Ego Is the Enemy
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Get good and get trusted by making the people ahead of me more successful.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday describes an old Roman role: a person who cleared the path in front of a patron. His version: when you are starting out, find canvases for other people to paint on. Clear the way for those above you, give away your ideas, take on the work nobody wants. He tells of a football coach who began as an unpaid assistant doing the film analysis others avoided, and of Benjamin Franklin, who slipped his early essays under the print-shop door under a false name and let others take the praise. Holiday says you learn the most, build relationships, and bank goodwill. Likely to trip me up: Holiday says it means putting aside the wish for credit, which is the very thing ego wants most. Note: advice from anecdotes. It assumes the people you help are fair. Some are not, so watch for being used. (Source: Ego Is the Enemy, 'Follow the Canvas Strategy'.)
The Three Steps of Apprenticeship (Mastery, Robert Greene): observe, practise, then experiment. Reciprocation (Influence, Robert Cialdini): people return what they are given.
People & Communication
The Canvas Strategy
Part I, Aspire, chapter 'Follow the Canvas Strategy'. Starts on p. 51 (Portfolio, 2016).
Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
17; 25
Plan: Each week I will do one useful thing for someone further along than me, such as research, an introduction or a fix, and ask for nothing. I will keep a note of what I learn from each.
apprentice, helping, credit, humility, mentors, career, service, assistant, give first, learning, relationships, ego, beginner, goodwill, support, grunt work, generosity, networking, long game, patience
You are new, and you want credit, a title and a voice now. You resent the small jobs, and miss what they would teach you.
Think of someone ahead of you in your field. Find one small, useful thing you could do for them today, and do it without being asked.
When you are starting out, help others succeed. Clear their path, give away ideas, take the dull jobs. You learn the most and earn trust.
The Obstacle Is the Way
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Have a fixed three-step drill for any setback, so I do not freeze or flail.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday builds the book on a line from Marcus Aurelius: what stands in the way becomes the way. He breaks the response to any obstacle into three disciplines. Perception is how we see what happens: calmly, plainly, looking for the opening. Action is what we do: small, persistent, practical steps. Will is the inner strength to endure what action cannot change, and to find meaning in it. Each of the book's three parts takes one of these. Likely to trip me up: Holiday says most people fail at the first step, since panic and complaint arrive before clear sight. Note: Holiday popularises Stoic ideas through historical anecdotes chosen to fit. It is philosophy and storytelling, not research. (Source: The Obstacle Is the Way, Introduction.)
The Obstacle Becomes the Way (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): the line the whole book is built on. Leave, Change or Accept (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): the same sorting, from a spiritual teacher.
Mindset & Emotions
Perception, Action, Will
Introduction. Starts on p. 1 (Portfolio/Penguin, 2014).
Manage stress / anxiety; Beat procrastination / focus
12; 07
Plan: For each obstacle I will write three lines: what is actually happening, the one next action I can take, and what I will have to accept if the action fails.
obstacle, setback, stoicism, perception, action, will, resilience, adversity, problem solving, calm, persistence, acceptance, framework, crisis, marcus aurelius, opportunity, response, endurance, steps, mindset
A setback hits and you react all at once: panic, blame, a rushed fix, despair. Nothing is done in order, so nothing works.
Take one current problem. Write three lines: what is actually happening, one action I can take, what I must accept if it fails.
Meet any obstacle in three steps: see it clearly, act on what you can, and endure what you cannot change. The obstacle becomes the path.
The Bhagavad Gita
Single Model
Eknath Easwaran (translator)
Not started
Give the work my full effort, and stop letting worry about results spoil the effort.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: in the second chapter Krishna tells Arjuna that he has a right to his work and never to the fruits of the work. He should not act for the sake of reward, and he should not fall into inaction either. The next verse asks him to act with an even mind, the same in success and in failure, and calls this evenness yoga. Easwaran explains it as doing your best and leaving the outcome, which depends on many forces beyond you. Likely to trip me up: the verse is often misread as not caring about results or not having goals. The teaching is about attachment, not about effort. Note: a sacred Hindu text, read here for its practical psychology. Translations and schools of interpretation differ on many verses. It is a teaching, not a research finding, though it fits modern work on focusing on the process. (Source: The Bhagavad Gita, 2.47 to 2.48.)
Follow the Process (The Obstacle Is the Way, Ryan Holiday): a modern coach's version. Resulting (Thinking in Bets, Annie Duke): a good decision can have a bad outcome.
Mindset & Emotions
The Right to the Work, Not to Its Fruits
Ch. 2, Self-Realization, verse 2.47 (with 2.48). Verse numbers are the same in all editions. Page not verified (Nilgiri Press, 2nd edition, 2007).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety; Beat procrastination / focus
27; 12; 07
Plan: Before each session I will write down what is in my hands today. After I publish, I will note the result once and go back to the next piece of work.
karma yoga, detachment, results, effort, outcome, anxiety, work, duty, fruits of action, equanimity, success, failure, attachment, process, gita, krishna, arjuna, nishkama karma, focus, letting go
You are so fixed on the result, the views, the grade, the sale, that you work badly, or you are too afraid of failing to start.
Before today's main task, write: 'My part is...' and list only what is in your hands. Do that part, and leave the rest.
You control your effort, never the outcome. Work with full commitment and let go of the anxious grip on results. Do not slide into inaction.
The Bhagavad Gita
Single Model
Eknath Easwaran (translator)
Not started
Accept that my mind is restless, and train it the only way it can be trained: a little, every day.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: in the sixth chapter Arjuna objects that the mind is restless, turbulent and as hard to control as the wind. Krishna agrees that it is restless and hard to restrain, and says it can be trained through regular practice and detachment. Earlier in the chapter he says a person must lift himself by his own efforts, since the mind can be one's friend or one's enemy. He adds that meditation is not for those who eat too much or too little, or sleep too much or too little, but for those who are moderate in eating, sleeping, work and recreation. Likely to trip me up: the text itself admits how hard this is, so I should expect the wandering and not count it as failure. Note: a sacred Hindu text. It is a teaching, not a study. Modern research does support regular meditation practice and the role of sleep in attention. (Source: The Bhagavad Gita, chapter 6.)
Watch the Thinker (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): observe the restless mind. Three Ways to Retrain the Elephant (The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt): meditation works slowly, through repetition.
Habits & Behavior Change
Practice and Detachment Tame the Restless Mind
Ch. 6, The Practice of Meditation, verses 6.34 to 6.35, with 6.5 to 6.6 and 6.16 to 6.17. Verse numbers are the same in all editions. Page not verified (Nilgiri Press, 2nd edition, 2007).
Meditate / mindfulness; Stop overthinking / rumination; Sleep better; Eat healthier
21; 15; 05; 02
Plan: I will sit for ten minutes at the same time daily. Each time the mind wanders I will bring it back without scolding. I will keep my food and sleep moderate, since the chapter says extremes undo the practice.
meditation, restless mind, practice, detachment, abhyasa, vairagya, moderation, sleep, food, discipline, attention, wandering, patience, gita, self-mastery, friend or enemy, daily, balance, focus, training
You try to meditate, your mind races, and you decide you are 'bad at it'. You quit after three days.
Sit for five minutes. Each time the mind wanders, bring it back gently and count one. The count is your practice, not your failure.
The mind is as restless as the wind. Two things train it: steady daily practice, and letting go of what it clings to. Moderation helps.
The Obstacle Is the Way
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Build strength of body and mind while things are calm, so it is there when they are not.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday tells of Theodore Roosevelt, a sickly, asthmatic boy whose father told him he had the mind but not the body, and that he must make his body. Roosevelt worked out daily for years and turned himself into a famously robust man, which he later drew on through grief and hardship. Holiday takes the Stoic image of the inner citadel, a fortress inside that no outside trouble can break down, and stresses that nobody is born with it. It is built by deliberate effort, in advance. Likely to trip me up: Holiday says people skip the building when times are good, which is the only time it can be done. Note: a biographical anecdote, simplified. The benefits of fitness, sleep and savings as buffers against stress are well supported elsewhere. (Source: The Obstacle Is the Way, 'Build Your Inner Citadel'.)
Callous Your Mind (Can't Hurt Me, David Goggins): regular chosen discomfort. Rehearse Misfortune (Letters from a Stoic, Seneca): prepare the mind before the blow.
Habits & Behavior Change
Build Your Inner Citadel
Part III, Will, chapter 'Build Your Inner Citadel'. Starts on p. 134 (Portfolio/Penguin, 2014).
Exercise / move daily; Manage stress / anxiety; Build emergency fund / invest
01; 12; 20
Plan: I will treat my exercise, sleep and savings as training for a hard day I cannot yet see, and keep them up most carefully when life feels easy.
resilience, preparation, strength, fitness, inner fortress, stoicism, training, adversity, discipline, roosevelt, body, mind, good times, reserve, toughness, buffer, hard times, foundation, willpower, self-reliance
When life is easy you let the training slide. When trouble comes, you find you have nothing in reserve.
Name the hard time you most fear. Pick one small daily practice that would make you stronger for it, and do it today.
Inner strength is not something you are born with. You build it in good times, through training of body and mind, so it holds in bad ones.
Ego Is the Enemy
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Turn the stretches of my life that I did not choose into time that builds me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday borrows a distinction from the writer Robert Greene. There are two kinds of time: dead time, when you are passive and waiting, and alive time, when you are learning, acting and using every second. His example is Malcolm X, who went to prison as a young criminal and used his years there to copy out a dictionary and read his way through the library. Holiday says that in any setback, a bad job, an illness, a wait, the choice between the two remains yours. Likely to trip me up: Holiday says resentment is the usual response to being stuck, and resentment is what makes time dead. Note: a biographical anecdote used as a parable. (Source: Ego Is the Enemy, 'Alive Time or Dead Time?'.)
The Last of the Human Freedoms (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): you choose your stance in any circumstance. Read a Lot and Write a Lot (On Writing, Stephen King): use the small gaps.
Productivity & Focus
Alive Time or Dead Time
Part III, Failure, chapter 'Alive Time or Dead Time?'. Page not verified (Portfolio, 2016).
Beat procrastination / focus; Read / learn more; Cut phone / social-media use
07; 09; 06
Plan: I will list the dead stretches in my week, such as the commute, waiting, and jobs I cannot leave yet, and give each one a use: a book, a skill, a plan.
time, waiting, stuck, setback, learning, prison, reading, commute, job, resentment, passive, active, use of time, self-education, opportunity, delay, choice, boredom, growth, dead time
You are stuck in a job, a recovery or a long wait. You kill the time with your phone and tell yourself life starts after.
Name one stretch of 'dead' time in your day. Decide what you will learn or make in it, and start today.
Any stretch of time you did not choose can be dead time, spent waiting and resenting, or alive time, spent learning. The choice is yours.
The Obstacle Is the Way
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Spend no energy wishing a thing had not happened, and put all of it into what I can make from it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday tells of Thomas Edison at sixty-seven, watching his factory and years of work burn. He told his son to fetch his mother and her friends, since they would never see a fire like it again. The next day he began rebuilding. Holiday uses the Latin phrase amor fati, love of fate: for what we cannot change, the step beyond accepting it is to embrace it, since it is the only material we have to work with. He is clear this applies after the fact, not as a reason to stop trying beforehand. Likely to trip me up: Holiday says it feels unnatural to be grateful for what we never wanted. Note: a well-known anecdote, retold simply. The idea is philosophical, not a research finding, and it is not meant to wave away real grief. (Source: The Obstacle Is the Way, 'Love Everything That Happens: Amor Fati'.)
Surrender Is Not Resignation (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): accept the moment, then act. The No-Lose Decision (Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers): every outcome has something in it to use.
Mindset & Emotions
Amor Fati
Part III, Will, chapter 'Love Everything That Happens: Amor Fati'. Starts on p. 150 (Portfolio/Penguin, 2014).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 04
Plan: When something goes wrong that I cannot undo, I will say 'good, now I can...' and finish the sentence three different ways.
amor fati, acceptance, fate, setback, loss, gratitude, stoicism, embrace, fire, rebuilding, resilience, fuel, regret, cannot change, attitude, cheerfulness, adversity, edison, reframe, energy
Something has gone wrong and cannot be undone. You spend weeks wishing it had not happened, which changes nothing.
Take one thing you wish had not happened. Finish this sentence three ways: 'Good. Now I can...'
Do not just tolerate what you cannot change. Embrace it. What happened is the only material you have, so treat it as fuel.
Ego Is the Enemy
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Choose the work over the look of success, each time the two pull apart.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday describes John Boyd, an American fighter pilot and strategist who changed modern air combat and was never promoted to general. Boyd gave promising officers the same speech. One day you will come to a fork in the road. One way, you can be somebody: make compromises, get the promotions and the good assignments. The other way, you can do something that matters, and you may never be rewarded for it. To be or to do: which way will you go? Holiday says ego pulls towards titles, credit and appearances, and that purpose asks only what needs doing. Likely to trip me up: Holiday says the two paths look alike at first, and that the rewards of 'being' are visible while the rewards of 'doing' are not. Note: one man's speech, used as a parable. (Source: Ego Is the Enemy, 'To Be or To Do?'.)
Territory, Not Hierarchy (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): work for the work, not for rank. Success Is Private (The Creative Act, Rick Rubin with Neil Strauss): your own verdict comes first.
Decision-Making & Risk
To Be or To Do?
Part I, Aspire, chapter 'To Be or To Do?'. Starts on p. 29 (Portfolio, 2016).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
26; 27
Plan: At each fork, I will ask which option helps me do better work and which only makes me look better, and write down which one I chose and why.
status, titles, recognition, purpose, ego, career, promotion, credit, integrity, doing, being, appearances, ambition, compromise, mission, fork in the road, image, substance, work, choice
You pick projects for how they will look, not for what they will do. You collect titles and followers and feel oddly empty.
Look at your main goal. Ask: do I want to be this, or do the work this involves? Write one honest sentence in answer.
At each fork you can chase being somebody, with titles and credit, or doing something that matters. They are often different roads.
Ego Is the Enemy
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Have three kinds of people around my craft: someone ahead of me, someone behind me, and someone level with me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday passes on a system from a mixed martial arts champion, who says every fighter needs three people: a plus, someone better to learn from; a minus, someone lesser to teach; and an equal, to challenge themselves against. The point is to get constant, honest information about what you know and do not know, from every angle. Holiday also tells of a guitarist who, just after joining a famous band, went and took lessons, since he saw how much he still lacked. He says ego blocks this, since nobody can learn what they think they already know. Likely to trip me up: Holiday says taking the student's role means accepting that someone is better than you, which stings. Note: a training rule from sport, told through anecdote. (Source: Ego Is the Enemy, 'Become a Student'.)
The Mentor Dynamic (Mastery, Robert Greene): learn from someone ahead of you. Teach What You Know (Show Your Work!, Austin Kleon): teaching shows you what you understand.
Learning & Knowledge
Plus, Minus, Equal
Part I, Aspire, chapter 'Become a Student'. Starts on p. 36 (Portfolio, 2016).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more; Improve relationships / communicate
17; 09; 25
Plan: I will name my plus, my minus and my equal for the skill I am building, and set a regular contact with each: learning from one, teaching one, and comparing notes with one.
learning, mentor, teaching, peers, feedback, student, humility, skills, training, plus minus equal, sparring, improvement, ego, coach, community, practice, honest assessment, beginner, mastery, growth
You learn alone, or only from people at your own level. Nobody shows you how far there is to go, and you never find out what you can explain.
Write three names: someone better than you at your craft, someone you could teach, and a peer. Contact the one you are missing.
To keep improving, you need three people: someone better to learn from, someone newer to teach, and an equal to test yourself against.
The Art of Living
Single Model
Epictetus (interpreted by Sharon Lebell)
Not started
When I am upset, look for the judgement I made, since that is the part I can change.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Epictetus says people are disturbed not by things but by the views they take of them. His example is death: it is not terrible in itself, or it would have seemed so to Socrates. The terror lies in our notion that it is terrible. So when we are hindered or upset, we should never blame others, only our own judgements. He adds a progression: the uninstructed blame others, the beginner blames himself, and the instructed blames nobody. Likely to trip me up: the view arrives fused with the event, so it feels like part of what happened. Note: Lebell's book is a free modern rendering. The founders of cognitive therapy, Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck, both credited this passage as a root of their method, which is well supported by research. (Source: The Art of Living, rendering of Enchiridion 5.)
It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): the same teaching, from an emperor who studied Epictetus. The Ten Cognitive Distortions (Feeling Good, David Burns): the common faulty views.
Mindset & Emotions
It Is Your View of Events That Hurts
Manual section rendering Epictetus, Enchiridion 5. Lebell's section title not verified. Page not verified (HarperOne, 1995).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 15; 04
Plan: When something disturbs me I will write the event in one line and my view of it in another, and ask what other view a calm person might hold.
judgement, views, interpretation, events, upset, stoicism, cbt, cognitive therapy, blame, perception, thoughts, disturbance, epictetus, reaction, reframe, beliefs, calm, opinion, responsibility, mind
You believe the email, the delay or the remark caused your distress directly. So you feel helpless, since you cannot change what happened.
Next time you are upset, write: 'The event was... My view of it is...' Then write one other view a calm friend might take.
People are disturbed not by events but by the views they take of them. Change the view, and the same event disturbs you less.
Ego Is the Enemy
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Stop spending my energy announcing the work, and spend it doing the work.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday tells of a writer who, before running for office, published a book describing in the past tense how he had already won and fixed everything. He then lost badly. Holiday says talking about a goal and working on it draw on the same energy, and that talk gives a feeling of progress that replaces the real thing. He describes how social media makes this worse, by rewarding announcements. His advice: silence is strength, so do the work and let it speak. Likely to trip me up: Holiday says facing the hard, uncertain work is frightening, and talking about it is the easy way out. Note: an argument from anecdotes. A 2009 study by Peter Gollwitzer and colleagues found something similar: people who told others about an identity goal then worked less on it. (Source: Ego Is the Enemy, 'Talk, Talk, Talk'.)
Door Closed, Then Door Open (On Writing, Stephen King): keep the first draft to yourself. Share Something Small Every Day (Show Your Work!, Austin Kleon): the counterpoint, which is to share finished pieces of real work, not plans.
Productivity & Focus
Talk, Talk, Talk
Part I, Aspire, chapter 'Talk, Talk, Talk'. Starts on p. 23 (Portfolio, 2016).
Beat procrastination / focus; Cut phone / social-media use; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
07; 06; 27
Plan: I will not post about a project until a finished piece of it exists. When I feel the urge to announce, I will do thirty minutes of the work first.
talking, announcing, goals, social media, ego, silence, doing, validation, plans, procrastination, progress, posting, work, energy, substitute, humility, action, hype, focus, results
You announce the book, the channel, the diet. The praise feels like an achievement. The work itself never quite starts.
Pick one project you have been talking about. Tell nobody anything today. Do thirty minutes of it.
Talking about what you are going to do feels like progress and uses up the energy the work needs. Stay quiet and do it.
The Bhagavad Gita
Single Model
Eknath Easwaran (translator)
Not started
Catch temptation at the first link, when I am only thinking about it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: two verses lay out a chain. When you keep thinking about sense objects, attachment comes. Attachment breeds desire. Thwarted desire flares into anger. Anger clouds judgement. Clouded judgement loses the lessons of past experience, and with them the power to choose wisely, and the person is lost. Easwaran stresses how early the chain starts: not with the act, but with letting the mind dwell. The practical lesson is to step in at the first link, where it is still easy. Likely to trip me up: dwelling on a pleasure feels harmless and even enjoyable, which is why the first link goes unnoticed. Note: a sacred Hindu text, read here for its practical psychology. Translations differ. The idea that rehearsing a temptation in the mind strengthens craving does fit modern research on desire. (Source: The Bhagavad Gita, 2.62 to 2.63.)
Wanting Is Not Liking (The Molecule of More, Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long): how cues build craving. The Sacred Pause (Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach): where to break the chain.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Chain from Dwelling to Ruin
Ch. 2, Self-Realization, verses 2.62 to 2.63. Verse numbers are the same in all editions. Page not verified (Nilgiri Press, 2nd edition, 2007).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Cut phone / social-media use; Quit smoking / vaping; Stop overthinking / rumination
19; 06; 10; 15
Plan: When I notice my mind going back to something I am trying to avoid, I will name it as 'dwelling', move my attention to a task, and change where I am if I can.
temptation, craving, desire, attachment, anger, chain, dwelling, thoughts, senses, self-control, judgement, impulse, gita, mind, early, addiction, rumination, fantasy, restraint, attention
You tell yourself that just thinking about it does no harm. By the time you act, the decision was made ten steps back.
Notice the next time your mind keeps returning to a temptation. Say 'dwelling', and move your attention and your body to something else.
Dwelling on a temptation breeds attachment, then craving, then anger when blocked, then clouded judgement. Break the chain at link one.
Tao Te Ching
Single Model
Lao Tzu
Not started
Handle things while they are small, and start big things with the first small step.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: one chapter advises planning for the difficult while it is still easy and doing the great thing while it is still small, since the hard things in the world always begin as easy ones. The next says what is at rest is easy to hold, what has not yet shown signs is easy to plan for, the brittle is easy to break and the tiny is easy to scatter. Deal with things before they arise. It then gives the book's most famous image: a tree you can barely get your arms around grows from a tiny shoot, and a journey of a thousand miles begins under your feet. Likely to trip me up: small problems do not feel urgent, which is the whole reason they are left to grow. Note: a short Chinese classic with uncertain authorship and many differing translations. Philosophy, not research. (Source: Tao Te Ching, chapters 63 and 64.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the first step tiny. The Domino Effect (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller): small things done in order knock over big ones.
Productivity & Focus
Deal with It While It Is Small
Ch. 63 and 64. Chapter numbers are the same in all editions. Wording varies by translation.
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Be more punctual / manage time
07; 13; 23
Plan: Each morning I will pick the one small thing that will grow if I leave it, and do it first. For big projects I will define the first step and take it the same day.
small steps, early, prevention, procrastination, journey of a thousand miles, first step, problems, planning, easy, difficult, growth, neglect, timing, maintenance, taoism, beginnings, small tasks, debt, health, start
You ignore the small leak, the small debt, the small ache. You also put off the big project until you can do it 'properly'.
Name one small problem you have been ignoring. Deal with it today, while it is still a ten-minute job.
Hard things begin easy and big things begin small. Handle a problem before it grows, and begin a long journey with the step at your feet.
Tao Te Ching
Single Model
Lao Tzu
Not started
Notice where I am straining against the grain, and look for the way that goes with it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the book returns often to wu wei, usually translated as non-action or effortless action. One chapter says the Way never acts, yet nothing is left undone. Another says that in the pursuit of learning something is added every day, and in the pursuit of the Way something is dropped every day, until one arrives at non-forcing. A third says: act without striving, work without effort. Commentators explain that this is not laziness. It is acting in line with the nature of the situation, like a skilled cook whose knife follows the joints. Likely to trip me up: effort feels virtuous, so forcing feels like the right thing even when it makes matters worse. Note: a short Chinese classic, traditionally attributed to Lao Tzu, though scholars doubt a single author and date the text around the fourth century BC. English versions differ a great deal, and some popular ones are loose interpretations. Philosophy, not research. (Source: Tao Te Ching, chapters 37, 48 and 63.)
Surrender Is Not Resignation (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): accept first, then act. Follow the Process (The Obstacle Is the Way, Ryan Holiday): steady steps in place of strain.
Mindset & Emotions
Wu Wei: Act Without Forcing
Ch. 37, 48 and 63. Chapter numbers are the same in all editions. Wording varies by translation.
Manage stress / anxiety; Be more productive / organised; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
12; 13; 27
Plan: When a task feels like pushing a wall, I will stop and ask what I am forcing: the timing, the method or the person. I will try one less forceful way before I push harder.
wu wei, effortless action, non-forcing, flow, strain, striving, ease, timing, nature, taoism, going with the grain, letting go, control, patience, skill, simplicity, overdoing, resistance, calm, lao tzu
You push harder on everything: the conversation, the schedule, your own body. The harder you push, the more things push back.
Pick one thing you are forcing. Ask: what would this look like if I worked with it and not against it? Try that for one day.
Wu wei is action without forcing. You work with the grain of the situation, not against it, so that less strain gets more done.
Tao Te Ching
Single Model
Lao Tzu
Not started
Protect the empty space in my day, my home and my work, since that is where they become usable.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the chapter gives three images. Thirty spokes join at one hub, and it is the empty hole at the centre that makes the wheel useful. Clay is shaped into a pot, and it is the space inside that makes the pot useful. Doors and windows are cut for a room, and it is the empty space that makes the room useful. It concludes that we gain from what is there, and we use what is not there. Likely to trip me up: empty space looks like waste, so the urge is to fill every gap in a calendar, a shelf or a page. Note: a short Chinese classic with uncertain authorship and many differing translations. Philosophy, not research. (Source: Tao Te Ching, chapter 11.)
Creativity Is Subtraction (Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon): what you leave out makes the work. Less but Better (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): fewer things, with room around them.
Systems & Strategy
The Use of Emptiness
Ch. 11. Chapter numbers are the same in all editions. Wording varies by translation.
Be more productive / organised; Limit multitasking / context-switching; Cut phone / social-media use
13; 28; 06
Plan: I will leave one unscheduled block in each day and one clear surface in each room. In scripts and designs, I will cut until there is room around the main point.
emptiness, space, margin, white space, calendar, clutter, simplicity, design, silence, rest, minimalism, room, usefulness, gaps, schedule, overbooked, taoism, pause, buffer, less
Your calendar, your shelves and your slides are all full to the edge. Nothing new can come in, and nothing in them can move.
Clear one surface and one hour in your day. Leave both empty until tomorrow, and notice what they allow.
A cup is useful for its empty space, a room for its open floor, a wheel for the hole at its hub. What is not there does the work.
The Art of Living
Single Model
Epictetus (interpreted by Sharon Lebell)
Not started
Sort each worry by whether it is mine to control, before I spend anything on it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the manual opens with one principle: some things are within our control and some are not. Within our control are our own opinions, aims, desires and the things that repel us. Outside it are our body, our wealth, how others regard us, and our status. Epictetus, who was born a slave, says freedom and calm begin only when you learn to tell the two apart and stop trying to command the second kind. Trying to control what you cannot brings only torment. Likely to trip me up: the line is not always obvious. I influence many things I do not control, and I can control only my part. Note: Lebell's book is a free modern rendering, not a literal translation. For exact wording use a scholarly translation of the Enchiridion. Philosophy, not research. (Source: The Art of Living, opening section.)
Circle of Concern, Circle of Influence (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): the modern business version. Leave, Change or Accept (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): what to do once you have sorted.
Mindset & Emotions
Some Things Are Up to Us
Opening of the manual (renders Epictetus, Enchiridion 1). Page not verified (HarperOne, 1995).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Stop comparing / social-media envy
12; 15; 26
Plan: When I am anxious I will draw two columns, 'up to me' and 'not up to me', sort the worry into parts, and act only on the first column.
control, dichotomy of control, stoicism, worry, acceptance, opinions, reputation, body, wealth, status, freedom, anxiety, epictetus, externals, influence, serenity, focus, letting go, judgement, choice
You pour worry into other people's opinions, the economy and the past, and neglect the one thing you do command: your next choice.
Take today's biggest worry. Split it into 'up to me' and 'not up to me'. Do one thing from the first list.
Some things are in your control: your opinions, aims and choices. Most are not: body, reputation, outcomes. Put your effort in the first.
Tao Te Ching
Single Model
Lao Tzu
Not started
In conflict, stay soft and persistent, and stop meeting hardness with hardness.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the book says the highest good is like water, which benefits all things and does not compete, and settles in the low places people disdain. A later chapter says nothing in the world is softer or weaker than water, yet nothing is better at overcoming the hard and strong. The weak overcomes the strong and the soft overcomes the hard. Everyone knows this, it adds, and nobody can put it into practice. Likely to trip me up: yielding feels like losing, in the moment, which is why people know the principle and do not use it. Note: a short Chinese classic with uncertain authorship and many differing translations. Philosophy, not research. (Source: Tao Te Ching, chapters 8 and 78.)
The Soft Zone (The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin): flex with conditions and keep your centre. Venting Does Not Cool Anger (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): force feeds force.
People & Communication
Be Like Water
Ch. 8 and 78. Chapter numbers are the same in all editions. Wording varies by translation.
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 12
Plan: In my next disagreement I will lower my voice, give way on what does not matter, and keep returning calmly to the one point that does.
water, softness, yielding, flexibility, humility, persistence, conflict, strength, gentle, adapt, taoism, non-competition, patience, erosion, low places, arguments, force, flow, resilience, lao tzu
You meet resistance with more force: a louder voice, a harder line. The other side hardens too, and you both get stuck.
In your next disagreement, give way on one point that does not matter. Then return, calmly, to the one that does.
Water is soft and yielding, takes the low place, and wears down rock. Flexibility and patience overcome what force cannot.
The Bhagavad Gita
Single Model
Eknath Easwaran (translator)
Not started
Have a simple lens for what I take in: does it leave me clear, agitated or dull?
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the fourteenth chapter describes three qualities that run through everything in nature and in the mind. Sattva is clarity, harmony and lightness. Rajas is passion, restlessness and drive. Tamas is inertia, dullness and confusion. Everyone has all three in shifting proportion. Chapter seventeen applies them to food: fresh, mild, nourishing food supports clarity; very hot, sour or salty food goes with agitation; stale or overcooked food goes with dullness. Easwaran presents it as a way to watch what your choices do to your state of mind. Likely to trip me up: rajas feels like energy and tamas feels like rest, so both are easy to mistake for what I need. Note: a traditional classification from a sacred text, not nutrition science. It works as a lens for self-observation, not as a claim about particular foods. (Source: The Bhagavad Gita, chapters 14 and 17.)
The Three Levers of Eating (Outlive, Peter Attia): a modern clinical framework for food. Harmony: Balance Wanting with Having (The Molecule of More, Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long): drive and contentment in balance.
Systems & Strategy
The Three Gunas
Ch. 14, The Forces of Evolution. Applied to food in Ch. 17, The Power of Faith, verses 17.7 to 17.10. Page not verified (Nilgiri Press, 2nd edition, 2007).
Eat healthier; Exercise / move daily; Sleep better
02; 01; 05
Plan: For one week I will tag my meals, media and evenings with one of three words, clear, restless or dull, by how I feel an hour later, and shift a little towards clear.
gunas, sattva, rajas, tamas, clarity, restlessness, inertia, food, diet, energy, mood, lethargy, agitation, balance, self-observation, gita, lifestyle, media, freshness, state of mind
You swing between wired and sluggish and never ask what you have been feeding yourself: food, screens, company.
An hour after each meal today, note one word: clear, restless or dull. Look for the pattern tonight.
Every food, activity and mood leans to one of three qualities: clarity, restless drive or dull inertia. Notice which you are feeding.
The Art of Living
Single Model
Epictetus (interpreted by Sharon Lebell)
Not started
Take what comes to me with moderation, and stop straining after what has not arrived.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Epictetus says to behave in life as at a dinner party. When a dish is passed to you, reach out and take a moderate helping. If it passes you by, do not stop it. If it has not come yet, do not stretch your desire out towards it, but wait for your turn. He says to act the same way towards children, a spouse, position and wealth, and that a person who can do this is a worthy guest of the gods. Likely to trip me up: the feeds I scroll are an endless view of dishes on other people's tables. Note: Lebell's book is a free modern rendering. Philosophy, not research. (Source: The Art of Living, rendering of Enchiridion 15.)
Know When You Have Enough (Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu): the same counsel from China. Up and Down (The Molecule of More, Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long): why what is out of reach pulls so hard.
Mindset & Emotions
Life as a Banquet
Manual section rendering Epictetus, Enchiridion 15. Lebell's section title not verified. Page not verified (HarperOne, 1995).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Reduce debt / control spending
26; 19; 22
Plan: When I envy something another person has, I will picture the dinner table and say 'it has not come to me yet'. When something good does arrive, I will take a moderate share.
moderation, patience, envy, desire, banquet, turn, grasping, contentment, manners, wealth, status, waiting, stoicism, comparison, appetite, enough, epictetus, greed, gratitude, restraint
You grab at every opportunity and pleasure, and ache for the ones that went to someone else. You are never at ease at your own table.
Notice one thing you are straining after that has not come to you yet. Say: 'It has not reached me yet.' Turn to what is on your plate.
Behave in life as at a dinner. When a dish reaches you, take a modest share. If it passes, let it. If it has not come, do not strain for it.
The Art of Living
Single Model
Epictetus (interpreted by Sharon Lebell)
Not started
In a quarrel with someone close, pick the situation up by the bond, not by the injury.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Epictetus says everything has two handles, one by which it can be carried and one by which it cannot. If your brother wrongs you, do not take hold of it by the handle of his wrongdoing, since it cannot be carried by that one. Take hold of it by the other: that he is your brother, that you were raised together. Then you will be holding it by the handle that can bear the weight. Likely to trip me up: the injury is the handle nearest to hand, and gripping it feels justified. Note: Lebell's book is a free modern rendering. Philosophy, not research. It is advice for ordinary wrongs between people who matter to each other, not a reason to put up with abuse. (Source: The Art of Living, rendering of Enchiridion 43.)
The Inner Lawyer (The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt): we argue our own side by reflex. Complain, Do Not Criticise (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): address the act and protect the bond.
People & Communication
Everything Has Two Handles
Manual section rendering Epictetus, Enchiridion 43. Lebell's section title not verified. Page not verified (HarperOne, 1995).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: When someone close wrongs me, I will write both handles: what they did, and what we are to each other. I will start the conversation from the second.
relationships, conflict, family, forgiveness, perspective, two handles, grudge, brother, resentment, reframe, bond, quarrel, stoicism, choice, interpretation, friends, injury, reconciliation, epictetus, carry
Someone close hurts you, and you keep picking the matter up by the hurt. It gets heavier each time, and you cannot put it down.
Think of someone close who has annoyed you. Write the two handles: what they did, and what they are to you. Pick it up by the second.
Every situation has two handles: one you can carry it by, one you cannot. When a brother wrongs you, hold 'he is my brother', not the wrong.
Tao Te Ching
Single Model
Lao Tzu
Not started
Decide what enough is for me, so that wanting stops setting the target.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: one chapter says that the person who knows he has enough is rich. Another asks which matters more, your name or your self, your self or your goods, and answers that whoever knows contentment meets no disgrace, and whoever knows when to stop meets no danger. A third says there is no greater misfortune than not knowing what is enough, and no greater fault than the wish to acquire. The contentment of knowing you have enough, it says, is lasting. Likely to trip me up: 'enough' is never defined by the world around me, which always suggests a little more. Note: a short Chinese classic with uncertain authorship and many differing translations. Philosophy, not research, though it matches modern findings that we adapt quickly to having more. (Source: Tao Te Ching, chapters 33, 44 and 46.)
The Fulfillment Curve (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): the point past which more adds nothing. Never Enough (Daring Greatly, Brené Brown): scarcity as a habit of mind.
Decision-Making & Risk
Know When You Have Enough
Ch. 33, 44 and 46. Chapter numbers are the same in all editions. Wording varies by translation.
Save money / spend less; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Reduce debt / control spending
03; 26; 22
Plan: I will write down what enough looks like for my income, my home and my audience. When I want more, I will check the wish against the page before I act.
enough, contentment, wealth, desire, greed, stopping, simplicity, money, status, more, satisfaction, taoism, possessions, limits, comparison, ambition, peace, frugality, wanting, riches
Every target you hit is replaced by a bigger one. You have never written down what 'enough' would be, so you cannot arrive.
Write one sentence for each: enough money, enough space, enough recognition. Keep the page where you will see it.
The person who knows they have enough is rich. No amount satisfies someone who does not know where to stop.
The Bhagavad Gita
Single Model
Eknath Easwaran (translator)
Not started
Do my own work in my own way, even when it looks rougher than someone else's.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Krishna tells Arjuna that it is better to do one's own duty imperfectly than to do another's well, and that there is danger in taking up a path that is not yours. The verse appears in chapter three and is repeated near the end of the book. Easwaran reads it as being true to your own nature and responsibilities, and not living by imitation, however admirable the person you are imitating. Likely to trip me up: someone else's path, done well, always looks better from outside than my own, done badly. Note: a sacred Hindu text. Interpretations of 'one's own duty' differ, and the verse has a long and debated history. This row follows Easwaran's reading. (Source: The Bhagavad Gita, 3.35 and 18.47.)
To Be or To Do? (Ego Is the Enemy, Ryan Holiday): choose the work that is yours over the look of success. Fitting In Is Not Belonging (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): do not reshape yourself to match others.
Mindset & Emotions
Your Own Path, Imperfectly
Ch. 3, Selfless Service, verse 3.35. Repeated at 18.47. Verse numbers are the same in all editions. Page not verified (Nilgiri Press, 2nd edition, 2007).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Improve mental health / be happier
26; 04
Plan: When I feel the pull to copy a more successful creator's path, I will write what is mine to do, given my nature and duties, and do one step of that.
dharma, own path, comparison, imitation, duty, authenticity, envy, calling, nature, imperfect, copying, gita, svadharma, role, identity, career, creators, responsibility, self-knowledge, purpose
You see someone thriving and start copying their path, their style, their life. You do it fairly well, and feel more lost each month.
Write one thing you are doing mainly because it works for someone else. Then write what your own version of it would be.
It is better to do your own work imperfectly than to do someone else's perfectly. A path that is not yours is a dangerous one to follow.
The Obstacle Is the Way
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Keep my attention on the step in front of me, and let the big result take care of itself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday describes a famous American football coach who teaches his players what he calls the process. They are told not to think about the championship or even the scoreboard, only about what needs to be done in this drill, this play, this moment, and to do that well. Holiday says a huge task stops being frightening when it becomes a chain of small ones, each of which you can finish. Excellence, in this view, is a matter of steps done in order. Likely to trip me up: Holiday says the mind keeps leaping ahead to the outcome, and that thinking about the finish line is how people stumble on the step in front of them. Note: an anecdote-based argument. It fits research showing that focusing on the process supports persistence. (Source: The Obstacle Is the Way, 'Follow the Process'.)
The Right to the Work, Not to Its Fruits (The Bhagavad Gita, trans. Eknath Easwaran): the same teaching, two thousand years older. Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the first step tiny.
Productivity & Focus
Follow the Process
Part II, Action, chapter 'Follow the Process'. Starts on p. 87 (Portfolio/Penguin, 2014).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Exercise / move daily
07; 13; 01
Plan: I will break each project into steps small enough to finish in one sitting, and each day look only at today's step. I will review the far goal once a week, not daily.
process, steps, next action, overwhelm, outcome, focus, present task, coaching, sport, small wins, big goals, anxiety, discipline, routine, execution, finish, sequence, patience, project, excellence
You look at the whole mountain, the book, the debt, the marathon, and feel sick. So you do nothing, or you rush and trip.
Pick your biggest project. Write only the very next physical step. Do that step today and do not look further.
Do not think about the prize. Think about the next small thing in front of you and do it well. Big results are chains of small steps.
The Obstacle Is the Way
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Separate what happened from the story I add to it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday says there is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means. 'This happened' is an observation. 'And it is bad' is a judgement we add. He borrows a swordsman's distinction between the observing eye, which sees what is there, and the perceiving eye, which sees more than is there. He describes Marcus Aurelius's exercise of describing grand things in plain terms, a fine wine as fermented grapes, to strip away their power. He also suggests imagining the problem belongs to a friend, since we see others' troubles clearly. Likely to trip me up: Holiday says our own problems come wrapped in fear and ego, which is exactly what blurs them. Note: Stoic practice retold with anecdotes. It is close to the cognitive therapy habit of separating facts from interpretations. (Source: The Obstacle Is the Way, 'Practice Objectivity'.)
Strip It Down to What It Is (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): the original exercise that Holiday retells. Observe Without Evaluating (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): state what a camera would record.
Thinking & Reasoning
Practice Objectivity
Part I, Perception, chapter 'Practice Objectivity'. Starts on p. 32 (Portfolio/Penguin, 2014).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety
15; 12
Plan: When something upsets me I will write the bare event in one sentence with no adjectives. Then I will write the advice I would give a friend in the same spot.
objectivity, facts, story, judgement, interpretation, perception, drama, adjectives, calm, advice to a friend, distance, stoicism, emotions, clarity, problem, reframing, bias, overreaction, plain description, perspective
'I lost the client' becomes 'I am finished' in two seconds. You respond to the second sentence, which exists only in your head.
Write down something that upset you today in one sentence, with no adjectives and no 'always' or 'never'. Read it back.
There is the event, and there is the story you add about what it means. Describe what happened in plain words first. Leave the story off.
The Art of Living
Single Model
Epictetus (interpreted by Sharon Lebell)
Not started
Hold what I have with care and an open hand.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Epictetus says never to say of anything 'I have lost it', only 'I have given it back'. Whatever we have was given to us for a time, and the giver may ask for it again. While it is with us, we should take care of it as something that belongs to another, the way travellers treat an inn. Lebell's rendering says nothing can truly be taken from us, and that peace begins when we stop saying of things 'I have lost it'. Likely to trip me up: this is easy to say about objects and very hard to say about people. Note: Lebell's book is a free modern rendering. This is a consolation from philosophy, not a finding, and it is not a substitute for grieving a real loss. (Source: The Art of Living, 'Care for What You Happen to Have'.)
Rehearse Misfortune (Letters from a Stoic, Seneca): think ahead to loss so it does not ambush you. Gratitude Is a Practice (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): notice what you have while you have it.
Mindset & Emotions
Nothing Is Lost, Only Returned
Section 'Care for What You Happen to Have' (renders Epictetus, Enchiridion 11). Page not verified (HarperOne, 1995).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier; Save money / spend less
12; 04; 03
Plan: Once a week I will pick one thing or person I value and remind myself it is on loan. I will use that as a prompt to look after it today.
loss, impermanence, attachment, possessions, grief, gratitude, borrowed, stoicism, letting go, care, ownership, change, acceptance, epictetus, inn, loan, security, fear of loss, appreciation, peace
You cling to your things, your position and your plans as if they were yours for ever. Every change feels like a theft.
Pick one thing you would hate to lose. Say: 'This is on loan.' Then do one thing today to look after it.
Treat what you have as on loan. Care for it while it is with you. When it goes, say 'I have given it back', not 'I have lost it'.
The Molecule of More
Single Model
Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long
Not started
Give the here-and-now side of my life as much room as the striving side.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors end by saying that a life run by dopamine alone is all pursuit and no arrival, and a life with none is aimless. Their advice is balance. They recommend mastery, since getting good at something satisfies the wanting system and gives present-moment pleasure too. They recommend paying attention to what is in front of you, and say that doing several things at once makes all of them worse. They also praise making things with your hands, such as cooking, gardening or woodwork, which joins a plan to a physical, sensory task. Likely to trip me up: the authors say modern life rewards the future-chasing side, so the here-and-now side needs deliberate protection. Note: sensible advice in line with wider wellbeing research. The brain-chemistry framing is simplified. (Source: The Molecule of More, Ch. 7.)
Use Your Hands (Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon): get away from the screen and make something. Do Things for Their Own Sake (Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman): activities with no goal beyond themselves.
Mindset & Emotions
Harmony: Balance Wanting with Having
Ch. 7, Harmony. Page not verified (BenBella Books, 2018).
Meditate / mindfulness; Improve mental health / be happier; Limit multitasking / context-switching
21; 04; 28
Plan: I will keep one hobby where I make something with my hands, do one thing at a time during it, and protect unhurried time with people I love each week.
balance, presence, mastery, hobbies, hands, cooking, gardening, mindfulness, multitasking, striving, ambition, contentment, senses, craft, attention, now, future, dopamine, wellbeing, harmony
Your whole day is plans, targets and screens. Nothing in it is done for its own sake, and nothing is felt with your hands.
Spend thirty minutes making something physical: a meal, a repair, a drawing. One task, no phone, full attention.
A good life needs both drives: reaching for more and enjoying what is here. Mastery, full attention and work with your hands join the two.
Letters from a Stoic
Single Model
Seneca (trans. Robin Campbell)
Not started
Before I change my surroundings, check how much of the trouble is coming from me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Seneca's friend complains that travel has not lifted his gloom. Seneca replies that he needs a change of soul, not a change of climate. He quotes Socrates: why wonder that travel does you no good, when you carry yourself around with you? The faults that drove you out go with you. Until the load on the mind is put down, no place will please, and once it is, any place will do. He returns to the point in a later letter: what you need is to be a different person, not to be in a different place. Likely to trip me up: Seneca says the restless mind reads every new place as the cure, for a week. Note: moral letters written around AD 65. Some surroundings truly are harmful, and leaving them is wise. The model is a check to run first, not a rule against ever moving. (Source: Letters from a Stoic, Letters XXVIII and CIV.)
The Happiness Formula (The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt): we adapt to most changes of circumstance. Job Crafting (Grit, Angela Duckworth): change the work from inside before you leave it.
Mindset & Emotions
You Take Yourself with You
Letter XXVIII (On travel as a cure for discontent). Echoed in Letter CIV. Page not verified (Penguin Classics, 1969).
Improve mental health / be happier; Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety
04; 15; 12
Plan: Before any big move, I will list what I expect the change to fix. For each item I will ask if it would follow me, and start working on those first.
travel, escape, moving, new job, fresh start, discontent, restless, geography, baggage, self, change, running away, unhappiness, inner work, relocation, holiday, problems follow, stoicism, mind, place
You are sure the next move will fix how you feel. It did not last time, or the time before.
Write what you hope a big change would fix. Circle the items that would follow you anywhere. Start on one of those today.
A new city, job or partner will not fix a restless mind, since you bring the mind along. Change the traveller, not only the place.
Letters from a Stoic
Single Model
Seneca (trans. Robin Campbell)
Not started
Borrow the steadiness of someone I admire at the moments I am weakest.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Seneca passes on advice from Epicurus: choose someone of high character and keep them always before your eyes, living as if they were watching you and doing everything as if they saw it. He says much wrongdoing disappears if a witness stands beside the person about to do it. Choose someone whose life and manner you approve, he says, as a guardian or a model, since without a ruler to measure against you cannot make the crooked straight. Likely to trip me up: Seneca's point implies the person must be chosen in advance and called to mind on purpose. At the moment of temptation nobody comes to mind unasked. Note: moral letters from a Roman statesman, written around AD 65. Modern studies do find that people behave better when they feel observed. (Source: Letters from a Stoic, Letter XI.)
The Accountability Mirror (Can't Hurt Me, David Goggins): be your own honest witness. The Mentor Dynamic (Mastery, Robert Greene): learn from a chosen model.
Habits & Behavior Change
Choose Someone to Watch You
Letter XI (On the blush of modesty). Page not verified (Penguin Classics, 1969).
Beat procrastination / focus; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Quit smoking / vaping
07; 19; 10
Plan: I will choose one person whose character I respect, put their name or picture where I work, and at moments of temptation ask what I would do if they were in the room.
role model, witness, accountability, character, temptation, guardian, mentor, observed, conscience, standards, example, self-control, integrity, hero, watching, discipline, imagination, virtue, measure, stoicism
Alone, with nobody watching, your standards drop. You do things you would never do in front of someone you respect.
Name one person, living or dead, whose character you admire. Today, at one moment of temptation, ask: 'What if they were watching?'
Pick a person whose character you admire. Keep them in mind and act as if they were watching. Few bad choices survive a respected witness.
Radical Acceptance
Single Model
Tara Brach
Not started
Find out what I am really longing for when I reach for a quick fix.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brach says desire is not the enemy. It is natural, and the trouble starts when we are taken over by it or at war with it. She describes the wanting self: when deeper needs for love, safety or belonging go unmet, we fix on substitutes that promise quick relief, such as food, shopping, praise or a substance. The substitute satisfies briefly, shame follows, and the wanting grows. Her practice is to pause when craving arises, feel the raw wanting in the body without acting or judging, and ask what we are really longing for. Likely to trip me up: Brach says most of us swing between indulging a craving and hating ourselves for having it, and that both keep it going. Note: a Buddhist teaching told through case stories. The method is close to urge surfing, a technique with research support for addictive habits. People with a dependence need professional help as well. (Source: Radical Acceptance, Ch. 6.)
Wanting Is Not Liking (The Molecule of More, Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long): the craving promises more than it delivers. You Cannot Numb Selectively (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): what we use to dull pain also dulls joy.
Habits & Behavior Change
Meet the Wanting Self
Ch. 6, Radical Acceptance of Desire: Awakening to the Source of Longing. Starts on p. 128 (Bantam, 2003).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Quit smoking / vaping; Cut phone / social-media use; Reduce debt / control spending
19; 10; 06; 22
Plan: When a craving hits, I will pause, feel where it sits in my body, and ask 'what do I really want?' I will wait for the answer under the first answer.
craving, desire, wanting, longing, substitute, comfort eating, shopping, addiction, shame, unmet needs, urge surfing, body, pause, belonging, love, relief, compulsion, mindfulness, smoking, real need
You give in to the craving, then hate yourself for it, then crave again to escape the self-hate. You never look at what is underneath.
At the next craving, stop for one minute. Feel where it sits in your body. Ask: 'What do I really want right now?' Wait for a second answer.
Cravings often stand in for deeper needs like love, rest or belonging. Do not feed or fight the craving. Feel it, and ask what it is for.
Letters from a Stoic
Single Model
Seneca (trans. Robin Campbell)
Not started
Think through the bad cases once, calmly, so they do not ambush me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Seneca writes after a fire destroyed the city of Lyons in a single night. His friend was shattered, since nothing like it had seemed possible. Seneca says what is unexpected hits hardest, so we should send the mind ahead to meet everything that could happen, not only what usually happens: loss of wealth, exile, illness, disaster. Whatever fortune can do to anyone, it can do to us. Rehearsed in advance, a blow lands more softly, and we also see that cities and people rise again after ruin. Likely to trip me up: Seneca's exercise is a deliberate, bounded rehearsal. Done without limits, picturing disaster is simply worry. Note: moral letters written around AD 65. Modern psychology finds that planning for setbacks helps, and also that dwelling on worst cases feeds anxiety, so the practice should be brief and end in a plan. (Source: Letters from a Stoic, Letter XCI.)
Backcasting and the Premortem (Thinking in Bets, Annie Duke): imagine the failure, then plan against it. Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): build a buffer for what you cannot foresee.
Decision-Making & Risk
Rehearse Misfortune
Letter XCI (On the lesson to be drawn from the burning of Lyons). Page not verified (Penguin Classics, 1969).
Manage stress / anxiety; Build emergency fund / invest; Stop overthinking / rumination
12; 20; 15
Plan: Once a month I will take one thing I rely on, picture losing it, and write what I would do in the first day, week and month. Then I will put the page away.
negative visualisation, premeditatio malorum, worst case, preparation, disaster, loss, shock, resilience, stoicism, fire, fortune, surprise, planning, emergency, anxiety, acceptance, impermanence, rehearsal, setback, calm
You assume tomorrow will look like today. When the illness, the job loss or the breakage comes, the shock doubles the damage.
Take one thing you rely on: your income, your health, a person. Spend five minutes writing what you would do in the first week without it.
What you never imagined hits hardest. Picture, calmly and ahead of time, what could go wrong. A blow you have rehearsed lands more softly.
The Molecule of More
Single Model
Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long
Not started
Notice which system is running me: the one that wants more, or the one that enjoys what is here.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors divide the world into what is within arm's reach, which you look down to see, and what is beyond it, which you look up to see. Things in reach are enjoyed through what they call here-and-now chemicals, such as serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins. Things out of reach are pursued through dopamine, which is about possibility and anticipation, not enjoyment. They call dopamine the molecule of more, since it responds to what you could have and loses interest once you have it. Likely to trip me up: the authors say the wanting system cannot be satisfied by getting, only switched off for a while. Note: popular neuroscience by a psychiatrist and a writer. Dopamine does many things in the brain, and tying whole areas of life to one chemical is a simplification. (Source: The Molecule of More, Introduction.)
The Fulfillment Curve (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): the point past which more adds nothing. Never Enough (Daring Greatly, Brené Brown): the same restlessness seen as culture.
Mindset & Emotions
Up and Down
Introduction, Up Versus Down. Page not verified (BenBella Books, 2018).
Improve mental health / be happier; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Cut phone / social-media use
04; 26; 06
Plan: When I feel restless after getting something I wanted, I will name it as the wanting system, and then spend five minutes on something in front of me: food, a person, a walk.
dopamine, wanting, more, desire, restless, satisfaction, here and now, future, anticipation, enough, craving, novelty, goals, achievement, empty, scrolling, shopping, present, contentment, brain
You get the thing you wanted and feel flat within days. You assume you chose the wrong thing, and start wanting the next one.
Think of something you wanted badly and now own. Spend five minutes actually using and enjoying it, with your phone in another room.
One brain system enjoys what you have now. Another, driven by dopamine, wants what you do not have. The second never says 'enough'.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Single Model
Susan Jeffers
Not started
Catch the phrases that make me sound, and feel, helpless.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Jeffers says the issue is not the fear but how we hold it: from a position of pain, which is helplessness and paralysis, or from a position of power, which is choice and action. She says the words we use move us along that line. Her swaps include: 'I can't' becomes 'I won't', 'I should' becomes 'I could', 'it's a problem' becomes 'it's an opportunity', and 'if only' becomes 'next time'. 'I can't come to dinner' hides a choice. 'I won't come, since I have chosen to prepare for tomorrow' owns it. Likely to trip me up: Jeffers says helpless language is a habit, and also a comfort, since it lets us off the hook. Note: her own method. It fits the cognitive therapy view that 'should' statements feed guilt and resentment. (Source: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Ch. 3.)
Fault Is Not Responsibility (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson): own the next move. The Ten Cognitive Distortions (Feeling Good, David Burns): 'should' statements are on the list.
Mindset & Emotions
Pain-to-Power Vocabulary
Ch. 3, From Pain to Power. Page not verified (Ballantine Books, 20th anniversary edition, 2007).
Improve mental health / be happier; Improve relationships / communicate; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
04; 25; 27
Plan: For one week I will note each time I say 'I can't', 'I should' or 'if only', and restate it as 'I won't', 'I could' or 'next time'.
language, self-talk, i can't, should, words, power, helpless, victim, choice, responsibility, vocabulary, reframe, excuses, if only, opportunity, ownership, habit, speech, confidence, mindset
Your everyday speech is full of 'I can't', 'I have to' and 'it's not my fault'. Each one tells your own mind that you have no say.
Catch yourself saying 'I can't' once today. Say the sentence again with 'I won't' or 'I choose not to'. Notice how it feels.
The words you use place you as helpless or as choosing. Swap 'I can't' for 'I won't', 'I should' for 'I could', 'if only' for 'next time'.
The Power of Now
Single Model
Eckhart Tolle
Not started
Use the feeling of my own body as a quick way back to the present.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tolle teaches feeling the body from inside. Close your eyes, put your attention in your hands, and ask if you can feel the aliveness there, then in the feet, arms, legs and the whole body at once. He says attention placed in the body is attention taken away from compulsive thinking, so the body works as an anchor in the present. He suggests keeping some attention there during ordinary activity, especially while listening to someone or waiting, and scanning the body before sleep and on waking. Likely to trip me up: Tolle says attention slides back to thought within seconds, and that the practice is simply returning. Note: Tolle's explanation is spiritual and cannot be tested. The exercise itself is very close to the body scan used in mindfulness courses, which has research support for stress. (Source: The Power of Now, Ch. 6.)
Slow Your Breath to Slow Your Body (Breath, James Nestor): another bodily route to calm. Name the Feeling (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): find where in the body the feeling sits.
Mindset & Emotions
Anchor in the Inner Body
Ch. 6, The Inner Body. Page not verified (New World Library, 1999).
Meditate / mindfulness; Manage stress / anxiety; Sleep better
21; 12; 05
Plan: While waiting, listening or walking I will keep part of my attention on the feeling in my hands and feet. In bed, before sleep, I will move my attention slowly through the body.
body, body scan, presence, anchor, attention, hands, feet, mindfulness, grounding, stress, sleep, listening, waiting, sensation, awareness, calm, meditation, embodiment, relax, now
You try to 'be present' by thinking about being present. You need something to hold on to that is not another thought.
Close your eyes for one minute and feel your hands from the inside. Then try holding a little of that while you talk to someone.
Put part of your attention inside your body: the feeling in your hands, feet, chest. Attention held there cannot also be lost in thought.
Radical Acceptance
Single Model
Tara Brach
Not started
Meet hard moments with two questions: what is happening, and can I be kind to it?
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brach defines radical acceptance as clearly recognising what is happening inside us and regarding it with an open, kind heart. She calls these the two wings of a bird: mindfulness, which sees what is true, and compassion, which holds it with care. With only seeing, we tend to notice our pain and judge it. With only kindness, we may comfort ourselves without seeing clearly. She stresses that acceptance is about our inner experience in this moment. It is not approval of harmful behaviour and not passivity. Likely to trip me up: Brach says many people fear that if they accept themselves they will stop trying to improve. Note: Buddhist teaching from a psychologist. Separate research on mindfulness and on self-compassion supports both parts. (Source: Radical Acceptance, Ch. 2.)
Healthy Striving, Not Perfectionism (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): self-compassion as the remedy for perfectionism. Three Ways to Retrain the Elephant (The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt): meditation is one of the three.
Mindset & Emotions
The Two Wings: Seeing Clearly and Compassion
Ch. 2, Awakening from the Trance: The Path of Radical Acceptance. Starts on p. 24 (Bantam, 2003).
Meditate / mindfulness; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop overthinking / rumination
21; 04; 15
Plan: When I am upset I will first name what I notice in body and mind, and then put a hand on my chest and say something kind, as I would to a friend.
acceptance, mindfulness, compassion, self-kindness, awareness, two wings, judgement, feelings, clear seeing, self-compassion, meditation, inner experience, not passivity, kindness, pain, presence, healing, balance, buddhism, practice
You notice your feelings and then attack yourself for having them. Or you soothe yourself without ever looking at what is going on.
Next time you are upset, ask two questions in order: 'What is happening inside me right now?' and 'Can I be kind to this?'
Acceptance needs two wings. One is seeing clearly what you feel right now. The other is meeting it with kindness. One wing alone cannot fly.
Radical Acceptance
Single Model
Tara Brach
Not started
Spot the background belief that I am not enough, so it stops running my choices unseen.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brach says many people live with a constant background sense that something is wrong with them. She calls it a trance, since it is so familiar that it goes unnoticed. It shows up as strategies: endless self-improvement projects, playing safe, withdrawing, staying busy, criticising ourselves first, and judging others. She says the strategies reinforce the belief. The first step out is simply to recognise the trance when it is operating. Likely to trip me up: Brach says the feeling of unworthiness seems like the truth about us, not like a belief, which is what makes it a trance. Note: Buddhist teaching from a clinical psychologist and meditation teacher, told through stories from her clients and her own life. It is not research, though it fits studies on shame and self-criticism. (Source: Radical Acceptance, Ch. 1.)
Never Enough (Daring Greatly, Brené Brown): the same belief seen as culture. Shame vs Guilt (Daring Greatly, Brené Brown): 'I am bad' versus 'I did something bad'.
Mindset & Emotions
The Trance of Unworthiness
Ch. 1, The Trance of Unworthiness. Starts on p. 5 (Bantam, 2003).
Improve mental health / be happier; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Stop comparing / social-media envy
04; 27; 26
Plan: For one week I will note each time I hide, overwork, compare or criticise myself, and ask: what would I do here if I did not think something was wrong with me?
unworthiness, not enough, self-criticism, shame, inadequacy, self-improvement, hiding, busy, comparison, self-judgement, trance, belief, worth, approval, insecurity, acceptance, inner critic, flawed, belonging, awareness
You are always fixing yourself, hiding yourself or proving yourself. You have never asked where the idea that you are faulty came from.
Finish this sentence five times, fast: 'Something is wrong with me because...' Read the list back as beliefs, not facts.
Many of us live inside an unexamined belief that something is wrong with us. It works like a trance. Seeing it as one is the first step out.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Single Model
Susan Jeffers
Not started
Make big decisions without the fear that one wrong step ruins everything.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Jeffers says we freeze at decisions because we use a no-win model: one path is right, one is wrong, and we will torment ourselves either way. Her no-lose model says each path holds opportunities to learn and grow, whatever the result. Before deciding she advises: focus on that model, do your homework, set your priorities, trust your impulses and lighten up. After deciding: throw away your picture of how it should go, accept full responsibility, do not protect the decision, and correct your course, as a pilot does, off track most of the way and still arriving. Likely to trip me up: Jeffers says we demand a guarantee before acting, and there is none. Note: a reframe, not a research finding. Some choices do carry real and lasting costs, and doing the homework still matters. (Source: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Ch. 7.)
Maximizers and Satisficers (The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz): the hunt for the one right option makes people miserable. Resulting (Thinking in Bets, Annie Duke): a bad outcome does not prove a bad decision.
Decision-Making & Risk
The No-Lose Decision
Ch. 7, How to Make a No-Lose Decision. Page not verified (Ballantine Books, 20th anniversary edition, 2007).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Stop overthinking / rumination
27; 15
Plan: For a pending decision I will list what I would gain and learn on each path. After I choose, I will drop my picture of how it must turn out, and adjust as I go.
decisions, indecision, paralysis, right choice, wrong choice, regret, career, options, overthinking, trust, course correction, mistakes, opportunity, fear, commitment, uncertainty, guarantees, crossroads, learning, choosing
You stall for months on a decision, sure that one option is right and one is a disaster, and that you will pick the disaster.
Take a decision you are stuck on. Under each option, list what you would gain or learn, even if it 'goes wrong'.
Stop asking which choice is 'right'. Each path holds something to gain and learn. Then no choice can be wrong, and you can adjust as you go.
The Power of Now
Single Model
Eckhart Tolle
Not started
Plan when I need to, and stop living in next month or last year.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tolle separates clock time from psychological time. Clock time is practical: setting a goal, keeping an appointment, learning from a past mistake. You use it and come back to the present. Psychological time is dwelling: replaying the past for identity and grievance, and projecting into the future for salvation or dread. He says nearly all anxiety lives in an imagined future and nearly all guilt and resentment in the past. His test question is: what problem do you have right now, at this moment? Usually there is a situation to handle or accept, and no problem as such. Likely to trip me up: Tolle says the mind resists the present, since it draws its sense of self from past and future. Note: a spiritual teaching, not research. Present-focused attention is, however, a core part of well-supported mindfulness therapies. (Source: The Power of Now, Ch. 3.)
Open Loops (Capture Everything) (Getting Things Done, David Allen): put the plan on paper, then let it go. Circle of Concern, Circle of Influence (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): act on what you can act on now.
Mindset & Emotions
Clock Time and Psychological Time
Ch. 3, Moving Deeply into the Now. Page not verified (New World Library, 1999).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination
12; 15
Plan: I will give planning and reviewing a set slot each day. Outside it, when I catch myself in the past or the future, I will ask what problem I have at this exact moment.
present moment, anxiety, future, past, regret, planning, worry, time, now, rumination, guilt, resentment, problems, clock time, mindfulness, dread, goals, stress, attention, acceptance
Your body is at dinner. Your mind is in Thursday's meeting, or in an argument from last year. You call this 'thinking things through'.
Next time you feel anxious, ask: 'What problem do I have right now, this minute?' Deal with that one, or notice there is none.
Use time for practical things: plans, meetings, lessons. Do not live there. Worry is life in an imagined future, regret life in the past.
Letters from a Stoic
Single Model
Seneca (trans. Robin Campbell)
Not started
Lose my fear of having less by trying it for a few days.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Seneca advises setting aside a few days now and then to live on the scantiest and cheapest food and wear rough clothes, while asking yourself: is this the condition that I feared? He says soldiers practise in peacetime so they are ready for war, and we should rehearse hardship while things are going well. His claim is that the mind finds poverty far easier than it imagined, and that a person who knows this can enjoy wealth without anxiety, since it is no longer needed. Likely to trip me up: Seneca warns that it must be a real test, not a game for bored rich people. Note: moral letters written around AD 65. Seneca was one of the richest men in Rome, and critics then and since have held that against his praise of simple living. (Source: Letters from a Stoic, Letter XVIII.)
Callous Your Mind (Can't Hurt Me, David Goggins): chosen discomfort as training. The Fulfillment Curve (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): find how little you need.
Decision-Making & Risk
Practise Poverty
Letter XVIII (On festivals and fasting). Page not verified (Penguin Classics, 1969).
Save money / spend less; Manage stress / anxiety; Reduce debt / control spending
03; 12; 22
Plan: Once a quarter I will live for three days on the plainest food and no spending beyond essentials, and write down how bad it actually was.
poverty, voluntary discomfort, fear, money, frugality, fasting, simple living, rehearsal, loss, security, spending, anxiety, stoicism, minimalism, test, resilience, enough, comfort, worst case, freedom
Fear of losing your income or comforts decides what you dare to do. You have never tested how bad 'less' really is.
Pick one comfort you think you need. Go without it for three days. Write down how it actually felt.
Now and then, live for a few days on very little: plain food, rough clothes. Ask: 'Is this what I feared?' The fear of loss loses its grip.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Single Model
Susan Jeffers
Not started
Work on my trust that I can handle things, not on removing every risk.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Jeffers sorts fear into three levels. Level one is the surface story: things that happen, such as ageing or losing a job, and things that need action, such as public speaking or ending a relationship. Level two is about inner states: fear of rejection, failure, disapproval, helplessness. Level three, under all of it, is one sentence: 'I can't handle it.' She says that if you knew you could handle anything that came your way, you would have little left to fear, so the real work is building trust in yourself, not controlling the world. Likely to trip me up: Jeffers says we try to feel safe by controlling what happens, which cannot be done. Note: a self-help classic from 1987 by a psychologist, built on her teaching and her own life, not on trials. (Source: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Ch. 1.)
The Cookie Jar (Can't Hurt Me, David Goggins): keep proof that you have handled hard things. Practise Poverty (Letters from a Stoic, Seneca): try the feared thing and find that you can bear it.
Mindset & Emotions
Every Fear Is 'I Can't Handle It'
Ch. 1, What Are You Afraid Of... and Why? Page not verified (Ballantine Books, 20th anniversary edition, 2007).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety
27; 12
Plan: When I am afraid of something, I will finish the sentence 'if that happened, I would handle it by...' and write at least three steps.
fear, anxiety, handle it, self-trust, confidence, rejection, failure, control, worry, what if, coping, security, change, loss, courage, levels of fear, helplessness, resilience, risk, reassurance
You try to feel safe by controlling everything that might go wrong. There is always one more thing, so you never feel safe.
Name your biggest current fear. Write: 'If that happened, I would handle it by...' and list three things you would do.
Under every fear, of rejection, failure, illness or loss, sits one belief: 'I can't handle it.' Build trust that you can, and fears shrink.
The Power of Now
Single Model
Eckhart Tolle
Not started
Accept what has already happened, and then act, without spending energy on 'this should not be'.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tolle says surrender is widely misread as giving up. He defines it as yielding to the present moment, not to the life situation. His example: if you are stuck in mud, you do not tell yourself you are fine with being stuck. You accept, without inner resistance or complaint, that right now you are stuck, and then you do all you can to get out. He says action that comes from acceptance is more effective than action that comes from anger or despair. Likely to trip me up: Tolle says the mind equates acceptance with weakness and keeps the fight going. Note: a spiritual teaching. The same distinction between accepting a feeling or fact and approving of it is central to well-researched acceptance-based therapies. (Source: The Power of Now, Ch. 10.)
The Struggle Switch (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): drop the fight with what is already here. The Soft Zone (The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin): work with conditions as they are.
Mindset & Emotions
Surrender Is Not Resignation
Ch. 10, The Meaning of Surrender. Page not verified (New World Library, 1999).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 04
Plan: When something goes wrong I will say 'this is how it is right now', take three breaths, and only then decide what to do.
acceptance, surrender, resistance, resignation, action, reality, stuck, anger, letting go, what is, struggle, present, complaint, peace, response, setback, control, calm, giving up, change
Something goes wrong and you burn an hour on 'this should not be happening'. It is happening. The hour is gone and nothing is fixed.
At the next setback, say once: 'This is how it is right now.' Breathe. Then ask: 'What can I do from here?'
Surrender means accepting this moment as it is, without inner resistance. It does not mean giving up. You accept first, then you act.
The Molecule of More
Single Model
Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long
Not started
Stop trusting a craving as a forecast of pleasure.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors describe a desire circuit driven by dopamine that produces wanting, and say it is separate from the brain systems that produce liking, the actual enjoyment. In addiction the two come apart: the drug boosts wanting more and more while the pleasure shrinks, so people crave what they no longer enjoy. Cues linked with the habit, such as a place, a time or a feeling, set off the wanting by themselves. Likely to trip me up: the authors say the desire circuit makes a promise it has no duty to keep, and the promise always feels true in the moment. Note: the wanting and liking distinction comes from well-regarded research by Kent Berridge and colleagues. Anyone dependent on a substance should get medical help. (Source: The Molecule of More, Ch. 2.)
The Habit Loop (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): the cue is what starts the wanting. Meet the Wanting Self (Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach): stay with the craving and look at it.
Habits & Behavior Change
Wanting Is Not Liking
Ch. 2, Drugs. Page not verified (BenBella Books, 2018).
Quit smoking / vaping; Drink less alcohol; Cut phone / social-media use; Cut junk food / emotional eating
10; 11; 06; 19
Plan: Before I give in to a craving I will predict out of ten how good it will feel. Afterwards I will rate how good it actually was, and keep the two numbers side by side.
craving, wanting, liking, addiction, dopamine, cues, smoking, alcohol, scrolling, junk food, desire, pleasure, urge, disappointment, triggers, compulsion, relapse, promise, enjoyment, habit
The urge for the cigarette, the drink or the feed is huge. The thing itself is barely pleasant. You keep obeying the urge anyway.
At your next craving, write down how good you expect it to feel, out of ten. Afterwards, write how good it was. Compare.
The brain circuit that makes you want a thing is separate from the one that enjoys it. A strong craving promises pleasure it may not give.
The Power of Now
Single Model
Eckhart Tolle
Not started
Replace complaining with one of three clear choices.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tolle says that if you find your situation intolerable you have three options: remove yourself from it, change it, or accept it completely. Anything else, he says, is madness: staying and resenting pollutes you and the people around you. He treats complaining as a form of non-acceptance that casts you as a victim. If you take one of the three, he says, take it fully, and drop the negativity: speaking up to change something is not complaining. Likely to trip me up: Tolle says the mind prefers a fourth option, to stay and resist, since a grievance gives it something to be. Note: a spiritual teacher's rule of thumb. It is close to the old Serenity Prayer and to the Stoic focus on what is in your power. (Source: The Power of Now, Ch. 4.)
Fault Is Not Responsibility (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson): whoever caused it, the next move is yours. The Last of the Human Freedoms (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): when nothing else can change, your stance can.
Decision-Making & Risk
Leave, Change or Accept
Ch. 4, Mind Strategies for Avoiding the Now, section 'Wherever You Are, Be There Totally'. Page not verified (New World Library, 1999).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier; Improve relationships / communicate
12; 04; 25
Plan: When I catch myself complaining, I will ask which of the three I am choosing: leave, change it, or accept it. I will say the choice out loud and act on it.
complaining, acceptance, change, leave, options, resentment, victim, situation, job, relationship, stress, choices, stuck, negativity, action, surrender, responsibility, decisions, grievance, peace
You have complained about the same job, flat or person for two years. You have not left, changed anything, or made peace with it.
Take your most frequent complaint. Write the three options under it. Pick one, and take the first step today.
In any situation you dislike, you have three sane options: leave it, change it or accept it fully. Staying and resenting is not one of them.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Single Model
Susan Jeffers
Not started
Build a life with many sources of meaning, so that losing one does not flatten me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Jeffers asks readers to draw a grid of nine boxes and label them with the parts of a full life, such as contribution, hobby, leisure, family, time alone, personal growth, work, relationship and friends. She says many people's grid is really one box, usually the relationship or the job, and that this breeds neediness and terror of loss. If that one box empties, nothing is left. With a full grid, a loss hurts and does not destroy. She adds that each box should get your full commitment while you are in it. Likely to trip me up: Jeffers says that when one box is going well, or badly, it tends to swallow all the others. Note: her own exercise. It fits research showing that people with several roles and sources of identity cope better with setbacks. (Source: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Ch. 8.)
Put Your Desk in the Corner (On Writing, Stephen King): work is one part of a life. Keep a Balanced Risk Portfolio (Originals, Adam Grant): safety in one area frees you in another.
Systems & Strategy
The Whole-Life Grid
Ch. 8, How Whole Is Your 'Whole Life'? Page not verified (Ballantine Books, 20th anniversary edition, 2007).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety
14; 04; 12
Plan: I will draw the nine boxes, fill in what I have in each, and commit real time each week to the two emptiest ones.
balance, life areas, grid, identity, work, relationship, friends, hobbies, loss, breakup, redundancy, dependence, neediness, whole life, contribution, alone time, growth, resilience, diversify, meaning
Your job or your partner is your whole identity. The thought of losing it is unbearable, so fear runs the relationship.
Draw nine boxes. Label them with the parts of a full life. Write what is in each. Pick the emptiest and plan one hour for it this week.
Picture your life as a grid of nine boxes: work, family, friends, hobby and more. If one box is your whole life, its loss is total.
The Molecule of More
Single Model
Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long
Not started
Stop reading the fading of early excitement as a sign that something is wrong.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors explain that dopamine cells fire not for reward itself but for reward that is better than expected, which researchers call reward prediction error. Novelty and surprise produce it. Once something becomes reliable, the signal stops. They apply this to love: the thrilling early phase runs on dopamine and lasts roughly a year or so, and lasting love has to shift to the here-and-now chemicals of closeness and companionship. Couples who expect the thrill to continue take its fading as falling out of love. Likely to trip me up: the authors say dopamine keeps pointing at whatever is new, so the pull towards a fresh start is built in. Note: reward prediction error is solid science from animal and human studies. Mapping it on to romance is the authors' interpretation. (Source: The Molecule of More, Ch. 1.)
Good Relationships Take Work (Mindset, Carol Dweck): effort is not a bad sign. Novelty Stretches Time (Moonwalking with Einstein, Joshua Foer): new experiences register more strongly.
People & Communication
Reward Prediction Error
Ch. 1, Love. Page not verified (BenBella Books, 2018).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Improve mental health / be happier
25; 14; 04
Plan: In long relationships and long projects, I will add small surprises on purpose, and put more weight on the quieter pleasures of closeness and routine.
dopamine, novelty, surprise, love, honeymoon phase, boredom, relationships, excitement, routine, expectation, prediction error, passion, companionship, long term, new, thrill, commitment, marriage, projects, fading
The new job, partner or hobby thrilled you for a year and now feels ordinary. You conclude it was a mistake and go looking for the next thrill.
Pick one thing in your life that has gone 'flat'. List three quiet goods it still gives you. Then plan one small surprise within it.
Dopamine fires for rewards that are better than expected. Once something is reliable, the buzz stops, though the thing itself is no worse.
Letters from a Stoic
Single Model
Seneca (trans. Robin Campbell)
Not started
Read fewer things more deeply, and take one usable idea from each day's reading.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Seneca warns his friend against reading many authors and books of every kind, which he calls a sign of a restless mind. To be everywhere is to be nowhere. Food does no good if it leaves the body as soon as it is eaten, and a plant that is often moved never grows strong. His advice is to linger among a limited number of master thinkers and digest their work. His own habit: from what he reads each day, he picks out one thought to digest thoroughly. Likely to trip me up: Seneca says variety is pleasant, like tasting many dishes, which is exactly why it spoils the appetite for one. Note: moral letters from a Roman statesman, written around AD 65. Philosophy, not research. Other books in this database argue for reading widely, and both can be true at different times. (Source: Letters from a Stoic, Letter II.)
The Four Levels of Reading (How to Read a Book, Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren): how to read one book properly. Engineer Serendipity (Where Good Ideas Come From, Steven Johnson): the opposite advice, to read widely so ideas collide.
Learning & Knowledge
Linger with a Few Great Minds
Letter II (On discursiveness in reading). Page not verified (Penguin Classics, 1969).
Read / learn more; Limit multitasking / context-switching; Cut phone / social-media use
09; 28; 06
Plan: I will keep a short list of authors I return to, finish a book before starting another, and end each reading session by writing down the one thought I will carry that day.
reading, depth, focus, few books, skimming, restless, master thinkers, digest, one idea, rereading, information overload, feeds, attention, study, classics, distraction, notes, learning, slow reading, scattered
You skim ten articles, start four books and finish none. You feel informed and cannot recall a single idea a week later.
After today's reading, write down the one thought you most want to keep. Reread it tonight.
Reading a little of everything feeds nothing. Stay with a few great authors until their ideas are part of you, and take one thought a day.
The Power of Now
Single Model
Eckhart Tolle
Not started
Listen to the voice in my head as something I hear, not something I am.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tolle says the main source of suffering is identifying with the stream of thought, the voice that comments, judges, compares and worries all day. His first instruction is to watch the thinker: listen to that voice as an impartial witness, without judging what it says. He says the moment you notice the voice, you are no longer fully caught in it, and a gap of stillness opens. With practice the gaps grow. Likely to trip me up: Tolle says the mind will turn the exercise into another thing to think about and judge yourself on. Note: this is a spiritual teaching, not an empirical one. Tolle's claims about consciousness and Being cannot be tested. The exercise itself closely resembles mindfulness practices that do have research support. (Source: The Power of Now, Ch. 1.)
Defusion (Thoughts Are Just Words) (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): the therapy version of the same move. Name the Feeling (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): observing an inner event loosens its grip.
Mindset & Emotions
Watch the Thinker
Ch. 1, You Are Not Your Mind. Page not verified (New World Library, 1999).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Meditate / mindfulness; Manage stress / anxiety
15; 21; 12
Plan: A few times a day I will stop and listen to my thoughts for one minute, as if overhearing a stranger, without arguing or agreeing.
thoughts, overthinking, inner voice, observer, mindfulness, presence, mind chatter, identification, awareness, witness, stillness, worry, judgement, meditation, now, ego, rumination, watching, calm, detachment
A voice in your head narrates, criticises and worries all day. You have never once doubted that the voice is you.
Set a timer for one minute. Listen to your thoughts as if they were a radio in the next room. Do not argue with them.
You are not the voice in your head. Listen to it as a witness, without judging. The moment you notice it, you are no longer lost in it.
The Molecule of More
Single Model
Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long
Not started
Answer an urge with a plan, not with a fight.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors describe two dopamine pathways. The desire circuit says 'I want that now'. The control circuit, which runs to the front of the brain, handles planning, calculation and persistence towards things that are far off. Both are about the future, and they often pull against each other. The authors say the control circuit is what lets people turn wanting into a plan, and that it can be strengthened by making goals concrete and breaking them into steps. For addiction they point to methods that recruit it, such as therapy that builds coping plans, alongside the support of other people. Likely to trip me up: the authors say raw willpower tires and fails against a strong urge. Note: the book treats willpower as a fuel that runs down, an idea that has largely failed to replicate. The two-pathway picture is a simplification of real anatomy. (Source: The Molecule of More, Ch. 2 and Ch. 3.)
The Rider and the Elephant (The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt): another picture of planner versus impulse. Script the Critical Moves (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): decide the exact behaviour in advance.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Desire Circuit and the Control Circuit
Ch. 3, Domination. Introduced in Ch. 2, Drugs. Page not verified (BenBella Books, 2018).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Cut junk food / emotional eating
07; 13; 19
Plan: For each temptation I face often, I will write a specific plan in advance: what I will do in its place, and what longer goal it serves. I will lean on people and routines, not on gritting my teeth.
dopamine, planning, self-control, willpower, desire, impulse, goals, prefrontal, persistence, strategy, temptation, urges, long term, focus, discipline, addiction, coping plan, future, steps, control
You meet every urge with bare willpower. It works in the morning and fails at night, and you have no plan for when it fails.
Pick one regular temptation. Write: 'When I feel X, I will do Y, because I am working towards Z.' Keep it where you will see it.
One dopamine circuit shouts 'I want it now'. Another plans and persists towards far goals. Beat an urge by giving the planner a clear job.
Radical Acceptance
Single Model
Tara Brach
Not started
Greet my difficult feelings by name, and stop treating each one as an emergency.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brach retells a Buddhist story. After the Buddha's awakening, the demon Mara, who stands for fear, craving and doubt, kept coming back. The Buddha did not drive him off or ignore him. He said 'I see you, Mara', invited him in, and served him tea as an honoured guest. Mara would stay a while and go. Brach says we can treat our own difficult feelings the same way: name them, say yes to their presence, and offer a kind of friendliness. She teaches a simple practice of silently noting what is there: 'fear', 'wanting', 'judging'. Likely to trip me up: Brach says that saying yes does not mean liking the feeling or acting on it, and that people mix these up. Note: a traditional story used as teaching. Naming feelings without fighting them is central to acceptance-based therapies that have research support. (Source: Radical Acceptance, Ch. 4.)
Fear Rides in the Back Seat (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): fear gets a seat and no say. Defusion (Thoughts Are Just Words) (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): give the thought a name and let it be.
Mindset & Emotions
Invite Mara to Tea
Ch. 4, Unconditional Friendliness: The Spirit of Radical Acceptance. Starts on p. 73 (Bantam, 2003).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety; Meditate / mindfulness
15; 12; 21
Plan: When fear, shame or anger shows up, I will say silently 'I see you', name it, and let it be there while I carry on.
mara, difficult emotions, acceptance, naming, fear, shame, anger, welcome, resistance, friendliness, i see you, noting, mindfulness, inner demons, visitors, saying yes, anxiety, guest, letting be, buddhism
Fear or shame shows up and you either wrestle it or do what it says. Either way it stays in charge.
Next time an unwelcome feeling arrives, say silently: 'I see you, fear' (or shame, or anger). Let it sit there while you carry on.
When a difficult feeling arrives, do not fight it or obey it. Name it: 'I see you.' Let it sit with you like a guest. Guests leave.
Radical Acceptance
Single Model
Tara Brach
Not started
Put one breath of space between the urge and the act.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brach describes the pause as a suspension of activity: you stop moving towards any goal and simply notice what you are feeling. She says we spend our lives leaning forward, reaching for the next thing or running from discomfort, and that the habits we regret happen in that forward lean. Pausing breaks the chain for a moment, and in that moment a choice appears that was not there before. She tells of a test pilot who survived a plane going out of control only when he stopped fighting the controls. Likely to trip me up: Brach says pausing means feeling the very thing we were about to escape, which is why we skip it. Note: a teaching told through stories. A brief pause before acting on an urge is also a standard part of research-backed methods for cravings. (Source: Radical Acceptance, Ch. 3.)
The Emotional Hijack (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): the first seconds are not you at your best. Embrace Boredom (Deep Work, Cal Newport): do not fill every gap.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Sacred Pause
Ch. 3, The Sacred Pause: Resting Under the Bodhi Tree. Starts on p. 49 (Bantam, 2003).
Cut phone / social-media use; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Manage stress / anxiety; Improve relationships / communicate
06; 19; 12; 25
Plan: I will pick three daily moments to pause: before I unlock my phone, before I eat, and before I reply when annoyed. In each I will stop, breathe, and feel what is there.
pause, urge, impulse, reaction, phone, snacking, anger, stop, breathe, space, choice, autopilot, craving, mindfulness, reply, habits, discomfort, escape, awareness, response
Urge and action are welded together. The phone is unlocked, the snack is eaten, the sharp reply is sent, all before you noticed deciding.
Choose one trigger today, such as picking up your phone. Each time, pause for three breaths first and notice what you are feeling.
Before you react, reach or reply, stop. Do nothing for a few breaths and feel what is there. The pause is where choice comes back.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Single Model
Susan Jeffers
Not started
Stop treating fear as a stop sign, and treat it as a sign that I am growing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Jeffers gives five truths. The fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it. The only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and do it. Everyone else feels fear on unfamiliar ground too. And pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying dread that comes from feeling helpless. She says she spent years waiting for the fear to leave before acting, and that confidence comes after the doing, not before. Likely to trip me up: Jeffers says we assume confident people feel no fear, so we read our own fear as a sign we are not ready. Note: her experience and teaching, not trials. The second truth matches the principle behind exposure therapy, which is one of the best-supported treatments for anxiety. (Source: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Ch. 2.)
Fear Rides in the Back Seat (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): fear comes along and does not drive. Callous Your Mind (Can't Hurt Me, David Goggins): regular small doses of the hard thing.
Mindset & Emotions
The Five Truths About Fear
Ch. 2, Can't You Make It Go Away? Page not verified (Ballantine Books, 20th anniversary edition, 2007).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 12; 17
Plan: Each week I will do one small thing that scares me a little. I will note how afraid I was before, and how I felt an hour after.
fear, courage, comfort zone, growth, waiting, confidence, action, exposure, anxiety, avoidance, helplessness, new things, everyone, ready, risk, nerves, practice, self-esteem, doing, truths
You are waiting for the fear to go away before you act. It will not, so you wait for years.
Pick one thing you have put off out of fear. Do the smallest real version of it today, while still afraid.
Fear never leaves while you are growing. Everyone feels it. The only cure for fear of a thing is doing it, and doing hurts less than dread.
Emotional Intelligence
Single Model
Daniel Goleman
Not started
Raise problems at home as specific complaints, and call a break when either of us is flooded.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Goleman draws on John Gottman's studies of married couples. A complaint names a specific action and how it made you feel. A criticism uses the action to attack the person's character, and it invites defence or contempt, which Gottman found to be the most corrosive sign of all. Goleman also describes flooding: once the heart rate jumps during an argument, people can no longer hear or think clearly, and they stonewall or lash out. The advice is to take a break of about twenty minutes to calm down, then return. Likely to trip me up: Goleman says that in a flooded state everything the partner says sounds like an attack, so the break has to be agreed in advance. Note: Gottman's observations are widely used. His claims to predict divorce with very high accuracy have been criticised on statistical grounds. (Source: Emotional Intelligence, Ch. 9.)
Observe Without Evaluating (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): describe the act, not the person. Good Relationships Take Work (Mindset, Carol Dweck): a problem is not a verdict on the relationship.
People & Communication
Complain, Do Not Criticise
Ch. 9, Intimate Enemies. Page not verified (Bantam Books, 1995).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: I will phrase grievances as 'when you did X, I felt Y'. We will agree a signal for a twenty-minute break when an argument overheats, and always come back to finish it.
marriage, couples, arguments, criticism, complaint, contempt, flooding, stonewalling, time out, partner, conflict, communication, defensiveness, relationship, fights, calm down, specific, blame, repair, listening
You are upset about one thing and it comes out as 'you always' and 'you never'. Your partner defends their character, and the one thing never gets fixed.
Take one grievance. Write it as: 'When you did X, I felt Y, and I would like Z.' Remove every 'always', 'never' and description of their character.
A complaint is about one act: 'you did not call'. A criticism is about the person: 'you are selfish'. One can be fixed. The other wounds.
The Happiness Hypothesis
Single Model
Jonathan Haidt
Not started
Use writing to make sense of hard events, so they stop circling in my head.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Haidt reviews research on growth after adversity and says the people who benefit are those who make sense of what happened. He describes James Pennebaker's studies, in which people wrote about their most upsetting experience for fifteen minutes a day over several days. Those whose writing moved from raw feeling towards understanding showed better health in the following year. Haidt's instructions: write continuously, do not edit, and by the end try to say why it happened and what you can draw from it. Likely to trip me up: Haidt says venting alone does not help. The benefit comes from building a story that makes sense, which is the hard part. Note: later reviews of expressive writing find real but small effects. The idea that trauma reliably leads to growth is contested, and serious trauma calls for professional help. (Source: The Happiness Hypothesis, Ch. 7.)
The Triple-Column Technique (Feeling Good, David Burns): writing thoughts down lets you examine them. Open Loops (Capture Everything) (Getting Things Done, David Allen): what is on paper stops circling in the head.
Mindset & Emotions
Write to Make Sense of It
Ch. 7, The Uses of Adversity. Starts on p. 135 (Basic Books, 2006).
Journal / self-reflect; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop overthinking / rumination
24; 04; 15
Plan: After a hard event I will write about it for fifteen minutes a day for four days. On the last day I will answer two questions: why did this happen, and what good can I take from it?
journaling, writing, adversity, trauma, sense-making, expressive writing, growth, setback, loss, grief, reflection, story, meaning, rumination, health, resilience, diary, processing, hard times, understanding
A painful event keeps replaying in your head. You never sit down and work out what it means, so it never settles.
Set a timer for fifteen minutes. Write without stopping about something that still troubles you. End with: 'What I can take from this is...'
After a hard event, write about it for fifteen minutes a day for a few days. The benefit comes from making sense of it, not from venting.
Can't Hurt Me
Single Model
David Goggins
Not started
Have proof of my own past strength ready for the moments I doubt it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Goggins describes running a hundred-mile race with almost no training. When his body was failing, he thought back through his earlier wins, such as losing a great deal of weight and passing brutal training. He names the technique after the cookie jar his mother kept filled when he was a child. His sixth challenge is to write down all your past obstacles overcome and victories, small ones included, and draw on them when you need fuel. Likely to trip me up: Goggins says the list has to be made before the hard moment. In the moment, the mind only offers reasons to stop. Note: a memoir, motivational and not scientific. (Source: Can't Hurt Me, Ch. 6.)
Emotions Create Habits (Celebrate at Once) (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): feeling success wires the behaviour in. Building Your Trigger (The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin): a prepared cue that brings on a good state.
Mindset & Emotions
The Cookie Jar
Ch. 6, It's Not About a Trophy (Challenge #6). Page not verified (Lioncrest, 2018).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety; Journal / self-reflect
27; 12; 24
Plan: I will write a list of hard things I have got through, with a line on how each felt in the middle. I will keep it on my phone and read it when I want to quit.
confidence, past wins, self-doubt, motivation, quitting, list, memory, resilience, victories, hard moments, fuel, evidence, self-belief, journal, setback, race, endurance, reminder, courage, gratitude
In a hard moment your mind tells you that you have never done anything difficult. You believe it, and stop.
Write down ten hard things you have got through, big or small. Keep the list where you can reach it fast.
Keep a mental jar of past victories and hard things you survived. When you want to quit, reach in and remind yourself what you have done.
Can't Hurt Me
Single Model
David Goggins
Not started
Find out that my first 'I am done' is early, by going a little past it, safely.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Goggins says the mind has a governor, like the one that limits a car's speed. It tells you to stop long before the body must. His slogan is that when you think you are done, you are only at forty percent. His seventh challenge is modest: when you hit your limit, push five to ten percent further, and let the limit move over time. Likely to trip me up: Goggins himself ran on broken bones and suffered lasting damage, and he has a heart condition that was found late. Pushing through injury or a medical problem can cause real harm. Note: the forty percent figure is a slogan with no measurement behind it. Sports science does support the idea that the brain limits effort ahead of true physical failure. (Source: Can't Hurt Me, Ch. 7.)
The OK Plateau (Moonwalking with Einstein, Joshua Foer): we stop improving when we settle for good enough. Deliberate Practice (Peak, Anders Ericsson): progress lives just past the comfortable edge.
Mindset & Emotions
The 40% Rule
Ch. 7, The Most Powerful Weapon (Challenge #7). Page not verified (Lioncrest, 2018).
Exercise / move daily; Learn a skill / upskill
01; 17
Plan: In workouts and study sessions, when I first want to stop I will do five to ten percent more, then stop. I will not push through sharp pain or illness.
limits, endurance, 40 percent, governor, pushing, quitting, effort, workout, running, mental barrier, fatigue, capacity, stamina, potential, comfort, reps, persistence, toughness, safety, progress
You stop at the first wave of tiredness or boredom, every time. Your limit never moves, since you never go near it.
In today's workout or study block, note the moment you first want to stop. Do five percent more, then stop.
When your mind first says you are finished, you usually have plenty left. The early stop signal is a safety setting, not a true limit.
The Gifts of Imperfection
Single Model
Brené Brown
Not started
Keep high standards for the work while treating myself the way I would treat a friend.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brown says perfectionism is not the same as striving to be your best. Healthy striving is self-focused: how can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: what will they think? She calls it a heavy shield that we think will protect us from blame and shame, and says it leads to paralysis. Her remedy is self-compassion, using Kristin Neff's three parts: self-kindness, a sense that failure is part of being human, and mindful balance in place of over-identifying with the feeling. Likely to trip me up: Brown says many of us believe that being hard on ourselves is what keeps us performing. Note: Brown's own work is interview-based. Neff's self-compassion research is separate and has good experimental support. (Source: The Gifts of Imperfection, Guidepost #2.)
Dare to Be Average (Feeling Good, David Burns): lower the bar on purpose and watch what happens. Perfectionism Is Fear in Fancy Shoes (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): the same diagnosis from a novelist.
Mindset & Emotions
Healthy Striving, Not Perfectionism
Guidepost #2, Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism. Page not verified (Hazelden, 2010).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop overthinking / rumination
27; 04; 15
Plan: When I fall short, I will ask 'how can I improve?' and not 'what will they think?'. I will say to myself what I would say to a friend in the same spot.
perfectionism, self-compassion, shame, self-criticism, standards, striving, approval, kindness, mistakes, inner critic, paralysis, failure, common humanity, mindfulness, self-worth, blame, judgement, excellence, fear, healing
You think perfectionism is what makes you good. In fact it makes you hide, delay and punish yourself, and the work suffers.
Next time you make a mistake, write down what you would say to a good friend who did the same. Say it to yourself.
Healthy striving asks 'how can I improve?'. Perfectionism asks 'what will they think?'. The way out of perfectionism is self-compassion.
Can't Hurt Me
Single Model
David Goggins
Not started
Turn each failure into a written plan for the next attempt.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Goggins failed twice in public at a pull-up world record before he broke it. After each failure he wrote what the military calls an After Action Report. He listed first everything that went well, then, without sparing himself, what went wrong, including his own preparation and thinking. Then he wrote the fixes and put the next attempt on the calendar. Likely to trip me up: Goggins says the urge after failure is either to make excuses or to collapse. The report has to be honest about both the good and the bad. Note: a memoir. The practice itself is standard in the military, aviation and medicine. (Source: Can't Hurt Me, Ch. 10.)
Resulting (Thinking in Bets, Annie Duke): judge the decisions, not just the outcome. Dailies: Show Unfinished Work (Creativity, Inc., Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace): Pixar runs a postmortem after every film.
Learning & Knowledge
The After Action Report
Ch. 10, The Empowerment of Failure (Challenge #10). Page not verified (Lioncrest, 2018).
Journal / self-reflect; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill
24; 27; 17
Plan: Within two days of any flop I will write a one-page report: what went well, what went wrong, what I controlled, and the changes for next time. Then I will book the next attempt.
failure, review, after action report, postmortem, lessons, debrief, what went wrong, what went well, journal, retry, improvement, honesty, excuses, plan, feedback, military, setbacks, analysis, next attempt, learning
You fail, feel awful, and either blame the conditions or bury the whole thing. The same mistake is waiting for you next time.
Pick a recent failure. Write three lists: what went well, what went wrong, what to change. Put the next attempt in your calendar.
After any failure, write a plain report: what went well, what went wrong, and what you will change. Then schedule the next attempt.
The Happiness Hypothesis
Single Model
Jonathan Haidt
Not started
In any conflict, find my own share first.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Haidt says each of us has an inner lawyer whose job is to find reasons why we are right, and who is never asked to find the truth. We see the world as it is, we think, so anyone who disagrees must be biased. He calls this naive realism. We also tend to believe that people who harm us act from pure malice. His advice: in a conflict, look for one thing you did wrong, however small. When you own it, your anger softens, and the other person usually answers with an admission of their own. Likely to trip me up: Haidt says learning about bias makes us better at spotting it in others and no better at spotting it in ourselves. Note: built on well-replicated research on self-serving bias. (Source: The Happiness Hypothesis, Ch. 4.)
Soldier Mindset and Scout Mindset (The Scout Mindset, Julia Galef): reasoning as defence versus reasoning as map-making. If You're Wrong, Admit It Quickly (How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie): the same move as a rule of thumb.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Inner Lawyer
Ch. 4, The Faults of Others. Starts on p. 59 (Basic Books, 2006).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 14; 12
Plan: Before I raise a grievance, I will write down one thing I did that made the situation worse, and open the conversation by owning it.
conflict, blame, hypocrisy, bias, self-serving, arguments, apology, inner lawyer, naive realism, judging, anger, relationships, fault, fairness, moral, reconciliation, grudges, perspective, defensiveness, humility
In every argument you can list the other person's faults in detail. You cannot think of one of your own.
Think of a current conflict. Find one thing you did that made it worse, however small. Tell the other person: 'I should not have done that.'
Your mind argues your side like a lawyer, not a judge. You see others' faults clearly and miss your own. Look for your share first.
The Happiness Hypothesis
Single Model
Jonathan Haidt
Not started
Put my money and effort into the few conditions that keep mattering, not into things I will adapt to.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Haidt gives a formula from positive psychology: happiness equals your biological set point, plus the conditions of your life, plus your voluntary activities. We adapt quickly to most conditions, including more money and bigger houses, so they add little. He lists the few we do not adapt to: noise, long commutes, lack of control, shame, and the quality of our relationships. He adds that spending to be seen, such as on luxury goods, is a race nobody wins, while spending on time and shared activities lasts. Likely to trip me up: Haidt says we are poor at predicting what will make us happy, so we keep buying the wrong things. Note: the formula is a teaching device. The exact share due to each part is disputed among researchers. (Source: The Happiness Hypothesis, Ch. 5.)
The Fulfillment Curve (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): past a point, more spending adds nothing. Man in the Car Paradox (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): nobody is impressed by your things.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Happiness Formula
Ch. 5, The Pursuit of Happiness. Starts on p. 81 (Basic Books, 2006).
Improve mental health / be happier; Save money / spend less; Spend time with family/friends
04; 03; 14
Plan: I will check my big choices against Haidt's list: a shorter commute, less noise, more control over my day, and more time with people I love. I will cut spending that is mainly for show.
happiness, adaptation, hedonic treadmill, money, commute, noise, control, relationships, set point, spending, status, conditions, activities, wellbeing, house, luxury, experiences, time, life choices, formula
You chase the raise, the bigger flat, the better car. Each one feels good for a month, then feels normal, and you start again.
List your three biggest recent purchases or goals. For each, ask: will I still notice this in a year, or will I have adapted?
Happiness = your set point + your life conditions + what you choose to do. We adapt to most conditions, so work on the few that last.
The Gifts of Imperfection
Single Model
Brené Brown
Not started
Spend my time where I can be myself, and stop reshaping myself for groups where I cannot.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brown says fitting in and belonging are not the same thing, and that fitting in gets in the way of belonging. Fitting in is assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging does not ask you to change who you are. It asks you to be who you are. She says our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. Likely to trip me up: Brown says showing your real self risks rejection, which is exactly why people choose fitting in. Note: Brown's findings are themes drawn from many interviews. This is qualitative research, not experiment. (Source: The Gifts of Imperfection, 'Exploring the Power of Love, Belonging, and Being Enough'.)
Social Proof (Influence, Robert Cialdini): the pull to match the group. The Vampire Test (Show Your Work!, Austin Kleon): notice who leaves you drained.
People & Communication
Fitting In Is Not Belonging
Chapter 'Exploring the Power of Love, Belonging, and Being Enough'. Page not verified (Hazelden, 2010).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve relationships / communicate; Stop comparing / social-media envy
14; 25; 26
Plan: I will notice where I edit myself to be accepted, and try showing one honest opinion or interest there. I will invest more in the people with whom I already do not have to edit.
belonging, fitting in, acceptance, authenticity, approval, friends, groups, loneliness, mask, people pleasing, identity, self-acceptance, rejection, peer pressure, connection, community, teenagers, real self, conformity, worthiness
You read every room and become what it wants. You are accepted everywhere and known nowhere, and you still feel alone.
Think of one group where you edit yourself. Next time, share one honest opinion or interest, and see what happens.
Fitting in means changing yourself to be accepted. Belonging means being accepted as you are. The first gets in the way of the second.
Daring Greatly
Single Model
Brené Brown
Not started
Catch my 'not enough' thoughts and answer them with what is enough for today.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brown quotes the writer Lynne Twist: our first thought on waking is 'I didn't get enough sleep', the next is 'I don't have enough time', and we go to bed listing what we did not get done. Brown says scarcity thinking has three parts: shame, comparison and disengagement. She says the opposite of scarcity is not abundance. It is simply enough. Likely to trip me up: Brown says scarcity thrives on constant comparison with edited versions of other people's lives and with our own nostalgia. Note: a cultural argument built on her interview research. (Source: Daring Greatly, Ch. 1.)
Maximizers and Satisficers (The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz): good enough beats the endless hunt for best. Man in the Car Paradox (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): the audience you are comparing for is not watching.
Mindset & Emotions
Never Enough
Ch. 1, Scarcity: Looking Inside Our Culture of 'Never Enough'. Page not verified (Gotham Books, 2012).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Improve mental health / be happier; Save money / spend less
26; 04; 03
Plan: For one week I will tally each 'not enough' thought. Each morning I will write what enough sleep, work and money look like for that day.
scarcity, never enough, comparison, not good enough, time, sleep, money, shame, envy, social media, enough, busy, lack, worth, contentment, nostalgia, pressure, culture, self-esteem, gratitude
You wake up already behind and go to bed counting what you did not do. No amount of doing ever feels like enough.
Count how many times today you think or say 'not enough'. Tonight, write one sentence that begins: 'Today, enough was...'
Scarcity is the habit of measuring life by what is lacking: not enough sleep, time, money, success. Its opposite is not more. It is enough.
Can't Hurt Me
Single Model
David Goggins
Not started
Get used to discomfort in small doses, so it stops deciding what I do.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Goggins compares the mind to hands that toughen with work. His third challenge is to write down what makes you uncomfortable, especially things that are good for you, and do one of them daily. He says doing something hard every day builds what he calls a calloused mind, so that when real difficulty comes it feels familiar. Likely to trip me up: Goggins takes this to extremes, including training through serious injuries. Small, safe doses are the transferable part. Note: a memoir, motivational and not scientific. The general idea that manageable stress builds tolerance has research support, as Ratey describes for exercise. (Source: Can't Hurt Me, Ch. 3 and Ch. 5.)
Stress Is a Dose (Spark, John Ratey): manageable stress makes you stronger. Investment in Loss (The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin): choose the uncomfortable practice.
Mindset & Emotions
Callous Your Mind
Ch. 3, The Impossible Task (Challenge #3). Developed in Ch. 5, Armored Mind. Page not verified (Lioncrest, 2018).
Exercise / move daily; Manage stress / anxiety; Beat procrastination / focus
01; 12; 07
Plan: I will list things I avoid because they are uncomfortable, and do one small one each day, such as a cold finish to my shower or the task I least want to start.
discomfort, comfort zone, toughness, resilience, hard things, cold shower, discipline, avoidance, daily challenge, mental strength, callous, stress, willpower, habit, courage, pain, training, grit, exposure, growth
You arrange your life to avoid all discomfort. Then one hard day arrives and you have no practice at it.
Write down three things you avoid because they are uncomfortable but good for you. Do the smallest one today.
Do something uncomfortable on purpose each day. Like skin under friction, the mind toughens, and hard things stop feeling like emergencies.
Daring Greatly
Single Model
Brené Brown
Not started
After a slip, feel guilt about the act and refuse shame about myself, so I get back on track sooner.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brown separates shame from guilt. Guilt says: I did something bad. Shame says: I am bad. She reports research that shame is strongly linked with addiction, depression, aggression and eating disorders, while guilt is linked with the opposite, since guilt pushes us to repair what we did. She describes four parts of shame resilience: recognise shame and what triggers it, check the message against reality, reach out to someone, and speak about it, since shame grows in secrecy. Likely to trip me up: Brown says shame makes us want to hide, which is exactly what feeds it. Note: the shame and guilt distinction is well supported by other researchers. Brown's resilience steps come from her interviews. (Source: Daring Greatly, Ch. 3.)
Failure Is an Event, Not an Identity (Mindset, Carol Dweck): the same line, drawn for setbacks. The Downward Spiral (The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin): how one error becomes many.
Mindset & Emotions
Shame vs Guilt
Ch. 3, Understanding and Combating Shame. Page not verified (Gotham Books, 2012).
Improve mental health / be happier; Quit smoking / vaping; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Drink less alcohol
04; 10; 19; 11
Plan: After any relapse or mistake I will say 'I did something I regret', name the fix, and tell one trusted person within a day.
shame, guilt, relapse, addiction, self-worth, secrecy, mistakes, repair, apology, resilience, triggers, self-talk, hiding, depression, eating, drinking, identity, reach out, empathy, recovery
You slip up and the verdict is instant: 'I am useless.' You hide it, feel worse, and reach for the very thing you were trying to stop.
Take one thing you feel bad about. Rewrite 'I am...' as 'I did...'. Then name one way to repair it, and one person you could tell.
Guilt says 'I did something bad' and pushes you to repair it. Shame says 'I am bad' and pushes you to hide. Keep guilt, resist shame.
Emotional Intelligence
Single Model
Daniel Goleman
Not started
Cool my anger down before I act on it, and stop believing that letting it out helps.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Goleman reports research that anger builds on itself: each angry thought adds fuel, and a body already stirred up reacts more strongly to the next provocation. Studies found that venting rage, the supposed catharsis, typically pumps up arousal and leaves people angrier. What works is challenging the thoughts that feed the anger early, and cooling off physically somewhere away from the trigger, with a long walk or other exercise, as long as you do not spend it brooding. Likely to trip me up: Goleman says anger is the most seductive of the negative moods, since the self-righteous inner monologue feels good. Note: the finding that venting does not reduce anger has been confirmed by later studies. (Source: Emotional Intelligence, Ch. 5.)
Slow Your Breath to Slow Your Body (Breath, James Nestor): bring the arousal down first. The Soft Zone (The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin): stay flexible under provocation.
Mindset & Emotions
Venting Does Not Cool Anger
Ch. 5, Passion's Slaves. Page not verified (Bantam Books, 1995).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve relationships / communicate; Exercise / move daily
12; 25; 01
Plan: When I am angry I will leave, walk for twenty minutes, and look for one other explanation of what the person did. I will not rehearse the grievance while I walk.
anger, venting, catharsis, rage, cooling off, walk, temper, punching pillow, rumination, arousal, reframe, calm down, grievance, brooding, exercise, conflict, outburst, self-control, stress, fuel
You 'get it off your chest' by ranting to a friend or firing off a message. You end up angrier, and now there is a mess to clean up.
Next time you are angry, walk for twenty minutes before you say or send anything. On the walk, think of one other reason the person might have acted that way.
Letting anger out by ranting or hitting things makes it stronger, not weaker. What works is cooling down and rethinking the trigger.
The Happiness Hypothesis
Single Model
Jonathan Haidt
Not started
Stop trying to win by willpower, and start training and steering the part of me that actually moves.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Haidt pictures the mind as a rider on an elephant. The rider is conscious, reasoning thought. The elephant is everything else: gut feelings, emotions, habits. The rider can see further and plan, and can steer only when the elephant has no strong wish of its own. Haidt says the rider is an adviser, not a king, and is skilled at making up reasons afterwards for what the elephant did. Lasting change comes from retraining the elephant, not from lecturing it. Likely to trip me up: Haidt says we identify with the rider, so we keep expecting a good argument to change our behaviour. Note: the chapter also cites priming experiments that later failed to replicate. The metaphor does not depend on them. (Source: The Happiness Hypothesis, Ch. 1.)
System 1 and System 2 (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): the same split, from a different lab. Find the Bright Spots (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): the Heaths build their whole method on this metaphor.
Thinking & Reasoning
The Rider and the Elephant
Ch. 1, The Divided Self. Starts on p. 1 (Basic Books, 2006).
Beat procrastination / focus; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Eat healthier
07; 19; 02
Plan: For each habit I want, I will ask what would make the elephant want it: make it pleasant, easy and visible. I will save my reasoning for choosing the path, not for wrestling in the moment.
willpower, self-control, emotion, reason, elephant, rider, habits, impulse, temptation, motivation, divided mind, procrastination, cravings, rationalise, automatic, change, feelings, discipline, inner conflict, behaviour
You decide firmly to change, and by evening you are doing the old thing again. You conclude that you are weak.
Pick one habit you keep failing at. Ask: what does my elephant get from the old way? Change one thing so the new way feels better or easier.
Your reasoning mind is a small rider on a large elephant of emotion and habit. The rider can guide, but cannot win a tug of war.
Daring Greatly
Single Model
Brené Brown
Not started
Show up with my work before it feels safe, and weigh criticism by where it comes from.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brown takes her title from a 1910 speech by Theodore Roosevelt, who said the credit belongs to the person in the arena, marred by dust and sweat, who at worst fails while daring greatly, and not to the critic. She defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure, and says that waiting until we are perfect and bulletproof before we walk in means wasting our gifts and our time. Likely to trip me up: Brown says perfect and bulletproof are tempting, and do not exist. Note: a framing drawn from a famous speech, supported by her interview research. (Source: Daring Greatly, 'What It Means to Dare Greatly'.)
Territory, Not Hierarchy (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): do the work for its own sake. Success Is Private (The Creative Act, Rick Rubin with Neil Strauss): judge it yourself before the crowd does.
Mindset & Emotions
The Man in the Arena
Opening section, What It Means to Dare Greatly. Page not verified (Gotham Books, 2012).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Stop comparing / social-media envy
27; 26
Plan: I will publish on a schedule, ready or not. When criticism comes, I will ask if the person is also making and sharing work, and weigh it accordingly.
courage, criticism, critics, arena, vulnerability, showing up, fear, judgement, risk, exposure, publish, haters, comments, daring, failure, perfection, spectators, bravery, feedback, creators
You stay in the stands, preparing and criticising, until you feel ready. You never feel ready.
Name the arena you have been standing outside. Take one visible step into it this week, before you feel ready.
Credit goes to the person in the arena who risks failing, not to the critic in the stands. Do not wait until you are bulletproof to walk in.
Can't Hurt Me
Single Model
David Goggins
Not started
Face the plain facts about where I am each day, and put my next steps where I cannot avoid seeing them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Goggins describes himself as a failing teenager who wanted to join the Air Force. Each night he faced the bathroom mirror and told himself the truth about his grades, weight and effort. He wrote his goals and the steps to reach them on notes stuck to the mirror, starting with small things such as making his bed, and removed each note when it was done. He calls it the Accountability Mirror. Likely to trip me up: Goggins is harsh with himself on purpose. For many people harsh self-talk slides into shame, which research links with giving up. The facts can be stated without the insults. Note: a memoir by a former Navy SEAL. It is motivational, not scientific. (Source: Can't Hurt Me, Ch. 2.)
Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): each small step is a vote for who you want to be. Commitment and Consistency (Influence, Robert Cialdini): written goals hold you.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Accountability Mirror
Ch. 2, Truth Hurts (Challenge #2). Page not verified (Lioncrest, 2018).
Lose weight; Exercise / move daily; Journal / self-reflect
08; 01; 24
Plan: I will put sticky notes on my mirror: one honest statement of where I stand, and one small step for each goal. I will read them each morning and replace a note when its step is done.
accountability, mirror, honesty, goals, sticky notes, self-talk, excuses, truth, weight, discipline, daily review, responsibility, denial, steps, tough love, morning routine, tracking, self-assessment, change, motivation
You soften the facts to yourself: 'it is not that bad', 'I will start Monday'. Nothing changes, since officially there is no problem.
Write one honest sentence about where you stand on one goal, and one small step. Stick both on your mirror tonight.
Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself the truth about where you are. Stick your goals and next steps on it, and face them daily.
The Gifts of Imperfection
Single Model
Brené Brown
Not started
Make gratitude something I do each day, not a mood I wait for.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brown says she expected to find that joyful people are grateful. She found the reverse: every person she interviewed who described a joyful life actively practised gratitude, with journals, daily rituals or spoken thanks. They spoke of it as a practice, not an attitude. She adds that joy comes in ordinary moments, and that we miss them when we are busy chasing the extraordinary or bracing for loss. Likely to trip me up: Brown says that in good moments many of us rehearse disaster, since joy makes us feel exposed. Note: Brown's finding comes from interviews. Separate experiments on gratitude journals show real but modest gains in wellbeing. (Source: The Gifts of Imperfection, Guidepost #4.)
The Fulfillment Curve (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): knowing when you have enough. The Negativity Instinct (Factfulness, Hans Rosling): we notice the bad more than the good.
Habits & Behavior Change
Gratitude Is a Practice
Guidepost #4, Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark. Page not verified (Hazelden, 2010).
Improve mental health / be happier; Journal / self-reflect; Stop comparing / social-media envy
04; 24; 26
Plan: Each evening I will write three specific things from the day that I am grateful for. At dinner I will ask the people I eat with for one each.
gratitude, joy, journal, practice, thankful, happiness, scarcity, ordinary moments, ritual, appreciation, enough, fear, wellbeing, family dinner, daily habit, negativity, contentment, positive psychology, three good things, mindset
You wait to feel grateful before you express it. On most days the feeling never comes, and you notice only what is missing.
Tonight, write three specific things from today that you are grateful for. Be concrete: a person, a moment, a taste.
Joyful people are not grateful because they are happy. They feel joy because they practise gratitude, daily and in concrete ways.
Daring Greatly
Single Model
Brené Brown
Not started
Build trust through small honest moments, with people who have earned it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brown takes apart four myths. First, that vulnerability is weakness: she says it is the clearest measure of courage, and we admire it in others while fearing it in ourselves. Second, 'I don't do vulnerability': life is uncertain, so you do it anyway. Third, that it means telling everyone everything: she says it is sharing with people who have earned the right to hear it. Fourth, that we can go it alone. She describes trust as a jar of marbles, filled one small act at a time. Likely to trip me up: Brown says we want to see others' vulnerability and hide our own. Note: interview-based research. (Source: Daring Greatly, Ch. 2.)
The Emotional Bank Account (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): trust built by small deposits. Lead with Your Weaknesses (Originals, Adam Grant): in a pitch, openness about flaws builds credibility.
People & Communication
Vulnerability Is Not Weakness
Ch. 2, Debunking the Vulnerability Myths. Page not verified (Gotham Books, 2012).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
25; 14; 27
Plan: I will pick two people who have shown up for me and share one real worry with each. I will look for small chances to show up for them too.
vulnerability, trust, courage, weakness, openness, oversharing, asking for help, relationships, honesty, connection, friends, marble jar, boundaries, emotional exposure, intimacy, support, fear, walls, sharing, loneliness
You keep everything in so nobody can use it against you. Your relationships stay pleasant and shallow.
Tell one trusted person about something you are unsure of or struggling with. Start with: 'Can I tell you something hard?'
Being open about uncertainty and feeling is courage, not weakness. It is not oversharing either: you share with people who have earned it.
Emotional Intelligence
Single Model
Daniel Goleman
Not started
Give criticism that people can use.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Goleman says most criticism at work is delivered as a personal attack, late, and in anger, and that it leaves people defensive and demoralised. He passes on a psychoanalyst's four rules for what he calls the artful critique. Be specific: pick one incident and say exactly what was done well and what was not. Offer a solution. Be present: give it face to face and in private. Be sensitive to how it lands. He adds advice for the receiver: hear it as information about how to do better, not as an attack. Likely to trip me up: Goleman says managers put feedback off until they boil over, and then it comes out at its worst. Note: practical advice that fits later research on feedback. (Source: Emotional Intelligence, Ch. 10.)
The Braintrust (Creativity, Inc., Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace): notes aimed at the problem, not the person. Understand Before You Judge (How to Read a Book, Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren): earn the right to criticise.
People & Communication
The Artful Critique
Ch. 10, Managing with Heart. Page not verified (Bantam Books, 1995).
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 17
Plan: Before I give feedback, I will write down the specific incident, what was good, what to change and one suggestion. I will say it in person, soon after the event.
feedback, criticism, manager, specific, solution, face to face, private, review, praise, defensiveness, team, coaching, performance, empathy, timing, leadership, critique, work, improvement, difficult conversation
You either say nothing until you explode, or you say 'this is not good enough' and leave the person with no idea what to change.
Think of feedback you owe someone. Write the specific incident, one thing they did well, one thing to change, and one suggestion. Deliver it in person.
Useful criticism is specific, offers a way forward, is given in person, and is delivered with care. Vague attacks teach nothing.
The Gifts of Imperfection
Single Model
Brené Brown
Not started
Notice when I am using food, my phone or a cigarette to take the edge off a feeling, and feel it instead.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brown says most of us take the edge off hard feelings with something: food, alcohol, work, shopping, screens, staying busy. Her interviews led her to a blunt finding: we cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful ones, we also numb joy. She describes her own decision to stop drinking. The people she calls resilient had the same urges, and they felt their feelings, leaned on others, and asked for help. Likely to trip me up: Brown says numbing is normal and mostly unnoticed, which makes it hard to catch. Note: interview-based research. Anyone dependent on alcohol or drugs should seek medical support, not rely on insight alone. (Source: The Gifts of Imperfection, Guidepost #3.)
Golden Rule of Habit Change (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): keep the cue and reward, change the routine. The Struggle Switch (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): what we do to avoid a feeling becomes the problem.
Mindset & Emotions
You Cannot Numb Selectively
Guidepost #3, Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness. Page not verified (Hazelden, 2010).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Drink less alcohol; Cut phone / social-media use; Quit smoking / vaping
19; 11; 06; 10
Plan: When I reach for my usual comfort, I will pause and name the feeling I am trying to dull. I will give it two minutes before I decide what to do.
numbing, emotional eating, alcohol, scrolling, comfort, avoidance, feelings, take the edge off, addiction, busy, shopping, stress, joy, resilience, cravings, escape, coping, smoking, awareness, pain
A hard feeling starts and your hand is already on the fridge, the glass or the phone. Life goes flat, and you do not know why.
The next time you reach for your usual comfort, stop for two minutes and name the feeling you are trying to take the edge off.
When you dull painful feelings with food, drink, work or screens, you dull the good ones too. There is no switch for only the bad ones.
Emotional Intelligence
Single Model
Daniel Goleman
Not started
Put a pause between the surge and my response, so I stop saying things I regret.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Goleman describes moments when a person explodes and afterwards cannot explain why. He calls them emotional hijackings. Drawing on the neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux, he says a small, fast pathway lets the brain's alarm centre react to a rough match with past danger before the thinking brain has finished its work. The reaction is quick and sloppy, which was useful against predators and is less so in a meeting. The thinking brain can quieten the alarm if given time. Likely to trip me up: Goleman says the hijack is over before you know it has started, so the skill is catching the early bodily signs. Note: this is a 1995 simplification. Later neuroscience finds emotion is spread across many brain networks. The practical advice to pause holds up. (Source: Emotional Intelligence, Ch. 2.)
The Rider and the Elephant (The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt): the fast part of the mind acts first. Slow Your Breath to Slow Your Body (Breath, James Nestor): one way to buy the pause.
Mindset & Emotions
The Emotional Hijack
Ch. 2, Anatomy of an Emotional Hijacking. Page not verified (Bantam Books, 1995).
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 12
Plan: When I feel the surge, I will name it silently, take six slow breaths, and if needed say 'I need a few minutes'. I will answer hot messages the next morning.
anger, outburst, amygdala, hijack, temper, reaction, regret, pause, fight or flight, emotions, self-control, snapping, arguments, stress, alarm, impulse, cooling off, triggers, email, conflict
Someone says the wrong thing and you have snapped back before you knew you were angry. The apology takes far longer than the outburst.
Pick your most common trigger. Decide now what you will do in the first ten seconds next time: breathe, count, or leave the room.
Strong emotion can seize control before your thinking brain catches up. The first seconds are not you at your best. Buy time before you act.
The Gifts of Imperfection
Single Model
Brené Brown
Not started
Stop wearing tiredness as a badge, and protect sleep and play as firmly as work.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brown says the people she calls wholehearted make time for play and rest, and that our culture treats exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as a measure of worth. She draws on the play researcher Stuart Brown, who says play is time spent without purpose and that its absence is linked with low mood. She describes her family writing a list of the conditions present when life feels good, such as sleep, exercise and time together, and finding that their goals were crowding those very things out. Likely to trip me up: Brown says rest feels lazy when your worth is tied to output. Note: interview-based research. The costs of lost sleep are well established elsewhere. (Source: The Gifts of Imperfection, Guidepost #7.)
Do Things for Their Own Sake (Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman): leisure that serves nothing. P/PC Balance (Sharpen the Saw) (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): protect what produces the results.
Mindset & Emotions
Exhaustion Is Not a Status Symbol
Guidepost #7, Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth. Page not verified (Hazelden, 2010).
Sleep better; Manage stress / anxiety; Spend time with family/friends
05; 12; 14
Plan: I will write a short list of what my life looks like when things are going well, such as enough sleep, time outside and unhurried meals, and check my week against it before I add any new commitment.
rest, play, exhaustion, busy, burnout, productivity, self-worth, sleep, hustle, status, leisure, downtime, overwork, family time, balance, guilt, hobbies, recovery, enough, wellbeing
You answer 'how are you?' with 'so busy' and feel a little proud. You cannot remember when you last did something for no reason.
Write down what your life looks like when it is going well: sleep, meals, people, play. Check this week against the list.
Being tired and busy is not proof of worth. Play and rest are needs, not rewards you earn after all the work is done.
Daring Greatly
Single Model
Brené Brown
Not started
Find where my behaviour contradicts the values I claim, and close one gap at a time.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Brown borrows the warning from the London Underground. She says every family and organisation has aspirational values, the ones we state, and practised values, the ones our behaviour shows. People, children above all, believe the practised ones. Her example is a parent who preaches honesty and then lies on the phone within the child's hearing. She says the gap is where we lose people, and that we cannot give others what we do not have ourselves. Likely to trip me up: Brown says nobody's values line up perfectly, and that the aim is to pay attention to the gap, not to be perfect. Note: interview-based research. (Source: Daring Greatly, Ch. 5.)
Begin with the End in Mind (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): know the values first. Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): behaviour is the evidence of who you are.
People & Communication
Mind the Gap
Ch. 5, Mind the Gap: Cultivating Change and Closing the Disengagement Divide. Page not verified (Gotham Books, 2012).
Improve relationships / communicate; Journal / self-reflect; Spend time with family/friends
25; 24; 14
Plan: I will write my top three values and, beside each, last week's evidence for and against. I will pick the widest gap and change one behaviour.
values, integrity, hypocrisy, gap, behaviour, parenting, leadership, walk the talk, culture, trust, children, example, alignment, honesty, practice, aspiration, disengagement, family, self-audit, consistency
You say family comes first and answer emails at dinner. You say health matters and never move. Others can see the gap. You cannot.
Write your top three values. Beside each, write one thing you did last week that showed it, and one that contradicted it.
There is a gap between the values you state and the values your behaviour shows. People, children most of all, believe the second kind.
The Happiness Hypothesis
Single Model
Jonathan Haidt
Not started
Work on my automatic reactions with methods that have evidence, not with pep talks.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Haidt says the mind reacts to bad things faster and more strongly than to good ones, and that people differ from birth in how sunny or gloomy their automatic reactions are. He says you cannot change this by deciding to. He names three methods that do retrain the elephant: meditation, cognitive therapy, which teaches you to catch and question distorted thoughts, and antidepressant medication. Likely to trip me up: Haidt says all three take weeks of steady use, which the rider's love of quick insight resists. Note: meditation and cognitive therapy have good research support, with moderate effects. How well antidepressants work, and for whom, is debated among researchers, and medication is a decision to make with a doctor. (Source: The Happiness Hypothesis, Ch. 2.)
The Triple-Column Technique (Feeling Good, David Burns): the core exercise of cognitive therapy. Move Your Mood (Spark, John Ratey): exercise as a fourth method.
Mindset & Emotions
Three Ways to Retrain the Elephant
Ch. 2, Changing Your Mind. Starts on p. 23 (Basic Books, 2006).
Improve mental health / be happier; Meditate / mindfulness; Stop overthinking / rumination
04; 21; 15
Plan: I will start with ten minutes of daily meditation and a weekly written check of my most common negative thought. If low mood persists, I will see a doctor.
negativity bias, mood, meditation, cognitive therapy, cbt, antidepressants, temperament, pessimism, optimism, automatic thoughts, retrain, anxiety, depression, worry, mindfulness, set point, reactions, mental health, practice, change
You tell yourself to 'think positive' and nothing shifts. You take it as proof that you are just a negative person.
Sit for five minutes and follow your breath. Each time your mind wanders, bring it back without comment. Repeat tomorrow.
You cannot argue your automatic reactions into changing. Three things retrain them over time: meditation, cognitive therapy and medication.
Emotional Intelligence
Single Model
Daniel Goleman
Not started
Notice what I am feeling while I am feeling it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Goleman calls self-awareness, recognising a feeling as it happens, the keystone of emotional intelligence. He describes it as a neutral, observing attention: the difference between being swept away by rage and thinking 'this is anger I am feeling'. He reports a psychologist's three styles: the self-aware, who notice moods and recover sooner; the engulfed, who are swamped; and the accepting, who notice and do nothing. He also describes people who lack words for their feelings and so cannot use them to guide decisions. Likely to trip me up: Goleman says feelings often work below awareness and still steer us, so checking in has to be deliberate. Note: later studies support the idea that putting feelings into words reduces their intensity. Goleman's broader claims for emotional intelligence, such as that it matters more than IQ, are disputed. (Source: Emotional Intelligence, Ch. 4.)
Label the Emotion (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): naming a feeling calms it, in others too. Defusion (Thoughts Are Just Words) (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): observe the inner event without being it.
Mindset & Emotions
Name the Feeling
Ch. 4, Know Thyself. Page not verified (Bantam Books, 1995).
Meditate / mindfulness; Journal / self-reflect; Manage stress / anxiety
21; 24; 12
Plan: Three times a day, on a phone reminder, I will stop and write one word for what I feel and where I feel it in my body.
self-awareness, emotions, feelings, naming, mindfulness, mood, check-in, observe, body, labelling, emotional intelligence, vocabulary, awareness, reaction, journaling, calm, metacognition, inner state, notice, regulation
You are in a bad mood for hours before you realise it. By then you have already taken it out on three people.
Set three reminders today. At each one, write a single word for what you feel right now, and where in your body you feel it.
Noticing a feeling while it is happening, and naming it, gives you a small distance from it. 'I am furious' becomes 'this is anger'.
Originals
Single Model
Adam Grant
Not started
Use my nerves before recordings and talks, and stop trying to switch them off.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Grant reports experiments by Alison Wood Brooks in which people about to sing, speak or do maths in public were told to say either 'I am calm' or 'I am excited'. The excited group performed better. The explanation is that anxiety is a high-energy state, and it is easier to steer it towards another high-energy state than to shut it down. He also describes defensive pessimism: some anxious people do best by imagining everything that could go wrong and preparing for it. Likely to trip me up: Grant says timing decides the strategy. Once you are committed and about to perform, picturing disaster hurts, which is when the relabelling works best. Note: these are lab studies with short tasks, and the effects were modest. Mel Robbins gives the same advice, resting on the same study, in The 5 Second Rule (Part 4, Ch. 13, End Anxiety). (Source: Originals, Ch. 8.)
Fear Rides in the Back Seat (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): let the fear come along. The Struggle Switch (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): fighting the feeling makes it bigger.
Mindset & Emotions
Say 'I Am Excited'
Ch. 8, Rocking the Boat and Keeping It Steady: Managing Anxiety, Apathy, Ambivalence, and Anger. Page not verified (Viking, 2016).
Manage stress / anxiety; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve relationships / communicate
12; 27; 25
Plan: In the minutes before any performance I will say 'I am excited' out loud and list what could go well. Days before, I will do my worrying on paper and prepare for each item.
anxiety, nerves, excitement, calm down, public speaking, stage fright, performance, exam, interview, reframe, reappraisal, heart racing, stress, pessimism, preparation, fear, presentation, adrenaline, self-talk, confidence
Your heart pounds before a talk. You tell yourself to relax, fail, and now you are anxious about being anxious.
Before your next stressful moment, say out loud 'I am excited' three times. Then list what could go well.
Before a nerve-racking task, do not tell yourself to calm down. Anxiety and excitement feel alike. Call the feeling excitement and use it.
Grit
Single Model
Angela Duckworth
Not started
Stop explaining other people's skill by talent, and put in my own hours.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duckworth offers two equations: talent multiplied by effort is skill, and skill multiplied by effort is achievement. Talent is how fast your skill improves when you work. Without effort, talent is unmet potential, and skill is only what you could have done. She describes how we prefer to call achievers naturals, which she says lets us off the hook. Likely to trip me up: Duckworth says the bias towards talent is often hidden. People say they value hard work and still choose the 'natural' when tested. Note: the equations are her way of summarising, not a measured formula. Independent reviews find that grit overlaps heavily with the long-known trait of conscientiousness, and adds only a little to predicting success. (Source: Grit, Ch. 3.)
Deliberate Practice (Peak, Anders Ericsson): what the effort should consist of. Growth Mindset (vs Fixed) (Mindset, Carol Dweck): the belief that makes the effort seem worthwhile.
Learning & Knowledge
Effort Counts Twice
Ch. 3, Effort Counts Twice. Page not verified (Scribner, 2016).
Learn a skill / upskill; Exercise / move daily; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 01; 27
Plan: When I catch myself calling someone a natural, I will look up how long they have been at it. I will log my own practice hours so I can see effort adding up.
effort, talent, skill, achievement, natural, gifted, hard work, practice, grit, perseverance, envy, excuses, potential, consistency, hours, improvement, persistence, success, genius, work ethic
You see someone better than you and say 'they are a natural'. It excuses you from the work, and hides the years of theirs.
Think of someone whose skill you envy. Find out how many hours or years they put in. Then put in one hour of your own today.
Talent times effort gives skill. Skill times effort gives achievement. Effort appears in both steps, so it counts twice.
On Writing
Single Model
Stephen King
Not started
Take in a lot of the best work in my field, and make a lot of my own.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: King says that if you want to be a writer you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. He reads seventy or eighty books a year, everywhere, in small sips as well as long sittings. Good books teach style and bad ones teach what not to do. He says that if you do not have time to read, you do not have the time or the tools to write. He writes every day, to a quota, in the same place with the door shut. Likely to trip me up: King says the television, and by extension any screen, is the first thing that has to go. Note: one writer's practice. It fits research on the role of volume in creative output. (Source: On Writing, 'On Writing'.)
Quantity Breeds Quality (Originals, Adam Grant): output volume raises the odds of good work. Steal Like an Artist (Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon): you are only as good as what you take in.
Learning & Knowledge
Read a Lot and Write a Lot
Section 'On Writing'. Page not verified (Scribner, 2000).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill; Cut phone / social-media use
09; 17; 06
Plan: I will set two daily numbers: pages read and words written. I will carry a book everywhere and use small gaps for reading, not for my phone.
reading, writing, volume, practice, daily, quota, input, output, books, craft, television, screens, routine, learning, consistency, time, study the best, creators, habit, discipline
You want to write, film or code well, but you take in little of the best work and produce only now and then.
Set two small daily numbers for your craft: how much you will take in and how much you will make. Do both today.
To get good at making something, take in a great deal of it and make a great deal of it. King says there is no way around these two.
Originals
Single Model
Adam Grant
Not started
Win over sceptical listeners by naming the problems with my idea before they do.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Grant tells of an entrepreneur who pitched investors with a slide listing the reasons not to invest in his company, and got funded. He later sold the company using a list of its problems. Grant calls this the Sarick effect. He gives four reasons it works on a critical audience: it disarms them, it makes you look smart, it makes you more trustworthy, and it leaves them struggling to think of further problems, so the ones named seem minor. Likely to trip me up: Grant says it works when the audience is sceptical and the idea is basically sound. With a supportive audience, or with fatal flaws, it can backfire. Note: built on a few cases plus related studies of persuasion. (Source: Originals, Ch. 3.)
If You're Wrong, Admit It Quickly (How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie): owning a fault lowers the other person's guard. Label the Emotion (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): name the objection before they do.
People & Communication
Lead with Your Weaknesses
Ch. 3, Out on a Limb: Speaking Truth to Power. Page not verified (Viking, 2016).
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 17
Plan: For each pitch or proposal I will write down its three biggest weaknesses and open with them, then say how I plan to handle each.
pitch, persuasion, weaknesses, honesty, sceptical, skeptical, investors, boss, proposal, trust, objections, credibility, presentation, speaking up, criticism, disarm, flaws, selling, ideas, candour
You present only the upside. Your listeners spend the whole time hunting for the catch, and trust you less when they find it.
For your next proposal, write the three strongest reasons not to do it, and say them first.
When pitching to sceptics, open with your idea's biggest weaknesses. It disarms them, signals honesty, and makes the flaws seem smaller.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Single Model
Mark Manson
Not started
Pick goals by the daily work I am willing to do, not by the prize.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Manson says happiness comes from solving problems, and that life is an endless series of them, so the aim is to find problems you enjoy having. He tells how he wanted to be a rock star for years, and finally saw that he loved the image of the result and not the daily grind of practice and gigs. His conclusion is that what you are willing to struggle for decides who you become. Likely to trip me up: Manson says we fall in love with the victory and not the process, and mistake wanting the prize for wanting the life. Note: a personal story and an argument, not research. (Source: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Ch. 2.)
Trade-Offs (Which Problem Do I Want?) (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): every choice comes with its own problems. Effort Counts Twice (Grit, Angela Duckworth): the daily work is what produces the result.
Decision-Making & Risk
Choose Your Struggle
Ch. 2, Happiness Is a Problem, section 'Choose Your Struggle'. Page not verified (HarperOne, 2016).
Exercise / move daily; Learn a skill / upskill; Improve mental health / be happier
01; 17; 04
Plan: For each goal I hold, I will write the unpleasant daily part it demands and ask if I would accept that for years. I will drop the goals where the honest answer is no.
goals, struggle, pain, process, sacrifice, motivation, dreams, discipline, fitness, business, practice, grind, wanting, commitment, happiness, problems, choose, effort, reality check, cost
You want the body, the business, the book. You do not want the early mornings, the rejections, the rewrites. So nothing changes.
For one goal, write down the daily unpleasant part it demands. Ask honestly: am I willing to have that in my life for years?
Everyone wants the reward. Ask which pain you are willing to keep bearing. The struggle you can stand decides what you end up with.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Single Model
Mark Manson
Not started
Stop adding a second bad feeling on top of the first one.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Manson describes what he calls the feedback loop from hell: we feel bad, then feel bad about feeling bad, and social media makes it worse by showing everyone else apparently fine. He borrows what the philosopher Alan Watts called the backwards law: chasing a positive feeling is itself a negative experience, and accepting a negative feeling is itself a positive one. His advice is to stop caring that you feel bad, which cuts the loop. Likely to trip me up: Manson says the culture treats any negative feeling as a problem to be fixed, so accepting one feels like failing. Note: this matches acceptance-based therapies, which have good research support. Manson's own account is informal. (Source: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Ch. 1.)
The Struggle Switch (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): fighting a feeling adds a second layer of pain. Paradoxical Intention (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): stop forcing the opposite and the symptom eases.
Mindset & Emotions
The Feedback Loop from Hell
Ch. 1, Don't Try, section 'The Feedback Loop from Hell'. Page not verified (HarperOne, 2016).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier
15; 12; 04
Plan: When I notice I feel anxious or low, I will name it once, say that it is allowed, and carry on with what I was doing.
anxiety, overthinking, feeling bad, guilt, shame, loop, spiral, acceptance, negative emotions, backwards law, social media, happiness, pressure, positivity, worry, rumination, self-criticism, mood, let it be, stress
You feel anxious, then worry about why you are anxious, then feel ashamed for worrying. The second and third layers hurt more than the first.
Next time a bad feeling comes, say: 'I feel bad, and that is all right.' Do not add a second feeling on top.
Feeling bad about feeling bad makes a loop: anxious about being anxious, guilty about feeling guilty. Accepting the first feeling breaks it.
Grit
Single Model
Angela Duckworth
Not started
Give new interests long enough to grow before I judge them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duckworth says most of the high achievers she interviewed spent years exploring several interests before one took hold. She describes three stages: discovery, which is playful and often unnoticed at the time; development, through repeated exposure and the support of others; and a lifetime of deepening. She says interests are not found by looking inward. They are triggered by contact with the world. Likely to trip me up: Duckworth says people expect love at first sight and quit too early, and that parents and teachers often push discipline before play. Note: based on interviews and on earlier research into how interests develop. See the note on grit research in the 'Effort Counts Twice' row. (Source: Grit, Ch. 6.)
Curiosity Over Passion (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): follow small interests. The Life's Task (Mastery, Robert Greene): the opposing view, that a calling is there to be uncovered.
Mindset & Emotions
Interest Is Developed, Not Found
Ch. 6, Interest. Page not verified (Scribner, 2016).
Learn a skill / upskill; Improve mental health / be happier; Read / learn more
17; 04; 09
Plan: I will give any new interest one hour a week for two months, find one person who shares it, and only then decide whether to go deeper.
passion, interest, find your passion, career, hobbies, explore, patience, play, development, calling, boredom, quitting, curiosity, purpose, young people, trial, commitment, exposure, encouragement, time
You wait to 'find your passion' and drop each new thing when it fails to feel like destiny by week three.
Pick one thing that mildly interests you. Give it one hour a week for two months before you judge it.
Passion rarely arrives in a flash. It starts as a small interest and grows over years of trying it, going deeper and being encouraged.
Surfaces and Essences
Single Model
Douglas Hofstadter and Emmanuel Sander
Not started
Make 'what is this like?' a deliberate question, since my mind is asking it anyway.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Hofstadter and Sander argue that analogy-making is the core of cognition. Each time we recognise a thing, choose a word or face a new situation, the mind retrieves something similar from memory and treats the new case as one of those. They say this happens many times a second and mostly unseen, from calling an object a cup to a physicist's leap between fields. Likely to trip me up: the authors say most analogies are invisible to the person making them, so noticing my own will take practice. Note: this is a book-length theoretical argument built from examples. Many cognitive scientists agree analogy matters a great deal. The claim that it is the core of all thought is the authors' position, not a settled finding. (Source: Surfaces and Essences, Prologue.)
New combinations (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): a new idea joins things that were apart. The Map Is Not the Territory (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): every comparison leaves things out.
Thinking & Reasoning
Analogy Is the Core of Thinking
Prologue, Analogy as the Core of Cognition. Page not verified (Basic Books, 2013).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: For each new problem or book idea, I will write the comparison I am already using, ask what it makes me expect, and then try a second comparison from a different field.
analogy, thinking, comparison, what is this like, metaphor, categories, cognition, ideas, creativity, understanding, pattern, similarity, reasoning, memory, learning, insight, mental models, explain, perception, concepts
You think analogies are decoration for speeches. You do not notice that you chose your job, your fears and your plans by 'this is like that'.
For one decision you are facing, write down: 'This situation is like...' Then ask what that comparison makes you expect, and whether it fits.
We understand every new thing by seeing it as like something we already know. Analogy is not an occasional trick. It is how thought moves.
Originals
Single Model
Adam Grant
Not started
Use delay on purpose for creative work, and stop confusing it with avoidance.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Grant reports experiments by a doctoral student in which people who were led to put off a creative task for a while, after learning what it was, produced ideas rated more creative than people who started at once. He explains it with the finding that unfinished tasks stay active in memory. He describes great speeches and paintings that were left open until late. He also reports research that the first company into a market fails more often than those who follow. Likely to trip me up: Grant is clear that this only helps if you have started and you care about the task. Putting off a task you have not begun, or a routine one, just makes you late. Note: the experiments were small, and part of the work was unpublished when the book came out. Chronic procrastination is linked with worse results and more stress. (Source: Originals, Ch. 4.)
Focused and Diffuse Modes (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): the mind keeps working when you step away. The Slow Hunch (Where Good Ideas Come From, Steven Johnson): good ideas need time to ripen.
Creativity & Ideas
Strategic Procrastination
Ch. 4, Fools Rush In: Timing, Strategic Procrastination, and the First-Mover Disadvantage. Page not verified (Viking, 2016).
Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill
07; 17
Plan: For creative tasks I will start early with a short session, then leave a planned gap before I finish. For routine tasks I will not delay at all.
procrastination, delay, creativity, incubation, timing, start early, unfinished, ideas, deadline, first mover, patience, rushing, drafts, zeigarnik, waiting, creative work, last minute, pause, improvise, planning
You either rush to finish the first idea you have, or you put the task off completely until panic. Both give ordinary work.
Start a creative task today for twenty minutes. Then stop on purpose and come back in two days. Note what arrived in between.
For creative work, start early, then leave the task unfinished for a while. The open problem keeps working in your mind and gathers ideas.
Mindset
Single Model
Carol Dweck
Not started
Treat my failures and relapses as events I can study, not as verdicts on who I am.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dweck says mindsets change the meaning of failure. In the fixed mindset, failure moves from an action (I failed) to an identity (I am a failure). She describes students with a fixed mindset who, after a poor grade, said they would study less next time or consider cheating, while students with a growth mindset planned to study harder. She also reports that people with a fixed mindset felt worse after setbacks and did less to fix their problems. Likely to trip me up: Dweck says everyone has some fixed mindset, and it is triggered by exactly these moments. Note: independent studies find mindset effects are real but modest. (Source: Mindset, Ch. 2.)
Doubt the Work, Not Yourself (The Creative Act, Rick Rubin with Neil Strauss): the same line, drawn by an artist. The Ten Cognitive Distortions (Feeling Good, David Burns): labelling yourself is one of them.
Mindset & Emotions
Failure Is an Event, Not an Identity
Ch. 2, Inside the Mindsets, section 'Mindsets Change the Meaning of Failure'. Page not verified (Ballantine Books, updated edition).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Quit smoking / vaping
27; 04; 10
Plan: After any setback I will write it down as a dated event, list what led up to it, and name one change for next time. I will not use the words 'I am' about it.
failure, identity, setback, relapse, shame, labels, mindset, fixed, growth, exam, rejection, mistakes, self-talk, loser, resilience, learning, bounce back, confidence, depression, try again
One bad exam, rejection or relapse and you decide this is who you are. You stop trying, to avoid more proof.
Think of a recent failure. Write it as an event with a date: 'On Tuesday my talk went badly.' Then write one thing to do differently.
In a fixed mindset, 'I failed' becomes 'I am a failure'. In a growth mindset, a failure is an event you can learn from, not who you are.
Mindset
Single Model
Carol Dweck
Not started
Stop reading every disagreement as a sign that a relationship is wrong.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dweck describes two fixed-mindset beliefs about love: that if you have to work at it, it was not meant to be, and that partners should know each other's needs without being told. She says problems then get blamed on fixed flaws in the partner, who becomes the enemy. In the growth mindset, people believe that they, their partner and the relationship can all develop, so problems are things to talk about. She applies the same thinking to friendship and shyness. Likely to trip me up: Dweck says the belief in effortless love is romantic and widely shared, so effort feels like a bad sign. Note: this chapter rests mostly on her own lab's studies and on case stories. (Source: Mindset, Ch. 6.)
The Emotional Bank Account (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): relationships run on steady deposits. Observation, Feeling, Need, Request (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): how to say what you need.
People & Communication
Good Relationships Take Work
Ch. 6, Relationships: Mindsets in Love (or Not). Page not verified (Ballantine Books, updated edition).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Improve mental health / be happier
25; 14; 04
Plan: When friction comes up with someone close, I will say what I need in plain words and ask what they need. I will treat the problem as ours to work on, not as a flaw in them.
relationships, love, marriage, partner, effort, compatibility, mind reading, conflict, arguments, blame, growth, friendship, shyness, communication, expectations, soulmate, break up, work at it, needs, dating
After the first real disagreement you think 'we are not compatible'. You expect your partner to read your mind, and blame their character when they do not.
Pick one recurring friction with someone close. Tell them plainly what you need. Do not wait for them to guess.
The fixed mindset says a relationship that needs work is the wrong one. Dweck says every good one takes effort, and that people can grow.
Surfaces and Essences
Single Model
Douglas Hofstadter and Emmanuel Sander
Not started
Find the simple pictures I lean on, and check where they stop being true.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Sander's research area is how naive analogies shape learning. The authors show that students, and adults, treat division as sharing, so they struggle to accept that dividing can give a bigger number, and treat the equals sign as 'gives the result'. They say such analogies are never deleted. Even experts fall back on them under pressure. Good teaching works with them and extends them. Likely to trip me up: the authors say a naive analogy feels like understanding, which is why it goes unquestioned. Note: this chapter rests on classroom research in maths education, more than the rest of the book does. (Source: Surfaces and Essences, Ch. 7.)
Illusions of Knowing (Make It Stick, Peter Brown, Henry Roediger and Mark McDaniel): feeling you understand is not the same as understanding. The Einstellung Effect (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): a familiar idea blocks a better one.
Learning & Knowledge
Naive Analogies
Ch. 7, Naive Analogies. Page not verified (Basic Books, 2013).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: For each concept I explain in a video, I will write the everyday picture I use for it and one case where that picture fails. I will tell viewers where the picture ends.
learning, misconceptions, naive, analogy, teaching, maths, division, understanding, mental picture, simplification, students, explain, beginner, expert, errors, intuition, education, concepts, upgrade, unlearn
You 'understand' a topic through one simple picture and never notice where it breaks. It quietly blocks the next level.
Pick a concept you use often. Write the everyday picture you hold for it. Find one case where that picture gives the wrong answer.
We learn new ideas through everyday analogies, like 'division is sharing'. They help at first, then mislead. Learning means upgrading them.
Originals
Single Model
Adam Grant
Not started
Raise my odds of a good idea by making many more of them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Grant draws on the psychologist Dean Simonton, who found that the most celebrated creators simply produced more work than their peers, and that their hit rate was no higher. Famous composers and inventors turned out huge volumes, much of it forgotten. Grant adds that creators are poor judges of their own ideas, that managers are too cautious, and that fellow creators are the best judges. Likely to trip me up: Grant says people fall in love with their first ideas, which tend to be the most conventional ones. Note: this rests on historical records of output, which show a link and not a cause. (Source: Originals, Ch. 2.)
The Abundant Mindset (The Creative Act, Rick Rubin with Neil Strauss): ideas are not scarce, so use them. Share Something Small Every Day (Show Your Work!, Austin Kleon): a daily habit that builds volume.
Creativity & Ideas
Quantity Breeds Quality
Ch. 2, Blind Inventors and One-Eyed Investors: The Art and Science of Recognizing Original Ideas. Page not verified (Viking, 2016).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 13; 17
Plan: I will set a weekly quota of ideas and rough drafts, and hold off judging until the quota is met. I will ask fellow creators, not friends, which ones are worth pursuing.
ideas, quantity, quality, volume, output, brainstorm, drafts, creativity, genius, prolific, hit rate, first idea, judgement, feedback, peers, perfectionism, experiments, many, practice, originality
You work on one precious idea for a year. It may be a dud, and you have no way of knowing.
Set a number. Before you judge any of them, write twenty ideas or five rough drafts.
The way to get good ideas is to produce a lot of them. Creators cannot predict which of their works will land, so volume raises the odds.
Grit
Single Model
Angela Duckworth
Not started
Line my daily tasks up under one top goal, and drop the ones that serve nothing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duckworth pictures goals as a pyramid. At the bottom are concrete tasks, which are means to ends. At the top is one goal that is an end in itself, a compass for the rest. Gritty people keep the top goal for a very long time and are flexible about the lower ones: if one route is blocked, they swap it for another that serves the same end. She also passes on a three-step exercise credited to a famous investor: list twenty-five goals, circle the top five, and avoid the other twenty. Likely to trip me up: Duckworth says many people have a top goal with no lower goals to reach it, which she calls positive fantasising, or many mid-level goals with nothing uniting them. Note: the investor story is widely repeated and its origin is unverified. See also the note on grit research in the 'Effort Counts Twice' row. (Source: Grit, Ch. 4.)
Begin with the End in Mind (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): decide the top before the steps. Goal Setting to the Now (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller): link the far goal to today's task.
Systems & Strategy
The Goal Hierarchy
Ch. 4, How Gritty Are You? Page not verified (Scribner, 2016).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Be more punctual / manage time
13; 07; 23
Plan: I will write my goals on cards, ask 'why?' of each until I reach one or two at the top, and set aside any that do not connect. I will review the pyramid each quarter.
goals, hierarchy, priorities, focus, top goal, purpose, pyramid, why, tasks, alignment, scattered, too many goals, long term, direction, compass, planning, avoid list, persistence, flexibility, strategy
You have twenty goals that pull in different directions. You work hard and move nowhere, and you drop goals when they get hard.
Write your goals on cards. Ask 'why?' of each until they point to one or two at the top. Put aside those that serve neither.
Put your goals in levels. Daily goals serve mid-level goals, which serve one top goal. Grit is holding that top goal steady for years.
Surfaces and Essences
Single Model
Douglas Hofstadter and Emmanuel Sander
Not started
Stop wasting arguments on definitions, and talk about the cases.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors trace how a child's word for one person, Mommy, extends to other children's mothers, then to animals, then to abstractions such as a motherland. Each step is an analogy. They say every category works this way, with a core of clear cases and a blurry halo of looser ones that keeps expanding through life. Expertise, in their view, is having many finely tuned categories. Likely to trip me up: the authors note that language hides this. One word makes the category feel like one fixed thing. Note: consistent with well-known research on prototypes and fuzzy categories from the 1970s onward. (Source: Surfaces and Essences, Ch. 1.)
Hold Your Identity Lightly (The Scout Mindset, Julia Galef): labels are loose fits. Observe Without Evaluating (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): a label hides what actually happened.
Thinking & Reasoning
Categories Are Halos, Not Boxes
Ch. 1, The Evocation of Words. Page not verified (Basic Books, 2013).
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 17
Plan: When a disagreement turns on what a word 'really means', I will ask for clear examples we both accept and compare the disputed case with those.
categories, definitions, words, labels, fuzzy, concepts, arguments, semantics, examples, prototype, language, meaning, boundaries, debate, expertise, analogy, vocabulary, nuance, thinking, stereotypes
You argue for an hour about whether something 'really is' a sport, an art or a failure. You are treating a fuzzy word as a box with walls.
Next time an argument turns on a definition, stop and ask: 'Which cases do we agree are clear examples? How is this one like and unlike them?'
A concept has no sharp edge. It grows out from a core by analogy, as 'mother' stretches to 'motherland'. Categories are halos, not boxes.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Single Model
Mark Manson
Not started
Support the people close to me without taking over their problems, and own mine without handing them over.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Manson says people with weak boundaries come in two types: those who take responsibility for other people's problems and feelings, and those who expect others to take responsibility for theirs. He calls them the saver and the victim, and says they are drawn to each other. With healthy boundaries, you support your partner without owning their problem, and you can hear and say no. He adds that commitment, saying no to other options, is what gives depth, and that honest disagreement builds trust. Likely to trip me up: Manson says saving and being saved both feel like love at the start. Note: drawn from his earlier writing on relationships and from common therapy ideas, not from studies of his own. (Source: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Ch. 8.)
The Graceful No (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): how to refuse without damage. Your Feelings Come From Your Needs (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): nobody else causes your feelings.
People & Communication
Boundaries: Whose Problem Is It?
Ch. 8, The Importance of Saying No, section 'Boundaries'. Page not verified (HarperOne, 2016).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 14; 12
Plan: When I feel the pull to fix someone's mood, I will ask if they want help or a listener. When I want someone to fix mine, I will say what I feel and what I will do about it.
boundaries, relationships, codependent, fixing, rescuer, victim, saying no, resentment, partner, family, friends, responsibility, feelings, people pleasing, trust, honesty, commitment, support, guilt, needs
You fix everyone's moods and problems, or expect someone to fix yours. Both of you end up resentful and neither grows.
In one close relationship, notice one thing you do out of fear of their reaction. Ask what you would do if you were free to choose.
In a healthy relationship each person owns their own feelings and problems, not the other's. You help by choice, not out of obligation.
Surfaces and Essences
Single Model
Douglas Hofstadter and Emmanuel Sander
Not started
Catch the moments when an old situation is doing my thinking for me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors show how unchosen analogies manipulate us. They discuss how political leaders reasoned about a war by analogy with earlier ones, and how each analogy pointed to a different policy. In daily life, a new person reminds us of someone and inherits our feelings about them. They distinguish a surface resemblance from sharing a deep essence, which gives the book its title. Likely to trip me up: the authors say the first analogy arrives by itself and feels like perception, not like a choice. Note: the political example draws on published historical research. The general claim is an argument from cases. (Source: Surfaces and Essences, Ch. 5.)
What You See Is All There Is (WYSIATI) (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): the mind builds a confident story from little. Lean In to Confusion (The Scout Mindset, Julia Galef): notice where the comparison does not fit.
Biases & Blind Spots
Analogies Steer You Without Asking
Ch. 5, How Analogies Manipulate Us. Page not verified (Basic Books, 2013).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve relationships / communicate
15; 25
Plan: When I hear myself say 'this is just like...', I will list three ways it is different before I act on the comparison.
analogy, bias, assumptions, past experience, history repeats, just like, first impression, reminds me, ex, old job, decisions, surface, essence, projection, expectations, mistakes, stereotypes, judgement, pattern matching, overgeneralise
'This is just like my last job, my ex, the last crash.' One resemblance, and you are replaying the old script in a new situation.
When you catch yourself saying 'this is just like...', list three ways it is not like that. Then decide.
The mind grabs an analogy for a new situation based on surface likeness. That analogy then shapes what you expect and do, mostly unnoticed.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Single Model
Mark Manson
Not started
Spend my care on a short list, and let small irritations pass.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Manson says the point is not indifference. It is being comfortable with being different, and caring about something more important than the adversity in the way. He says people who care about everything feel entitled to be comfortable all the time, and that with age we naturally become more selective. His starting image is a poet who wrote for decades in obscurity and had 'Don't try' carved on his gravestone. Likely to trip me up: Manson says we are surrounded by messages that more is always better, which makes us care about too much. Note: a blogger's philosophy that borrows from Stoic and Buddhist ideas. It rests on stories and argument, not on studies. (Source: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Ch. 1.)
Less but Better (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): choose the few things that matter. Circle of Concern, Circle of Influence (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): put your energy where it can do something.
Mindset & Emotions
Choose What to Care About
Ch. 1, Don't Try. Page not verified (HarperOne, 2016).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Stop comparing / social-media envy
12; 15; 26
Plan: I will write down the five things I most want to care about this year. When something upsets me, I will check the list before I give it any more energy.
care, priorities, values, stress, annoyed, opinions, approval, comparison, energy, attention, selective, indifference, criticism, social media, comfort, entitlement, focus, letting go, what matters, peace
A rude comment, a slow queue, a stranger's opinion online: each gets a piece of you. By evening you are drained and nothing important got done.
Write the five things you most want to care about this year. When something upsets you today, check if it is on the list.
You have only so much care to give. Spend it on everything and none is left for what matters. Choose a few things and let the rest go.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Single Model
Mark Manson
Not started
Act on my problems without waiting for the person at fault to fix them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Manson calls it the responsibility/fault fallacy. His example: if a baby were left on your doorstep, it would not be your fault, and it would now be your responsibility. We do not always control what happens to us. We always control how we interpret it and how we respond. He says taking responsibility for our problems is where real learning and improvement begin. Likely to trip me up: Manson says blaming others gives a quick high and a sense of moral rightness, which he thinks online outrage feeds. Note: an old idea from Stoic and existential writers in plain modern words. Some harm does need others to be held to account, and this model does not replace that. (Source: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Ch. 5.)
The Last of the Human Freedoms (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): you choose your response. The Blame Instinct (Factfulness, Hans Rosling): finding a culprit stops the search for a fix.
Mindset & Emotions
Fault Is Not Responsibility
Ch. 5, You Are Always Choosing, section 'The Responsibility/Fault Fallacy'. Page not verified (HarperOne, 2016).
Improve mental health / be happier; Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety
04; 25; 12
Plan: For each thing I resent, I will write two lines: whose fault it was, and what I can do about it now. I will act on the second line.
responsibility, fault, blame, victim, control, response, unfair, resentment, choice, ownership, past, present, problems, stuck, anger, outrage, accountability, circumstances, moving on, agency
Something unfair happened to you. You wait for the person at fault to fix it, and your life stays on hold while you wait.
Take one problem you blame on someone else. Write one thing you could do about it this week, whoever caused it.
Fault looks back: who caused this? Responsibility looks forward: who will deal with it? What is not your fault can still be yours to handle.
Grit
Single Model
Angela Duckworth
Not started
Find more meaning in the work I already do, before deciding it has none.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duckworth retells the parable of three bricklayers: one is laying bricks, one is building a church, one is building the house of God. She reports research by Amy Wrzesniewski showing that people in the same occupation split roughly evenly between seeing it as a job, a career or a calling, and that those with a calling are more satisfied and miss less work. Wrzesniewski's idea of job crafting is to adjust your tasks, your relationships and your view of the work so that it connects to your values. Duckworth also reports that gritty people are more motivated by purpose, meaning benefit to others. Likely to trip me up: Duckworth says a calling is not found fully formed. It takes years to develop, which is frustrating when the job feels wrong now. Note: the calling research is survey-based. Crafting has limits when a job is truly a bad fit. (Source: Grit, Ch. 8.)
A Why to Live For (the Will to Meaning) (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): meaning makes hard things bearable. Money Is Life Energy (Your Real Hourly Wage) (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): what the job really costs and gives.
Mindset & Emotions
Job Crafting
Ch. 8, Purpose. Page not verified (Scribner, 2016).
Improve mental health / be happier; Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety
04; 13; 12
Plan: I will write down who my current work helps, pick one task to do more of and one working relationship to invest in, and review how the job feels after a month.
job, career, calling, purpose, meaning, work, job crafting, bored at work, hate my job, motivation, bricklayers, helping others, tasks, colleagues, reframe, engagement, satisfaction, burnout, values, contribution
You feel your work is pointless and think the only cure is a new job. Meanwhile you change nothing about the one you have.
Write how your current work helps another person. Then pick one task to do more of and one relationship at work to invest in this week.
One job can be a chore, a career or a calling. You can often reshape its tasks, its people and its meaning to move it towards a calling.
On Writing
Single Model
Stephen King
Not started
Get the basic tools of my craft solid, so hard jobs do not throw me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: King tells how his uncle carried a huge handmade toolbox all the way round the house to fix one screen, in case he found something else to do once he was there. King says writers should build their own toolbox and the muscle to carry it. On the top shelf he puts vocabulary and grammar, and below them elements of style such as the paragraph. His advice is plain: use the first word that comes to mind if it is right, avoid the passive voice, and cut adverbs. Likely to trip me up: King says people dress up their vocabulary out of shame at plain words, and that fear is at the root of most bad writing. Note: a novelist's craft advice from experience, not research. (Source: On Writing, 'Toolbox'.)
Making Smaller Circles (The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin): depth in the basics beats a bag of tricks. The Latticework of Mental Models (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): carry more than one tool.
Learning & Knowledge
The Toolbox
Section 'Toolbox'. Page not verified (Scribner, 2000).
Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
17; 25
Plan: I will list the basic tools of scripting and speaking, rate myself on each, and give my weekly practice to the weakest one.
basics, tools, fundamentals, writing, grammar, vocabulary, plain words, craft, skills, preparation, style, adverbs, passive voice, clarity, practice, confidence, simple, toolbox, editing, communication
You want to do advanced work and skip the basics. When a job gets hard you have nothing to reach for, and you lose heart.
List the five basic tools of your craft. Rate yourself on each. Spend this week's practice on the weakest.
Build a toolbox of basics and carry all of it with you. Then a hard job does not discourage you. You reach for the right tool and begin.
Originals
Single Model
Adam Grant
Not started
Take my creative risk from a stable base, so that one slow year does not end it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Grant reports a study that followed thousands of American entrepreneurs for over a decade. Those who kept their day jobs while starting a company were about a third less likely to fail than those who quit. He gives examples of founders and artists who held on to regular jobs for years after their first success. His explanation is that security in one area frees us to be original in another, without pressure to rush out half-done work. Likely to trip me up: Grant says our picture of the entrepreneur is the bold gambler, so caution feels like a lack of commitment. Note: one large observational study plus examples. Cautious founders may differ from those who quit in other ways too. (Source: Originals, Ch. 1.)
Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): survive first, then grow. Be Boring (Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon): a steady life funds the risky work.
Decision-Making & Risk
Keep a Balanced Risk Portfolio
Ch. 1, Creative Destruction: The Risky Business of Going Against the Grain. Page not verified (Viking, 2016).
Build emergency fund / invest; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill
20; 27; 17
Plan: I will decide which parts of my life stay fixed while I build the new thing, and set a savings cushion target before any big leap.
risk, day job, quit, entrepreneur, side project, safety net, startup, security, leap, savings, caution, portfolio, hedge, career change, stability, originality, fear, all in, gamble, founder
You think doing something new means going all in: quit, bet the savings, burn the boats. So you either never start, or you start and sink.
Name the one risk you most want to take. Then list what you will keep stable while you take it: income, routine, savings.
Originals are rarely reckless. They take a big risk in one part of life and balance it with safety in another, like a steady income.
On Writing
Single Model
Stephen King
Not started
Keep my project in its place, so that it serves my life and the people in it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: King describes his years of heavy drinking and drug use, during which he wrote at a massive desk in the middle of his study. His family confronted him, and he got sober. Afterwards he replaced the desk with a smaller one in a corner, and made the rest of the room a place where his children came to watch films and eat pizza. He tells writers to put their desk in the corner and to remember why: life is not a support system for art, it is the other way round. He also rejects the idea that creative work needs drink or drugs. Likely to trip me up: King says he feared he could not write sober, and found the fear was false. Note: one man's story, told in a memoir. (Source: On Writing, 'C.V.'.)
Do Things for Their Own Sake (Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman): not every hour has to serve the work. P/PC Balance (Sharpen the Saw) (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): look after the life that produces the work.
Mindset & Emotions
Put Your Desk in the Corner
Section 'C.V.' (closing pages). Page not verified (Scribner, 2000).
Spend time with family/friends; Drink less alcohol; Improve mental health / be happier
14; 11; 04
Plan: I will set fixed hours for the project and keep evenings and one full day a week for family and friends. I will check each month whether the project has crept into the middle.
work-life balance, family, priorities, desk, obsession, workaholic, alcohol, addiction, sobriety, art, career, children, marriage, centre, boundaries, creativity myth, drinking, home, time, meaning
Your project sits in the centre of everything. Family, health and friends fit around its edges, and you call that dedication.
Look at where your work sits in your home and your week. Move one thing, a desk or a time slot, out of the centre.
Work is there to support your life, not the reverse. Keep it in a corner of the room, and leave the middle for the people you live with.
On Writing
Single Model
Stephen King
Not started
Finish first drafts in private, then revise them for a real reader.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: King got the rule from his first newspaper editor: write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open. The first draft is for working out the story, fast, with no outside opinions to stall it. Then he lets it rest for about six weeks, reads it fresh, and rewrites for readers, with one ideal reader in mind. Only then does he show it to a few trusted people. Likely to trip me up: King says the urge to show people early is a wish for praise, and that praise or doubt at that stage lets the pressure out of the work. Note: one novelist's method. Studios such as Pixar do the reverse and show work daily, which may suit teams better than solo drafts. (Source: On Writing, 'C.V.' and 'On Writing'.)
The Ugly Baby and the Hungry Beast (Creativity, Inc., Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace): shelter new work early. Dailies: Show Unfinished Work (Creativity, Inc., Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace): the opposite advice, for teams.
Creativity & Ideas
Door Closed, Then Door Open
Sections 'C.V.' and 'On Writing'. Page not verified (Scribner, 2000).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus
27; 07
Plan: I will tell nobody about a piece until the first draft is done. I will let it rest, then revise with one specific viewer in mind, and only then show a few trusted people.
first draft, privacy, feedback, revision, rewrite, reader, audience, showing work, praise, criticism, drafts, editing, rest, ideal reader, creative process, momentum, secrecy, writing, finish, stages
You show half-made work too early and one raised eyebrow kills it. Or you polish for an audience before you know what you are saying.
For your next piece, tell nobody until the first draft is done. Then let it rest, and revise with one specific reader in mind.
Write the first draft with the door closed, for yourself alone. Rewrite with the door open, for the reader. Do not mix the two stages.
Grit
Single Model
Angela Duckworth
Not started
Stay with one hard thing past the point where I usually quit.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duckworth describes the rule her family follows. First, everyone, parents included, must do a hard thing that takes regular deliberate practice. Second, you can quit, but not until the season is over or the tuition runs out, never on a bad day. Third, you pick your own hard thing, since nobody sticks with something they have no interest in. She cites research that young people who stayed with an activity for more than a year did better later in life. Likely to trip me up: Duckworth says the urge to quit peaks right after a bad practice or a harsh comment, which is the one moment the rule forbids it. Note: the follow-through research is correlational. Young people who stick with things may differ in other ways. (Source: Grit, Ch. 11.)
Commitment and Consistency (Influence, Robert Cialdini): a stated commitment holds you. Stay on the Bus (Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman): the good part comes after the stretch where you want to get off.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Hard Thing Rule
Ch. 11, The Playing Fields of Grit. Page not verified (Scribner, 2016).
Exercise / move daily; Learn a skill / upskill; Spend time with family/friends
01; 17; 14
Plan: I will choose one hard thing, fix its natural end point in advance, tell someone, and rule that I may only decide to stop at that point, never on a bad day.
quit, quitting, persistence, commitment, hard thing, family rule, practice, children, parenting, season, follow through, bad day, discipline, hobby, instrument, sport, course, finish, grit, perseverance
You start the course, the instrument, the running plan, and quit the first week it feels bad. You never stay long enough to get good.
Choose your one hard thing and its natural end point, such as the end of the term or the race date. Tell someone.
Everyone picks one hard thing that needs regular practice. You cannot quit on a bad day, only at a natural end point. You choose your own.
Surfaces and Essences
Single Model
Douglas Hofstadter and Emmanuel Sander
Not started
Get unstuck by restating problems at a different level.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors describe how we constantly shift between levels of abstraction, and how the same object belongs to many categories at once. Moving up a level lets you see that two different-looking situations are the same kind of thing. Moving down lets you see the differences that matter. They say experts differ from novices in how fluidly they do this, and that creative leaps often come from recategorising something at a new level. Likely to trip me up: the authors say we tend to lock on to the first category that comes to mind. Note: a theoretical argument with many examples, not an experimental result. (Source: Surfaces and Essences, Ch. 4.)
Exaptation (Where Good Ideas Come From, Steven Johnson): see a wine press as 'a thing that presses' and new uses appear. Chunking (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): experts pack detail into higher-level units.
Thinking & Reasoning
Slide Up and Down the Ladder of Abstraction
Ch. 4, Abstraction and Inter-category Sliding. Page not verified (Basic Books, 2013).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: When I am stuck I will write the problem three ways: as given, one level more general, and one level more specific. I will look for known solutions at the general level and next steps at the specific one.
abstraction, levels, reframe, restate, problem solving, general, specific, categories, stuck, zoom out, zoom in, perspective, expertise, creativity, transfer, analogy, concepts, thinking, insight, framing
You are stuck on a problem as first described. You never restate it more generally, where known solutions exist, or more specifically, where you can act.
Write your problem in one sentence. Rewrite it one level more general, then one level more specific. See which version suggests a next step.
Anything can be seen at many levels: this mug, a container, a gift. Good thinking moves freely between levels to find the one that helps.
On Writing
Single Model
Stephen King
Not started
Make my scripts tighter by cutting on every revision.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: King says he was a putter-in by nature until a rejection slip came back with a handwritten note: not bad, but puffy, and a formula: second draft equals first draft minus ten percent. He says he has followed it ever since. He pairs it with the old advice to cut the parts you love when they do not serve the story. Likely to trip me up: King says the hardest cuts are the lines you are proudest of. Note: a rule of thumb from one writer. (Source: On Writing, 'On Writing'.)
Creativity Is Subtraction (Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon): choose what to leave out. Less but Better (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): fewer things, done well.
Creativity & Ideas
Second Draft = First Draft Minus 10%
Section 'On Writing'. Page not verified (Scribner, 2000).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised
25; 13
Plan: I will record the word count of each first draft and set the second draft's target at ninety percent of it.
editing, cut, concise, revision, second draft, word count, tighten, puffy, writing, scripts, emails, reports, clarity, darlings, brevity, trim, rewrite, focus, less, rule
Your revisions only add. The draft swells with everything you know, and the point gets buried.
Take your last piece of writing. Note its word count. Cut ten percent without losing the point.
Whatever you made, the second version should be about a tenth shorter. Cutting what does not serve the point makes the rest stronger.
Creativity, Inc.
Single Model
Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace
Not started
Find my mistakes early by trying things, and stop paying for them late by over-planning.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Catmull says mistakes are an inevitable consequence of doing something new, so a team with no failures is making a worse error: it is being driven by the wish to avoid them. He quotes a director's mottos: fail early and fail fast, and be wrong as fast as you can. He says over-planners take just as long to be wrong, and feel more crushed when it happens. He also says the cost of preventing every error is often far higher than the cost of fixing them. Likely to trip me up: Catmull says people were punished for failing at school, so the fear is deep, and leaders have to show their own mistakes before others feel safe. Note: a manager's account of one studio. Failing fast suits work where a mistake is cheap to undo, and not where one could be dangerous. (Source: Creativity, Inc., Ch. 6.)
Investment in Loss (The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin): be willing to lose in order to learn. Run Your Day as an Experiment (Make Time, Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky): treat each try as data.
Mindset & Emotions
Uncouple Fear and Failure
Ch. 6, Fear and Failure. Page not verified (Random House, 2014).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 07; 17
Plan: For each new project I will make a rough first version within a week, list what was wrong with it, and treat that list as the real plan.
failure, mistakes, fear, fail fast, experiment, risk, planning, overplanning, learning, iteration, prototype, blame, safety, trust, new, try, errors, courage, perfectionism, progress
You plan for months to avoid any mistake. When you finally act, you make the same mistakes anyway, only later and at greater cost.
Pick one thing you have been over-planning. Do a rough version today so you can find out where it is wrong.
Mistakes are not a necessary evil. They are what doing anything new looks like. Make them early and cheaply, and take the fear out.
The Creative Act
Single Model
Rick Rubin with Neil Strauss
Not started
Work out which of the two I am, and practise the other one's strength.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rubin describes two temperaments. Experimenters are dreamers who enjoy play and find it hard to complete and release work. Finishers move quickly to the end point with little interest in other possibilities. He says each can learn from the other: experimenters can practise finishing one small part to build momentum, and finishers can give more time to the early phases before they commit. Likely to trip me up: Rubin's point implies that my natural mode feels like the right way to work, so the other one will feel wrong at first. Note: a short reflection from a music producer, not a tested typology. (Source: The Creative Act, 'The Experimenter and the Finisher'.)
The 85 Percent Solution (I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ramit Sethi): ship at good enough. Turning Pro (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): the professional finishes.
Productivity & Focus
The Experimenter and the Finisher
Chapter 'The Experimenter and the Finisher'. Starts on p. 205 (Penguin Press, 2023).
Beat procrastination / focus; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised
07; 27; 13
Plan: I will count my unfinished and released projects to see which way I lean. Then I will set one small exercise a week in the opposite mode.
finish, explore, experiment, unfinished projects, shipping, completion, perfectionism, rushing, temperament, self-knowledge, balance, drafts, ideas, deadline, release, play, focus, procrastination, habits, style
You have ten half-made projects and nothing released. Or you ship fast every time and your work never surprises anyone.
Decide which type you are. If you are an experimenter, finish one small thing today. If you are a finisher, spend an hour exploring with no goal.
Experimenters love to explore and struggle to finish. Finishers rush to the end and explore too little. Each should borrow from the other.
Show Your Work!
Single Model
Austin Kleon
Not started
Spend more of my time with people and things that leave me with energy, and less with those that drain it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kleon takes the test from a story about a sculptor who sorted people this way: if you feel worn out after being with someone, that person is a vampire, and if you feel full of energy, they are not. Kleon says the test also works for jobs, hobbies and places. In the same chapter he says that if you want good people around you, be a fan first and be worth following, and meet online friends in person. Likely to trip me up: Kleon says vampires cannot be cured, so the only fix is to see less of them, which is awkward with old friends and colleagues. Note: a rule of thumb from an artist's manifesto. Someone can drain you today for reasons that are not about them, such as your own tiredness. (Source: Show Your Work!, Ch. 7.)
The Graceful No (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): how to step back without a scene. Conversation, Not Connection (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): real talk feeds you and feeds do not.
People & Communication
The Vampire Test
Ch. 7, Don't Turn Into Human Spam. Page not verified (Workman, 2014).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety; Cut phone / social-media use
14; 25; 12; 06
Plan: For two weeks I will jot down how I feel after each meeting, call and online session. Then I will cut back the drains and book more of the rest.
energy, people, drained, friends, toxic, relationships, boundaries, networking, time, social, vampire, company, tired, uplifting, circle, jobs, places, feeds, choose, community
You keep giving evenings to people, groups and feeds that leave you flat. You call it networking or loyalty.
After your next three meetings or calls, note in one word how you feel. Look for the pattern at the end of the week.
After time with a person, notice your energy. If you feel drained, they are a vampire for you. If you feel more alive, they are not.
Where Good Ideas Come From
Single Model
Steven Johnson
Not started
Work from what I have now, and let each step open the next.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Johnson borrows the term from the biologist Stuart Kauffman. He pictures a house that grows with every door you open: each new room has doors to rooms you could not reach before. He shows that the same inventions often appear in several places at once, since the needed parts have just become available. Ideas that jump too far ahead, such as a nineteenth-century design for a programmable computer, fail for lack of parts. His advice is to collect more spare parts and look for new ways to combine them. Likely to trip me up: Johnson's point is humbling. Some of what I want is not reachable yet, however hard I push. Note: Johnson is a science writer arguing from historical cases. It is pattern-spotting, not experiment. (Source: Where Good Ideas Come From, Ch. 1.)
New combinations (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): ideas are old parts joined in a new way. The Domino Effect (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller): each step makes the next one possible.
Creativity & Ideas
The Adjacent Possible
Ch. 1, The Adjacent Possible. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2010).
Learn a skill / upskill; Beat procrastination / focus
17; 07
Plan: I will keep a list of my current 'spare parts': skills, tools, contacts and old ideas. Each month I will ask what new combination they now allow.
adjacent possible, next step, innovation, ideas, progress, building blocks, spare parts, timing, ahead of its time, combination, doors, explore, skills, resources, incremental, invention, stuck, possibility, goal, start
You dream of the finished thing ten steps away, find you cannot build it, and feel stuck. You overlook the step that is open right now.
For one big goal, list the parts and skills you already have. Ask what new thing you could make from only those, this week.
Only certain next steps are open to you at any moment. Each one you take opens more. Work the edge of what is possible now.
Big Magic
Single Model
Elizabeth Gilbert
Not started
When I feel flat, follow small curiosities, and stop waiting for a grand passion.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gilbert says telling people to follow their passion can be cruel, since in low times passion is exactly what is missing. Curiosity asks a smaller question: is there anything you are interested in, even a little? She tells how a mild interest in gardening led her to the history of plants, then to botanical explorers, and in the end to a novel. She calls it a scavenger hunt, one clue at a time. Likely to trip me up: Gilbert says curiosity is quiet and easy to dismiss as trivial, and that following it may lead nowhere, which has to be acceptable. Note: one writer's experience. It matches David Epstein's case in Range for sampling widely, and cuts against advice to find a single calling. (Source: Big Magic, Part V: Trust.)
The Life's Task (Mastery, Robert Greene): the opposite advice, to look for one calling. Test and Learn (Flirt with Your Possible Selves) (Range, David Epstein): try small things and see what fits.
Creativity & Ideas
Curiosity Over Passion
Part V, Trust. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2015).
Learn a skill / upskill; Improve mental health / be happier; Read / learn more
17; 04; 09
Plan: I will keep a running list of small things that catch my interest and give one of them a little time each week, with no demand that it lead anywhere.
curiosity, passion, purpose, lost, flat, interest, explore, scavenger hunt, small steps, direction, career, hobby, burnout, motivation, calling, follow your passion, clues, wonder, learning, stuck
You feel flat and have no burning passion to chase. You conclude there is something wrong with you, and do nothing.
Ask yourself: is there anything I am even a tiny bit curious about right now? Spend fifteen minutes on it today.
'Follow your passion' is no help when you do not feel one. Follow curiosity: any small thing that interests you a little. It leads on.
Big Magic
Single Model
Elizabeth Gilbert
Not started
Finish and release work at good enough, and treat my perfectionism as fear to manage, not a standard to meet.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gilbert calls perfectionism a high-end version of fear: fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat, pretending to be elegant when it is just terrified. She says it stops people completing work and, worse, stops them beginning it, since they decide in advance it will never be good enough. Her rule, learned from her mother, is that done is better than good. She describes herself as disciplined about finishing, not about being perfect. Likely to trip me up: Gilbert says perfectionism is hard to give up since it feels like a virtue and gets praised as one. Note: a novelist's view. Research does link perfectionism with procrastination and distress, though it separates high standards from harsh self-criticism. (Source: Big Magic, Part IV: Persistence.)
Dare to Be Average (Feeling Good, David Burns): aim lower on purpose and watch output rise. Casualties of Perfection (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): a little slack beats a perfect plan.
Mindset & Emotions
Perfectionism Is Fear in Fancy Shoes
Part IV, Persistence. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2015).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus; Improve mental health / be happier
27; 07; 04
Plan: Every piece gets a finish date and a limit on revisions. When I want one more pass, I will ask what I am afraid of.
perfectionism, fear, done, good enough, finish, ship, standards, procrastination, polishing, never ready, release, publish, self-criticism, flaws, mistakes, high standards, stuck, drafts, completion, courage
You call yourself a perfectionist as if it were a virtue. Meanwhile nothing leaves your hands, since nothing is ever good enough.
Take one thing you have been polishing. Set a timer for thirty minutes, finish it to 'good enough', and send it.
Perfectionism looks like high standards. Gilbert says it is fear dressed up. It stops you finishing, and often stops you starting.
Big Magic
Single Model
Elizabeth Gilbert
Not started
Stop waiting for outside approval before I make and publish things.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gilbert says you do not need anybody's permission to live a creative life. She argues that making things is an ordinary human activity, not the preserve of a chosen few. She says your work does not have to be original, since most things have been done, only authentic. It does not have to be important or help anyone. She also advises against going into heavy debt for an arts degree in order to feel legitimate. Likely to trip me up: Gilbert says the inner voice asking 'who do you think you are?' never fully goes away, and must be answered each time. Note: encouragement from a successful novelist. It is a stance, not a finding. (Source: Big Magic, Part III: Permission.)
Start Before You Know Who You Are (Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon): begin now and find out on the way. Territory, Not Hierarchy (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): work for the work, not for rank.
Mindset & Emotions
You Don't Need a Permission Slip
Part III, Permission. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2015).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill; Reduce debt / control spending
27; 17; 22
Plan: I will list the permissions I think I am waiting for, cross out the ones nobody can give, and start on one project without them.
permission, allowed, imposter, gatekeepers, degree, qualification, original, authentic, entitlement, belonging, hobby, art, creativity, validation, approval, debt, mfa, start, legitimate, self-doubt
You are waiting for someone to tell you that you are allowed: a qualification, a publisher, a sign that you are good enough.
Write yourself a one-line permission slip for the thing you want to make. Sign it, and do twenty minutes of it today.
You do not need a degree, a gatekeeper or an original idea to make things. Being alive and curious is permission enough.
Where Good Ideas Come From
Single Model
Steven Johnson
Not started
Put my ideas in contact with other people's more often.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Johnson says a good idea is a network, both of cells in the brain and of people. He uses the states of matter: in a solid nothing moves, in a gas things fly apart, and in a liquid new links form and hold. Cities and coffeehouses work this way. He reports a study of research labs which found that most breakthroughs came not alone at the microscope but at the regular lab meeting, as people talked through problems and results. Likely to trip me up: Johnson notes that group brainstorming sessions often disappoint. What helps is steady, informal contact over time, which takes effort to set up. Note: historical cases plus one observational study of labs. (Source: Where Good Ideas Come From, Ch. 2.)
Scenius (Show Your Work!, Austin Kleon): the artist's word for the same thing. Conversation, Not Connection (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): real talk is where ideas mix.
People & Communication
Liquid Networks
Ch. 2, Liquid Networks. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2010).
Spend time with family/friends; Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
14; 17; 25
Plan: I will set up a regular, informal meeting with a few people from different fields where we each bring one problem. I will also talk through half-formed ideas sooner.
network, conversation, collaboration, coffeehouse, city, ideas, mixing, diverse, colleagues, friends, isolation, remote work, lab meeting, brainstorm, community, serendipity, connections, interdisciplinary, talk, sharing
You work alone all week and wait for a flash of insight. Or you sit in rigid meetings where nothing new can come up.
Arrange one unhurried conversation this week with someone from a different field. Tell them what you are stuck on.
Ideas form when many different minds can bump into each other often. Too rigid and nothing new mixes. Too scattered and nothing sticks.
Creativity, Inc.
Single Model
Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace
Not started
Put more care into who I work with, and how, than into finding the perfect idea.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Catmull, a founder of the animation studio Pixar, tells how an early sequel was failing under one team and was remade in nine months by another. His lesson is that a mediocre team will spoil a good idea, and a great team will fix a mediocre one or replace it with something better. He says ideas come from people, so people matter more, and what counts most is how they work together, not only how talented each one is. Likely to trip me up: Catmull says simple slogans such as 'trust the process' can become a substitute for thinking. The process is only the people. Note: this is a company president's account of his own company, first published in 2014. An expanded edition with later reflections came out in 2023. (Source: Creativity, Inc., Ch. 4.)
Scenius (Show Your Work!, Austin Kleon): good work comes out of a group. A Truthseeking Group (Thinking in Bets, Annie Duke): agree the rules of the group before you need them.
People & Communication
People Over Ideas
Ch. 4, Establishing Pixar's Identity. Page not verified (Random House, 2014).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised; Spend time with family/friends
25; 13; 14
Plan: Before starting any shared project I will ask who the right people are and agree how we will give each other feedback. Ideas come second.
team, people, ideas, collaboration, hiring, partners, chemistry, trust, execution, co-founder, group project, talent, culture, leadership, working together, friends, quality, problem solving, process, relationships
You hunt for the perfect idea, plan or tool. You give little thought to who you are doing it with, or how well you work together.
For one project, write down who is on it and one thing that would help you work better together. Do that thing this week.
A good team will fix a weak idea or replace it. A weak team will ruin a good idea. Get the people and how they work together right first.
Where Good Ideas Come From
Single Model
Steven Johnson
Not started
Keep my half-formed ideas alive long enough for them to meet the missing piece.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Johnson says sudden flashes are rare. Most important ideas start as a partial hunch that needs time, and another hunch, to complete it. He shows from Darwin's notebooks that the theory of natural selection took shape over many months, though Darwin later remembered it as a single moment. He describes the old practice of the commonplace book, where readers copied passages and notes, indexed them, and reread them, so that old hunches could meet new ones. Likely to trip me up: Johnson says hunches are fragile and get lost among daily tasks. Writing them down is easy. Going back to read them is the part people skip. Note: historical cases, not experiment. (Source: Where Good Ideas Come From, Ch. 3.)
Open Loops (Capture Everything) (Getting Things Done, David Allen): get it out of your head and on to paper. Focused and Diffuse Modes (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): ideas ripen while you are off task.
Creativity & Ideas
The Slow Hunch
Ch. 3, The Slow Hunch. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2010).
Journal / self-reflect; Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
24; 09; 17
Plan: I will keep a single hunch file, add to it daily without judging, and reread the whole thing once a month to look for links.
hunch, notebook, journal, commonplace book, ideas, notes, slow, patience, incubation, write it down, review, half-formed, eureka, insight, capture, memory, connect, years, reflection, creativity
You have a half-idea in the shower and lose it by lunch. You expect ideas to arrive complete, so you discard the partial ones.
Start one notebook or file for hunches. Write today's half-ideas in it. Put a monthly reminder to read it all again.
Most big ideas begin as vague hunches that take years to mature. Keep them alive by writing them down and rereading your notes.
The Creative Act
Single Model
Rick Rubin with Neil Strauss
Not started
Use my best ideas now, and stop treating each piece as the one that must say everything.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rubin pictures a river of material flowing through us. When we share our work, it is replenished. When we hold it in, the river cannot run and new ideas are slow to appear. He says living in scarcity leads to hoarding ideas and to treating each work as the one that defines us for ever, which makes it impossible to finish. In abundance, each work is only a snapshot of who you are at that moment. Likely to trip me up: Rubin says the fear is that the well will run dry. That fear feels most real just after a success. Note: a belief drawn from one producer's career, stated in spiritual terms. It cannot be tested directly. (Source: The Creative Act, 'The Abundant Mindset'.)
Share Something Small Every Day (Show Your Work!, Austin Kleon): the daily habit that keeps the river moving. Ideas Move On (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): a mystical version of the same warning about sitting on ideas.
Mindset & Emotions
The Abundant Mindset
Chapter 'The Abundant Mindset'. Starts on p. 201 (Penguin Press, 2023).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus
27; 07
Plan: I will keep no 'saved for later' list. Good ideas go into the next piece. Each piece is one chapter of many, so it can be finished and left.
abundance, scarcity, ideas, hoarding, release, flow, best idea, saving, finish, next project, creativity, fear, perfectionism, definitive, output, sharing, letting go, river, trust, momentum
You save your best idea for 'the right time'. You overwork each piece as if it were your last. Output slows to nothing.
Take your 'best idea I am saving'. Use it this week. Trust that using it makes room for the next.
Ideas are not scarce. Holding work back in case you never have another good one blocks the flow. Release it and more comes.
The Creative Act
Single Model
Rick Rubin with Neil Strauss
Not started
Be hard on my drafts and easy on myself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rubin draws a line between doubting the work and doubting yourself. His example of the first is wondering if a song is as good as it could be. His example of the second is believing you cannot write a good song. He says the first kind can lead to better work, and the second leads to hopelessness. He adds that insecurity is common among the great artists he has worked with, and that flaws are often what make a work loved. Likely to trip me up: Rubin says sensitive people, who make good artists, are also the ones most hurt by criticism, so the slide from the work to the self is fast. Note: a producer's reflection. It agrees with research that praise and criticism aimed at the process work better than those aimed at the person. (Source: The Creative Act, 'Self-Doubt'.)
Praise the Process, Not the Person (Mindset, Carol Dweck): judge the work, not the self. The Ten Cognitive Distortions (Feeling Good, David Burns): labelling yourself is one of them.
Mindset & Emotions
Doubt the Work, Not Yourself
Chapter 'Self-Doubt'. Starts on p. 73 (Penguin Press, 2023).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop overthinking / rumination
27; 04; 15
Plan: In reviews I will write notes about the piece in the third person, as if it were someone else's, and ban sentences that start with 'I am'.
self-doubt, confidence, criticism, inner critic, imposter, work, identity, drafts, improvement, insecurity, feedback, not good enough, separate, flaws, creativity, shame, growth, quality, judgement, self-talk
One weak draft turns into 'I am no good at this.' You stop, and the draft never gets the second pass it needed.
Catch one 'I am bad at this' thought today. Rewrite it as a statement about the work: 'this part is not working yet because...'
Doubting the work helps: 'this is not as good as it can be yet.' Doubting yourself harms: 'I cannot make anything good.' Keep the first.
Big Magic
Single Model
Elizabeth Gilbert
Not started
Act on ideas while I still have energy for them, or release them cleanly.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gilbert describes a novel she planned, neglected for two years, and lost her feel for. Later she found that a friend, another novelist, was writing a book with a strikingly similar plot, begun around the time Gilbert's had faded. She takes from this that ideas are a kind of living thing that visit people, and move on when ignored. Her practical advice is to say a clear yes or no to an idea and, if yes, to show up for it. Likely to trip me up: Gilbert says inspiration owes us nothing, and that losing an idea to someone else is no reason for bitterness. Note: Gilbert says openly that this is magical thinking and that she believes it. There is no evidence that ideas have a will. There is a well-documented plain version: many inventions and discoveries have been made by several people at once, since the same ingredients were available to all of them. (Source: Big Magic, Part II: Enchantment.)
The Adjacent Possible (Where Good Ideas Come From, Steven Johnson): a non-magical account of why two people get the same idea. Good Luck Follows Action (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): chances go to those who move.
Creativity & Ideas
Ideas Move On
Part II, Enchantment. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2015).
Beat procrastination / focus; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
07; 27
Plan: I will keep a short list of live ideas. Each month, every idea gets either a first concrete step or a deliberate goodbye.
ideas, inspiration, act now, delay, someone else did it, timing, enthusiasm, neglect, commitment, muse, creativity, project, sitting on it, regret, start, magic, multiple discovery, energy, yes or no, release
You have had 'your idea' for years and told yourself you will get to it. One day you see that someone else has made it.
Pick the idea you have sat on longest. Either give it one real hour today, or let it go out loud and free your attention.
Gilbert's belief is that ideas look for a human partner, and if you do not act, they leave for someone else. Treat a live idea as urgent.
Show Your Work!
Single Model
Austin Kleon
Not started
Stop trying to be a lone genius and become a useful member of a scene.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kleon borrows the word scenius from the musician Brian Eno. Eno's point is that many people we call lone geniuses were part of a whole scene of people who supported each other, looked at each other's work, copied and contributed ideas. Kleon says being valuable in a scene is about what you contribute, not how talented you are. He also praises the amateur, who works for love, is willing to look foolish, and learns in public. Likely to trip me up: Kleon says we stay silent until we feel like experts, but the only way to find your voice is to use it. Note: a short manifesto by a working artist, built on quotes and experience, not research. (Source: Show Your Work!, Ch. 1.)
A Truthseeking Group (Thinking in Bets, Annie Duke): a small scene built for honest feedback. Liquid Networks (Where Good Ideas Come From, Steven Johnson): why ideas need many minds in contact.
People & Communication
Scenius
Ch. 1, You Don't Have to Be a Genius. Page not verified (Workman, 2014).
Learn a skill / upskill; Spend time with family/friends; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 14; 27
Plan: I will pick two communities of people who make what I make, contribute something useful each week, and note what I learn from their work.
scenius, community, genius, amateur, scene, collaboration, peers, share, contribute, network, creators, lone wolf, imposter, belonging, online community, feedback, friends, talent, voice, beginners
You think you need to be a genius to make anything worth sharing. So you work alone, in secret, and compare yourself with legends.
Find one online or local group where people in your field share work. Post one useful thing there today.
Great work rarely comes from a lone genius. It comes from a scene of people who share, copy and push each other. Find yours and add to it.
Show Your Work!
Single Model
Austin Kleon
Not started
Stay in the game long enough for the work to find its people.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kleon says the people who get what they are after are very often the ones who stick around long enough, so do not quit your show. To keep momentum he says not to stop between projects: ask what you missed or could have done better, and jump straight into the next. He balances this with going away so you can come back, citing a designer who closes his studio for a year every seven years. For the rest of us he suggests small daily breaks: the commute, exercise, time in nature. Likely to trip me up: Kleon says you cannot count on success, only leave open the possibility for it. That is thin comfort after a flop. Note: advice from one artist's experience. We do not hear from those who stuck around and still failed. (Source: Show Your Work!, Ch. 10.)
Stay on the Bus (Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman): original work comes after the stretch where you look like everyone else. P/PC Balance (Sharpen the Saw) (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): rest is part of producing.
Mindset & Emotions
Stick Around
Ch. 10, Stick Around. Page not verified (Workman, 2014).
Be more productive / organised; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Spend more time outdoors
13; 27; 18
Plan: I will line up the next project before the current one ends. I will also build in daily breaks away from screens, such as a walk, and plan one longer break a year.
persistence, quit, momentum, long game, consistency, failure, flop, next project, sabbatical, break, rest, burnout, walk, nature, start again, patience, career, years, keep going, renewal
A project flops or lands quietly. You take it as a verdict, stop for months, and lose all momentum.
When you finish your current piece, write down one thing you would do better, and start the next piece with that, this week.
Many who succeed simply stayed in the game longer. Do not quit early, roll each project into the next, and step away at times to refill.
The Creative Act
Single Model
Rick Rubin with Neil Strauss
Not started
Judge my work by my own standard at the moment I release it, not by numbers or by other creators.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rubin says success is a private matter. It happens at the moment you judge the work ready and let it go, before anyone else has reacted. Everything after that is outside your control, and popularity is a poor measure of quality. On competition, he says art is not a contest, since each work reflects its maker and cannot be ranked against another. He welcomes rivalry only as inspiration, the way great bands of the 1960s pushed each other to do better work, and suggests competing only with your own past work. Likely to trip me up: Rubin accepts that artists need to earn a living, and the outside scoreboard is loud and always on. Note: a producer's philosophy, not research. (Source: The Creative Act, 'Success' and 'Non-Competition'.)
Territory, Not Hierarchy (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): do the work for its own sake, not for rank. Man in the Car Paradox (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): nobody is watching you as closely as you think.
Mindset & Emotions
Success Is Private
Chapters 'Success' (p. 219) and 'Non-Competition' (p. 237) (Penguin Press, 2023).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Cut phone / social-media use
26; 27; 04; 06
Plan: I will rate each piece privately before it goes out, and compare it only with my own earlier work. I will check stats once a week, not hourly.
success, comparison, likes, views, metrics, envy, competition, rivals, validation, numbers, popularity, self-worth, release, pride, social media, creators, inner scorecard, jealousy, audience, art
You post something and refresh the numbers all day. A rival's bigger numbers ruin work you were proud of an hour ago.
Before you publish your next piece, write down if you think it is good and why. Do not look at the numbers for a day.
Success happens when you finish work you believe in and let it go, before anyone reacts. Sales, likes and rivals are a different game.
Creativity, Inc.
Single Model
Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace
Not started
Get frank notes on my drafts from people who know the craft, while keeping the decisions mine.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Catmull says that early on, all of Pixar's films were bad, and the job was to get them from bad to good. The tool was the Braintrust: a group of experienced storytellers who watch a film in progress every few months and say candidly what is not working. Two features matter. The members are peers who know the craft. And they have no authority: the director does not have to follow any note. He says a good note says what is wrong or unclear, is specific and timely, makes no demands, and is aimed at the problem, not the person. Likely to trip me up: Catmull says candour fades as people seek approval or fear looking foolish, so it has to be protected all the time. Note: one company's practice, described by its president. (Source: Creativity, Inc., Ch. 5.)
A Truthseeking Group (Thinking in Bets, Annie Duke): the same idea for decisions. Understand Before You Judge (How to Read a Book, Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren): rules for fair criticism.
People & Communication
The Braintrust
Ch. 5, Honesty and Candor. Page not verified (Random House, 2014).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 25; 17
Plan: I will form a small group that reviews each other's drafts on a regular schedule. Notes will name the problem and leave the fix to the maker.
feedback, candour, candor, honesty, peers, notes, draft, criticism, review, braintrust, team, first draft, bad first version, iterate, trust, ego, problem solving, meetings, writing, creative work
You show your draft only to people who will be kind, or to a boss whose notes are orders. You get comfort or commands, never candour.
Ask two peers to look at your current draft. Tell them: 'Say what is not working. I will decide what to do about it.'
First versions are always bad. They get good when trusted peers say frankly what is wrong, and have no power to tell you how to fix it.
Where Good Ideas Come From
Single Model
Steven Johnson
Not started
Solve more of my problems with tools borrowed from other fields.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Johnson takes the word from biology: feathers first evolved for warmth and were later put to use for flight. He tells how the printing press borrowed its key part from the screw press used for making wine. He reports a study of business founders which found that those with wide and varied social circles were about three times more innovative than those who knew only people like themselves. He notes that many great innovators kept several hobbies going at once. Likely to trip me up: Johnson says the ties that help most are the loose ones to people unlike me, and those are the first to go when I am busy. Note: historical cases plus one survey study. (Source: Where Good Ideas Come From, Ch. 6.)
The Latticework of Mental Models (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): carry tools from many fields. The Sampling Period (Range, David Epstein): breadth early pays off later.
Creativity & Ideas
Exaptation
Ch. 6, Exaptation. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2010).
Learn a skill / upskill; Spend time with family/friends; Read / learn more
17; 14; 09
Plan: I will keep up hobbies and friendships outside my field on purpose. When stuck, I will ask what another trade would do with this.
exaptation, borrow, repurpose, cross-discipline, analogy, hobbies, transfer, tools, innovation, different fields, weak ties, diverse friends, generalist, side interests, invention, adapt, reuse, creativity, outside view, combine
You look for answers only inside your own field, with your field's tools. The fix you need is sitting in someone else's.
Take one problem you have. Ask how a chef, a coach or an engineer would handle it. Borrow one of their tools.
Exaptation is using something built for one purpose to do another. Many breakthroughs are borrowed tools put to work in a new field.
Where Good Ideas Come From
Single Model
Steven Johnson
Not started
Raise my odds of useful accidents by widening what I take in.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Johnson says a happy accident only helps if it completes a hunch you already hold, so serendipity needs a prepared mind. He lists ways to invite it: go for a walk, since ideas link up when the mind is off task; read widely; and take what he calls a reading sabbatical, reading many books in a short burst so their ideas can collide while all are fresh. He describes keeping his own notes in a searchable system that throws up forgotten links. Likely to trip me up: Johnson says reading a little each evening spreads ideas too thinly over time, so they never meet. Finding a block of days is hard. Note: a science writer's advice, drawn from cases and his own practice. (Source: Where Good Ideas Come From, Ch. 4.)
Syntopical Reading (How to Read a Book, Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren): read several books against each other. Solitude Deprivation (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): time with no input is where links form.
Creativity & Ideas
Engineer Serendipity
Ch. 4, Serendipity. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2010).
Read / learn more; Spend more time outdoors; Cut phone / social-media use
09; 18; 06
Plan: I will add a daily walk without input, keep my notes searchable in one place, and set aside a few days twice a year to read across several fields at once.
serendipity, luck, chance, discovery, reading, walk, shower, ideas, wide reading, curiosity, collision, filter bubble, feeds, browsing, library, deep dive, reading week, notes, insight, prepared mind
Your reading and your feeds all cover the same narrow ground. Nothing unexpected ever crosses your path.
Take a twenty-minute walk with no headphones today. This week, read one thing from a field you know nothing about.
Lucky finds favour a mind already holding half an idea. You can raise the odds: read widely, walk, and let different subjects collide.
Creativity, Inc.
Single Model
Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace
Not started
Give new habits and new ideas a protected start before I measure them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Catmull calls early versions of films ugly babies: awkward, unformed and in need of protection. Against them stands the Hungry Beast, his name for the part of any organisation that needs a steady flow of finished product to survive. The Beast favours what is proven and efficient. He says both are needed, and that the job is to keep a balance in which the new is sheltered long enough to grow. Likely to trip me up: Catmull warns that protection is for the new, not for ever. At some point the idea has to face the Beast and earn its place. Note: a metaphor from one company's management. (Source: Creativity, Inc., Ch. 7.)
Emotions Create Habits (Celebrate at Once) (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): new habits need nurturing, not judging. The Efficiency Trap (Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman): the Beast in personal form.
Systems & Strategy
The Ugly Baby and the Hungry Beast
Ch. 7, The Hungry Beast and the Ugly Baby. Page not verified (Random House, 2014).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised; Exercise / move daily
27; 13; 01
Plan: Any new project or habit gets a fixed shelter period with no targets. I will schedule it in its own slot, apart from my regular output.
new ideas, fragile, protect, early stage, judgement, efficiency, deadlines, output, balance, innovation, first draft, new habit, nurture, pressure, quota, routine, originality, patience, beast, baby
You judge a week-old habit or a first draft by the standard of a finished one. It looks bad, so you drop it for what already works.
Name one new thing you have started. Decide it is exempt from judgement for thirty days. Just keep it alive.
New ideas start out ugly and fragile. The demand for steady output, the Beast, will eat them. Shelter the new until it can stand.
The Creative Act
Single Model
Rick Rubin with Neil Strauss
Not started
Know which phase each project is in, so I apply the right kind of effort and the right amount of judgement.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rubin, a music producer, describes four phases. In the seed phase you gather starting points without judging them, since you cannot tell which will grow. In experimentation you play with the seeds and follow whichever creates the most excitement. Crafting is the labour of building it out. Completion is the final refining, and then letting go so the next work can start. He says you may move back and forth between them. Likely to trip me up: Rubin says deadlines help in the last phases and harm in the first ones, and that many people stall at completion, since releasing the work means it can be judged. Note: reflections from one producer's career, written in a spiritual tone. It is not research. (Source: The Creative Act, 'Seeds', 'Experimentation', 'Crafting' and 'Completion'.)
The Natural Planning Model (Getting Things Done, David Allen): another staged route from idea to done. Negative Capability (Mastery, Robert Greene): stay open in the early phases.
Creativity & Ideas
Seed, Experiment, Craft, Complete
Chapters 'Seeds' (p. 143), 'Experimentation' (p. 149), 'Crafting' (p. 163) and 'Completion' (p. 191) (Penguin Press, 2023).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill
07; 13; 17
Plan: I will label my projects by phase. In the seed phase I only collect. In the experiment phase I only play. I will set deadlines only once a project is in the craft phase.
creative process, phases, seed, ideas, experiment, craft, completion, finish, stuck, stages, workflow, judgement, drafts, editing, release, project, brainstorm, build, polish, deadline
You judge a raw idea as if it were a finished piece and kill it. Or you keep experimenting for ever and never move to building.
Take a project you are stuck on and name which phase it is in. Do only the work that belongs to that phase today.
Creative work moves through four phases: collect seeds, experiment to see which grow, craft the chosen one, then finish and release it.
Show Your Work!
Single Model
Austin Kleon
Not started
Build an audience slowly by sharing something small and useful from my work every day.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kleon says to become a documentarian of what you do, since people want to see how work is made. His routine is one small share a day, run past a 'so what?' test so it helps or entertains someone. He borrows the idea of stock and flow: flow is the daily stream of posts that keeps you present, and stock is the durable work that lasts. He says the trick is to keep up the flow while you build stock in the background, and to turn the best of the flow into stock. Likely to trip me up: Kleon warns against oversharing, and says to post as though everyone who reads it has the power to fire you. He also says to own your own site, so the work does not vanish with a platform. (Source: Show Your Work!, Ch. 2 and Ch. 3.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the daily share small enough to do. Be Boring (Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon): the routine that makes daily work possible.
Habits & Behavior Change
Share Something Small Every Day
Ch. 3, Share Something Small Every Day. Background in Ch. 2, Think Process, Not Product. Page not verified (Workman, 2014).
Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Journal / self-reflect
13; 17; 27; 24
Plan: I will end each work session by posting one thing I learned or made. Once a month I will collect the best pieces into something lasting, like a longer post or a video.
share, daily, post, consistency, audience, process, behind the scenes, document, work in progress, social media, newsletter, blog, stock and flow, portfolio, launch, visibility, habit, content, so what, build in public
You wait to share until the big project is finished and perfect. Months pass, nobody knows what you do, and the launch meets silence.
After today's work, share one small thing from it: a note, a sketch, a lesson. First ask 'so what?' to check it is useful to someone.
Once a day, share one small, useful piece of your work or process. Small daily posts add up to a body of work and an audience.
Big Magic
Single Model
Elizabeth Gilbert
Not started
Stop waiting to feel brave. Do the work with the fear in the car.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gilbert says fear and creativity are like conjoined twins: creativity always steps into uncertain outcomes, and fear hates uncertain outcomes. She says people who try to kill their fear often kill their creativity with it. So before each project she gives fear a welcoming speech. It is allowed in the car and allowed a voice, but it may not touch the maps, choose the music or drive. She also calls fear boring, since it only ever says one word: stop. Likely to trip me up: Gilbert says fear is ancient and useful for real danger, so it will never leave, and it shows up strongest when the work matters most. Note: this is a novelist's personal method. It sits close to acceptance-based therapy, where the aim is to act with the feeling present. (Source: Big Magic, Part I: Courage.)
Resistance (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): another name for the force that says stop. Defusion (Thoughts Are Just Words) (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): hear the thought without obeying it.
Mindset & Emotions
Fear Rides in the Back Seat
Part I, Courage. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2015).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety; Beat procrastination / focus
27; 12; 07
Plan: Before each recording or launch I will name what I am afraid of, say it can come along, and begin anyway. I will note afterwards how loud it really was.
fear, courage, anxiety, creativity, scared, start, risk, failure, judgement, brave, fearless, road trip, inner voice, doubt, permission, procrastination, stage fright, publish, comfort zone, acceptance
You wait to stop feeling afraid before you begin. The fear never goes, so you never begin.
Before your next scary task, write fear a short note: 'You can come, you can talk, but you do not decide.' Then start.
You cannot get rid of fear, and fighting it harms the work too. Let it ride along. It gets a seat and a voice, but never the wheel.
Creativity, Inc.
Single Model
Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace
Not started
Get used to showing rough work, so feedback arrives when I can still use it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Catmull describes dailies, a morning meeting where animators show incomplete work to the director and their peers. He says people arrive ashamed of showing anything unfinished. Once they see that everyone does it and that anyone may make suggestions, the embarrassment goes, and he says people become more creative when it does. It also saves time, since a wrong direction is caught in a day, not a month. He lists it with other habits, such as postmortems after each film. Likely to trip me up: Catmull says the urge is to show work only when it is impressive, and that this urge has to be unlearned. Note: one studio's practice. It needs a group that is kind about rough work. (Source: Creativity, Inc., Ch. 10.)
Share Something Small Every Day (Show Your Work!, Austin Kleon): the public version of the same habit. Feedback (Don't Dodge the Punches) (Ultralearning, Scott Young): seek correction early.
Learning & Knowledge
Dailies: Show Unfinished Work
Ch. 10, Broadening Our View. Page not verified (Random House, 2014).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
27; 17; 13
Plan: I will share a rough cut or draft with one person at a fixed time each day I work on it. After each project I will write a short review of what to keep and what to change.
unfinished, work in progress, show, daily, feedback, embarrassment, ego, polish, hide, review, team, iteration, early, rough draft, critique, learning, openness, postmortem, creative, habit
You hide work until it is polished. By then the flaw is built in, and you are too attached to change it.
Show someone a piece of work today while it is still rough. Ask for one thing that is unclear.
Show your unfinished work to others every day. The embarrassment fades with practice, and problems get caught while they are cheap to fix.
Show Your Work!
Single Model
Austin Kleon
Not started
Share how I do things openly, and trust that it helps me more than it costs me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kleon tells of a famous barbecue cook who shares his exact methods in public. It costs him nothing, since knowing the technique is not the same as years of practising it, and it makes people feel closer to his work. Kleon says teaching adds value to what you do, and that when you share your knowledge you get an education back from the people who respond. Likely to trip me up: Kleon says the fear is that giving away secrets gives away the business. Note: one artist's view, backed by stories, not data. (Source: Show Your Work!, Ch. 6.)
The Feynman Technique (Ultralearning, Scott Young): explaining it shows you what you do not yet understand. Reciprocation (Influence, Robert Cialdini): people give back to those who gave first.
Learning & Knowledge
Teach What You Know
Ch. 6, Teach What You Know. Page not verified (Workman, 2014).
Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate; Read / learn more
17; 25; 09
Plan: Each time I learn a new technique, I will write up the steps and publish them, with links to the people I learned from.
teach, share knowledge, secrets, tutorial, how-to, generosity, competition, trust, audience, expert, learning, explain, mentor, give away, value, reputation, course, beginners, open, skills
You guard your methods in case someone copies you. Nobody copies you. Nobody notices you either.
Write a short how-to for one thing you learned this month. Share it where a beginner would find it.
Teaching what you know does not create rivals. It builds trust, draws people to your work, and teaches you in return.
How to Read a Book
Single Model
Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren
Not started
Read actively enough that I can answer the four questions for every book I cover.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: The authors say reading is active to the degree that you ask questions and try to answer them yourself. The four questions are: what is the book about as a whole, what is being said in detail and how, is it true in whole or in part, and what of it. They add that you must make the book your own by marking it, and that the questions work for anything you read. Likely to trip me up: The authors say knowing the questions is not enough. It takes the habit of asking them, and a habit only forms by doing it many times. (Source: How to Read a Book, Ch. 5.)
Retrieval Practice (Make It Stick, Peter Brown, Henry Roediger and Mark McDaniel): answering from memory is what makes it stick. The Feynman Technique (Ultralearning, Scott Young): explain it plainly to find what you have not understood.
Learning & Knowledge
The Four Questions of a Demanding Reader
Ch. 5, How to Be a Demanding Reader. Starts on p. 45 (Touchstone hardcover, 2014, ISBN 9781476790152).
Read / learn more; Journal / self-reflect; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 24; 17
Plan: I will keep the four questions on a card in each book and write my answers when I finish. I will mark the book as I go, since the authors say writing in it is part of the conversation.
questions, active reading, critical thinking, notes, highlighting, marginalia, comprehension, summary, argument, truth, so what, takeaways, books, articles, reports, study, understanding, passive, engage, annotate
You finish a book or an article and cannot say what it argued, whether you believe it, or why it matters to you.
For the last thing you read, write one line for each of the four questions. Notice which one you cannot answer.
Ask four questions of anything you read: What is it about as a whole? What is said in detail? Is it true? What of it?
Mastery
Single Model
Robert Greene
Not started
Treat the early years of my new craft as an apprenticeship, where the aim is learning and not applause.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greene says the goal of an apprenticeship is not money or a title. It is the transformation of your mind and character. He names three steps: deep observation, the passive mode, where you learn the rules and the power relationships; skills acquisition, the practice mode, where repetition makes the skill automatic; and experimentation, the active mode, where you take on real work and criticism before you feel ready. He advises choosing the position that offers the most learning over the one that pays most. Likely to trip me up: Greene says impatience and the wish for attention pull people out of this phase early. Note: Greene also repeats the ten-thousand-hour figure for expertise, which researchers consider oversimplified. (Source: Mastery, Part II.)
Purposeful Practice (Peak, Anders Ericsson): what the practice step should look like. Directness (Ultralearning, Scott Young): learn by doing the real thing.
Learning & Knowledge
The Three Steps of Apprenticeship
Part II, Submit to Reality: The Ideal Apprenticeship. Starts on p. 47 (Viking, 2012).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
17; 13
Plan: I will spend the first month studying how the best people in my field work. Then I will set a daily practice block for one core skill, and publish small experiments to get real feedback.
apprenticeship, learning, new job, beginner, observe, practice, skills, career, patience, mentor, craft, experiment, humility, money, salary, training, years, mastery, feedback, junior
You start a new job or field and want to impress at once. You skip the watching and the dull practice, and stay shallow.
In whatever you are learning, name which step you are on. If you skipped the first, spend this week only observing how the best people do it.
Learn a field in three steps: watch closely and keep quiet, practise the skills until they are automatic, then test yourself with real work.
How to Read a Book
Single Model
Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren
Not started
Criticise ideas fairly: only after I can state them, and with a reason I can point to.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: The authors give rules of intellectual etiquette. Finish understanding before you judge. Do not disagree just to win. Give reasons, so that a disagreement is more than an opinion. They then list the only grounds for disagreement: the author is uninformed, misinformed, illogical, or the analysis is incomplete. If you can show none of these, they say you are obliged to agree, at least in part. Likely to trip me up: The authors say people treat disagreement as a contest and confuse disliking a conclusion with finding a fault in it. (Source: How to Read a Book, Ch. 10 and Ch. 11.)
Earn Your Opinion (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): know the other side as well as its holders do. Aim for 'That's Right', Not 'You're Right' (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): summarise their view until they agree with the summary.
People & Communication
Understand Before You Judge
Ch. 10, Criticizing a Book Fairly (starts on p. 136) and Ch. 11, Agreeing or Disagreeing with an Author (starts on p. 150) (Touchstone hardcover, 2014, ISBN 9781476790152).
Improve relationships / communicate; Read / learn more
25; 09
Plan: Before I criticise a book in a video, I will write its argument in a way the author would accept. Then I will sort my objection into one of the four kinds, or admit I only dislike it.
disagree, criticism, argument, debate, understand, steelman, fairness, opinion, judgement, feedback, review, critique, comments, logic, facts, evidence, listening, open mind, discussion, respect
You argue with a book, a post or a colleague after the first paragraph. You are attacking a view they do not hold.
The next time you disagree with something, first restate it in your own words. Then name which kind of fault you think it has.
Do not agree or disagree until you can honestly say 'I understand'. Then say where the fault lies: facts missing, facts wrong, or bad logic.
The Art of Learning
Single Model
Josh Waitzkin
Not started
Keep one slip from turning into a lost day or a lost week.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Waitzkin noticed in chess that one error seldom lost the game. A player would make a small mistake, cling emotionally to how good the position used to be, and then make worse moves from that false picture. He tells of a woman who stepped into the street, was nearly hit by a cyclist, stood there shouting at him, and was then struck by a taxi. His advice is to regain presence right after an error, with a breath or a short break. Likely to trip me up: Waitzkin says the pull to stay in the past moment is strong, and pride makes it worse. Note: this is one performer's account. It matches what researchers call the what-the-hell effect, where a single lapse leads to giving up. (Source: The Art of Learning, Ch. 6.)
10-10-10 (Thinking in Bets, Annie Duke): her word for this state is tilt. Plan for the Hard Moment (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): decide the reset before you need it.
Mindset & Emotions
The Downward Spiral
Ch. 6, The Downward Spiral. Starts on p. 61 (Free Press paperback, ISBN 9780743277464).
Quit smoking / vaping; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Exercise / move daily
10; 19; 27; 01
Plan: After any lapse I will use my reset move, name the slip out loud as one event, and return to the plan at the very next chance, not the next Monday.
mistake, slip, relapse, spiral, what the hell effect, binge, tilt, error, recovery, reset, perfectionism, all or nothing, diet, smoking, exam, presentation, composure, breath, momentum, bounce back
You slip once: one cigarette, one missed workout, one bad slide. You decide the day is ruined and make it so.
Choose a reset move now, such as three slow breaths or a splash of water. Use it straight after your next mistake, before you do anything else.
One mistake rarely ruins anything. The damage comes from the second and third, made while your mind is still stuck on the first.
Moonwalking with Einstein
Single Model
Joshua Foer
Not started
Remember names and key facts by giving each one something to attach to.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Foer describes the experiment. Two people see the same face. One is told the man is a baker, the other that his name is Baker. Days later, the one who learned the job remembers it far better. The job links to a web of things already in memory, such as bread, ovens and a white hat, and the bare name links to nothing. He says the trick of memory is to turn Bakers into bakers. Likely to trip me up: Foer says making the image takes a moment of real attention, and that most forgetting happens because we never paid attention in the first place. Note: Foer is a journalist reporting on memory research and on his own year of training. (Source: Moonwalking with Einstein, Ch. 2.)
Chunking (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): linked pieces are easier to hold than loose ones. Vision Trumps All Other Senses (Brain Rules, John Medina): pictures stick better than words.
Learning & Knowledge
The Baker/baker Paradox
Ch. 2, The Man Who Remembered Too Much. Page not verified (Penguin Press, 2011).
Read / learn more; Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 25; 17
Plan: For each new name or term this week I will make one vivid picture that links it to something I know, and test myself the next day.
memory, names, forget, remember, association, meaning, vivid, image, faces, facts, vocabulary, study, mnemonic, hook, context, recall, networking, learning, numbers, connections
You forget names, numbers and definitions within minutes. They have nothing to hold on to in your head.
The next time you meet someone, turn the name into a picture tied to their face: a Baker in a tall white hat.
You will remember that a man is a baker more easily than that his name is Baker. Facts stick when they hook on to things you already know.
How to Read a Book
Single Model
Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren
Not started
Build each of my topics from several books, so I present the question and not one author's answer.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: The authors set out five steps: find the relevant passages, bring the authors to terms by making them use your vocabulary, get the questions clear, define the issues where the authors disagree, and analyse the discussion. They say that at this level the reader's question comes first and the books serve it. Likely to trip me up: The authors warn that you need inspectional reading first to find the right books, and that it is hard to stay neutral and not force the authors to fit your own view. (Source: How to Read a Book, Ch. 20.)
The Latticework of Mental Models (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): ideas from many fields, hung together. New combinations (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): new ideas come from joining old ones.
Thinking & Reasoning
Syntopical Reading
Ch. 20, The Fourth Level of Reading: Syntopical Reading. Starts on p. 301 (Touchstone hardcover, 2014, ISBN 9781476790152).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: For each habit I cover, I will gather the relevant passages from several books, put their ideas into common terms, and lay out where they agree and differ before I take a side.
syntopical, research, compare, sources, synthesis, multiple books, topic, question, literature review, cross-reference, authors, disagreement, terms, notes, reading list, themes, essay, mental models, connect, depth
You read one book on a topic and adopt its view whole. You never see where other good authors disagree with it.
Pick one question you care about. Find three books that touch it, and read only the passages that bear on your question.
Read many books on one question, not one book on many. You set the question and the terms, and make the authors answer you.
Mastery
Single Model
Robert Greene
Not started
Find one person ahead of me whose feedback I can earn, and stop trying to learn everything alone.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greene tells how Michael Faraday attached himself to the chemist Humphry Davy, learned his methods at close range, and later surpassed him. He says a mentor saves you from wasted effort because their feedback is direct and fitted to you. His advice is to choose a mentor for what you need, offer them something in return, take in their knowledge, and then break away so you do not stay in their shadow. When no mentor is available, he says books and the lives of past masters can serve. Likely to trip me up: Greene says pride stops people from admitting they need a teacher, and that some mentors will try to keep you dependent. Note: this rests on biographies, not on studies of mentoring. (Source: Mastery, Part III.)
Take Advice Only From Those Who Know (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): choose the teacher by what they have done. Feedback (Don't Dodge the Punches) (Ultralearning, Scott Young): seek the criticism you would sooner avoid.
People & Communication
The Mentor Dynamic
Part III, Absorb the Master's Power: The Mentor Dynamic. Page not verified (Viking, 2012).
Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
17; 25
Plan: I will list three people whose work I want to learn from, find a way to help one of them, and ask for criticism of specific pieces of my work.
mentor, mentorship, teacher, coach, feedback, guidance, learning, career, role model, advice, apprentice, experience, shortcut, relationship, books, criticism, independence, network, growth, master
You learn everything alone from videos and trial and error. It takes you five years to learn what someone could have shown you in one.
Name one person who is where you want to be. Work out one specific way you could be useful to them, and offer it.
The right mentor passes on years of experience and gives feedback fitted to you. Learn all you can from them, then go your own way.
Steal Like an Artist
Single Model
Austin Kleon
Not started
Start publishing before I feel ready, and let my style show up through the work.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kleon says nobody is born with a style. We learn by copying, the way we learned to write by copying letters. He advises copying many heroes, not one, and copying the thinking behind the work and not only the surface. Since nobody can copy perfectly, the gap between you and your heroes is where your own voice is found. He says feeling like a fraud is normal, and that you should pretend to be what you want to be until you are. Likely to trip me up: Kleon warns that imitation is a stage. Staying there is flattery. The aim is to move from copying to making something your heroes would not have made. (Source: Steal Like an Artist, Ch. 2.)
Turning Pro (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): show up and do the work before you feel like one. Test and Learn (Flirt with Your Possible Selves) (Range, David Epstein): you learn who you are by trying things.
Creativity & Ideas
Start Before You Know Who You Are
Ch. 2, Don't Wait Until You Know Who You Are to Get Started. Page not verified (Workman, 2012).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 07; 17
Plan: I will make my first ten pieces as open imitations of formats I admire, and after each one I will note what I changed without meaning to.
start, begin, voice, style, niche, imposter syndrome, fake it, copy, heroes, identity, waiting, ready, perfectionism, creator, youtube, writing, practice, emulate, confidence, procrastination
You will start the channel, the blog or the business once you have worked out your niche and your style. Two years later you are still working it out.
Make one small thing today in the style of someone you admire. Look at where yours came out different. Keep that part.
You find your voice by making things, not by thinking about it first. Begin by copying your heroes. Where your copy falls short is you.
Steal Like an Artist
Single Model
Austin Kleon
Not started
Use limits on purpose so my projects get finished.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kleon says that in an age of too much information, the people who get ahead are those who work out what to leave out. He says nothing is more paralysing than limitless possibility, and that the way past a creative block is to place constraints on yourself. His examples include a famous children's book written using only fifty different words, after a bet. Likely to trip me up: Kleon says we make excuses out of what we lack: not enough time, money or gear. He argues the lack is the constraint to work with, which is an uncomfortable idea. Note: one artist's manifesto, not research. It agrees with Barry Schwartz's findings on too much choice, which have their own caveats. (Source: Steal Like an Artist, Ch. 10.)
Less but Better (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): choose the few things that matter. Choose When to Choose (The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz): limits free you to act.
Creativity & Ideas
Creativity Is Subtraction
Ch. 10, Creativity Is Subtraction. Page not verified (Workman, 2012).
Beat procrastination / focus; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised
07; 27; 13
Plan: Each video gets a fixed length, a fixed format and a deadline before I start. I will add nothing that does not fit inside them.
constraints, limits, simplify, subtraction, focus, scope, options, overwhelm, tools, gear, minimal, deadline, editing, less, creativity, paralysis, choice, blank page, side project, finish
You could make anything, with any tool, at any length. So you plan, compare software, and make nothing.
Give your next piece of work three hard limits, such as one hour, one tool and one page. Start inside them.
With endless options you freeze. Choose what to leave out. A tight limit on time, tools or scope is what gets work made.
Mastery
Single Model
Robert Greene
Not started
Hold my ideas open for longer before I commit, so the first answer is not the only one I consider.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greene borrows the term from the poet John Keats, who used it for the capacity to remain in uncertainties and doubts without reaching irritably after fact and reason. Greene says the mind hates not knowing and rushes to judge, which shuts out better ideas. He advises suspending judgement, exposing yourself to views that unsettle you, and treating your current opinions as temporary. Likely to trip me up: Greene says uncertainty feels like weakness, and that our pride pushes us to have an opinion at once. He adds that it is a tool for the creative phase. In the end you still have to decide and ship. (Source: Mastery, Part V.)
Lean In to Confusion (The Scout Mindset, Julia Galef): treat what does not fit as a clue. Focused and Diffuse Modes (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): stepping back lets other answers surface.
Creativity & Ideas
Negative Capability
Part V, Awaken the Dimensional Mind: The Creative-Active. Page not verified (Viking, 2012).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: On creative work I will set a rule: no decision on the angle until I have written at least three, and slept on them once.
uncertainty, doubt, creativity, ideas, patience, ambiguity, open mind, first idea, judgement, keats, mystery, problem solving, insight, brainstorm, assumptions, anxiety, closure, curiosity, original, thinking
An open question makes you uneasy, so you settle on the first explanation or the first draft idea and defend it.
Take one question you think you have answered. For a day, hold it as open and write down three other answers that might be true.
Negative capability is the ability to stay with doubt and not-knowing without grabbing the first answer. Better ideas come from the wait.
Mastery
Single Model
Robert Greene
Not started
Stop being knocked off course by ordinary human behaviour at work.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greene opens with the young Benjamin Franklin, who was repeatedly let down by people until he trained himself to observe them coolly. Greene calls our default the Naive Perspective: we project our hopes onto others, as children do with parents. He says social intelligence means reading each person closely and also accepting common traits, which he lists as envy, conformism, rigidity, self-obsession, laziness, flightiness and passive aggression. Likely to trip me up: Greene says we like to think we already see people clearly, and that our own emotional reactions are what cloud the view. Note: this is Greene's reading of historical lives. It can tip into cynicism if treated as the whole truth about people. (Source: Mastery, Part IV.)
Hanlon's Razor (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): most bad behaviour is not aimed at you. Incentives (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): people act on what rewards them.
People & Communication
Drop the Naive Perspective
Part IV, See People as They Are: Social Intelligence. Page not verified (Viking, 2012).
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination
25; 12; 15
Plan: When someone's behaviour upsets me, I will describe it plainly, ask what it says about them and not about me, and decide how to work around it.
people, office politics, colleagues, envy, naive, betrayal, expectations, drama, social intelligence, conflict, boss, passive aggressive, trust, reading people, workplace, relationships, emotions, realism, manipulation, acceptance
You are stunned each time a colleague is envious, lazy or two-faced. You take it personally, stew for days, and your work suffers.
Think of someone whose behaviour keeps surprising you. Write what they actually do, not what you hoped they would do. Plan around that.
We see people through our own wishes and fears, and then feel betrayed. See them as they are, flaws included, and you waste less on drama.
The Art of Learning
Single Model
Josh Waitzkin
Not started
Be able to get into a focused state on demand before I record or present.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Waitzkin describes helping a man who could focus only when playing catch with his son. They built a routine before that activity: a light snack, a short meditation, stretching, and one song. After a month of repetition, the routine itself produced the state, so he could use it before meetings. Then they shortened it step by step, until a few breaths or the memory of the song was enough. Likely to trip me up: Waitzkin says the routine must be shortened gradually. Cut too fast and the link breaks. It also needs a starting activity that truly absorbs you. Note: one performer's method, not a tested programme. It fits what habit research says about cues. (Source: The Art of Learning, Ch. 17.)
Habit Stacking (Atomic Habits, James Clear): one action cues the next. Shutdown Ritual (Deep Work, Cal Newport): a fixed routine that switches the mind the other way.
Habits & Behavior Change
Building Your Trigger
Ch. 17, Building Your Trigger. Starts on p. 185 (Free Press paperback, ISBN 9780743277464).
Beat procrastination / focus; Manage stress / anxiety; Meditate / mindfulness; Exercise / move daily
07; 12; 21; 01
Plan: I will build a four-step routine before an activity I already find absorbing, repeat it daily for a month, then move it in front of my recording sessions and shorten it bit by bit.
routine, ritual, trigger, focus, zone, flow, performance, warm-up, pre-game, presentation, exam, nerves, state, cue, habit, music, breathing, preparation, consistency, calm
You can only do your best work when you happen to feel right. On the day it counts, you cannot call that feeling up.
Name one activity that reliably leaves you calm and focused. Do a fixed ten-minute routine before it today: same snack, same stretch, same song.
Build a short routine around something that already puts you in a calm, focused state. Repeat it until the routine alone brings the state.
Moonwalking with Einstein
Single Model
Joshua Foer
Not started
Get off the plateau in my speaking and editing, where I have been repeating what I can already do.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Foer stalled in his memory training and turned to the psychologist Anders Ericsson. He explains the three stages of learning a skill. In the last, the autonomous stage, we stop paying attention and stop improving. He calls this the OK plateau. Experts get past it by staying out of autopilot: they set goals just beyond their level, seek immediate feedback and study their failures. Foer sped up a metronome so that he made errors, then worked on those. Likely to trip me up: Foer says the plateau feels like a natural limit, and practising at the edge of failure is unpleasant. Note: years of experience alone do predict little about skill in many fields. How far deliberate practice explains the rest is debated. (Source: Moonwalking with Einstein, Ch. 8.)
Deliberate Practice (Peak, Anders Ericsson): the research behind this chapter. The Goldilocks Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): keep the task just beyond your current level.
Learning & Knowledge
The OK Plateau
Ch. 8, The OK Plateau. Page not verified (Penguin Press, 2011).
Learn a skill / upskill; Exercise / move daily; Be more productive / organised
17; 01; 13
Plan: Each week I will pick one weak part, practise it at a level where I fail about a third of the time, and review the failures.
plateau, stuck, improvement, practice, autopilot, skill, typing, good enough, comfort zone, deliberate practice, feedback, mistakes, experience, years, stagnation, career, progress, challenge, expertise, growth
You have typed, driven, cooked or done your job for years and are no better than you were after the first one. You assume that is your limit.
Pick one skill where you have stalled. Do it today a little faster or harder than is comfortable, and note where you fail.
Once you are good enough at something, you stop improving, however much you do it. To get better, you must practise on purpose again.
Steal Like an Artist
Single Model
Austin Kleon
Not started
Drop the demand to be original and build on the people whose work I admire, with credit.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kleon says all creative work builds on what came before, so the artist is a collector, not a hoarder: you gather only what you really love. He advises climbing your own family tree. Study one thinker you admire, then the three people who shaped them, and keep going up. He separates good theft from bad: good theft honours, studies, takes from many, credits and transforms. Bad theft skims, takes from one, and imitates. Likely to trip me up: Kleon says you are only as good as what you let in, so a feed full of junk gives junk ideas. Note: this is a short manifesto by a working artist, built on quotes and experience, not research. (Source: Steal Like an Artist, Ch. 1.)
New combinations (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): an idea is a new mix of old elements. Syntopical Reading (How to Read a Book, Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren): the scholar's version of taking from many.
Creativity & Ideas
Steal Like an Artist
Ch. 1, Steal Like an Artist. Page not verified (Workman, 2012).
Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Read / learn more
17; 27; 09
Plan: I will keep a file of ideas worth stealing, trace the influences of my three favourite creators, and note for each of my pieces where its parts came from.
originality, creativity, ideas, influence, copy, remix, inspiration, heroes, imposter, steal, mashup, collect, swipe file, curiosity, reading, family tree, plagiarism, credit, art, content
You wait for a completely original idea before you begin. It never comes, and you feel like a fraud for having influences at all.
Pick one creator you love. Find three people who influenced them, and spend an hour with one of those.
Nothing is fully original. Every new idea is a mix of older ones. Choose your influences with care, study them deeply, and remix.
The Art of Learning
Single Model
Josh Waitzkin
Not started
Put myself where I lose on purpose, since that is where the learning is.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Waitzkin took the phrase from his Tai Chi teacher. As a beginner he let stronger partners throw him around for months without tensing up or fighting back with old habits, so that he could learn the new way. He says those who cannot bear to lose keep using what already works and stop growing. He links this to research on children who see ability as something you build, who take on harder problems and recover better from failure. Likely to trip me up: Waitzkin says it is hardest when you already have a reputation, since every loss is public. Note: one performer's account. The research he mentions is Carol Dweck's, and its effects are smaller in practice than popular accounts claim. (Source: The Art of Learning, Ch. 3 and Ch. 10.)
Growth Mindset (vs Fixed) (Mindset, Carol Dweck): the research Waitzkin draws on. Dare to Be Average (Feeling Good, David Burns): lower the bar so you can take part.
Learning & Knowledge
Investment in Loss
Ch. 10, Investment in Loss. Starts on p. 103 (Free Press paperback, ISBN 9780743277464).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 17
Plan: I will seek out people better than me and try the methods I am worst at. I will score sessions by what I learned, not by how I looked.
losing, failure, ego, learning, beginner, mistakes, growth, humility, comfort zone, practice, sparring, feedback, embarrassment, improvement, risk, new technique, pride, experiment, skill, resilience
You only do what you are already good at, where you look competent. You avoid the new method, the stronger partner, the public attempt.
This week, choose one setting where you will certainly do worse than usual, and go: a harder class, a better opponent, a new technique.
To learn a better way, you must be willing to lose for a while using it. Protecting your record today keeps you stuck at today's level.
The Art of Learning
Single Model
Josh Waitzkin
Not started
Be able to do good work in imperfect conditions, since those are the only ones I get.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Waitzkin, a former chess champion, describes two kinds of concentration. In the hard zone you are tense and need the world to cooperate, so any disturbance snaps you. In the soft zone you are relaxed and alert, and you flow with whatever happens. He trained it by practising with loud music on and by learning to use a song stuck in his head as a rhythm for his thinking. He uses an old parable: to walk across thorny ground you can pave the whole road or make sandals. Likely to trip me up: Waitzkin says the first instinct is to get angry at the distraction, and the anger does more damage than the noise. Note: this is the account of one elite performer, not a study. (Source: The Art of Learning, Ch. 5.)
The Struggle Switch (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): fighting the disturbance doubles it. Is This Trigger Serving Me? (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): deal with the distraction at its source when you can.
Productivity & Focus
The Soft Zone
Ch. 5, The Soft Zone. Starts on p. 51 (Free Press paperback, ISBN 9780743277464).
Beat procrastination / focus; Manage stress / anxiety; Be more productive / organised
07; 12; 13
Plan: I will practise short work blocks in noisy places and with background sound, and treat each distraction as training and not as an enemy.
focus, distraction, noise, concentration, flow, conditions, interruptions, open office, resilience, calm, zone, performance, pressure, irritation, music, adapt, mindset, exams, competition, presence
A noise, a bad mood or a small interruption ruins your focus, and you wait for perfect conditions that never come.
Today, work for twenty minutes somewhere mildly distracting on purpose. When a noise comes, let it be part of the scene and carry on.
You can demand perfect quiet to concentrate, or learn to work with whatever comes. The second kind of focus bends and does not break.
The Art of Learning
Single Model
Josh Waitzkin
Not started
Go deep on the few fundamentals of my craft and stop chasing new techniques.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Waitzkin says the top performers he met were not using secret techniques. They had a deeper feel for the basics. In Tai Chi he practised a single straight punch for months, first large and slow, then gradually smaller, until a tiny movement kept the full force. He says learning a small thing deeply teaches you what quality feels like, and you can then carry that feeling to other skills. Likely to trip me up: Waitzkin says people are drawn to collecting more material, since it feels like progress and the basics feel boring. Note: one performer's account, in line with research on deliberate practice. (Source: The Art of Learning, Ch. 11.)
Drill (Attack Your Weakest Point) (Ultralearning, Scott Young): isolate one part and work it hard. Less but Better (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): fewer things, done properly.
Learning & Knowledge
Making Smaller Circles
Ch. 11, Making Smaller Circles. Starts on p. 115 (Free Press paperback, ISBN 9780743277464).
Learn a skill / upskill; Exercise / move daily
17; 01
Plan: I will choose one basic skill per month, practise it slowly every day, and only then tighten and speed it up.
fundamentals, basics, depth, mastery, practice, technique, simplicity, refinement, skill, focus, quality, shiny object, tips, tricks, essence, repetition, slow practice, craft, beginner, expert
You collect tips, tools and fancy techniques. You know a little about fifty things and cannot do one of them really well.
Pick the single most basic skill in your field. Spend twenty minutes on only that, as slowly and precisely as you can.
Depth beats breadth. Practise one basic technique until you feel its essence, then refine it until a small move carries the same power.
Moonwalking with Einstein
Single Model
Joshua Foer
Not started
Stop my years from blurring by putting something new and memorable into each week.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Foer describes a researcher who lived alone in a cave for two months with no clock. With nothing to mark the days, his memory and his sense of time collapsed. Foer's memory coach draws the lesson that monotony collapses time and novelty unfolds it, and says he tries to fill his life with memorable events so that it feels longer. Foer adds that this is why childhood summers seem endless and adult years fly. Likely to trip me up: Foer's point cuts against good habits. The same routine that makes me productive also makes my days impossible to tell apart, so I need both. Note: this is an idea from the book's characters, supported by research on how we judge time in memory. It has not been tested as advice. (Source: Moonwalking with Einstein, Ch. 4.)
Do Things for Their Own Sake (Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman): some hours should be spent, not used. Fill the Void First (High-Quality Leisure) (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): replace scrolling with something worth remembering.
Mindset & Emotions
Novelty Stretches Time
Ch. 4, The Most Forgetful Man in the World. Page not verified (Penguin Press, 2011).
Spend more time outdoors; Spend time with family/friends; Improve mental health / be happier; Cut phone / social-media use
18; 14; 04; 06
Plan: I will plan one new experience a week, outdoors or with people where I can, and keep a one-line log of it.
time, routine, monotony, novelty, memories, years flying by, boredom, experiences, travel, new, adventure, weekend, autopilot, life, meaning, friends, outdoors, habit rut, scrolling, memorable
Another year has gone and you can barely tell its months apart. Every week was the same commute, the same screen, the same evening.
This week, do one thing you have never done: a new route, a new place, a new dish with a friend. Make it worth remembering.
Routine days blur together and the years seem to vanish. New, memorable experiences leave markers, so life feels longer looking back.
How to Read a Book
Single Model
Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren
Not started
Stop abandoning books halfway by finding out early what each one offers.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: The authors give two steps. Systematic skimming: read the title page and preface, study the table of contents, check the index, read the publisher's summary, look at the chapters that seem central, and dip in here and there, always reading the last few pages. Superficial reading: on a first pass through a difficult book, read it through without stopping to look things up. They say understanding half of it is better than stalling on page ten. Likely to trip me up: The authors say many readers feel that skimming is cheating, so they read slowly from the start and waste time on books that did not deserve it. (Source: How to Read a Book, Ch. 4.)
The 80/20 Rule (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): find the few parts that carry most of the value. The Map Is Not the Territory (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): a skim gives you the map, so do not mistake it for the ground.
Learning & Knowledge
Inspectional Reading
Ch. 4, The Second Level of Reading: Inspectional Reading. Starts on p. 31 (Touchstone hardcover, 2014, ISBN 9781476790152).
Read / learn more; Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus
09; 13; 07
Plan: Every new book gets a timed skim first. I will write one sentence on what it is about and whether it earns a full read. For hard books, I will also read straight through once without stopping at what I do not understand.
skim, skimming, preview, table of contents, index, speed reading, books, reading list, time, busy, tsundoku, unread books, overview, structure, pre-reading, decide, nonfiction, efficiency, first pass, gist
You start on page one of every book and give up at page sixty. You never find out that chapter nine was the part you needed.
Take a book you have not started. Spend fifteen minutes on the contents page, the index and the first and last pages of the key chapters.
Before reading a book closely, skim it on purpose: title, contents, index, key chapters, the last pages. Then decide if it deserves more.
How to Read a Book
Single Model
Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren
Not started
Match how I read to what the book deserves, so careful reading goes to the few books that earn it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Adler and Van Doren describe four levels. Elementary reading asks what the sentence says. Inspectional reading gets the most out of a book in a limited time. Analytical reading is thorough reading for understanding. Syntopical reading compares many books on one subject. They say the levels are cumulative, and that reading for understanding is different from reading for information. Likely to trip me up: The authors say most readers never get past the first level and do not know the others exist, so reading everything the same way feels normal. Note: this is a classic guide by two educators, first published in 1940 and revised in 1972. It rests on teaching experience, not on experiments. (Source: How to Read a Book, Ch. 2.)
Metalearning (First Draw a Map) (Ultralearning, Scott Young): decide how to learn before you start. Illusions of Knowing (Make It Stick, Peter Brown, Henry Roediger and Mark McDaniel): reading something once feels like knowing it.
Learning & Knowledge
The Four Levels of Reading
Ch. 2, The Levels of Reading. Starts on p. 16 (Touchstone hardcover, 2014, ISBN 9781476790152).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: I will sort my reading list into books to skim, books to read carefully and books that feed a question I am studying. I will give each only the level it needs.
reading, books, levels, skim, comprehension, understanding, study, active reading, learning, slow reading, speed reading, nonfiction, retention, depth, method, how to read, information, education, focus, purpose
You read every book the same way, front to back at one speed. You finish many and understand few.
Before you open your next book, decide which level it deserves: a skim, a careful read, or a place in a bigger question you are studying.
Reading has four levels: basic, inspectional, analytical and syntopical. Each builds on the one before. Most people stop at the first.
Moonwalking with Einstein
Single Model
Joshua Foer
Not started
Build a base of remembered facts in the areas I cover, so that new reading has something to stick to.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Foer argues that memory and understanding are not rivals. He compares memory to a spider's web that catches new information: the more it catches, the bigger it grows, and the more it can catch. A person who knows a lot about a subject notices more and remembers more of what they read. He visits a teacher who uses memory techniques so that his students have facts to reason with. Likely to trip me up: Foer describes how writing, print and now phones have moved memory outside our heads, so memorising feels pointless. Note: research supports the link between background knowledge and reading comprehension. Foer does not claim memory tricks make anyone wiser. (Source: Moonwalking with Einstein, Ch. 7 and Ch. 9.)
The Latticework of Mental Models (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): new ideas need a frame to hang on. Mental Representations (Peak, Anders Ericsson): experts see more since they already hold more.
Learning & Knowledge
Memory Is a Web
Ch. 9, The Talented Tenth. Background in Ch. 7, The End of Remembering. Page not verified (Penguin Press, 2011).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill; Cut phone / social-media use
09; 17; 06
Plan: For each field I read in, I will pick the core terms, names and dates and commit them to memory with spaced review. I will keep notes for the rest.
knowledge, memory, google, look it up, facts, learning, background, understanding, expertise, reading, retention, education, rote, basics, foundation, context, curiosity, study, smartphone, outsourcing
You tell yourself you never need to remember anything since you can look it up. Then new material on the topic slides straight off you.
Pick one subject you keep 'looking up'. Learn its ten basic facts by heart this week, and see how the next article on it reads.
The more you know, the easier it is to learn more. New facts stick to old ones, so what you carry in your head shapes what you can take in.
Steal Like an Artist
Single Model
Austin Kleon
Not started
Build my side project on a stable base: a routine, a little work every day, and money worries kept low.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kleon says it takes a lot of energy to be creative, so look after yourself, stay out of debt and keep your day job. He says a job gives you money, a connection to the world and a routine, and that a fixed routine matters more than having lots of time. He recommends a wall calendar with a cross for each day's work, so the chain of crosses keeps you going, and a logbook listing what you did each day. Likely to trip me up: Kleon admits the hard part is doing the work when you come home tired, and that the romantic idea of the artist makes a steady life look like selling out. Note: advice from one artist's life. The calendar method is widely credited to a comedian who has said it was not his idea. (Source: Steal Like an Artist, Ch. 9.)
Resistance (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): a routine is how you beat it daily. Charge the Battery First (Make Time, Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky): look after the body that does the work.
Habits & Behavior Change
Be Boring
Ch. 9, Be Boring (It's the Only Way to Get Work Done). Page not verified (Workman, 2012).
Be more productive / organised; Journal / self-reflect; Save money / spend less; Sleep better
13; 24; 03; 05
Plan: I will fix a daily slot for the project, mark it on a wall calendar, keep a one-line logbook of each day, and keep my spending low so I am not forced to rush.
routine, discipline, day job, money, debt, sleep, health, calendar, streak, chain, logbook, journal, consistency, boring, creative life, side project, budget, stability, energy, habits
You picture the creative life as chaos and late nights. You burn through your savings and your sleep, and have no energy left to make anything.
Get a wall calendar. Set a small daily amount of work, and put a cross on every day you do it. Try not to break the chain.
Creative work runs on a steady, dull life: enough sleep, no debt, a day job, a calendar and a logbook. Save your wildness for the work.
Mastery
Single Model
Robert Greene
Not started
Get clearer on the kind of work that fits me, using evidence from my own past and not what sounds impressive.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greene opens with Leonardo da Vinci and argues that masters follow an inclination that showed in childhood. He offers strategies: return to your origins, find a niche where your interests meet, avoid the false path chosen to please others, and treat a wrong turn as something you can learn from. Likely to trip me up: Greene says the voice of your own inclination gets drowned out by parents, peers and the need for money, so by adulthood it is hard to hear. Note: Greene builds his case from the lives of famous people, not from research. We do not hear about those who followed a calling and failed. Range, by David Epstein, argues that most people find a fit by trying things, not by looking inward. (Source: Mastery, Part I.)
Match Quality (Range, David Epstein): the fit between you and the work matters more than an early start. Test and Learn (Flirt with Your Possible Selves) (Range, David Epstein): the opposite route to the same goal, by trying things.
Systems & Strategy
The Life's Task
Part I, Discover Your Calling: The Life's Task. Starts on p. 19 (Viking, 2012).
Learn a skill / upskill; Improve mental health / be happier
17; 04
Plan: I will list the activities that held my attention as a child and the tasks I lose track of time in now, and look for what they share. Then I will test one small step towards it.
calling, purpose, career, vocation, passion, childhood, inclination, wrong job, stuck, meaning, direction, niche, strengths, change career, parents, money, fulfilment, fulfillment, path, identity
You chose your path for money, status or your parents. You are good at the work and feel nothing for it.
Write down what absorbed you between the ages of about eight and fourteen. Look for the same pull in anything you do now.
Greene says each person has leanings that show early in life. Your Life's Task is work that fits them. Finding it starts by looking back.
Moonwalking with Einstein
Single Model
Joshua Foer
Not started
Hold the outline of a talk or a video in my head without notes.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Foer learns the technique that memory champions use, which goes back to ancient Rome. We remember places and striking images well and abstract lists badly. So each item becomes an image that is funny, rude or bizarre, set in a familiar building and visited in order. Using it, Foer went from an ordinary memory to winning the United States memory championship within a year. Likely to trip me up: Foer is frank about the limits. The method is for ordered lists and takes effort to set up. Soon after his win he took the train home from a dinner and only then remembered he had driven there. Note: the method of loci is well supported for memorising lists. It does not improve everyday memory in general. (Source: Moonwalking with Einstein, Ch. 5 and Epilogue.)
The Baker/baker Paradox (same book): why the images work. Vision Trumps All Other Senses (Brain Rules, John Medina): the brain favours pictures and places.
Learning & Knowledge
The Memory Palace
Ch. 5, The Memory Palace. Page not verified (Penguin Press, 2011).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
09; 17; 25
Plan: I will use my own home as the palace, place one odd image per point along a fixed route, and rehearse the walk twice before recording.
memory palace, method of loci, memorise, memorize, list, speech, presentation, exam, images, visualisation, visualization, route, house, mnemonic, recall, cards, numbers, study, technique, vivid
You need to hold a speech, a list or a set of points in your head, and rereading your notes ten times is not working.
Take five points you need to remember. Place a bizarre image for each in five spots around your home, then walk through it in your mind.
To remember a list, picture a place you know well and put one strange, vivid image for each item along a route through it.
Steal Like an Artist
Single Model
Austin Kleon
Not started
Get my ideas down away from the screen, where I do not edit them to death.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kleon says work that comes only from the head is no good, and that we need to feel we are making something with our bodies. He says the computer pushes us to edit before we have anything, since the delete key is always there. He keeps two desks: an analogue one with only paper, pens and cards, where work is born, and a digital one where it is edited and published. Likely to trip me up: Kleon admits the screen is where everything else lives too, so the pull back to it is constant. Note: this is one artist's working method. It is not a research finding. (Source: Steal Like an Artist, Ch. 4.)
Change Your Defaults (Make Time, Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky): make the screen harder to reach. Fill the Void First (High-Quality Leisure) (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): hands-on work is what replaces scrolling.
Creativity & Ideas
Use Your Hands
Ch. 4, Use Your Hands. Page not verified (Workman, 2012).
Cut phone / social-media use; Beat procrastination / focus; Journal / self-reflect
06; 07; 24
Plan: I will set up a small analogue corner with paper, cards and pens and no devices. Ideas start there. Only the editing happens at the computer.
analog, paper, pen, notebook, screen, computer, ideas, brainstorm, sketch, hands, delete key, editing, drafting, desk, standing, movement, creativity, distraction, index cards, offline
You sit at a screen to think of ideas. You fiddle, delete, check a tab, and an hour later the page is still empty.
For your next idea session, leave the devices in another room. Use paper and a pen, standing up if you can, for twenty minutes.
The computer is good for editing ideas and bad for having them. Start with pen, paper and your body. Go to the screen to finish.
Breath
Single Model
James Nestor
Not started
Make nose breathing my default during the day and on easy runs.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Nestor, a journalist, had his nose plugged for ten days in an experiment at a university clinic. His snoring and blood pressure rose sharply and he felt terrible. They fell back when he returned to nose breathing. He explains that the nose filters and conditions air and releases nitric oxide, which widens blood vessels and helps oxygen uptake. Likely to trip me up: Nestor says many people have blocked or narrow noses and breathe through the mouth without knowing. Note: the experiment involved two people, so it is a story, not a study. The basic physiology of the nose is well accepted. Some of the book's larger claims are disputed, and a constantly blocked nose is a reason to see a doctor. (Source: Breath, Ch. 2 and Ch. 3.)
The Five Sleep Thieves (Why We Sleep, Matthew Walker): another quiet thing that harms sleep. Habit Stacking (Atomic Habits, James Clear): attach the breathing check to things you already do.
Habits & Behavior Change
Breathe Through Your Nose
Ch. 2, Mouthbreathing, and Ch. 3, Nose. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2020).
Sleep better; Exercise / move daily; Manage stress / anxiety
05; 01; 12
Plan: I will check my breathing at set moments: at my desk, while walking, during easy exercise. If I cannot keep my mouth closed on a run, I will slow down until I can.
breathing, nose, mouth breathing, snoring, sleep, dry mouth, tired, running, exercise, congestion, posture, energy, calm, habit, air, oxygen, nitric oxide, desk, stress, health
You breathe through your mouth at your desk, on runs and in your sleep, and wake with a dry mouth, tired.
For the next hour, keep your lips closed and breathe only through your nose. Notice when you slip back.
The nose filters, warms and moistens air, and adds a gas that helps the body take up oxygen. Breathing through the mouth skips all of it.
Spark
Single Model
John Ratey with Eric Hagerman
Not started
Have a physical move ready for the moment a smoking urge hits, so that waiting it out is not my only option.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ratey reports studies in which a short bout of exercise, as little as five to ten minutes, reduced cravings in smokers and in people recovering from alcohol dependence, and describes recovery programmes built around running. He explains that addiction hijacks the brain's reward system, and that exercise gives that system a healthy source of dopamine, lowers the stress that triggers relapse, and builds a sense of control. Likely to trip me up: Ratey is clear that exercise is a tool inside a recovery plan, not a cure, and that stress is the most common trigger for relapse. Note: studies of short exercise bouts and cigarette cravings have held up well. Evidence for long-term quit rates is weaker. (Source: Spark, Ch. 7.)
Golden Rule of Habit Change (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): keep the cue, swap the routine. State of Being (Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Joe Dispenza): change the state and the urge changes with it.
Habits & Behavior Change
Move Through the Craving
Ch. 7, Addiction: Reclaiming the Biology of Self-Control. Page not verified (Little, Brown, 2008).
Quit smoking / vaping; Drink less alcohol; Cut phone / social-media use; Cut junk food / emotional eating
10; 11; 06; 19
Plan: When an urge comes I will do ten minutes of brisk movement before deciding anything. I will pair this with my five-minute delay and breathing plan, and log which urges pass.
craving, urge, smoking, vaping, nicotine, alcohol, drinking, addiction, quit, relapse, exercise, withdrawal, dopamine, reward, stress relief, replacement, phone, sugar, self-control, recovery
The urge to smoke, drink or scroll hits, and you have nothing to do with your body or your hands except give in.
Decide now what your ten-minute move will be when the next craving comes: stairs, push-ups, a fast walk round the block.
A craving is a short wave. Ten minutes of exercise can blunt it, and regular exercise gives the reward system something else to want.
Breath
Single Model
James Nestor
Not started
Have a two-minute tool I can use anywhere when stress or a craving hits.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Nestor reports research in which people reciting a Buddhist mantra or the Catholic rosary were all found to breathe at about the same slow rate, roughly five and a half breaths a minute, and that at this rate heart rate, blood pressure and breathing fell into step. He explains that slow breathing with long exhales shifts the body towards its rest-and-digest state, and fast breathing does the reverse. Likely to trip me up: Nestor says the benefits come from regular practice, and it is easy to forget the tool at the moment it is needed. Note: trials support slow breathing for lowering stress and blood pressure, with modest effects. The book also covers extreme breathing methods, which carry risks and which I am leaving out. (Source: Breath, Ch. 5 and Ch. 8.)
State of Being (Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Joe Dispenza): change the body's state first. Connection (Come Back to Now) (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): the breath is an anchor to the present.
Mindset & Emotions
Slow Your Breath to Slow Your Body
Ch. 5, Slow. Background on the nervous system in Ch. 8, More, on Occasion. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2020).
Manage stress / anxiety; Meditate / mindfulness; Quit smoking / vaping; Stop overthinking / rumination
12; 21; 10; 15
Plan: I will practise slow nose breathing for five minutes each morning so it is familiar, and use two minutes of it when an urge or a stressful call arrives.
breathing, slow breathing, calm, stress, anxiety, panic, exhale, nervous system, heart rate, relax, meditation, pranayama, craving, urge, anger, sleep, focus, vagus, pause, mindfulness
Stress hits, your breathing goes fast and shallow, and the fast breathing keeps the alarm going. You do not notice any of it.
Right now, breathe in through your nose for about five seconds and out for about five seconds. Keep going for two minutes.
Breathing is the one automatic function you can steer. Slow breaths with long exhales signal the nervous system to calm down.
Why We Sleep
Single Model
Matthew Walker
Not started
Treat a full night's sleep as part of how I get over a bad day, not as something to give up when I am upset.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Walker explains that REM sleep is the one time the brain is free of noradrenaline, its stress chemical, while emotion and memory areas are active. In his lab, people who slept between two viewings of upsetting images reacted less strongly the second time, and those who stayed awake did not. He also describes a drug that lowers noradrenaline at night and eased nightmares in war veterans. Likely to trip me up: Walker notes that the late-morning hours are richest in REM sleep, so an early alarm cuts exactly this part. Alcohol suppresses it too. Note: this is Walker's own theory. The studies support it, but it is not settled science, and it is no substitute for help with trauma. (Source: Why We Sleep, Ch. 10.)
10-10-10 (Thinking in Bets, Annie Duke): let time change the view before you act. A Tired Brain Has Weak Brakes (same book): short sleep does the opposite.
Mindset & Emotions
Overnight Therapy
Ch. 10, Dreaming as Overnight Therapy. Starts on p. 206 (Scribner, 2017).
Sleep better; Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination
05; 04; 12; 15
Plan: After an upsetting day I will keep my normal bedtime, write the issue down so it is parked, and look at it again after breakfast.
sleep, dreams, rem, emotions, upset, trauma, grief, breakup, argument, sleep on it, morning, mood, healing, memories, stress, anxiety, nightmares, late night, overthinking, rest
Something upsetting happens and you stay up late going over it. You cut short the very sleep that would have softened it.
After a hard day, protect tonight's full sleep. Do not make the big decision or send the message until the morning.
Dream sleep replays upsetting memories with the brain's stress chemical switched off. You keep the memory and lose some of its sting.
The 4-Hour Body
Single Model
Tim Ferriss
Not started
Find the smallest amount of exercise that still moves my numbers, so I can keep it up for years.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ferriss defines the minimum effective dose as the smallest dose that will produce a desired outcome, a concept he credits to the exercise pioneer Arthur Jones. His picture is boiling water: it boils at 100 degrees, and more heat does not make it more boiled. Extra effort uses up resources that recovery, or something else, needs. Likely to trip me up: Ferriss says doing more feels virtuous, so people add work that slows their results. Note: the book is built on the author's self-experiments and interviews, not controlled research. I am using its thinking tools and leaving out its diet, supplement and drug advice. (Source: The 4-Hour Body, 'The Minimum Effective Dose'.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): small enough to start. The 80/20 Rule (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): most of the result comes from a little of the effort.
Productivity & Focus
The Minimum Effective Dose
Chapter 'The Minimum Effective Dose: From Microwaves to Fat-Loss'. Starts on p. 17 (Crown Archetype, 2010).
Exercise / move daily; Lose weight; Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill
01; 08; 13; 17
Plan: I will start with two short strength sessions a week, track one or two measures, and add more only if progress stalls.
minimum effective dose, med, less is more, overtraining, efficiency, workout, exercise, time, busy, burnout, dose, results, measure, waste, simple, 80/20, consistency, recovery, fat loss, strength
You assume more is better. You plan six workouts a week and two-hour study sessions, burn out in a fortnight, and stop.
For one habit, ask: what is the least I could do and still get the result? Do only that for two weeks and measure.
The minimum effective dose is the smallest input that produces the result you want. Anything beyond it is waste, and can set you back.
Why We Sleep
Single Model
Matthew Walker
Not started
Set up my evenings and my bedroom so that sleep comes without effort.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Walker says evening light, and blue LED light most of all, delays the release of melatonin. He reports a study in which reading on a tablet before bed pushed melatonin back by hours compared with a printed book. He says the body must drop about one degree Celsius to start sleep, so a cool room of roughly 18 degrees helps. He explains that alcohol sedates without giving natural sleep: it breaks sleep into fragments and suppresses REM. Likely to trip me up: Walker says a nightcap feels like it helps, because sedation comes fast and the broken sleep is not remembered. Note: alcohol's effect on sleep is well supported. Later studies suggest the effect of screens on falling asleep is smaller than the book implies. (Source: Why We Sleep, Ch. 13.)
Friction (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): change the setting, not the willpower. The Two Forces of Sleep (same book): caffeine and light act on those two forces.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Five Sleep Thieves
Ch. 13, iPads, Factory Whistles, and Nightcaps: What's Stopping You from Sleeping? Starts on p. 265 (Scribner, 2017).
Sleep better; Cut phone / social-media use; Drink less alcohol
05; 06; 11
Plan: I will dim lights and stop bright screens an hour before bed, keep the bedroom cool and dark, and skip alcohol on work nights. I will change one thing per week so I can see what helps.
sleep, insomnia, light, screens, blue light, phone, bedroom, temperature, cool room, alcohol, nightcap, caffeine, alarm, snooze, melatonin, bedtime, environment, evening, wind down, dark
You lie awake and decide you are 'a bad sleeper'. Meanwhile the room is warm, the screen was bright, and you had two drinks.
Tonight, dim the lights an hour before bed and make the bedroom cooler than feels natural. Notice how fast you fall asleep.
Five modern things steal sleep: bright light at night, warm rooms, caffeine, alcohol and alarm clocks. Fix these before you blame yourself.
Brain Rules
Single Model
John Medina
Not started
Make what I learn, and what I teach, richer than text alone.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Medina reports research by the psychologist Richard Mayer showing that people learn more from words and pictures together than from words alone, and more when the two appear close together in time and space. He says that senses work as a team, so information taken in through several senses is recalled better, and that smell is unusually good at bringing back memories. Likely to trip me up: Medina passes on Mayer's finding that extra material hurts: adding decoration, music or text that is not needed lowers learning. More senses helps only if each one carries the message. Note: this is not the idea of 'learning styles', which has not held up in research. The finding is that everyone learns better with combined channels. (Source: Brain Rules, Sensory Integration chapter.)
Vision Trumps All Other Senses (same book): the strongest single channel. Retrieval Practice (Make It Stick, Peter Brown, Henry Roediger and Mark McDaniel): saying it aloud from memory adds a channel and a test.
Learning & Knowledge
Stimulate More of the Senses
Sensory Integration chapter, 'Stimulate more of the senses'. Rule #9 in the first edition (Pear Press, 2008). Chapter order differs in the 2014 updated edition. Page not verified.
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: When I study a model I will read it, say it aloud in my own words and draw it. In videos I will put the image and the spoken words for an idea on screen at the same moment.
senses, multisensory, learning, memory, pictures, words, audio, video, smell, touch, hands-on, teaching, study, multimedia, presentation, recall, experience, practice, engagement, encode
You try to learn by reading or listening only. It goes in flat and comes out missing.
For the next thing you study, add a second channel: say it aloud, sketch it, or handle the real object while you read.
We learn better when more than one sense is involved. Words with pictures beat words alone, and they work best presented together.
Brain Rules
Single Model
John Medina
Not started
Hold attention through my videos by resetting it on purpose, not by hoping.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Medina, a molecular biologist, says he saw his students' attention sink at around ten minutes, so he rebuilt his lectures in ten-minute blocks. Each block covers one core concept, explained in a minute, with the details after. Between blocks he uses a hook that triggers an emotion and is relevant to the material. He explains that the brain attends to emotion and meaning before detail. Likely to trip me up: Medina says a hook that is not relevant feels like a trick and loses the audience. Note: the ten-minute figure comes from his own teaching and a small literature. A later review found little solid evidence for a fixed attention span in lectures, so treat ten minutes as a rule of thumb. (Source: Brain Rules, Attention chapter.)
Variable Reward (Hooked, Nir Eyal): surprise holds attention. Talk About What They Want (How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie): relevance is what earns attention.
People & Communication
The 10-Minute Rule
Attention chapter, 'We don't pay attention to boring things'. Rule #4 in the first edition (Pear Press, 2008). The 2014 updated edition puts the chapters in a different order. Page not verified.
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 17
Plan: I will split each script into segments of ten minutes or less, each with one core idea stated first. Between segments I will place a short, relevant story. I will check the retention graph for drops.
attention, presentation, teaching, lecture, video, youtube, audience, boring, engagement, hook, story, emotion, retention, public speaking, meeting, slides, ten minutes, structure, gist, details
Your talk, lesson or video starts well. Ten minutes in, people are checking their phones, and you keep adding details.
Take your next talk or video and mark every ten minutes. At each mark, add a short story or surprise that is tied to the point.
Attention fades after about ten minutes. Win it back with something that stirs emotion, and give the main idea before the details.
Outlive
Single Model
Peter Attia with Bill Gifford
Not started
Treat my health like long-term saving: start early, while nothing is wrong.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Attia, a physician, contrasts what he calls Medicine 2.0, which treats disease once it appears, with Medicine 3.0, which works on prevention decades earlier. He says heart disease, cancer, dementia and type 2 diabetes develop slowly and are far advanced by the time they are diagnosed. His aim is healthspan, the years lived in good health, not only lifespan. Likely to trip me up: Attia says prevention has no immediate feedback. Nothing hurts, so it is always easy to put off. Note: this is one doctor's framework. Some of his specific recommendations, such as very early and aggressive testing and treatment, are debated among doctors. Medical decisions belong with your own doctor. (Source: Outlive, Ch. 1 and Ch. 2.)
Quadrant II (Important, Not Urgent) (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): prevention is never urgent. Confounding Compounding (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): small early actions grow large over decades.
Systems & Strategy
Medicine 3.0: Prevent, Don't Repair
Ch. 2, Medicine 3.0: Rethinking Medicine for the Age of Chronic Disease. Starts on p. 20 (Vermilion UK edition, 2023).
Exercise / move daily; Eat healthier; Sleep better; Quit smoking / vaping
01; 02; 05; 10
Plan: I will get a baseline check-up this year, learn my family history, and pick one long-term risk to work on with exercise, food or sleep.
prevention, health, longevity, check-up, early, chronic disease, heart disease, diabetes, risk, doctor, blood test, family history, aging, healthspan, long term, proactive, screening, lifestyle, future self, delay
You feel fine, so you do nothing. You plan to deal with your health when a doctor tells you something is wrong.
Book the basic check-up you have been putting off, and write down your family's history of heart disease, diabetes and cancer.
The big killers build slowly over decades. Acting early, long before symptoms, beats the best treatment that arrives late.
Brain Rules
Single Model
John Medina
Not started
When stress goes on for weeks, look for the part I can control, because that is what protects my thinking.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Medina explains that the stress system evolved for threats lasting seconds. When stress lasts months, the stress hormone damages the brain's memory centre, and people do worse at learning, memory and problem solving. He says the worst kind is a severe problem the person feels unable to control, and describes the classic experiments on learned helplessness. He also says stress at home shows up as poor performance at school and work. Likely to trip me up: Medina says people differ a lot in what they find stressful, so comparing my load with someone else's tells me little. (Source: Brain Rules, Stress chapter.)
Circle of Concern, Circle of Influence (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): put effort where you have some control. It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): the part you can always work on.
Mindset & Emotions
Stress Without Control
Stress chapter, 'Stressed brains don't learn the same way'. Rule #8 in the first edition (Pear Press, 2008). Chapter order differs in the 2014 updated edition. Page not verified.
Manage stress / anxiety; Read / learn more; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 09; 04
Plan: For any long-running stress I will list what is and is not in my control, act on one controllable item per week, and get support for the rest.
stress, control, helpless, chronic stress, cortisol, memory, learning, concentration, work stress, home, marriage, burnout, anxiety, forgetful, brain fog, trapped, pressure, children, school, overwhelm
A situation at home or at work drags on with no way out. You cannot concentrate, you forget things, and you blame your brain.
Pick one ongoing stress. Write down one part of it you can control, however small, and act on that part today.
The stress that harms thinking most is the kind you feel you cannot control. Long-term, it damages memory and learning.
Spark
Single Model
John Ratey with Eric Hagerman
Not started
Use movement as a regular tool for my mood, not only for fitness.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ratey reports a university trial in which people with depression were given exercise, an antidepressant, or both. After sixteen weeks all three groups had improved about equally, and months later the exercise group had relapsed less. For anxiety, he explains that exercise lets people feel a racing heart and fast breathing in a safe setting, so those sensations stop signalling danger. Likely to trip me up: Ratey says low mood removes the drive to start, which is the hardest part. Note: later reviews agree that exercise helps depression, though with smaller effects in the best-run trials. It is not a replacement for medical care, and anyone with serious symptoms should see a doctor. (Source: Spark, Ch. 4 and Ch. 5.)
Action Comes Before Motivation (Feeling Good, David Burns): do not wait to feel like it. Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): on bad days, shrink it until you can start.
Mindset & Emotions
Move Your Mood
Ch. 4, Anxiety: Nothing to Panic About, and Ch. 5, Depression: Move Your Mood. Page not verified (Little, Brown, 2008).
Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety; Exercise / move daily
04; 12; 01
Plan: I will aim for thirty minutes of moderate movement most days and log my mood before and after for a month. On bad days the rule is ten minutes, not zero.
mood, depression, anxiety, low, sad, exercise, running, walk, endorphins, serotonin, panic, racing heart, motivation, mental health, antidepressant, energy, stuck, lethargy, therapy, wellbeing
When you feel low or anxious, moving is the last thing you want. So you stay still, and the low mood deepens.
The next time your mood drops, go for a ten-minute brisk walk before you do anything else. Rate your mood before and after.
Regular aerobic exercise lifts mood and eases anxiety. In some trials it did about as well as medication for milder depression.
Spark
Single Model
John Ratey with Eric Hagerman
Not started
Use a short workout as my first tool for focus, before caffeine or willpower.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ratey, a psychiatrist who specialises in attention problems, explains that exercise raises dopamine and norepinephrine, the chemicals that attention medicines target. He says the lift in focus lasts roughly an hour or more after a session, and that activities needing coordination, like martial arts or climbing, engage attention more than steady jogging. Likely to trip me up: Ratey says the effect is temporary, so it has to be timed just before the work that needs it, and repeated daily. Note: he presents exercise as a complement to treatment for attention disorders, not a replacement. (Source: Spark, Ch. 6.)
Attention Residue (Deep Work, Cal Newport): the other thing that drains focus. Multitasking Is a Lie (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller): protect the focus once you have it.
Productivity & Focus
A Workout Is a Dose of Focus
Ch. 6, Attention Deficit: Running from Distraction. Page not verified (Little, Brown, 2008).
Beat procrastination / focus; Exercise / move daily; Be more productive / organised; Limit multitasking / context-switching
07; 01; 13; 28
Plan: I will schedule my deep work block right after morning exercise, and use a five-minute movement break when my attention fades in the afternoon.
focus, attention, adhd, distraction, concentration, exercise, dopamine, restless, fidget, procrastination, morning, energy, study, work, brain fog, caffeine, movement, willpower, sitting, productivity
You sit down to work and your attention slides off the page within minutes. You reach for coffee or your phone.
Before your hardest task today, do ten minutes of something that needs effort and coordination: skipping, stairs, a fast walk.
Exercise raises dopamine and norepinephrine, the same chemicals attention medicines act on. The effect on focus lasts an hour or more.
The 4-Hour Body
Single Model
Tim Ferriss
Not started
Build my next habit change so that quitting quietly is hard.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ferriss gives four principles. Make it conscious: he reports research in which people who photographed their meals ate better, since they had to look before eating. Make it a game: measure something, and get through the first five sessions. He cites a running app whose users were far more likely to keep going once they had logged five runs. Make it competitive: use bets and peers, since fear of loss and of looking bad motivates. Make it small and temporary: he cites the behaviour researcher BJ Fogg on shrinking the first step. Likely to trip me up: Ferriss says people rely on self-discipline and skip these props because they seem childish. Note: these are the author's rules of thumb, drawn from a few small studies and his own trials. (Source: The 4-Hour Body, 'From Photos to Fear'.)
B = MAP (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): make it small. Precommitment Pacts (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): put something at stake.
Habits & Behavior Change
Four Ways to Failure-Proof a Habit
Chapter 'From Photos to Fear: Making Failure Impossible'. Starts on p. 58 (Crown Archetype, 2010).
Eat healthier; Lose weight; Exercise / move daily; Cut junk food / emotional eating
02; 08; 01; 19
Plan: For my next change I will track it visibly, score it, tell one friend who is doing it too, and commit to two weeks only. Then I will review.
failure, stick, adherence, tracking, photos, food diary, game, streak, competition, bet, accountability, friends, small, temporary, challenge, measure, diet, exercise, motivation, quitting
You start a plan in private, with no measurement, no one watching, and a huge first step. By week three it has quietly ended.
Photograph everything you eat today before you eat it. Change nothing else.
To make a change stick: make it conscious, make it a game, make it competitive, and make it small and temporary.
Outlive
Single Model
Peter Attia with Bill Gifford
Not started
Stop collecting health tactics and decide what I am aiming for first.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Attia says most people go straight to tactics, such as which diet or which supplement, without a strategy, so they jump from one to the next. He borrows the order from military thinking and the old saying that tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat. His own objective is to delay death and to improve the last decade of life. His strategy is to delay the main chronic diseases, and his tactics fall into exercise, nutrition, sleep, emotional health and medicines. Likely to trip me up: Attia says tactics are appealing because they are concrete and promise quick results. Strategy is slow, abstract work. (Source: Outlive, Ch. 3.)
Begin with the End in Mind (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): the objective comes first. The Focusing Question (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller): find the one thing that serves the goal.
Systems & Strategy
Objective, Strategy, Tactics
Ch. 3, Objective, Strategy, Tactics: A Road Map for Reading This Book. Starts on p. 36 (Vermilion UK edition, 2023).
Eat healthier; Exercise / move daily; Be more productive / organised; Lose weight
02; 01; 13; 08
Plan: I will write my objective for my health in one sentence, choose a strategy for it, and only then pick tactics. I will judge every new tip by asking which strategy it serves.
objective, strategy, tactics, goals, plan, diet, workout, apps, hacks, switching, shiny object, confusion, direction, priorities, fitness, health, framework, purpose, system, focus
You jump between diets, workout plans and apps. Each one is a tactic. You have never decided what you are actually trying to achieve.
For one area, write three lines: my objective, my strategy, my tactics. If you can only fill in the third line, stop and do the first.
Decide the objective first, then the strategy, and only then the tactics. Most people start with tactics and keep switching them.
Outlive
Single Model
Peter Attia with Bill Gifford
Not started
Stop diet-hopping and pick one approach to eating that I can actually sustain.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Attia says the real problem is the standard modern diet of too much processed food, and that there are three ways to move away from it: restricting calories, restricting particular foods, or restricting the hours you eat. He says any of them can work and each has a cost: counting is tedious, cutting the wrong food achieves little, and narrow eating windows can lead to too little protein and loss of muscle. Likely to trip me up: Attia says people defend diets like religions. He argues that most nutrition research is too weak to settle the arguments, so the honest test is what works for my body and what I can keep doing. Note: Attia's own views on fasting have changed over time, and his protein targets are higher than standard guidelines. (Source: Outlive, Ch. 14 and Ch. 15.)
Objective, Strategy, Tactics (same book): a diet is a tactic. Script the Critical Moves (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): one clear rule beats a vague intention.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Three Levers of Eating
Ch. 15, Putting Nutritional Biochemistry into Practice. Starts on p. 307. Background in Ch. 14, Nutrition 3.0, p. 291 (Vermilion UK edition, 2023).
Eat healthier; Lose weight; Cut junk food / emotional eating
02; 08; 19
Plan: I will choose one lever for two months, most likely cutting specific foods, and track my weight, energy and how hard it feels. I will keep my protein up whichever lever I use.
diet, eating, calories, fasting, intermittent fasting, keto, low carb, vegan, weight loss, nutrition, protein, overeating, junk food, sugar, tracking, meal timing, sustainable, confusion, food rules, health
You argue about which named diet is best, switch every few months, and end up back where you started.
Look at how you eat now and ask which one lever you could realistically hold for a year. Try only that one for two weeks.
Every diet pulls one of three levers: eat less overall, cut certain foods, or eat in a shorter window. Choose the one you can keep up.
The 4-Hour Body
Single Model
Tim Ferriss
Not started
Find the reason that makes my habit change non-negotiable, not just a good idea.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ferriss tells the story of a programmer who had been overweight for years. While shopping in Tokyo's Harajuku district he heard himself say that it did not matter what he wore, since he would not look good anyway. Shocked at how helpless he sounded, he treated his body like a system to debug, began tracking simple data, and lost over thirty kilograms. Ferriss's point is that people rarely lack information. They lack the moment that turns it into a must. Likely to trip me up: Ferriss notes you cannot schedule an epiphany. What I can do is look honestly at the facts, and the story suggests that even imperfect tracking makes the facts hard to ignore. Note: this is one person's story, not research. (Source: The 4-Hour Body, 'The Harajuku Moment'.)
Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): the moment changes who you think you are. Cope Without Fooling Yourself (The Scout Mindset, Julia Galef): face the facts as they are.
Mindset & Emotions
The Harajuku Moment
Chapter 'The Harajuku Moment: The Decision to Become a Complete Human'. Starts on p. 36 (Crown Archetype, 2010).
Lose weight; Exercise / move daily; Quit smoking / vaping; Reduce debt / control spending
08; 01; 10; 22
Plan: I will write down what my current habits will cost me in five years if nothing changes, as plainly as I can. Then I will start tracking one number so I cannot look away from it.
motivation, turning point, epiphany, wake-up call, rock bottom, excuses, weight loss, overweight, helpless, decision, commitment, must, change, data, tracking, self-image, denial, start, health, reasons
You know exactly what to do about your weight, your money or your smoking. You have known for years, and you still do not do it.
Write one honest sentence about what your current habit is costing you, in words you would not say aloud. Read it back.
A Harajuku moment is when a nice-to-have becomes a must-have. Information you already had starts to work only after that point.
Brain Rules
Single Model
John Medina
Not started
Make the ideas in my videos and notes easier to remember by giving each one a picture.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Medina reports that people recall only about ten percent of information three days after hearing it, and about sixty-five percent if a picture is added. He says vision takes up about half of the brain's resources, and that reading is slow because the brain treats each letter as a tiny picture. His advice is to use fewer words and more images. Likely to trip me up: Medina says text is the default in schools and offices, so making a picture takes extra effort. Note: the advantage of pictures for memory has been found many times. The exact percentages are his summary and should not be treated as precise. (Source: Brain Rules, Vision chapter.)
Chunking (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): a picture packs many pieces into one. Mental Representations (Peak, Anders Ericsson): experts hold rich pictures of their field.
Learning & Knowledge
Vision Trumps All Other Senses
Vision chapter, 'Vision trumps all other senses'. Rule #10 in the first edition (Pear Press, 2008). Chapter order differs in the 2014 updated edition. Page not verified.
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
09; 17; 25
Plan: For each model I cover, I will create one simple visual that carries the idea, and cut the on-screen text to a few words.
visual, pictures, images, memory, slides, presentation, diagrams, drawing, sketch, text, reading, notes, learning, teaching, video, thumbnails, recall, infographic, design, remember
Your slides are walls of text and your notes are paragraphs. A week later nobody, including you, remembers them.
Take one idea you need to remember or teach. Draw it as a simple picture or diagram, however rough.
People remember pictures far better than words. If you want an idea to stick, show it as an image, not only as text or speech.
Outlive
Single Model
Peter Attia with Bill Gifford
Not started
Give my exercise a concrete target that matters to me: staying capable when I am old.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Attia asks patients to list the ten most important physical tasks they want to manage in their final decade, such as lifting a grandchild or carrying groceries. He then works backwards. Because strength and aerobic fitness decline steadily with age, he says you need to be well above the required level in midlife to still clear it at ninety. Likely to trip me up: Attia says people underestimate how steep the decline is, so a level that feels fine today will not be enough later. Training for an event decades away has no deadline. Note: this is Attia's own framework from his practice, not a tested programme. (Source: Outlive, Ch. 11 and Ch. 12.)
Backcasting and the Premortem (Thinking in Bets, Annie Duke): work backwards from the future you want. Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): train as the person you intend to be.
Systems & Strategy
The Centenarian Decathlon
Introduced in Ch. 11 (starts on p. 216) and developed in Ch. 12, Training 101: How to Prepare for the Centenarian Decathlon (starts on p. 235) (Vermilion UK edition, 2023).
Exercise / move daily; Lose weight; Spend time with family/friends
01; 08; 14
Plan: I will write my own list of ten tasks, note what each needs in strength, stamina and balance, and check that my weekly training covers all three.
fitness, goals, aging, strength, old age, independence, mobility, training, exercise, future self, long term, grandchildren, stairs, balance, muscle, motivation, plan, decline, functional, longevity
'Get fit' is too vague to act on. You exercise without a target, lose interest, and stop.
Write down five things you want to be able to do at eighty, like carrying shopping up stairs or getting up off the floor unaided.
List the physical things you want to be able to do in your last decade. Work out what that takes, and start training for it now.
Outlive
Single Model
Peter Attia with Bill Gifford
Not started
Make exercise the first thing I protect in my week, ahead of any other health effort.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Attia calls exercise the most powerful longevity drug. He cites large studies in which people with low aerobic fitness died at several times the rate of the fittest, a gap bigger than the one linked to smoking, and others linking low muscle strength to higher death rates. He says the largest benefit comes from moving out of the least-fit group, so going from zero to a little matters most. Likely to trip me up: Attia says people argue about the perfect programme and never start. Note: these are observational studies. Fit people differ from unfit people in many ways, so the size of the effect is uncertain, though trials also support the benefits of exercise. (Source: Outlive, Ch. 11.)
The 80/20 Rule (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): put effort where most of the result comes from. Keystone Habits (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): exercise tends to pull other habits up with it.
Habits & Behavior Change
Exercise Is the Strongest Lever
Ch. 11, Exercise: The Most Powerful Longevity Drug. Starts on p. 216 (Vermilion UK edition, 2023).
Exercise / move daily; Lose weight; Improve mental health / be happier
01; 08; 04
Plan: I will build up to three hours a week, mixing steady cardio, some hard efforts and strength work. When the week is tight, I will shorten sessions, not skip them.
exercise, longevity, fitness, vo2 max, cardio, strength, muscle, walking, lifespan, health, priorities, supplements, sedentary, sitting, aging, heart, training, zone 2, grip strength, mortality
You put your effort into supplements, diets and gadgets, and treat exercise as optional when time is short.
If you do no exercise now, do twenty minutes of brisk walking today. Attia says the biggest gain comes from going from nothing to something.
Of everything you can do for a long, healthy life, exercise has the biggest effect. Fitness and strength both track closely with survival.
Brain Rules
Single Model
John Medina
Not started
Stop scheduling demanding work in my daily low point.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Medina explains that two opposing drives, one keeping us awake and one pushing us to sleep, reach a standoff in the mid-afternoon, which he calls the nap zone. He reports a NASA study in which a nap of about twenty-six minutes improved pilots' performance by over a third. He also describes early types, late types and those in between, and suggests matching work schedules to them. Likely to trip me up: Medina says workplaces are not built for naps or for different body clocks, so I may only be able to move tasks, not rest. Note: a long or late nap can make it harder to sleep at night. (Source: Brain Rules, Sleep chapter.)
The Two Forces of Sleep (Why We Sleep, Matthew Walker): the same two drives, explained in full. Schedule Every Minute (Time Blocking) (Deep Work, Cal Newport): place hard work where your energy is.
Productivity & Focus
The Nap Zone
Sleep chapter, 'Sleep well, think well'. Rule #7 in the first edition (Pear Press, 2008). Chapter order differs in the 2014 updated edition. Page not verified.
Be more productive / organised; Sleep better; Be more punctual / manage time
13; 05; 23
Plan: I will track my energy for a week to find my dip, put deep work in my best hours, and test a short early-afternoon nap on days I can.
nap, afternoon slump, energy, tired, sleepy, 3pm, productivity, schedule, chronotype, lark, owl, coffee, siesta, alertness, focus, meetings, timing, rest, performance, body clock
Every day around three o'clock you hit a wall, push through with coffee, and do your worst work of the day.
Today, move your hardest task out of the mid-afternoon. Use that slot for easy admin, a walk, or a twenty-minute nap.
Alertness dips in the mid-afternoon for everyone. Do not fight it with willpower. Plan around it, or take a short nap.
Spark
Single Model
John Ratey with Eric Hagerman
Not started
Use exercise as preparation for learning, not as a separate chore that competes with it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ratey describes a school district near Chicago where students did vigorous exercise before class. The school reported better reading scores for those students, and the district scored near the top of the world on an international science test. He explains that exercise raises a protein he calls Miracle-Gro for the brain, and reports a study in which people learned vocabulary faster right after hard exercise. Likely to trip me up: Ratey says the brain cannot learn difficult material during very intense exercise, since blood is directed away from the thinking areas. The benefit comes just after. Note: the school story is a case study, not a controlled trial. The general link between fitness and thinking is well supported, but effect sizes in later reviews are modest. (Source: Spark, Ch. 1 and Ch. 2.)
Focused and Diffuse Modes (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): movement also gives the diffuse mode its turn. Keystone Habits (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): exercise is the classic example.
Learning & Knowledge
Move First, Then Learn
Ch. 1, Welcome to the Revolution, and Ch. 2, Learning: Grow Your Brain Cells. Page not verified (Little, Brown, 2008).
Exercise / move daily; Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill; Beat procrastination / focus
01; 09; 17; 07
Plan: I will put a short run or brisk walk directly before my main reading block, three days a week, and compare how much I retain with the days I skip it.
exercise, learning, study, brain, bdnf, focus, memory, exam, students, running, cardio, morning workout, foggy, energy, school, neuroplasticity, walk, movement, concentration, fitness
You sit down to study tired and foggy, read the same page three times, and decide you are not a good learner.
Before your next study or deep work session, do ten to twenty minutes of brisk movement that gets you slightly out of breath.
Aerobic exercise raises the brain chemicals that help new connections form. A workout before study makes the brain readier to learn.
Spark
Single Model
John Ratey with Eric Hagerman
Not started
Use exercise as practice at handling stress, and stop treating every stressor as damage.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ratey describes exercise as a mild stress that the body and brain overcompensate for, leaving cells sturdier than before. He calls this stress inoculation. He contrasts it with chronic stress, where the stress hormone stays high and damages the brain's memory centre. Regular exercise, he says, raises the threshold at which the stress response fires. Likely to trip me up: Ratey says the dose matters. Too much, with no recovery, turns the same process harmful, and a stressed person is the least likely to feel like moving. (Source: Spark, Ch. 3.)
Harnessing Adaptability (Peak, Anders Ericsson): push just past the comfortable level and the body rebuilds stronger. The Struggle Switch (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): fighting the stress response adds to it.
Mindset & Emotions
Stress Is a Dose
Ch. 3, Stress: The Greatest Challenge. Page not verified (Little, Brown, 2008).
Manage stress / anxiety; Exercise / move daily; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 01; 04
Plan: I will do three short, hard sessions a week and protect the recovery after each one. When work stress runs for days, I will add recovery, not more pushing.
stress, recovery, resilience, burnout, pressure, exercise, cortisol, overwhelm, rest, toughness, anxiety, workload, inoculation, adapt, strong, tired, balance, hard things, comfort zone, energy
You treat all stress as the enemy and avoid anything hard. Or you stay under pressure for months with no recovery and wonder why you are fraying.
Today, put one short, hard effort into your day, such as a fast ten-minute walk uphill, and follow it with real rest.
Stress followed by recovery makes you stronger, in muscles and in brain cells alike. Stress without recovery wears you down.
The Scout Mindset
Single Model
Julia Galef
Not started
Look at my own situation the way a newcomer would, without my history attached.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Galef tells how Intel's leaders, stuck in a failing memory chip business, asked what a new chief executive would do if the board replaced them. The answer was obvious: get out of memory chips. They did it themselves. She offers this alongside other thought experiments for spotting bias, such as the double standard test and the status quo bias test. Likely to trip me up: Galef says these tests only work if I actually picture the other situation and do not just say the words. It is easy to run the test and hear the answer I wanted. (Source: The Scout Mindset, Ch. 5.)
Uncommit (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): ask if you would sign up today. Match Quality (Range, David Epstein): fit matters more than years invested.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Outsider Test
Ch. 5, Noticing Bias. Starts on p. 59 (Portfolio, 2021).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised; Reduce debt / control spending
17; 13; 22
Plan: Once a quarter I will do the outsider test on my job, my main project and my biggest expense. For beliefs, I will also check if I would judge the same evidence differently coming from the other side.
outsider, fresh eyes, perspective, sunk cost, status quo, stuck, career, business, project, habits, bias test, thought experiment, double standard, objectivity, decision, change, restart, quit, pivot, clarity
You stay with a plan, a job or a project because of everything you have put into it. You cannot see it the way a newcomer would.
Pick one thing you are stuck on. Write what a smart stranger, handed your exact situation this morning, would do first.
Imagine someone new took over your situation today, with none of your history. What would they do? Then ask why you are not doing it.
The Scout Mindset
Single Model
Julia Galef
Not started
Handle bad news without lying to myself about it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Galef opens with a man stranded alone at sea who survived by staying accurate about his odds while keeping calm. She lists honest ways to cope: make a plan, notice silver linings, focus on a different goal, and remember that things could be worse. Her point is that self-deception is only one of many ways to cope, and the others do not damage your judgement. Likely to trip me up: Galef says the comforting lie comes to mind first and works at once. The honest option takes a moment longer to find. (Source: The Scout Mindset, Ch. 7.)
Defusion (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): you can feel the feeling without believing the story. The Struggle Switch (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): fighting reality adds pain.
Mindset & Emotions
Cope Without Fooling Yourself
Ch. 7, Coping with Reality. Starts on p. 91 (Portfolio, 2021).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
12; 04; 27
Plan: When something goes wrong, I will write what happened in plain words, then pick a true way to feel better: make a plan, find a real upside, or remember a time I came through worse.
coping, setback, denial, excuses, comfort, self-deception, rationalising, rationalizing, failure, rejection, stress, bad news, resilience, honesty, silver lining, plan, acceptance, emotions, disappointment, truth
After a setback you tell yourself it was not your fault, or that you never wanted it anyway. It soothes you and costs you the lesson.
Think of one recent disappointment. Find a comforting thought about it that is also true, such as 'I handled the part I controlled.'
When things go badly, there is almost always a way to feel better that does not need you to believe something false. Look for that one.
The Scout Mindset
Single Model
Julia Galef
Not started
Get curious when something does not fit, not defensive.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Galef says most big changes of mind come from many small anomalies that pile up until the old view cannot hold them. She suggests assuming that behaviour which looks irrational may make sense from a position I have not understood yet. Likely to trip me up: Galef says it is always possible to make an odd fact fit my current theory with a little effort, and each time feels reasonable. Resisting that pull is the skill. (Source: The Scout Mindset, Ch. 11.)
The Map Is Not the Territory (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): surprise is the ground disagreeing with the map. Update in Small Steps (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): each clue moves you a little.
Learning & Knowledge
Lean In to Confusion
Ch. 11, Lean In to Confusion. Starts on p. 151 (Portfolio, 2021).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more; Improve relationships / communicate
17; 09; 25
Plan: I will keep a short 'that's odd' list. For each entry I will write what I expected, what happened, and one view of the world in which it makes sense.
confusion, surprise, anomaly, doesn't fit, fluke, curiosity, puzzle, assumptions, paradigm, blind spot, irrational, people, results, data, learning, questions, open mind, investigate, wrong, change mind
A result surprises you and you file it under 'fluke'. A person acts out of pattern and you call them irrational. Your map never changes.
Write down one thing that surprised you this week. Ask: if this is not a fluke, what would it mean I have wrong?
When something does not fit your view, do not explain it away. Treat the odd detail as a clue that your picture is missing something.
Factfulness
Single Model
Hans Rosling with Ola Rosling and Anna Rosling Rönnlund
Not started
Stop letting the news set my mood. I want to stay informed by trends, not by alarms.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rosling shows that on many measures, such as extreme poverty, child deaths and life expectancy, the world has improved greatly, while most people he surveyed believed the opposite. He says three things feed the instinct: we misremember the past as better, reporting selects for bad events, and it feels heartless to say things are improving. His picture is a premature baby in an incubator: bad and better at once. Likely to trip me up: Rosling says good news and gradual change are almost never reported, so my daily feed will always lean dark. Note: some critics say the book plays down problems that are getting worse, such as climate risk. Rosling himself calls it being a 'possibilist', not an optimist. (Source: Factfulness, Ch. 2.)
Noise and Signal (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): headlines are mostly noise. The Digital Declutter (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): cut the feed and see what you miss.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Negativity Instinct
Ch. 2, The Negativity Instinct. Page not verified (Flatiron Books, 2018).
Manage stress / anxiety; Cut phone / social-media use; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 06; 04
Plan: I will replace daily news scrolling with a weekly read, and for anything that alarms me I will check a long-run chart before I let it change how I feel.
negativity, news, doomscrolling, pessimism, headlines, media, bad news, anxiety, hopeless, world, progress, trends, data, gratitude, nostalgia, good old days, crisis, fear, perspective, mood
An hour of news leaves you sure the world is collapsing. You carry that weight all day and can do nothing with it.
For one topic that worries you, look up the long-term trend, not today's headline. Hold both: it may be bad, and it may be improving.
We notice the bad more than the good, and slow improvement is never news. Things can be bad and getting better at the same time.
Factfulness
Single Model
Hans Rosling with Ola Rosling and Anna Rosling Rönnlund
Not started
Spend my worry on the risks that are actually likely to hurt me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rosling says fear of violence, captivity and contamination is hard-wired, and that the media reach for exactly these to get our attention. He points out that the things which frighten us most, like plane crashes, account for a tiny share of deaths. His rule is that risk equals danger multiplied by exposure. Likely to trip me up: Rosling tells how, as a young doctor, fear once made him misread an emergency badly. He says the rule is to make as few decisions as possible while afraid, which is hard because fear demands action now. (Source: Factfulness, Ch. 4.)
Skewness (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): weigh the size and the odds together. Defusion (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): a frightening thought is still just a thought.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Fear Instinct
Ch. 4, The Fear Instinct. Page not verified (Flatiron Books, 2018).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Sleep better
12; 15; 05
Plan: When I notice fear steering a choice, I will look up the real rate and ask how exposed I am. I will put the freed effort into a boring risk, like sleep or driving habits.
fear, risk, danger, anxiety, phobia, flying, terrorism, crime, accidents, health scares, exposure, probability, media, panic, safety, worry, children, statistics, calm, perspective
You worry about plane crashes and strangers, and think nothing of driving tired, sitting all day or skipping sleep.
List your top three fears. Next to each, write how likely it really is for you. Then list three dull risks you ignore daily.
What frightens us and what harms us are different lists. Risk is how dangerous a thing is times how much you are exposed to it.
Thinking in Bets
Single Model
Annie Duke
Not started
Have two or three people who will tell me the truth about my decisions, and do the same for them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duke describes the group of poker players who made her better by refusing to listen to bad-luck stories and asking about her decisions instead. She says such a group needs an agreement: a focus on accuracy over confirmation, accountability, and openness to a range of ideas. Likely to trip me up: Duke says most social groups run on the opposite rule, comfort and agreement, and that not everyone wants this. She advises asking permission before offering this kind of truth, and not expecting it from everybody. (Source: Thinking in Bets, Ch. 4.)
Feedback (Ultralearning, Scott Young): seek the kind that tells you what to fix. Earn Your Opinion (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): go looking for the other side.
People & Communication
A Truthseeking Group
Ch. 4, The Buddy System. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2018).
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill; Spend time with family/friends
25; 17; 14
Plan: I will ask two people to form a small group with clear rules: we want accuracy, we take responsibility, and we welcome other views. We will review one decision each per month.
feedback, friends, mentor, mastermind, accountability, honesty, blind spots, echo chamber, group, support, venting, advice, criticism, truth, decisions, peers, trust, disagreement, learning, accuracy
You tell friends about a bad decision and they tell you it was not your fault. You feel better and learn nothing.
Ask one person you trust: 'I do not want comfort on this. Tell me what you think I got wrong.' Then only listen.
You cannot see your own blind spots. Find a few people who agree to tell each other the truth, and reward accuracy over comfort.
The Great Mental Models Vol. 1
Single Model
Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien
Not started
Remember that my summaries of books are maps too. I want to check each one against the book before I trust it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Parrish credits the phrase to the mathematician Alfred Korzybski. He says maps are reductions, which is what makes them useful, and gives three cautions: reality is the final judge, consider who drew the map, and remember that maps can shape the territory. Likely to trip me up: Parrish says we forget a map has limits once we are used to it, and keep using it after the ground has changed. Note: this book is an explainer of ideas from many fields by the founder of the Farnam Street site. It is a guide to the models, not their original source. (Source: The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, 'The Map Is Not the Territory'.)
What You See Is All There Is (WYSIATI) (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): the mind treats its small picture as the whole. Chauffeur Knowledge (The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli): the summary is not the understanding.
Thinking & Reasoning
The Map Is Not the Territory
Chapter 'The Map Is Not the Territory' (1st of 9 models). Page not verified (Latticework Publishing, 2019).
Read / learn more; Be more productive / organised; Improve relationships / communicate
09; 13; 25
Plan: For each model I write up, I will reread the original section after drafting and note what my version left out. I will update a row when I learn the map was wrong.
map, territory, model, plan, summary, reality, assumptions, data, dashboard, metrics, budget, theory, practice, outdated, abstraction, book summaries, labels, stereotypes, feedback, update
You follow the plan, the budget, the fitness app or the org chart, and ignore what is actually happening in front of you.
Pick one map you rely on: a plan, a dashboard, a rule of thumb. Ask who made it, when, and what it leaves out.
Every map, model, plan or summary leaves things out. It is useful, and it is not the real thing. Check it against the ground.
The Great Mental Models Vol. 1
Single Model
Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien
Not started
Question the 'rules' of how a book channel has to be made, and rebuild mine from what is actually true.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Parrish traces the idea to Aristotle and offers two tools: Socratic questioning, which tests where a belief comes from and what follows from it, and the Five Whys. He tells the story of the two researchers who showed that stomach ulcers are caused by bacteria, against the settled view that stress and acid were to blame. Likely to trip me up: Parrish says reasoning from first principles is slow and tiring, which is why most people reason by analogy and copy what exists. (Source: The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, 'First Principles Thinking'.)
Inversion (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): another way to get outside the usual path. The Einstellung Effect (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): the familiar approach blocks the better one.
Thinking & Reasoning
First Principles Thinking
Chapter 'First Principles Thinking' (3rd of 9 models). Page not verified (Latticework Publishing, 2019).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
17; 13
Plan: I will list the things I assume about my format, such as length, style and schedule, and mark each as a fact or a convention. I will test one convention a month.
first principles, assumptions, why, five whys, socratic, fundamentals, convention, tradition, innovation, problem solving, reasoning, basics, rethink, physics, engineering, beliefs, question, rebuild, creativity, analysis
You do things a certain way because that is how they are done. You have never asked which parts are truly fixed and which are only habit.
Take one thing you believe 'has to be done this way'. Ask 'why?' five times in a row, and write down where the answers stop being facts.
Break a problem down to the few things you know for certain, and build back up from there. Do not start from what everyone else does.
Factfulness
Single Model
Hans Rosling with Ola Rosling and Anna Rosling Rönnlund
Not started
Stop making big decisions under pressure I did not check.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rosling says the call to act now makes us stressed, blocks careful thought and pushes us to drastic moves. His advice: take a breath, insist on data that is relevant and accurate, be wary of predictions that show only the worst case, and prefer small steps whose results can be checked. Likely to trip me up: Rosling tells how, as a young district doctor facing an outbreak, he backed a hasty roadblock that led to deaths. He says urgency is one of the worst distorters, and that a sincere cause makes it harder to resist. (Source: Factfulness, Ch. 10.)
Scarcity (Influence, Robert Cialdini): the seller's version of the same pressure. Action Bias (The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli): acting fast is not the same as acting well.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Urgency Instinct
Ch. 10, The Urgency Instinct. Page not verified (Flatiron Books, 2018).
Manage stress / anxiety; Reduce debt / control spending; Stop overthinking / rumination
12; 22; 15
Plan: For any decision with a pushed deadline, I will ask what happens if I wait a day, and insist on the numbers before I agree. Where action is needed, I will take a small step first.
urgency, now or never, pressure, deadline, rush, panic, sales, scams, decisions, stress, crisis, act now, fear, impulse, time, data, small steps, overreaction, calm, breathe
'Decide today or lose it.' Your pulse goes up, you stop asking questions, and you sign.
The next time someone or something pushes you to decide at once, say 'I need a day', and see how often the deadline was real.
'Now or never' is almost never true. Urgency shuts down thinking. When you feel rushed, ask for more time and more information.
The Paradox of Choice
Single Model
Barry Schwartz
Not started
Become a satisficer for most of my decisions. Chasing the best option usually costs more than it gives back.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Schwartz and colleagues built a scale to measure maximizing, and found that people who scored high were less happy, less optimistic and more prone to regret and depression than satisficers. In one study of job seekers, maximizers got higher starting salaries and still felt worse about the result. He stresses that satisficers can have high standards. They just stop when the standards are met. Likely to trip me up: Schwartz says maximizers tend to believe that settling for good enough is lazy. It will feel like lowering myself. Note: these are correlations from questionnaires. They do not prove that maximizing causes unhappiness. (Source: The Paradox of Choice, Ch. 4.)
Dare to Be Average (Feeling Good, David Burns): lower the bar on purpose. Expectations and Reality (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): the gap is what hurts.
Mindset & Emotions
Maximizers and Satisficers
Ch. 4, When Only the Best Will Do. Starts on p. 77 (Ecco, first edition, 2004).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop comparing / social-media envy
27; 15; 04; 26
Plan: For each decision I will set my standards first, in writing. I will take the first option that meets them, and keep a note of how I feel a month later.
maximizer, satisficer, perfectionism, best, good enough, standards, comparison, regret, indecision, shopping, job search, dating, overthinking, reviews, second-guessing, happiness, anxiety, choices, settle, criteria
You cannot book a hotel, choose a phone or even order dinner without checking every alternative. You often get a better deal and feel worse.
Before your next decision, write down what 'good enough' means. Take the first option that clears it, and do not look at the rest.
Maximizers need the best and check every option. Satisficers pick the first thing that meets their standards. Satisficers end up happier.
The Great Mental Models Vol. 1
Single Model
Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien
Not started
Catch the quick fixes that make next week worse, with money, sleep and arguments.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Parrish says almost everyone can see the first effect of an action, and that the advantage goes to those who think further. He gives the example of feeding antibiotics to livestock to make them grow, which helped breed resistant bacteria. He suggests it is useful both for avoiding problems and for making a case to others. Likely to trip me up: Parrish warns against the other extreme. Following every possible chain of effects leads to paralysis, so the aim is to look at the most likely effects, not all of them. (Source: The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, 'Second-Order Thinking'.)
Hyperbolic Discounting (The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli): the near reward hides the later cost. The Domino Effect (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller): chains of consequences can work for you too.
Decision-Making & Risk
Second-Order Thinking
Chapter 'Second-Order Thinking' (5th of 9 models). Page not verified (Latticework Publishing, 2019).
Reduce debt / control spending; Sleep better; Improve relationships / communicate; Eat healthier
22; 05; 25; 02
Plan: Before any quick fix, I will write two lines: what happens next, and what happens after that. If line two is worse than the problem, I will look for another fix.
consequences, long term, short term, and then what, side effects, unintended, decisions, quick fix, debt, caffeine, arguments, policy, habits, future, ripple, trade-off, planning, foresight, impulse, regret
You fix today's problem with whatever works right now: the late-night coffee, the quick loan, the sharp reply. Tomorrow's problem is worse.
For one decision today, write the immediate effect, then ask 'and then what?' twice more and write those down too.
Do not stop at the first result of a choice. Ask 'and then what?' at least twice. The second and third effects are often the big ones.
Thinking in Bets
Single Model
Annie Duke
Not started
Learn from my results honestly. I want to find my share in the losses and the luck in the wins.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duke says every outcome has to be sorted into the skill bucket or the luck bucket, and that self-serving bias does the sorting for us: our wins go to skill and our losses to luck, while other people's wins go to luck and their losses to skill. She says the fix is to treat the sorting as a bet, which makes us ask how sure we really are. Likely to trip me up: Duke says this protects our self-image, which is why it is so sticky. Owning a mistake feels bad now, and the payoff from learning comes later. (Source: Thinking in Bets, Ch. 3.)
Perpetual Beta (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): review wins as hard as losses. You, Inc. (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): look at the work without defending the ego.
Biases & Blind Spots
Wins Are Skill, Losses Are Luck
Ch. 3, Bet to Learn: Fielding the Unfolding Future. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2018).
Learn a skill / upskill; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 26; 27
Plan: After each result that matters, I will write one line for what I controlled and one line for what I did not. I will do the same when I judge someone else's result.
self-serving bias, luck, skill, blame, excuses, credit, learning, feedback, ego, wins, losses, results, accountability, colleagues, envy, schadenfreude, improvement, honest, review, attribution
Your good month was your talent. Your bad month was the algorithm, the market, the boss. A year on, you have not improved.
Take one recent win and find the part that was luck. Take one recent loss and find the part that was you.
We credit our wins to skill and blame our losses on luck. For other people we do the reverse. Either way, we learn nothing.
Thinking in Bets
Single Model
Annie Duke
Not started
Put a pause between a strong feeling and what I do about it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duke borrows the tool from the writer Suzy Welch. She says that in the moment we zoom in on the present and lose all sense of scale, the way a tiny stock move looks huge on a ticker. Asking about the future, or how the past version of me would see this, pulls the longer view back in. Likely to trip me up: Duke calls the emotional state 'tilt', a poker word for when a bad beat wrecks your judgement. She says the first job is just to notice I am on tilt, and that is exactly when I am least likely to notice. (Source: Thinking in Bets, Ch. 6.)
The Planner and the Doer (Nudge, Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): give the Planner a voice in the moment. Second-Order Thinking (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): look past the first effect.
Decision-Making & Risk
10-10-10
Ch. 6, Adventures in Mental Time Travel. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2018).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety; Quit smoking / vaping
19; 25; 12; 10
Plan: I will use the three questions for cravings, angry replies and urges to skip a habit. I will note what I would have done without the pause.
impulse, emotion, heat of the moment, regret, anger, temptation, cravings, snacks, texting, quitting, perspective, future self, time travel, tilt, overreaction, decisions, pause, long term, self-control, calm
In the heat of the moment you send the message, eat the thing, quit the plan. An hour later you cannot believe you did.
The next time you feel a strong urge, stop and ask the three questions out loud before you do anything.
Before acting on a feeling, ask how you will see this in ten minutes, ten months and ten years. It brings your future self into the room.
Thinking in Bets
Single Model
Annie Duke
Not started
Find the likely reasons my habit plans fail before they do, and deal with the top one in advance.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duke describes backcasting, working backwards from an imagined success, and the premortem, a term from the psychologist Gary Klein, working backwards from an imagined failure. She cites research showing that imagining an outcome as already having happened helps people come up with more reasons for it, and work by Gabriele Oettingen showing that people who picture obstacles do better than those who only picture success. Likely to trip me up: Duke says positive visualisation feels good and negative feels disloyal, so teams and individuals skip the second half. (Source: Thinking in Bets, Ch. 6.)
Inversion (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): ask what would guarantee failure. Plan for the Hard Moment (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): decide in advance what you will do when it gets difficult.
Decision-Making & Risk
Backcasting and the Premortem
Ch. 6, Adventures in Mental Time Travel. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2018).
Exercise / move daily; Lose weight; Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus
01; 08; 13; 07
Plan: For each new habit or project, I will write the success story and the failure story. I will turn the top failure reason into an if-then plan.
premortem, backcasting, planning, goals, failure, obstacles, risks, scenario, new year, resolutions, project, launch, optimism, contingency, if then, preparation, imagine, future, worst case, strategy
You plan only for success. Every obstacle arrives as a surprise, though most were easy to see coming.
For one goal, write a short story dated a year from now: 'It failed because...'. List the top three reasons, and fix one today.
Picture the goal reached and ask how it happened. Then picture it failed and ask why. The second question finds what the first hides.
The Great Mental Models Vol. 1
Single Model
Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien
Not started
Stop assuming bad intent when a simpler reason fits. It ruins moods and working relationships.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Parrish says people make mistakes far more often than they plot, so assuming malice is usually wrong and it makes us the centre of everyone else's story. He links this to the way a vivid, detailed story feels more likely than a plain one, though it is less likely. He tells of the Soviet submarine officer Vasili Arkhipov, who in the Cuban missile crisis refused to assume an attack and blocked the launch of a nuclear torpedo. Likely to trip me up: Parrish notes that malice does exist, so this is a first guess, not a blindfold. The habit of taking offence is quick and feels justified. (Source: The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, 'Hanlon's Razor'.)
Expect Difficult People in the Morning (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): they act from ignorance, not evil. Observe Without Evaluating (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): separate what happened from the story about it.
People & Communication
Hanlon's Razor
Chapter 'Hanlon's Razor' (9th of 9 models). Page not verified (Latticework Publishing, 2019).
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination
25; 12; 15
Plan: When I feel slighted, I will write the least hostile explanation that fits the facts, and ask the person a plain question before I react.
malice, intent, assumptions, offended, grudges, rude, ignored, messages, colleagues, drivers, road rage, family, misunderstanding, paranoia, charity, benefit of the doubt, conflict, anger, resentment, relationships
Someone cuts you off, ignores your message or leaves you off an email. You decide they did it on purpose and carry it all day.
Think of one person who annoyed you this week. Write three explanations for what they did that have nothing to do with you.
Do not put down to malice what is more easily explained by carelessness, ignorance or a bad day. Most slights are not about you.
The Scout Mindset
Single Model
Julia Galef
Not started
Keep my views as things I hold, not things I am, so I can change them without a fight.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Galef lists signs that a belief has become an identity, such as feeling proud or attacked over it, using 'we', and enjoying it when the other side looks bad. She suggests holding identity lightly and offers the ideological Turing test: can you explain a view so that its holders think you are one of them? Likely to trip me up: Galef does not say to have no identity. She says identities are useful and give belonging, which is exactly why loosening the grip is uncomfortable. (Source: The Scout Mindset, Ch. 14.)
Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): identity is powerful, which is why it needs care. Earn Your Opinion (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): be able to state the other side fairly.
Mindset & Emotions
Hold Your Identity Lightly
Ch. 14, Hold Your Identity Lightly. Starts on p. 199 (Portfolio, 2021).
Improve relationships / communicate; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 26; 12
Plan: For topics where I feel heat, I will try to explain the other side so well that one of them would agree with my summary. If I cannot, I will read more before I argue.
identity, labels, tribe, politics, religion, diet, vegan, keto, brand, fanboy, defensive, offended, arguments, ideology, belonging, beliefs, ego, open mind, turing test, pride
A comment about your diet, your politics or your phone brand makes you angry in a second. You are defending yourself, not the idea.
Notice one topic where you get defensive fast. Try saying 'I currently think...' in place of 'I am a...' about it for a week.
When a belief becomes part of who you are, any challenge to it feels like an attack. Hold labels loosely so you stay able to think.
The Paradox of Choice
Single Model
Barry Schwartz
Not started
Make decisions without being ruled by how I might feel if they go wrong.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Schwartz separates regret after a decision from regret we anticipate before it. He reports research showing that we regret bad outcomes more when we feel responsible, when the result was a near miss, and when it is easy to imagine a better alternative. More options make all three worse. Likely to trip me up: Schwartz says that in the short run people regret actions more than failures to act, which pushes us towards doing nothing. Over the long run it reverses, and what people regret most is what they did not do. (Source: The Paradox of Choice, Ch. 7.)
Alternative Histories (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): a bad result does not mean a bad choice. Cosmic Insignificance Therapy (Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman): the stakes are usually smaller than they feel.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Pull of Regret
Ch. 7, 'If Only...': The Problem of Regret. Starts on p. 147 (Ecco, first edition, 2004).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus
15; 27; 07
Plan: When I notice regret-fear driving a delay, I will set a decision date, write my reasons down, and agree with myself in advance that a bad outcome will not mean it was a bad choice.
regret, fear, indecision, stalling, what if, if only, second-guessing, hindsight, blame, responsibility, mistakes, choices, career, relationships, purchases, returns, safe choice, omission, counterfactual, overthinking
You put off a decision for months, not because you lack information, but because you cannot bear the idea of choosing wrong.
For one decision you are stalling on, write down the regret you fear. Then write what you would tell a friend who felt that way.
Fear of future regret bends decisions before they are made. It pushes us to stall, to play safe, and to avoid being the one who chose.
Thinking in Bets
Single Model
Annie Duke
Not started
Judge my decisions by what I knew and how I reasoned, not by how they happened to turn out.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duke, a former professional poker player, opens with a Super Bowl coach who was called an idiot for a play that failed, though the numbers say it was a reasonable call. Poker players call this mistake resulting. She asks people for their best and worst decisions of the year, and they almost always name their best and worst outcomes. Likely to trip me up: Duke says life is like poker, not chess. Hidden information and luck sit between the decision and the result, and hindsight makes every result look inevitable. Note: Duke studied cognitive psychology, but the book rests on her experience and other people's research, not her own studies. (Source: Thinking in Bets, Ch. 1.)
Alternative Histories (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): the same point from a trader. Keep Score (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): write the reasoning down before the result arrives.
Biases & Blind Spots
Resulting
Ch. 1, Life Is Poker, Not Chess. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2018).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Stop overthinking / rumination; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 15; 17
Plan: For big decisions I will write what I knew, what I expected and why. Later I will grade the decision from that note, and grade the luck separately.
resulting, outcome bias, luck, skill, decisions, results, hindsight, poker, blame, credit, review, post-mortem, mistakes, success, failure, judgement, process, regret, learning, uncertainty
You drove home tired and nothing happened, so it was fine. You took a sensible job that then folded, so it was a mistake. Both verdicts are wrong.
Write down your best and worst decision of last year. Then check: are you describing decisions, or results?
Resulting is judging a decision by how it turned out. Good decisions sometimes lose and bad ones sometimes win. Review the decision itself.
The Great Mental Models Vol. 1
Single Model
Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien
Not started
Start with the simple explanation when something worries me, before I build a complicated one.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Parrish names it after the medieval thinker William of Ockham. He explains that an explanation with more moving parts has more ways to be wrong, and gives medical diagnosis as an example, where common conditions should be checked before rare ones. Likely to trip me up: Parrish is clear that the razor is a guide, not a law. Some things really are complicated, and the simple answer still has to fit all the facts. Used lazily, it becomes an excuse to stop looking. (Source: The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, 'Occam's Razor'.)
The Ten Cognitive Distortions (Feeling Good, David Burns): jumping to conclusions is one of them. Hanlon's Razor (same book): the simple explanation for other people's behaviour.
Thinking & Reasoning
Occam's Razor
Chapter 'Occam's Razor' (8th of 9 models). Page not verified (Latticework Publishing, 2019).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety
15; 12
Plan: When I catch myself spinning a theory, I will count how many separate things would all have to be true for it. Then I will write the explanation that needs the fewest.
simple, simplest, explanation, overthinking, conspiracy, catastrophising, catastrophizing, health anxiety, google symptoms, assumptions, diagnosis, debugging, troubleshooting, evidence, complexity, theories, worry, probability, reasoning, clarity
A headache becomes a brain tumour after ten minutes online. A friend's late reply becomes a plot. You reach for the dramatic story first.
Take one thing that is worrying you. Write the simplest explanation that fits what you actually know. Start there.
When two explanations fit the facts equally well, prefer the simpler one. It needs fewer things to be true, so it is more likely right.
Factfulness
Single Model
Hans Rosling with Ola Rosling and Anna Rosling Rönnlund
Not started
Stop being impressed or scared by single numbers, in the news and in my own analytics.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rosling gives two tools. Compare: a number on its own means nothing, so set it against another. Divide: turn totals into rates per person. He adds the 80/20 rule, saying that in any list a few items usually account for most of the total, so look at those first. He describes how, as a doctor in Mozambique, the children dying in front of him in hospital were a small fraction of those dying unseen in the district. Likely to trip me up: Rosling says the single vivid case in front of us feels far more important than the larger number we cannot see. (Source: Factfulness, Ch. 5.)
The 80/20 Rule (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): find the few items that make up most of the total. Anchoring (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): a lone number sticks whether it means anything or not.
Thinking & Reasoning
The Size Instinct
Ch. 5, The Size Instinct. Page not verified (Flatiron Books, 2018).
Save money / spend less; Lose weight; Be more productive / organised
03; 08; 13
Plan: For any number that matters to me, I will put it next to last period's number and turn it into a rate. In budgets I will look at the few largest lines first.
numbers, statistics, big numbers, proportion, compare, rate, per capita, percent, context, budget, calories, steps, views, followers, analytics, headlines, 80/20, misleading, scale, maths
'Four million views', 'five hundred calories', 'ten thousand steps'. The number impresses or scares you, and you have no idea if it is large.
Take one big number you saw today. Find one comparison for it and divide it by something sensible: per person, per day, per year.
A lone number always looks big. Never accept one without something to compare it to, and divide totals to get a rate.
The Paradox of Choice
Single Model
Barry Schwartz
Not started
Spend less of my life choosing between near-identical options. The time and the second-guessing cost more than the difference.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Schwartz argues that past a certain point, added options bring more effort, more mistakes and higher expectations, so people end up less satisfied even when they choose well. He describes a study in which shoppers shown 24 jams were far less likely to buy than those shown 6. Likely to trip me up: Schwartz says we are taught that more choice is always better, so cutting options feels like a loss of freedom. Note: later attempts to repeat the jam study had mixed results, and a large review found the average effect of choice overload close to zero. It seems to appear under some conditions, such as hard comparisons and unclear preferences, and not others. (Source: The Paradox of Choice, Prologue and Ch. 1.)
The 90 Percent Rule (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): set the criteria before you see the options. The 85 Percent Solution (I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ramit Sethi): good enough today beats perfect later.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Paradox of Choice
Prologue (starts on p. 1) and Ch. 1, Let's Go Shopping (starts on p. 9) (Ecco, first edition, 2004).
Reduce debt / control spending; Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety
22; 15; 12
Plan: For everyday purchases I will cap my options at three and my research time at twenty minutes. I will save careful comparison for the few decisions that matter.
choice, options, too many, overwhelmed, decision fatigue, shopping, comparison, reviews, paralysis, fomo, regret, netflix, menu, dating apps, careers, satisfaction, freedom, simplify, limits, decisions
You spend an hour comparing forty pairs of headphones, buy one, and spend the next week wondering if another was better.
For your next purchase, limit yourself to three options. Pick the first one that meets your needs and stop looking.
Some choice is good. Too many options make deciding harder, raise your expectations, and leave you less happy with what you picked.
The Paradox of Choice
Single Model
Barry Schwartz
Not started
Stop keeping one foot out of the door on decisions I have already made. I want to put my energy into making the choice work.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Schwartz cites research in which people allowed to swap their choice later were less satisfied with it than people whose choice was final. When a decision is final, the mind does the work of making peace with it. When it can be undone, that work never starts. Likely to trip me up: Schwartz says almost everyone prefers reversible decisions when asked, and does not realise that the option itself lowers their satisfaction. (Source: The Paradox of Choice, Ch. 7 and Ch. 11.)
Commitment and Consistency (Influence, Robert Cialdini): once committed, the mind gets to work backing the choice. Uncommit (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): the opposite tool, for choices that truly are not working.
Decision-Making & Risk
Make Your Decisions Nonreversible
Ch. 11, What to Do About Choice. Starts on p. 221 (Ecco, first edition, 2004).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve relationships / communicate; Reduce debt / control spending
15; 25; 22
Plan: For choices I have thought through, I will remove the way back on purpose and stop comparing. I will keep reversibility only where being wrong would be costly.
commitment, reversible, returns, refund, exit, keeping options open, fomo, settling, marriage, relationships, job, purchases, second-guessing, satisfaction, doubt, browsing, alternatives, loyalty, decide, final
You buy things because you can return them, and keep 'looking around' after you have committed. Nothing ever feels fully chosen.
For one decision you have already made, close the exit today: delete the alternatives, throw away the receipt, stop browsing.
Keeping the option to change your mind feels safe, and makes you less happy with what you chose. Closing the door lets you settle in.
The Paradox of Choice
Single Model
Barry Schwartz
Not started
Save my deciding for the few things that deserve it, and put everything else on rules.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Schwartz's first piece of advice is to choose when to choose. He describes second-order decisions: rules, presumptions, standards and routines that settle whole classes of choices in advance, such as always wearing a seat belt or only visiting two shops. He says constraints like these are freeing. Likely to trip me up: Schwartz says each decision looks worth a little care on its own. The cost only shows when I add them all up, so I have to review them as a set. (Source: The Paradox of Choice, Ch. 11.)
Choice Architecture (Nudge, Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): set your own defaults. Know When You Will Choose Badly (Nudge, Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): put your care where it counts.
Productivity & Focus
Choose When to Choose
Ch. 11, What to Do About Choice. Starts on p. 221 (Ecco, first edition, 2004).
Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety; Eat healthier
13; 12; 02
Plan: I will list the decisions I make every week and sort them into 'worth my thought' and 'not'. For each one in the second list, I will write a standing rule.
rules, routines, defaults, habits, decisions, energy, trivial, simplify, wardrobe, meals, automation, constraints, freedom, priorities, overwhelm, mental load, shopping, policy, limits, focus
You give the same careful thought to choosing toothpaste as to choosing a job. By evening you have nothing left for what matters.
Pick one small decision you make again and again. Set a rule for it today, like 'same breakfast on weekdays', and stop deciding.
Decide which decisions deserve your effort. For the rest, use rules, habits and defaults so you do not have to choose at all.
The Scout Mindset
Single Model
Julia Galef
Not started
Notice when I am defending a belief and when I am checking one.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Galef draws on research into motivated reasoning, including the psychologist Tom Gilovich's description of the two questions we ask depending on what we want to be true. She says scout mindset is the motivation to see things as they are, and that it is a set of habits, not a matter of intelligence. Likely to trip me up: Galef says soldier mindset does not feel like bias from the inside. It feels like being objective. She also explains what it protects: comfort, self-esteem, morale, image and belonging, so giving it up has real costs. (Source: The Scout Mindset, Ch. 1 and Ch. 2.)
Look for What Would Prove You Wrong (The Black Swan, Nassim Taleb): the scout's daily exercise. System 1 and System 2 (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): the soldier is the fast one.
Thinking & Reasoning
Soldier Mindset and Scout Mindset
Ch. 1, Two Types of Thinking. Starts on p. 3 (Portfolio, 2021).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
15; 25; 17
Plan: When I feel the urge to defend a view, I will ask what I would think if I wanted the opposite to be true, and look at the evidence again.
motivated reasoning, bias, beliefs, defensive, arguments, truth, accuracy, open mind, politics, self-deception, wishful thinking, rationalising, rationalizing, evidence, judgement, ego, curiosity, wrong, honesty, clarity
For claims you like, you ask 'can I believe this?' For claims you dislike, 'must I believe this?' You never notice the switch.
Take one thing you read today that you agreed with at once. Check it with the same effort you would give a claim you hated.
A soldier defends what he already believes. A scout wants an accurate map. The question shifts from 'can I believe this?' to 'is it true?'
Factfulness
Single Model
Hans Rosling with Ola Rosling and Anna Rosling Rönnlund
Not started
When something goes wrong at work or at home, fix the system before I look for someone to blame, including myself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rosling says the blame instinct makes us overrate the role of individuals, and that once we have a culprit we stop thinking. He applies it in reverse too: when things go well, we credit a hero and overlook institutions and technology. His advice is to look for causes, not villains, and for systems, not heroes. Likely to trip me up: Rosling says blaming feels good because it gives a simple story and someone to be angry at. It also fits whatever I already believed about that person or group. (Source: Factfulness, Ch. 9.)
Hanlon's Razor (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): most harm is not malice. Friction (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): behaviour follows the setup more than the person.
People & Communication
The Blame Instinct
Ch. 9, The Blame Instinct. Page not verified (Flatiron Books, 2018).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
25; 13; 27
Plan: After any failure I will write down the conditions that made it likely and change one of them. I will do the same when something goes well, and credit the system as well as the person.
blame, scapegoat, fault, villain, hero, system, causes, root cause, post-mortem, team, boss, politics, accountability, mistakes, anger, fairness, problem solving, process, credit, responsibility
The project failed, so you find who to blame, feel better, and change nothing. Next quarter the same failure happens with a new name on it.
Think of one thing that went wrong recently. Ask 'what system made this likely?' before you ask 'who did this?'
When something goes wrong we look for a guilty person. That stops the search too early. Look for causes and systems, not villains.
Poor Charlie's Almanack
Single Model
Charles T. Munger, edited by Peter D. Kaufman
Not started
Spot situations where several pressures are stacked against me, and leave before I decide anything.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Munger lists some twenty-five psychological tendencies and says the most important point is what happens when several act together in the same direction. He calls the result a lollapalooza effect, and uses it to explain things like open-outcry auctions and the success of certain sales systems. He says the same stacking can be used for good. Likely to trip me up: Munger says textbooks study one tendency at a time, so we are trained to look for a single cause. In the moment, each pull on its own feels small. Note: Munger is an investor summarising psychology he read. His list is a practitioner's checklist, not a tested theory. (Source: Poor Charlie's Almanack, Talk Eleven.)
The Hook Model (Hooked, Nir Eyal): products stack triggers, rewards and investment on purpose. Social Proof (Influence, Robert Cialdini): one of the pulls most often in the stack.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Lollapalooza Effect
Ch. 4, Talk Eleven, The Psychology of Human Misjudgment. Page not verified (Stripe Press edition, 2023).
Reduce debt / control spending; Cut phone / social-media use; Quit smoking / vaping
22; 06; 10
Plan: In any high-pressure setting, a sale, a pitch, an auction, I will count the pulls I can name: scarcity, social proof, authority, commitment. If I count three or more, I will decide at home the next day.
lollapalooza, combined, biases, pressure, sales, auction, cult, crowd, bubble, mania, scam, mlm, casino, multiple causes, extreme, persuasion, manipulation, overspending, psychology, tipping point
You look for the one reason you overspent at the sale, or stayed in a bad situation for years. There were five, all pushing together.
Think of one time you acted far out of character. List every pull that was acting on you at that moment, not just the main one.
When several psychological pulls point the same way at once, they do not add up. They multiply. Extreme outcomes rarely have one cause.
The Black Swan
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Stop planning as if the future is a straight line from the past. The big turns in a life are rarely on any plan.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb defines a Black Swan by three things: it lies outside normal expectations, it carries extreme impact, and people make up explanations afterwards that make it look predictable. He says a small number of such events explain most of history and most of a life, and that they can be good as well as bad. Likely to trip me up: Taleb says the after-the-fact explanation is the dangerous part, because it makes me believe I will see the next one coming. Note: Taleb is a former trader and essayist. The book is an argument, not a study, and statisticians have criticised parts of it as overstated. (Source: The Black Swan, Prologue.)
Risk Is What You Don't See (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): prepare, do not predict. Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): the buffer is for this.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Black Swan
Prologue. Starts on p. xvii (Random House, first edition, 2007).
Build emergency fund / invest; Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination
20; 12; 15
Plan: For my main plans I will ask two questions: what rare event would ruin this, and what rare event would make it take off? I will protect against the first and leave room for the second.
black swan, surprise, rare events, uncertainty, prediction, forecast, crisis, pandemic, crash, luck, impact, history, hindsight, planning, risk, shock, unknown, experts, future, opportunity
You plan as if tomorrow will look like the last ten years. The few events that really change your life were on nobody's forecast.
List the three events that most shaped your life so far. Ask how many of them you saw coming a year before.
A Black Swan is an event nobody expected, with huge impact, that everyone explains afterwards as if it had been obvious.
Poor Charlie's Almanack
Single Model
Charles T. Munger, edited by Peter D. Kaufman
Not started
Keep my big money and career decisions inside what I truly understand, and get help for the rest.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: The book describes how Munger and Warren Buffett stick to areas they understand, sorting ideas into 'in', 'out' and 'too tough', and how Munger says knowing what you do not know is more useful than being brilliant. Likely to trip me up: Munger warns that people constantly stray outside their circle without noticing, led by envy or excitement about what others are doing. The border is hard to see from the inside. Note: this is an investor's working rule, not a research finding. General education, not personal investment advice. (Source: Poor Charlie's Almanack, Ch. 3.)
Take Advice Only From Those Who Know (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): outside your circle, borrow someone else's. Chauffeur Knowledge (The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli): talking about it is not knowing it.
Decision-Making & Risk
Circle of Competence
Ch. 3, The Munger Approach to Life, Learning, and Decision-Making. Page not verified (Stripe Press edition, 2023). Chapter numbering differs in the earlier Donning editions.
Build emergency fund / invest; Learn a skill / upskill; Stop comparing / social-media envy
20; 17; 26
Plan: Before any big decision I will ask if it sits inside my circle. If not, I will either pass, keep the stake small, or find someone whose circle it is.
competence, expertise, limits, humility, investing, stocks, crypto, career, decisions, bets, overconfidence, knowledge, edge, advice, specialise, specialize, strengths, ignorance, risk, judgement
You have opinions and make bets on things you only know from headlines, because everyone around you seems to.
Draw a circle. Inside, write what you understand well enough to explain and predict. Put your last three big decisions in or out of it.
Know the edge of what you really understand and make your big bets inside it. The size of the circle matters less than knowing its edge.
The Art of Thinking Clearly
Single Model
Rolf Dobelli
Not started
Learn to sit still when nothing useful can be done. I want 'wait' to be a real option on my list.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dobelli cites a study of football penalty kicks. Goalkeepers dive left or right almost every time, though staying in the centre would stop about as many shots, because standing still and watching the ball go past looks worse. He applies the same point to investors, doctors and new managers. Likely to trip me up: Dobelli says society rewards visible action and rarely praises the person who waited. Waiting feels like neglect, even when it is the wiser course. (Source: The Art of Thinking Clearly, Ch. 43.)
Noise and Signal (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): most jolts deserve no response. The Struggle Switch (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): fighting a feeling often feeds it.
Biases & Blind Spots
Action Bias
Ch. 43, Why Watching and Waiting Is Torture: Action Bias. Page not verified (Harper, 2013).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Build emergency fund / invest
12; 15; 20
Plan: For non-urgent worries I will add 'do nothing for now' to the list of options and give it a fair hearing, with a date to look again.
action, overreact, waiting, patience, panic, control, investing, selling, trading, doctors, managers, meetings, goalkeeper, penalty, impulse, restless, anxiety, tinkering, do nothing, decisions
The market drops and you sell. A plan wobbles and you tear it up. A week later you see that doing nothing would have been better.
The next time you feel an urge to 'do something' about a worry, wait 24 hours and write down what happens if you leave it alone.
When things are unclear, we act just to feel in control, even when waiting would do better. Doing something is not the same as helping.
Nudge
Single Model
Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein
Not started
Use mental jars where they help me save, and catch them where they cost me money.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thaler and Sunstein explain that money is fungible, but people do not treat it that way. They note this can help: labelled jars and budgets are a self-control tool. They also describe gamblers who treat winnings as 'house money' and take risks with it that they would never take with their wages. Likely to trip me up: They say the labels feel real, so breaking a savings jar to clear an expensive debt feels like a loss even when the sums say it is a gain. Note: this is general education from the book, not personal financial advice. (Source: Nudge, Ch. 2.)
The Conscious Spending Plan (I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ramit Sethi): mental jars used on purpose. Loss Aversion (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): why breaking a jar hurts.
Biases & Blind Spots
Mental Accounting
Ch. 2, Resisting Temptation. Starts on p. 40 (Penguin revised and expanded edition, 2009).
Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less; Build emergency fund / invest
22; 03; 20
Plan: I will keep labelled accounts for goals, because the labels protect the money. Once a year I will check the whole picture for jars that fight each other, like savings sitting next to high-interest debt.
mental accounting, budget, jars, envelopes, bonus, windfall, tax refund, savings, debt, credit card, interest, gambling, house money, spending, fungible, money, labels, accounts, salary, treat
You keep savings in a low-interest account while carrying expensive card debt. Or you blow a bonus you would never have spent from salary.
Look at your money as one pool for a moment. Is any 'jar' earning less than another jar is costing you?
We put money into mental jars: rent, fun, savings, bonus. Money in one jar does not feel like the same money in another.
The Black Swan
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Understand which of my projects live in Extremistan, so I set my expectations and my safety net to match.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb says in Mediocristan, things like height, weight or a dentist's income, no single observation changes the total much. In Extremistan, things like wealth, book sales or fame, one observation can dwarf all the rest. He separates scalable work, where income is not tied to hours, from non-scalable work. Likely to trip me up: Taleb warns that scalable careers produce a few giants and many who earn almost nothing, and that the winners are more visible than the odds. He says he would advise a non-scalable profession to most people. (Source: The Black Swan, Ch. 3.)
Kind and Wicked Learning Environments (Range, David Epstein): another way to ask what kind of world you are in. Skewness (Fooled by Randomness, same author): the size of the rare outcome matters most.
Thinking & Reasoning
Mediocristan and Extremistan
Ch. 3, The Speculator and the Prostitute. Starts on p. 26 (Random House, first edition, 2007).
Learn a skill / upskill; Build emergency fund / invest; Stop comparing / social-media envy
17; 20; 26
Plan: I will sort my income sources into scalable and non-scalable. I will keep a steady non-scalable base, and treat the scalable ones as many small bets where most will do little.
scalable, career, income, winner takes all, average, bell curve, power law, creators, youtube, writing, music, startups, salary, hourly, luck, inequality, outliers, risk, jobs, extremes
You use averages to plan a career in writing, music, startups or YouTube. In those fields the average tells you almost nothing.
For your main income or project, ask: if I work twice as long, do I earn about twice as much, or could one hit change everything?
In some fields no single case moves the total, like height. In others one case can be the total, like book sales. Know where you are.
The Black Swan
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Stop treating a long calm stretch as proof of safety. I want to check what my comfort depends on.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb adapts a story from the philosopher Bertrand Russell. A turkey is fed every day, and each feeding strengthens its belief that the farmer cares for it. Its confidence is highest on the day before it is killed. Taleb says the same data that looks like safety can come from a process that ends in disaster. Likely to trip me up: Taleb says no amount of confirming evidence can prove a rule, while one event can break it, and that calm periods make us feel most secure right when we should be careful. (Source: The Black Swan, Ch. 4.)
Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): plan for the day the pattern ends. Alternative Histories (Fooled by Randomness, same author): a good record can hide a bad bet.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Turkey Problem
Ch. 4, One Thousand and One Days, or How Not to Be a Sucker. Starts on p. 38 (Random House, first edition, 2007).
Build emergency fund / invest; Manage stress / anxiety; Learn a skill / upskill
20; 12; 17
Plan: Once a year I will list the things I depend on that have 'always worked', such as one employer or one income source, and build a fallback for the most important one.
induction, track record, safety, stable job, never failed, overconfidence, past performance, trust, risk, surprise, complacency, investing, health, employer, evidence, pattern, assumption, collapse, security, blind spot
'It has always been fine' is your reason for thinking it always will be: the job, the health, the investment that has never fallen.
Name one thing you rely on because it has never failed. Ask what would have to be true for it to fail, and if you would see it coming.
A thousand days of being fed tells the turkey nothing about day 1,001. A long run of good evidence is weakest just before it breaks.
Nudge
Single Model
Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein
Not started
Stop trusting my evening self to keep my morning promises. I want the decision made before the moment comes.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thaler and Sunstein describe self-control as a contest between a Planner and a Doer, and draw on research showing that people in a calm state badly underestimate how they will act when aroused, hungry or tempted. Their examples of Planner strategies include an alarm clock that runs away and savings accounts that lock your money. Likely to trip me up: They say the calm self does not believe how strong the urge will be, so it skips the precaution. I will feel I do not need the rule, right up to the moment I do. (Source: Nudge, Ch. 2.)
Precommitment Pacts (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): bind yourself before the moment. Self-Control Is a Setup, Not a Struggle (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): arrange things so the fight never starts.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Planner and the Doer
Ch. 2, Resisting Temptation. Starts on p. 40 (Penguin revised and expanded edition, 2009).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Eat healthier; Drink less alcohol; Reduce debt / control spending
19; 02; 11; 22
Plan: For my two worst temptations I will let my calm self decide in advance: nothing tempting in the house, and a spending limit set on the card, not in my head.
temptation, self-control, willpower, impulse, hot state, cold state, arousal, hunger, snacks, dessert, alcohol, shopping, snooze, alarm, commitment, rules, future self, planning, regret, precommitment
At 9 am you swear off dessert. At 9 pm you eat it. The person who made the promise is not the person who has to keep it.
Pick one temptation you lose to when tired or hungry. While calm, remove it, lock it, or make a rule someone else can hold you to.
You are two people: a far-sighted Planner and a Doer who lives in the moment. The Planner must set things up before the Doer arrives.
Nudge
Single Model
Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein
Not started
Know which of my decisions deserve extra care, so I stop treating a loan like a lunch order.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thaler and Sunstein list the conditions where people most need help: benefits now and costs later, or the reverse; decisions that are difficult; decisions made rarely, like choosing a home or a pension; poor feedback; and cases where you cannot picture what you will like. Likely to trip me up: They point out that the big choices of life are exactly the ones we make too rarely to get good at, and we bring to them the confidence we earned on small daily ones. (Source: Nudge, Ch. 4.)
Kind and Wicked Learning Environments (Range, David Epstein): practice only helps where feedback is clear. Take Advice Only From Those Who Know (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): rare choices are where advice matters.
Decision-Making & Risk
Know When You Will Choose Badly
Ch. 4, When Do We Need a Nudge? Starts on p. 74 (Penguin revised and expanded edition, 2009).
Build emergency fund / invest; Reduce debt / control spending; Quit smoking / vaping; Eat healthier
20; 22; 10; 02
Plan: For any choice that ticks two or more boxes on the list, I will use a rule: sleep on it, write it down, and talk to someone who has made that choice before.
decisions, big decisions, mortgage, loan, insurance, pension, career, marriage, diet, smoking, feedback, practice, rare, complex, delayed costs, temptation, mistakes, help, advice, judgement
You trust your own judgement equally for choosing lunch and choosing a loan. You get daily practice at one and almost none at the other.
Take a decision you are facing. Check it against the list: cost later, rare, hard, slow feedback. For every tick, slow down and get help.
People choose worst when the benefit comes now and the cost later, when the choice is rare or hard, and when feedback is slow or missing.
The Black Swan
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Test my beliefs by looking for what would break them, not what supports them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb calls this negative empiricism. Seeing a thousand white swans does not prove that all swans are white, but one black swan disproves it. He describes experiments in which people tested a rule only with examples that fitted their guess, and so never found out they were wrong. Likely to trip me up: Taleb says the habit of confirming is built in, and that even people who know about it keep doing it. Searching against myself feels like sabotage. (Source: The Black Swan, Ch. 5.)
Earn Your Opinion (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): argue the other side first. Update in Small Steps (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): let the counter-evidence move you.
Biases & Blind Spots
Look for What Would Prove You Wrong
Ch. 5, Confirmation Shmonfirmation! Starts on p. 51 (Random House, first edition, 2007).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve relationships / communicate; Build emergency fund / invest
15; 25; 20
Plan: Before any big decision I will write down what evidence would change my mind, then go and look for exactly that.
confirmation bias, beliefs, evidence, proof, wrong, opinions, echo chamber, research, google, diet, investing, politics, arguments, open mind, testing, falsify, doubt, assumptions, certainty, blind spot
You have a theory about a person, a diet or an investment. Everything you notice seems to confirm it, because that is all you look for.
Take one belief you are confident about. Spend ten minutes searching only for evidence against it.
We hunt for evidence that agrees with us. One solid case against a belief tells you more than a hundred cases for it.
Poor Charlie's Almanack
Single Model
Charles T. Munger, edited by Peter D. Kaufman
Not started
Build my own set of big ideas from many fields, and practise using several at once. This is what my whole project is for.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Munger told business students that you cannot know anything by remembering isolated facts. You need models from all the big disciplines, arranged on a latticework in your head, and you need to use them routinely. He guesses that eighty or ninety important models carry most of the load. Likely to trip me up: Munger warns that a person with only a few models will bend reality to fit them. He also says the models have to be used constantly, or they fade. Collecting is not the same as using. Note: these are talks by an investor, based on his experience and reading, not research findings. (Source: Poor Charlie's Almanack, Talk Two.)
New combinations (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): ideas come from linking fields. The Sampling Period (Range, David Epstein): breadth pays off later.
Thinking & Reasoning
The Latticework of Mental Models
Ch. 4, Talk Two, A Lesson on Elementary, Worldly Wisdom (1994). Page not verified (Stripe Press edition, 2023). Talk numbers are the same in the earlier Donning editions.
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: For each model I add to this database, I will note which field it comes from, and once a week I will run one real problem through three models from three different fields.
mental models, latticework, multidisciplinary, thinking, wisdom, frameworks, hammer, nail, specialist, generalist, learning, big ideas, disciplines, psychology, economics, physics, decisions, judgement, reading, worldly wisdom
You know one field well and see every problem through it. To a man with only a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.
Take one problem you are facing. Look at it through three different lenses: what would an economist, a psychologist and an engineer each say?
Isolated facts are useless. Hang what you learn on a framework of big ideas from many fields, and use them together.
Influence
Single Model
Robert B. Cialdini
Not started
Follow real expertise and stop being moved by its costumes.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cialdini starts with Stanley Milgram's experiments, in which ordinary people gave what they believed were painful shocks because a researcher in a lab coat told them to. He shows that titles, clothes and trappings alone can trigger the response. His defence is two questions: is this authority truly an expert, and how truthful can I expect them to be here? Likely to trip me up: Cialdini says deferring to authority usually serves us well, which is why we do it without thinking. The symbols are easy to fake. Note: Milgram's studies are real and have been partly repeated, but historians dispute some of his methods and how the results were reported. (Source: Influence, Ch. 6.)
Incentives (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): ask what the adviser stands to gain. Chauffeur Knowledge (The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli): confidence is not competence.
Biases & Blind Spots
Authority
Ch. 6, Authority: Directed Deference. Page not verified (Collins Business revised edition, 2007). This is Ch. 5 in the 2021 New and Expanded edition.
Build emergency fund / invest; Eat healthier; Reduce debt / control spending
20; 02; 22
Plan: Before I act on expert advice about money or health, I will check the person's actual field and whether they profit from my decision.
authority, experts, doctors, titles, uniform, suit, credentials, influencers, gurus, obedience, boss, advice, adverts, celebrity, trust, scam, fraud, finance, health claims, compliance
A doctor in an advert, a 'finance expert' online, a man in a good suit. You follow the symbol and never check the substance.
For one expert you rely on, ask two questions: is this person really an expert in this exact area, and what do they gain if I agree?
We obey signs of authority, a title, a uniform, a confident voice, often without checking that the person is an expert in this matter.
Nudge
Single Model
Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein
Not started
Become the architect of my own choices at home, so the good option is the easy one.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thaler and Sunstein open with a school canteen where simply changing the order of the food changes what children eat. They say anyone who arranges options is a choice architect, and that defaults are the strongest tool because most people stay with what is pre-selected. Likely to trip me up: They say people assume their choices are their own and underestimate how much the setup steers them. Note: later reviews suggest that average nudge effects are smaller than first reported once unpublished studies are counted. Defaults remain the best supported. (Source: Nudge, Introduction and Ch. 5.)
Friction (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): the same lever, from habit science. Change Your Defaults (Make Time, Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky): defaults applied to your time.
Habits & Behavior Change
Choice Architecture
Introduction (starts on p. 1) and Ch. 5, Choice Architecture (starts on p. 83) (Penguin revised and expanded edition, 2009). Ch. 5 keeps its number in the 2021 Final Edition.
Eat healthier; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Save money / spend less; Cut phone / social-media use
02; 19; 03; 06
Plan: I will pick three daily choices, food, phone and money, and redesign each one so the option I want is the default and the one I do not want takes extra steps.
choice architecture, nudge, defaults, design, environment, options, layout, canteen, kitchen, apps, forms, opt out, easy, decisions, behaviour, behavior, habits, health, saving, policy
You blame yourself for bad choices at the canteen, in the app, at the shop. You never notice that someone arranged those choices for you.
Rearrange one choice you make every day so the option you want is the easiest: fruit at eye level, the gym bag by the door.
There is no neutral way to lay out a choice. Whatever is first, easiest or pre-selected wins more often. So design the layout on purpose.
The Art of Thinking Clearly
Single Model
Rolf Dobelli
Not started
Make sure I understand the models I present, and not just perform them. A book channel is an easy place to become a chauffeur.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dobelli retells a story he takes from Charlie Munger. The physicist Max Planck gave the same lecture so often that his chauffeur learned it by heart and delivered it one evening. When a hard question came, the chauffeur said it was so simple he would let his driver answer. Dobelli says real experts know the limits of what they know and say 'I do not know' easily. Likely to trip me up: Dobelli says chauffeurs are often better presenters than the real experts, which is why they are hard to spot, including in the mirror. Note: the Planck story is a parable, not a documented event. (Source: The Art of Thinking Clearly, Ch. 16.)
The Feynman Technique (Ultralearning, Scott Young): explaining from scratch shows which kind you have. Circle of Competence (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): real knowledge knows its own edge.
Learning & Knowledge
Chauffeur Knowledge
Ch. 16, Don't Take News Anchors Seriously: Chauffeur Knowledge. Page not verified (Harper, 2013).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
09; 17; 25
Plan: Before I publish anything on a model, I will answer three follow-up questions about it without notes. If I cannot, I will say so on screen or go back to the book.
knowledge, understanding, experts, pundits, news anchors, influencers, confidence, eloquence, fake, surface, depth, parroting, summaries, books, jargon, interview, teaching, humility, competence, credibility
You take advice from confident, polished speakers. You also repeat ideas from books you read once, as if you understood them.
Pick one topic you talk about confidently. Ask yourself three 'why' questions in a row about it. See where you run out.
Some people know a subject. Others have only learned to talk about it. Learn to tell them apart, in others and in yourself.
The Black Swan
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Treat my unread books as a map of what I do not know, not as a backlog to feel bad about.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb describes the writer Umberto Eco's personal library of some thirty thousand books. Visitors ask how many he has read. Taleb says the point of such a library is research, not display: read books are far less valuable than unread ones, and the unread shelf should grow as you learn more. He calls it an antilibrary. Likely to trip me up: Taleb says we treat knowledge as a possession to show off and protect, so we count what we know and ignore what we do not. (Source: The Black Swan, opening of Part One.)
Illusions of Knowing (Make It Stick, Peter Brown and others): feeling that you know is not knowing. Circle of Competence (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): know where your knowledge stops.
Learning & Knowledge
The Antilibrary
Opening of Part One, Umberto Eco's Antilibrary, or How We Seek Validation. Starts on p. 1 (Random House, first edition, 2007).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: I will keep a visible list of subjects I know nothing about next to my reading log, and pick one book a quarter from that list.
books, reading, library, unread, tsundoku, knowledge, ignorance, humility, curiosity, learning, know-it-all, expert, overconfidence, guilt, bookshelf, research, questions, unknown, study, wisdom
You feel guilty about your pile of unread books, or proud of the ones you have finished. Both miss the point.
Look at your unread books or saved articles. Pick the one on the subject you know least about, and read the first chapter.
The books you have not read matter more than the ones you have. A shelf of unread books keeps you honest about how little you know.
Influence
Single Model
Robert B. Cialdini
Not started
Use written, public commitments to hold my habits in place, and watch for others using the same pull on me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cialdini reports that commitments bind most when they are active, public, effortful and freely chosen. He describes homeowners who agreed to a tiny sign in a window, and two weeks later were far more willing to put a huge billboard on their lawn. A small first step had changed how they saw themselves. Likely to trip me up: Cialdini warns that the same drive keeps people defending a bad decision, and that salespeople use a small yes to get a big one. He says to notice the feeling in the stomach when I am being pushed to stay consistent with something I no longer want. (Source: Influence, Ch. 3.)
Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): each action is a vote you want to stay consistent with. Precommitment Pacts (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): bind yourself in advance, on purpose.
Habits & Behavior Change
Commitment and Consistency
Ch. 3, Commitment and Consistency: Hobgoblins of the Mind. Page not verified (Collins Business revised edition, 2007). This is Ch. 7 in the 2021 New and Expanded edition.
Exercise / move daily; Quit smoking / vaping; Lose weight; Beat procrastination / focus
01; 10; 08; 07
Plan: For one habit I will write a specific pledge, sign it, and share it with a friend who will ask me about it weekly.
commitment, consistency, promise, public, written, goals, accountability, resolution, pledge, identity, foot in the door, small steps, signing, contracts, sales, manipulation, habits, quit smoking, diet, follow through
Your private resolutions vanish by February. Nobody knows about them, so nothing holds you to them.
Write down one goal and tell one person about it today. Better still, write it where you and they will see it.
Once we take a stand, especially in writing or in public, we feel pressure to act in line with it. Small commitments grow into large ones.
Influence
Single Model
Robert B. Cialdini
Not started
Put myself among people for whom my target habit is normal, and notice when a crowd is doing my thinking for me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cialdini says we view a behaviour as correct to the degree we see others doing it, especially under uncertainty and especially when the others are similar to us. He describes canned laughter, tip jars seeded with notes, and bystanders who fail to help because nobody else is moving. Likely to trip me up: Cialdini says the evidence can be faked, as with staged queues and planted reviews, and that a whole crowd can be wrong when everyone is looking at everyone else. (Source: Influence, Ch. 4.)
Friction (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): the people around you are part of your context. The Lollapalooza Effect (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles Munger): social proof is often one of several pulls at once.
Biases & Blind Spots
Social Proof
Ch. 4, Social Proof: Truths Are Us. Page not verified (Collins Business revised edition, 2007). Also Ch. 4 in the 2021 New and Expanded edition.
Exercise / move daily; Drink less alcohol; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Reduce debt / control spending
01; 11; 26; 22
Plan: I will join one group built around a habit I want. For purchases, I will be wary of 'most popular' labels and look for evidence that is not just other people's choices.
social proof, peer pressure, crowd, herd, friends, group, norms, reviews, ratings, bestseller, trending, likes, followers, conformity, drinking, spending, fitness, community, belonging, bystander
You drink, spend and scroll the way your group does, and call it your own choice.
For one habit you want, find a group where that behaviour is normal, a running club, a reading group, and spend time there this week.
When unsure, we do what people like us are doing. The pull is strongest in unfamiliar situations and when the others seem similar to us.
Influence
Single Model
Robert B. Cialdini
Not started
Accept kindness freely, and stop letting free gifts from sellers decide what I buy.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cialdini describes an experiment where a stranger bought subjects a soft drink unasked, and they later bought about twice as many raffle tickets from him. He also describes the rejection-then-retreat move: ask for something big, get refused, then ask for what you really wanted. The second request feels like a concession, so people give one back. Likely to trip me up: Cialdini says the rule is powerful because it is a good one. Refusing all gifts would make me a worse person. His defence is to redefine the gift as a tactic once I see it is one. (Source: Influence, Ch. 2.)
The Emotional Bank Account (The 7 Habits, Stephen Covey): the honest use of the same rule. The Manipulation Matrix (Hooked, Nir Eyal): the ethics test for using it on others.
People & Communication
Reciprocation
Ch. 2, Reciprocation: The Old Give and Take, and Take. Page not verified (Collins Business revised edition, 2007). Also Ch. 2 in the 2021 New and Expanded edition.
Reduce debt / control spending; Improve relationships / communicate
22; 25
Plan: When I notice a feeling of owing someone after a small gift, I will ask if it was a real favour or a tactic. For real favours I will give back gladly. For tactics I will take the gift and decide on the merits.
reciprocity, favours, favors, gifts, free sample, free trial, obligation, guilt, sales, marketing, charity, negotiation, concession, debt, pressure, say no, persuasion, generosity, networking, manipulation
You accept the free sample, the free trial, the small favour, and find yourself buying or agreeing to something you never wanted.
The next time you get something 'free' from someone selling, name it to yourself as a sales technique, not a gift. Then decide as if you had received nothing.
When someone gives us something, we feel we must give back, often far more than we received. The rule works even for gifts we did not want.
Influence
Single Model
Robert B. Cialdini
Not started
Stop letting countdown timers and 'only 2 left' labels make my buying decisions.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cialdini describes a study in which people rated biscuits from a nearly empty jar as more desirable than the same biscuits from a full one, and most of all when the supply had just dropped because others wanted them. He says limited numbers, deadlines, and competition for the same item are the standard tactics. Likely to trip me up: Cialdini says scarcity hits the emotions and makes thinking hard, so knowing about it is not enough. He notes that the scarce biscuits were wanted more but did not taste any better. (Source: Influence, Ch. 7.)
Loss Aversion (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): the fear of losing outweighs the wish to gain. The 90 Percent Rule (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): judge it on your own criteria, not the seller's clock.
Biases & Blind Spots
Scarcity
Ch. 7, Scarcity: The Rule of the Few. Page not verified (Collins Business revised edition, 2007). This is Ch. 6 in the 2021 New and Expanded edition.
Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less; Cut phone / social-media use
22; 03; 06
Plan: When I feel the scarcity rush, I will treat the arousal itself as the warning sign, step away, and decide later by asking what I want the thing for.
scarcity, limited, last chance, deadline, countdown, sale, flash sale, fomo, exclusive, sold out, only left, auction, impulse, shopping, urgency, offers, booking, competition, rare, pressure
You did not want it until you saw the countdown timer. Now you cannot think about anything else.
When you feel the rush of 'last chance', stop and ask: do I want to own and use this, or do I only want not to miss it?
Things seem more valuable when they are rare or about to vanish. 'Only two left' and 'ends tonight' hit the fear of losing, not the need.
The Art of Thinking Clearly
Single Model
Rolf Dobelli
Not started
Judge what works for me over a longer run, not by what I tried on my worst day.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dobelli explains that performance always varies around an average, so an extreme result is usually followed by one closer to normal. His examples include back pain that eases after a visit to the doctor, a golfer's handicap, and the belief that scolding works better than praise, because scolding tends to follow unusually bad results. Likely to trip me up: Dobelli says the mind demands a cause, so whatever I did just before the improvement gets the credit. Note: the idea goes back to Francis Galton and is standard statistics. Dobelli is reporting it, not discovering it. (Source: The Art of Thinking Clearly, Ch. 19.)
Alternative Histories (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): separate the result from the cause. Keep Score (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): track over time, not at one extreme.
Thinking & Reasoning
Regression to the Mean
Ch. 19, The Dubious Efficacy of Doctors, Consultants, and Psychotherapists: Regression to Mean. Page not verified (Harper, 2013).
Lose weight; Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety; Exercise / move daily
08; 04; 12; 01
Plan: When I test a new habit or remedy, I will start it on an ordinary day, keep it for a set period, and compare with a normal stretch, not with my lowest point.
average, extreme, streak, slump, recovery, remedy, supplements, doctor, therapy, coaching, punishment, praise, performance, sports, stocks, luck, cause, fluke, weight, mood
You try a new remedy at your lowest point and feel better. You credit the remedy. You would probably have improved without it.
Think of one thing you believe 'worked' for you. Ask: did I start it when things were at their worst?
Extreme results tend to be followed by more ordinary ones, with no cause needed. Your worst week would have improved anyway.
Poor Charlie's Almanack
Single Model
Charles T. Munger, edited by Peter D. Kaufman
Not started
Hold fewer, better opinions. I want to be able to argue the other side of anything I feel sure about.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: In his 2007 law school commencement address, Munger said he never allows himself an opinion unless he knows the other side's argument better than they do. He describes the habit of destroying his own best-loved ideas, and warns that heavy ideology ruins the mind. Likely to trip me up: Munger says that once we state a view, especially in public, we pound it in and defend it. The views I care about most are the ones I am least willing to test. (Source: Poor Charlie's Almanack, Talk Ten.)
Look for What Would Prove You Wrong (The Black Swan, Nassim Taleb): hunt for the case against. You Can't Win an Argument (How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie): arguing harder never changes a mind.
Thinking & Reasoning
Earn Your Opinion
Ch. 4, Talk Ten, USC Gould School of Law Commencement Address (2007). Page not verified (Stripe Press edition, 2023).
Improve relationships / communicate; Stop overthinking / rumination; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 15; 17
Plan: For any view I am about to share publicly, I will first write the strongest opposing case in a few lines. Once a year I will pick one cherished belief and try to take it apart.
opinions, arguments, debate, beliefs, ideology, politics, open mind, steelman, other side, stubborn, humility, certainty, criticism, disagreement, conflict, listening, reasoning, changing mind, ego, bias
You hold strong views on things you have only heard one side of. Challenged, you get louder, not clearer.
Pick one opinion you hold firmly. Write the best case against it, as its smartest supporter would. If you cannot, hold it more loosely.
You have not earned an opinion until you can state the other side's case better than they can. Go after your own favourite ideas first.
The Art of Thinking Clearly
Single Model
Rolf Dobelli
Not started
Catch the moment when 'now' starts to distort my choices, with food, money and time.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dobelli explains that our 'interest rate' for waiting is not constant. It shoots up as the reward gets near, so we flip from patient to impulsive. He says it is why credit card debt and instant offers work so well on us. Likely to trip me up: Dobelli says the pull is strongest exactly when the reward is in front of me, so the only safe time to decide is before. Note: Dobelli leans on the famous marshmallow study here. A larger 2018 replication found its link to later success was much weaker than first claimed. The bias itself is well established in economics. (Source: The Art of Thinking Clearly, Ch. 51.)
The Planner and the Doer (Nudge, Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): the two selves behind the flip. Save More Tomorrow (Nudge, Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): a plan that uses this bias in your favour.
Biases & Blind Spots
Hyperbolic Discounting
Ch. 51, Live Each Day as If It Were Your Last, but Only on Sundays: Hyperbolic Discounting. Page not verified (Harper, 2013).
Save money / spend less; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Beat procrastination / focus; Reduce debt / control spending
03; 19; 07; 22
Plan: For purchases and treats, I will move the decision away from the moment: a 48-hour wait on anything over a set price, and no food decisions while hungry.
instant gratification, impulse, temptation, delay, reward, patience, now, later, saving, credit card, buy now pay later, snacks, dessert, procrastination, present bias, future self, discount, willpower, interest, waiting
You would happily wait an extra month for more money a year from now. Offered the smaller sum today, you grab it.
For one temptation today, ask: if this same choice were a year away, which would I pick? Choose that one.
The closer a reward is, the more we overvalue it. A small treat today beats a big gain next year, even when we know better.
Poor Charlie's Almanack
Single Model
Charles T. Munger, edited by Peter D. Kaufman
Not started
For my main goals, know what would guarantee failure, and stop doing those things first.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: In a 1986 school commencement speech, Munger gave prescriptions for a life of misery, including being unreliable, refusing to learn from other people's mistakes, and giving up after the first setback. He credits the method to the mathematician Carl Jacobi, whose advice was to invert, always invert. Likely to trip me up: Munger's point is that avoiding stupidity is unglamorous. The list of things to stop is less exciting than a new plan, so people skip it. Note: inversion comes from Jacobi. Munger made it popular. (Source: Poor Charlie's Almanack, Talk One.)
The Four Laws of Behavior Change (Atomic Habits, James Clear): he inverts each law to break a habit. Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): avoiding ruin comes first.
Thinking & Reasoning
Inversion
Ch. 4, Talk One, Harvard School Commencement Speech (1986). Page not verified (Stripe Press edition, 2023).
Be more productive / organised; Exercise / move daily; Save money / spend less; Improve relationships / communicate
13; 01; 03; 25
Plan: For health, money and my channel, I will write a 'guaranteed failure' list each, and remove one item from each list per month.
inversion, invert, backwards, failure, avoid, mistakes, stupidity, goals, problem solving, misery, success, planning, risk, premortem, checklist, habits, health, money, relationships, thinking
You ask 'how do I get fit, rich, happy?' and drown in advice. You never ask the easier question: what reliably ruins each of these?
For one goal, write a list titled 'how to fail at this for sure'. Then check how many items you are already doing.
Turn the problem upside down. Ask what would guarantee failure, then avoid that. It is often easier than finding what brings success.
The Art of Thinking Clearly
Single Model
Rolf Dobelli
Not started
Set fitness and career goals by what is realistic for me, not by copying people who were selected for their results.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dobelli credits the idea to Nassim Taleb, who took up swimming hoping for a swimmer's body and then realised that professional swimmers are selected for their physique. Dobelli extends it to cosmetics adverts, elite universities and happy people writing self-help books. Likely to trip me up: Dobelli says advertising is built on this illusion, so I see it many times a day. Note: this book is a collection of other people's findings, and Taleb has publicly accused Dobelli of taking ideas from him without enough credit. Treat Dobelli as a guide to the sources, not as the source. (Source: The Art of Thinking Clearly, Ch. 2.)
Survivorship Bias (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): the other half of the same mistake. Expectations and Reality (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): unrealistic targets feed disappointment.
Biases & Blind Spots
Swimmer's Body Illusion
Ch. 2, Does Harvard Make You Smarter? Swimmer's Body Illusion. Page not verified (Harper, 2013).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Lose weight; Exercise / move daily; Learn a skill / upskill
26; 08; 01; 17
Plan: Before I take up a programme because of the people who did it, I will check who joins in the first place, and look for results from ordinary starters.
selection, cause, results, fitness, body, models, cosmetics, adverts, advertising, university, harvard, mba, courses, happiness, self-help, comparison, expectations, genetics, marketing, role models
You buy the product the model uses, or pick the course the successful people took, expecting it to turn you into them.
For one thing you are about to buy or sign up for, ask: did this make those people what they are, or were they chosen because they already were?
Top swimmers are not built that way by swimming. They reached the top because of their build. Do not mistake selection for results.
Nudge
Single Model
Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein
Not started
Raise my savings rate without ever feeling a pay cut.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thaler designed this programme with Shlomo Benartzi. People commit in advance to raise their saving rate with each future pay rise. It works with human biases: the commitment is about the future, take-home pay never falls, and once enrolled, inertia keeps people in. In the first company to use it, the savings rates of those who joined rose several times over within a few years. Likely to trip me up: They say the hard part is the first sign-up, since doing nothing is always easier. If I am paid irregularly or have no raise coming, the method needs adapting. (Source: Nudge, Ch. 6.)
Automate Your Money (I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ramit Sethi): the machinery that carries it out. Expenses Rise to Meet Income (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): catch the raise before your spending does.
Habits & Behavior Change
Save More Tomorrow
Ch. 6, Save More Tomorrow. Starts on p. 105 (Penguin revised and expanded edition, 2009). This is Ch. 9 in the 2021 Final Edition.
Save money / spend less; Build emergency fund / invest
03; 20
Plan: Each time my pay goes up, half the increase goes to savings automatically. I will set the instruction up in advance so it happens without a fresh decision.
saving, raise, salary, pension, retirement, future, commit, automatic, escalation, inertia, loss aversion, present bias, payday, increment, appraisal, budget, tomorrow, plan, money, default
You cannot face cutting your spending now, so you save nothing, year after year.
Decide today what share of your next raise will go straight to savings. If you can, set up the instruction now.
Commit today to save a share of your future raises. Your pay never goes down, so saving grows without it ever feeling like a loss.
The Millionaire Next Door
Single Model
Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko
Not started
Measure my money by what I keep, not by what I earn.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Stanley and Danko use this formula to sort people into prodigious accumulators of wealth, who have twice the expected figure or more, and under accumulators, who have half or less. Their surveys found many high earners in the second group. Likely to trip me up: The formula is crude. It is harsh on young people and those who started earning late, and it was built on 1990s American data. Note: Nassim Taleb criticises this book for survivorship bias, because it studied people who ended up rich and not the frugal people who did not. (Source: The Millionaire Next Door, Ch. 1.)
Wealth Is What You Don't See (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): income is not wealth. Keep Score (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): you cannot improve what you do not measure.
Decision-Making & Risk
Expected Net Worth
Ch. 1, Meet the Millionaire Next Door. Page not verified (Longstreet Press, 1996).
Save money / spend less; Build emergency fund / invest; Stop comparing / social-media envy
03; 20; 26
Plan: I will work out my net worth twice a year and compare it with the formula. I will watch the direction of the gap more than the exact number.
net worth, wealth, income, salary, savings, benchmark, formula, age, accumulate, rich, high earner, spending, assets, debts, measure, progress, money, millionaire, compare, target
You judge how you are doing by your salary. You have never compared what you earn with what you have kept.
Multiply your age by your yearly pre-tax income and divide by ten. Compare the result with your actual net worth.
A rough yardstick: age times yearly pre-tax income, divided by ten. Compare it with your real net worth to see if you keep what you earn.
Superforecasting
Single Model
Philip E. Tetlock and Dan Gardner
Not started
Find out how good my judgement really is. I want a record, not a feeling.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tetlock says vague words like 'possible' or 'likely' make forecasts impossible to judge, and shows that people read such words very differently. His tournaments scored every forecast with a number, and that feedback is what let forecasters improve. Likely to trip me up: Tetlock says vagueness is comfortable because it protects you from being wrong, which is why pundits use it. A written number will sometimes make me look foolish. (Source: Superforecasting, Ch. 3.)
Illusions of Knowing (Make It Stick, Peter Brown and others): only a test tells you what you know. Kind and Wicked Learning Environments (Range, David Epstein): create the feedback your field does not give you.
Thinking & Reasoning
Keep Score
Ch. 3, Keeping Score. Page not verified (Crown, 2015).
Learn a skill / upskill; Journal / self-reflect; Be more productive / organised
17; 24; 13
Plan: I will keep a prediction log for work and personal forecasts, each with a probability and a date. Every three months I will check how my 70 percents actually did.
prediction, forecast, judgement, feedback, accuracy, vague, maybe, percentage, probability, deadline, track record, calibration, overconfidence, experts, pundits, decisions, journal, measure, learning, accountability
You say things 'might' happen and are never wrong. You have no idea if your judgement is any good.
Write down one prediction today with a percentage and a deadline, like '70 percent that I finish this project by the 30th'. Check it on that date.
A prediction you cannot check teaches you nothing. State it with a number and a date, write it down, and score yourself later.
Fooled by Randomness
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Be more careful about copying successful people. I see the survivors, not the full field.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb imagines a huge number of monkeys on typewriters. One will type a great poem by chance, and would you bet on its next work? He applies this to traders with strong track records, and to studies of millionaires that sample only those who ended up rich. Likely to trip me up: Taleb says the losers are silent, so the evidence I see is tilted, and a vivid winner's story is more convincing than a statistic. (Source: Fooled by Randomness, Ch. 8 and Ch. 9.)
Expected Net Worth (The Millionaire Next Door, Thomas Stanley and William Danko): Taleb uses that very book as his example of this bias. The Myth of Financial Expertise (I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ramit Sethi): failed funds vanish from the record.
Biases & Blind Spots
Survivorship Bias
Ch. 8, Too Many Millionaires Next Door, and Ch. 9, It Is Easier to Buy and Sell Than Fry an Egg. Page not verified (Random House Trade Paperbacks, second edition, 2005).
Learn a skill / upskill; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Build emergency fund / invest
17; 26; 20
Plan: When I read success advice, I will look for the base rate: how many people tried this, and how many made it. If I cannot find it, I will treat the advice as a story, not evidence.
success stories, winners, failure, invisible, sample, evidence, advice, entrepreneurs, youtube, dropouts, investing, funds, role models, copying, luck, skill, statistics, base rate, hype, gurus
You copy the habits of a famous success story. You never hear from the thousands who had the same habits and got nowhere.
Take one success story you admire. Ask: how many people tried the same thing, and where are they now?
You only see the winners. The many who did the same thing and failed are invisible, so the winning method looks better than it is.
I Will Teach You to Be Rich
Single Model
Ramit Sethi
Not started
Stop researching my money decisions for months. A decent choice made now beats a perfect one made next year.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Sethi says getting started matters more than becoming an expert, and that too many of us get overwhelmed by needing to get everything right and end up doing nothing. He calls this the 85 Percent Solution. Likely to trip me up: Sethi says an overload of information leads to decision paralysis, and that arguing about small details feels productive while nothing changes. Note: Sethi's examples use US accounts such as the 401(k) and Roth IRA. The principles transfer, the products do not. (Source: I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Introduction.)
Dare to Be Average (Feeling Good, David Burns): a lower bar gets more done. Good Luck Follows Action (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): delay is the real cost.
Decision-Making & Risk
The 85 Percent Solution
Introduction, Would You Rather Be Sexy or Rich? Page not verified (Workman, second edition, 2019).
Build emergency fund / invest; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus
20; 27; 07
Plan: For each money decision I will set a research limit of a few hours, pick the good-enough option, and move on. I will review it once a year, not every week.
perfectionism, analysis paralysis, research, overthinking, start, investing, saving, accounts, funds, decision, delay, procrastination, good enough, money, beginner, overwhelmed, options, comparison, action, simple
You have been 'researching' the best savings account or fund for a year. Your money has sat still the whole time.
Pick one money task you have been researching. Give yourself one hour to choose a good-enough option, and do it today.
Getting started with a good-enough plan beats waiting for the perfect one. With money, 85 percent right today wins.
Fooled by Randomness
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Stop checking my numbers daily. I want to look on a schedule that shows me trends, not wobbles.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb describes a retired dentist with a good portfolio. Checked once a year, he almost always sees a gain. Checked every minute, he sees losses nearly half the time. Since losses hurt more than gains please, the frequent checker is worn down by noise though the investment is the same. Likely to trip me up: Taleb admits he is not immune himself, and says his own answer is to limit his exposure to the information, not to try to stay calm while watching it. (Source: Fooled by Randomness, Ch. 3.)
Variable Reward (Hooked, Nir Eyal): why the checking feels so good. Be Slow to Respond (Make Time, Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky): longer gaps, better judgement.
Thinking & Reasoning
Noise and Signal
Ch. 3, A Mathematical Meditation on History. Page not verified (Random House Trade Paperbacks, second edition, 2005).
Cut phone / social-media use; Manage stress / anxiety; Build emergency fund / invest; Stop comparing / social-media envy
06; 12; 20; 26
Plan: I will check investments quarterly and channel analytics weekly. Between checks I will not open the apps.
checking, portfolio, stocks, news, analytics, views, followers, weight, scale, noise, signal, anxiety, stress, daily, frequency, data, monitoring, volatility, patience, information
You check your investments, your follower count or the news many times a day. Each check gives you a jolt and teaches you nothing.
Pick one thing you check far too often. Decide a much longer interval, weekly or monthly, and remove it from your home screen until then.
The more often you check something that moves randomly, the more noise you see and the less signal. Look less often to see more.
Fooled by Randomness
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Stop expecting knowledge to fix my behaviour. I want barriers in place for the moments I know I am weak.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb opens the last part of the book by saying he is as fooled by randomness as anyone, and that the difference is he knows it. He borrows the image of Odysseus's sailors with wax in their ears: he avoids the information that would trigger him, such as watching his own results through the day. Likely to trip me up: Taleb says our emotional system runs the show and that reason mostly explains things afterwards. Believing I am the exception is the first mistake. (Source: Fooled by Randomness, Part III.)
Self-Control Is a Setup (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): people with good self-control avoid the fight. Anchoring (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): it works even when you know about it.
Habits & Behavior Change
Wax in My Ears
Part III, Wax in My Ears: Living with Randomitis (opening pages). Page not verified (Random House Trade Paperbacks, second edition, 2005).
Cut phone / social-media use; Reduce debt / control spending; Cut junk food / emotional eating
06; 22; 19
Plan: I will list my three most predictable lapses and set up a barrier for each: an app removed, a card left at home, a rule that someone else enforces.
bias, self-control, temptation, willpower, rational, emotion, precommitment, barrier, odysseus, sirens, news, checking, trading, impulse, knowing, doing, discipline, environment, weakness, honesty
You have read all about your biases and still fall for every one. You keep expecting that knowing better will make you do better.
Name one situation where you reliably act against your own judgement. Put a physical barrier in the way today, not a resolution.
Knowing about a bias does not switch it off. Do not rely on being rational. Block the temptation like Odysseus and the Sirens.
Fooled by Randomness
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Review my decisions by their quality, not their results. It is easy to take credit for luck and blame for bad luck.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb uses Russian roulette for a large prize. The survivor looks like a winner, yet in one of six possible histories he is dead. He says the quality of a choice has to be judged across all the histories that could have happened. Likely to trip me up: Taleb says the mind sees only the history that happened, and that success makes people feel skilled. A run of good luck is when this is hardest to do. Note: Taleb is a former trader writing a philosophical essay. The underlying point, outcome bias, is well supported in decision research. (Source: Fooled by Randomness, Ch. 2.)
What You See Is All There Is (WYSIATI) (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): we judge by the one story we can see. Risk Is What You Don't See (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): the outcomes that did not happen still count.
Decision-Making & Risk
Alternative Histories
Ch. 2, A Bizarre Accounting Method. Page not verified (Random House Trade Paperbacks, second edition, 2005).
Build emergency fund / invest; Stop overthinking / rumination; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
20; 15; 27
Plan: For big decisions I will write down my reasoning and the odds as I saw them at the time. When I review, I will read that note before I look at how it turned out.
luck, outcome, decision, risk, hindsight, results, success, failure, gambling, investing, process, judgement, probability, regret, blame, credit, skill, chance, review, lessons
Your risky choice paid off, so you call it smart. Your careful choice went badly, so you call it stupid. You learn the wrong lesson both times.
Take one recent outcome, good or bad. List three other ways it could easily have gone. Then rate the decision itself, separately from the result.
Judge a decision by all the ways it could have turned out, not by the one way it did. A good result can come from a terrible bet.
I Will Teach You to Be Rich
Single Model
Ramit Sethi
Not started
Stop paying for predictions. I want low-cost investments I can hold for decades without watching the news.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Sethi reviews evidence that most actively managed funds fail to beat the market over time, and that fund rankings are distorted because failed funds get closed and vanish from the record. He shows how a fee of one or two percent a year eats a large share of returns over decades. Likely to trip me up: Sethi says confident experts are persuasive and index investing is boring. When markets fall, the urge to do something is strong. Note: this is general education from the book, not personal investment advice. Fund types and tax rules differ by country. (Source: I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ch. 6.)
Take Advice Only From Those Who Know (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): check the adviser. Survivorship Bias (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): the star fund is the one that happened to survive.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Myth of Financial Expertise
Ch. 6, The Myth of Financial Expertise. Page not verified (Workman, second edition, 2019).
Build emergency fund / invest; Save money / spend less
20; 03
Plan: I will check the fees on everything I hold, look at low-cost index funds as the alternative, and stop reading daily market commentary.
investing, experts, pundits, tips, stock picking, market timing, fees, expense ratio, index funds, mutual funds, adviser, advisor, predictions, news, returns, long term, passive, active, costs, hype
You follow market tips, move money after every headline, and pay for funds that promise to beat the index.
Find the annual fee on one investment you hold. Work out what that percentage costs you over twenty years.
Professionals rarely beat the market after fees, and nobody can time it. Low cost and long holding beat clever picks.
Your Money or Your Life
Single Model
Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez
Not started
Know my number. I want to see on one chart how far I am from work being optional.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robin and Dominguez have you plot monthly expenses and monthly investment income on the same wall chart. The point where the lines cross is the Crossover Point, after which paid work becomes a choice. They say seeing both lines move is strongly motivating. Likely to trip me up: The original book assumed high interest from government bonds, which no longer holds. The 2018 edition updates the investing advice. The return I assume matters a lot, and a rosy number will mislead me. Note: this is general education, not personal investment advice. (Source: Your Money or Your Life, Ch. 8.)
Confounding Compounding (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): what moves the income line. Match Quality (Range, David Epstein): freedom to choose work that fits.
Systems & Strategy
The Crossover Point
Ch. 8, The Crossover Point. Page not verified (Penguin revised edition, 2008). Titled 'Catching Fire: The Crossover Point' in the 2018 edition.
Build emergency fund / invest; Save money / spend less
20; 03
Plan: I will keep a simple monthly chart with two lines, expenses and investment income. Lowering the first and raising the second are the only two jobs.
financial independence, fire, retire early, passive income, investments, expenses, savings rate, freedom, job, quit, chart, crossover, wealth, goal, long term, enough, work optional, capital, interest, planning
'Retirement' feels like a vague far-off number, so you never work out how far you actually are from not needing the pay cheque.
Write down your average monthly expenses. Then write what your savings currently earn per month. Look at the gap.
Financial independence is one moment on a chart: when the monthly income from your investments passes your monthly expenses.
Superforecasting
Single Model
Philip E. Tetlock and Dan Gardner
Not started
Review my wins as carefully as my losses. I want to know which parts were skill and which were luck.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tetlock reports that the strongest predictor of rising into the ranks of superforecasters was perpetual beta, the degree of commitment to belief updating and self-improvement. He says it mattered roughly three times as much as its closest rival, intelligence. Likely to trip me up: Tetlock says people rarely do post-mortems on successes, because a good result feels like proof. Practice without clear feedback does not improve anything. (Source: Superforecasting, Ch. 8.)
Growth Mindset (Mindset, Carol Dweck): the belief underneath. Purposeful Practice (Peak, Anders Ericsson): feedback and a specific target.
Learning & Knowledge
Perpetual Beta
Ch. 8, Perpetual Beta. Page not verified (Crown, 2015).
Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Journal / self-reflect
17; 27; 24
Plan: After every finished project I will do a short written post-mortem: what I predicted, what happened, what I would do differently. I will reread the last three before starting the next project.
improvement, feedback, post-mortem, review, mistakes, learning, growth, skill, practice, failure, success, luck, analysis, iterate, beta, humility, grit, reflection, mastery, progress
After a success you celebrate, after a failure you move on fast. You never look closely at either, so you do not get better.
Take one recent result, good or bad. Spend fifteen minutes writing what you got right, what you got wrong, and what was just luck.
Treat your skill as a product that is never finished. Try, fail, analyse, adjust, try again. The commitment to improve beats raw talent.
Superforecasting
Single Model
Philip E. Tetlock and Dan Gardner
Not started
Change my mind in proportion to the evidence. Not never, and not with every headline.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tetlock found that the best forecasters updated often and in small steps, typically a few percentage points at a time. He describes both failure modes: under-reacting because you are attached to your view, and over-reacting to vivid but minor news. Likely to trip me up: Tetlock says commitment makes under-reaction worse. Once I have stated a view publicly, or built my identity on it, each update feels like an admission. (Source: Superforecasting, Ch. 7.)
Anchoring (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): the first view holds on too tight. Noise and Signal (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): most daily news deserves no update at all.
Thinking & Reasoning
Update in Small Steps
Ch. 7, Supernewsjunkies? Page not verified (Crown, 2015).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
15; 25; 17
Plan: For beliefs I care about, I will keep a number and a short log. When something new comes up, I will write how many points it moves me and why.
beliefs, opinions, evidence, change mind, stubborn, overreact, news, headlines, update, bayesian, open-minded, flexible, investing, politics, arguments, certainty, doubt, learning, judgement, humility
You either cling to your first opinion whatever happens, or you swing to a new one with each article you read.
Pick one belief you hold. Find one piece of evidence against it. Ask how much, in percentage points, it should move you, and move that much.
When new evidence arrives, move your view a little in its direction. Ignoring the news and lurching with every headline are both errors.
I Will Teach You to Be Rich
Single Model
Ramit Sethi
Not started
Put my money effort where it counts. One salary conversation is worth more than a year of skipped coffees.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Sethi argues against the advice to cut out small pleasures. He says a few big wins, such as automating savings, keeping investment fees low, and negotiating salary, produce most of the result, and gives scripts for the pay conversation. Likely to trip me up: Sethi says small cuts feel virtuous and are easy, while big wins need an awkward conversation or a big decision. That is why people stay busy with the small stuff. (Source: I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ch. 4 and Ch. 9.)
The 80/20 Rule (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): a few items carry most of the value. The Focusing Question (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller): find the move that makes the rest easier.
Decision-Making & Risk
Focus on the Big Wins
Ch. 4, Conscious Spending, and Ch. 9, A Rich Life. Page not verified (Workman, second edition, 2019).
Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending; Be more productive / organised
03; 22; 13
Plan: This year I will work on two big wins: negotiating my pay and cutting my largest fixed cost. I will stop tracking small treats.
big wins, saving, latte, frugal, salary, negotiation, raise, rent, housing, car, fees, priorities, 80/20, money, budget, small savings, coupons, leverage, income, decisions
You agonise over a coffee and then sign a lease or accept a salary without negotiating.
List your three biggest monthly costs and your income. Pick the one where a single change would save or earn the most, and start there.
A handful of large decisions, like pay, housing, fees and automation, outweigh a thousand small savings. Work on those first.
Your Money or Your Life
Single Model
Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez
Not started
Know exactly where my money goes, without beating myself up about it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robin and Dominguez make tracking Step 2 and the monthly tabulation Step 3. They say the act of recording, done with no shame and no blame, is what creates awareness, and that categories should be your own, not a standard list. Likely to trip me up: They say people quit tracking when they start judging themselves, or when they round things off. The method depends on precision and on kindness at the same time. (Source: Your Money or Your Life, Ch. 2 and Ch. 3.)
Run Your Day as an Experiment (Make Time, Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky): treat the numbers as data. Open Loops (Getting Things Done, David Allen): what is written down stops nagging.
Habits & Behavior Change
Track Every Cent (No Shame, No Blame)
Ch. 2 (Step 2, part B starts on p. 66) and Ch. 3, Where Is It All Going? (starts on p. 74) (Penguin revised edition, 2008, ISBN 9780143115762).
Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less; Journal / self-reflect
22; 03; 24
Plan: I will log every expense the moment it happens for one month. At month end I will sort it into categories that fit my real life, and convert each total into hours of my life.
tracking, expenses, spending, budget, awareness, statement, avoidance, shame, guilt, money, diary, log, app, cash, receipts, monthly, categories, debt, overspending, honesty
You have a vague sense you overspend and avoid checking your statement because it makes you feel bad.
For the next seven days, write down everything you spend, to the last coin, the moment you spend it. Do not judge any of it.
Write down every unit of money that comes in or goes out, with no judgement. You cannot change what you refuse to look at.
Your Money or Your Life
Single Model
Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez
Not started
See what my job really pays per hour of my life, and price my purchases in those hours.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robin and Dominguez define money as something you trade your life energy for. Their Step 2 has you compute a real hourly wage by adding job-related hours and subtracting job-related costs, which for many people cuts the headline rate sharply. Likely to trip me up: They say the number is often a shock, and that the point is awareness, not shame. The risk is doing the sum once, feeling bad, and not using it. Note: the book comes from the authors' own experience and seminars, not from studies. (Source: Your Money or Your Life, Ch. 2.)
The Cost Is Measured in Life (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): the same Thoreau idea applied to attention. Man in the Car Paradox (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): what the hours are often spent on.
Decision-Making & Risk
Money Is Life Energy (Your Real Hourly Wage)
Ch. 2, Money Ain't What It Used to Be, and Never Was. Starts on p. 38, with Step 2 on p. 56 (Penguin revised edition, 2008, ISBN 9780143115762). Chapter numbers are the same in the 2018 edition.
Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending; Improve mental health / be happier
03; 22; 04
Plan: I will add up the true hours my job takes, including commute and recovery, and the costs it creates. Then I will put the hours-cost next to any purchase over a set amount before I buy.
money, time, life energy, hourly wage, salary, commute, work, job, spending, price, worth it, hours, overtime, stress, lifestyle, career, value, purchase, trade-off, freedom
You think you earn a good rate. You have never subtracted the commute, the work clothes, the stress spending and the unpaid hours.
Take your monthly pay, subtract what the job costs you, and divide by all the hours it really takes. That is your real hourly wage.
Money is the hours of life you traded for it. Work out your real hourly wage, then price everything in hours, not currency.
Your Money or Your Life
Single Model
Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez
Not started
Review my spending by what it gave me, not only by the totals.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robin and Dominguez say asking these questions every month changes spending without willpower, because categories that keep scoring a minus shrink on their own. They insist on no budget. Likely to trip me up: Their rule is 'no shame, no blame'. They warn that judging yourself makes people stop looking at the numbers at all. The third question is harder to answer than it sounds. (Source: Your Money or Your Life, Ch. 4.)
The Conscious Spending Plan (I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ramit Sethi): spend on what passes the test. Values Are Directions (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): know what you are aligning to.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Three Questions
Ch. 4, How Much Is Enough? Starts on p. 106, with Step 4 on p. 109 (Penguin revised edition, 2008, ISBN 9780143115762).
Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less; Journal / self-reflect
22; 03; 24
Plan: At the end of each month I will go through my spending categories and ask the three questions of each. I will adjust next month by the marks, without setting a budget.
spending, values, review, worth it, fulfilment, fulfillment, budget, questions, monthly, reflection, purpose, regret, purchases, alignment, money, mindful, conscious, journaling, choices, priorities
You review your spending and only ask 'can I afford it?' Nobody asks if it was worth it.
Take last month's five biggest optional expenses. For each, mark a plus, minus or zero for: worth it, fits my values, and would I still buy it if I did not have to work.
Ask of every expense: was it worth the life energy, does it fit my values, and would I spend this if I did not need a job?
Your Money or Your Life
Single Model
Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez
Not started
Find my own 'enough' in a few spending categories, so I can stop upgrading by default.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robin and Dominguez draw a curve that rises steeply through survival and comforts, more slowly through luxuries, peaks at a point they call enough, and then falls. They define clutter as anything that is excess for you, which costs life energy to buy, store and maintain. Likely to trip me up: They say most people have been trained to believe more is better, so the downward slope feels like progress while it is happening. Enough is personal, so nobody can tell me where my peak is. (Source: Your Money or Your Life, Ch. 1.)
Enough (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): the same word, from the investing side. Expectations and Reality (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): why the peak keeps moving.
Mindset & Emotions
The Fulfillment Curve
Ch. 1, The Money Trap: The Old Road Map for Money. Starts on p. 1 (Penguin revised edition, 2008, ISBN 9780143115762).
Save money / spend less; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Improve mental health / be happier
03; 26; 04
Plan: For my three biggest optional spending areas, I will write what enough looks like, and treat anything beyond it as something that needs a reason.
enough, fulfilment, fulfillment, happiness, spending, clutter, upgrade, consumerism, luxury, comfort, survival, more, satisfaction, minimalism, shopping, stuff, lifestyle, contentment, money, peak
You keep upgrading, the phone, the car, the flat, and each upgrade gives you a smaller lift than the last.
Draw the curve. Mark where you think you are for one category, like clothes or gadgets. Ask what 'enough' would look like there.
Spending buys more fulfilment up to a point called enough. Past that peak, each extra purchase adds clutter and takes life away.
Superforecasting
Single Model
Philip E. Tetlock and Dan Gardner
Not started
Give better estimates at work. I want to break the question down instead of guessing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tetlock names this after the physicist Enrico Fermi, who asked students things like how many piano tuners there are in Chicago. He found that superforecasters routinely broke questions into parts, and started from the outside view, how often things of this kind happen, before looking at the details of the case. Likely to trip me up: Tetlock says the inside view, the vivid details of this particular case, grabs attention first and anchors the estimate. Starting with the dull base rate takes discipline. (Source: Superforecasting, Ch. 5.)
The Planning Fallacy (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): begin with how such things usually go. What Is the Next Action? (Getting Things Done, David Allen): make the vague thing concrete.
Thinking & Reasoning
Fermi-ize the Question
Ch. 5, Supersmart? Page not verified (Crown, 2015).
Be more punctual / manage time; Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill
23; 13; 17
Plan: For any estimate I am asked for, I will first ask how long similar things usually take, then split the task into parts, estimate each, and adjust.
estimate, estimation, guess, problem solving, breakdown, base rate, outside view, numbers, planning, project, time, cost, interview, fermi, uncertainty, analysis, assumptions, decision, forecast, reasoning
Someone asks 'how long will this take?' or 'will this work?' You either freeze or throw out a gut number.
Take one big question you are facing. Split it into three or four smaller questions you could roughly answer, and answer those first.
Break an impossible question into smaller ones you can estimate. Sort the known from the unknown, and start from the base rate.
Superforecasting
Single Model
Philip E. Tetlock and Dan Gardner
Not started
Stop thinking in sure and impossible. I want a number in my head, and a plan for the other side.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tetlock found that superforecasters made finer distinctions, such as 60 versus 65 percent, and that when their forecasts were rounded to coarser numbers, accuracy dropped. He also found they were less likely to explain events as fate or meant to be. Likely to trip me up: Tetlock says the mind wants certainty and leaders are rewarded for sounding sure. Saying '65 percent' can sound weak even when it is the honest answer. (Source: Superforecasting, Ch. 6.)
Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): plan for the side you did not bet on. Alternative Histories (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): the other outcomes were real possibilities.
Thinking & Reasoning
Think in Probabilities
Ch. 6, Superquants? Page not verified (Crown, 2015).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety; Build emergency fund / invest
15; 12; 20
Plan: When I catch myself saying 'definitely' or 'no way', I will replace it with a percentage, and write one line on what I would do if I am wrong.
probability, odds, certainty, uncertainty, maybe, percent, risk, decision, planning, fate, meant to be, black and white, nuance, confidence, doubt, forecast, numeracy, contingency, backup plan, judgement
You treat a 60 percent chance as a sure thing, plan for nothing else, and feel betrayed when the other 40 shows up.
For one thing you are 'sure' about today, put a percentage on it. Then ask what you would do if the other side happened.
Most people have three settings: yes, no and maybe. Good forecasters use fine-grained odds, and the fineness itself improves accuracy.
The Millionaire Next Door
Single Model
Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko
Not started
Put as much effort into keeping money as into earning it. Defence is usually an afterthought.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Stanley and Danko report that the majority of the millionaires they surveyed ran their households on a budget, knew what they spent each year, and lived well below their means. They describe frugality as the cornerstone of wealth building. Likely to trip me up: They found that high earners in status professions, like doctors and lawyers, often felt they had to look the part and spent accordingly. Note: this is survey data from 1990s America on people who ended up wealthy. It shows what they had in common, not that frugality alone made them rich. (Source: The Millionaire Next Door, Ch. 2.)
Expenses Rise to Meet Income (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): the same leak. The Conscious Spending Plan (I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ramit Sethi): a modern way to run defence.
Systems & Strategy
Play Great Defence
Ch. 2, Frugal Frugal Frugal. Page not verified (Longstreet Press, 1996).
Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending
03; 22
Plan: I will set a yearly household budget, know my annual totals for the main categories, and review them every quarter.
frugal, frugality, budget, spending, saving, income, raise, lifestyle, defence, defense, offence, offense, below means, household, annual, planning, wealth, discipline, money, earnings
You put all your effort into earning more, and none into where it goes. Your spending rises to meet every raise.
Answer one of the book's questions honestly: do you know how much your household spends each year on food, clothing and shelter?
Earning is offence and keeping is defence. Most people who build wealth do it with good defence: budgeting and living below their means.
Fooled by Randomness
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Stop choosing by 'it usually works'. I want to look at the size of the rare outcome too.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb gives the example of a market he thought was more likely to go up than down, while he was betting on it going down, because the fall, if it came, would be far larger. He says people confuse probability with expectation. Likely to trip me up: Taleb says strategies that win small and often feel good every day, until the rare large loss arrives. The steady wins make people feel safe exactly when they are most exposed. (Source: Fooled by Randomness, Ch. 6.)
Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): survive the rare big loss. Loss Aversion (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): our feelings weigh frequency, not size.
Decision-Making & Risk
Skewness (Size Matters More Than Frequency)
Ch. 6, Skewness and Asymmetry. Page not verified (Random House Trade Paperbacks, second edition, 2005).
Build emergency fund / invest; Reduce debt / control spending; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
20; 22; 27
Plan: For any big decision I will write the worst realistic outcome and whether I could survive it. If I could not, the odds do not matter and the answer is no.
risk, odds, probability, payoff, expected value, asymmetry, rare events, ruin, upside, downside, bets, investing, insurance, startup, career, decisions, gambling, tail risk, magnitude, frequency
You take a bet because it 'usually works', and ignore that the rare failure would wipe you out. Or you avoid a bet that usually fails but costs little and could pay hugely.
For one decision, write two columns: how likely each outcome is, and how big. Multiply across before you decide.
How often you are right matters less than how much you gain when right and lose when wrong. Weigh the size, not just the odds.
The Millionaire Next Door
Single Model
Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko
Not started
Turn my money worry into money planning. The same hours, used differently.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Stanley and Danko found that prodigious accumulators spent nearly twice as many hours a month planning their investments as under accumulators did. Under accumulators reported far more time worrying about money. Likely to trip me up: They found the worriers were often high earners who said they had no time to plan. The worry felt like attention to the problem, so it never turned into a plan. Note: 1990s survey data, and a correlation, not proof of cause. (Source: The Millionaire Next Door, Ch. 3.)
Quadrant II (The 7 Habits, Stephen Covey): important and never urgent. The Weekly Review (Getting Things Done, David Allen): a fixed slot keeps the system alive.
Systems & Strategy
Plan Your Money or Worry About It
Ch. 3, Time, Energy, and Money. Page not verified (Longstreet Press, 1996).
Build emergency fund / invest; Manage stress / anxiety; Be more punctual / manage time
20; 12; 23
Plan: I will block two fixed hours a month for planning: review accounts, check goals, decide the next action. When money worry shows up outside that slot, I will write it down for the next session.
planning, money, time, worry, anxiety, finances, investments, hours, monthly, calendar, review, goals, stress, fear, avoidance, organised, organized, budget, wealth, routine
You think about money every day, in the form of worry. You have not spent one calm hour this month actually planning it.
Put one hour in your calendar this week, labelled money. Use it to look at accounts, bills and goals. No spending, no worrying, only planning.
People who build wealth spend hours each month planning their money. People who do not spend those hours worrying about it.
I Will Teach You to Be Rich
Single Model
Ramit Sethi
Not started
Make saving happen without me. A system that depends on remembering each month fails in a busy month.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Sethi calls this the Automatic Money Flow. He draws on research showing that defaults drive saving: when enrolment is automatic, far more people end up investing than when they have to opt in. Likely to trip me up: Sethi says the setup takes a few hours and people put it off because nothing forces them to. Irregular income needs an extra buffer step, which he covers separately. (Source: I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ch. 5.)
Pay Yourself First (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): the rule. This is the machinery. Friction (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): make the good action take no effort.
Habits & Behavior Change
Automate Your Money
Ch. 5, Save While Sleeping. Page not verified (Workman, second edition, 2019).
Save money / spend less; Build emergency fund / invest; Reduce debt / control spending
03; 20; 22
Plan: I will line up my transfers around payday: savings and investments go out first, then bills, and what is left is for spending. I will check the system once a month for ten minutes.
automation, automatic, transfer, saving, investing, bills, payday, accounts, system, willpower, forget, discipline, money, recurring, standing order, direct debit, default, set and forget, habit, consistency
You mean to save every month. Some months you remember, most months life gets in the way.
Set up one automatic transfer today: from your main account to savings, dated the day after payday.
Set up your accounts so that pay flows into bills, savings and investments on its own. Remove yourself and your moods from the loop.
I Will Teach You to Be Rich
Single Model
Ramit Sethi
Not started
Spend on what I love without guilt, and stop leaking money on things I do not care about.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Sethi separates being cheap, which is cutting everything, from being conscious, which is choosing. He suggests rough targets: fixed costs 50 to 60 percent of take-home pay, investments 10, savings 5 to 10, and guilt-free spending 20 to 35. Likely to trip me up: Sethi says most people will not keep a detailed budget, which is why he avoids one. But the plan still needs an honest look at where the money goes now, and that first look is unpleasant. (Source: I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ch. 4.)
The Three Questions (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): test each expense against what it gives you. The 90 Percent Rule (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): a clear yes or a no.
Systems & Strategy
The Conscious Spending Plan
Ch. 4, Conscious Spending. Page not verified (Workman, second edition, 2019).
Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending; Improve mental health / be happier
03; 22; 04
Plan: I will split my take-home pay into four buckets: fixed costs, investments, savings goals, and guilt-free spending. Once the first three are covered, the rest is mine to spend with no tracking.
budget, budgeting, spending, guilt, frugal, cheap, latte, subscriptions, priorities, values, money, saving, fun money, eating out, travel, shopping, plan, percentages, fixed costs, control
You feel guilty about every coffee, and still have no idea where the money went at the end of the month.
Name the one or two things you truly love spending on. Then name three things you pay for and do not care about. Cancel one today.
Spend freely on the few things you love and cut hard on the things you do not. Decide the split in advance, not at the till.
The Millionaire Next Door
Single Model
Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko
Not started
Help the people I love in ways that make them stronger, not more dependent on me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Stanley and Danko found that adult children who received regular cash gifts from wealthy parents had lower net worth than similar people who received none, and tended to spend more. Gifts towards education and starting a business were the exceptions. Likely to trip me up: They say parents give most to the child who seems to need it most, which deepens the dependence. It feels like love, and saying no feels cruel. Note: this is survey data from wealthy American families in the 1990s. The pattern may not hold everywhere. (Source: The Millionaire Next Door, Ch. 5.)
P/PC Balance (The 7 Habits, Stephen Covey): build the capability, not only the result. Praise the Process (Mindset, Carol Dweck): help that protects people from effort backfires.
People & Communication
Economic Outpatient Care
Ch. 5, Economic Outpatient Care. Page not verified (Longstreet Press, 1996).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Reduce debt / control spending
25; 14; 22
Plan: Before giving money, I will ask what it is for. I will prefer paying for education or a start in business over funding everyday spending.
parents, children, adult children, gifts, allowance, support, dependence, rescue, bailout, family, money, inheritance, entitlement, spoiled, help, enabling, siblings, independence, teach, subsidy
You keep rescuing a grown child, a sibling or a friend with money. Each rescue makes the next one more likely.
Think of one person you support regularly. Ask: is this helping them build something, or paying for a lifestyle they cannot sustain?
Regular money gifts to able adults tend to weaken them. The more you subsidise someone's lifestyle, the less they build their own.
Same as Ever
Single Model
Morgan Housel
Not started
Get better at spotting who gains from the advice I am given, including the advice I give myself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Housel says incentives are the most powerful force in the world and can get good people to justify almost anything. He stresses that this is rarely deliberate lying. People come to honestly believe what it pays them to believe. Likely to trip me up: Housel says it is easy to see this in others and very hard to see in myself. He suggests asking which of my current views would change if my incentives were different. (Source: Same as Ever, 'Incentives: The Most Powerful Force in the World'.)
The Manipulation Matrix (Hooked, Nir Eyal): check who benefits from your attention. Anchoring (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): another way someone else's interest shapes your number.
Thinking & Reasoning
Incentives
Chapter 'Incentives: The Most Powerful Force in the World' (19th of 23). Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2023).
Reduce debt / control spending; Build emergency fund / invest; Improve relationships / communicate
22; 20; 25
Plan: For any money decision or big recommendation, I will write down how the person advising me gets paid. I will also ask what I would believe if my own income depended on the opposite.
incentives, rewards, bias, advice, sales, commission, adviser, advisor, money, investing, boss, company, politics, behaviour, behavior, motivation, trust, conflict of interest, decisions, self-deception
You take advice from a salesperson, an adviser on commission, or your own wishful thinking, and never ask what each stands to gain.
Before you act on someone's advice today, ask: what happens for them if I say yes? Then ask the same about your own opinion.
People do what they are rewarded for and then believe it was right. To predict behaviour, including your own, look at the incentives.
Make Time
Single Model
Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky
Not started
Stop spending my day on whatever shows up. I want my phone and calendar set up so the easy path is the one I would choose.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Knapp and Zeratsky helped build Gmail and YouTube. They name two forces, the Busy Bandwagon and Infinity Pools, and say both win because they are the default. Their answer comes from design work: change the defaults so the wanted behaviour takes no effort. Likely to trip me up: They say willpower alone will not work, because these products are built by people like them to be as easy and attractive as possible. One burst of motivation fades, and the default is still there. (Source: Make Time, Introduction.)
Friction (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): make the default path the good one. The Hook Model (Hooked, Nir Eyal): how the bottomless apps were built.
Habits & Behavior Change
Change Your Defaults
Introduction. Page not verified (Currency, 2018).
Cut phone / social-media use; Be more productive / organised; Limit multitasking / context-switching
06; 13; 28
Plan: I will list the defaults that run my day: notifications on, meetings auto-accepted, apps on the home screen. Each week I will flip one of them.
defaults, settings, busy, distraction, phone, apps, infinite scroll, email, meetings, calendar, notifications, reactive, culture, always on, time, attention, social media, news, streaming, design
Every gap in your day is filled before you choose. Work fills it with meetings and messages. Your phone fills the rest.
Change one default today: turn off one notification type for good, or remove one endless app from your home screen.
Two defaults eat your day: a culture of instant replies and apps with no bottom. Willpower will not beat a default. Change the default.
Same as Ever
Single Model
Morgan Housel
Not started
Feel the progress I have already made. Life gets better and expectations quietly eat the difference.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Housel says the first rule of happiness is low expectations. He points to the 1950s in America, remembered as a golden age though people were far poorer than today, because the gap between people felt small. He says managing expectations deserves as much effort as improving circumstances. Likely to trip me up: Housel says expectations are set by the people around you, and social media has made 'around you' mean everyone's best moments. The goalpost moves without me noticing. (Source: Same as Ever, 'Expectations and Reality'.)
Enough (The Psychology of Money, same author): stop the goalpost from moving. The Struggle Switch (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): fighting how things are adds a second layer of pain.
Mindset & Emotions
Expectations and Reality
Chapter 'Expectations and Reality' (3rd of 23). Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2023).
Improve mental health / be happier; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Save money / spend less
04; 26; 03
Plan: Once a month I will compare my life with my own life five years ago, not with the people in my feed. I will keep my spending steady after any raise for at least six months.
happiness, expectations, comparison, envy, social media, income, raise, lifestyle, enough, gratitude, satisfaction, goalpost, keeping up, neighbours, wealth, contentment, ambition, disappointment, status, money
You earn more than you did five years ago and feel no better off, because everyone you compare yourself to moved up too.
Write down three things you have today that your self of five years ago was hoping for. Notice how fast they became normal.
Happiness is the gap between what you have and what you expected. When life improves, expectations rise just as fast. Watch the second one.
The War of Art
Single Model
Steven Pressfield
Not started
Read comments on my work without feeling they are about me. I want to keep publishing after a bad reaction.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Pressfield says the professional does not take failure or success personally, and validates herself instead of waiting for others to. He describes thinking of himself as a corporation, which lets him separate the person who does the work from the person who runs the business. Likely to trip me up: Pressfield says the amateur over-identifies with the work, so every rejection feels like a judgement on his worth. That habit is old, and one mental trick will not remove it. (Source: The War of Art, Book Two, 'You, Inc.'.)
Feedback (Ultralearning, Scott Young): use the part that tells you what to fix. Verbal Judo (Feeling Good, David Burns): agree with what is true and stay calm.
Mindset & Emotions
You, Inc.
Book Two, sections 'A Professional Does Not Take Failure (or Success) Personally' and 'You, Inc.'. Page not verified (Black Irish Entertainment paperback, 2012).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Manage stress / anxiety
27; 26; 12
Plan: After each piece I publish, I will do a short review as if I were the manager of 'Me, Inc.': what worked, what to change next time. Then I will start the next piece the same day.
criticism, rejection, failure, feedback, ego, identity, self-worth, sensitive, comments, reviews, creative, work, detachment, professional, resilience, confidence, shame, perfectionism, publishing, judgement
One harsh comment on your work ruins your week. You start avoiding anything that could be criticised.
Take one piece of criticism you received. Write what it says about the work, and only the work. Decide one change.
Think of yourself as a company with you as an employee. The work can be judged, fixed and improved without it being a verdict on you.
Make Time
Single Model
Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky
Not started
End each day able to name one thing I chose to do, not just things I reacted to.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Knapp and Zeratsky give three ways to choose a Highlight: urgency, satisfaction, or joy. They say it sits between a small task and a big goal, and that scheduling it is what makes it happen. Likely to trip me up: They say the day's defaults, meetings and messages, will fill any space that is not claimed. A Highlight that is only in my head will lose to the first email. Note: this book is the authors' tested-on-themselves tactics, not research. They say so openly. (Source: Make Time, Highlight section.)
Eat That Frog (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): pick by importance. The Highlight can also be picked for joy. The Focusing Question (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller): one thing first.
Productivity & Focus
The Daily Highlight
Part 'Highlight'. The book has no numbered chapters, only numbered tactics. Page not verified (Currency, 2018).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Improve mental health / be happier
13; 07; 04
Plan: Each morning I will write one Highlight, put a 60 to 90 minute block for it in my calendar, and treat that block as the fixed point of the day.
priorities, focus, daily, morning, planning, busy, blur, satisfaction, joy, meaning, to-do, list, calendar, schedule, time, highlight, intention, work, family, hobbies
Your days blur together. You were busy all week and cannot name one thing you were glad you did.
Ask: when today is over, what do I want to look back on? Write it on a sticky note and put it in your calendar.
Each morning choose one thing to be the bright spot of the day, sized at 60 to 90 minutes, and plan the day around it.
The War of Art
Single Model
Steven Pressfield
Not started
Use my fear to choose my next project. The one I keep avoiding is probably the one I most want.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Pressfield says Resistance is felt as fear, and that its strength matches how much the work matters to us. He compares it to a compass needle that points to the thing we most need to do. He says self-doubt is a good sign too, because the fake is always sure of himself. Likely to trip me up: Pressfield is writing about creative and personal callings. Note: fear also shows up for plain bad ideas. The book does not cover that, so treat this as a pointer to look at, not a rule to follow blindly. (Source: The War of Art, Book One, 'Resistance Is Infallible' and 'Resistance and Fear'.)
Test and Learn (Range, David Epstein): take the step small enough to survive. The Last of the Human Freedoms (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): what matters is often what is hardest.
Decision-Making & Risk
Resistance Points North
Book One, sections 'Resistance Is Infallible' and 'Resistance and Fear'. Page not verified (Black Irish Entertainment paperback, 2012).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 07; 17
Plan: When choosing what to work on, I will rate each option by how much it scares me, and give the scariest one a small first step within a day.
fear, scared, self-doubt, imposter, courage, calling, dream, risk, project, choice, avoidance, important, meaning, career, creative, start, comfort zone, anxiety, decision, direction
You have three projects you could start. You pick the safe one, again, because the one you really want scares you.
List the projects you are considering. Mark the one that scares you most. Take one small step on that one today.
The more afraid you are of a piece of work, the more it probably matters to you. Use the fear as a compass, not a stop sign.
Same as Ever
Single Model
Morgan Housel
Not started
Stop optimising every hour. I want unplanned time in my week, because that is where thinking happens.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Housel points to evolution, where no species is perfect at everything, because being perfect at one thing means being weak at another. He says the same holds for schedules: time with nothing planned, walking and thinking, often produces the most valuable work. Likely to trip me up: Housel says slack looks like laziness on paper, so it is the first thing cut. A full calendar feels productive even when it is making me fragile. (Source: Same as Ever, 'Casualties of Perfection'.)
Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, same author): the same idea applied to money. Focused and Diffuse Modes (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): ideas arrive in the unplanned gaps.
Systems & Strategy
Casualties of Perfection
Chapter 'Casualties of Perfection' (14th of 23). Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2023).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety
27; 13; 12
Plan: I will keep two unscheduled hours a week and protect them like meetings. I will use them for walking and thinking, with no output expected.
perfectionism, efficiency, optimise, optimize, slack, buffer, margin, calendar, schedule, packed, burnout, fragile, resilience, free time, thinking time, walk, budget, overplanning, productivity, rest
Your calendar is packed to the minute and your budget has no spare. One delay or one surprise bill breaks the whole thing.
Leave one hour in tomorrow's calendar with nothing in it. Do not fill it when something comes up. See what it gets used for.
A system tuned to be perfect at one thing becomes fragile everywhere else. A little slack and inefficiency is what keeps you going.
The Richest Man in Babylon
Single Model
George S. Clason
Not started
Stop acting on money tips from people who have never done the thing themselves.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: In the parable, Arkad gives his first year's savings to a brickmaker who is travelling to buy jewels, and loses it all. His mentor asks why he would trust a brickmaker about jewels. The Five Laws of Gold repeat the point: gold stays with the owner who invests it under the advice of people skilled in its handling, and leaves the one who puts it into things he does not understand. Likely to trip me up: Clason's fifth law warns that gold flees from those who chase impossible earnings or follow tricksters. The offers that sound best are the ones to be most careful about. (Source: The Richest Man in Babylon, 'The Richest Man in Babylon' and 'The Five Laws of Gold'.)
Incentives (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): also ask what the adviser gains. Kind and Wicked Learning Environments (Range, David Epstein): confidence is not the same as skill.
Decision-Making & Risk
Take Advice Only From Those Who Know
Chapters 'The Richest Man in Babylon' and 'The Five Laws of Gold'. Page not verified. Page numbers differ widely between editions.
Build emergency fund / invest; Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less
20; 22; 03
Plan: Before any investment I will write down who advised it and what their actual experience in that field is. If I cannot name any, I will wait until I have asked someone who has it.
advice, investing, tips, friends, family, influencers, crypto, stocks, scam, expert, experience, trust, loss, mistake, money, research, due diligence, adviser, advisor, confidence
You put money into something because a confident friend or a video said so. They had never done it themselves.
Before your next money decision, ask: does the person advising me have real, long experience in exactly this? If not, find someone who does.
Take advice about a thing only from people who work with that thing. A friend who means well is not the same as one who knows.
Make Time
Single Model
Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky
Not started
Stop treating a failed habit as a personal failure. I want to treat it as a test result and try the next version.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Knapp and Zeratsky borrow the scientific method: observe, guess, experiment, measure. They say no single tactic works for everyone, so the only way to find yours is to test and take notes. Likely to trip me up: They warn against aiming for perfection. Some tactics will not fit my life, and that is expected. The risk is skipping the evening notes, because without them I will not remember what worked. (Source: Make Time, Reflect section.)
B = MAP (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): when a habit fails, fix the design, not yourself. The Weekly Review (Getting Things Done, David Allen): the weekly version of the same loop.
Habits & Behavior Change
Run Your Day as an Experiment
Part 'Reflect'. Page not verified (Currency, 2018).
Journal / self-reflect; Be more productive / organised; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
24; 13; 27
Plan: Each evening I will take two minutes to note the tactic I tried, my focus and energy out of ten, and one thing to change tomorrow.
reflection, journal, journaling, experiment, notes, evening, review, tracking, habits, self-improvement, failure, guilt, feedback, learning, adjust, iterate, daily, routine, progress, tactics
You read a great productivity book, try everything at once, fail by Thursday, and conclude that you are the problem.
Tonight, write three lines: what you tried today, how your focus and energy were, and what you will try tomorrow.
Treat each change as a test, not a verdict on you. Try one tactic, note what happened in the evening, keep it or drop it.
Four Thousand Weeks
Single Model
Oliver Burkeman
Not started
Take the pressure off my work having to be important. I want to make useful, ordinary things and ship them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Burkeman says that seen from far enough away, almost nobody's life makes a dent, and that seeing this lifts an impossible standard. Cooking a meal for your children or doing work that helps a few people counts as a meaningful use of a life. Likely to trip me up: Burkeman says we overvalue our own existence by default, so the grand standard keeps coming back. He is also clear this is not an argument for doing nothing. (Source: Four Thousand Weeks, Ch. 13.)
Strip It Down to What It Is (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): see the thing at its real size. Dare to Be Average (Feeling Good, David Burns): lower the bar and more gets done.
Mindset & Emotions
Cosmic Insignificance Therapy
Ch. 13, Cosmic Insignificance Therapy. Starts on p. 203 (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, first edition, 2021).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Improve mental health / be happier
27; 12; 26; 04
Plan: When I notice I am stalling because something is not impressive enough, I will ask how much it will matter in a hundred years, and then do the small version the same day.
perfectionism, pressure, meaning, purpose, legacy, remarkable, ordinary, failure, anxiety, overthinking, comparison, ambition, enough, mortality, perspective, relief, ego, expectations, self-worth, stress
You feel your life must add up to something remarkable. Against that bar, an ordinary good day feels like failing.
Think of something you are putting off because it will not be impressive enough. Do a small, ordinary version of it today.
On the scale of the universe, what you do with your life barely registers. That is a relief. It frees you to do modest things well.
Make Time
Single Model
Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky
Not started
Treat my energy as the base of my focus. Trying to concentrate on an empty battery does not work.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Knapp and Zeratsky say the brain is part of the body, so looking after the body is how you get energy for the things that matter. Their tactics are small: move every day, eat real food, use caffeine on purpose, take quiet breaks, spend time with people face to face, sleep in a dark room. Likely to trip me up: They frame this as living a little more like a prehistoric human. That is a loose image, not science, and they say so. The real risk is trying all the tactics at once and keeping none. (Source: Make Time, Energize section.)
P/PC Balance (The 7 Habits, Stephen Covey): look after the asset. A Tired Brain Has Weak Brakes (Why We Sleep, Matthew Walker): low energy makes every habit harder.
Habits & Behavior Change
Charge the Battery First
Part 'Energize'. Page not verified (Currency, 2018).
Exercise / move daily; Sleep better; Eat healthier; Spend more time outdoors
01; 05; 02; 18
Plan: I will add one energy habit at a time, starting with a daily 20-minute walk. After two weeks I will add the next one and note what changes in my afternoons.
energy, tired, fatigue, focus, exercise, walking, food, caffeine, coffee, sleep, screens, quiet, friends, body, brain, afternoon slump, health, routine, movement, outdoors
You try to fix your focus with apps and techniques while sleeping badly, sitting all day and living on snacks.
Add one thing today: a 20-minute walk, a proper meal, or an earlier phone-off time tonight.
Focus runs on energy, and energy comes from the body. Move, eat real food, sleep, get quiet, and see people in person.
The Richest Man in Babylon
Single Model
George S. Clason
Not started
Keep my next raise instead of spending it. Costs tend to rise to match pay within months.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Arkad's second cure says that necessary expenses grow to equal income unless we protest. He tells his students to budget so that nine tenths covers real needs and the wants that matter most, and to accept that not every desire can be met. Likely to trip me up: Clason's point is that no income is ever enough to satisfy every want, so waiting to earn more will not fix it. The wants grow quietly, one upgrade at a time. (Source: The Richest Man in Babylon, Seven Cures for a Lean Purse, the Second Cure.)
Expectations and Reality (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): the goalpost moves with your income. Man in the Car Paradox (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): much of the extra spending is for show.
Biases & Blind Spots
Expenses Rise to Meet Income
Chapter 'Seven Cures for a Lean Purse', the Second Cure: Control Thy Expenditures. Page not verified. Page numbers differ widely between editions.
Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less
22; 03
Plan: I will write a budget for nine tenths of my income and list my wants in order. When my pay goes up, I will raise my savings first and my spending second.
lifestyle creep, lifestyle inflation, raise, salary, spending, budget, needs, wants, expenses, broke, paycheck, overspending, subscriptions, upgrade, debt, control, money, month end, luxury, habits
Every raise you have had has disappeared. You earn twice what you did and still reach the end of the month with nothing.
Go through last month's spending. Mark each item as need or want, honestly. Pick one want to cut this month.
What you call necessary expenses will always grow to match your income unless you resist. Wants pass themselves off as needs.
The War of Art
Single Model
Steven Pressfield
Not started
Stop being surprised by my own avoidance. I want to expect it every morning and work anyway.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Pressfield says Resistance is universal, impersonal and internal. It shows up for any act that trades short-term comfort for long-term growth: writing, starting a business, a diet, a course of study. Knowing it comes for everyone takes the shame out of it. Likely to trip me up: Pressfield says Resistance never goes away. It has to be beaten fresh each day, and it is strongest near the finish line. Note: Pressfield is a novelist writing from experience. This is a manifesto, not research, and the last third of the book is openly spiritual. (Source: The War of Art, Book One.)
Time Management Is Pain Management (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): avoidance is an escape from discomfort. Process, Not Product (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): start the clock and the dread fades.
Mindset & Emotions
Resistance
Book One, Resistance: Defining the Enemy. The book has no numbered chapters. Page not verified (Black Irish Entertainment paperback, 2012).
Beat procrastination / focus; Exercise / move daily; Learn a skill / upskill
07; 01; 17
Plan: I will fix a daily time for my most important work. When the urge to do something else shows up, I will name it as Resistance, note it, and start.
procrastination, resistance, avoidance, writing, creative, art, business, diet, exercise, fear, self-sabotage, excuses, distraction, start, blocked, writer's block, dream, calling, stuck, delay
You sit down to do the work you care about most, and suddenly the kitchen needs cleaning. It happens every single time.
The next time you catch yourself avoiding your most important work, say 'this is Resistance' and do ten minutes anyway.
Any act that matters to you in the long run will call up an inner force that works to stop you. Name it, and expect it daily.
Same as Ever
Single Model
Morgan Housel
Not started
Build my safety net for the surprise I cannot name, not only the ones I can. My plans assume the future looks like my list.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Housel says we are good at predicting the future except for the surprises, which tend to be all that matter. His advice is to think of risk the way California thinks of earthquakes: it knows one will come without knowing when, so it builds for it. Likely to trip me up: Housel says saving for a risk you cannot picture feels like too much, right up until it is needed. He says the right amount of savings is the amount that feels slightly excessive. (Source: Same as Ever, 'Risk Is What You Don't See'.)
Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, same author): the buffer is for the things you cannot name. Kind and Wicked Learning Environments (Range, David Epstein): in wicked settings the past is a poor guide.
Decision-Making & Risk
Risk Is What You Don't See
Chapter 'Risk Is What You Don't See' (2nd of 23). Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2023).
Build emergency fund / invest; Save money / spend less; Manage stress / anxiety
20; 03; 12
Plan: I will set my emergency fund by how long I could last with no income, not by which events I expect. I will review it once a year and after any big life change.
risk, surprise, uncertainty, forecast, prediction, planning, emergency, savings, insurance, buffer, crisis, job loss, pandemic, shock, unknown, preparation, safety, investing, future, resilience
You plan carefully for the risks you can list. Then something that was on nobody's list knocks you flat.
Look at one plan and ask: if something I have not thought of went wrong, how long could I last? Add to that buffer today.
The biggest risk is the one nobody is talking about, because nobody is prepared for it. Prepare broadly. Do not rely on forecasts.
The Richest Man in Babylon
Single Model
George S. Clason
Not started
Pay off what I owe on a fixed plan, while still saving a little. I want the total to go down every single month.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: In Clason's story, Dabasir the camel trader returns from slavery deep in debt. He keeps one tenth, lives with his wife on seven tenths, and divides two tenths among his creditors. He visits each one to explain the plan. Most accept it, and within about a year the debts are cleared. Likely to trip me up: In the story some creditors are angry and want everything at once, and Dabasir has to hold to the plan anyway. Note: the proportions are a parable's rule of thumb, not financial advice for every situation. High-interest debt may need a faster plan, and the book does not cover that. (Source: The Richest Man in Babylon, 'The Clay Tablets from Babylon'.)
Pay Yourself First (same book): even in debt, the saved tenth comes first. The Domino Effect (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller): small steady payments topple a big total.
Systems & Strategy
The Seven-Tenths Plan
Chapter 'The Clay Tablets from Babylon'. Page not verified. Page numbers differ widely between editions.
Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less; Manage stress / anxiety
22; 03; 12
Plan: I will list all debts, tell each lender my plan, and split twenty percent of my income across them every month. I will save ten percent and live on seventy.
debt, loans, credit card, instalments, creditors, repayment, budget, plan, owe, interest, salary, saving, spending, stress, shame, overdue, bills, money, discipline, fresh start
You owe several people. Each month you pay whoever shouts loudest, save nothing, and the total never seems to fall.
List every debt you have and the total. Work out two tenths of your monthly income and how it would be split across them.
To climb out of debt: keep one tenth for yourself, give two tenths to creditors shared fairly, and live on the other seven tenths.
Same as Ever
Single Model
Morgan Housel
Not started
Get better at explaining ideas, not only at having them. A good model told badly helps nobody.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Housel says most good ideas already exist somewhere in a dull form, and that the person who tells them well gets the reward. He points to Ken Burns, whose Civil War documentary drew huge audiences with facts that were already in the books, and to Martin Luther King Jr. departing from his script for the best-known part of his 1963 speech. Likely to trip me up: Housel warns this cuts both ways. A good story can carry a bad idea just as far, so I need to check whether I am being persuaded by the story or the facts. (Source: Same as Ever, 'Best Story Wins'.)
Talk About What They Want (How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie): start from the listener. What You See Is All There Is (WYSIATI) (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): a neat story feels true.
People & Communication
Best Story Wins
Chapter 'Best Story Wins' (6th of 23). Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2023).
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 17
Plan: For each idea I want to share, I will find one true story that makes the point before I add any explanation. I will test it on one person and watch where they lose interest.
storytelling, story, communication, persuasion, presentation, pitch, writing, marketing, content, youtube, teaching, explain, data, facts, ideas, attention, audience, influence, sales, clarity
You are right and have the data, and you still lose the room to someone with a weaker case and a better story.
Take one idea you need to get across this week. Find one concrete story or example that carries it, and lead with that.
The best story beats the best idea. People do not have time to weigh the facts, so they follow whoever explains them well.
The Richest Man in Babylon
Single Model
George S. Clason
Not started
Save a fixed share of my pay before I see it. Saving what is left over does not work, because nothing is left over.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: In Clason's parable, Arkad learns from the money lender Algamish that a part of all he earns is his to keep, not less than a tenth. Arkad reports that he lived just as well on nine tenths, and soon did not notice the difference. Likely to trip me up: In the story Arkad's first year of savings is lost on a bad investment, and he has to start again. The parable's point is that the habit survives the setback. Note: this is a 1926 book of parables, not research. The ten percent figure is a rule of thumb. (Source: The Richest Man in Babylon, 'The Richest Man in Babylon' and the First Cure.)
Confounding Compounding (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): what the saved tenth becomes over time. Friction (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): make saving automatic and spending it awkward.
Systems & Strategy
Pay Yourself First
Chapter 'The Richest Man in Babylon' and the First Cure in 'Seven Cures for a Lean Purse'. Page not verified. Page numbers differ widely between the many editions of this 1926 book.
Save money / spend less; Build emergency fund / invest
03; 20
Plan: I will set an automatic transfer of ten percent on payday. I will live on the rest and not touch the savings account for a year.
saving, save, salary, payday, budget, ten percent, automatic, transfer, paycheck, spending, broke, month end, wealth, habit, money, first, bills, discipline, future, invest
You plan to save whatever is left at the end of the month. Nothing is ever left.
Work out one tenth of your monthly pay. Set up a transfer for that amount on payday, to an account you do not see every day.
Keep at least a tenth of everything you earn before you pay anyone else. Save first and live on the rest, not the other way round.
Make Time
Single Model
Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky
Not started
Stop being the person who replies in two minutes. It costs the best working hours of the day and nobody asked for it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Knapp and Zeratsky say instant replies feed the Busy Bandwagon, because every fast answer invites another message and sets a standard. They suggest treating messages like letters, dealing with email at the end of the day, and resetting expectations by telling people how to reach you when it is urgent. Likely to trip me up: They admit this feels rude at first and is harder in some jobs. The worry about seeming unresponsive is what keeps people replying fast. (Source: Make Time, Laser section, 'Slow Your Inbox' tactics.)
The Graceful No (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): protect your time without damaging the relationship. Attention Residue (Deep Work, Cal Newport): every quick reply leaves a trace.
Productivity & Focus
Be Slow to Respond
Part 'Laser', the 'Slow Your Inbox' tactics. Page not verified (Currency, 2018).
Limit multitasking / context-switching; Beat procrastination / focus; Manage stress / anxiety
28; 07; 12
Plan: I will check messages at set times, reply in batches at the end of the day, and tell my team that for anything urgent they should call me.
email, slack, messages, whatsapp, replies, instant, response time, expectations, boundaries, interruptions, inbox, notifications, focus, colleagues, boss, clients, always on, busy, reactive, work
You reply to every message within minutes. People now expect it, and you cannot get an hour of unbroken work.
Check email at two set times today. For everything that is not truly urgent, wait until the next slot to reply.
Answering fast trains people to expect it and puts their priorities ahead of yours. Reply slowly on purpose and reset the expectation.
The War of Art
Single Model
Steven Pressfield
Not started
Treat my side project with the same seriousness as my job. I show up at the office whatever my mood. I want to do that here too.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Pressfield says we are already professionals in our day jobs: we show up every day, stay all day, and do not over-identify with the work. Turning pro means applying the same habits to the work we care about. Likely to trip me up: Pressfield says the amateur waits for inspiration and treats the work as a hobby, so it is always the first thing dropped. Without fixed hours, a busy week will push it out. (Source: The War of Art, Book Two.)
Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): act like the person you want to be. Action Comes Before Motivation (Feeling Good, David Burns): do not wait for the mood.
Habits & Behavior Change
Turning Pro
Book Two, Combating Resistance: Turning Pro. Page not verified (Black Irish Entertainment paperback, 2012).
Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill; Exercise / move daily
07; 17; 01
Plan: I will set fixed hours for the project and keep them like office hours. I will judge the day by whether I showed up and stayed, not by how good the output was.
professional, amateur, discipline, consistency, routine, show up, daily, inspiration, motivation, mood, writing, creative, side project, schedule, commitment, habit, work ethic, serious, practice, craft
You work on your project when you feel like it. Some weeks that is five days, most weeks it is none.
Set one fixed daily time for your most important work. Show up at that time today and stay for the full slot, however it goes.
The amateur works when inspired. The professional shows up every day at the same time, whatever the mood, and stays.
Four Thousand Weeks
Single Model
Oliver Burkeman
Not started
Stop believing that the next system will finally get me on top of everything. That day is not coming, and waiting for it delays what matters.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Burkeman says the supply of things to do is effectively infinite, so clearing faster only speeds up the arrival of more. He says the way out is to stop trying to clear the decks and to tolerate the discomfort of things left undone. Likely to trip me up: Burkeman says the urge to clear the decks is really an attempt to avoid the anxiety of choosing. Sitting with that anxiety is the hard part, and it does not go away. Note: this book is philosophy built on a few studies and the author's experience, not a tested method. (Source: Four Thousand Weeks, Ch. 2.)
Less but Better (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): the answer is choosing, not speed. Change Your Defaults (Make Time, Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky): the culture of instant response feeds the trap.
Productivity & Focus
The Efficiency Trap
Ch. 2, The Efficiency Trap. Starts on p. 37 (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, first edition, 2021).
Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety; Be more punctual / manage time
13; 12; 23
Plan: For one month I will decide each morning what I will deliberately not get to, and let it pile up without guilt. I will spend the freed attention on one thing that matters.
busy, efficiency, productivity, email, inbox zero, overwhelmed, to-do, list, hustle, burnout, never enough, time, speed, tasks, work, stress, behind, optimise, optimize, limits
You adopt a new productivity system, clear more than ever, and somehow feel busier and further behind.
Pick one stream of demands, like email. Stop trying to clear it today. Do the two things in it that matter and let the rest sit.
Getting faster at your work does not give you free time. It attracts more work. The inbox you clear fastest fills fastest.
The Richest Man in Babylon
Single Model
George S. Clason
Not started
Stop losing good opportunities to 'I will think about it'. Most missed chances are not bad luck. They are delay.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: In this chapter, men at Babylon's Temple of Learning tell stories of lost luck. Each turns out to be a good opportunity that the man delayed on until it passed. The group concludes that good luck can be enticed by accepting opportunity, and that people of action are the ones it favours. Likely to trip me up: The chapter names the enemy directly: the habit of procrastination, which one speaker says is within all of us. It also says gambling is not the kind of luck it means. Acting fast on a bad deal is not what the chapter praises. (Source: The Richest Man in Babylon, 'Meet the Goddess of Good Luck'.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the first step small enough to take now. Resistance (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): the delay is rarely about needing more time.
Decision-Making & Risk
Good Luck Follows Action
Chapter 'Meet the Goddess of Good Luck'. Page not verified. Page numbers differ widely between editions.
Beat procrastination / focus; Build emergency fund / invest; Stop overthinking / rumination
07; 20; 15
Plan: When a real opportunity appears, I will set a short deadline for the decision and take the first step the same day I decide.
luck, opportunity, procrastination, delay, hesitation, regret, missed, chance, action, decision, timing, investing, business, job, application, fear, overthinking, prompt, start, initiative
You spot a good opportunity, decide to think about it, and come back a week later to find it gone. You call it bad luck.
Think of one opportunity you are sitting on right now. Take the first concrete step on it today, even a small one.
Most 'bad luck' is a good chance that was seen and put off. Opportunity rewards the person who acts on it promptly.
Four Thousand Weeks
Single Model
Oliver Burkeman
Not started
Get one part of my week back from self-improvement. I want something I do badly and enjoy anyway.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Burkeman borrows the philosopher Kieran Setiya's term atelic for activities whose value is not in reaching an end point. He says a good hobby should feel a little embarrassing, because that shows you are doing it for itself and not for an outcome. Likely to trip me up: Burkeman says people who are used to using time well find real rest uncomfortable at first. It can feel like wasting time, and the urge to turn it into a project is strong. (Source: Four Thousand Weeks, Ch. 9.)
Fill the Void First (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): fill free time with something real. P/PC Balance (The 7 Habits, Stephen Covey): renewal is part of the work.
Mindset & Emotions
Do Things for Their Own Sake
Ch. 9, Rediscovering Rest. Starts on p. 141 (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, first edition, 2021).
Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety; Spend more time outdoors; Spend time with family/friends
04; 12; 18; 14
Plan: I will pick one hobby with no goal attached and give it one fixed slot a week. I will not track it, share it, or try to make it useful.
rest, leisure, hobby, hobbies, free time, weekend, guilt, relax, burnout, productivity, walking, hiking, play, fun, enjoyment, purpose, goals, tracking, pressure, mediocre
Even your free time has targets. You run to hit a pace, read to finish a list, and rest only to work better tomorrow.
Spend 30 minutes today on something you enjoy and are under no pressure to get good at. No tracking, no posting, no purpose.
Some activities have no goal beyond themselves: a walk, a hobby, time with friends. Rest only works if it is not for anything.
Four Thousand Weeks
Single Model
Oliver Burkeman
Not started
Finish things instead of keeping ten projects half alive. I need a hard limit on what I am allowed to have open.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Burkeman gives three principles: pay yourself first with time, limit your work in progress to about three items, and resist the pull of middling priorities. He says a hard limit forces you to finish or consciously drop things. Likely to trip me up: Burkeman says the dangerous items are not the obviously unimportant ones. They are the fairly interesting ones, the second-tier goals, because they are attractive enough to steal time from the few that matter most. (Source: Four Thousand Weeks, Ch. 4.)
The Focusing Question (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller): pick the one that moves the rest. Creative Procrastination (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): put off the low-value things deliberately.
Productivity & Focus
Become a Better Procrastinator
Ch. 4, Becoming a Better Procrastinator. Starts on p. 71 (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, first edition, 2021).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Limit multitasking / context-switching
07; 13; 28
Plan: I will cap myself at three active projects. A new one can only start when one of the three is finished or deliberately dropped. I will also do my most important work first in the day, before anything else gets my time.
procrastination, priorities, guilt, projects, unfinished, work in progress, too many, focus, limit, choose, neglect, time, busy, overwhelmed, to-do, list, side projects, hobbies, goals, finish
You feel guilty about everything you are not doing, so you start ten things and keep all of them half alive.
Write down everything you have in progress. Pick three. Put the rest on a waiting list and do not touch them until one of the three is finished.
You will always be neglecting something. The skill is choosing on purpose what to neglect, so the important things get done.
The War of Art
Single Model
Steven Pressfield
Not started
Make videos from what I find worth making, not from what I guess will rank. I want the work to hold me up on days the numbers do not.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Pressfield says a territory, like a gym for a bodybuilder or a desk for a writer, gives back energy in exchange for work put in, and can only be claimed by doing the work. He says someone who works from hierarchy looks up and down the ladder and ends up a hack, writing what he thinks the market wants. Likely to trip me up: Pressfield says hierarchy is the default, from school onward, and it works fine in small groups. Online there are too many people to rank against, and the numbers are always on screen. (Source: The War of Art, Book Three.)
Man in the Car Paradox (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): the audience is not watching you as closely as you think. The Manipulation Matrix (Hooked, Nir Eyal): make what you would use yourself.
Mindset & Emotions
Territory, Not Hierarchy
Book Three, Beyond Resistance: The Higher Realm, the sections on territory and hierarchy. Page not verified (Black Irish Entertainment paperback, 2012).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier
26; 27; 04
Plan: I will do my creative hour before I look at any analytics. Once a month I will check whether I am still making what I would make with no audience.
comparison, status, ranking, likes, views, followers, validation, approval, peers, competition, envy, social media, creative, art, work, identity, hack, audience, intrinsic, motivation
You check views, likes and what your peers are doing before you decide what to make. Your work slowly turns into what you think will rank.
Ask of your main project: if nobody ever saw this or rewarded it, would I still do it? If yes, do an hour of it today before looking at any numbers.
Define yourself by your rank among others or by the work itself. The test: would you still do it if nobody would ever see it?
Four Thousand Weeks
Single Model
Oliver Burkeman
Not started
Stay with my channel past the stage where my videos look like everyone else's. Switching format every month restarts the clock.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Burkeman retells the photographer Arno Minkkinen's bus station story. All the routes out of the station share the same first stops, so early work looks derivative. The routes only split later, so the answer is to stay on the bus. He adds two more principles of patience: get used to having problems, and work in small daily amounts. Likely to trip me up: Burkeman says impatience feels like ambition. Getting off and starting again feels like progress, which is exactly why people keep doing it. (Source: Four Thousand Weeks, Ch. 11.)
The Sampling Period (Range, David Epstein): the opposite advice, and both are right at different stages. Confounding Compounding (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): the payoff sits at the far end.
Creativity & Ideas
Stay on the Bus
Ch. 11, Staying on the Bus. Starts on p. 173 (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, first edition, 2021).
Learn a skill / upskill; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 26; 27
Plan: I will commit to one format for a fixed number of videos before I allow myself to change direction. When I feel the urge to restart, I will note it and keep going.
patience, originality, creative, creativity, quitting, switching, restart, channel, youtube, writing, art, photography, comparison, copy, beginner, slow, progress, persistence, long term, impatience
Three months into a project, your work looks like a copy of someone better. You quit and start something new, and the same thing happens again.
Name one project you have restarted or switched more than once. Decide to stay on it for a fixed, longer period before you judge it.
Early work always looks like everyone else's. Originality comes to those who stay on the same route long enough to get past that.
The ONE Thing
Single Model
Gary Keller with Jay Papasan
Not started
Stop juggling tasks at work. I want to find out how much faster I am with one thing at a time.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Keller cites research by Clifford Nass, who found heavy multitaskers were worse at filtering out irrelevant information, and studies showing task switching adds time and errors. He says you can do two things at once but cannot focus on two things at once. Likely to trip me up: Keller says multitasking feels productive and is praised at work, so people list it as a skill. In an office full of interruptions, doing one thing will look like being slow. (Source: The ONE Thing, Ch. 5.)
Attention Residue (Deep Work, Cal Newport): what a switch leaves behind. Is This Trigger Serving Me? (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): cut the pings that cause the switching.
Productivity & Focus
Multitasking Is a Lie
Ch. 5, Multitasking. Starts on p. 43 (Bard Press, 2013).
Limit multitasking / context-switching; Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised
28; 07; 13
Plan: For two weeks I will work in single-task blocks with everything else closed, and keep a rough note of what I finish. I will compare it with a normal week.
multitasking, multitask, switching, tabs, distracted, distraction, focus, busy, meetings, messages, email, phone, driving, mistakes, errors, efficiency, attention, scattered, juggling, overloaded
You answer messages in meetings and write with ten tabs open. You feel busy all day and get little done.
Pick one hour today for one task only. One window, phone away. See how far you get compared with a normal hour.
You cannot do two things that need attention at once. You switch back and forth, and every switch costs time and mistakes.
Hooked
Single Model
Nir Eyal with Ryan Hoover
Not started
Understand exactly how my most-used app hooks me, so I can break one link in the chain.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Eyal says the hook works by linking a product to an internal trigger, usually a negative feeling like boredom or loneliness, until the user acts with no prompt at all. Seeing the steps makes each one something I can change. Likely to trip me up: Eyal says once a product is tied to an internal trigger, removing notifications is not enough, because the feeling itself is now the cue. Note: this is a product-design framework that Eyal built from research and case studies. It is a model, not a tested theory. (Source: Hooked, Introduction and Ch. 1.)
The Habit Loop (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): the same loop, seen from the user's side. Is This Trigger Serving Me? (Indistractable, same author): how to take the loop apart.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Hook Model
Introduction (starts on p. 1) and Ch. 1, The Habit Zone (starts on p. 15) (Penguin paperback, ISBN 9780241184837).
Cut phone / social-media use; Beat procrastination / focus; Limit multitasking / context-switching
06; 07; 28
Plan: I will map the four steps for my top two apps. Then I will remove the easiest link for each, usually the external trigger, and see what happens to my use over two weeks.
apps, phone, addiction, scrolling, social media, instagram, youtube, notifications, habit, design, hooked, engagement, product, startup, creator, audience, retention, trigger, reward, attention
You open the same app dozens of times a day and cannot say why. It feels like a personal weakness. It was designed.
Pick the app you open most. Write down its four steps for you: what triggers you, what you do, what you get, and what you put in.
Habit-forming products run you through a loop: trigger, action, variable reward, investment. Each pass makes the next one more likely.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Single Model
Stephen R. Covey
Not started
Get clear on what I want my work to add up to, so I stop saying yes to things that lead nowhere.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Covey says a personal mission statement works like a constitution. Once it is written, daily choices can be checked against it. Likely to trip me up: Covey says a mission statement is not written in one night. It takes deep thought and many rewrites, and one written to impress others will not guide anything. (Source: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Habit 2.)
Values Are Directions (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): know the direction before you set goals. A Why to Live For (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): purpose first.
Systems & Strategy
Begin with the End in Mind
Habit 2, Begin with the End in Mind. Starts on p. 95 (Simon & Schuster UK paperback, ISBN 9781416502494).
Be more productive / organised; Journal / self-reflect; Improve mental health / be happier
13; 24; 04
Plan: I will do the funeral exercise, then write a short personal mission statement from it. I will reread it every Sunday before planning the week.
purpose, goals, direction, mission, values, vision, planning, career, life, priorities, busy, drifting, lost, meaning, future, legacy, decisions, regret, focus, success
You are busy climbing the ladder, and only later find it was leaning against the wrong wall.
Imagine people speaking about you at your own funeral: a family member, a friend, a colleague. Write two lines each of what you would want them to say.
Decide what you want the end result to be before you start. Everything is created twice: first in the mind, then in reality.
Essentialism
Single Model
Greg McKeown
Not started
Make peace with not doing everything. I want to choose my trade-offs on purpose and stop pretending they do not exist.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: McKeown uses Southwest Airlines, which chose cheap point-to-point flights and gave up meals, seat classes and hubs. A rival that tried to keep both strategies lost heavily. He says trade-offs are not something to ignore but something to make deliberately. Likely to trip me up: McKeown says the non-essentialist asks 'how can I do both?' That question feels ambitious and positive, which is why people keep asking it. (Source: Essentialism, Ch. 4.)
The Cost Is Measured in Life (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): every yes is paid for in hours. Loss Aversion (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): why giving anything up feels so hard.
Decision-Making & Risk
Trade-Offs (Which Problem Do I Want?)
Ch. 4, Trade-Off: Which Problem Do I Want? Page not verified (Crown Business, 2014).
Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety; Spend time with family/friends
13; 12; 14
Plan: When a new opportunity comes up, I will write down what I would have to give up to do it well. If I would not make that swap, the answer is no.
trade-off, choices, decisions, yes, no, guilt, balance, work life balance, priorities, sacrifice, opportunity cost, career, family, overcommitted, fomo, regret, focus, strategy, limits, time
You try to fit everything in: the promotion, every family event, the side project, the gym. You do all of them badly and feel guilty about each.
For one decision you are stuck on, stop asking 'how can I do both?' Write down what each choice would cost you, and pick the cost you prefer.
You cannot have it all. Saying yes to one thing is saying no to several others. Ask which problem you want, not how to do both.
Hooked
Single Model
Nir Eyal with Ryan Hoover
Not started
Hold my own content to a standard. I want viewers to be better off for the time they give me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Eyal's four boxes are the facilitator (improves lives and uses it himself), the peddler (believes it helps but does not use it), the entertainer (uses it but it does not improve lives) and the dealer (neither). He says facilitators have the best odds of success because they understand their users. Likely to trip me up: Eyal admits it is easy to fool yourself about whether something really improves lives. Growth numbers make the question feel unnecessary. (Source: Hooked, Ch. 6.)
The Craftsman Approach to Tools (Deep Work, Cal Newport): the user's version of the same test. Talk About What They Want (How to Win Friends, Dale Carnegie): influence that serves both sides.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Manipulation Matrix
Ch. 6, What Are You Going to Do with This? Starts on p. 163 (Penguin paperback, ISBN 9780241184837).
Cut phone / social-media use
06
Plan: Before I publish each piece, I will ask the two questions: does this materially improve the viewer's life, and would I watch it myself? If either answer is no, I will rework it.
ethics, manipulation, persuasion, marketing, content, creator, youtube, audience, clickbait, product, startup, business, trust, value, attention, responsibility, honest, growth, engagement, design
You make content or products to grab attention, and you have never asked if the people giving you that attention are better off.
For one thing you make or sell, answer both questions honestly. Write down which of the four boxes you are in.
Two questions for anyone who builds habits in others: does it materially improve their lives, and would I use it myself?
Getting Things Done
Single Model
David Allen
Not started
Unstick the items that have sat on my list for weeks. They are not hard. They are just undefined.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Allen says most to-do lists are lists of undone 'stuff', not actions, and that deciding the next action is what turns worry into movement. He says asking 'what is the next action?' at the end of meetings changes how a whole team works. Likely to trip me up: Allen says the thinking takes effort, a few seconds per item, and people avoid it for exactly the items that bother them most. He says bright, sensitive people procrastinate the most, because they picture everything that could go wrong. (Source: Getting Things Done, Ch. 12.)
One Oil Barrel at a Time (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): only the next step needs to be visible. Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the first move tiny.
Productivity & Focus
What Is the Next Action?
Ch. 12, The Power of the Next-Action Decision. Page not verified (Penguin Books, revised edition, 2015).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety
07; 13; 12
Plan: In my weekly review I will go through every project and make sure it has one written next action that starts with a verb. At the end of every meeting I will ask what the next action is and who has it.
procrastination, stuck, vague, projects, tasks, to-do, list, overwhelmed, start, action, planning, taxes, paperwork, admin, avoidance, clarity, decision, meetings, follow up, progress
'Sort out taxes' has been on your list for a month. You look at it, feel tired, and skip it, because it does not say what to do.
Take the most stuck item on your list. Rewrite it as the very next physical thing to do, like 'call the accountant for the form'.
A project cannot be done, only the next physical action can. Decide that action and the thing starts moving.
The ONE Thing
Single Model
Gary Keller with Jay Papasan
Not started
Connect my long-term goal to what I do this morning. Without the chain, today gets spent on whatever is loudest.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Keller says connecting today to all your tomorrows is how you stay on the path. He points to research on present bias, where people pick a smaller reward now over a larger one later, and says a chain of nearer goals brings the future reward closer. Likely to trip me up: Keller says most people never write the chain down, and that a goal in the head fades next to the day's demands. (Source: The ONE Thing, Ch. 14.)
Begin with the End in Mind (The 7 Habits, Stephen Covey): start from the far end. Script the Critical Moves (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): end with one clear action.
Productivity & Focus
Goal Setting to the Now
Ch. 14, Live by Priority. Starts on p. 146 (Bard Press, 2013).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Save money / spend less; Build emergency fund / invest
13; 07; 03; 20
Plan: I will write the full chain once, and review it each Sunday. Each morning I will check that today's one thing is a link in it.
goals, goal setting, long term, planning, future, vision, dreams, someday, today, priorities, steps, year, month, week, direction, career, saving, fitness, delay, focus
Your big goal lives on a vision board. Your day is run by your inbox. Nothing connects the two.
Write your someday goal. Under it, write what you must do in five years to be on track, then this year, this month, this week, and today.
Work back from the someday goal to five years, one year, this month, this week, today and right now. Each step answers the next.
Getting Things Done
Single Model
David Allen
Not started
Keep my system alive past the first month. One fixed hour a week is cheaper than rebuilding it every quarter.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Allen calls the weekly review the critical success factor of the method. It is what lets the mind trust the lists for the following week. He suggests the last workday afternoon, while the week is still fresh. Likely to trip me up: Allen says this is the habit most people let slide, because in a busy week it is the first hour to go, and that is exactly the week it is most needed. (Source: Getting Things Done, Ch. 8.)
Quadrant II (The 7 Habits, Stephen Covey): weekly planning is where the important gets scheduled. Shutdown Ritual (Deep Work, Cal Newport): the daily version of the same reset.
Productivity & Focus
The Weekly Review
Ch. 8, Reflecting: Keeping It All Fresh and Functional. Page not verified (Penguin Books, revised edition, 2015). In the 2001 edition Ch. 8 is called 'Reviewing'.
Be more productive / organised; Journal / self-reflect; Be more punctual / manage time; Manage stress / anxiety
13; 24; 23; 12
Plan: I will block the same hour every Friday afternoon. Get clear: empty inboxes and my head. Get current: review lists and calendar. Get creative: look at someday ideas.
review, weekly, planning, reset, organised, organized, system, lists, calendar, projects, reflection, journal, overwhelmed, control, routine, sunday, friday, priorities, habit, clarity
You set up a nice system in January. By March the lists are stale, you have stopped looking at them, and your head has taken over again.
Block one hour this week. Collect loose papers and notes, review your calendar two weeks back and ahead, and check every project has a next action.
Once a week, empty your head, go through every list and project, and get current. It is what keeps the whole system trustworthy.
Essentialism
Single Model
Greg McKeown
Not started
Drop one commitment I am only keeping because of what I have already spent on it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: McKeown draws on research into sunk-cost bias and the endowment effect, where people value things more just because they own them. His tools include zero-based thinking, the reverse pilot, and asking a neutral person. Likely to trip me up: McKeown says admitting a mistake feels like failure, so people keep investing to avoid that feeling. He says we should only be ashamed of refusing to admit it. (Source: Essentialism, Ch. 12.)
Match Quality (Range, David Epstein): quitting a bad fit is smart. Loss Aversion (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): the pain of loss keeps us in.
Biases & Blind Spots
Uncommit (Cut Your Losses)
Ch. 12, Uncommit: Win Big by Cutting Your Losses. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2014).
Reduce debt / control spending; Be more productive / organised; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
22; 13; 27
Plan: I will review my commitments and subscriptions once a quarter with a zero-based question: if I were starting fresh today, would I sign up for this? For anything unsure, I will run a reverse pilot: quietly stop and see if anyone notices.
sunk cost, quit, quitting, stuck, commitment, projects, course, degree, subscription, gym membership, waste, regret, stubborn, pride, investment, stop, exit, clutter, change, decision
You keep going with a project, a course or a purchase because you have already spent so much on it, not because it is working.
Pick one commitment that drags. Ask: if I did not already own or do this, how much would I pay or work to get it now? If the answer is nothing, plan your exit.
What you have already put in is gone either way. Ask: if I were not already in this, how hard would I work to get in?
Getting Things Done
Single Model
David Allen
Not started
Plan my next big project without getting lost in details on day one. Purpose first, steps last.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Allen says the mind goes through these five steps naturally for simple things like going out to dinner. For work projects people do the reverse. They start with 'who has a good idea?' before purpose and vision are clear. Likely to trip me up: Allen says the 'why' question is the one people skip because it seems obvious. If a project feels stuck or people are arguing, the fix is to go back up a level, not to push harder on actions. (Source: Getting Things Done, Ch. 3.)
Begin with the End in Mind (The 7 Habits, Stephen Covey): picture the outcome before the first step. Metalearning (Ultralearning, Scott Young): map it before you start.
Systems & Strategy
The Natural Planning Model
Ch. 3, Getting Projects Creatively Under Way: The Five Phases of Project Planning. Page not verified (Penguin Books, revised edition, 2015).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 07; 17
Plan: For each new project I will write five short sections in order: purpose and principles, what success looks like, a messy brainstorm, the organised pieces, and the next action.
planning, projects, meetings, brainstorm, purpose, vision, outcome, goals, confusion, team, organise, organize, steps, strategy, clarity, stuck, direction, ideas, launch, event
Project meetings jump straight to 'so what should we do?' People argue over ideas because nobody agreed what the point was.
For one fuzzy project, write one line for why you are doing it and one line for what done looks like. Only then list ideas.
Plan projects the way your mind already plans dinner: purpose, picture of success, brainstorm, organise, next action.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Single Model
Stephen R. Covey
Not started
Get exercise and learning into my week before the urgent stuff fills it. They never shout, so they never get done.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Covey says effective people stay out of Quadrants III and IV and spend more time in Quadrant II, which shrinks the crises in Quadrant I over time. His tool is weekly planning, not daily. Likely to trip me up: Covey says the only place to get time for Quadrant II is from III and IV, which means saying no to things that feel urgent and to people who expect a yes. Note: the urgent-important grid is often credited to Eisenhower. Covey popularised it. (Source: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Habit 3.)
The ABCDE Method (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): sort by consequences. Schedule Every Minute (Deep Work, Cal Newport): give the important block a fixed slot.
Productivity & Focus
Quadrant II (Important, Not Urgent)
Habit 3, Put First Things First. Starts on p. 145 (Simon & Schuster UK paperback, ISBN 9781416502494).
Be more punctual / manage time; Be more productive / organised; Exercise / move daily; Spend time with family/friends
23; 13; 01; 14
Plan: Every Sunday I will plan the week by role, such as worker, family member, learner, and put one important-not-urgent block for each into the calendar first. Everything else fits around them.
time, time management, urgent, important, priorities, busy, firefighting, deadlines, planning, schedule, week, overwhelmed, stress, late, procrastination, exercise, family, health, email, meetings
Your days are full of urgent things. The important ones, exercise, learning, the people you love, keep waiting for a free week that never comes.
List this week's tasks in four boxes: urgent and important, important not urgent, urgent not important, neither. Schedule one item from the second box first.
Sort tasks by urgent and important. The things that matter most, planning, health, relationships, are important but never urgent.
Getting Things Done
Single Model
David Allen
Not started
Keep small tasks from piling up. A hundred two-minute jobs left undone feel like one big dread.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Allen's reasoning is about efficiency: two minutes is roughly the point where storing and tracking an item takes longer than doing it the first time it is in your hands. Likely to trip me up: Allen applies the rule while clarifying your inbox, not all day long. Used as a general rule, it turns into permission to do easy little things in place of the important one. (Source: Getting Things Done, Ch. 6.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): same name, different idea. Clear's is about starting a habit small. Open Loops (same book): small undone things drain the most.
Productivity & Focus
The Two-Minute Rule (Do It Now)
Ch. 6, Clarifying: Getting 'In' to Empty. Page not verified (Penguin Books, revised edition, 2015). In the 2001 edition Ch. 6 is called 'Processing'.
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Be more punctual / manage time
13; 07; 23
Plan: When I process my inbox or notes, I will do every under-two-minute item immediately, and only in those processing sessions. I will not let it interrupt focused work.
email, inbox, small tasks, quick, admin, replies, messages, clutter, backlog, pile, chores, errands, procrastination, tidy, organised, organized, efficient, now, later, overwhelmed
Tiny tasks, a reply, a form, a call, pile up into a mountain that feels heavier than the big work.
Go through your inbox for 20 minutes. Anything that takes under two minutes, do on the spot. Everything else, leave for later.
If an action takes less than two minutes, do it the moment you look at it. Tracking it would take longer than doing it.
The ONE Thing
Single Model
Gary Keller with Jay Papasan
Not started
Break my biggest goal into a line of dominoes and only look at the first one.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Keller cites a physicist's demonstration that a domino can knock over another one about 50 percent larger. Starting from a two-inch domino, the 23rd would be taller than the Eiffel Tower. His point is that results build in sequence. Likely to trip me up: Keller says life does not line the dominoes up for us. The work is in finding the lead domino each day, and it is tempting to push on several small ones instead. (Source: The ONE Thing, Ch. 2.)
One Oil Barrel at a Time (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): reach the next marker. Confounding Compounding (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): small things multiplied over time get huge.
Systems & Strategy
The Domino Effect
Ch. 2, The Domino Effect. Page not verified (Bard Press, 2013).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Save money / spend less
07; 13; 03
Plan: I will write the chain from the goal back to today. Each week I will work on the one domino that is currently standing at the front.
goals, big goals, momentum, start, small, sequence, steps, overwhelmed, progress, compounding, patience, long term, business, career, saving, fitness, focus, first step, planning, growth
You look at the huge goal and try to push on everything at once. Nothing falls.
For one big goal, write the chain backwards: what has to fall just before the goal, and before that? Find the first small domino and push it today.
Success is sequential, not simultaneous. One small, well-chosen action knocks over a slightly bigger one, and so on.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Single Model
Stephen R. Covey
Not started
Stop trading my health for output. A body run without maintenance stops producing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Covey uses Aesop's goose and the golden eggs. Effectiveness is the balance between production (P) and production capability (PC). Habit 7 applies it to yourself in four areas: physical, mental, social and emotional, and spiritual. Likely to trip me up: Covey says renewal is a Quadrant II activity. It is important and never urgent, so it is the first thing dropped when I am busy, which is exactly when it matters. (Source: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Seven Habits: An Overview, and Habit 7.)
A Tired Brain Has Weak Brakes (Why We Sleep, Matthew Walker): the body is the asset. Keystone Habits (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): upkeep habits lift everything else.
Systems & Strategy
P/PC Balance (Sharpen the Saw)
The Seven Habits: An Overview (starts on p. 46), and Habit 7, Sharpen the Saw (starts on p. 287) (Simon & Schuster UK paperback, ISBN 9781416502494).
Exercise / move daily; Sleep better; Manage stress / anxiety; Learn a skill / upskill
01; 05; 12; 17
Plan: I will block one hour a day for renewal across the week: body, mind, relationships and something that gives me meaning. I will treat that hour as production, not as time off.
burnout, overwork, tired, exhausted, health, exercise, sleep, rest, balance, maintenance, renewal, energy, productivity, skills, learning, self-care, busy, long term, recovery, stress
You push for output every day and skip sleep, exercise and learning. For a while it works. Then your health, skills or team break down.
Name one thing that produces results for you: your body, a skill, a relationship, a machine. Spend 30 minutes today maintaining it.
Look after the thing that produces the results, not just the results. Kill the goose and the golden eggs stop.
Hooked
Single Model
Nir Eyal with Ryan Hoover
Not started
Turn my evening walk from a vitamin into a painkiller. I want it to be the thing I reach for when I feel tense.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Eyal says a habit forms when a behaviour happens often enough and is seen as useful enough, which he calls the Habit Zone. Once formed, not doing it feels like an itch, so the former vitamin now works like a painkiller. Likely to trip me up: Eyal says behaviours that happen rarely almost never become habits, however valuable they are. A walk twice a week will stay a vitamin. (Source: Hooked, Ch. 1.)
Rewards Must Be Immediate (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): the brain learns from what it feels now. Time Management Is Pain Management (Indistractable, same author): we act to relieve discomfort.
Systems & Strategy
Vitamins and Painkillers
Ch. 1, The Habit Zone. Starts on p. 15 (Penguin paperback, ISBN 9780241184837).
Exercise / move daily; Manage stress / anxiety; Meditate / mindfulness
01; 12; 21
Plan: I will link the walk to a daily discomfort, the stiff, wired feeling after work, and take it at that exact moment every day until the feeling itself sends me out the door.
habit, motivation, need, want, itch, discomfort, relief, vitamins, painkillers, product, startup, business, customers, frequency, daily, stick, engagement, craving, routine, useful
You cannot tell why some things you should do never stick while some useless apps feel impossible to skip.
Pick one good habit you want. Ask what itch it could scratch for you every day, not what benefit it brings in a year.
Painkillers fix an obvious ache, vitamins are nice to have. Habit-forming things start as vitamins and become painkillers.
Essentialism
Single Model
Greg McKeown
Not started
Stop filling my time with 'pretty good' commitments. I want room for the great ones.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: McKeown says extreme criteria save you from being stuck with a 60 or 70. He credits Derek Sivers for the idea that if the answer is not a definite yes, it should be a no. Likely to trip me up: McKeown admits this means turning down good options, and sometimes you will be wrong to. The fear of missing out is what keeps people at broad criteria. (Source: Essentialism, Ch. 9.)
Creative Procrastination (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): deliberately drop the merely good. Enough (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): know your line before the offers come.
Decision-Making & Risk
The 90 Percent Rule
Ch. 9, Select: The Power of Extreme Criteria. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2014).
Be more productive / organised; Reduce debt / control spending; Be more punctual / manage time
13; 22; 23
Plan: For any new commitment I will write one criterion, score the option, and treat anything under 90 as a no. I will apply the same test to things I am thinking of buying.
decisions, yes, no, opportunities, criteria, standards, good enough, fomo, overcommitted, invitations, projects, job offers, shopping, wardrobe, clutter, selective, choose, priorities, regret, focus
You say yes to things that are 'pretty good'. They fill your calendar, and when the great one arrives, you have no room.
For the next request or opportunity, give it a score out of 100 on the one thing that matters most. If it is below 90, decline.
Score an option from 0 to 100 on your most important criterion. Anything under 90 is a zero. If it is not a clear yes, it is a no.
Essentialism
Single Model
Greg McKeown
Not started
Say no at work without damaging the relationship. An automatic yes costs the best hours of the week.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: McKeown offers a repertoire of ways to decline, including the awkward pause, the soft 'no, but', asking your manager what to deprioritise, and suggesting someone else. He says people respect a clear no more than a vague yes. Likely to trip me up: McKeown says saying no often means trading popularity for respect, and the discomfort is short while the regret of a wrong yes lasts. In the moment, the short discomfort feels bigger. (Source: Essentialism, Ch. 11.)
Requests, Not Demands (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): a real request allows a no. Start With No (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): no is where an honest conversation begins.
People & Communication
The Graceful No
Ch. 11, Dare: The Power of a Graceful 'No'. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2014).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 13; 12
Plan: I will prepare three polite no's in advance, such as a pause, 'I would love to but I am overcommitted', and 'yes, what should I drop to make room?'. I will use one each time I would have said an automatic yes.
no, saying no, people pleasing, boundaries, guilt, requests, favours, favors, boss, colleagues, friends, family, overcommitted, awkward, assertive, respect, pressure, yes, resentment, time
You say yes to avoid an awkward minute, and pay for it with days or weeks of work you resent.
The next time someone asks for your time, do not answer on the spot. Say 'let me check my calendar and get back to you', then decide calmly.
Separate the decision from the relationship. You can turn down the request clearly and kindly without turning down the person.
The ONE Thing
Single Model
Gary Keller with Jay Papasan
Not started
Build one habit properly before I add another. Four at once rarely works for anyone.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Keller says success is about doing the right thing, not everything right, and that discipline is only needed until the habit takes over. He cites the University College London study where habits took 66 days on average to form, with a wide range from 18 to 254 days. Likely to trip me up: Keller says people quit at three weeks because of the 21-day myth. Sixty-six is an average, so a hard habit may take much longer. Note: the next chapter of this book treats willpower as a fuel tank that runs down, an idea that has not held up well in replications. I have left that model out. (Source: The ONE Thing, Ch. 6.)
Keystone Habits (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): choose the one that lifts the others. Stress Makes You Habitual (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): once it is a habit, it survives bad weeks.
Habits & Behavior Change
Selected Discipline (One Habit at a Time)
Ch. 6, A Disciplined Life. Starts on p. 54 (Bard Press, 2013).
Exercise / move daily; Eat healthier; Read / learn more; Meditate / mindfulness
01; 02; 09; 21
Plan: I will pick one habit, mark off 66 days, and give it my full discipline. Only when it feels automatic will I choose the next one.
discipline, willpower, habits, new year, resolutions, routine, consistency, 66 days, 21 days, lazy, motivation, overhaul, change, one habit, focus, patience, streak, calendar, commitment, self-control
You try to overhaul everything on January 1: diet, gym, reading, sleep. By February all four are gone.
Choose the one habit that matters most right now. Mark 66 days on a calendar and commit your discipline to only that.
You do not need a disciplined life. You need enough discipline to build one habit, for about 66 days, and then it runs itself.
Getting Things Done
Single Model
David Allen
Not started
Stop carrying my to-do list in my head. I want to trust a list enough that my brain lets go.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Allen calls unfinished commitments open loops and says they pull at attention until they are captured in a system you trust. In the revised edition he cites research showing that simply making a concrete plan for an unfinished goal stops it from intruding on your thoughts. Likely to trip me up: Allen says the system only works if you capture everything and review it regularly. The moment the brain stops trusting the list, it takes the job back. (Source: Getting Things Done, Ch. 1, Ch. 5 and Ch. 14.)
Shutdown Ritual (Deep Work, Cal Newport): close the loops so the evening is free. Do Not Picture Your Whole Life at Once (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): get the pile out of your head.
Productivity & Focus
Open Loops (Capture Everything)
Ch. 1, A New Practice for a New Reality, and Ch. 5, Capturing: Corralling Your 'Stuff'. Page not verified (Penguin Books, revised edition, 2015). Chapter numbers match the 2001 edition, where Ch. 5 is called 'Collection'.
Manage stress / anxiety; Be more productive / organised; Sleep better; Stop overthinking / rumination
12; 13; 05; 15
Plan: I will keep one capture tool on me at all times and write down every commitment the moment it shows up. Once a day I will empty it into my lists.
overwhelmed, stress, forget, forgetting, to-do, list, tasks, mental load, worry, night, sleep, organised, organized, clutter, inbox, notes, capture, anxious, busy, mind
You remember the dentist at 2 am and the report in the shower. Your head is full, and you still forget things.
Take 15 minutes and write down every single thing on your mind, big or small, work or home, in one list. Do not sort it yet.
The head is a bad place to store to-dos. Every unfinished thing you keep there nags you until it sits in a system you trust.
Hooked
Single Model
Nir Eyal with Ryan Hoover
Not started
Stop the 'just one more' scroll at night. I want to see the slot machine for what it is.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Eyal describes three kinds of variable reward: the tribe (social approval), the hunt (information and resources), and the self (mastery and completion). He traces the idea to B.F. Skinner's experiments, where animals pressed a lever far more when the payout was unpredictable. Likely to trip me up: Eyal says variability multiplies the effect of the reward and creates a focused state that suppresses judgement. In the moment, I will not feel like I am choosing. (Source: Hooked, Ch. 4.)
Cravings Drive the Loop (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): the craving is for the anticipation. Embrace Boredom (Deep Work, Cal Newport): train the brain to live without the next hit.
Habits & Behavior Change
Variable Reward
Ch. 4, Variable Reward. Starts on p. 95 (Penguin paperback, ISBN 9780241184837).
Cut phone / social-media use; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Sleep better
06; 26; 05
Plan: For a week I will note what kind of reward each scroll session was after: people, information, or completion. Then I will find a fixed, boring way to get that one thing, like a weekly call or a daily digest.
scrolling, feed, infinite scroll, slot machine, gambling, dopamine, likes, notifications, email, checking, refresh, reward, unpredictable, boredom, fomo, social media, games, addiction, craving, novelty
You check your feed 'for a second' and lose forty minutes. Most of what you saw was dull, which is exactly why you kept going.
Next time you catch yourself scrolling, ask what you are hoping to find: approval from people, something new, or the feeling of finishing. Name it.
An unpredictable reward pulls harder than a predictable one. Not knowing what the next scroll brings is what keeps you scrolling.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Single Model
Stephen R. Covey
Not started
Rebuild trust with someone I have been short with lately. Trust comes back in small deposits, not one big gesture.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Covey lists six major deposits: understanding the individual, attending to the little things, keeping commitments, clarifying expectations, showing personal integrity, and apologising sincerely when you make a withdrawal. Likely to trip me up: Covey says deposits in close, constant relationships evaporate fast, so they need to keep coming. He also warns that repeated apologies for the same thing stop counting. (Source: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Paradigms of Interdependence.)
Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain (How to Win Friends, Dale Carnegie): criticism is a withdrawal. Conversation, Not Connection (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): real time together is the biggest deposit.
People & Communication
The Emotional Bank Account
Part Three, Paradigms of Interdependence. Starts on p. 185 (Simon & Schuster UK paperback, ISBN 9781416502494).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: For one month I will make one small deposit a day with that person, and I will not make a promise I might break. When I slip, I will apologise the same day.
relationships, trust, marriage, partner, spouse, kids, parents, friends, colleagues, team, promises, apology, kindness, respect, conflict, distance, communication, family, loyalty, honesty
You only talk to someone when you need something or when there is a problem. Then you wonder why small things blow up.
Pick one important relationship. Make one deposit today: keep a small promise, say a sincere thank you, or apologise for something.
Every relationship has an account. Kindness, kept promises and honesty are deposits. Rudeness and broken promises are withdrawals.
Hooked
Single Model
Nir Eyal with Ryan Hoover
Not started
Make my reading habit stickier by investing in it a little each day. A growing log is harder to walk away from.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Eyal says investments come after the reward and store value in the product: content, data, followers, reputation, skill. He cites research on the IKEA effect, where people valued things more when they had built them, and on our drive to stay consistent with past actions. Likely to trip me up: Eyal says the same mechanism is what locks people into products that no longer serve them. A streak can keep me doing something long after it stopped being useful. (Source: Hooked, Ch. 5.)
Loss Aversion (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): what we have built feels too costly to lose. Emotions Create Habits (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): a small win makes you come back.
Habits & Behavior Change
Investment (Stored Value)
Ch. 5, Investment. Starts on p. 135 (Penguin paperback, ISBN 9780241184837).
Read / learn more; Exercise / move daily; Cut phone / social-media use; Save money / spend less
09; 01; 06; 03
Plan: After each reading session I will add one note to a single running file and update a simple streak. The pile of notes is the stored value that pulls me back.
investment, effort, commitment, sunk cost, streak, streaks, data, followers, playlists, tracking, log, progress, loyalty, switching, habit, apps, stick, consistency, ikea effect, ownership
You stay with an app, a plan or a project because of everything you have already put in, not because it is still serving you.
Use this in your favour. Put a small piece of work into a good habit today: log one workout, set up the savings account, write the first note.
The more work you put into something, the more you value it and the harder it is to leave. Small investments load the next return.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Single Model
Stephen R. Covey
Not started
Spend less energy on things I cannot change at work. Complaining about them does not move them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Covey says proactive people work on the things they can do something about, and that doing so makes their influence grow. He suggests a 30-day test: work only in the Circle of Influence, make small promises and keep them. Likely to trip me up: Covey separates things I control directly, things I can only influence through others, and things I cannot control at all. The mistake is treating the second kind like the first and pushing people. Note: Covey's book rests on principles and stories, not on experiments. (Source: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Habit 1.)
It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): the same line between what is yours and what is not. The Last of the Human Freedoms (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): Covey builds this habit on Frankl's story.
Mindset & Emotions
Circle of Concern, Circle of Influence
Habit 1, Be Proactive. Starts on p. 65 (Simon & Schuster UK paperback, ISBN 9781416502494).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 15; 04
Plan: For one month I will catch reactive language like 'I have to' and 'if only', and change it to 'I choose' and 'I will'. When I worry about something, I will ask which part of it I can act on, and do that part.
worry, worrying, control, helpless, blame, complaining, news, politics, boss, anxiety, stress, overthinking, reactive, proactive, responsibility, victim, excuses, change, initiative, focus
You spend hours on the news, your boss's moods and other people's faults. None of it changes, and you feel more helpless.
Draw two circles on paper. In the outer one write everything you worry about. In the inner one, the parts you can act on. Do one thing from the inner circle today.
Put your energy into the things you can do something about. That circle grows. Worry about the rest and it shrinks.
The ONE Thing
Single Model
Gary Keller with Jay Papasan
Not started
Find the one task each day that makes the rest easier, and protect time for it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Keller says the question has a big-picture form, for direction, and a small-focus form, for right now, and that asking it becomes a habit. He says success is built one thing at a time, in sequence. Likely to trip me up: Keller says the first answers are usually the obvious, doable ones. A great answer often lies outside what I already know, so I have to research it and look at what the best people do. (Source: The ONE Thing, Ch. 10 to Ch. 12.)
The 80/20 Rule (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): Keller pushes it further, from the vital few to the vital one. Keystone Habits (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): one habit that moves the rest.
Productivity & Focus
The Focusing Question
Ch. 10, The Focusing Question. Starts on p. 102 (Bard Press, 2013).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Limit multitasking / context-switching
13; 07; 28
Plan: Each morning I will ask the question for today, and once a week for the month and the year. I will block the first hours of the day for the answer.
focus, priorities, one thing, overwhelmed, to-do, list, busy, scattered, goals, important, leverage, decisions, work, business, productivity, clarity, simplify, progress, choose, results
Your list has twenty items and they all look important. You nibble at six and finish none.
Look at your list for today and ask which one item would make the others easier or unnecessary. Do that one first, before anything else.
Keep asking which single action, if you did it, would make everything else on the list easier or not needed at all.
Essentialism
Single Model
Greg McKeown
Not started
Stop spreading myself across ten projects. I would rather move one of them a mile.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: McKeown's core idea is the disciplined pursuit of less. He describes the paradox of success: doing well brings more options, which spread your effort and undermine the focus that made you succeed. Likely to trip me up: McKeown says non-essentialism is the default. Social pressure, too many choices and the idea that we can have it all keep adding things, and if I do not prioritise my life, someone else will. Note: this book is practical philosophy with some research, not a study. (Source: Essentialism, Ch. 1.)
The Focusing Question (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller): the same cut, made with one question. The 80/20 Rule (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): the vital few and the trivial many.
Productivity & Focus
Less but Better
Ch. 1, The Essentialist. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2014).
Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety; Limit multitasking / context-switching
13; 12; 28
Plan: I will list all my current commitments and rank them. For the bottom half I will decide this month which to finish, hand off or drop.
busy, overcommitted, stretched, overwhelmed, priorities, essential, less, simplify, focus, yes, burnout, scattered, commitments, choose, minimalism, clutter, time, energy, trade-off, clarity
You are stretched thin, busy but not productive, making a millimetre of progress in a million directions.
Look at everything you are committed to. Ask: if I could do only one of these well this month, which would it be?
Almost everything is noise and a few things are vital. Do fewer things and do them better. If you do not choose, someone else will.
Make It Stick
Single Model
Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger III and Mark A. McDaniel
Not started
Remember more of the books I read. Finishing a book and keeping it are two different things.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors report a study where students who read a passage and then tested themselves remembered clearly more a week later than students who reread it several times. They call rereading the most popular and least productive strategy. Likely to trip me up: they say retrieval feels harder and slower than rereading, so people judge it as less effective and go back to the highlighter. The difficulty is the point. (Source: Make It Stick, Ch. 2.)
Sleep Saves What You Learn (Why We Sleep, Matthew Walker): recall plus sleep is how memories get filed. The Feynman Technique (Ultralearning, Scott Young): explaining from memory shows what you really know.
Learning & Knowledge
Retrieval Practice
Ch. 2, To Learn, Retrieve. Starts on p. 23 (Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 2014).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: After each chapter I will close the book and write what I remember on a blank page. A week later I will do it again from memory before looking at my notes.
study, studying, exam, exams, revision, memory, remember, forget, forgetting, rereading, highlighting, notes, flashcards, quiz, test, learning, reading, books, retain, students
You reread your notes three times and highlight half the page. It feels familiar, and in the exam it is gone.
Close the book you are reading and write down everything you remember from the last chapter. Then check what you missed.
Pulling a fact out of your memory strengthens it far more than reading it again. Test yourself instead of rereading.
A Mind for Numbers
Single Model
Barbara Oakley
Not started
Catch myself when I am stuck in one approach at work. Trying the same thing harder is the usual default, and it rarely helps.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Oakley explains that an idea already in mind, or a first simple thought, can prevent a better solution from being found. Stepping back into diffuse mode, or getting an outside view, loosens it. Likely to trip me up: Oakley says this hits people who know a lot especially hard, because their well-worn patterns fire first. The more sure I am, the less likely I am to check. Note: the effect itself is well documented in experiments going back to the 1940s. (Source: A Mind for Numbers, Ch. 2.)
Learn to Drop Your Tools (Range, David Epstein): expertise can become the trap. Anchoring (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): the first thing in your head pulls everything after it.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Einstellung Effect
Ch. 2, Easy Does It: Why Trying Too Hard Can Sometimes Be Part of the Problem. Starts on p. 9 (TarcherPerigee, 2014).
Learn a skill / upskill; Stop overthinking / rumination; Be more productive / organised
17; 15; 13
Plan: When a fix fails twice, I will stop and write down my current assumption about the problem. Then I will ask a colleague how they would start, before I tell them what I tried.
stuck, rut, stubborn, fixed, approach, problem solving, creativity, blind spot, assumptions, first idea, habits, thinking, debugging, chess, maths, mistakes, flexible, fresh eyes, perspective, expert
You keep attacking a problem the same way, a little harder each time, and it keeps not working.
On one stuck problem today, write down the approach you are using. Then force yourself to list two completely different ones before continuing.
The first approach that comes to mind blocks you from seeing a better one. Your existing idea becomes a rut.
Range
Single Model
David Epstein
Not started
Judge my career choices by fit, not by the years already invested. Time spent is gone either way.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Epstein uses the economists' term match quality, the fit between a person and their work. He reports a study of people who let a coin toss decide a big change, where those who made the change were happier months later. He also describes how many of West Point's strongest graduates left the army as soon as they were allowed, not from lack of grit, but because they had learned what fitted them. Likely to trip me up: Epstein is not arguing against persistence. He says the hard part is telling a bad fit from a bad week, and sunk costs push people to stay either way. (Source: Range, Ch. 6.)
Loss Aversion (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): years already spent make us cling. Values Are Directions (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): choose by what you want to stand for, not by what you have already paid.
Decision-Making & Risk
Match Quality
Ch. 6, The Trouble with Too Much Grit (titled 'Finding Your Match' in some editions). Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2019).
Learn a skill / upskill; Improve mental health / be happier; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 04; 27
Plan: I will write down what each role I have had taught me about what suits me. Then I will test one possible new direction with a small side project before making any big move.
career, job, quit, quitting, stuck, wrong job, change, switch, grit, persistence, sunk cost, fit, passion, unhappy, work, degree, regret, failure, late, direction
You stay in a job or course that does not suit you because leaving feels like failure and wasted years.
Write down what you have learned about yourself in your current work: what energises you, what drains you. Ask if the fit has got better or worse.
How well the work fits who you are matters more than how early you started. Quitting a poor fit is often the smart move.
Peak
Single Model
Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool
Not started
Learn to judge my own writing. Until I can see what good looks like, I cannot correct myself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ericsson says the main purpose of deliberate practice is to build better mental representations, and that these are what let experts monitor and correct their own performance. Chess masters can recall a real game position at a glance, but do no better than beginners when the pieces are placed at random. Likely to trip me up: Ericsson says mental representations are specific to a field. Being sharp in one area does not carry over, so I have to build them from scratch for each new skill. (Source: Peak, Ch. 3.)
Chunking (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): small pieces fuse into patterns you can see at once. New combinations (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): seeing relationships is the skill.
Learning & Knowledge
Mental Representations
Ch. 3, Mental Representations. Page not verified (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: I will take three pieces of writing I admire and break down what each one does, line by line. Before I ask anyone for feedback on my own draft, I will first check it against that breakdown.
expert, expertise, patterns, intuition, chess, music, writing, coding, design, quality, taste, judgement, self-correct, feedback, mastery, model, examples, study, skill, learning
You practise a lot but you cannot tell a good attempt from a bad one yourself. You depend on someone else to tell you.
Find one excellent example of what you are learning. Study it closely and write down what makes it good. Compare your own next attempt to that list.
Experts are not faster thinkers. They hold richer mental pictures of their field, so they see patterns where beginners see pieces.
Peak
Single Model
Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool
Not started
Get measurably better at one part of my job this quarter, instead of collecting another certificate.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ericsson describes the US Navy's Top Gun school, where pilots flew mock dogfights against the best instructors and were debriefed hard after every flight. Their results in real combat improved sharply. He also reports that doctors with decades of experience are often no better, and sometimes worse, than those a few years out of training. Likely to trip me up: Ericsson says most workplace training delivers knowledge because it is easier to present and to test. Setting up real practice with feedback takes effort and someone willing to be honest. (Source: Peak, Ch. 5.)
Directness (Ultralearning, Scott Young): learn by doing the thing itself. Retrieval Practice (Make It Stick, Peter Brown and others): using knowledge beats reviewing it.
Learning & Knowledge
Skills Over Knowledge (the Top Gun Approach)
Ch. 5, Principles of Deliberate Practice on the Job. Page not verified (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
17; 13
Plan: I will choose one skill, like running a client call, and do a practice version each week with a colleague. We will spend ten minutes afterwards on what went wrong and try again.
work, job, career, training, courses, certificates, knowledge, skills, performance, presentations, sales, meetings, feedback, debrief, practice, experience, senior, improve, professional, learning
You take courses and read books about your job. Your knowledge grows and your actual performance does not.
Pick one work skill. Set up one realistic practice run this week, with someone watching, and ask them afterwards what to fix.
What matters is what you can do, not what you know. Train by doing the real thing, with fast feedback and a debrief after.
Ultralearning
Single Model
Scott H. Young
Not started
Fix the one thing that drags down my writing, instead of just writing more. More of the same keeps the same weakness.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Young borrows the idea of a rate-determining step from chemistry: the slowest part sets the pace of the whole. He recommends a direct-then-drill cycle, starting with the real skill, isolating the bottleneck, then going back. Likely to trip me up: Young says drilling is unpleasant because it means spending all my time on the thing I am worst at. It is also easy to drill something that is not the real bottleneck, which is why he says to start from direct practice. (Source: Ultralearning, Ch. 7.)
The Ability Chain (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): fix the weakest link first. Purposeful Practice (Peak, Anders Ericsson): aim practice at a specific target.
Learning & Knowledge
Drill (Attack Your Weakest Point)
Ch. 7, Principle 4, Drill: Attack Your Weakest Point. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2019).
Learn a skill / upskill; Beat procrastination / focus
17; 07
Plan: I will start with the real task, note where I struggle most, and then design a short drill for only that part. After a week of drills I will go back to the full task and check if it moved.
weakness, weak point, bottleneck, practice, drills, skill, improve, plateau, stuck, music, sport, language, pronunciation, vocabulary, coding, writing, speaking, focus, technique, progress
You keep practising the whole skill from start to finish. The same weak spot trips you every time and never gets enough attention.
Ask what single part of your skill, if it got better, would lift everything else. Spend your next session only on that.
Find the one part of a skill that holds the rest back. Pull it out, practise it alone, then put it back into the whole.
Ultralearning
Single Model
Scott H. Young
Not started
Stop wasting weeks on the wrong learning resources. An hour of mapping should save many hours of wandering.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Young suggests spending around ten percent of the total project time on this research up front, and asking why, what and how. For 'how', he says to look at how others learn the skill and then emphasise or drop parts to fit your goal. Likely to trip me up: Young warns that research can turn into a way of putting off the start. There is a point where more planning is just procrastination. Note: this book is built on Young's own projects plus learning research. It is a practitioner's method, not a study. (Source: Ultralearning, Ch. 4.)
Deliberate Practice (Peak, Anders Ericsson): find the proven training path. Script the Critical Moves (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): turn a vague goal into specific moves.
Learning & Knowledge
Metalearning (First Draw a Map)
Ch. 4, Principle 1, Metalearning: First Draw a Map. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2019).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more; Be more productive / organised
17; 09; 13
Plan: Before my next learning project, I will spend about a tenth of the planned time on research. I will find how others have learned it, list concepts, facts and procedures, and pick resources for the hardest part first.
learning, plan, course, courses, resources, overwhelmed, where to start, roadmap, curriculum, research, skill, language, coding, career, study, goals, method, wasted time, direction, self-taught
You buy the first course you see and start. Three weeks in, you realise it teaches things you do not need, in the wrong order.
For the next thing you want to learn, write three short lists: concepts to understand, facts to memorise, procedures to practise. Mark the hardest one.
Before you start learning something, spend time learning how it is learned: why, what and how.
A Mind for Numbers
Single Model
Barbara Oakley
Not started
Make the basics of a new skill automatic so I have attention left for the hard parts.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Oakley gives three steps to form a chunk: focused attention, understanding the basic idea, and practice that gives context, so you know when to use it as well as how. Likely to trip me up: Oakley warns about illusions of competence. Looking at a worked solution and thinking 'I get it' is not a chunk. If I cannot do it with the book closed, I do not have it. (Source: A Mind for Numbers, Ch. 4.)
Mental Representations (Peak, Anders Ericsson): the expert's library of patterns. Retrieval Practice (Make It Stick, Peter Brown and others): recalling the chunk is what welds it together.
Learning & Knowledge
Chunking
Ch. 4, Chunking and Avoiding Illusions of Competence. Starts on p. 51 (TarcherPerigee, 2014).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: I will pick the five most used procedures in the skill and chunk them one at a time: focus on it, understand the idea, then practise recalling it in different situations until it runs without effort.
memory, working memory, overwhelmed, complex, steps, procedure, maths, formulas, coding, music, language, grammar, practice, understanding, recall, fluent, automatic, beginner, skill, learning
Every step of a new skill needs your full attention, so you run out of mental room and freeze.
Take one small procedure you are learning. Work through it with focus until you understand it, then redo it from memory, without looking.
Bind small pieces into one unit you understand and can recall at once. Experts hold many such chunks, which frees up working memory.
Range
Single Model
David Epstein
Not started
Stop trying to plan my whole career on paper. Small real experiments will tell me more than another year of thinking.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Epstein draws on Herminia Ibarra's research on career changers. She found that people learn who they are in practice, not in theory, and that the ones who changed successfully ran small experiments instead of making one grand plan. Likely to trip me up: Epstein says standard advice, to decide first and then act, feels safer, so people keep taking personality tests and making long-term plans. Short-term experiments feel aimless while they are happening. (Source: Range, Ch. 7.)
The Sampling Period (same book): breadth comes before fit. Directness (Ultralearning, Scott Young): learn by doing the real thing.
Decision-Making & Risk
Test and Learn (Flirt with Your Possible Selves)
Ch. 7, Flirting with Your Possible Selves. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2019).
Learn a skill / upskill; Stop overthinking / rumination; Beat procrastination / focus
17; 15; 07
Plan: I will pick two possible directions and design one short experiment for each, a month long at most. After each, I will write what I learned about what I like and what I am good at, then choose the next experiment.
career, passion, purpose, change, stuck, lost, identity, future, plan, experiment, side project, try, fear, overthinking, decision, quit, direction, midlife, options, self-discovery
You wait to figure out your passion before you move. Years pass, because you cannot find it by thinking.
Name one version of your future you are curious about. Do one small thing this week that lets you try it on: a conversation, a weekend project, a short course.
You find out who you are by trying things, not by thinking about it. Act first in small ways, then reflect, then adjust.
Peak
Single Model
Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool
Not started
Stop guessing how to get better at editing. Someone has already worked out the training path, and I should find it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ericsson says deliberate practice needs a field with known training methods and a teacher who can assign exercises and give feedback. It is purposeful practice that knows where it is going. Likely to trip me up: Ericsson says the 10,000-hour rule is a misreading of his research. There is no magic number, the hours vary by field, and hours without this kind of structure do not count. Note: later analyses by other researchers found that practice explains a smaller share of differences in skill than Ericsson claimed, especially outside music, games and sport. Talent and other factors still matter. (Source: Peak, Ch. 4.)
Metalearning (Ultralearning, Scott Young): map how the skill is learned before you start. Growth Mindset (Mindset, Carol Dweck): ability grows with the right kind of effort.
Learning & Knowledge
Deliberate Practice
Ch. 4, The Gold Standard. Page not verified (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016).
Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 27
Plan: I will find a teacher or a well-regarded structured course for the skill, and ask what the standard progression of exercises is. I will follow that, and get my work checked regularly.
talent, gifted, coach, teacher, mentor, lessons, training, expert, mastery, 10000 hours, practice, skill, music, sport, chess, career, improve, stuck, method, feedback
You work hard on your own with no plan and no coach. You improve a little, then stall, and assume you lack talent.
For the skill you care about most, find out how the best people in that field actually train. Book one lesson, or find one structured course.
The best practice follows a proven training method, designed by a teacher who knows the field, aimed at your specific weakness.
Ultralearning
Single Model
Scott H. Young
Not started
Really understand the mental models I write about, well enough to explain each one to a fifteen-year-old.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Young names this after the physicist Richard Feynman, who was known for refusing to accept an idea until he could work it through himself. He links it to research on the illusion of explanatory depth, where people rate their understanding highly until they are asked to explain step by step. Likely to trip me up: Young says the method takes time, and it is tempting to skip to the next topic while the easy feeling of understanding is still there. (Source: Ultralearning, Ch. 11.)
Illusions of Knowing (Make It Stick, Peter Brown and others): the feeling of knowing is unreliable. Create Principles (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): turn what you read into something you can state.
Learning & Knowledge
The Feynman Technique
Ch. 11, Principle 8, Intuition: Dig Deep Before Building Up. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2019).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill; Journal / self-reflect
09; 17; 24
Plan: For each new model, I will write a one-page plain explanation from memory before I write anything for readers. I will mark the vague spots and go back to the book only for those.
understanding, explain, teaching, concepts, confused, studying, reading, books, notes, summary, simple, jargon, memorising, deep, intuition, physics, maths, learning, clarity, gaps
You nod along to an idea and feel you get it. Then you try to use it or explain it, and it falls apart.
Take one concept you are learning. On a blank page, explain it in plain words as if to a beginner. Go back to the source only for the parts where you got stuck.
Write the idea down as if teaching it to someone new. Where your explanation gets vague, that is exactly what you do not understand.
A Mind for Numbers
Single Model
Barbara Oakley
Not started
Stop grinding on problems when I am stuck. Switching gears on purpose is faster than forcing it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Oakley says focused mode works along familiar paths, while diffuse mode lets the mind range widely and link distant ideas. She says learning something hard means going back and forth between the two. Likely to trip me up: Oakley is clear that the diffuse mode only helps after real focused effort has loaded the problem in. A break with nothing loaded is just a break. She also notes that web surfing, texting and games can pull the brain back into focused mode, so they do not count. (Source: A Mind for Numbers, Ch. 2.)
Drop (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): the same step, described decades earlier. Solitude Deprivation (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): the diffuse mode needs input-free time.
Learning & Knowledge
Focused and Diffuse Modes
Ch. 2, Easy Does It: Why Trying Too Hard Can Sometimes Be Part of the Problem. Starts on p. 9 (TarcherPerigee, 2014).
Learn a skill / upskill; Stop overthinking / rumination; Beat procrastination / focus; Spend more time outdoors
17; 15; 07; 18
Plan: When I am stuck for more than twenty minutes, I will write the problem down clearly, then go for a walk without my phone. I will keep a notebook for whatever surfaces.
stuck, problem solving, maths, study, focus, break, breaks, walk, shower, insight, ideas, creativity, frustration, overthinking, tired, brain, learning, rest, coding, debugging
You stare at a hard problem for hours and get nowhere. The answer shows up later in the shower, and you wonder why.
Work on one hard problem with full focus for 25 minutes. Then take a real break, a walk or a shower, with no phone, and see what comes.
Your brain has two gears: tight focus for working a problem, and a relaxed diffuse mode that finds new connections. You need both.
Make It Stick
Single Model
Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger III and Mark A. McDaniel
Not started
Learn a new skill in short sessions across the week instead of one long weekend block. Little and often should stick better.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors describe surgical trainees who learned a procedure in four lessons spaced a week apart and clearly outperformed those who had all four lessons in one day. Likely to trip me up: they say massed practice feels better because you see fast gains on the day, and spaced practice feels clumsy because you have forgotten a bit each time. That feeling misleads people into cramming. (Source: Make It Stick, Ch. 3.)
Retrieval Practice (same book): spacing works best when each session is a self-test. Habit Stacking (Atomic Habits, James Clear): tie the short review to something you already do.
Learning & Knowledge
Spaced Practice
Ch. 3, Mix Up Your Practice. Starts on p. 46 (Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 2014).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: I will split my weekly practice into four short sessions on different days. Each one will start with a quick recall of the last session before anything new.
cramming, study, exam, revision, schedule, spaced repetition, flashcards, anki, memory, forget, forgetting, long term, language, vocabulary, skills, practice, consistency, students, learning, retain
You cram everything the night before. You pass the test, and two weeks later you cannot recall any of it.
Take something you learned today and put a reminder to test yourself on it in two days, then in a week.
Leave gaps between study sessions. A little forgetting makes the next recall harder, and that effort is what makes it last.
Peak
Single Model
Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool
Not started
Get better at speaking on camera, not just do more of it. Repeating what I can already do adds hours, not skill.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ericsson says purposeful practice has four parts: well-defined specific goals, focus, feedback, and getting out of your comfort zone. He describes a student who pushed his digit memory from 7 to over 80 this way. Likely to trip me up: Ericsson says once a skill reaches an acceptable, automatic level, more years of doing it do not improve it. Mindless repetition feels like practice and is not. (Source: Peak, Ch. 1.)
Desirable Difficulties (Make It Stick, Peter Brown and others): effort that stretches you is what builds skill. The Goldilocks Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): stay at the edge of your ability.
Learning & Knowledge
Purposeful Practice
Ch. 1, The Power of Purposeful Practice. Page not verified (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016).
Learn a skill / upskill; Exercise / move daily; Be more productive / organised
17; 01; 13
Plan: For each practice take, I will set one specific target, like cutting filler words in the first minute. I will record it, watch it back the same day, and pick the next target from what I see.
practice, improve, skill, plateau, stuck, experience, years, hobby, guitar, chess, sport, typing, coding, writing, goals, feedback, focus, comfort zone, progress, learning
You have done something for years, like driving, typing or your job, and you are no better than you were after year one.
Pick one skill. Set one small, specific target for your next session, and decide how you will know if you hit it.
Practice only improves you when it has a specific goal, full focus, feedback, and pushes you just past your comfort zone.
Range
Single Model
David Epstein
Not started
Work out which of my skills I can trust my gut on. Where feedback is slow or fuzzy, instincts may be learning the wrong thing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Epstein takes the terms from the psychologist Robin Hogarth. Chess and golf are kind: patterns repeat and feedback is quick and accurate. Much of modern work is wicked: rules are unclear, patterns may not repeat, and feedback is delayed or misleading. Likely to trip me up: Epstein's point is that in wicked domains, narrow experience can make people worse while making them more sure. I will not notice it from the inside. Note: Epstein is a journalist summing up other people's research, and critics say he picks cases that favour generalists. He himself agrees that early, narrow practice does work in kind domains. (Source: Range, Ch. 1.)
Purposeful Practice (Peak, Anders Ericsson): Ericsson's method fits kind environments best. The Planning Fallacy (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): when feedback is poor, check the track record.
Thinking & Reasoning
Kind and Wicked Learning Environments
Ch. 1, The Cult of the Head Start. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2019).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
17; 13
Plan: I will list the main judgement calls I make at work and mark each one kind or wicked. For the wicked ones, I will start writing down my predictions and checking them later.
experience, expert, expertise, feedback, intuition, gut, judgement, chess, golf, career, business, investing, medicine, prediction, rules, patterns, practice, overconfidence, learning, decisions
You assume ten years of experience makes someone right. In many fields, experience only makes people more confident.
For one skill you are building, ask: do I get quick, accurate feedback when I am wrong? If not, find a way to create it.
In kind settings, rules are clear and feedback is fast, so repetition builds skill. In wicked ones it can teach you the wrong lesson.
Make It Stick
Single Model
Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger III and Mark A. McDaniel
Not started
Find out what I actually know before an important presentation, not during it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say we are poor judges of our own learning, and that regular self-testing and feedback from others are the way to calibrate. They also describe the curse of knowledge and the Dunning-Kruger effect, where the least skilled overrate themselves most. Likely to trip me up: they say fluency with a text, from rereading it, feels exactly like mastery. I will not want to test myself, because the test removes a pleasant feeling. (Source: Make It Stick, Ch. 5.)
What You See Is All There Is (WYSIATI) (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): confidence comes from the story feeling neat, not from evidence. The Feynman Technique (Ultralearning, Scott Young): explaining exposes the gaps.
Biases & Blind Spots
Illusions of Knowing
Ch. 5, Avoid Illusions of Knowing. Starts on p. 102 (Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 2014).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: A week before any talk or test, I will explain the material from memory to a friend or a recorder, and list the gaps. My study time goes on the gaps only.
overconfidence, confident, familiar, knowing, understanding, exam, surprise, blank, rereading, study, feedback, testing, self-assessment, blind spot, expert, interview, presentation, learning, mistakes, calibration
The material looks familiar, so you feel ready. Then someone asks you to explain it and you cannot.
Pick one topic you think you know well. Without notes, explain it out loud or on paper. Mark every spot where you got stuck.
Feeling that you know something is not proof that you do. Fluency from rereading fools you. Only a test tells you the truth.
Make It Stick
Single Model
Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger III and Mark A. McDaniel
Not started
Stop mistaking a clear tutorial for learning. If there was no struggle, there was probably not much learning.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors use Robert and Elizabeth Bjork's term desirable difficulties. They report that trying to answer before being taught, even when you get it wrong, leads to better learning of the right answer afterwards. Likely to trip me up: they are clear that not all difficulty helps. It has to be something I can overcome with effort. If I lack the background to even attempt it, the struggle is just frustration. (Source: Make It Stick, Ch. 4.)
The Goldilocks Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): the useful zone is just past comfortable. Purposeful Practice (Peak, Anders Ericsson): improvement lives outside the comfort zone.
Learning & Knowledge
Desirable Difficulties
Ch. 4, Embrace Difficulties. Starts on p. 67 (Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 2014).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 09; 27
Plan: For each new thing I am learning, I will attempt the problem or write my guess first, before I watch the explanation. I will treat my wrong attempts as part of the lesson.
learning, easy, hard, struggle, effort, tutorials, videos, courses, passive, understanding, forget, mistakes, errors, confusion, frustration, practice, skills, students, teaching, retain
You pick the smoothest way to learn: the clear video, the worked example. It all makes sense, and none of it stays.
Before you look up how to do something today, spend five minutes trying to work it out yourself. Then check.
Learning that feels easy fades fast. The right kind of struggle, like trying to solve it before you are shown, makes it stick.
Ultralearning
Single Model
Scott H. Young
Not started
Publish earlier and ask for feedback sooner. Hiding my work protects my feelings and slows my progress.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Young separates three kinds: outcome feedback tells you how well you did, informational feedback tells you what is wrong, and corrective feedback tells you how to fix it. The last is the most useful and usually needs a teacher or expert. Likely to trip me up: Young cites a large review by Kluger and DeNisi which found that feedback often fails, and in a good share of cases made performance worse, especially when it was about the person and not the task. Fear of it also makes people avoid the situations that produce it. (Source: Ultralearning, Ch. 9.)
Verbal Judo (Feeling Good, David Burns): take what is true in the criticism and let the rest go. Praise the Process (Mindset, Carol Dweck): feedback about the work helps, feedback about the person hurts.
Learning & Knowledge
Feedback (Don't Dodge the Punches)
Ch. 9, Principle 6, Feedback: Don't Dodge the Punches. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2019).
Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve relationships / communicate
17; 27; 25
Plan: I will share each draft with one person within a day of finishing it, and ask for the one thing to fix. I will look for what to change, and ignore praise or blame about me.
feedback, criticism, fear, judgement, showing work, publishing, perfectionism, improve, mentor, review, comments, harsh, ego, sensitive, learning, skill, mistakes, honest, growth, shy
You avoid showing your work until it is ready, because criticism stings. So you improve slowly, in private, on the wrong things.
Show one unfinished piece of work to someone today and ask one question: what is the single thing I should fix first?
Seek out fast, honest feedback on your work, and use the part that tells you what to fix. Feedback aimed at your ego does harm.
Ultralearning
Single Model
Scott H. Young
Not started
Learn video editing by editing real videos, not by watching more tutorials about it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Young reviews the research on transfer, which has repeatedly found that people struggle to apply what they learned in one setting to another. His answer is to close the gap: learn in the situation you will use the skill in, through projects, immersion or simulation. Likely to trip me up: Young says direct practice is uncomfortable and often harder, which is why people drift to books, apps and videos. Those feel like progress. (Source: Ultralearning, Ch. 6.)
Skills Over Knowledge (Peak, Anders Ericsson): performance comes from practising the performance. Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the real thing small enough to start.
Learning & Knowledge
Directness
Ch. 6, Principle 3, Directness: Go Straight Ahead. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2019).
Learn a skill / upskill; Beat procrastination / focus; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 07; 27
Plan: I will pick one real project and learn only what it demands, as the need comes up. For every hour of tutorial, I will do at least two hours of the real task.
learning, language, duolingo, apps, courses, tutorials, theory, practice, real, projects, coding, speaking, fear, beginner, transfer, skills, career, doing, portfolio, stuck
You study a language on an app for a year and still cannot hold a conversation. You practised the app, not the talking.
For one skill you are learning, do the real version today, however badly: have the conversation, write the code, record the video.
Learn by doing the thing you want to be good at, in the setting where you will use it. Skills transfer far less than we hope.
Range
Single Model
David Epstein
Not started
Notice when my usual way of working has stopped fitting the problem. Methods start to feel like part of you, which is why people hold on to them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Epstein draws on Karl Weick's studies of wildland firefighters who died running from fires still carrying heavy tools they had been told to drop. Weick concluded that the tools had become part of who they were. Epstein sets this beside NASA's culture before the Challenger launch, where only hard numbers counted and a warning without data was dismissed. Likely to trip me up: Epstein says dropping a familiar tool feels like giving up your identity and your training, and it has to happen exactly when stress makes people most rigid. (Source: Range, Ch. 11.)
The Einstellung Effect (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): the known approach blocks the better one. Name Your Fixed-Mindset Persona (Mindset, Carol Dweck): identity makes change feel like a threat.
Thinking & Reasoning
Learn to Drop Your Tools
Ch. 11, Learning to Drop Your Familiar Tools. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2019).
Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill; Manage stress / anxiety
13; 17; 12
Plan: Once a month I will pick one routine method I rely on and ask a colleague from a different background how they would do the same job. I will try their way once.
habits, methods, tools, rigid, stubborn, expert, expertise, pressure, crisis, change, adapt, flexible, routine, rules, process, identity, job, career, mistakes, decisions
The situation has changed, but you keep using the approach that made you successful before. It feels like discipline. It is a trap.
Name one method or rule you always rely on. Ask: in what situation would this be the wrong tool, and would I notice?
Under pressure people cling to the methods they know, even when those methods are what is sinking them. Know when to drop the tool.
Make It Stick
Single Model
Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger III and Mark A. McDaniel
Not started
Practise the way the real thing happens, mixed up. Smooth blocked practice gives false confidence.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors report studies where students who practised mixed problem types did worse during practice but much better on a later test than those who practised in blocks. A baseball study found the same for batters facing random pitches. Likely to trip me up: they say interleaved practice feels slow and frustrating, and learners almost always rate blocked practice as more effective even after it has failed them. (Source: Make It Stick, Ch. 3.)
Kind and Wicked Learning Environments (Range, David Epstein): real problems do not come labelled. Chunking (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): knowing when to use a chunk matters as much as having it.
Learning & Knowledge
Interleaving
Ch. 3, Mix Up Your Practice. Starts on p. 46 (Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 2014).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: I will take three skills I am working on and rotate between them in each session, never doing more than a few rounds of one before switching.
practice, drills, study, maths, problems, exam, sport, music, skills, variety, mixing, blocked, revision, learning, transfer, confusion, slow, progress, students, training
You drill one type of problem until it is smooth. In real life the problems arrive mixed, and you cannot tell which method to use.
In your next practice session, rotate between three different topics or skills instead of doing one in a block.
Mix different topics or skills in one session instead of finishing one before starting the next. It feels worse and works better.
A Mind for Numbers
Single Model
Barbara Oakley
Not started
Handle timed tests without freezing on one hard question. I want a rule for when to move on.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Oakley says loading the hard problem first lets the diffuse mode work on it in the background while attention is on something easier. Likely to trip me up: Oakley says it takes discipline to pull away from a problem after a minute or two, because being stuck makes people dig in. She also says it only works if I have prepared. For someone who has not studied, she advises the usual easy-first approach. (Source: A Mind for Numbers, Ch. 17.)
Eat That Frog (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): hardest first, but Oakley adds the escape hatch. Focused and Diffuse Modes (same book): this is how to use both under time pressure.
Productivity & Focus
Hard Start, Jump to Easy
Ch. 17, Test Taking. Page not verified (TarcherPerigee, 2014).
Manage stress / anxiety; Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill
12; 07; 17
Plan: In my next timed test, I will glance over everything, start on the hardest question, and pull away within two minutes if I am stuck. I will return to it after an easier one.
exam, exams, test, time pressure, hard questions, stuck, panic, blank, strategy, order, priorities, tasks, study, maths, interview, problem solving, anxiety, stress, deadline, focus
You do the easy questions first and reach the hard ones tired and short of time. Or you start hard, get stuck, and burn half the exam on one question.
On your next task list, start with the hardest item. If you are stuck after a couple of minutes, move to an easy one, then come back.
Start with the hardest problem, but switch away the moment you get stuck. Your diffuse mode keeps working on it while you do easier ones.
A Mind for Numbers
Single Model
Barbara Oakley
Not started
Get started on the tasks I dread by promising time, not results. Twenty-five minutes is a promise I can keep.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Oakley says that thinking about something we dislike activates the brain's pain centres, and that the discomfort fades soon after we actually start. Focusing on process, the time put in, avoids triggering it. She recommends the Pomodoro technique, created by Francesco Cirillo. Likely to trip me up: Oakley says habits have a cue, and the key is my reaction to the cue. If my phone is in reach when the discomfort hits, the old routine wins before the timer starts. (Source: A Mind for Numbers, Ch. 5 and Ch. 6.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): shrink the start. Action Comes Before Motivation (Feeling Good, David Burns): start first, the mood follows.
Productivity & Focus
Process, Not Product
Ch. 5, Preventing Procrastination (starts on p. 83), and Ch. 6, Zombies Everywhere (starts on p. 93) (TarcherPerigee, 2014).
Beat procrastination / focus; Read / learn more; Be more productive / organised
07; 09; 13
Plan: Each day I will do one 25-minute block on my most avoided task first, phone in another room. I will judge the session only on whether I stayed with it, not on how much got done.
procrastination, pomodoro, timer, study, homework, assignment, dread, avoid, discomfort, start, focus, distraction, phone, deadline, essay, thesis, exam, overwhelmed, reward, habit
You think about the whole assignment, feel a jolt of discomfort, and switch to something pleasant. The task is still there tomorrow, bigger.
Set a timer for 25 minutes. Work on the task you are avoiding with everything else off. When it rings, take a five-minute reward.
Dread comes from thinking about the finished product. Commit only to a block of time, like 25 minutes, and the dread fades.
Peak
Single Model
Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool
Not started
Break my fitness plateau by adding a small stretch each week. Doing the same comfortable workout keeps me exactly where I am.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ericsson explains that the body seeks a stable state, and only a sustained push beyond it triggers change. He points to brain scans of London taxi drivers, whose memory region grew with years of navigation training. Likely to trip me up: Ericsson warns that pushing too hard for too long leads to injury or burnout. The push has to be a little beyond, not far beyond, and the gains fade if the training stops. (Source: Peak, Ch. 2.)
The Goldilocks Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): just manageable is the sweet spot. Friction (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): make the stretch session easy to start.
Learning & Knowledge
Harnessing Adaptability
Ch. 2, Harnessing Adaptability. Page not verified (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016).
Exercise / move daily; Learn a skill / upskill; Lose weight
01; 17; 08
Plan: Each week I will push one thing a little past comfortable, one more rep, a slightly faster pace, and hold it there until it feels normal. Then I will move the line again.
plateau, comfort zone, fitness, strength, running, gym, brain, training, stretch, challenge, improve, adapt, progress, stuck, age, too old, talent, limits, effort, skill
You train the same way at the same level every week, and wonder why you stopped improving.
In your next session, find the point where it gets uncomfortable and spend a few minutes just past it. Then back off.
The body and brain change only when pushed a little beyond what they can comfortably do. Stay comfortable and nothing adapts.
Range
Single Model
David Epstein
Not started
Stop feeling behind for having changed direction. A few years of trying different things may be an investment, not a waste.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Epstein contrasts Tiger Woods, who specialised as a toddler, with Roger Federer, who played many sports and settled on tennis late. He reports research showing that elite athletes more often had a sampling period, and that musicians who reached top schools had usually tried several instruments first. Likely to trip me up: Epstein says the head start is visible and the benefit of sampling is not, so sampling always feels like falling behind while it is happening. (Source: Range, Introduction and Ch. 3.)
Test and Learn (same book): you learn what fits by trying it. Golden Behaviors (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): list many options before you choose one.
Learning & Knowledge
The Sampling Period
Introduction, Roger vs. Tiger, and Ch. 3, When Less of the Same Is More. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2019).
Learn a skill / upskill; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 26; 27
Plan: This year I will run three small, low-cost trials of things I am curious about. After each one I will write what I liked, what I was good at, and what I learned about myself.
career, behind, late, late bloomer, specialise, specialize, generalist, hobbies, interests, curious, explore, try, switch, college, major, kids, parenting, sport, talent, direction
You feel behind because others picked their path at 18. So you rush to commit, or you feel it is too late to start anything new.
Pick one thing you are curious about and have never tried. Give it a small, cheap test this month, a class, a weekend, a short project.
Try many things before you commit to one. People who sample widely first often pass the early specialists later.
Nonviolent Communication
Single Model
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Not started
Give feedback at work that people can hear. 'You are careless' starts a fight. 'There were three errors in this report' starts a conversation.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rosenberg says when we mix evaluation into an observation, people hear criticism and resist. He quotes the philosopher Krishnamurti, that observing without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence. Likely to trip me up: Rosenberg admits this is hard. Words like always, never and whenever slip in without my noticing, and an evaluation can hide inside a polite sentence. (Source: Nonviolent Communication, Ch. 3.)
Strip It Down to What It Is (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): plain description removes the charge. It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event (same author): the fact and your opinion of it are two things.
People & Communication
Observe Without Evaluating
Ch. 3, Observing Without Evaluating. Page not verified (PuddleDancer Press, 3rd edition, 2015).
Improve relationships / communicate; Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 15; 12
Plan: For two weeks I will catch the words always, never, and any label like lazy or rude, and replace them with what I actually saw and when.
judging, judgement, criticism, labels, always, never, lazy, blame, arguments, feedback, facts, opinions, exaggerate, partner, kids, colleagues, manager, review, fair, communication
You say 'you are always late' or 'you never listen'. The person argues with 'always' and 'never', and the real point is lost.
Take one complaint you have about someone and rewrite it as something a camera could have recorded: what, when, how many times.
Describe what happened like a camera would. Keep your judgement of it out of the sentence.
The Happiness Trap
Single Model
Russ Harris
Not started
Work out what I want my days to stand for, not just what I want to achieve. Goals alone leave gaps between the wins.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harris says values are about how you want to behave on an ongoing basis, and that they can be acted on in any moment, which gives a sense of purpose that does not depend on results. Likely to trip me up: Harris says values are not rules, and using them to beat myself up with 'should' and 'must' turns them into another struggle. He also says many people at first cannot say what their values are, and that this is normal. (Source: The Happiness Trap, Ch. 24 and Ch. 25.)
A Why to Live For (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): meaning carries you when comfort does not. Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): act as the person you want to be.
Mindset & Emotions
Values Are Directions, Goals Are Destinations
Ch. 24, Follow Your Heart. Starts on p. 198 in the first edition (Exisle Publishing, ISBN 9780908988907). The 2022 second edition is reorganised.
Improve mental health / be happier; Beat procrastination / focus; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Journal / self-reflect
04; 07; 26; 24
Plan: I will write my values in four areas: work, relationships, health and leisure. Each week I will pick one small action for each that I can do whether or not anything gets achieved.
values, goals, purpose, meaning, direction, motivation, empty, success, failure, lost, career, priorities, fulfilment, identity, choices, decisions, life, drifting, new year, resolutions
You hit a goal and feel empty a week later. Or you miss it and feel like a failure. Either way the good feeling never lasts.
Pick one area, like health or family. Write what kind of person you want to be in it, in a few words. Do one small thing today that fits.
A goal gets ticked off. A value is a direction, like heading west. You can live a value today, long before any goal is reached.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Single Model
Dale Carnegie
Not started
Stop getting pulled into arguments I do not need to win. Being right has a cost.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Carnegie says nine times out of ten an argument ends with each side more convinced than before. His advice is to welcome the disagreement, distrust your first defensive reaction, control your temper and listen first. Likely to trip me up: avoiding an argument is not the same as giving in on things that matter. Carnegie is talking about fights over being right, and the ego pull to have the last word is strong. (Source: How to Win Friends and Influence People, Part Three, Ch. 1.)
It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): you do not have to react. Mirroring (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): get curious about their view instead of fighting it.
People & Communication
You Can't Win an Argument
Part Three, Ch. 1, 'You Can't Win an Argument'. Page not verified.
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety; Spend time with family/friends
25; 12; 14
Plan: When a disagreement starts, I will first listen to the end, then look for one point I can honestly agree with, and ask for time to think before I answer.
arguments, arguing, fights, conflict, debate, winning, right, wrong, ego, partner, spouse, family, colleagues, online, comments, politics, anger, stubborn, pride, relationships
You prove your point in an argument, and somehow things are worse afterwards.
Next time you feel an argument starting, ask yourself what you would actually gain by winning it. If the answer is nothing, let it go.
You cannot win an argument. If you lose, you lose. If you win, the other person resents you and still disagrees.
Nonviolent Communication
Single Model
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Not started
Stop saying 'you made me feel'. Find the need underneath, because that is the part I can act on.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rosenberg lists four ways to hear a hard message: blame yourself, blame the other person, sense your own feelings and needs, or sense theirs. He says the more directly we connect a feeling to our own need, the easier it is for others to respond with care. Likely to trip me up: Rosenberg says many of us were never taught words for needs, and that going from blaming others to owning our feelings passes through an awkward, angry stage. (Source: Nonviolent Communication, Ch. 5.)
It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): the upset comes from inside. The Ten Cognitive Distortions (Feeling Good, David Burns): feelings follow your interpretation.
People & Communication
Your Feelings Come From Your Needs
Ch. 5, Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings. Page not verified (PuddleDancer Press, 3rd edition, 2015).
Improve relationships / communicate; Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 04; 12
Plan: Each time I am upset this week, I will write the feeling and then the need behind it, like respect, rest, or being included. Then I will ask for that need directly.
anger, angry, hurt, upset, blame, feelings, emotions, needs, resentment, guilt, sensitive, reaction, triggered, partner, family, boss, responsibility, victim, self-awareness, communication
You say 'you make me so angry'. That hands the other person control of your mood and leaves you waiting for them to change.
Next time you are upset with someone, finish this sentence: I feel (this) because I need (this). Leave the other person out of it.
What others do can trigger your feelings, but it is never the cause. The cause is a need of yours that is met or not met.
Feeling Good
Single Model
David D. Burns
Not started
Finish and publish my work without polishing it for weeks. Perfect is how drafts stay drafts.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Burns says to weigh the costs and benefits of perfectionism in writing, and to run the experiment of lower standards. He reports that when he aimed for merely good work, he got more done and the quality did not fall. Likely to trip me up: Burns says perfectionists fear that without impossible standards they will become lazy. That fear will tell me not to run the experiment at all. (Source: Feeling Good, Ch. 14.)
Growth Mindset (Mindset, Carol Dweck): effort and mistakes are how you improve. Emotions Create Habits (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): feel good about small wins or you will avoid the work.
Mindset & Emotions
Dare to Be Average
Ch. 14, Dare to Be Average! Ways to Overcome Perfectionism. Page not verified.
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus; Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier
27; 07; 12; 04
Plan: I will list the advantages and disadvantages of my perfectionism on paper. Then for two weeks I will rate tasks for how perfectly I did them and how satisfying they were, and see if the two really go together.
perfectionism, perfectionist, perfect, standards, failure, fear, mistakes, procrastination, stress, never good enough, self-criticism, burnout, anxiety, overworking, avoid, finish, average, good enough, pressure, shame
You will not start unless you can do it perfectly. So you start late, or not at all, and nothing you finish feels good enough.
Pick one task today and aim on purpose for 80 percent instead of 100. Afterwards, note how good the result was and how much you enjoyed it.
Perfectionism promises success and delivers stress and avoidance. Aim for good enough and you do more, and enjoy it more.
Never Split the Difference
Single Model
Chris Voss and Tahl Raz
Not started
Get real answers instead of polite yeses. A yes that means 'go away' is worth nothing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Voss says there are three kinds of yes, counterfeit, confirmation and commitment, and most early yeses are counterfeit. A no makes the person feel protected, and after it they relax and start to talk. Likely to trip me up: Voss says hearing no feels like rejection, so the instinct is to avoid it. I have to treat no as the start of the conversation, not the end. (Source: Never Split the Difference, Ch. 4.)
Requests, Not Demands (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): a real request leaves room for no. Talk About What They Want (How to Win Friends, Dale Carnegie): pressure makes people guard themselves.
People & Communication
Start With No
Ch. 4, Beware 'Yes', Master 'No'. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2016).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised; Save money / spend less
25; 13; 03
Plan: For a week I will phrase my asks so that no is the comfortable answer, like 'Would it be a bad idea if'. When someone has gone silent on email, I will send one line: 'Have you given up on this?'
no, yes, rejection, pushy, sales, asking, requests, email, follow up, ignored, commitment, pressure, boundaries, control, negotiation, persuade, boss, clients, decisions, communication
You push people towards yes. They say a quick yes to get rid of you, and nothing happens.
Replace one 'Do you have a few minutes?' today with 'Is now a bad time to talk?'
People feel safe and in control when they can say no. Ask questions where no is the easy answer, and the real talk begins.
The Happiness Trap
Single Model
Russ Harris
Not started
Get through nervous moments, like presentations, without the panic about being nervous. The nerves are manageable. The second layer is what does the damage.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harris describes a switch at the back of the mind. When it is on, we struggle against every bad feeling and pile more on top. When it is off, feelings rise and fall on their own. His practice for this is called expansion. Likely to trip me up: Harris says acceptance does not mean liking the feeling or giving up. And if I accept a feeling only in order to make it go away, that is still the switch being on. (Source: The Happiness Trap, Ch. 11 and Ch. 13.)
Paradoxical Intention (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): fighting a symptom feeds it. The Struggle Is the Trap (same book): control is the problem, not the feeling.
Mindset & Emotions
The Struggle Switch
Ch. 11, The Struggle Switch (starts on p. 104), and Ch. 13, Staring Down Demons (starts on p. 116), in the first edition (Exisle Publishing, ISBN 9780908988907).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier; Meditate / mindfulness; Sleep better
12; 04; 21; 05
Plan: When anxiety shows up before a meeting, I will do the four steps: observe where it is in my body, breathe into it, make room for it, and allow it to be there. Then I will walk in with it.
anxiety, panic, fear, sadness, anger, guilt, emotions, feelings, acceptance, body, breathing, calm, overwhelmed, stress, struggle, resist, mindfulness, nervous, exam, interview
You feel anxious, then you get angry or scared about being anxious. Now you have two problems.
Next time a hard feeling comes, find where it sits in your body. Breathe into it slowly, and let it be there for one minute without trying to change it.
Pain is one thing. Fighting the pain adds a second layer: anxiety about anxiety. Turn off the fight and only the first layer is left.
Never Split the Difference
Single Model
Chris Voss and Tahl Raz
Not started
Get my ideas actually adopted at work, not just nodded at. 'You're right' is often a polite way of ending the conversation.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Voss says 'that's right' signals the person feels fully understood, which is when behaviour starts to change. He describes a hostage case that turned after a summary drew those two words from the kidnapper. Likely to trip me up: Voss warns that 'you're right' is a disaster. People say it to make you stop talking. If I am the one doing most of the talking, that is the answer I will get. (Source: Never Split the Difference, Ch. 5.)
Listen for Feelings and Needs (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): people need to feel heard before they move. You Can't Win an Argument (How to Win Friends, Dale Carnegie): being right does not change minds.
People & Communication
Aim for 'That's Right', Not 'You're Right'
Ch. 5, Trigger the Two Words That Immediately Transform Any Negotiation. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2016).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised; Spend time with family/friends
25; 13; 14
Plan: In my next disagreement I will paraphrase the other person's position, including how they feel about it, and keep refining it until I hear 'that's right'. Only then will I make my case.
agreement, understood, listening, summary, persuade, convince, change, stubborn, arguments, conflict, partner, teenager, boss, client, negotiation, trust, empathy, brush-off, results, communication
The other person says 'you're right' and then does nothing. You thought you had agreement. You had a brush-off.
In one disagreement today, stop arguing your side. Summarise theirs, facts and feelings, until they say 'that's right'.
Summarise their view so well that they say 'that's right'. Only then do they feel understood and open to change.
The Happiness Trap
Single Model
Russ Harris
Not started
See clearly which of my coping habits are costing more than they give. I cannot drop what I have not counted.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harris says control strategies are fine in small doses, but they become a problem when we use them too much, in situations where they cannot work, or when they stop us doing what we value. Seeing the cost is the first step in the therapy this book is based on. Likely to trip me up: Harris says our minds evolved to look for danger and compare, so bad feelings are normal and the urge to get rid of them is strong. Note: the approach is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which has many clinical trials behind it. The book is not a replacement for professional help. (Source: The Happiness Trap, Ch. 1 and Ch. 2.)
Time Management Is Pain Management (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): distraction is an escape from discomfort. Happiness Cannot Be Pursued (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): chasing the feeling pushes it away.
Mindset & Emotions
The Struggle Is the Trap
Ch. 2, Vicious Cycles. Starts on p. 31 in the first edition (Exisle Publishing, ISBN 9780908988907). The 2022 second edition is reorganised, so look for the topic by name.
Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Drink less alcohol
04; 12; 19; 11
Plan: For one week I will note each time I do something mainly to get away from a feeling, what it was, and how I felt an hour later. No changing anything yet, just counting.
anxiety, anxious, sad, stress, avoid, escape, numb, distraction, comfort eating, drinking, scrolling, smoking, control, feelings, emotions, happiness, struggle, overthinking, coping, relief
You fight anxiety with distraction, food, scrolling or a drink. It helps for an hour, then the anxiety is back, plus the side effects.
List the things you do to avoid feeling bad. Next to each one write: does it work in the long run, and what does it cost me?
Trying to get rid of bad thoughts and feelings works briefly, then makes them bigger. The struggle itself is the trap.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Single Model
Dale Carnegie
Not started
Stop correcting my family on small things. Correcting people rarely makes them do it my way, and it costs goodwill every time.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Carnegie says criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and makes them justify themselves, and dangerous because it wounds their pride. He says even hardened criminals rarely blame themselves, so ordinary people will not either. Likely to trip me up: Carnegie does not say never give feedback. Later in the book he covers how to do it, starting with praise and with my own mistakes. Also, his evidence is stories from the 1930s, not studies. (Source: How to Win Friends and Influence People, Part One, Ch. 1.)
Observe Without Evaluating (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): say what happened without the verdict. Praise the Process (Mindset, Carol Dweck): feedback works when it points at the doing, not the person.
People & Communication
Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain
Part One, Ch. 1, 'If You Want to Gather Honey, Don't Kick Over the Beehive'. Starts on p. 3 (Simon & Schuster paperback, ISBN 9780671027032). Chapters restart at 1 in each part. Some editions number them straight through.
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 14; 12
Plan: For one week I will hold back every criticism and complaint. When I feel one coming, I will try to work out why the person did what they did, and say nothing until I have.
criticism, criticise, criticize, complain, complaining, blame, nagging, arguments, fights, partner, spouse, kids, parents, colleagues, boss, team, feedback, resentment, defensive, relationships
You point out what someone did wrong, hoping they will fix it. They argue back, and the relationship gets worse.
For one day, do not criticise, condemn or complain about anyone, out loud or in messages. Notice how often you wanted to.
Criticism does not change people. It makes them defend themselves and resent you.
Nonviolent Communication
Single Model
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Not started
Raise a problem at home without it turning into a fight. Complaints that come out as accusations start fights.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rosenberg says the four parts keep attention on what each person is observing, feeling and needing, instead of on who is wrong. He used it in mediation between groups in serious conflict. Likely to trip me up: Rosenberg warns it is not a formula to recite. If I use the four steps as a script to get my way, the other person hears a demand. Note: this is a practice method from his mediation work. Research on it is encouraging but still limited. (Source: Nonviolent Communication, Ch. 1.)
Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain (How to Win Friends, Dale Carnegie): blame closes ears. Label the Emotion (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): naming a feeling calms it.
People & Communication
Observation, Feeling, Need, Request
Ch. 1, Giving from the Heart. Page not verified (PuddleDancer Press, 3rd edition, 2015). Chapters 1 to 10 have the same numbers in the 2nd edition.
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 14; 12
Plan: Before any hard conversation this month, I will write the four lines first. I will check that the first line is a fact a camera could record, and the last line is something the person can actually do.
communication, conflict, arguments, blame, partner, spouse, marriage, family, kids, parents, colleagues, boss, feelings, needs, requests, honest, difficult conversation, resentment, listening, relationships
You try to raise a problem and it comes out as blame. The other person hears an attack and the real issue never gets discussed.
Write one difficult message in four lines before you send it: when I see or hear (this), I feel (this), because I need (this). Would you be willing to (this)?
Say four things in order: what you observed, how you feel, what you need, and what you are asking for.
The Happiness Trap
Single Model
Russ Harris
Not started
Stop wrestling with the thought that I am not good enough. I do not need to win the argument. I need to stop having it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harris says the mind is a great storyteller, and the aim is not to check if a story is true but to see if it is helpful. He offers quick techniques like naming the story or thanking your mind. Likely to trip me up: Harris is clear that defusion is not a way to get rid of thoughts. If I use it to make a thought go away, I am back in the struggle, and it will seem to stop working. (Source: The Happiness Trap, Ch. 4 to Ch. 6.)
It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): you can step back from an impression. Name Your Fixed-Mindset Persona (Mindset, Carol Dweck): give the voice a name and it is no longer you.
Mindset & Emotions
Defusion (Thoughts Are Just Words)
Ch. 4, The Great Storyteller. Starts on p. 49 in the first edition (Exisle Publishing, ISBN 9780908988907). The 2022 second edition is reorganised.
Stop overthinking / rumination; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety
15; 27; 04; 12
Plan: When a harsh thought shows up, I will say 'I am having the thought that' and then ask one question: if I let this thought guide me, does it take me towards the life I want? If not, I will let it sit there and carry on.
overthinking, negative thoughts, self-talk, inner critic, self-doubt, worry, rumination, anxiety, not good enough, failure, imposter, insecurity, confidence, mind, stories, beliefs, mindfulness, thoughts, stuck, fear
Your mind says 'I am not good enough' and you treat it as a fact. You argue with it for hours and lose.
Take one painful thought and put this in front of it: 'I am having the thought that'. Say it a few times and notice the distance.
A thought is only words in your head. Ask if it is helpful, not if it is true, and you can have it without obeying it.
Never Split the Difference
Single Model
Chris Voss and Tahl Raz
Not started
Handle angry people at work without absorbing it or fighting back. Naming what they feel is faster than both.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Voss cites brain-imaging research by Matthew Lieberman showing that putting a feeling into words lowers activity in the brain's fear centre. He also recommends an accusation audit, where you say the worst things they could think about you first. Likely to trip me up: Voss says to use 'It seems like', never 'I am hearing that', because 'I' makes it about me. And a wrong label said with confidence annoys people, so it needs the soft opening. (Source: Never Split the Difference, Ch. 3.)
Listen for Feelings and Needs (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): reflect the feeling before anything else. Your Feelings Come From Your Needs (same book): the emotion points at something underneath.
People & Communication
Label the Emotion
Ch. 3, Don't Feel Their Pain, Label It. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2016).
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety; Spend time with family/friends
25; 12; 14
Plan: With the next upset person, I will start with 'It seems like' and name the feeling, and never say 'I understand'. If it is me they are angry with, I will list their complaints about me before they do.
anger, angry, upset, emotions, empathy, calm, conflict, customer, complaint, boss, partner, kids, tantrum, tension, fear, negotiation, defuse, listening, difficult people, communication
Someone is angry or anxious, and you either ignore it or tell them to calm down. Both make it worse.
Next time someone is upset, say 'It seems like' or 'It sounds like' and name what you think they feel. Then be quiet.
Name the other person's feeling out loud: 'It seems like you are frustrated.' A named emotion loses its heat.
Feeling Good
Single Model
David D. Burns
Not started
Catch my all-or-nothing thinking after setbacks. One bad result is not everything.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Burns lists ten distortions: all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralisation, mental filter, disqualifying the positive, jumping to conclusions, magnification, emotional reasoning, should statements, labelling and personalisation. Cognitive therapy is one of the most tested treatments in psychology, and studies found that reading this book itself helped many people with mild to moderate depression. Likely to trip me up: Burns says feelings are not facts, but a distorted thought feels exactly as true as an accurate one, so I will not want to question it. Note: Burns says the book does not replace professional treatment, especially when depression is severe. (Source: Feeling Good, Ch. 3.)
Defusion (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): another way to loosen a thought's grip, without arguing with it. It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): the oldest version of the same idea.
Mindset & Emotions
The Ten Cognitive Distortions
Ch. 3, Understanding Your Moods: You Feel the Way You Think. Starts on p. 28 (revised and updated edition, 1999).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve mental health / be happier; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety
15; 04; 27; 12
Plan: For two weeks I will write down the thought behind each bad mood and name the distortion in it. I will keep the list of ten on my phone.
negative thoughts, overthinking, self-talk, depressed, low mood, sad, anxiety, all or nothing, catastrophising, mind reading, should, labels, self-esteem, failure, useless, guilt, pessimism, cbt, thinking, mood
One bad review and you think 'I am useless at everything'. You believe the thought completely, because it feels true.
Write down one upsetting thought from today. Check it against the list: all-or-nothing, overgeneralising, mind reading, fortune telling, 'should', labelling. Which one is it?
Your mood follows your thoughts, and painful thoughts are usually twisted in one of ten common ways. Spot the twist and the mood shifts.
Never Split the Difference
Single Model
Chris Voss and Tahl Raz
Not started
Find out what my manager really wants before I propose anything. Pitching too early is the usual mistake.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Voss says mirroring works because people are drawn to what is similar, and it makes the other side explain themselves further. He cites a study where waiters who repeated orders back word for word got much bigger tips than those who used praise. Likely to trip me up: Voss says the tone matters more than the words. A mirror said flatly or sarcastically sounds like mockery, and the hard part is staying silent afterwards. (Source: Never Split the Difference, Ch. 2.)
Be Interested, Not Interesting (How to Win Friends, Dale Carnegie): people open up to real attention. Listen for Feelings and Needs (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): reflect before you respond.
People & Communication
Mirroring
Ch. 2, Be a Mirror. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2016).
Improve relationships / communicate; Save money / spend less; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 03; 17
Plan: In my next work discussion, I will mirror the key words at least three times and wait out the silence each time, before I give any view of my own.
negotiation, listening, rapport, conversation, questions, salary, price, sales, interview, boss, customer, conflict, silence, awkward, information, trust, talking, communication, persuade, curious
You do not know what the other person really wants, and direct questions make them guarded.
In one conversation today, repeat the last few words someone says, with a curious tone, then stay silent for a few seconds.
Repeat the last one to three words the person said, as a question. They will keep talking and tell you more.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Single Model
Dale Carnegie
Not started
Own my mistakes faster at work. Defending them wastes time and costs trust.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Carnegie says if you criticise yourself first, the other person usually takes a generous, forgiving line and plays the mistake down. He tells of doing this with a police officer over his unleashed dog. Likely to trip me up: it has to be real. Saying sorry as a tactic, or adding a 'but', cancels it. (Source: How to Win Friends and Influence People, Part Three, Ch. 3.)
Growth Mindset (Mindset, Carol Dweck): a mistake is information, not a verdict on you. Verbal Judo (Feeling Good, David Burns): agree with the truth in a criticism and the attack loses force.
People & Communication
If You're Wrong, Admit It Quickly
Part Three, Ch. 3, 'If You're Wrong, Admit It'. Page not verified.
Improve relationships / communicate; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 27; 12
Plan: The next time I am wrong, I will say so before anyone else does, say what I will do about it, and leave out the excuses.
mistake, mistakes, wrong, apologise, apologize, sorry, defensive, ego, pride, blame, excuses, boss, work, partner, trust, honesty, criticism, conflict, perfectionism, relationships
You made a mistake and you defend it, because admitting it feels like losing. The defence costs more than the mistake.
Think of one mistake you have been defending this week. Go to the person and say plainly that you got it wrong.
When you are wrong, say so quickly and fully. It disarms the other person and ends the fight before it starts.
Nonviolent Communication
Single Model
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Not started
Be the person friends can talk to. A habit of fixing things makes people stop sharing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rosenberg lists the things we do instead of empathy: advising, one-upping, educating, consoling, story-telling, shutting down, sympathising, interrogating, explaining and correcting. He says people need to feel fully heard before they want solutions. Likely to trip me up: Rosenberg says empathy needs me to be present, and I cannot give it when I am drained or defensive myself. Parroting the words without the attention does not work. (Source: Nonviolent Communication, Ch. 7.)
Be Interested, Not Interesting (How to Win Friends, Dale Carnegie): attention is the gift. Label the Emotion (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): name the emotion and it settles.
People & Communication
Listen for Feelings and Needs (Do Not Fix)
Ch. 7, Receiving Empathically. Page not verified (PuddleDancer Press, 3rd edition, 2015).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve relationships / communicate; Improve mental health / be happier
14; 25; 04
Plan: When someone brings me a problem, I will ask myself if they have asked for advice. If not, I will only listen and reflect back what they seem to feel and need, until they have said everything.
listening, empathy, advice, fixing, support, friends, partner, spouse, kids, teenagers, venting, comfort, understand, presence, helping, emotional, conversations, caring, reassurance, relationships
Someone shares a problem and you jump in with a solution or 'it will be fine'. They go quiet, and you wonder why.
In one conversation today, hold back all advice. Just reflect what you heard: 'It sounds like you are feeling (this) because you need (this)?'
When someone is upset, do not advise, reassure or fix. Listen for what they feel and need, and say it back.
Feeling Good
Single Model
David D. Burns
Not started
Take criticism at work without crumbling or snapping. Neither one makes the criticism more useful.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Burns says it is not the criticism that upsets you but your thoughts about it. If the criticism is wrong, there is nothing to be upset about. If it is right, you can simply fix the error. He says agreeing with the critic, even in part, takes the wind out of their sails. Likely to trip me up: Burns says to avoid defending myself at first, which is the hardest part. And the agreement has to be honest. Sarcastic agreement makes it worse. (Source: Feeling Good, Ch. 6.)
If You're Wrong, Admit It Quickly (How to Win Friends, Dale Carnegie): agreement takes the fight out of people. Label the Emotion (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): name their feeling first.
People & Communication
Verbal Judo (the Disarming Technique)
Ch. 6, Verbal Judo: Learn to Talk Back When You're Under the Fire of Criticism. Starts on p. 131 (revised and updated edition, 1999).
Improve relationships / communicate; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 27; 12
Plan: When criticised, I will do three things in order: ask specific questions to find out exactly what they mean, agree with whatever is true in it, and only then give my own view calmly.
criticism, criticised, feedback, defensive, hurt, angry, boss, partner, parents, review, insult, rude, conflict, self-esteem, sensitive, arguments, calm, assertive, confidence, communication
Someone criticises you and you either crumble or hit back. Both leave you feeling worse.
Next time you are criticised, ask one question to understand what they mean. Then find one part you can honestly agree with, and say so.
When criticised, ask questions to understand it, then find something true in it and agree. The attack has nothing left to push against.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Single Model
Dale Carnegie
Not started
Get better at asking for things at work. Explaining why I need something rarely moves anyone.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Carnegie's image is fishing. He likes strawberries and cream, but he baits the hook with worms, because that is what the fish want. Likely to trip me up: Carnegie warns this is not manipulation. Both sides should gain, and if I fake interest in what they want, people sense it. (Source: How to Win Friends and Influence People, Part One, Ch. 3.)
Label the Emotion (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): work from the other side's view of the world. Requests, Not Demands (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): a request only works if it meets their needs too.
People & Communication
Talk About What They Want
Part One, Ch. 3, 'He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him'. Starts on p. 35 (Simon & Schuster paperback, ISBN 9780671027032).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 13; 17
Plan: Before each request this week, I will write down what the other person wants and open with that. I will only mention what I want after I have shown how it helps them.
influence, persuade, convince, motivation, requests, asking, sales, pitch, interview, boss, team, kids, parenting, negotiation, selfish, listening, wants, needs, cooperation, leadership
You explain why you need something, again and again, and the other person still does not care.
Before your next request, write one line: what does this person want, and how does my request help them get it? Lead with that.
To move someone, start from what they want, not what you want, and show how your idea gets them there.
Never Split the Difference
Single Model
Chris Voss and Tahl Raz
Not started
Push back on unreasonable deadlines without a fight. A good question does it better than a no.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Voss says these questions give the other side the feeling of control while making them think about my constraints. He calls 'How am I supposed to do that?' the most useful one. Likely to trip me up: Voss says the tone has to be a real request for help, not a complaint. And I have to keep my emotions in check, because the question said with an edge becomes an attack. Note: these methods come from FBI hostage work and Voss's own practice, not from controlled studies. (Source: Never Split the Difference, Ch. 7.)
Requests, Not Demands (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): leave the other person their choice. Talk About What They Want (How to Win Friends, Dale Carnegie): let them feel the idea is theirs.
People & Communication
Calibrated Questions
Ch. 7, Create the Illusion of Control. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2016).
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety; Save money / spend less; Be more punctual / manage time
25; 12; 03; 23
Plan: I will prepare three 'how' or 'what' questions before my next tough conversation, such as 'What about this is important to you?' and 'How can we solve this?' I will avoid 'why', which sounds like an accusation.
negotiation, questions, how, what, salary, raise, price, rent, deadline, workload, boss, client, pushback, saying no, boundaries, unfair, pressure, control, problem solving, communication
You say no to an unfair ask and it turns into a standoff. Or you say yes and resent it.
Next time you get a demand you cannot meet, do not refuse. Ask calmly: 'How am I supposed to do that?'
Ask open 'how' and 'what' questions so the other side works on your problem. 'How am I supposed to do that?'
Feeling Good
Single Model
David D. Burns
Not started
Turn journaling into something that changes my mood, not just records it. A structure helps more than a blank page.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Burns says the key is to write the thoughts down instead of doing it in your head, because writing forces objectivity. He asks for about fifteen minutes a day. Likely to trip me up: Burns warns not to write feelings in the first column, only the thought behind them, and says the reply must be one I actually believe. A cheerful slogan I do not believe does nothing. (Source: Feeling Good, Ch. 4.)
The Ten Cognitive Distortions (same book): the list you check the thought against. Observe Without Evaluating (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): separate the fact from the verdict.
Mindset & Emotions
The Triple-Column Technique
Ch. 4, Start by Building Self-Esteem. Starts on p. 53 (revised and updated edition, 1999).
Journal / self-reflect; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop overthinking / rumination; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
24; 04; 15; 27
Plan: I will spend ten to fifteen minutes each evening on the three columns, for whatever thought bothered me most that day. I will write the replies as I would to a friend.
journaling, journal, writing, diary, self-criticism, inner critic, self-esteem, negative thoughts, self-talk, low mood, confidence, reflection, cbt, exercise, worksheet, thoughts, realistic, worthless, shame, habit
You try to think positive in your head. The negative voice is faster and louder, and it wins.
Draw three columns. Write one self-critical thought in the first, name its distortion in the second, and write a fair, realistic reply in the third.
Three columns on paper: the automatic thought, the distortion in it, and a realistic reply. Writing it down is what makes it work.
Nonviolent Communication
Single Model
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Not started
Ask for help at home in a way that gets a clear yes or no. Hints and complaints get neither.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rosenberg says to ask for what we do want, not what we do not want, and to use clear action language. He tells of a wife who asked her husband to spend less time at work. He took up golf. Likely to trip me up: Rosenberg's test of a request is what I do when the person says no. If I blame or guilt them, it was a demand, and they will remember that next time. (Source: Nonviolent Communication, Ch. 6.)
Script the Critical Moves (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): vague goals stall, specific moves happen. Calibrated Questions (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): ask in a way that leaves them a choice.
People & Communication
Requests, Not Demands
Ch. 6, Requesting That Which Would Enrich Life. Page not verified (PuddleDancer Press, 3rd edition, 2015).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Be more productive / organised
25; 14; 13
Plan: I will rewrite my three most common complaints as specific requests, each one a concrete action in positive words. After asking, I will check what the person heard.
asking, requests, demands, needs, vague, clear, specific, help, partner, spouse, kids, team, delegation, nagging, expectations, disappointment, no, boundaries, assertive, communication
You say 'I want you to respect me more' or 'stop ignoring me'. The person has no idea what to actually do.
Turn one vague wish into a request: what exactly do you want the person to do, by when? Ask it, and accept the answer.
Ask for a specific action in positive words, and be ready to hear no. If no is not allowed, it was a demand.
Feeling Good
Single Model
David D. Burns
Not started
Stop waiting to feel motivated before I exercise. If action comes first, I can start without the feeling.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Burns says motivation does not come first, action does, and that doing something, however small, is what produces the wish to do more. His tools are a daily activity schedule and writing down predictions of how hard or unpleasant a task will be, then checking them. Likely to trip me up: Burns lists the mindsets behind putting things off, like hopelessness, overwhelming yourself, fear of failure and perfectionism. If I plan too much at once, I will confirm the belief that I cannot do it. (Source: Feeling Good, Ch. 5.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the start tiny. Eat That Frog (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): start on the hard thing before you think about it.
Productivity & Focus
Action Comes Before Motivation
Ch. 5, Do-Nothingism: How to Beat It. Starts on p. 81 (revised and updated edition, 1999).
Beat procrastination / focus; Exercise / move daily; Improve mental health / be happier; Be more productive / organised
07; 01; 04; 13
Plan: Each morning I will write a simple hour-by-hour plan, and in the evening note what I did and how much satisfaction each thing gave me, from 0 to 5. I will also test my predictions, like 'this will be awful', against what really happened.
procrastination, motivation, lazy, stuck, unmotivated, waiting, mood, energy, depressed, low, avoid, start, tired, overwhelmed, guilt, tasks, study, chores, exercise, momentum
You wait until you feel ready or in the mood. The mood never comes, and the longer you wait the worse you feel.
Pick one task you are avoiding and do just the first five minutes, without waiting to feel like it. Rate how you feel before and after.
You do not need to feel like it first. Action comes first, and the motivation shows up after you have started.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Single Model
Dale Carnegie
Not started
Become someone people enjoy talking to. The shortcut is to stop performing and start asking.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Carnegie says people are interested in themselves above all, and that a good listener is rarer and more welcome than a good talker. He tells of being called a great conversationalist at a dinner where he had hardly spoken. Likely to trip me up: Carnegie insists the interest has to be real. Asking questions as a technique, while thinking about my next line, is exactly what he warns against. (Source: How to Win Friends and Influence People, Part Two, Ch. 1 and Ch. 4.)
Conversation, Not Connection (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): real talk is what builds closeness. Listen for Feelings and Needs (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): listen for what the person feels and needs.
People & Communication
Be Interested, Not Interesting
Part Two, Ch. 1, 'Do This and You'll Be Welcome Anywhere' (starts on p. 55), and Ch. 4, 'An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist' (Simon & Schuster paperback, ISBN 9780671027032).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve relationships / communicate
14; 25
Plan: In every conversation this week, I will ask at least two real questions and listen to the whole answer before I speak. I will try to remember one detail to bring up next time.
friends, friendship, lonely, shy, conversation, listening, small talk, social, networking, dating, awkward, boring, popular, likeable, charisma, introvert, interest, questions, attention, relationships
In conversations you wait for your turn to talk, and people drift away without you knowing why.
In your next conversation, ask two questions about the other person and do not bring the talk back to yourself.
You make more friends by being truly interested in other people than by trying to get them interested in you.
The Happiness Trap
Single Model
Russ Harris
Not started
Build a short daily mindfulness habit I will actually keep. Ten breaths is small enough to do anywhere.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harris says the skill is simply noticing where your attention is and bringing it back, and that any activity, from showering to washing dishes, can be the practice. Likely to trip me up: Harris says the mind will wander hundreds of times and that this is normal, not failure. Each return is the exercise. Expecting a calm, blank mind is the usual reason people quit. (Source: The Happiness Trap, Ch. 17 to Ch. 20.)
Do Not Picture Your Whole Life at Once (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): stay with the present moment. Solitude Deprivation (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): a mind with no quiet cannot settle.
Mindset & Emotions
Connection (Come Back to Now)
Ch. 20, If You're Breathing, You're Alive. Starts on p. 169 in the first edition (Exisle Publishing, ISBN 9780908988907). The connection chapters begin at Ch. 17, The Time Machine, p. 149.
Meditate / mindfulness; Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Spend time with family/friends
21; 12; 15; 14
Plan: I will attach ten slow breaths to something I already do each morning, like waiting for the kettle. Later I will add the same ten breaths before meals.
meditation, meditate, mindfulness, breathing, breath, present, focus, distracted, mind wandering, calm, stress, anxiety, overthinking, relax, awareness, attention, grounding, peace, restless, practice
You are at dinner or with your kids, but your head is at work or replaying an argument. You miss what is in front of you.
Take ten slow breaths. Notice the air moving in and out. Each time your mind wanders, note where it went and come back to the breath.
Most distress lives in the past or the future. Bring full attention to what you are doing right now, using your breath as the anchor.
Why We Sleep
Single Model
Matthew Walker
Not started
Fall asleep faster by working with the two forces instead of against them. Late coffee and irregular bedtimes fight both.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Walker explains that caffeine blocks the signal of sleep pressure without removing it, and that it stays in the body for many hours. His first tip for better sleep is a regular schedule. Likely to trip me up: Walker says whether you are a morning or evening type is largely genetic, so an owl forcing a very early bedtime will struggle. Note: the two-process model is standard sleep science from the 1980s. Some of the book's bigger health statistics have been disputed by other researchers, so I am using only this core part. (Source: Why We Sleep, Ch. 2 and the Appendix.)
The Habit Loop (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): a fixed bedtime is a cue your body learns. Shutdown Ritual (Deep Work, Cal Newport): end the workday so the evening can wind down.
Systems & Strategy
The Two Forces of Sleep
Ch. 2, Caffeine, Jet Lag, and Melatonin. Starts on p. 12 in the Scribner paperback and p. 13 in the Penguin 2018 edition. The twelve tips are in the Appendix.
Sleep better; Be more punctual / manage time; Manage stress / anxiety
05; 23; 12
Plan: I will stop caffeine after lunch and go to bed and wake up at the same time every day for two weeks, weekends included.
sleep, sleepy, tired, insomnia, caffeine, coffee, tea, energy drinks, nap, naps, jet lag, night owl, morning, waking, bedtime, body clock, afternoon slump, alarm, schedule, rhythm
You are wide awake at midnight and dead at 3 pm, and you do not know why.
Set a caffeine cut-off for today, at least eight hours before bed, and notice how you fall asleep tonight.
Two things decide when you feel sleepy: your 24-hour body clock, and sleep pressure that builds every hour you are awake.
Good Habits, Bad Habits
Single Model
Wendy Wood
Not started
Make the healthy choice the lazy choice at home. When I am tired I will take whatever is easiest, so that has to be the good option.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Wood cites phone-location data showing people who lived about 3.7 miles from their gym went five or more times a month, while those about 5.1 miles away went once. A tiny difference in hassle made a large difference in behaviour. She builds on Kurt Lewin's idea of driving and restraining forces. Likely to trip me up: Wood says we underrate friction because we like to think our choices come from our intentions. I will be tempted to skip the boring rearranging and rely on wanting it more. (Source: Good Habits, Bad Habits, Ch. 6.)
The Ability Chain (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): find the link that makes it hard. Nudge (Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): design the choice so the good option is the easy one.
Systems & Strategy
Friction
Ch. 6, Context. Page not verified (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2019).
Eat healthier; Lose weight; Exercise / move daily; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Cut phone / social-media use
02; 08; 01; 19; 06
Plan: I will put fruit and water where I can see and reach them, and move snacks to a high shelf in a closed box. I will keep my workout things packed and by the door.
friction, hassle, easy, convenient, environment, kitchen, fridge, gym, distance, snacks, junk food, diet, weight loss, phone, apps, lazy, effort, design, setup, default
The good habit needs ten small steps and the bad one needs none. So the bad one wins every tired evening.
Pick one good habit and remove one step from it. Pick one bad habit and add one step to it.
Small hassles decide behaviour. Add friction to what you want to stop and remove it from what you want to do.
Switch
Single Model
Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Not started
Find the days when I already eat well and work out why. Copying my own good days is easier than fixing all my bad ones.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the Heaths tell how Jerry Sternin tackled child malnutrition in Vietnamese villages. Instead of analysing poverty, he found the few poor families whose children were healthy, saw what those mothers did differently, and spread those practices. Likely to trip me up: the Heaths say our minds are drawn to problems, and we spend far more time analysing what went wrong than what went right. It will feel too simple. (Source: Switch, Ch. 2.)
Golden Behaviors (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): build on what you already do willingly. The Outside View (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): look at real cases, not theory.
Thinking & Reasoning
Find the Bright Spots
Ch. 2, Find the Bright Spots. Page not verified (Broadway Books, 2010).
Eat healthier; Lose weight; Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised
02; 08; 25; 13
Plan: For two weeks I will mark the days that went well and note what was different: what I ate for breakfast, when I shopped, who I was with. Then I will repeat those conditions on purpose.
problem, stuck, failing, what works, success, exceptions, diet, weight loss, eating, kids, parenting, team, change, solutions, positive, progress, copy, repeat, hope, analysis
You study your failures in detail and end up with a long list of problems and no idea what to do.
Think of the last time the problem did not happen, the day you did eat well or did get to bed on time. Write down what was different that day.
Do not ask what is broken. Ask what is already working, even a little, and how to do more of it.
Good Habits, Bad Habits
Single Model
Wendy Wood
Not started
Stop relying on willpower at the biscuit shelf. I want to not walk past it in the first place.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Wood describes studies where people who scored high on self-control reported fewer temptations and less inner struggle, not more success at resisting. Their good habits did the work. Likely to trip me up: Wood says our culture treats self-denial as a virtue, so arranging life to avoid temptation can feel like cheating. It is what the successful people were doing all along. (Source: Good Habits, Bad Habits, Ch. 5.)
The Four Laws (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the cue invisible. Precommitment Pacts (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): decide before the tempting moment.
Habits & Behavior Change
Self-Control Is a Setup, Not a Struggle
Ch. 5, What About Self-Control? Page not verified (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2019).
Lose weight; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Eat healthier; Reduce debt / control spending
08; 19; 02; 22
Plan: I will find my two most common temptation moments and change the situation for each, so they come up less. I will judge myself on the setup, not on how well I resist.
willpower, self-control, discipline, temptation, resist, weak, guilt, junk food, snacks, sweets, diet, weight loss, phone, shopping, spending, environment, avoid, struggle, character, shame
You think disciplined people are just stronger than you, so every slip feels like a character flaw.
Pick one temptation you fight every day. Change one thing so you do not meet it at all: a different route, a different shelf, a different time.
People with great self-control do not resist more. They set up their lives so they meet fewer temptations.
Indistractable
Single Model
Nir Eyal
Not started
Cut the number of things that are allowed to interrupt me. Most interruptions are ones nobody ever chose.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Eyal draws on BJ Fogg's model, where a behaviour needs a prompt to happen, so removing the unhelpful prompts removes many distractions at the source. He describes hospitals cutting medication errors sharply when nurses wore vests asking not to be interrupted. Likely to trip me up: Eyal says external triggers are not the root cause. If the urge comes from inside, I will check the phone with no ping at all. (Source: Indistractable, Ch. 13 and Ch. 14.)
The Four Laws (Atomic Habits, James Clear): remove the cue and the habit loses its start. Attention Residue (Deep Work, Cal Newport): each ping leaves a bit of your mind behind.
Productivity & Focus
Is This Trigger Serving Me?
Ch. 13, Ask the Critical Question. Page not verified (BenBella Books, 2019).
Cut phone / social-media use; Limit multitasking / context-switching; Beat procrastination / focus
06; 28; 07
Plan: I will go through every app on my phone and turn off alerts that do not serve me. At work I will put up a simple do-not-disturb sign for one focus block a day and see what happens.
notifications, pings, alerts, interruptions, phone, email, whatsapp, slack, meetings, colleagues, distraction, focus, attention, open office, busy, reactive, apps, badges, control, triggers
Your phone, inbox and colleagues decide what you pay attention to, all day, and it feels normal.
Go through your phone notifications today. For each app ask if its alerts serve you. Switch off every one that fails.
For every ping, badge and interruption, ask: is this trigger serving me, or am I serving it?
Good Habits, Bad Habits
Single Model
Wendy Wood
Not started
Make my walk something I enjoy while doing it, not something I put up with for a future result.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Wood explains that dopamine marks what to repeat within a short window of the action, so the reward has to come during or straight after. She says rewards that are part of the activity itself work best. Likely to trip me up: Wood says delayed rewards like a monthly bonus or a number on the scale do little to build the habit itself, even if they motivate a decision. If the activity stays unpleasant, I will keep needing willpower. (Source: Good Habits, Bad Habits, Ch. 8.)
Emotions Create Habits (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): feel good at once and the habit wires in. Cravings Drive the Loop (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): the brain learns to expect the reward.
Habits & Behavior Change
Rewards Must Be Immediate
Ch. 8, Reward. Page not verified (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2019).
Exercise / move daily; Lose weight; Read / learn more; Save money / spend less
01; 08; 09; 03
Plan: I will save one podcast I love for walks only. I will pick the route I like best, not the most efficient one.
reward, rewards, motivation, enjoy, fun, boring, exercise, gym, walking, diet, saving, study, results, slow, patience, dopamine, pleasure, habit, stick, consistency
You exercise for a result three months away. Day to day it just feels like a cost, so the habit never forms.
Add something you enjoy to the habit itself: a favourite podcast only while walking, or a route you like.
A reward builds a habit only if you feel it during the action or right after. A payoff next month teaches your brain nothing.
Meditations
Single Model
Marcus Aurelius
Not started
Stop spiralling about the whole year ahead. The present task is almost always manageable. The imagined pile is not.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Marcus tells himself that neither the past nor the future weighs on him, only the present, and that the present shrinks once you mark off its limits. This is close to what modern therapies teach for worry. Likely to trip me up: this is not a ban on planning. Marcus is talking about being crushed by imagined troubles, and the hard part is telling the two apart in the moment. (Source: Meditations, 8.36.)
Solitude Deprivation (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): give the mind quiet time so worries get processed. One Oil Barrel at a Time (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): go as far as you can see.
Mindset & Emotions
Do Not Picture Your Whole Life at Once
Book 8, section 36. The numbering is the same in every translation.
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety; Sleep better
15; 12; 05
Plan: When I notice the spiral, I will write down only what is in front of me right now and what it needs. Anything about the future goes on a separate list for a set planning time.
overthinking, worry, worrying, anxiety, anxious, future, overwhelmed, what if, catastrophising, night, sleep, stress, fear, present, mindfulness, calm, panic, uncertainty, rumination, stoic
You lie awake stacking up everything that could go wrong this year, and the pile feels impossible.
Next time you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself: what, exactly, is unbearable about right now? Answer only that.
Do not load yourself with every future trouble at once. Ask only: what in this present moment can I not bear?
Why We Sleep
Single Model
Matthew Walker
Not started
Stop trading sleep for study time. The hours stolen from sleep are the hours that would have saved what was learned.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Walker describes studies where a night of sleep after learning improved recall, and where people deprived of sleep before learning took in far less the next day. Skill memory, like a piano sequence, also improved after sleep without extra practice. Likely to trip me up: Walker says the lost sleep cannot simply be made up later. Sleeping well three nights on does not rescue what was learned on the day of the all-nighter. (Source: Why We Sleep, Ch. 6.)
Drop (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): stepping away lets the mind do its work. Make It Stick (Peter Brown and others): spacing beats cramming.
Learning & Knowledge
Sleep Saves What You Learn
Ch. 6, Your Mother and Shakespeare Knew: The Benefits of Sleep for the Brain. Starts on p. 107 (Scribner paperback and Penguin 2018).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill; Sleep better
09; 17; 05
Plan: In the weeks before an exam or a deadline, I will fix my sleep time first and fit study around it. I will review the hardest material in the evening, then sleep on it.
study, studying, exam, exams, learning, memory, remember, forget, cramming, all-nighter, revision, skill, practice, music, sport, language, students, college, sleep, focus
You stay up late to study or practise more, and the next day half of it is gone.
Tonight, stop studying or practising in time to get a full night's sleep. Test yourself on it tomorrow.
Sleep before learning clears space for new facts. Sleep after learning files them into long-term memory.
Digital Minimalism
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Have fewer, deeper conversations with the people who matter. Reacting to their posts is not the same as knowing how they are.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport draws on Sherry Turkle's research, which found that face-to-face and voice conversation is where empathy and closeness get built, and that text-based contact cannot replace it. His practices are to stop clicking like, batch your texting, and hold conversation office hours. Likely to trip me up: Newport admits you will drop out of some people's lives this way, and says that is the price of going deeper with the rest. (Source: Digital Minimalism, Ch. 5.)
How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie): give people your real interest and attention. Solitude Deprivation (same book): less input, more depth.
People & Communication
Conversation, Not Connection
Ch. 5, Don't Click 'Like'. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve relationships / communicate; Cut phone / social-media use
14; 25; 06
Plan: I will stop using likes and comments as a way of keeping in touch. I will keep fixed times when friends know they can call me, and use texts only to set up a real talk.
friends, friendship, family, lonely, loneliness, relationships, texting, whatsapp, likes, comments, social media, calls, talking, conversation, connection, isolated, distant, parents, partner, time
You are in touch with everyone and close to almost no one. Hundreds of small taps have replaced the long talks.
Pick one person you usually just text or react to. Call them today, or fix a time to meet.
Likes and quick texts are connection. Real talk, by voice or in person, is conversation. Only the second one feeds a relationship.
Eat That Frog!
Single Model
Brian Tracy
Not started
Spend my best hours on the two tasks that matter, not the eight that are easy.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tracy says the most valuable tasks are often the hardest and most complex, and the payoff for finishing them is far bigger than for the rest. Likely to trip me up: Tracy warns about the pull to clear up small things first. He says that habit grows, and you end up always starting with the low-value work. Note: the 80/20 split comes from the economist Vilfredo Pareto and is a rough pattern, not an exact law. (Source: Eat That Frog!, Ch. 3.)
Eat That Frog (same book): the frog is usually one of the top 20 percent. The One Thing (Gary Keller): what is the one thing that makes the rest easier?
Productivity & Focus
The 80/20 Rule
Ch. 3, Apply the 80/20 Rule to Everything. Starts on p. 18 (Berrett-Koehler, 3rd edition, 2017).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Be more punctual / manage time
13; 07; 23
Plan: Every Monday I will list the week's tasks and mark the top two by value. Those get my first work block each day before anything else.
priorities, busy, productivity, overwhelmed, tasks, to-do, list, important, results, focus, time, pareto, 80/20, effort, value, procrastination, work, study, goals, less
You are busy all day on the easy 80 percent, and the two or three tasks that really count stay untouched.
List ten things you have to do this week. Circle the two that would make the biggest difference. Start one of them now.
About 20 percent of your tasks produce about 80 percent of your results. Find those few and do them first.
Tiny Habits
Single Model
BJ Fogg
Not started
Cut down snacking by taking it apart. 'Stop snacking' is too big. 'No biscuits at my desk at 4 pm' is something I can work on.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Fogg's order is to create new good habits first, then stop the old one by working on its prompt, ability and motivation, and only if that fails, swap it for a new behaviour. He says starting with the easiest strand builds skill and confidence. Likely to trip me up: Fogg says people go straight for the hardest strand, the one that bothers them most, and fail. He also says the phrase 'break a habit' sets the wrong picture, as if one hard push would do it. (Source: Tiny Habits, Ch. 7.)
Golden Rule of Habit Change (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): swap the routine, keep the reward. B = MAP (same book): remove the prompt, make it harder, or lower the motivation.
Habits & Behavior Change
Untangle the Knot (Stop a Bad Habit in Steps)
Ch. 7, Untangling Bad Habits: A Systematic Solution. Page not verified (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2020).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Lose weight; Quit smoking / vaping; Cut phone / social-media use; Drink less alcohol
19; 08; 10; 06; 11
Plan: I will list every specific snacking moment in my week. I will start with the easiest one and try, in order, removing the prompt, making it harder to do, and only then swapping in something else.
bad habit, quit, stop, break, snacking, junk food, sugar, smoking, drinking, phone, scrolling, nail biting, willpower, relapse, failure, guilt, steps, specific, tangle, overwhelmed
You try to break a big bad habit in one go, fail, and decide you have no willpower.
Write your bad habit down as a list of specific moments, like 'snack at 4 pm at my desk'. Pick the easiest one on the list and work only on that.
A bad habit is a tangle of small behaviours. Pick the easiest strand, fix that first, and work up to the hard ones.
Tiny Habits
Single Model
BJ Fogg
Not started
Find the one thing that makes cooking at home a hassle, and fix only that. Trying harder rarely works. Making it easier usually does.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Fogg gives three ways to make a behaviour easier: build your skill, get tools or resources, or make the behaviour tiny. He calls the smallest first move a starter step. Likely to trip me up: Fogg says people rely on motivation to push through a hard behaviour, and motivation drops. If I do not find the real weak link, I will fix the wrong thing. (Source: Tiny Habits, Ch. 3.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): cut the time link to almost nothing. Friction (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): small hassles decide what we do.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Ability Chain
Ch. 3, Ability: Easy Does It. Page not verified (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2020).
Eat healthier; Exercise / move daily; Lose weight; Be more productive / organised
02; 01; 08; 13
Plan: I will go through the five links for cooking at home and find the weakest one. If it is time, I will prep on Sunday. If it is thinking, I will fix a simple weekly menu.
hard, difficult, hassle, effort, time, money, tired, busy, lazy, easy, simplify, tools, routine, exercise, cooking, meal prep, flossing, study, excuses, barriers
You know the habit is good for you, but something about it is a hassle, and you cannot say what.
For one habit you avoid, ask: what is making this hard to do? Is it time, money, physical effort, thinking, or that it does not fit my day? Fix that one link.
A habit is only as easy as its weakest link: time, money, physical effort, mental effort, or fit with your routine.
Tiny Habits
Single Model
BJ Fogg
Not started
Work out why I keep skipping one habit, without blaming my character. One of three parts is missing, and I can find out which.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Fogg says to troubleshoot in that order, prompt, then ability, then motivation, because the first two are the easiest to fix. He also says motivation and ability trade off: the easier a thing is, the less motivation it needs. Likely to trip me up: Fogg says most people start with motivation and try to pump themselves up, which is the least reliable of the three. Note: this is a design model from Fogg's Stanford lab, widely used in practice. It is a framework, not a single experimental result. (Source: Tiny Habits, Ch. 1.)
The Four Laws (Atomic Habits, James Clear): cue, craving, response and reward cover the same ground. Is This Trigger Serving Me? (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): remove the prompt and the behaviour stops.
Habits & Behavior Change
B = MAP (the Fogg Behavior Model)
Ch. 1, The Elements of Behavior. Page not verified (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2020).
Exercise / move daily; Lose weight; Eat healthier; Quit smoking / vaping
01; 08; 02; 10
Plan: For the habit I keep skipping, I will check the prompt first, then how hard it is, and only last my motivation. I will change one thing and watch for a week.
habit, habits, behaviour, behavior, motivation, willpower, lazy, guilt, failing, reminder, prompt, easy, hard, exercise, diet, flossing, weight loss, change, troubleshoot, why
You blame yourself for not doing something. Really, one of three parts was missing: you did not want it enough, it was too hard, or nothing reminded you.
Take one habit that is not happening. Ask three questions in this order: is there a prompt, is it easy enough, do I want it? Fix the first one that fails.
A behaviour happens only when motivation, ability and a prompt come together at the same moment.
Tiny Habits
Single Model
BJ Fogg
Not started
Find a way to get fitter that I would actually keep doing. Forcing a habit I hate has an expiry date.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Fogg's rule is to help yourself do what you already want to do. He says motivation comes in waves and cannot be relied on, so the match matters more than the ambition. Likely to trip me up: Fogg says an abstract aim like 'get healthy' is not a behaviour at all. If I skip the step of listing specific behaviours, I am back to vague resolutions. (Source: Tiny Habits, Ch. 2.)
Find the Bright Spots (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): look for what already works for you. Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): choose habits that fit who you want to be.
Habits & Behavior Change
Golden Behaviors (Focus Mapping)
Ch. 2, Motivation: Focus on Matching. Page not verified (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2020).
Exercise / move daily; Lose weight; Eat healthier; Learn a skill / upskill
01; 08; 02; 17
Plan: I will list ten or more ways to move my body and sort them by how much they would help and how likely I am to do them. I will start only with the ones that score high on both.
motivation, goals, habits, exercise, diet, weight loss, should, guilt, hate, quit, choose, options, match, enjoy, realistic, sustainable, plan, resolution, new year, failing
You copy a habit that works for someone else. You hate it, so it dies in two weeks.
Write your goal at the top of a page. List ten different behaviours that could get you there. Circle the ones you would really do and would really like.
Choose behaviours that work, that you can do, and that you want to do. Drop the ones you only feel you should do.
Meditations
Single Model
Marcus Aurelius
Not started
Stop being thrown by difficult people at work. Their behaviour is predictable, so being surprised by it is optional.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Marcus opens Book 2 with this exact morning reminder. He adds that such people act out of ignorance of good and bad, and that we are made to work together, like the upper and lower teeth. Likely to trip me up: the point is not to become cynical about people. Marcus pairs the expectation with the reminder that they are his kin and cannot really harm him. Without that second half it just becomes bracing for a fight. (Source: Meditations, 2.1.)
Plan for the Hard Moment (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): decide your response before the moment. It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event (same book): their behaviour is theirs, your reaction is yours.
People & Communication
Expect Difficult People in the Morning
Book 2, section 1. The numbering is the same in every translation.
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety; Spend time with family/friends
25; 12; 14
Plan: Each morning I will take one minute to name who is likely to be difficult today and how. I will decide my response in advance, and remind myself they act from their own confusion, not to target me.
anger, angry, rude, difficult people, boss, colleagues, customers, family, conflict, arguments, irritation, patience, morning, prepare, expectations, reaction, calm, relationships, resentment, stoic
One rude person catches you off guard and you carry the anger around for hours.
Tomorrow morning, take one minute to picture the difficult people you are likely to meet and decide how you want to respond.
Tell yourself each morning that you will meet rude and selfish people today. Then they cannot surprise you or ruin your day.
Switch
Single Model
Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Not started
Replace 'eat healthier' with two clear rules I can follow in the shop. What looks like laziness is often just not knowing what to do.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the Heaths describe a campaign in West Virginia that did not tell people to eat healthier. It told them to buy 1 percent milk instead of whole milk, and sales of low-fat milk rose sharply. They say what looks like resistance is often a lack of clarity. Likely to trip me up: the Heaths warn about decision paralysis, where more options make people freeze or choose the default. If I script ten moves at once I am back to a fuzzy goal. Note: the book's opening chapter uses a popcorn study by a researcher whose work was later discredited, and a willpower study that has not replicated. This model does not depend on either. (Source: Switch, Ch. 1 and Ch. 3.)
Plan for the Hard Moment (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): spell out the action for the key moment. The Paradox of Choice (Barry Schwartz): more options make deciding harder.
Decision-Making & Risk
Script the Critical Moves
Ch. 3, Script the Critical Moves. The 1% milk story is introduced in Ch. 1. Page not verified (Broadway Books, 2010).
Eat healthier; Lose weight; Save money / spend less; Exercise / move daily
02; 08; 03; 01
Plan: I will pick two specific food rules for the month and write them on my shopping list. I will not add more until those two are automatic.
goals, vague, resolution, healthy, diet, weight loss, eating, shopping, groceries, choices, decisions, overwhelmed, confused, specific, clear, rules, plan, simple, start, change
You set a big, fuzzy goal like 'get healthy'. Every day brings a hundred small choices, you tire of deciding, and you fall back on the old default.
Take one fuzzy goal and write the single most useful specific action for it. Make it so clear that you could not argue about whether you did it.
Vague goals stall. Turn 'eat healthier' into one specific move, like 'buy 1% milk', and people actually change.
Why We Sleep
Single Model
Matthew Walker
Not started
Protect my sleep as part of eating better. Nobody out-disciplines a brain that is short on sleep.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Walker reports brain-scan studies from his own lab where sleep-deprived people showed about 60 percent stronger reactions in the brain's emotional centre, with weaker control from the prefrontal cortex. He also describes studies where short sleep raised the hunger hormone, lowered the fullness hormone, and led people to eat more. Likely to trip me up: Walker says people who are chronically short on sleep do not notice how impaired they are. I will feel fine and blame the biscuits. Note: the appetite and emotion findings are supported by other labs. Some of the book's larger claims about disease and lifespan have been challenged, so I am leaving those out. (Source: Why We Sleep, Ch. 7 and Ch. 8.)
System 1 and System 2 (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): tiredness hands the wheel to the fast, impulsive system. Stress Makes You Habitual (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): a worn-out you runs on defaults.
Mindset & Emotions
A Tired Brain Has Weak Brakes
Ch. 7, Sleep Deprivation and the Brain, starts on p. 133. Ch. 8, Sleep Deprivation and the Body, starts on p. 164 (Scribner paperback and Penguin 2018).
Lose weight; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Improve mental health / be happier; Sleep better
08; 19; 04; 05
Plan: On days after a short night, I will plan my meals in advance and keep snacks out of reach. I will not judge my willpower on those days. I will fix the sleep instead.
sleep, tired, cravings, junk food, sugar, hunger, overeating, weight, weight loss, diet, mood, irritable, angry, anxious, impulsive, snapping, willpower, stress, late night, decisions
After a bad night you snap at people, crave junk food and give in to everything. You think it is your character. It is your sleep.
After your next bad night, treat your cravings and your temper as symptoms. Delay any big decision or argument by a day.
Short sleep turns up emotional reactions and appetite, and weakens the part of the brain that says no.
Good Habits, Bad Habits
Single Model
Wendy Wood
Not started
Use my next big change as a reset. Old cues disappear for a few weeks, and that is the cheapest time to build something new.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Wood's study of students transferring to a new university found their old habits held only if the old cues came with them. When the context changed, behaviour followed their intentions instead. Likely to trip me up: Wood says the window closes quickly. New routines form in the new place whether I plan them or not, so if I wait a month, the defaults have already set. (Source: Good Habits, Bad Habits, Ch. 11.)
The Habit Loop (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): no cue, no routine. The Digital Declutter (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): a clean break makes room for new defaults.
Habits & Behavior Change
Jump Through Windows
Ch. 11, Jump Through Windows. Page not verified (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2019).
Exercise / move daily; Eat healthier; Quit smoking / vaping; Cut phone / social-media use
01; 02; 10; 06
Plan: Before my next move or job change, I will choose one habit to install from day one and set up the new place for it before the old routines can re-form.
change, moving, new job, new city, college, hostel, marriage, baby, new year, fresh start, transition, routine, reset, habits, opportunity, travel, holiday, timing, start, disruption
You try to change in the middle of your usual life, where every room and every hour is pulling you back to the old routine.
If any change is coming up, a move, a new job, a new term, even a holiday, decide now which one habit you will start on day one.
A big life change, like a move or a new job, wipes out your old cues. That window is the easiest time to start new habits.
Indistractable
Single Model
Nir Eyal
Not started
Get through boring admin work without running to my phone. If I cannot make it fun, I can at least make it interesting.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Eyal builds on Ian Bogost's idea that fun does not have to feel pleasant. It comes from taking the task seriously, adding constraints and looking for what is new in it. Likely to trip me up: Eyal is clear this is not about sugar-coating with rewards. If I only add treats and do not actually look closer at the task, the boredom comes back. (Source: Indistractable, Ch. 7.)
The Goldilocks Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): interest lives at the edge of your ability. Flow (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi): deep attention is what makes work absorbing.
Productivity & Focus
Reimagine the Task (Find the Fun)
Ch. 7, Reimagine the Task. Page not verified (BenBella Books, 2019).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill
07; 13; 17
Plan: For one boring weekly task, I will time myself and try to beat it, or look for one way to do it better each time. I will treat it as a game with rules I set.
boring, bored, boredom, dull, chores, tedious, study, homework, paperwork, admin, motivation, procrastination, fun, play, challenge, curiosity, focus, attention, routine, engagement
The task is boring, so you keep escaping to something more fun. It never gets done.
Pick one dull task and set a small challenge inside it: beat your last time, or find one thing about it you have never noticed.
Any task gets more engaging when you pay closer attention to it and look for the novelty and challenge inside it.
Eat That Frog!
Single Model
Brian Tracy
Not started
Make progress on a long goal without needing the full map first. Waiting for a complete plan is how big goals stay at zero.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tracy tells of crossing a stretch of the Sahara where the track was marked by oil barrels placed five kilometres apart. He only ever had to reach the next barrel. Likely to trip me up: this is a story and a rule of thumb from Tracy's life, not a study. It also does not tell me which goal to choose. It only helps once the direction is set. (Source: Eat That Frog!, Ch. 10.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): shrink the start. Do Not Picture Your Whole Life at Once (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): deal with the part in front of you.
Productivity & Focus
One Oil Barrel at a Time
Ch. 10, Take It One Oil Barrel at a Time. Starts on p. 56 (Berrett-Koehler, 3rd edition, 2017).
Beat procrastination / focus; Lose weight; Save money / spend less; Learn a skill / upskill
07; 08; 03; 17
Plan: For my biggest goal, I will only ever plan the next visible step, do it, and then look again. I will keep a simple list of the steps already done so I can see the distance covered.
overwhelmed, big, project, goal, long term, daunting, start, stuck, steps, progress, patience, thesis, exam, debt, weight loss, saving, marathon, journey, persistence, next step
The project is so big that you cannot see the end, so you never take the first step.
Pick your biggest project and write down only the very next step. Do that one step today.
You do not need to see the whole road. Go as far as you can see, and from there you will see far enough to go further.
Good Habits, Bad Habits
Single Model
Wendy Wood
Not started
Have good habits in place before my next heavy stretch at work. Under stress I will not make good decisions. I will run whatever is already automatic.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Wood's studies of students during exam weeks found they leaned harder on their habits, healthy or unhealthy. The ones with a habit of a healthy breakfast ate healthier under stress, not worse. Likely to trip me up: Wood says habits take weeks of repetition in a steady setting to form, so this has to be built before the stress arrives. Starting it during the crunch is too late. (Source: Good Habits, Bad Habits, Ch. 12.)
Plan for the Hard Moment (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): script the stressful moment in advance. Keystone Habits (same author): build the base before the pressure comes.
Habits & Behavior Change
Stress Makes You Habitual
Ch. 12, The Special Resilience of Habit. Page not verified (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2019).
Manage stress / anxiety; Eat healthier; Sleep better; Cut junk food / emotional eating
12; 02; 05; 19
Plan: In a calm month I will make two basics automatic: a fixed breakfast and a fixed bedtime. When the busy stretch comes, I will protect those two and let the rest go.
stress, stressed, tired, exhausted, exams, deadline, busy, burnout, relapse, junk food, comfort eating, sleep, fallback, autopilot, routine, resilience, pressure, overwhelmed, willpower, slip
Your good intentions hold until exam week or a bad deadline. Then you are back to junk food and no sleep.
Think of your last stressful week and write down what you fell back on. Pick one good fallback you want to have in place before the next one.
When you are tired or stressed you do not get worse. You get more habitual, and fall back on whatever habits you have, good or bad.
Digital Minimalism
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
See what my apps really cost me in hours, not money. Free things are the ones that never get audited.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport takes this from Thoreau's Walden. Thoreau added up what his neighbours' bigger farms cost them in years of labour and found the extra was not worth it. Newport's first principle, clutter is costly, is the same sum applied to apps. Likely to trip me up: Newport says we fixate on the small benefit each tool gives and ignore the total cost of all of them together, so each app on its own will still look fine. (Source: Digital Minimalism, Ch. 2.)
Your Money or Your Life (Vicki Robin): money is life energy you traded hours for. The Craftsman Approach to Tools (Deep Work, same author): benefits have to beat the full cost.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Cost Is Measured in Life
Ch. 2, Digital Minimalism (the principle 'Clutter Is Costly'). The idea comes from Thoreau's Walden. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Cut phone / social-media use; Be more punctual / manage time; Reduce debt / control spending
06; 23; 22
Plan: I will write down my weekly screen time for my top three apps and multiply it out to a year. Then I will decide which ones are worth that many hours.
time, cost, price, free, apps, screen time, hours, wasting, money, spending, shopping, subscriptions, value, worth, trade-off, minimalism, clutter, busy, life, priorities
An app or a purchase looks free or cheap, so you take it. You never add up the hours it takes from you.
For one app, check your weekly screen time and turn it into hours per year. Ask if what you get is worth that much of your life.
The real price of a thing is the amount of your life you hand over for it, not just the money.
Man's Search for Meaning
Single Model
Viktor E. Frankl
Not started
Stop measuring my mood every day. Checking whether I am happy tends to push the feeling away.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Frankl says happiness and success both have to follow from something else, a cause you serve or a person you care for, and that the more you make them the target, the more you miss. Likely to trip me up: Frankl says you have to let it happen by not caring about it, which is hard to do on purpose. If I serve a cause only in order to feel happy, I am still aiming at happiness. (Source: Man's Search for Meaning, Preface to the 1992 edition and the 1984 Postscript.)
Paradoxical Intention (same book): forcing a result pushes it away. Flow (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi): enjoyment comes from absorption in a task, not from chasing the feeling.
Mindset & Emotions
Happiness Cannot Be Pursued, It Must Ensue
Preface to the 1992 Edition, and the Postscript 'The Case for a Tragic Optimism'. Page not verified (Beacon Press, 2006).
Improve mental health / be happier; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Manage stress / anxiety
04; 26; 12
Plan: For two weeks I will not rate my days as happy or unhappy. Each morning I will write the one thing worth doing that day and the one person I can be useful to, and do those.
happiness, happy, unhappy, success, goals, chasing, empty, comparison, pressure, achievement, purpose, meaning, satisfaction, contentment, anxious, striving, burnout, fulfilment, joy, enough
You keep checking whether you are happy yet, and the checking itself makes you feel worse.
For one day, drop the question 'am I happy?'. Ask instead 'what needs doing, and who needs me today?'
Aim straight at happiness or success and you miss. They arrive as a side effect of giving yourself to something bigger.
Tiny Habits
Single Model
BJ Fogg
Not started
Stop beating myself up for small efforts. If the habit feels like failure every time, my brain will avoid it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Fogg says the feeling of success, which he calls Shine, is what tells the brain to repeat a behaviour, and that the celebration must come immediately. Likely to trip me up: Fogg says many people find celebrating tiny things silly or fake, and it has to feel real to work. Note: this comes from Fogg's own coaching research with thousands of people, and he links it to how dopamine codes reward. It sits alongside, not against, the studies showing repetition also matters. (Source: Tiny Habits, Ch. 5.)
Cravings Drive the Loop (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): the brain repeats what it expects to feel good. Praise the Process (Mindset, Carol Dweck): reward the doing, not the label.
Habits & Behavior Change
Emotions Create Habits (Celebrate at Once)
Ch. 5, Emotions Create Habits. Page not verified (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2020).
Exercise / move daily; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Lose weight
01; 27; 04; 08
Plan: Right after each tiny habit, I will do one small celebration that feels natural to me. I will do it at once, not at the end of the day.
reward, celebrate, celebration, motivation, guilt, shame, self-criticism, perfectionism, feeling, success, small wins, confidence, habit, stick, consistency, positive, encouragement, progress, pride, joy
You do the new habit and feel nothing, or you criticise yourself for how small it was. Your brain has no reason to repeat it.
Right after your next tiny habit, do something that makes you feel a small win: a fist pump, a smile, a quiet 'yes'.
Habits are wired in by feeling good, not by repetition alone. Celebrate right after the behaviour and it sticks faster.
Eat That Frog!
Single Model
Brian Tracy
Not started
Stop choosing tasks by mood. A simple label tells me what comes first before I have time to argue with myself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tracy's test for an A task is serious consequences if it is not done. A C task has no consequences at all, whatever it feels like. Likely to trip me up: the method only works if I actually refuse to do B and C tasks while an A is open, and the A is usually the one I least want to do. (Source: Eat That Frog!, Ch. 6.)
Creative Procrastination (same book): D and E are the tasks you drop on purpose. Essentialism (Greg McKeown): separate the vital few from the trivial many.
Productivity & Focus
The ABCDE Method
Ch. 6, Use the ABCDE Method Continually. Starts on p. 34 (Berrett-Koehler, 3rd edition, 2017).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Be more punctual / manage time
13; 07; 23
Plan: Each morning I will letter my task list before I start, and number the A tasks in order. I will not start a B while any A is open.
priorities, prioritise, prioritize, to-do, list, tasks, urgent, important, consequences, delegate, eliminate, organised, overwhelmed, planning, focus, productivity, time, decisions, busy, order
Everything on your list looks equally urgent, so you pick by mood.
Put a letter next to each item on today's list. A is must do, B should do, C nice to do, D delegate, E eliminate. Start on A-1.
Label every task A to E by what happens if you do not do it. Never touch a B while an A is left undone.
Thinking, Fast and Slow
Single Model
Daniel Kahneman
Not started
Give honest deadlines. Estimates made from the inside assume everything goes right, and it never does.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kahneman calls this the outside view. Start from how similar cases turned out, then adjust. Likely to trip me up: Kahneman tells how his own textbook team ignored the outside view even after hearing it. They guessed about two years and it took eight. Knowing the numbers is not enough if I still trust my gut. (Source: Thinking, Fast and Slow, Ch. 23.)
The Psychology of Money (Morgan Housel): room for error, because plans rarely go to plan. Superforecasting (Philip Tetlock): start from the base rate, then adjust.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Planning Fallacy (take the Outside View)
Ch. 23, The Outside View. Page not verified (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2011).
Be more punctual / manage time; Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus
23; 13; 07
Plan: For my next project I will look up how long my last three similar projects really took, and start from that. Only then will I adjust for what is different this time.
planning, deadlines, late, delay, overrun, estimate, time, projects, optimistic, budget, procrastination, overcommit, schedule, study, exams, renovation, goals, forecast, realistic
Your projects always take longer and cost more than you planned, and you are surprised every time.
Before you commit to a deadline, ask: how long did the last three things like this actually take? Use that number, not your gut.
We plan for the best case and ignore how long similar projects really took. Check the track record first.
Man's Search for Meaning
Single Model
Viktor E. Frankl
Not started
Fall asleep without fighting for it. The effort to sleep is often what keeps people awake.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Frankl says anxiety about a symptom produces exactly what you fear, and that forcing a result makes it impossible. Turning the wish around, with humour, breaks the loop. He gives insomnia as an example, and later clinical studies have also supported this method for insomnia. Likely to trip me up: Frankl says it is a short-term tool, not a cure-all, and it needs a sense of humour about yourself, which is hard when you are anxious. (Source: Man's Search for Meaning, Part Two.)
Indistractable (Nir Eyal): telling yourself not to think about it makes the urge stronger. The Happiness Trap (Russ Harris): struggling against a feeling feeds it.
Mindset & Emotions
Paradoxical Intention
Part Two, Logotherapy in a Nutshell (the section 'Logotherapy as a Technique'). Page not verified (Beacon Press, 2006).
Sleep better; Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination
05; 12; 15
Plan: On nights when sleep does not come, I will drop the goal of sleeping and try to stay awake with my eyes open instead. I will keep it light, almost as a joke with myself.
sleep, insomnia, anxiety, anxious, fear, panic, nervous, sweating, blushing, stammer, stage fright, public speaking, overthinking, trying, performance, exam, worry, pressure, relax
The harder you try to fall asleep, or not to blush, or not to stammer, the worse it gets.
If you cannot sleep tonight, stop trying. Lie there and try to stay awake as long as you can.
Fear of a symptom brings it on. Deliberately wish for the thing you fear, with humour, and the fear loses its grip.
Mindset
Single Model
Carol S. Dweck
Not started
Change how I talk to myself after a win. 'I am good at this' sets me up to fear the next hard task. 'That method worked' does not.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: in Dweck's studies, children praised for effort chose harder tasks and kept enjoying them. Children praised for being smart avoided challenges, and some even lied about their scores. Likely to trip me up: Dweck warns in the updated edition that praising effort alone, when nothing is being learned, is a false growth mindset. The praise has to be tied to the strategy and the progress. (Source: Mindset, Ch. 3 and Ch. 7.)
Atomic Habits (James Clear): reward the behaviour you want repeated. Grit (Angela Duckworth): effort counts twice.
People & Communication
Praise the Process, Not the Person
Ch. 3, The Truth About Ability and Accomplishment (the praise studies), and Ch. 7, Parents, Teachers, and Coaches. Page not verified (Ballantine Books, updated edition).
Improve relationships / communicate; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 27; 17
Plan: When something goes well, I will write down what I did that made it work, not what it says about me. I will do the same when I praise someone else.
praise, feedback, parenting, kids, children, teaching, students, manager, team, confidence, smart, talent, effort, criticism, self-talk, fear, failure, perfectionism, motivation
You tell someone, or yourself, 'you are so smart'. Then the first hard task feels like a threat to that label.
Today, praise one person for what they did, the effort or the method, and not for what they are.
Praise effort, strategy and progress, not talent. Talent praise makes people scared to fail.
Deep Work
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Know where my work hours go. A to-do list tells me what to do but not when, so the day leaks away.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport says the point is not to obey the schedule but to keep deciding on purpose what to do with the time that is left. Likely to trip me up: Newport warns that most people underestimate how long things take at first, and interruptions will break the plan. His fix is to redraw the blocks, as many times as needed. (Source: Deep Work, Rule 4.)
Indistractable (Nir Eyal): timeboxing, turning your values into time on the calendar. Eat That Frog! (Brian Tracy): plan every day in advance.
Productivity & Focus
Schedule Every Minute (Time Blocking)
Rule 4, Drain the Shallows (the section 'Schedule Every Minute of Your Day'). Page not verified (Grand Central, 2016).
Be more punctual / manage time; Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus
23; 13; 07
Plan: Each morning I will block my work hours on paper, in chunks of at least 30 minutes. When something breaks the plan, I will take a minute and redraw the rest of the day instead of giving up on it.
time, schedule, planning, plan, calendar, busy, late, punctual, overwhelmed, organised, organized, productivity, routine, deadlines, procrastination, focus, wasting, hours, day, blocks
You start the day with a to-do list and end it wondering where the time went.
At the start of tomorrow, draw your work hours on paper and put a task in every block. When the day goes off plan, redraw the rest.
Give every minute of your workday a job in advance, then adjust the blocks as the day changes.
Deep Work
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Decide which social apps actually earn their place on my phone. 'It has some benefit' is too low a bar.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport's test is to stop using the service for 30 days without announcing it, then ask if life was notably worse and if anyone cared. Likely to trip me up: Newport says the any-benefit mindset is the trap. Every app has some benefit, and fear of missing out makes that feel like enough. (Source: Deep Work, Rule 3.)
Digital Minimalism (Cal Newport): the same test, applied to your whole digital life. Essentialism (Greg McKeown): less but better.
Productivity & Focus
The Craftsman Approach to Tools
Rule 3, Quit Social Media. Page not verified (Grand Central, 2016).
Cut phone / social-media use; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Be more productive / organised
06; 26; 13
Plan: I will list my top goals at work and at home, and the two or three activities that drive each one. Then I will check each app against that list and drop the ones that do not clearly help.
apps, social media, instagram, facebook, twitter, phone, scrolling, tools, quit, delete, distraction, time, wasting, fomo, benefits, costs, minimalism, focus, attention
You keep every app because each one has some small benefit. Together they eat your day.
Pick one app. Write down the two or three things that matter most in your life, and ask honestly if this app helps them a lot, a little, or hurts.
Keep a tool only if its benefits for what matters most to you clearly outweigh its costs.
Man's Search for Meaning
Single Model
Viktor E. Frankl
Not started
Stop letting a bad work day decide my whole evening. I cannot choose the day, but I can choose what I do with it after.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Frankl saw in the camps that even there some people chose how to carry themselves, and he concluded that this inner choice cannot be taken away. Likely to trip me up: Frankl is clear that this applies to suffering you cannot avoid. If the cause can be removed, the right thing is to remove it. Putting up with it for no reason is not the point. (Source: Man's Search for Meaning, Part One and Part Two.)
Meditations (Marcus Aurelius): it is your judgement that hurts, not the event. Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself (Joe Dispenza): be greater than your environment.
Mindset & Emotions
The Last of the Human Freedoms
Part One, Experiences in a Concentration Camp. Page not verified (Beacon Press, 2006).
Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination
04; 12; 15
Plan: When something goes wrong that I cannot fix, I will write two short lists: what is outside my control, and what is still my choice. Then I will act only on the second list.
stress, suffering, helpless, stuck, control, attitude, acceptance, grief, loss, anger, resentment, victim, hope, resilience, hard times, illness, job, circumstances, choice, response
Something goes wrong that you cannot fix, and you feel your whole day, or life, is decided by it.
Pick one thing today that you cannot change. Write down the one part that is still your choice: how you respond.
Whatever happens to you, one freedom stays yours: choosing how you respond to it.
The Power of Habit
Single Model
Charles Duhigg
Not started
Stop skipping a workout on the days I come home tired. The tired moment is where most plans break, so I want a plan written for exactly that moment.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duhigg describes a study of patients recovering from hip and knee surgery. The ones who wrote down plans for their most painful moments were back on their feet much faster. Starbucks trains staff the same way, with a set routine for angry customers. Likely to trip me up: the plan has to name the exact moment. A vague plan gives me nothing to follow when it hits. Note: this chapter also leans on the idea that willpower is a muscle that tires out, and that research has not held up well in replications. The plan-ahead part is the solid part. (Source: The Power of Habit, Ch. 5.)
Atomic Habits (James Clear): an implementation intention, I will do X at time Y in place Z. Indistractable (Nir Eyal): a pact you make before the temptation shows up.
Habits & Behavior Change
Plan for the Hard Moment
Ch. 5, Starbucks and the Habit of Success: When Willpower Becomes Automatic. Page not verified (Random House, 2012).
Exercise / move daily; Eat healthier; Quit smoking / vaping; Manage stress / anxiety
01; 02; 10; 12
Plan: I will write one line and stick it on the door: When I come home tired, I will change into my workout clothes before I sit down. I will decide this once, in advance, so I do not have to decide it when I am tired.
willpower, discipline, self-control, giving up, quit, slip, relapse, temptation, plan, stress, anger, pain, hard, moment, trigger, exercise, diet, smoking, consistency, prepare
Your plan works fine on easy days. Then one bad moment hits, and you drop it without thinking.
Name the one moment today where you usually slip. Write one line: When (that moment) happens, I will (do this instead).
Decide in advance exactly what you will do at the moment you are most likely to give up.
Eat That Frog!
Single Model
Brian Tracy
Not started
Do the one task that matters before the day fills up. If I leave it for later, later never has room.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tracy says if you have two important tasks, start with the bigger and harder one, and do not sit looking at it for long. Starting and finishing an important task is what builds the habit. Likely to trip me up: this is Tracy's rule of thumb from experience, not a research finding. If the frog is unclear or huge, I will stall, so it has to be one defined task. (Source: Eat That Frog!, Introduction.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the start tiny if the frog feels too big. Deep Work (Cal Newport): protect the first hours for hard work.
Productivity & Focus
Eat That Frog
Introduction: Eat That Frog. Starts on p. 1 (Berrett-Koehler, 3rd edition, 2017).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Be more punctual / manage time
07; 13; 23
Plan: Each evening I will pick tomorrow's frog and put what I need for it on my desk. In the morning I will work on it first, and stay on it until it is done or I have given it a full hour.
procrastination, procrastinate, delay, avoid, hard, task, important, priorities, morning, first, lazy, overwhelmed, to-do, list, email, busy, productivity, discipline, start, focus
You start the day with small easy tasks to warm up. By the time you reach the big one, the day and your energy are gone.
Tonight, write down tomorrow's one most important task. Tomorrow, start on it before you open email or your phone.
Do your biggest, hardest, most important task first thing, before anything else.
Indistractable
Single Model
Nir Eyal
Not started
Know what I am being distracted from. Without a plan for my time, everything is a distraction and nothing is.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Eyal's point is that the opposite of distraction is not focus, it is traction. Anything I planned to do, even a video or a game, counts as traction. Likely to trip me up: Eyal warns that work-like tasks such as checking email can be distraction too, if they were not what I planned for that time. (Source: Indistractable, Ch. 1 and Ch. 2.)
Deep Work (Cal Newport): schedule every minute so you know what you are being pulled away from. Essentialism (Greg McKeown): decide what matters before the day decides for you.
Productivity & Focus
Traction vs Distraction
Ch. 1, What's Your Superpower?, and Ch. 2, Being Indistractable. Page not verified (BenBella Books, 2019).
Cut phone / social-media use; Beat procrastination / focus; Be more punctual / manage time
06; 07; 23
Plan: Each evening I will decide what tomorrow's main blocks of time are for. When I catch myself doing something else, I will ask one question: is this what I planned to do?
distraction, distracted, focus, phone, scrolling, social media, procrastination, time, wasting, plan, attention, priorities, goals, intention, busy, productivity, apps, notifications, control
You blame your phone. But you cannot call something a distraction if you never decided what you wanted to be doing instead.
Before you open an app today, say what you planned to do with this time. If you had no plan, make one for the next hour.
Every action is either traction, pulling you toward what you want, or distraction, pulling you away.
Meditations
Single Model
Marcus Aurelius
Not started
Treat the next blocked plan as a new task instead of a dead end. Plans break all the time, and stopping each time gets nothing done.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Marcus says others can block his actions but not his intentions, because the mind adapts and turns the block to its own use. Likely to trip me up: this is about what I do next, not about pretending the setback is good. Marcus is talking about keeping his own purpose intact, and some blocks really do end a particular plan. (Source: Meditations, 5.20.)
The Obstacle Is the Way (Ryan Holiday): a whole book built on this one passage. Mindset (Carol Dweck): a setback is information, not a verdict.
Mindset & Emotions
The Obstacle Becomes the Way
Book 5, section 20. The numbering is the same in every translation.
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus; Manage stress / anxiety
27; 07; 12
Plan: When a plan gets blocked, I will write down what the block now asks of me, like patience, a new route, or a hard conversation. Then I will do that thing as the new task.
obstacle, obstacles, setback, failure, stuck, blocked, problem, frustration, delay, rejection, resilience, adapt, perfectionism, fear, excuse, giving up, challenge, plan, change, stoic
Something gets in the way of your plan, and you treat it as a reason to stop.
Take one thing that is blocking you today and ask: what does this make possible, or what skill does it force me to practise?
What blocks your path can become the path. The mind can turn any obstacle into material to work with.
Digital Minimalism
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Get some time each day when nobody else's words are in my head. Without it I cannot work out what I actually think.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport's three practices are to leave the phone at home sometimes, take long walks, and write letters to yourself. He links regular solitude to clearer thinking and calmer moods. Likely to trip me up: Newport says solitude is about what is going on in your head, not where you are. A quiet room with a podcast on does not count. Note: the link he draws between smartphones and rising anxiety in young people rests mostly on correlational research, and scientists still argue about it. (Source: Digital Minimalism, Ch. 4.)
Embrace Boredom (Deep Work, same author): the same muscle, used for focus. Drop (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): ideas arrive when the input stops.
Mindset & Emotions
Solitude Deprivation
Ch. 4, Spend Time Alone. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety; Spend more time outdoors; Cut phone / social-media use
15; 12; 18; 06
Plan: I will take a 20-minute walk each day with no phone and no earphones. If thoughts pile up, I will write them down when I get back.
anxiety, anxious, overthinking, restless, phone, podcasts, music, earphones, scrolling, alone, solitude, quiet, walk, walking, thinking, reflection, journaling, overwhelmed, noise, calm
Every quiet moment gets filled with a podcast, a feed or a message. You never hear your own thinking, and a low hum of anxiety builds.
Take one walk today without your phone, or with it switched off in your bag. No music, no podcast.
Spending almost no time alone with your own thoughts, with no input from anyone else, wears your mind down.
The Psychology of Money
Single Model
Morgan Housel
Not started
Stop comparing my income and lifestyle with people who have more. There is always someone higher up, so the comparison never ends.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Housel says the hardest money skill is getting the goalpost to stop moving, and that enough does not mean too little. Likely to trip me up: Housel says social comparison is the problem. The ceiling is so high that nobody ever reaches it, so the only way to win is to not play. (Source: The Psychology of Money, Ch. 3.)
Man in the Car Paradox (same book): nobody is watching your stuff anyway. Meditations (Marcus Aurelius): strip a shiny thing down to what it really is.
Decision-Making & Risk
Enough
Ch. 3, Never Enough. Page not verified (Harriman House, 2020).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less
26; 22; 03
Plan: I will write down what enough looks like for me this year, in money and in lifestyle. When I feel the pull to compare, I will read it again before I decide anything.
money, enough, greed, comparison, comparing, envy, jealous, salary, status, more, ambition, risk, spending, lifestyle, social media, contentment, satisfied, keeping up, wealth
Every time you reach a goal, someone else has more, and what you have stops feeling like enough.
Write down one number or one thing that would be enough for you this year. Keep it where you will see it.
Know what enough is for you. Without it, the goalpost keeps moving and you risk what you have.
Man's Search for Meaning
Single Model
Viktor E. Frankl
Not started
Find the why behind the one hard thing I keep dropping. When the reason is clear, the effort is easier to carry.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Frankl noticed that prisoners who had something waiting for them, a person or unfinished work, held on longer. He names three sources of meaning: work or a deed, love or an experience, and the stand you take toward suffering you cannot avoid. Likely to trip me up: Frankl says meaning cannot be invented in the abstract. It is specific to a person and a moment, and it shows up as a task in front of you, not as a slogan. (Source: Man's Search for Meaning, Part Two.)
Drive (Daniel Pink): purpose is one of the three things that keep people motivated. Grit (Angela Duckworth): purpose is what sustains effort over years.
Mindset & Emotions
A Why to Live For (the Will to Meaning)
Part Two, Logotherapy in a Nutshell (the sections on the will to meaning and the meaning of life). Page not verified (Beacon Press, 2006).
Improve mental health / be happier; Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill
04; 07; 17
Plan: I will write one sentence on who or what my hardest current task is for, and keep it where I work. When I want to quit, I will read it first.
meaning, purpose, why, motivation, empty, emptiness, bored, boredom, depressed, lost, direction, career, goals, discipline, suffering, hope, future, giving up, drive, fulfilment
You have comfort and free time, but you feel empty and bored, and you cannot stick with anything hard.
For one hard thing you are doing, write one sentence on who or what it is for. Read it before you start.
People can bear almost any how if they have a why. Meaning, not comfort, is what keeps us going.
Digital Minimalism
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Reset my phone use from zero instead of trimming it a little. Small tweaks rarely hold.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport ran this with more than 1,600 volunteers. The ones who succeeded used the month to find better things to do, not just to go without. Likely to trip me up: Newport says people who treated it as a plain detox, with no plan for the empty time, mostly went back to their old habits. (Source: Digital Minimalism, Ch. 3.)
The Craftsman Approach to Tools (Deep Work, same author): the test for what comes back. The Four Laws (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the bad habit invisible.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Digital Declutter
Ch. 3, The Digital Declutter. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Cut phone / social-media use; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Improve mental health / be happier
06; 26; 04
Plan: I will pick a 30-day window and step away from every optional app and site. During it I will try out offline things I actually enjoy. At the end I will let an app back only if it clearly serves something I value, and I will set rules for when and how I use it.
phone, social media, instagram, scrolling, detox, declutter, apps, screen time, addiction, reset, break, quit, delete, minimalism, notifications, youtube, netflix, focus, overwhelmed, fomo
Small tweaks like turning off notifications never last. The apps creep back within weeks.
List the apps and sites on your phone that are optional, meaning nothing breaks at work or at home if you stop. That list is step one.
Take 30 days off optional tech. Then bring back only what serves something you deeply value.
Thinking, Fast and Slow
Single Model
Daniel Kahneman
Not started
Stop avoiding sensible money decisions just because I might lose a little. The fear of losing is louder than the facts.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kahneman suggests thinking like a trader, you win a few and you lose a few, and looking at many decisions together instead of one at a time. Likely to trip me up: Kahneman says the pain of a loss is an automatic System 1 reaction, so I will still feel it even when the numbers say it is fine. (Source: Thinking, Fast and Slow, Ch. 26 and Ch. 31.)
The Psychology of Money (Morgan Housel): staying in the game matters more than any single win or loss. Nudge (Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): framing a choice as a loss or a gain changes what people pick.
Biases & Blind Spots
Loss Aversion
Ch. 26, Prospect Theory (where loss aversion is introduced), and Ch. 28, Bad Events. Page not verified (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2011).
Save money / spend less; Build emergency fund / invest; Reduce debt / control spending
03; 20; 22
Plan: Before a money decision I will write down the realistic loss and the realistic gain as numbers, side by side. I will also look at the whole year, not this one decision alone.
money, loss, losing, fear, risk, investing, saving, gambling, selling, regret, decisions, afraid, safe, change, quit, job, stocks, spending, bias, stuck
You hold on to bad choices, and you avoid good risks, because the possible loss feels bigger than it is.
For one decision today, write the possible loss and the possible gain next to each other as plain numbers. Then ask what you would tell a friend to do.
Losing something hurts about twice as much as gaining the same thing feels good.
Eat That Frog!
Single Model
Brian Tracy
Not started
Stop feeling guilty about what I did not do, by choosing it on purpose. Everyone procrastinates. The question is on what.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Tracy says everyone procrastinates, and the difference is that effective people put off the low-value things. Likely to trip me up: Tracy warns that most people do this without thinking and end up putting off the big, valuable tasks instead. Saying no to a new thing also means stopping an old one, which is uncomfortable. (Source: Eat That Frog!, Ch. 5.)
Essentialism (Greg McKeown): if it is not a clear yes, it is a no. The Planning Fallacy (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): you have less time than you think, so choose.
Productivity & Focus
Creative Procrastination
Ch. 5, Practice Creative Procrastination. Starts on p. 30 (Berrett-Koehler, 3rd edition, 2017). Older editions use a different chapter number.
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety
07; 13; 12
Plan: Each week I will pick a few low-value tasks and decide openly to not do them, or to do them later. I will use that time for the one task that matters most.
procrastination, priorities, busy, overwhelmed, overcommitted, no, saying no, tasks, to-do, time, delegate, focus, important, urgent, small, email, meetings, productivity, choose, less
You try to get to everything. The small stuff gets done, and the task that matters slips again.
Look at your list and pick one low-value thing to drop, delay or hand off today. Say no to it on purpose.
You cannot do everything, so procrastinate on purpose. Put off the low-value tasks, not the big ones.
Meditations
Single Model
Marcus Aurelius
Not started
Take the shine off impulse buys. Most of the pull is the story around the thing, not the thing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Marcus does this with roast meat, vintage wine and his own purple robe, which he calls wool dyed with shellfish blood. He says to look at things as they are and strip off the grand words that dress them up. Likely to trip me up: Marcus warns that things fool you most exactly when you feel most sure they are worth it. The craving will tell me this case is different. (Source: Meditations, 6.13.)
Man in the Car Paradox (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): the admiration you imagine is not real. It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event (same book): remove the opinion and look at what is left.
Thinking & Reasoning
Strip It Down to What It Is
Book 6, section 13. The numbering is the same in every translation.
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Reduce debt / control spending; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Drink less alcohol
19; 22; 26; 11
Plan: Before I buy something I do not need, I will describe it out loud in plain words, like 'a slab of glass and metal that does what my current one does'. Then I will wait a day.
craving, cravings, temptation, shopping, impulse, status, luxury, brands, junk food, sugar, snack, alcohol, desire, want, envy, comparison, marketing, hype, spending, stoic
A gadget, a snack or a status symbol feels irresistible because of the story wrapped around it.
Pick one thing you are craving and describe it in the dullest, most literal words you can. Then decide.
Describe a tempting thing in plain physical terms and it loses its spell. Fine wine is grape juice.
Mindset
Single Model
Carol S. Dweck
Not started
Catch the moments when I get defensive about feedback. I cannot change that reaction until I see what sets it off.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dweck lays out the steps. Accept that you have a fixed mindset too, learn its triggers, give the persona a name, and then educate it instead of fighting it. Likely to trip me up: Dweck says nobody has a growth mindset all the time, and pretending you do is how a false growth mindset starts. (Source: Mindset, Ch. 8, the section added in the updated edition.)
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself (Joe Dispenza): watch the old self instead of obeying it. Feeling Good (David Burns): catch the automatic thought and answer it.
Mindset & Emotions
Name Your Fixed-Mindset Persona
Ch. 8, Changing Mindsets (the section 'The Journey to a (True) Growth Mindset', added in the updated edition). Page not verified (Ballantine Books, updated edition).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop overthinking / rumination
27; 04; 15
Plan: For two weeks I will note each time I feel defensive, crushed or like quitting, and what happened just before. I will give that voice a name, and when it shows up I will tell it what I plan to learn from this one.
mindset, criticism, defensive, setback, failure, self-talk, inner critic, doubt, fear, quit, anxious, triggers, feedback, comparison, perfectionism, confidence, growth, fixed, excuses
You think you have a growth mindset. Then criticism or a setback hits and the old voice takes over.
Notice the next time you feel defensive or want to quit. Write down what set it off. That is one of your triggers.
Everyone has a fixed-mindset voice. Learn what triggers it, give it a name, and talk back to it.
Meditations
Single Model
Marcus Aurelius
Not started
Stop letting small things at work wreck my mood. The event takes a minute. My opinion about it is what lasts all day.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Marcus tells himself the pain comes from his own view of the thing, and that he can drop that view whenever he chooses. The founders of modern cognitive therapy credited the Stoics for this idea. Likely to trip me up: Marcus wrote the same reminder to himself again and again over years, which shows it does not stick after one try. It is a daily practice, not a switch. (Source: Meditations, 8.47 and 4.7.)
The Last of the Human Freedoms (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): the same choice, tested in the worst conditions. Feeling Good (David Burns): cognitive therapy is built on this idea.
Mindset & Emotions
It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event
Book 8, section 47, and Book 4, section 7. The numbering is the same in every translation. The idea itself comes from Epictetus, whom Marcus studied.
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve mental health / be happier; Improve relationships / communicate
12; 15; 04; 25
Plan: When something annoys me, I will write one line of plain facts about what happened, and a second line with the story I added on top. Then I will ask if the second line is needed.
anger, angry, annoyed, upset, stress, anxiety, overthinking, criticism, insult, rude, traffic, control, calm, stoic, stoicism, reaction, mood, worry, acceptance, peace
A comment, a delay or a rude person ruins your mood for hours, and it feels like they did it to you.
Next time something annoys you, say what happened in plain facts, with no opinion added. Then see how much of the upset is left.
Outside events do not upset you. Your judgement about them does, and the judgement is yours to change.
Indistractable
Single Model
Nir Eyal
Not started
Find out what feeling sends me to my phone in the middle of work. If I only block the app, the feeling finds another exit.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Eyal says to look at the urge with curiosity instead of contempt, and to surf it, because urges rise and then fade. Likely to trip me up: Eyal notes that telling yourself not to think about something backfires and makes the urge stronger. Fighting it head-on is the wrong move. (Source: Indistractable, Ch. 4 to Ch. 6.)
Embrace Boredom (Deep Work, Cal Newport): train yourself to sit with the dull moment. Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself (Joe Dispenza): the body craves its familiar feeling.
Mindset & Emotions
Time Management Is Pain Management
Ch. 4, Time Management Is Pain Management, to Ch. 6, Reimagine the Internal Trigger (the ten-minute rule is in Ch. 6). Page not verified (BenBella Books, 2019).
Cut phone / social-media use; Beat procrastination / focus; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Manage stress / anxiety
06; 07; 19; 12
Plan: For one week, each time I feel the pull to check, I will write down the feeling that came right before it. Then I will use the ten-minute rule: I can give in, but only after ten minutes.
distraction, urge, boredom, bored, anxious, anxiety, stress, discomfort, escape, avoid, procrastination, phone, scrolling, snacking, craving, restless, feelings, emotions, impulse, checking
You delete the app and find a new way to avoid the task within a day. The urge was never about the app.
Next time you feel the pull to check, name the feeling that came just before it. Bored, anxious, stuck? Then wait ten minutes before you give in.
Distraction starts inside. We reach for the phone to escape an uncomfortable feeling, not because of the phone.
Digital Minimalism
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Have something better to do in the evenings than scroll. Cutting the phone without a replacement just leaves a hole.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport's lessons are to choose demanding activities over passive ones, use skills to make real things, and pick activities that involve other people. Likely to trip me up: Newport says it sounds wrong to schedule your free time, but without a plan the low-effort default wins, and the default is the phone. (Source: Digital Minimalism, Ch. 6.)
Golden Rule of Habit Change (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): you cannot remove a routine without replacing it. Flow (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi): demanding activities satisfy more than passive ones.
Habits & Behavior Change
Fill the Void First (High-Quality Leisure)
Ch. 6, Reclaim Leisure. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Cut phone / social-media use; Spend more time outdoors; Spend time with family/friends; Learn a skill / upskill
06; 18; 14; 17
Plan: I will pick one skill I can do with my hands and give it two fixed evenings a week. I will plan the weekend's leisure in advance, the way I plan work.
hobbies, hobby, free time, leisure, weekend, boredom, bored, scrolling, netflix, phone, screen time, lazy, outdoors, sports, friends, family, crafts, cooking, skill, energy
You cut your screen time and then sit there with nothing to do. So you pick the phone back up.
Schedule one hands-on activity this week: cook something new, fix something, play a sport, meet a friend in person.
Build demanding, real-world hobbies first. Scrolling mostly fills a gap left by empty free time.
Indistractable
Single Model
Nir Eyal
Not started
Stop the late-night scroll by deciding in the daytime. The me at 11 pm cannot be trusted with that decision.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Eyal describes three kinds. An effort pact makes the bad choice harder, a price pact puts money on the line, and an identity pact is calling yourself the kind of person who does not do it. Likely to trip me up: Eyal says pacts are the last step, not the first. If I have not dealt with the feeling behind the urge, I will just find a way around the pact. He also warns that price pacts work badly when the trigger is something I cannot get away from. (Source: Indistractable, Ch. 22 to Ch. 25.)
Plan for the Hard Moment (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): decide before the moment arrives. Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): calling yourself someone who does not do it is a pact with yourself.
Habits & Behavior Change
Precommitment Pacts
Ch. 22, The Power of Precommitments, to Ch. 25, Prevent Distraction with Identity Pacts. Page not verified (BenBella Books, 2019).
Cut phone / social-media use; Sleep better; Quit smoking / vaping; Beat procrastination / focus
06; 05; 10; 07
Plan: I will set my router or phone to cut off the apps at a fixed time each night, so going around it takes real effort. For work, I will book a fixed session with a friend so that skipping it means letting someone down.
commitment, pact, promise, willpower, self-control, temptation, impulse, phone, scrolling, night, accountability, friend, bet, money, discipline, habits, quit, relapse, procrastination, lock
In the morning you are sure you will not scroll tonight. At 11 pm a different you is holding the phone.
Set up one small pact today. Put an app timer on, plan a work session with a friend, or put money on finishing a task.
Decide while you are calm, and lock the choice in, so your later, tempted self cannot easily undo it.
The Psychology of Money
Single Model
Morgan Housel
Not started
Build savings I cannot show anyone. The hard part is that saving looks like nothing from the outside.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Housel says wealth is the nice things you did not buy, and its value is the options and freedom it gives you later. Likely to trip me up: Housel says it is hard to learn from wealthy people because you cannot see what they saved. You only see what others spend, so spending is what gets copied. (Source: The Psychology of Money, Ch. 9.)
The Millionaire Next Door (Thomas Stanley and William Danko): most wealthy people look ordinary. The Richest Man in Babylon (George Clason): keep a part of all you earn.
Decision-Making & Risk
Wealth Is What You Don't See
Ch. 9, Wealth is What You Don't See. Page not verified (Harriman House, 2020).
Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending; Stop comparing / social-media envy
03; 22; 26
Plan: When I get a raise or extra money, I will move part of it to savings first, before my spending rises to match it.
money, wealth, rich, saving, savings, spending, showoff, status, lifestyle, car, shopping, impulse, debt, loan, credit card, comparison, invest, frugal, budget
You judge how well people are doing by what they buy, and then you copy the spending.
Next time you admire someone's car or phone, remind yourself you are only seeing what they spent, not what they have.
Rich is what you spend. Wealth is the money you did not spend. You cannot see it, so it is easy to ignore.
Deep Work
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Get one hard thing done each morning without checking messages in between. Even a quick check leaves part of my mind behind.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport cites Sophie Leroy's research. People who switched tasks before finishing the first one did worse on the next one. Likely to trip me up: Newport points out that even a quick glance at an inbox counts as a switch, and a message I have seen but cannot answer yet is the worst kind of residue. (Source: Deep Work, Ch. 1.)
Thinking, Fast and Slow (Daniel Kahneman): focused thinking takes effort and is easy to knock off course. Indistractable (Nir Eyal): remove the external triggers that cause the switch.
Productivity & Focus
Attention Residue
Ch. 1, Deep Work Is Valuable. Page not verified (Grand Central, 2016).
Limit multitasking / context-switching; Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised
28; 07; 13
Plan: I will close email and chat for the first 60 minutes of work and keep my phone in another room. If something urgent comes to mind, I will write it on paper and get back to the task.
multitasking, multitask, switching, distraction, distracted, focus, attention, concentration, email, notifications, interruptions, messages, checking, productivity, scattered, tabs, work, study, deep
You check one message in the middle of hard work. It takes a minute, but your head is not fully back for a long time.
Pick one task and give it 30 minutes with no checking at all. No inbox, no chat, not even a glance.
When you switch tasks, part of your attention stays stuck on the last one, and your work gets worse.
The Power of Habit
Single Model
Charles Duhigg
Not started
Make a morning run something I actually want, not just something I should do. The habit only sticks if I start to crave what comes after it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duhigg shows that habits lock in when the brain starts expecting the reward as soon as it sees the cue. A study of regular exercisers found most kept going because they came to crave how it made them feel. Likely to trip me up: Duhigg says the same craving is what powers bad habits, so if the new reward is weak, the old craving wins. (Source: The Power of Habit, Ch. 2.)
Atomic Habits (James Clear): his second law, make it attractive, is built on this. Hooked (Nir Eyal): apps are designed to create the craving before the reward.
Habits & Behavior Change
Cravings Drive the Loop
Ch. 2, The Craving Brain: How to Create New Habits. Page not verified (Random House, 2012).
Exercise / move daily; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Quit smoking / vaping
01; 19; 10
Plan: I will put my running shoes by the bed as the cue, and pick one reward I really look forward to after the run, like a good breakfast. Before I start, I will picture that reward for a moment.
craving, cravings, urge, reward, motivation, exercise, gym, running, habit, habits, stick, routine, anticipation, dopamine, snack, sugar, phone, quit, consistency, cue
You set up a new routine with a reward at the end, but you never feel pulled toward it. So it fades after a week.
Pick one habit you want and choose a reward you truly look forward to. Put the cue where you will see it, and let yourself think about the reward before you start.
A cue and a reward are not enough. A habit sticks when the cue makes you crave the reward.
The Psychology of Money
Single Model
Morgan Housel
Not started
Skip one status purchase this month. Knowing that nobody is really impressed makes it easier to skip.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Housel says being humble, kind and caring earns more respect than an expensive car does. Likely to trip me up: Housel admits he still likes nice cars himself. The pull does not disappear just because you see through it. (Source: The Psychology of Money, Ch. 8.)
Your Money or Your Life (Vicki Robin): money is life energy you traded hours for. The Millionaire Next Door (Thomas Stanley): real wealth is usually quiet.
Decision-Making & Risk
Man in the Car Paradox
Ch. 8, Man in the Car Paradox. Chapter starts on p. 91 (Harriman House, 2020, ISBN 9780857197689).
Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less; Stop comparing / social-media envy
22; 03; 26
Plan: When I want something mainly to look good, I will wait 48 hours and ask who I am really buying it for.
money, spending, status, showoff, respect, buy, wants, needs, save, impulse, car, clothes, image, admiration, wealth, ego, comparison, envy, shopping
You spend to earn respect, but flashy things do not actually buy it.
Before one status purchase, ask: am I buying this for me, or to be admired?
Nobody is as impressed by your stuff as you are. They picture themselves in it, not you.
Atomic Habits
Single Model
James Clear
Not started
Keep my workouts interesting so I do not quit at the boring stage. This rule tells me when to raise the difficulty a little.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Clear says working right at the edge of your ability is what keeps you interested. Likely to trip me up: Clear says the biggest threat is not failure but boredom. The workouts that matter are the ones I do when I do not feel like it, and too big a jump puts me outside the just-manageable zone. (Source: Atomic Habits, Ch. 19.)
Flow (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi): you get absorbed when the challenge matches your skill. Peak (Anders Ericsson): deliberate practice means working just past your current level.
Productivity & Focus
The Goldilocks Rule
Ch. 19, The Goldilocks Rule: How to Stay Motivated in Life and Work. Page not verified (Avery, 2018).
Exercise / move daily; Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill
01; 07; 17
Plan: Each week I will make one workout slightly harder so it stays at the edge of what I can do. I will note when it feels too easy or too hard.
boredom, bored, plateau, motivation, challenge, difficulty, exercise, practice, stuck, progress, improve, level, consistency, interest, quit, habit, flow, stretch
You get bored because it is too easy, or overwhelmed because it is too hard. Either way you drift away from the habit.
Adjust one habit so it is a little harder than comfortable. Add one rep, one page or one minute.
Motivation peaks when a task is just manageable. Not too hard, not too easy.
Thinking, Fast and Slow
Single Model
Daniel Kahneman
Not started
Avoid overpaying by setting my own number before I see the seller's. The first figure quietly bends my judgement.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kahneman points to research where deliberately looking for arguments against the anchor weakened its pull. Likely to trip me up: Kahneman shows anchors work even when they are obviously random, like a rigged wheel of fortune, so just knowing about the bias does not protect me. (Source: Thinking, Fast and Slow, Ch. 11.)
Influence (Robert Cialdini): the contrast principle makes the second number look small. Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss): how anchors get used in a negotiation.
Biases & Blind Spots
Anchoring
Ch. 11, Anchors. Page not verified (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2011).
Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less
22; 03
Plan: For my next big purchase I will decide my fair price in advance, and not let the listed price move it much.
money, price, negotiation, spending, bias, first, number, estimate, deal, discount, sale, salary, anchor, decisions, judgement, compare, influence, shopping, overpaying
You get talked into prices and targets set by whoever spoke first.
Before you look at a price or hear a quote, write down your own number first. If you have already seen theirs, list two reasons it could be way off.
The first number you see drags your later estimates toward it, even when it is irrelevant.
Deep Work
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Rebuild my attention by not reaching for my phone in every dull moment. Constant stimulation wears focus down.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport says to schedule when you use the internet and stay off it outside those times, so the brain relearns to tolerate boredom. Likely to trip me up: Newport says a brain wired for constant distraction struggles to focus even when you want it to, so the pull to check will be strong at first. (Source: Deep Work, Rule 2.)
Digital Minimalism (Cal Newport): decide on purpose which tech earns a place in your life. Indistractable (Nir Eyal): learn to sit with the inner discomfort that triggers the scroll.
Productivity & Focus
Embrace Boredom
Rule 2, Embrace Boredom. Page not verified (Grand Central, 2016).
Cut phone / social-media use; Beat procrastination / focus
06; 07
Plan: This week I will pick a few daily no-phone waits, like queues, the kettle and the lift, and just be bored on purpose.
boredom, bored, phone, scrolling, doomscrolling, distraction, distracted, focus, attention, waiting, stimulation, dopamine, habit, social media, instagram, patience, concentration, restless, screens
Every gap gets filled with the phone, so your attention cannot hold focus anymore.
Next time you wait in a line, keep the phone in your pocket and just wait.
Train your brain to sit with boredom instead of reaching for a screen in every idle second.
The Power of Habit
Single Model
Charles Duhigg
Not started
Understand one autopilot habit, like an afternoon snack, before trying to change it. I cannot swap a routine I have not mapped.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duhigg says naming the cue and the reward is the first real step, and cues usually fall into five types: place, time, mood, other people, or the action just before. Likely to trip me up: Duhigg found his own cookie habit was not about the cookie. The real reward was a break and company, which is easy to misread. (Source: The Power of Habit, Ch. 1 and the Appendix.)
Atomic Habits (James Clear): the four laws are the same loop turned into actions. Hooked (Nir Eyal): how apps build this loop on purpose.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Habit Loop
Ch. 1, The Habit Loop: How Habits Work. Page not verified (Random House, 2012).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Eat healthier; Exercise / move daily; Sleep better
19; 02; 01; 05
Plan: For three days I will write down what happens right before the habit (the cue) and how I feel after it (the reward). Then I will look for the real trigger.
habit, habits, trigger, cue, routine, reward, craving, autopilot, snacking, phone, smoking, understand, pattern, loop, break, change, why, stress, boredom
You try to stop a habit by force, without knowing what triggers it or what it gives you.
Write down the cue and the reward for one habit you did today: the time, the place, how you felt before and after.
Every habit runs cue, routine, reward. Find those three and you understand the habit.
Thinking, Fast and Slow
Single Model
Daniel Kahneman
Not started
Stop jumping to conclusions about people's messages. Asking what is missing slows the false story down.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: asking 'what am I not seeing?' is the direct counter. Kahneman's point is that System 1 never asks it on its own. Likely to trip me up: Kahneman says confidence comes from how neat the story feels, not from how much evidence there is, so the pull to conclude is strong. (Source: Thinking, Fast and Slow, Ch. 7.)
The Scout Mindset (Julia Galef): go looking for what would prove you wrong. The Great Mental Models Vol 1 (Shane Parrish): the map is not the territory.
Biases & Blind Spots
What You See Is All There Is (WYSIATI)
Ch. 7, A Machine for Jumping to Conclusions. Page not verified. A university reading list cites pp. 85 to 88, edition not confirmed, so check your copy.
Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve relationships / communicate
15; 25
Plan: When a message annoys me, I will pause and list what I do not know about their situation before I reply.
judgement, judging, assume, assumptions, conclusion, conclusions, jump, missing, information, bias, overthinking, overreact, decisions, story, evidence, wrong, doubt, question, argument
You jump to a firm conclusion and forget to ask what you do not know.
On one judgement today, ask: what information am I missing before I decide?
Your mind builds a confident story from only the information in front of it, and ignores what is missing.
Thinking, Fast and Slow
Single Model
Daniel Kahneman
Not started
Catch impulse spending by pausing before I buy. Naming System 1 helps me hand the choice over to System 2.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kahneman's advice is to learn the situations where mistakes are likely and slow down when the stakes are high. Likely to trip me up: Kahneman says System 1 cannot be switched off, and checking everything is too tiring to keep up, so I will only catch some of it. (Source: Thinking, Fast and Slow, Ch. 1.)
The Power of Habit (Charles Duhigg): habits are autopilot behaviour too. The Scout Mindset (Julia Galef): slow down and look for what is true, not what feels right.
Thinking & Reasoning
System 1 and System 2
Ch. 1, The Characters of the Story. Page not verified (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2011).
Reduce debt / control spending; Beat procrastination / focus; Eat healthier; Cut junk food / emotional eating
22; 07; 02; 19
Plan: Before any non-essential purchase I will wait and ask whether this is an impulse (System 1) or a considered choice (System 2).
thinking, decisions, autopilot, impulse, impulsive, snap, judgement, bias, mistakes, slow, pause, reason, react, overthinking, choices, gut, careful, mind, spending
You react on autopilot and make the same snap mistakes without noticing.
On one decision today, pause and ask: is this a snap reaction, or have I actually thought it through?
Fast, automatic System 1 runs most of life. Slow, effortful System 2 checks it, if you let it.
Atomic Habits
Single Model
James Clear
Not started
Check my phone less at night by making it harder to reach. The four laws give four clear levers instead of just trying harder.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Clear says people with good self-control mostly just spend less time around temptation, so removing the cue beats resisting it. Likely to trip me up: Clear says a bad habit is never really forgotten. When the cue comes back the urge comes back, so one night with the phone by the bed can restart it. (Source: Atomic Habits, Ch. 3 and Ch. 7.)
The Power of Habit (Charles Duhigg): the same loop of cue, routine and reward. Good Habits, Bad Habits (Wendy Wood): change the surroundings and add friction instead of using willpower.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Four Laws of Behavior Change
Ch. 3, How to Build Better Habits in 4 Simple Steps. Page not verified (Avery, 2018).
Cut phone / social-media use; Eat healthier; Exercise / move daily
06; 02; 01
Plan: I will charge my phone in the kitchen so that grabbing it takes effort. I will leave a book on the pillow so the good habit is the obvious one.
habit, habits, willpower, environment, cue, craving, reward, break, build, bad, good, phone, snack, exercise, design, friction, obvious, easy, satisfying, change, autopilot
You rely on willpower, so good habits feel hard and bad ones feel easy.
Take one bad habit and make it invisible. Remove its cue: snacks out of sight, phone in another room.
Build a habit by making it obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying. Break one by doing the opposite.
Mindset
Single Model
Carol S. Dweck
Not started
Keep trying a skill I am bad at instead of quitting. Seeing ability as something that grows lowers the fear of failing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dweck's research links seeing ability as learnable with sticking at hard things for longer. Likely to trip me up: later independent studies found the real-world effect is smaller than the popular version claims, so this is a nudge, not magic. (Source: Mindset, Ch. 1, plus later replication studies.)
Atomic Habits (James Clear): identity can be rebuilt one small win at a time. Grit (Angela Duckworth): effort kept up over time beats talent alone.
Mindset & Emotions
Growth Mindset (vs Fixed)
Ch. 1, The Mindsets. Page not verified (Ballantine Books paperback).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 04; 17
Plan: When I catch myself thinking 'I am bad at this', I will change it to 'I am not good at this yet' and make one more attempt.
mindset, failure, fear, effort, learning, growth, fixed, challenge, quit, confidence, ability, talent, improve, mistakes, yet, practice, comparison, perfectionism, perfectionist, doubt
You avoid challenges, because failing would mean you are just not good at it.
Add the word 'yet' to one 'I can't' today. 'I can't do this yet.' Then take one small step.
Treat ability as something you can grow with effort, not a fixed trait you are stuck with.
The Psychology of Money
Single Model
Morgan Housel
Not started
Save a small fixed amount every month and not touch it. Seeing how compounding works makes the boring habit feel worth it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Housel shows that time, not big returns, does the heavy lifting. Most of Warren Buffett's wealth came after his mid-60s. Likely to trip me up: Housel says compounding is so counterintuitive that we underrate it. The early years look like nothing is happening, and the temptation is to chase bigger returns instead of staying put. (Source: The Psychology of Money, Ch. 4.)
The Richest Man in Babylon (George Clason): pay yourself first. Atomic Habits (James Clear): small gains compound, in habits as in money.
Systems & Strategy
Confounding Compounding
Ch. 4, Confounding Compounding. Chapter starts on p. 45 (Harriman House, 2020, ISBN 9780857197689).
Save money / spend less; Build emergency fund / invest
03; 20
Plan: I will automate a small transfer on payday. I will check the total once a quarter, not daily, so I stay patient.
money, saving, savings, save, invest, investing, compounding, patience, impatient, time, future, retirement, small, consistent, wealth, spend, automate, interest
You underrate small, boring saving because the payoff feels tiny and far away.
Set up one automatic transfer to savings today, however small, and leave it alone.
Small returns earned consistently over a long time create huge, hard-to-imagine results.
The Power of Habit
Single Model
Charles Duhigg
Not started
Replace one stress habit (a cigarette, a snack, a scroll) with a two-minute walk. Just removing it fails. Swapping the routine keeps the reward.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duhigg reports that a new routine plus belief, often from a group, is what makes the change last. Likely to trip me up: Duhigg shows that under high stress people fall back to the old routine unless that belief and support are there. (Source: The Power of Habit, Ch. 3.)
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself (Joe Dispenza): replace the old state, do not just fight it. Atomic Habits (James Clear): keep the cue, change the response.
Habits & Behavior Change
Golden Rule of Habit Change
Ch. 3, The Golden Rule of Habit Change: Why Transformation Occurs. Page not verified (Random House, 2012).
Quit smoking / vaping; Drink less alcohol; Manage stress / anxiety; Eat healthier; Improve mental health / be happier
10; 11; 12; 02; 04
Plan: When the stress cue hits, I will keep the reward, a break and some relief, but change the routine to a short walk or slow breathing.
habit, change, replace, swap, routine, craving, smoking, snacking, drinking, phone, stress, relief, break, quit, substitute, cue, reward, relapse
You try to delete a bad habit and the craving comes roaring back.
For one bad habit, pick a new routine that gives the same reward. A short walk instead of a smoke break.
You cannot erase a habit. Keep the same cue and reward, and swap in a new routine.
The Psychology of Money
Single Model
Morgan Housel
Not started
Build a small emergency buffer so one surprise bill does not turn into debt. Room for error is what keeps me in the game.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Housel says room for error lets you survive a range of outcomes, and surviving is what lets compounding work. Likely to trip me up: Housel warns that a plan which only works if everything goes right is fragile, and a cushion that is too thin is how people get forced out at the worst moment. (Source: The Psychology of Money, Ch. 13.)
Antifragile (Nassim Taleb): first make sure shocks cannot wipe you out. Thinking in Bets (Annie Duke): plan for a range of outcomes, not one.
Decision-Making & Risk
Room for Error
Ch. 13, Room for Error. Chapter starts on p. 135 (Harriman House, 2020, ISBN 9780857197689).
Build emergency fund / invest; Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending
20; 03; 22
Plan: I will aim for one month of expenses first, in a separate account that I treat as untouchable.
money, risk, buffer, emergency, savings, safety, margin, backup, plan, survive, mistake, cushion, security, uncertainty, debt, spending
You plan for the best case, and one surprise wipes you out.
Add a small buffer to one plan today, in money, time or effort, beyond what you think you need.
Leave a gap between what you expect and what you can survive, so bad luck does not ruin you.
Deep Work
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Stop thinking about work after 6 pm so I sleep better. A clear end-of-day ritual tells my brain that work is done.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport says unfinished tasks keep pulling at your attention, and a plan you trust releases them. Likely to trip me up: Newport warns that even one quick look at email in the evening can undo it. (Source: Deep Work, Rule 1.)
Getting Things Done (David Allen): get every open loop out of your head and into a system you trust. Atomic Habits (James Clear): a fixed evening routine becomes the cue for rest.
Productivity & Focus
Shutdown Ritual
Rule 1, Work Deeply (the 'Be Lazy' section). Page not verified (Grand Central, 2016).
Manage stress / anxiety; Sleep better; Beat procrastination / focus
12; 05; 07
Plan: Each evening I will take five minutes to check what is done, write tomorrow's top three, and close the laptop with a fixed phrase.
overwork, burnout, stress, unplug, evening, rest, recovery, sleep, worry, rumination, overthinking, boundaries, work, focus, ritual, shutdown, unwind, relax
Work thoughts follow you all evening, so you never recover or sleep well.
At the end of the day, check your task list, write tomorrow's plan, and say a set phrase like 'shutdown complete'.
End work with a fixed routine that closes open loops, so your mind can truly rest.
Atomic Habits
Single Model
James Clear
Not started
Become a person who moves every day, not someone trying to lose 5 kg. The identity should last longer than the motivation does.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Clear says real behaviour change is identity change, and you do not need every vote, just most of them. Likely to trip me up: Clear says old beliefs like 'I am not a morning person' quietly fight the new habit, and the new identity only feels true after enough small wins pile up as proof. (Source: Atomic Habits, Ch. 2.)
Mindset (Carol Dweck): what you believe about yourself can change with effort. Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself (Joe Dispenza): become the new person first, the behaviour follows.
Habits & Behavior Change
Identity-Based Habits
Ch. 2, How Your Habits Shape Your Identity (and Vice Versa). Page not verified (Avery, 2018).
Exercise / move daily; Quit smoking / vaping; Read / learn more; Improve mental health / be happier
01; 10; 09; 04
Plan: Every time I do even a short walk or a few squats, I will tell myself that was a vote for being someone who moves. I will keep a tick list of votes instead of tracking weight.
identity, motivation, willpower, quit, quitting, consistency, self-image, change, outcomes, goals, exercise, smoking, eating, saver, runner, reader, vote, become, belief, confidence
You chase a result, like losing 5 kg, and quit when it comes slowly. Nothing changed in how you see yourself.
Finish this sentence and act on it once today: I am the kind of person who (does this). That is one vote.
Focus on who you want to become. Each small action is a vote for that identity.
The Power of Habit
Single Model
Charles Duhigg
Not started
Use a daily walk as the one habit that pulls the rest along. Working on one keystone beats spreading effort over ten things.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duhigg's examples, safety at Alcoa and regular exercise, show one habit spreading into other areas. Likely to trip me up: Duhigg says keystone habits work through small wins. Without early wins to build on, the ripple does not get going. (Source: The Power of Habit, Ch. 4.)
The One Thing (Gary Keller): find the one domino that knocks the others down. Atomic Habits (James Clear): one habit can shift how you see yourself.
Systems & Strategy
Keystone Habits
Ch. 4, Keystone Habits, or The Ballad of Paul O'Neill. Page not verified (Random House, 2012).
Exercise / move daily; Be more productive / organised; Sleep better
01; 13; 05
Plan: I will make a 10-minute morning walk my one keystone habit this month. I will watch whether my eating and sleep quietly improve too.
keystone, exercise, walking, routine, change, overwhelmed, priority, focus, one, domino, ripple, habit, energy, momentum, sleep, eating, productivity
You try to fix ten things at once and change nothing.
Pick one keystone habit, like a short daily walk, and do it today. Notice what else it nudges.
Some habits, like exercise, set off a chain of other good habits. Start with those.
Atomic Habits
Single Model
James Clear
Not started
Drink a glass of water every morning. It is easy to forget, and stacking gives it a trigger that is hard to miss.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Clear says the best cue is something you already do every day without fail, and it should happen as often as the new habit. Likely to trip me up: Clear says a vague cue fails. It has to be specific, and it should not sit in a chaotic part of the day. (Source: Atomic Habits, Ch. 5.)
The Power of Habit (Charles Duhigg): the old habit becomes the cue in the habit loop. Tiny Habits (BJ Fogg): he calls the same idea an anchor.
Habits & Behavior Change
Habit Stacking
Ch. 5, The Best Way to Start a New Habit. Page not verified (Avery, 2018).
Exercise / move daily; Eat healthier; Sleep better; Drink more water / cut sugary drinks
01; 02; 05; 16
Plan: I will stack it on something I already do every morning, like making coffee. After I switch on the kettle, I will drink one glass of water. I will keep the glass next to the kettle.
habit, habits, routine, forget, forgetting, cue, trigger, morning, stack, stacking, build, consistency, remember, reminder, exercise, water, meditate, floss, reading, anchor, sequence
You forget the new habit, or you never find the right time for it. So it never happens.
Write one line: After I pour my morning coffee, I will (new habit). Do it once today.
Attach a new habit right after one you already do: After (current habit), I will (new habit).
Atomic Habits
Single Model
James Clear
Not started
Do two minutes of exercise every morning. Starting is usually the hard part, and this model makes starting too small to skip.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Clear says a habit must be established before it can be improved, so showing up for a tiny version comes first. Likely to trip me up: it can feel like a trick, because I know the real goal is bigger. Clear's answer is to really stop at two minutes at first and only scale up once showing up is automatic. (Source: Atomic Habits, Ch. 13.)
Tiny Habits (BJ Fogg): make the habit so small it is easy to do. The War of Art (Steven Pressfield): Resistance is strongest before you start, so just start.
Habits & Behavior Change
Two-Minute Rule
Ch. 13, How to Stop Procrastinating by Using the Two-Minute Rule. Page not verified (Avery, 2018).
Beat procrastination / focus; Exercise / move daily; Sleep better
07; 01; 05
Plan: I will keep my workout clothes next to the bed. Right after I get up, I will do just two minutes, a short stretch or a few squats. If I want to keep going, fine. If not, two minutes still counts.
procrastination, procrastinate, start, starting, stuck, overwhelmed, lazy, motivation, exercise, gym, workout, reading, study, habit, habits, routine, tiny, small, easy, begin, momentum, consistency, avoid, delay
You want to start, but the full thing feels too big. So you keep putting it off and do nothing.
Pick one habit and do only its first two minutes today. Put on your shoes, open the doc, read one page. Then stop if you want to.
Shrink any new habit to a version you can do in two minutes, then just start.
Quiet
Single Model
Susan Cain
Not started
Know my own tilt towards reward or caution, and set rules that correct for it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cain reports research that people differ in reward sensitivity, which is how strongly the prospect of a gain excites them. Extroverts tend to be higher in it. In laboratory gambling tasks, reward-sensitive people speed up after a loss, while less sensitive people slow down and learn from the mistake. She tells of investors who ignored warnings in the run-up to the 2008 crash, and of quieter investors who stayed out. Her advice runs both ways. If you are prone to buzz, train yourself to pause when you see a warning sign. If you are prone to braking, do not let caution veto every venture. Likely to trip me up: Cain says the buzz of a possible win feels like insight. Note: the laboratory findings on reward sensitivity are reasonably well supported. The idea that extroverts caused the financial crash is Cain's speculation. (Source: Quiet, Ch. 7.)
Wax in My Ears (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): protect yourself from your own excitement. Keep a Balanced Risk Portfolio (Originals, Adam Grant): pair a big risk with safety elsewhere.
Decision-Making & Risk
Buzz and Brakes
Ch. 7, Why Did Wall Street Crash and Warren Buffett Prosper?: How Introverts and Extroverts Think (and Process Dopamine) Differently. Page not verified (Crown, 2012).
Build emergency fund / invest; Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less
20; 22; 03
Plan: I will review my last three big risks and note if I sped up or slowed down at the warning signs. Then I will write one rule for money decisions that counters my tilt.
risk, reward sensitivity, investing, gambling, warning signs, buzz, caution, dopamine, extrovert, introvert, losses, impulsive, crash, trading, overconfidence, brakes, excitement, self-knowledge, money decisions, fomo
On a winning streak you speed up and double your stake. Or you hesitate at every risk and miss chances that were sound.
Recall your last big gamble, with money or anything else. Did you slow down at the warning, or speed up? Write one rule for next time.
Some people get a big buzz from chasing a reward and miss warning signs. Others feel the brakes first. Know which you are before you bet.
Quiet
Single Model
Susan Cain
Not started
Stop reading quietness, in myself or others, as a defect.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cain traces a shift in early twentieth-century America from what a historian called a culture of character, which prized inner virtue, to a culture of personality, which prized charm and magnetism. City life, selling and self-help manuals drove it. She cites studies showing that talkative people are rated as smarter and more likeable, and that groups tend to follow whoever speaks most and first, though talking most has no link with having the best ideas. She estimates that a third to a half of people are introverts. Likely to trip me up: Cain says introverts absorb the bias and come to see themselves as faulty. Note: part cultural history, part research. Introversion is a spectrum, and Cain's use of the word also takes in sensitivity, which personality researchers treat as a separate trait. (Source: Quiet, Ch. 1.)
Fitting In Is Not Belonging (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): do not reshape yourself to be accepted. Best Story Wins (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): confident delivery often beats better content.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Extrovert Ideal
Ch. 1, The Rise of the 'Mighty Likeable Fellow': How Extroversion Became the Cultural Ideal. Page not verified (Crown, 2012).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Improve relationships / communicate; Improve mental health / be happier
26; 25; 04
Plan: In group discussions I will ask for written ideas first and invite the people who have not spoken. For myself, I will note where my quieter way of working has given better results.
introvert, extrovert, quiet, shy, personality, culture, bias, meetings, loudest voice, charisma, confidence, self-acceptance, school, workplace, talkative, leadership, listening, temperament, social pressure, strengths
You, or your child, are quiet, and you have come to read that as a flaw to fix. In meetings the loudest idea wins, and nobody checks if it was the best.
In your next group discussion, notice who has not spoken. Ask one of them directly what they think, or invite written ideas first.
Our culture treats the bold talker as the ideal person. That is a recent bias, not a law of nature, and it hides what quiet people do well.
Stumbling on Happiness
Single Model
Daniel Gilbert
Not started
For big choices, trust the reports of people living the option today over my own imagination.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gilbert's answer to all the errors of imagination is to stop imagining. He calls the alternative surrogation: use someone else's present experience as a stand-in for your future one. In his laboratory's experiments, people who were told only how one stranger had felt in a situation predicted their own feelings more accurately than people who were given the details and asked to imagine. Yet when offered the choice, almost everyone prefers to imagine. Likely to trip me up: Gilbert says we reject surrogates because we believe we are unique, when in fact people's emotional reactions are far more alike than we think. Note: from Gilbert's own laboratory, with modest sample sizes. The studies were later published in a leading journal. (Source: Stumbling on Happiness, Ch. 11.)
The Planning Fallacy (take the Outside View) (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): use how it went for others. Take Advice Only From Those Who Know (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): ask the person who has done it.
Decision-Making & Risk
Surrogation: Ask Someone Who Is There
Part VI, Corrigibility: Ch. 11, Reporting Live from Tomorrow. Page not verified (Knopf, 2006).
Learn a skill / upskill; Reduce debt / control spending; Improve mental health / be happier
17; 22; 04
Plan: For each major decision I will find two people who are in that situation now and ask how an ordinary day feels. I will write their answers next to my own forecast.
surrogation, advice, prediction, decisions, career, big purchase, ask others, outside view, uniqueness, imagination, forecast, experience, interview, moving, parenting, happiness, choice, regret, research, real life
Facing a big choice, you close your eyes and imagine. You ignore the people already living that life, since you think you are different.
For a decision you are weighing, find one person living that option today. Ask how an ordinary day feels, not what they would advise.
To predict how you will feel in a future situation, do not imagine it. Ask someone who is in that situation right now how they feel.
Stumbling on Happiness
Single Model
Daniel Gilbert
Not started
Stop treating my mental film of the future as a reliable forecast.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gilbert says the brain fills gaps without telling us. The eye has a blind spot we never see, since the brain paints it in, and memory and imagination work the same way. When we imagine a future event, the brain invents many details and we accept them as given. It also leaves things out, and we fail to notice what is missing. Asked how they would feel two years after a great loss, people picture only the loss, and not the hundreds of other events that would fill those two years. Likely to trip me up: Gilbert says the trick is done so quickly and smoothly that imagining feels like seeing. Note: this rests on a large body of experiments on memory and imagination. (Source: Stumbling on Happiness, Ch. 4 and Ch. 5.)
What You See Is All There Is (WYSIATI) (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): we do not notice what is absent. The Map Is Not the Territory (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): the picture is not the thing.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Mind Fills In and Leaves Out
Part III, Realism: Ch. 4, In the Blind Spot of the Mind's Eye, and Ch. 5, The Hound of Silence. Page not verified (Knopf, 2006).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety
15; 12
Plan: When I dread or crave a future event, I will list five ordinary details my mental picture leaves out, and rate my feeling again after.
imagination, future, prediction, details, blind spot, dread, anticipation, forecast, mental picture, missing information, decisions, worry, fantasy, assumptions, bias, memory, fill in, expectations, regret, planning
You turn down the move, the job or the party on the strength of a vivid mental film. You never notice that you wrote the script.
For one thing you dread or long for, list five ordinary details your picture leaves out: the commute, a wet Tuesday, the laundry.
When you imagine a future, your brain quietly invents some details and leaves out others. You then judge the picture as if it were accurate.
Flow
Single Model
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Not started
Give my free time enough shape that I enjoy it, and notice the good moments that work already gives me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Csikszentmihalyi paged workers at random moments and asked what they were doing and how they felt. People were in flow-like states about half the time at work and under a fifth of the time in leisure. Yet at work they said they wished they were somewhere else, and in leisure they did not. He calls this the paradox of work. His explanation: jobs come with goals, feedback, rules and challenges, which are the conditions for flow. Free time has none of these built in, so it takes more effort to shape into something enjoyable, and much of it goes to passive entertainment. Likely to trip me up: he says we follow the cultural script that work is a burden and leisure is the prize, and ignore our own experience. Note: one sample of American workers in the 1980s, using self-report. (Source: Flow, Ch. 7.)
Fill the Void First (High-Quality Leisure) (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): leisure needs planning. Job Crafting (Grit, Angela Duckworth): reshape the job you have.
Productivity & Focus
The Paradox of Work and Leisure
Ch. 7, Work as Flow, sections 'The Paradox of Work' and 'The Waste of Free Time'. Page not verified (Harper & Row, 1990).
Be more productive / organised; Cut phone / social-media use; Improve mental health / be happier
13; 06; 04
Plan: I will plan one block of each weekend with a goal and a skill in it. For a week I will also note the moments at work when I was absorbed, to see what my job already offers.
work, leisure, free time, weekends, paradox, flow, boredom, tv, structure, goals, job satisfaction, hobbies, passive entertainment, planning, sunday, enjoyment, time off, engagement, routine, rest
You live for the weekend, then spend it half-bored in front of a screen, and feel flat on Sunday night.
Plan one block of this weekend the way you would plan work: a goal, a skill to use, and a way to tell how it went.
People find more flow at work than in leisure, yet long to be elsewhere. Free time has no built-in goals, so it takes skill to enjoy.
Drive
Single Model
Daniel Pink
Not started
Find out which kind of control I am missing at work, and get a little more of it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Pink draws on self-determination theory, which holds that autonomy is a basic human need. He says autonomy is not the same as working alone. It means acting with choice. He breaks it into four parts: what people do, when they do it, how they do it, and whom they do it with. He describes companies that gave staff a free day each quarter to work on anything, and got a burst of fixes and new ideas, and workplaces that judge results and ignore hours. Likely to trip me up: Pink says autonomy is not the absence of accountability, and that different people want different ones of the four. Note: self-determination theory is one of the best-supported theories of motivation. The company stories are anecdotes, and some firms later dropped these schemes. (Source: Drive, Ch. 4.)
Job Crafting (Grit, Angela Duckworth): reshape the job from inside. Stress Without Control (Brain Rules, John Medina): lack of control is what makes stress toxic.
Productivity & Focus
The Four T's of Autonomy
Ch. 4, Autonomy. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2009).
Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier
13; 12; 04
Plan: I will rate my control over task, time, technique and team out of ten, pick the lowest, and ask for or take one small increase this month.
autonomy, control, task, time, technique, team, motivation, work, freedom, micromanagement, flexible hours, job satisfaction, burnout, choice, self-direction, remote work, trust, results, engagement, manager
You feel drained by your work and assume you need a new job. You have not checked which kind of control you are missing, or asked for it.
Rate your control over task, time, technique and team from one to ten. Pick the lowest and ask for, or take, one small increase.
People do their best work when they have a say over four things: their task, their time, their technique and their team.
Quiet
Single Model
Susan Cain
Not started
Set my surroundings to the level of stimulation at which I work and feel best.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cain says introverts and extroverts differ in how much outside stimulation they need to feel at their best, from noise to company to caffeine. She describes an experiment in which people chose the volume of background noise for a learning task. Introverts chose a lower volume. Each group did best at its own chosen level and worse at the other's. She calls these levels sweet spots, and says we can arrange our work, homes and social lives around them. She adds a limit she calls the rubber band theory: we can stretch our personalities, but only so far. Likely to trip me up: Cain says most workplaces and social events are set to suit people who need a lot of stimulation. Note: the noise experiment was small. The general idea of an optimal level of arousal is long-standing, though the biology is more complex than a single dial. (Source: Quiet, Ch. 5.)
The Flow Channel (Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi): a channel between too little and too much. Stress Is a Dose (Spark, John Ratey): the right amount helps and too much harms.
Mindset & Emotions
Find Your Sweet Spot of Stimulation
Ch. 5, Beyond Temperament: The Role of Free Will (and the Secret of Public Speaking for Introverts). Page not verified (Crown, 2012).
Manage stress / anxiety; Sleep better; Beat procrastination / focus
12; 05; 07
Plan: For a week I will note when I feel overloaded or restless, and what was going on around me. Then I will adjust one dial at a time: noise, people, screens, pace.
stimulation, arousal, sweet spot, noise, introvert, extrovert, overload, restless, environment, energy, caffeine, social, quiet, workspace, overwhelm, boredom, temperament, balance, self-knowledge, recovery
You are frazzled by evening, or bored and restless, and you blame your character. The real issue is surroundings set to someone else's level.
Note three moments today when you felt overloaded or understimulated. For each, change one dial: noise, people, screen or pace.
Everyone has a level of stimulation at which they feel and work best. Introverts need less, extroverts more. Build your day around yours.
Thinking in Systems
Single Model
Donella Meadows
Not started
Stop overcorrecting when results are slow to show.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Meadows models a car dealer who orders stock based on recent sales. There are delays in noticing a change in sales, in deciding to respond, and in delivery. With those delays, the dealer's stock swings up and down, overshooting each time. The surprise is that reacting faster makes the swings worse. Reacting more gently calms them. She says delays in feedback are among the strongest shapers of how any system behaves. Her everyday example is a shower with a long pipe between tap and head: you turn it up, nothing happens, you turn it up more, and then you are scalded. Likely to trip me up: impatience looks like commitment, so overcorrecting feels like the responsible thing to do. Note: a result from computer models of systems. It applies to personal habits by analogy. (Source: Thinking in Systems, Ch. 2.)
Update in Small Steps (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): adjust gradually as evidence comes in. Regression to the Mean (The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli): extreme readings drift back without any help from you.
Systems & Strategy
Delays Cause Overshoot
Ch. 2, A Brief Visit to the Systems Zoo. Starts on p. 35 (Chelsea Green, 2008).
Lose weight; Exercise / move daily; Eat healthier
08; 01; 02
Plan: For each change I make, I will write how long the result should realistically take to appear, and I will not adjust the plan before that date. When I do adjust, I will change one thing by a small amount.
delay, overshoot, oscillation, overcorrect, patience, feedback, diet, yo-yo, training, results, lag, shower, systems, crash diet, injury, adjustments, waiting, impatience, swings, gradual
Three days into a diet or training plan you see no change, so you double down. Two weeks later you are exhausted or hurt, and you swing to doing nothing.
For one change you are making, write how long the result should take to show. Do not adjust the plan before that date.
When results lag behind actions, you overcorrect, first one way, then the other. The longer the delay, the gentler your changes should be.
Drive
Single Model
Daniel Pink
Not started
Build an exercise habit that runs on enjoyment and getting better, so it survives when outside pressure fades.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Pink gives four tips. Set your own goals, and do not accept a standard handed to you. Ditch the treadmill unless you like it, and find a form of exercise you enjoy. Keep mastery in mind, since getting better at something is a source of energy that renews itself. And reward yourself the right way: avoid 'if-then' payments for working out, and keep the occasional 'now that' treat. Likely to trip me up: Pink says outside goals, such as looking good for an event, get people started and then stop working once the event has passed. Note: this fits later reviews of exercise research, which find that people who exercise for their own reasons, such as enjoyment and competence, are the ones who keep going. (Source: Drive, Part Three.)
Exercise Is the Strongest Lever (Outlive, Peter Attia): why the habit is worth building. Reimagine the Task (Find the Fun) (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): make the activity itself more engaging.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Type I Fitness Plan
Part Three, The Type I Toolkit, section 'The Type I Fitness Plan'. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2009).
Exercise / move daily; Lose weight
01; 08
Plan: I will choose a form of movement I like, set my own skill goal for it, and track how I improve. I will not pay or bribe myself to go.
exercise, fitness, gym, motivation, intrinsic, enjoyment, treadmill, goals, mastery, sport, weight loss, adherence, workout, fun, skills, rewards, consistency, movement, quitting, self-set goals
You exercise for a number on the scale or a wedding date, on a machine you hate. When the date passes or the number stalls, you stop.
List three kinds of movement you have ever enjoyed. Book one this week, and set a skill goal for it: a distance, a move or a time.
Exercise lasts when it runs on inner motives: goals you set yourself, movement you enjoy, and getting better at it. Outside rewards fade.
Thinking in Systems
Single Model
Donella Meadows
Not started
Spot the quick fixes that are making my real problems worse, and rebuild my own ability to cope first.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Meadows describes a trap she calls shifting the burden. A problem produces a symptom. An outside fix relieves the symptom quickly. While the fix is in use, the system's own ability to deal with the problem withers, so more of the fix is needed. She says this is the structure of addiction, from caffeine and alcohol to subsidies and pesticides. The fix really does work in the short run, which is what makes it a trap. Her advice: the best way out is not to get in. If you are in, first build up the system's own capacity, then withdraw the fix, and expect that to hurt. Likely to trip me up: Meadows says withdrawal is painful whichever way it is done, so people put it off. Note: a systems description, not a clinical one. Dependence on nicotine, alcohol or drugs needs medical support. (Source: Thinking in Systems, Ch. 5.)
You Cannot Numb Selectively (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): the emotional cost of the quick fix. Golden Rule of Habit Change (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): keep the cue and reward, swap the routine.
Habits & Behavior Change
Shifting the Burden: The Addiction Trap
Ch. 5, System Traps... and Opportunities (the trap 'Shifting the Burden to the Intervenor'). Starts on p. 111 (Chelsea Green, 2008).
Quit smoking / vaping; Drink less alcohol; Cut phone / social-media use; Sleep better
10; 11; 06; 05
Plan: For each fix I lean on, I will name the real problem under it and give that problem fifteen minutes a day. Only when my own coping is stronger will I cut the fix back.
addiction, quick fix, dependence, symptom, root cause, caffeine, alcohol, smoking, phone, coping, withdrawal, crutch, tolerance, systems, short term, relief, capacity, stress, sleep aids, trap
Coffee for the tiredness, a drink for the stress, the phone for the boredom. The fix works tonight, and the real problem is a little worse tomorrow.
Name one quick fix you lean on. Write the real problem under it. Spend fifteen minutes today on the real problem.
A quick fix eases the symptom but weakens your own power to solve the problem. So you need the fix more. Meadows calls that loop addiction.
Switch
Single Model
Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Not started
Make my first step small enough to win, and keep my progress where I can see it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the Heaths describe a car wash that gave out two loyalty cards. One needed eight stamps. The other needed ten and came with two stamps already filled in. The distance was the same, and far more people completed the second card, since they felt they had already started. They describe a cleaning trick of setting a timer for five minutes and tidying one room until it rings. They also describe a finance coach who tells people to pay off their smallest debt first, whatever the interest rate, since a quick win builds the hope needed to face the rest. Likely to trip me up: the Heaths say small wins look trivial to the planning mind, which wants the correct big plan. Note: the loyalty-card finding has held up. Paying the smallest debt first costs more in interest, and later studies found it does help people keep going. A hotel-cleaner study cited in the chapter is small and disputed. (Source: Switch, Ch. 6.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): shrink the start. One Oil Barrel at a Time (Eat That Frog!, Brian Tracy): cross the desert one marker at a time.
Habits & Behavior Change
Shrink the Change
Ch. 6, Shrink the Change. Page not verified (Broadway Books, 2010).
Reduce debt / control spending; Be more productive / organised; Lose weight
22; 13; 08
Plan: I will list my debts and chores from smallest to largest and clear the smallest first. I will keep a visible tally of what is already done.
small wins, debt snowball, progress, overwhelm, first step, head start, hope, momentum, cleaning, five minutes, loyalty card, milestones, confidence, shrink, big goals, clutter, motivation, quick win, tally, start
The debt, the mess or the weight looks so large that any single action seems pointless. So you take none.
Set a timer for five minutes and tidy one room until it rings. Or pay off your smallest debt first. Notice what it does to your appetite for the next step.
Shrink the change until a first win is certain, and make your progress so far visible. Early wins build the hope that carries the rest.
Drive
Single Model
Daniel Pink
Not started
Have one sentence that says what my life is for, and a nightly check that keeps it alive.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Pink tells how a writer and congresswoman advised a president that a great man is one sentence, such as: he preserved the union and freed the slaves. Pink's exercise is to ask what your sentence is, as a way to find your purpose and cut away what does not serve it. He pairs the big question with a small one, to be asked every night: was I better today than yesterday? The small question keeps progress in view on the days when the big one feels far away. Likely to trip me up: a sentence is easy to write and easy to forget. The nightly question is the part that does the work, and it is the part people drop. Note: an exercise, not a research finding. (Source: Drive, Part Three.)
Begin with the End in Mind (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): decide what it should add up to. The Goal Hierarchy (Grit, Angela Duckworth): one top goal that the rest serve.
Mindset & Emotions
What's Your Sentence?
Part Three, The Type I Toolkit, section 'Type I for Individuals'. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2009).
Journal / self-reflect; Be more productive / organised; Improve mental health / be happier
24; 13; 04
Plan: I will write my sentence in under twenty words and put it where I see it each morning. Each night I will write one line answering: was I better today than yesterday?
purpose, sentence, legacy, mission, daily review, progress, better today, reflection, journal, clarity, focus, goals, meaning, motivation, direction, nightly question, life purpose, identity, priorities, improvement
Your goals are a scattered list. Nothing ties the days together, and you have no simple way to tell if today moved you anywhere.
Write your sentence in under twenty words. Tonight, ask: 'Was I a little better today than yesterday?' Answer in one line.
Sum up what you want your life to stand for in one sentence. Then end each day with a small question: was I better today than yesterday?
Flow
Single Model
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Not started
Get better at making dull or hard situations interesting from the inside.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: autotelic comes from the Greek for self and goal: an activity done for its own sake. Csikszentmihalyi describes people who can enjoy situations others find unbearable, from assembly-line workers to prisoners who kept their minds intact with mental games. He sums up what they do in four steps: set goals, become immersed in the activity, pay attention to what is happening, and learn to enjoy the immediate experience. Such people need few possessions or outside rewards, since so much of what they do is already rewarding. Likely to trip me up: he says two things block it. Constant worry about how we look keeps attention on the self. So does seeing everything in terms of our own gain. Either way, no attention is left for the task. Note: a personality description drawn from interviews. He says upbringing and temperament play a part. (Source: Flow, Ch. 4 and Ch. 9.)
Reimagine the Task (Find the Fun) (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): add challenge to a dull task. The Last of the Human Freedoms (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): the stance you take is yours.
Mindset & Emotions
The Autotelic Self
Ch. 4, The Conditions of Flow, section 'The Autotelic Personality'. Summarised in Ch. 9, Cheating Chaos. Page not verified (Harper & Row, 1990).
Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety; Beat procrastination / focus
04; 12; 07
Plan: Each day I will take the dullest task on my list and give it a goal and a score, such as speed, neatness or fewest errors. I will note if the task felt different.
autotelic, intrinsic, own sake, boredom, dull tasks, game, goals, immersion, attention, enjoyment, resilience, self-consciousness, chores, hardship, motivation, mindset, play, present moment, meaning, flow
You wait for circumstances to be interesting. In a dull job, a queue or a hardship, you switch off and endure.
Pick the dullest thing you must do today. Give it a goal and a way to score it: faster, neater, fewer errors. Play it.
An autotelic person can turn almost any situation into a game worth playing: set a goal, get absorbed, pay attention, enjoy the moment.
Drive
Single Model
Daniel Pink
Not started
Stop paying myself to do things I want to enjoy for their own sake.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Pink reports a classic study in which preschool children who liked drawing were promised a certificate for drawing. Two weeks later they drew less in their free time than children who got no reward or an unexpected one. He also describes a puzzle that needs a flash of insight: people offered cash for speed solved it more slowly. He lists seven flaws of 'if-then' rewards, among them that they can extinguish inner motivation, crush creativity, encourage short cuts and become addictive. Likely to trip me up: Pink says the rewards work at first, which hides the later cost. Note: Pink is a journalist summarising other people's research. A large review supports the undermining effect, and other researchers argue it holds only under specific conditions. Immediate good feelings that come with the act itself are a different thing, and they help habits form. (Source: Drive, Ch. 2.)
Rewards Must Be Immediate (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): the other side, that habits need a reward felt during the act. Emotions Create Habits (Celebrate at Once) (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): a feeling, not a payment.
Habits & Behavior Change
If-Then Rewards Backfire
Ch. 2, Seven Reasons Carrots and Sticks (Often) Don't Work. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2009).
Read / learn more; Exercise / move daily; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 01; 17
Plan: I will list the habits I currently bribe myself to do. For reading and exercise I will drop the bribe for a month and look for what is enjoyable in the activity itself.
rewards, incentives, motivation, intrinsic, extrinsic, bribes, carrots and sticks, children, reading, creativity, bonus, payment, overjustification, interest, chores, practice, grades, play, work, self-determination
You bribe yourself or your child to read, practise or exercise. It works for a week. Then the activity feels like a chore that is owed a payment.
Pick one activity you reward yourself for. Drop the reward for a week, and look for what is enjoyable in the activity itself.
'Do this and you get that' rewards suit dull, routine work. For creative tasks, or ones you already enjoy, they can drain the interest out.
Quiet
Single Model
Susan Cain
Not started
Do my thinking and practising alone, and use groups for sharing and refining.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cain reports decades of research showing that people who brainstorm in groups produce fewer and poorer ideas than the same number of people working alone, and that results get worse as the group gets bigger. The reasons given are that some people sit back, only one person can talk at a time, and people fear looking foolish. She cites the finding that top violinists spent most of their practice time alone, and a study of programmers in which the best performers worked at companies that gave them privacy and freedom from interruption. She also reports research linking open-plan offices with lower productivity and more stress. Likely to trip me up: Cain says group work feels productive and sociable, so we trust it. Note: the brainstorming result is one of the more solid findings in social psychology. The office studies show links, not causes. Cain notes that brainstorming online works better. (Source: Quiet, Ch. 3.)
Liquid Networks (Where Good Ideas Come From, Steven Johnson): the counterweight, since ideas still need contact with other minds. Attention Residue (Deep Work, Cal Newport): interruptions cost more than their length.
Creativity & Ideas
Solitude Beats Brainstorming
Ch. 3, When Collaboration Kills Creativity: The Rise of the New Groupthink and the Power of Working Alone. Page not verified (Crown, 2012).
Be more productive / organised; Limit multitasking / context-switching; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 28; 17
Plan: I will block two solo sessions a week with no interruptions. Before any group session, each of us will write ideas alone for ten minutes and then share.
solitude, brainstorming, groupthink, open plan, interruptions, working alone, creativity, meetings, deep practice, privacy, ideas, collaboration, focus, introverts, office, productivity, teamwork, quiet, concentration, writing first
Every problem gets a meeting. You sit in an open office, interrupted all day, and wonder why nothing original gets made.
Before your next group session, have everyone write ideas alone for ten minutes, then share. Block one solo session for your own work.
People come up with more and better ideas alone than in a group brainstorm. Serious practice and original work need uninterrupted solitude.
Thinking in Systems
Single Model
Donella Meadows
Not started
When a habit is stuck, stop fiddling with the numbers and change something higher up.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Meadows ranks twelve places to intervene in a system, from weakest to strongest. At the weak end are numbers: targets, rates, budgets. Most effort goes there, and it rarely changes behaviour. Stronger are delays and feedback loops. Stronger still are information flows: she tells of houses where the electricity meter sat in the front hall and used far less power than identical houses with the meter in the basement. Above that come the rules of the system, then its goals, and at the top the beliefs the whole system grows out of. Likely to trip me up: Meadows says numbers are the easiest thing to change, which is why nearly all attention goes to them. She also warns that people often find the right lever and push it the wrong way. Note: Meadows called the list tentative. The meter story is an anecdote. (Source: Thinking in Systems, Ch. 6.)
Choice Architecture (Nudge, Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): change the setting and the choices change. Friction (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): a small change to the path beats a big change to the target.
Systems & Strategy
Leverage Points
Ch. 6, Leverage Points: Places to Intervene in a System. Starts on p. 145 (Chelsea Green, 2008).
Be more productive / organised; Eat healthier; Cut phone / social-media use
13; 02; 06
Plan: For each stuck habit I will try, in order: make the key information visible, change a rule, and then question the goal itself. I will only adjust a target number last.
leverage, systems, intervention, rules, goals, information, feedback, numbers, targets, paradigm, beliefs, tracking, visibility, change, habits, budget, meter, structure, strategy, root cause
You try to change your life by adjusting numbers: a calorie target, a budget figure, an alarm time. The rules and goals behind your behaviour stay the same.
For one stuck habit, do not change the number. Change what you can see (a tracker), a rule (no phone in the bedroom), or the goal itself.
Where you push on a system matters more than how hard. Tweaking numbers does least. Changing information, rules, goals or beliefs does most.
Stumbling on Happiness
Single Model
Daniel Gilbert
Not started
Keep a written record of how things felt at the time, so I stop planning my life from a faulty memory.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gilbert says memory does not keep a full recording. It keeps a few key threads and rebuilds the rest each time. Two kinds of moment are over-represented: the unusual and the final. Commuters asked to recall a time they missed a train tend to recall the worst time, not a typical one, and then predict that missing a train will feel terrible. Endings colour the memory of whole experiences. He says we also remember feeling what we believe we must have felt. The result is that experience teaches us less than it should. Likely to trip me up: Gilbert says memories feel like recordings, so we trust them. Note: the weight of peaks and endings in memory is well established in laboratory studies. How large it is in everyday life varies. (Source: Stumbling on Happiness, Ch. 10.)
Keep Score (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): written records beat recollection. Track Every Cent (No Shame, No Blame) (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): log it, do not guess it.
Biases & Blind Spots
Memory Keeps the Odd Bits
Part VI, Corrigibility: Ch. 10, Once Bitten. Page not verified (Knopf, 2006).
Journal / self-reflect; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop overthinking / rumination
24; 04; 15
Plan: Each night I will rate the day out of ten and note the best and worst hour. After a month I will compare the log with what I would have said from memory.
memory, recall, peak-end, endings, unusual, journal, log, experience, learning, mistakes, repeat, holiday, nostalgia, record, diary, mood tracking, bias, reconstruction, past, prediction
You repeat a holiday, a kind of job or a pattern in love that you 'remember' as great, and it lets you down again.
Tonight, rate your day out of ten and note the best and worst hour. Do it for two weeks, then compare with what you would have remembered.
Memory keeps the unusual moments and the endings, and rebuilds the rest. So your record of what made you happy or miserable is unreliable.
Flow
Single Model
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Not started
Put more of my free time into things that take effort and leave something behind.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Csikszentmihalyi separates pleasure from enjoyment. Pleasure is the feeling of a need being met, such as food, rest or comfort. It restores order in the mind and asks for no effort, and it does not make the self grow. Enjoyment comes when we go beyond what we were programmed to do and achieve something unexpected: a close game, a book that shows things in a new light, a conversation that draws out ideas we did not know we had. It takes an unusual investment of attention, and afterwards we feel we have changed. Likely to trip me up: he says enjoyment asks for effort at the start, so tired people choose pleasure, though his studies found they feel worse during it. Note: his findings come from asking people how they feel at random moments of the day. That shows links, not causes. (Source: Flow, Ch. 3.)
Fill the Void First (High-Quality Leisure) (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): plan demanding leisure before you cut the screens. Harmony: Balance Wanting with Having (The Molecule of More, Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long): mastery satisfies both drives.
Mindset & Emotions
Pleasure Is Not Enjoyment
Ch. 3, Enjoyment and the Quality of Life, section 'Pleasure and Enjoyment'. Page not verified (Harper & Row, 1990).
Improve mental health / be happier; Cut phone / social-media use; Learn a skill / upskill
04; 06; 17
Plan: Each evening I will swap thirty minutes of passive screen time for one activity that uses a skill. I will note how I feel an hour later compared with a screen evening.
pleasure, enjoyment, leisure, effort, growth, screens, tv, hobbies, passive, skill, satisfaction, comfort, free time, flow, challenge, emptiness, weekends, rest, active, happiness
Your free time is all pleasure: screens, snacks, the sofa. It is pleasant and leaves nothing behind, and you feel vaguely empty.
Swap thirty minutes of passive leisure today for something that takes skill: an instrument, a sport, a hard book, a new recipe.
Pleasure comes when a need is met: food, rest, comfort. Enjoyment comes from effort that stretches you. Only enjoyment makes you grow.
Drive
Single Model
Daniel Pink
Not started
Match the kind of reward to the kind of task.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Pink gives a simple test. If the task is routine and follows set steps, a promised reward does little harm, and it helps more if you explain why the task matters, admit that it is boring, and let people do it their own way. If the task needs creativity, make sure basic pay is fair, and then use what he calls 'now that' rewards: unexpected, and given after the work is done. He prefers praise and specific feedback to cash or trophies, since information about how you did supports inner motivation. Likely to trip me up: Pink warns that a 'now that' reward repeated often becomes expected, and turns back into 'if-then'. Note: drawn from the same body of research as the previous model, with the same debate about how far it applies. (Source: Drive, Ch. 2A.)
Emotions Create Habits (Celebrate at Once) (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): celebrate straight after the act. Rewards Must Be Immediate (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): timing decides if a reward builds a habit.
Habits & Behavior Change
Now-That Rewards
Ch. 2A, ...and the Special Circumstances When They Do. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2009).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 07; 17
Plan: I will sort my tasks into routine and creative. Routine ones can carry a small promised reward. Creative ones get no promise, and I will mark good work afterwards with something unplanned.
rewards, surprise, praise, feedback, routine tasks, creative tasks, motivation, celebration, bonus, incentives, now that, if then, recognition, team, children, chores, fairness, autonomy, boring work, management
You have heard that rewards are bad, so you give none. Or you promise rewards for everything. Neither fits the task in front of you.
Sort today's tasks into routine and creative. Attach a small reward to a routine one. For a creative one, promise nothing, and celebrate after.
A surprise reward after the work, 'now that you have finished', does little harm. For dull routine tasks, ordinary rewards work fine.
Flow
Single Model
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Not started
Treat my attention as a budget that I spend on purpose.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Csikszentmihalyi says the mind can only process a small amount of information at a time, so attention is the scarcest thing we have. He calls it psychic energy: it selects what enters consciousness, and we create ourselves by how we invest it. When worries or outside demands pull attention away from our own goals, he calls the result psychic entropy, a disorder in the mind. When attention is freely invested in goals we have chosen, the mind is in order, which is the state he calls flow. Likely to trip me up: he says most people let their attention be directed by outside stimuli, instinct or habit, and rarely by choice. Note: his specific estimate of the mind's capacity comes from 1950s information theory and is rough. The broader point, that attention is limited, is well supported. (Source: Flow, Ch. 2.)
Attention Residue (Deep Work, Cal Newport): every switch leaves some attention behind. The Cost Is Measured in Life (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): what an app costs you is the life you trade for it.
Productivity & Focus
Attention Is Psychic Energy
Ch. 2, The Anatomy of Consciousness, section 'Attention as Psychic Energy'. Page not verified (Harper & Row, 1990).
Cut phone / social-media use; Beat procrastination / focus; Stop overthinking / rumination
06; 07; 15
Plan: Three times a day I will stop and ask where my attention is and if I chose that. Each morning I will name the one thing that gets my best hour of attention.
attention, focus, psychic energy, consciousness, distraction, phone, limited, invest, choice, mental energy, worry, alerts, priorities, awareness, control, mind, scattered, concentration, entropy, flow
Your attention goes wherever it is pulled: alerts, worries, whatever is loudest. At the end of the day you cannot say what you spent it on.
Three times today, stop and ask: 'Where is my attention right now, and did I choose that?'
Attention is the energy your whole mental life runs on, and it is limited. Where you invest it, day after day, shapes who you become.
Stumbling on Happiness
Single Model
Daniel Gilbert
Not started
Catch my present mood before it makes decisions for a future me who will feel different.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gilbert says the brain imagines the future with the same machinery it uses to feel the present, so today's feelings leak into tomorrow's forecast. Hungry shoppers buy too much, and people who have just eaten cannot imagine wanting food tomorrow. When we try to picture how something will feel, we check how we feel while picturing it, and mistake that for the answer. We also compare options now in ways we will not compare them later, once we have only one of them. Likely to trip me up: Gilbert says we cannot easily feel good about an imagined future while feeling bad in the present, and we rarely notice the present is doing the talking. Note: well-supported laboratory findings, known to economists as projection bias. (Source: Stumbling on Happiness, Ch. 6 and Ch. 7.)
Hyperbolic Discounting (The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli): now weighs more than later. Know When You Will Choose Badly (Nudge, Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): plan around your predictable weak moments.
Biases & Blind Spots
Presentism
Part IV, Presentism: Ch. 6, The Future Is Now, and Ch. 7, Time Bombs. Page not verified (Knopf, 2006).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Eat healthier; Reduce debt / control spending
19; 02; 22
Plan: I will not shop for food when hungry or make plans when exhausted. Before any future-facing choice I will note my current state and ask how it is tilting my forecast.
present bias, mood, hungry shopping, forecast, projection, future self, impulse, planning, tired, emotions, decisions, overeating, overspending, promises, comparison, now, state, prediction, willpower, groceries
Full after dinner, you vow never to overeat again. Tired tonight, you cancel next week's plans. Your present mood is making promises for a different you.
Before one future-facing decision today, ask: 'How do I feel right now, and how is that shaping my forecast?'
You imagine the future by starting from how you feel now. Shop hungry and you buy too much. Plan when low and everything looks grey.
Stumbling on Happiness
Single Model
Daniel Gilbert
Not started
Base my fear of failure on how I have actually coped before, and stop keeping every option open.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gilbert says the mind has defences, much like the body's, that find the best available view of whatever has happened to us. They switch on for big blows more than for small annoyances, so a serious setback can hurt for a shorter time than we expect. They also switch on when we are stuck with an outcome. In one study, photography students who could not swap their chosen print ended up liking it more than students who could. Yet people asked in advance prefer the freedom to change their minds. He adds that we regret what we did not do more than what we did, since inaction is harder to explain away. Likely to trip me up: Gilbert says the system works out of sight, so we never learn to count on it. Note: the general finding is well replicated. Some later researchers argue that the size of the error is overstated by the way the questions are asked. (Source: Stumbling on Happiness, Ch. 8 and Ch. 9.)
Make Your Decisions Nonreversible (The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz): Schwartz builds his advice on this research. Every Fear Is 'I Can't Handle It' (Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers): you can handle more than you think.
Mindset & Emotions
The Psychological Immune System
Part V, Rationalization: Ch. 8, Paradise Glossed, and Ch. 9, Immune to Reality. Page not verified (Knopf, 2006).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier
27; 12; 04
Plan: Before a risky step I will write how long my last three setbacks really hurt. After I choose, I will close the other options where I can.
resilience, coping, rationalisation, setback, fear of failure, regret, impact bias, recovery, options, commitment, irreversible, adaptation, breakup, job loss, forecast, inaction, risk, worry, bounce back, decisions
Fear of how awful you would feel if it went wrong stops you trying. You also keep options open 'just in case', and end up less happy with what you chose.
Recall your worst setback of five years ago. Write how long the pain really lasted and what came of it. Use that as your forecast.
The mind has defences that make the best of bad outcomes. You will cope with most setbacks far better, and sooner, than you expect.
Flow
Single Model
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Not started
Tune the difficulty of my tasks so that I stay absorbed, and stop blaming my willpower.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Csikszentmihalyi draws a simple chart with challenge on one axis and skill on the other. When challenge far exceeds skill, we feel anxiety. When skill far exceeds challenge, we feel boredom. Flow sits in the channel between, where the two are matched. He adds that the channel moves: as skill grows, the same activity becomes boring, so we must take on more to get back in. Flow activities also have clear goals and quick feedback, which let attention lock on. Likely to trip me up: he says nobody can stay in the same spot for long, so what absorbed me last year will bore me now. Note: built on decades of interviews and surveys across many cultures, mostly self-report. Later studies find the match of challenge and skill is a good but imperfect predictor of flow. (Source: Flow, Ch. 4.)
The Goldilocks Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): Clear's version of the same channel. Deliberate Practice (Peak, Anders Ericsson): practice set just beyond current skill.
Productivity & Focus
The Flow Channel
Ch. 4, The Conditions of Flow. Page not verified (Harper & Row, 1990).
Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill; Exercise / move daily
07; 17; 01
Plan: Before each work block I will rate the task as too easy, about right or too hard. If it is too easy I will add a target or constraint. If too hard, I will cut it down or learn the missing piece first.
flow, challenge, skill, boredom, anxiety, absorption, focus, difficulty, zone, engagement, goals, feedback, practice, motivation, stretch, tasks, concentration, progress, games, work
Your work is either so easy you drift or so hard you freeze. You blame your focus, when the fault is the level of the task.
Take one task. If it bores you, add a target or a constraint. If it scares you, cut it down or learn the missing skill first.
Flow lives in the channel between boredom and anxiety, where challenge matches skill. As skill grows, raise the challenge to stay in it.
Thinking in Systems
Single Model
Donella Meadows
Not started
Hold my standards to my best self, so that one bad month does not become the new normal.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Meadows calls this trap drift to low performance, or eroding goals. We notice bad results more than good ones, so we think we are doing worse than we are. If our standard is allowed to follow that gloomy reading of recent performance, the standard drops. A lower standard means less corrective effort, which means worse results, which lowers the standard again. The loop runs slowly enough that no single step alarms us. Her way out: keep standards absolute. Better still, let them be set by your best performances and not your worst, and the same loop runs upward. Likely to trip me up: each small slide looks reasonable next to the one before. Note: a pattern described by systems modellers. It is conceptual, not an experimental result. (Source: Thinking in Systems, Ch. 5.)
The OK Plateau (Moonwalking with Einstein, Joshua Foer): settling for good enough stops improvement. Keep Score (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): an honest record stops the quiet slide.
Systems & Strategy
Drift to Low Performance
Ch. 5, System Traps... and Opportunities. Starts on p. 111 (Chelsea Green, 2008).
Exercise / move daily; Be more productive / organised; Sleep better
01; 13; 05
Plan: I will write down the standard I held at my best for exercise, sleep and work. Each month I will compare myself with that page, not with the month before.
standards, slipping, drift, eroding goals, decline, habits, lowering the bar, boiled frog, performance, discipline, baseline, best self, gradual, excuses, consistency, benchmarks, fitness, quality, reset, comparison
'I used to run five days a week' became four, then two, then 'when I can'. Each step seemed reasonable next to the one before.
Pick one habit that has slid. Write down the standard you held at your best. Reset to that, not to last month's level.
If recent results set your standard, every slip lowers the bar and you drift down. Anchor the standard to your best days, not your latest.
Thinking in Systems
Single Model
Donella Meadows
Not started
Stop staring at the total, and manage the daily flows that set it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Meadows starts with a bathtub. The water in it is a stock. The tap and the drain are flows. A stock is anything that has built up over time and can be measured now: money, body weight, fitness, trust, knowledge. It can only change through its flows, and it changes slowly, since flows take time. She points out that a stock can be raised by increasing the inflow or by reducing the outflow, and that people tend to look only at inflows. Likely to trip me up: Meadows says stocks respond slowly even to sudden changes in flows, so people expect faster results and give up. Note: this is a modelling framework from the field of system dynamics, not an experimental finding. For body weight the picture is simplified, since the body adjusts how much energy it burns. (Source: Thinking in Systems, Ch. 1.)
Confounding Compounding (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): a stock with a reinforcing inflow. Play Great Defence (The Millionaire Next Door, Thomas Stanley and William Danko): wealth is built by controlling the outflow.
Systems & Strategy
Stocks and Flows
Ch. 1, The Basics. Starts on p. 11 (Chelsea Green, 2008).
Lose weight; Save money / spend less; Build emergency fund / invest
08; 03; 20
Plan: For my savings and my weight, I will write the inflows and outflows, pick the one flow I can most easily change, and measure that flow daily. I will check the stock only once a month.
stocks, flows, bathtub, savings, weight, inflow, outflow, accumulation, systems, slow change, patience, spending, calories, fitness, trust, balance, budget, tracking, levels, rates
You stare at the stock, the number on the scale or in the bank, and will it to change. You pay little attention to the daily flows that set it.
Pick one stock you want to change. Write its inflows and outflows. Choose one flow to measure every day this week.
A stock is what has built up: money, weight, fitness, trust. Flows fill and drain it. Stocks change slowly, and only by changing the flows.
Switch
Single Model
Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Not started
Stop collecting more facts about why I should change, and find something I can see and feel.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the Heaths report a study of large change efforts which found that the successful ones did not follow the order analyse, think, change. They followed see, feel, change. Their best-known story is of a manager who wanted his company to fix its wasteful buying. He did not write a report. He collected one of every kind of work glove the company bought, 424 in all, each tagged with its price, and piled them on the boardroom table. The executives saw it, felt it, and acted. Likely to trip me up: the Heaths say that when change is hard we reach for more data, which speaks to the part of us that was already persuaded. Note: built on case studies. The book's opening chapter also leans on two lines of research that later ran into trouble: willpower as a fuel that runs down, and an eating study by a researcher whose work was discredited. This model does not depend on either. (Source: Switch, Ch. 5.)
The Harajuku Moment (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): the moment a fact turns into a feeling. The Rider and the Elephant (The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt): the metaphor the Heaths build on.
Habits & Behavior Change
Find the Feeling
Ch. 5, Find the Feeling. Page not verified (Broadway Books, 2010).
Eat healthier; Save money / spend less; Quit smoking / vaping
02; 03; 10
Plan: For one change I keep postponing, I will make the cost visible: lay out a month of receipts, photograph a week of what I eat, or spend an hour with someone living the result.
emotion, motivation, see feel change, facts, analysis, visible, gloves, persuasion, urgency, change, wake-up call, receipts, photos, elephant, rider, data, denial, action, story, demonstration
You have all the facts about why you should change. You have had them for years. Knowing has not moved you.
For one change you keep postponing, make it visible: pile up a month of receipts, or photograph everything you eat for three days.
Big change rarely comes from analysis. People change when they see something that makes them feel something: see, feel, change.
Switch
Single Model
Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Not started
Turn my vague intentions into plans that name the moment.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the Heaths describe research on what they call action triggers. Students were asked to write a report over the Christmas break. Most of those who first wrote down exactly when and where they would do it handed it in. Most of those who did not, failed to. In another study, patients recovering from hip surgery who wrote such plans were back on their feet far sooner. The Heaths say an action trigger hands the decision to the environment, so it works like an instant habit, and it helps most with hard goals. They add checklists as cheap insurance against the mistakes of overconfidence. Likely to trip me up: the Heaths say the trigger has to be specific and hard to miss. 'When I have time' never fires. Note: researchers call these plans implementation intentions. A review of 94 studies found a medium to large effect, which makes this one of the best-supported tools in behaviour change. (Source: Switch, Ch. 9.)
Habit Stacking (Atomic Habits, James Clear): attach the new act to an existing one. Plan for the Hard Moment (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): decide ahead what you will do at the point of temptation.
Habits & Behavior Change
Action Triggers
Ch. 9, Build Habits. Page not verified (Broadway Books, 2010).
Exercise / move daily; Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised
01; 07; 13
Plan: For each thing I intend to do this week, I will write: 'Right after [event], I will [action] at [place].' I will keep the list on my desk and tick each one off.
action trigger, implementation intention, if-then plan, when and where, intention, follow through, checklist, cue, planning, procrastination, specific, habits, exercise, reminders, schedule, commitment, environment, instant habit, decision, routine
You fully intend to do it 'sometime this week'. The week ends. No moment ever announced itself as the moment.
Write one action trigger: 'Tomorrow, right after [specific event], I will [specific action] at [place].' Put it where you will see it.
Decide in advance when and where you will act: 'when X happens, I will do Y'. The situation then triggers the act, with no debate needed.
Quiet
Single Model
Susan Cain
Not started
Do the out-of-character things my project needs, and recover on purpose afterwards.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cain presents the psychologist Brian Little's free trait theory. We are born with fixed traits, and we can still act out of character in the service of what he calls core personal projects: work we find meaningful, people we love, things we value. Little himself is a strong introvert and a famously lively lecturer, who hides in a quiet place afterwards to recover. He calls such places restorative niches. Cain adds the idea of a free trait agreement: negotiate with family or colleagues how often you will stretch and when you get to be yourself. Likely to trip me up: Cain warns that acting out of character for long stretches without recovery leads to stress and burnout. Note: a theory from personality psychology with supportive but limited evidence. (Source: Quiet, Ch. 9.)
Say 'I Am Excited' (Originals, Adam Grant): a way through the nerves of performing. P/PC Balance (Sharpen the Saw) (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): recovery is part of the work.
Mindset & Emotions
Free Traits and Restorative Niches
Ch. 9, When Should You Act More Extroverted Than You Really Are? Page not verified (Crown, 2012).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve relationships / communicate; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
12; 25; 27
Plan: I will list the out-of-character tasks my channel needs, such as talking on camera and reaching out to people. I will do one a week and book quiet time straight after each.
acting out of character, introvert, public speaking, recovery, restorative niche, free traits, core projects, energy, networking, performance, burnout, authenticity, stretch, quiet time, personality, presenting, selling, social battery, balance, agreement
You think 'that is just not me' and avoid the talk, the pitch or the party your project needs. Or you force yourself non-stop and burn out.
Pick one out-of-character thing your main project needs this week. Do it, and book thirty minutes alone straight after.
You can act out of character for work you love: the shy can speak, sell or lead. It costs energy, so plan quiet niches in which to recover.
Stop Overthinking
Single Model
Nick Trenton
Not started
Have a one-minute way to pull my attention out of a spiral and back into the room.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Trenton describes a grounding exercise that therapists commonly teach for anxiety. When your thoughts are racing about the past or the future, you bring your attention back to the present through the five senses, counting down. Look around, and name five things that you can see. Notice four things that you can feel or touch, such as the chair under you, or the cloth of your sleeve. Listen for three things that you can hear. Find two things that you can smell. Notice one thing that you can taste. Go slowly, and really attend to each item. The exercise works by competition. Attention is limited, and a mind that is busy collecting what the senses are reporting has less room for the worry. It also reminds the body that, in this room and at this moment, nothing is actually happening. It needs no equipment, and nobody can see you doing it. Likely to trip me up: rushing through it as a box to tick, while still thinking about the worry. Note: Trenton's book is a compilation from a small publisher, and this technique is not his own. It is widely used in clinical practice, and has had little direct testing. It is a first-aid measure for the moment, and not a treatment for an anxiety disorder. (Source: Stop Overthinking, Ch. 2.)
The Window of Tolerance (Try Softer, Aundi Kolber): grounding is how you get back inside the window. Top-Down and Bottom-Up Regulation (The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk): this one goes by way of the senses.
Mindset & Emotions
5-4-3-2-1 Grounding
Ch. 2, The De-stress Formula and Then Some. Chapter titles confirmed from a university library catalogue. The placement of the technique within the book is from memory. Page not verified (PKCS Media, 2021).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Meditate / mindfulness
12; 15; 21
Plan: I will practise the count once a day while I am calm, so that it is familiar. When I notice a spiral or a rush of panic, I will run it slowly, saying each item in my head. I will rate how intense the feeling is before and after, for three weeks.
grounding, five senses, 5-4-3-2-1, anxiety, panic, racing thoughts, present moment, attention, spiral, mindfulness, first aid, calm, sensory, overthinking, noticing, discreet, quick technique, body, here and now, rumination
Your thoughts race ahead to a disaster that has not happened. Your heart is pounding in a room where nothing at all is going on. You cannot think your way out of it.
Try it now, slowly: five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste. Notice how your body feels afterwards.
When your mind races, name five things you see, four you can touch, three you hear, two you smell and one you taste. It brings you back.
Stop Overthinking
Single Model
Nick Trenton
Not started
Stop circling round a stressor, and pick one of four definite moves.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Trenton presents a framework that is widely used in stress management. For any source of stress, there are four possible responses. Avoid: some stress is unnecessary, and can simply be removed. You can say no, take a different route, leave the group chat, or spend less time with the person who drains you. Alter: if you cannot avoid it, change the situation. Ask for what you need, say how you feel, negotiate, or manage your time differently. Accept: if it cannot be avoided or altered, stop fighting the fact. Talk it through, forgive, and look for what it can teach you. Adapt: change yourself to suit it. Lower an unrealistic standard, reframe the problem, or ask how much it will matter in a year. His point is that overthinking often comes from never choosing. We half try to change a thing, half resent it and half put up with it, all at once. Naming the move turns the worry into a decision. Likely to trip me up: 'accepting' things that I could in fact alter, so as to avoid a hard conversation. Note: Trenton's book is a compilation from a small publisher with light sourcing, and this framework is not his own. It is a practical way of sorting, and not a tested treatment. It agrees with research showing that how we cope should match how much control we have. (Source: Stop Overthinking, Ch. 2.)
Leave, Change or Accept (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): three of the same four moves. Gravity Problems (Designing Your Life, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans): recognise what cannot be acted on, and accept it.
Mindset & Emotions
The Four A's of Stress
Ch. 2, The De-stress Formula and Then Some. Chapter titles confirmed from a university library catalogue. The placement of the technique within the book is from memory. Page not verified (PKCS Media, 2021).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Be more productive / organised
12; 15; 13
Plan: Each Sunday I will list my three biggest current stressors. For each one I will write which of the four moves fits: avoid, alter, accept or adapt. I will then write one concrete action for that move, and review the following week what changed.
four a's, avoid, alter, accept, adapt, stress management, coping, stressors, decision, control, saying no, boundaries, reframing, standards, overthinking, circling, problem solving, weekly review, acceptance, action
The same stressor goes round in your head for weeks. You complain about it, put up with it and half try to change it, all at the same time, and you never settle on one approach.
Write down your biggest current stressor. Beside it, circle one word: avoid, alter, accept or adapt. Write the first action that goes with that word.
For any source of stress you have four moves: avoid it, alter it, accept it, or adapt to it. Naming the right one ends the circling.
Stop Overthinking
Single Model
Nick Trenton
Not started
When an emotion is pushing me in an unhelpful direction, act against the push and not with it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Trenton borrows a skill from a well-established form of therapy that was developed for people with very intense emotions. Every emotion arrives with an urge to act. Fear says avoid. Anger says attack. Sadness says withdraw and stay in bed. Shame says hide. When the emotion fits the facts, and the danger is real, the urge is useful. Often it does not fit, and acting on the urge feeds the emotion. Avoiding the thing makes it more frightening. Staying in bed deepens the low mood. The skill has three steps. Name the emotion, and the urge that comes with it. Ask honestly if the emotion fits the facts, and if acting on it would help you. If the answer is no, do the opposite of the urge, and do it fully, with your posture and your voice as well as your actions. Approach what you fear. Be gentle with the person you are angry with, or step away for a while. Get up and become active when you are sad. Tell someone you trust about the thing you are ashamed of. Likely to trip me up: doing it half-heartedly, through gritted teeth, which does not work. Note: Trenton's book is a compilation, and this skill is not his own. The therapy it comes from is well supported by trials. Do not use it against fear of a real danger, or to override a feeling which is telling you that something truly is wrong. (Source: Stop Overthinking, Ch. 6.)
Action Comes Before Motivation (Feeling Good, David D. Burns): move first, and the mood follows. The Confidence Gap (The Confidence Gap, Russ Harris): act while the fear is still there.
Mindset & Emotions
Opposite Action
Ch. 6, Newfound Attitudes and Emotional Regulation. Chapter titles confirmed from a university library catalogue. The placement of the technique within the book is from memory. Page not verified (PKCS Media, 2021).
Manage stress / anxiety; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 27; 04
Plan: When a strong emotion comes, I will name it and name the urge that comes with it. I will ask if the emotion fits the facts. If it does not, I will do the opposite of the urge, fully and for at least ten minutes. When anxious and wanting to avoid, I will approach. When low and wanting to withdraw, I will get up and contact someone. I will log what happens.
opposite action, emotion regulation, urges, fear, avoidance, anger, sadness, withdrawal, shame, fits the facts, approach, behaviour first, mood, therapy skill, act opposite, low mood, hiding, impulses, feelings, change the emotion
When you are anxious you avoid, when you are low you stay in bed, and when you are ashamed you hide. Each of these feels like relief. Each makes the feeling stronger the next day.
Name the emotion you are feeling now, and the urge that comes with it. Ask: does this fit the facts? If it does not, do the opposite of the urge for ten minutes.
Every emotion comes with an urge. When the emotion does not fit the facts, do the opposite of the urge, fully, and the emotion shifts.
Stop Overthinking
Single Model
Nick Trenton
Not started
Keep worry inside one short daily appointment, so that it stops leaking into the rest of my day and my night.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Trenton describes a technique that comes from the treatment of chronic worry. You do not try to stop worrying, which tends to backfire. You postpone it. Choose a fixed time and place each day, and set a limit of perhaps fifteen or twenty minutes. When a worry arrives at any other time, note it down briefly, tell yourself that you will deal with it in the slot, and go back to what you were doing. When the slot comes, go through the list. Many of the items will already have lost their charge, or settled themselves. For the ones that remain, decide if there is an action you can take. If there is, plan it. If there is not, let yourself worry freely until the time is up, and then stop. The technique works for several reasons. It replaces 'do not think about it', which is impossible, with 'not now', which the mind will accept. It breaks the link between worry and every place and hour of the day, bed included. And it shows you, day after day, that worries can wait, and that most of them fade. Likely to trip me up: skipping the slot, which teaches my mind that 'later' means 'never'. Note: Trenton's book is a compilation, and this technique is not his own. It has been tested in published trials, which found moderate reductions in worry. (Source: Stop Overthinking, Ch. 4.)
A Plan Quiets the Nag (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): a worry that has an appointment stops interrupting. Postpone, Do Not Deny (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): 'later' works where 'never' fails.
Habits & Behavior Change
Worry Postponement
Ch. 4, How to Find Instant Zen. Chapter titles confirmed from a university library catalogue. The placement of the technique within the book is from memory. Page not verified (PKCS Media, 2021).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Sleep better; Manage stress / anxiety
15; 05; 12
Plan: I will set a fifteen-minute worry slot at the same time each day, well before bedtime. Whenever a worry turns up outside it, I will write it down in a few words and tell myself that it is booked for later. In the slot I will go through the list, and sort each item into 'I can act on this' or 'I cannot'. I will keep this up for three weeks.
worry postponement, worry time, scheduled worry, rumination, bedtime, insomnia, not now, list, anxiety, stimulus control, fifteen minutes, appointment, intrusive thoughts, overthinking, sorting worries, actionable, letting go, daily slot, night-time, delay
Worries turn up at all hours: at your desk, at dinner, and at three in the morning. You try to push them away, and they come back stronger.
Pick a fifteen-minute worry slot for tomorrow, well before bedtime. Today, when a worry comes, write it down in five words and say: 'You are booked for tomorrow.'
Do not fight a worry. Give it an appointment: a fixed daily slot. When it comes up early, note it and tell it to wait. Most do not survive.
Stop Overthinking
Single Model
Nick Trenton
Not started
Learn to release the tension in my body on purpose, above all at bedtime.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Trenton includes a relaxation method that was developed by an American physician about a century ago. It rests on a simple observation. A mind that is anxious goes with a body that is tense, and many of us carry that tension all day without being aware of it. The method teaches the body the difference. Working through the body in order, usually from the feet upwards, you deliberately tighten one group of muscles for a few seconds, and then let go and notice the feeling of release for rather longer. You go through the calves, thighs, stomach, hands, arms, shoulders, neck, jaw and face. After the contrast, the released muscle ends up more relaxed than it was before you began. With practice you learn to spot tension early, and to let it go without having to tighten first. It takes about ten to fifteen minutes, and it is often used at bedtime. Likely to trip me up: doing it once, feeling a bit foolish, and not repeating it for long enough to learn the skill. Note: Trenton's book is a compilation, and this method is not his own. It is one of the better-tested relaxation techniques, and reviews of trials have found that it helps with anxiety and with sleep. If you have an injury, leave out the painful areas. (Source: Stop Overthinking, Ch. 4.)
Slow Your Breath to Slow Your Body (Breath, James Nestor): another way of calming the mind through the body. Befriending the Body (The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk): first learn to notice what your body is holding.
Habits & Behavior Change
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Ch. 4, How to Find Instant Zen. Chapter titles confirmed from a university library catalogue. The placement of the technique within the book is from memory. Page not verified (PKCS Media, 2021).
Sleep better; Manage stress / anxiety; Meditate / mindfulness
05; 12; 21
Plan: Every night for three weeks, lying in bed, I will work from my feet up to my face. I will tense each muscle group for about five seconds, release it for about fifteen, and notice the difference. I will log how long it takes me to fall asleep, and how tense I feel in the morning.
progressive muscle relaxation, tension, release, relaxation, bedtime, sleep, anxiety, body scan, muscles, jaw, shoulders, insomnia, stress, physical calm, tense and release, ten minutes, body awareness, wind down, evidence-based, routine
You lie in bed with your jaw clenched and your shoulders up near your ears, and you do not even notice. You tell yourself to relax. Nothing happens.
Tonight in bed, start with your feet. Tense them for five seconds, let go for fifteen, and notice the difference. Work upwards as far as your face.
Tense each muscle group for a few seconds, then let go, from feet to face. The body learns the difference, and a loose body quiets the mind.
Chatter
Single Model
Ethan Kross
Not started
Get some distance from a spiralling thought by changing one word in how I talk to myself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kross, a psychologist who runs a laboratory on self-control, studied what happens when people talk to themselves using their own name, or 'you', in place of 'I'. He began after catching himself doing it during a frightening episode in his own life. He reports that well-known people do the same under pressure, and gives the example of a basketball star explaining a career decision by referring to himself by name. In his experiments, people were given a few minutes to prepare a speech before judges. Those told to think it through using their own name felt less anxious and less ashamed afterwards, and were rated as performing better, than those who used 'I'. They also tended to see the task as a challenge, where the others saw a threat. Brain recordings suggested that the switch takes effect within about a second and needs little effort. His explanation is that we advise other people far better than ourselves, and that using your name puts you in the adviser's seat. Likely to trip me up: it feels odd, so I will forget it in the moment. Note: Kross is a leading researcher in this area, and most of these studies come from his own laboratory. The effects are real and modest. (Source: Chatter, Ch. 4.)
Your Inner Roommate (The Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer): another way of stepping outside the voice. Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping (12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson): talk to yourself as you would to someone in your care.
Mindset & Emotions
Distanced Self-Talk
Ch. 4, When I Become You. Page not verified (Crown, 2021).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
15; 12; 27
Plan: When I catch myself spiralling before a task or after a mistake, I will switch from 'I' to my own name and 'you', silently or on paper: '[Name], what are you going to do next?' I will rate how wound up I am before and after, for three weeks.
distanced self-talk, inner voice, use your name, second person, chatter, rumination, anxiety, self-coaching, perspective, public speaking, pressure, challenge not threat, self-distancing, quick tool, spiralling, stress, inner critic, adviser, language, calm
Before a talk, or after a mistake, the voice in your head goes round in circles: 'I am going to fail, I always do this.' You are too close to it to think.
Next time you spiral, address yourself silently by name: '[Your name], you have done this before. What is the next step?' Notice the change in tone.
When your inner voice spirals, talk to yourself by name, as 'you'. It gives the distance you have with a friend, and works within seconds.
Stillness Is the Key
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Cut down what reaches me, so that my mind has room for the few things that matter.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday opens with a French emperor who, it is said, told his secretary to wait three weeks before opening any letters. By the time he came to read them, most of the 'urgent' matters had settled themselves and needed no reply. Holiday's point is that there is far too much information coming at us, that nearly all of it is trivial, and that taking it in has a cost: it crowds out the attention we need in order to think deeply about the things that matter. He quotes an ancient Stoic teacher, who said that if you wish to improve, you should be content to appear clueless or stupid in matters that do not concern you. He also quotes an emperor-philosopher who advised asking at every moment, 'Is this necessary?' Holiday's advice is to build filters. Let other people screen for you where that is possible, switch off the alerts, and accept that you will sometimes be the last to hear about something. Likely to trip me up: the fear of missing out, and the idea that a good citizen has to follow everything. Note: Holiday popularises Stoic ideas, and argues from chosen historical stories, some of which are better documented than others. It is not research, though studies of interruption and of information overload point in the same direction. (Source: Stillness Is the Key, Part I.)
Reading Deprivation (The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron): a week with no input at all. The Digital Declutter (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): a thirty-day reset of what you allow in.
Productivity & Focus
Limit Your Inputs
Part I, Mind, chapter 'Limit Your Inputs'. Starts on p. 30 (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019, from a library contents listing).
Cut phone / social-media use; Limit multitasking / context-switching; Stop overthinking / rumination
06; 28; 15
Plan: I will list every stream that pushes information at me: news apps, group chats, newsletters, feeds, alerts. I will switch off or leave half of them for thirty days, and check the rest at two fixed times a day. At the end I will note what I truly missed, and restore only that.
limit inputs, information overload, news, notifications, filters, is this necessary, attention, trivia, newsletters, group chats, fear of missing out, stoic, mental clarity, breaking news, email, focus, deep thinking, unsubscribe, noise, last to know
You follow every headline, chat and alert so as to stay informed. By mid-morning your head is full of other people's emergencies, and there is no room left for your own work.
Count the streams that push information at you. Switch off three of them today. For each one, ask: if I never saw this again, what would I actually lose?
Most of what reaches you is not worth knowing, and much of it settles itself if you wait. Cut the flow so there is room left to think.
The Energy Codes
Single Model
Sue Morter
Not started
Have a simple breathing practice that gives my attention something physical to follow.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Morter's core exercise is a way of breathing while moving your attention along the midline of the body. You imagine the breath entering above the head and travelling down through the centre of the head, the throat, the heart and the belly to the base of the spine, and then back up again on the following breath. At several points along the way you gently tighten the muscles in that area, to help the attention stay in the body and not drift off into thought. She teaches it seated, and also while walking outdoors. In plain terms, it is slow breathing combined with a moving body scan. Both of those have reasonable research support for calming the body and steadying attention. Likely to trip me up: getting drawn into the book's large claims, and either believing them or throwing out the exercise along with them. Note: this book needs a strong warning. Morter is a chiropractor who works in energy medicine. The book explains the exercise in terms of energy fields, chakras and quantum physics, none of which has scientific support, and a trade review called its healing claims dubious, including a story of severed fingers growing back. I have kept only the breathing exercise. It is not a treatment for any illness. (Source: The Energy Codes, The Anchoring Code.)
Slow Your Breath to Slow Your Body (Breath, James Nestor): the part of this that has evidence behind it. Anchor in the Inner Body (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): attention placed in the body as a way out of thought.
Mindset & Emotions
Central Channel Breathing
Part II, The Anchoring Code, where the practice is first taught. A summary confirms that it is used throughout the book, including on walks in nature. Chapter number not verified. Page not verified (Atria Books, 2019).
Meditate / mindfulness; Manage stress / anxiety
21; 12
Plan: For two weeks I will do five minutes a day. I will breathe in slowly while moving my attention from the top of my head down through the centre of my chest and belly, and breathe out while continuing down to the base of my spine. On the next breath I will travel back up. I will note how settled I feel before and after.
breathing, body scan, midline, attention, slow breath, grounding, embodiment, meditation, calm, muscle engagement, walking practice, anchoring, mind wandering, relaxation, energy medicine, caveat, pseudoscience, simple practice, five minutes, focus
You try to meditate by watching your breath, and within ten seconds you are planning dinner. Your attention has nothing concrete to hold on to.
Sit for three minutes. Breathe in slowly while you move your attention from your head down to your belly. Breathe out as you go on to the base of your spine. Then come back up.
Breathe slowly while moving your attention up and down the midline of your body. It brings the mind out of its stories and into the body.
Finish
Single Model
Jon Acuff
Not started
Set goals at a size that I will actually finish.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Acuff says that at the start of a goal perfectionism makes us aim too high, and that this is as damaging as quitting is later on. Psychologists call the underlying error the planning fallacy: people reliably underestimate how long things will take, and overestimate what they will manage to do. So we set the goal at ten kilos, fall short at six, and count the whole thing as a failure, although six would have been a triumph had we aimed at five. His advice is blunt. Cut the goal in half, or, if the target cannot be reduced, double the time you allow. He reports that when the people on his online course were asked to do this, they did considerably better than they had on previous attempts, and that most of them said they felt more willing to go on working at the goal. He argues that a smaller goal which you finish builds the momentum for the next one, and that an abandoned big goal teaches you that you are someone who does not finish. Likely to trip me up: halving a goal feels like lowering my standards. Note: the figures come from a researcher's analysis of people on Acuff's own course, and they have not been published as research. The planning fallacy itself is well established. (Source: Finish, Ch. 2.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the starting size very small. Stretch Goals: 70 Percent Is Success (Measure What Matters, John Doerr): the opposite approach, which suits teams better than personal habits.
Productivity & Focus
Cut Your Goal in Half
Ch. 2, Cut Your Goal in Half. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2017).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised
27; 07; 13
Plan: I will take my current goal and either halve the target or double the deadline, and write down the new version. I will work to that, and at the end I will compare what I got done with what happened on my last three full-size goals.
cut goal in half, planning fallacy, goal size, overambition, deadlines, double the time, finishing, realistic goals, momentum, perfectionism, underestimating, resolutions, small wins, completion, lowering the bar, targets, motivation, right-sizing, quitting, progress
You plan to write a book in three months, or to lose ten kilos by the summer. At the halfway point you are well behind, you feel like a failure, and you give up.
Take the goal you are working on. Halve the target, or double the deadline. Write down the new version, and work to that.
We set goals too big and quit when we fall short. Halve the goal or double the time. A smaller goal you finish beats a big one you drop.
Stillness Is the Key
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Look deliberately for something beautiful every day, above all on the bad days.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday begins with a teenage girl who was hiding from persecution in a sealed attic for two years. She wrote in her diary that the best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere they can be quite alone with the sky and with nature. From her one window she looked at a chestnut tree and a patch of sky. She wrote that as long as these existed, she could not be wholly sad. Holiday's argument is that beauty is not a luxury. It is a source of stillness that is available to everyone, everywhere, and at no cost. He describes the Japanese practice of forest bathing, which means spending slow and attentive time among trees. He points out that beauty can be found in ordinary things: rain on a roof, a well-made tool, an old building, a child asleep. It takes a moment of attention to see it, and that moment is itself the quiet that we are looking for. Likely to trip me up: hurrying past it, or photographing it without ever really looking. Note: Holiday argues from chosen stories, and it is not research. There are separate studies of time spent in forests which report lower stress, though many of them are small. (Source: Stillness Is the Key, Part II.)
Glimmers (Anchored, Deb Dana): the same habit, under a different name. The Eight Wonders of Life (Awe, Dacher Keltner): nature and visual design are two of the eight.
Mindset & Emotions
Bathe in Beauty
Part II, Spirit, chapter 'Bathe in Beauty'. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Spend more time outdoors; Meditate / mindfulness; Improve mental health / be happier
18; 21; 04
Plan: Once a day I will stop for two minutes and give my whole attention to one beautiful thing within reach: the sky, a tree, light on a wall, a piece of music. Once a week I will spend an hour somewhere green with no purpose. Each evening I will write a line about what I saw that day.
beauty, nature, forest bathing, sky, trees, attention, stillness, noticing, wonder, outdoors, ordinary beauty, diary, consolation, hard times, calm, daily practice, light, looking up, presence, free
You go from screen to screen and from task to task. Days pass in which you never look up. You feel worn out, and you suppose that rest means more scrolling.
Stop for two minutes today and give your full attention to one beautiful thing near you: the sky, a tree, light on a wall. Just look at it.
Look for beauty on purpose: a tree, the sky, light on a wall. It costs nothing, it is always there, and it quiets the mind.
Chatter
Single Model
Ethan Kross
Not started
Give, and look for, the kind of support that actually helps: comfort first, and then a wider view.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kross reports research that followed students after shootings at two American universities. Many of them talked a great deal about their feelings with other people, and felt that it helped. Those who shared the most did not recover any better than the rest. He explains why. When we are upset we have two needs. The first is emotional: to feel heard and cared for. The second is cognitive: to make sense of what happened and work out what to do. Most conversations meet only the first. The friend asks what happened and how it felt, we tell the story again, and both of us get stirred up. Researchers call this co-rumination. It feels like closeness, and it keeps the wound open. The most helpful people do both things, in order. They acknowledge the feeling first, and then, once the person is ready, gently help them to step back, see the wider picture and think about what to do next. He adds that some of the best help is invisible, such as quietly taking a chore off someone's hands. Likely to trip me up: jumping straight to solutions, or never getting there at all. Note: Kross is a leading researcher, and this chapter gathers other people's studies as well as his own. (Source: Chatter, Ch. 5.)
Venting Does Not Cool Anger (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): going over it keeps the heat up. The Matching Principle (Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg): find out first if they want to be helped, hugged or heard.
People & Communication
Comfort First, Then Perspective
Ch. 5, The Power and Peril of Other People. Page not verified (Crown, 2021).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Stop overthinking / rumination
25; 14; 15
Plan: When someone brings me a problem, I will listen and acknowledge the feeling first, without trying to fix anything. Once they have settled, I will ask questions that widen the view: what would you tell a friend, and how might this look in a year? When I need support myself, I will pick people who do both.
venting, co-rumination, support, listening, empathy, perspective, friends, advice, emotional needs, cognitive needs, reframing, comfort, problem solving, invisible support, sharing feelings, conversations, helping others, bonding, rehashing, next step
A friend is upset, and the two of you go over what happened for two hours. You both feel close. The next day they are just as upset, and so are you.
Next time someone vents to you, acknowledge the feeling first. When they have settled, ask: 'If a friend were in this spot, what would you tell them?'
Venting feels good and changes nothing. Good support meets the feelings first, then helps the person see the wider picture and a next step.
Try Softer
Single Model
Aundi Kolber
Not started
Know when I have gone outside the zone where I can think, and get back inside it before I speak or decide.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kolber teaches a model that is widely used by therapists, and which comes from a well-known American psychiatrist. Each of us has a window of tolerance: a range of arousal within which we can feel our emotions and still think clearly, stay in touch with other people and make choices. When stress pushes us above the window, we are flooded: anxious, angry, racing and reactive. When it pushes us below, we shut down: flat, numb, foggy and far away. Neither state is a failure of character. They are the body's survival responses. She explains that hard early experiences and long-term stress make the window narrower, so that small things tip us out of it. The work has two parts. In the moment, notice that you are near an edge, and use simple grounding through the senses and the breath to come back. Over time, the window can be widened by safe relationships, rest, and practising being with feelings in small doses. Likely to trip me up: trying to settle an argument, or make a decision, while I am outside the window. Note: Kolber writes as a Christian and as a therapist. The window is a teaching model that clinicians find useful, and it is not a measured quantity. (Source: Try Softer, Ch. 4.)
Sunny, Stormy, Foggy (Anchored, Deb Dana): the same three zones, with different names. Top-Down and Bottom-Up Regulation (The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk): two ways of getting back into the window.
Mindset & Emotions
The Window of Tolerance
Part 1, Ch. 4, on finding your window of tolerance. The order of chapters is confirmed by a published review, and the chapter title is from memory. Page not verified (Tyndale House, 2020).
Manage stress / anxiety; Meditate / mindfulness; Improve relationships / communicate
12; 21; 25
Plan: I will write down my own signs of going over the top, such as a racing heart, snapping at people and the urge to argue, and my signs of dropping below, such as going blank, heavy and silent. When I spot either, I will use one grounding step before I go on: feel my feet on the floor, name five things I can see, or breathe out slowly.
window of tolerance, arousal, flooded, shut down, grounding, regulation, stress, hyperarousal, hypoarousal, numb, reactive, edges, five senses, arguments, overwhelm, nervous system, therapy model, widening, capacity, calm
In a tense conversation you either blow up or go blank. Afterwards you cannot understand why you said that, or why you said nothing at all.
Write down two signs that you are 'too high', and two signs that you are 'too low'. The next time you see one, press your feet into the floor and name five things you can see.
There is a zone in which you can feel and think at once. Above it you are flooded, below it numb. Notice the edges and come back first.
Try Softer
Single Model
Aundi Kolber
Not started
Stop meeting every difficulty by clenching harder, and begin to listen to what my strain is telling me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kolber is a therapist. She describes her own long habit of what she calls white-knuckling: getting through pain and stress by gripping harder, working more, ignoring her body and keeping a calm face. It was how she had survived a difficult childhood, and it had made her successful and exhausted. The turning point came when her own therapist asked her a question: what if, in place of trying harder, you tried softer? She explains that trying harder, in a body that is already overwhelmed, means overriding the very signals that are telling you something is wrong. It works for a while, and it ends in burnout, numbness or illness. Trying softer does not mean giving up or lowering your standards. It means paying compassionate attention to what you are feeling, respecting your real limits, and answering your own distress as you would a child's. From that steadier place you can still do hard things, and keep doing them. Likely to trip me up: I believe that my harshness is the reason I get anything done. Note: Kolber writes as a Christian, and the book has a faith framing throughout. It is a clinician's synthesis of other people's research, and it has not been tested as a programme. (Source: Try Softer, Ch. 1.)
Be Kind to Yourself (Discipline Is Destiny, Ryan Holiday): discipline without self-punishment. Manage the Load (Discipline Is Destiny, Ryan Holiday): respect the limit so that you can keep going.
Mindset & Emotions
Try Softer
Part 1, Ch. 1, There Must Be Another Way. The order of chapters is confirmed by a published review, and the chapter titles are from memory. Page not verified (Tyndale House, 2020).
Manage stress / anxiety; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 27; 04
Plan: When I notice that I am white-knuckling, with a tight jaw, held breath and the thought 'just push through', I will stop for one minute and ask what I need now: a break, some help, food, or a smaller next step. I will take that, and then carry on. I will keep a log of when it happens.
try softer, white-knuckling, pushing through, burnout, self-compassion, body signals, limits, overfunctioning, gentleness, stress, survival mode, numbness, exhaustion, perfectionism, overriding, rest, kindness, sustainable effort, listening, therapy
When life gets hard you grit your teeth, work longer and tell yourself to toughen up. It has always worked. Now you are exhausted and numb, and it has stopped working.
The next time you catch yourself gritting your teeth to get through, stop for one minute. Unclench your jaw, breathe out, and ask: 'What do I actually need right now?'
When overwhelmed, pushing harder overrides the signals that something is wrong. Meet yourself with attention and care. Respect the limit.
Chatter
Single Model
Ethan Kross
Not started
Use green space as a tool for refilling my attention when worry has used it up.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kross explains that managing the voice in your head takes attention, which is a limited resource, and that rumination drains exactly the supply you need to control it. He then reports research on a cheap way to refill it. In a large public housing estate in an American city, residents had been assigned more or less at random to flats that looked out on grass and trees, or to flats that looked out on concrete. Those with green views performed better on tests of attention, put off dealing with major life problems less, and found their difficulties more manageable. In another study, people who took a walk of under an hour in an arboretum improved on an attention test afterwards. Those who walked through busy streets did not. The explanation offered is that nature holds our attention softly and without effort, which lets the directed kind recover. He notes that photographs, videos and even recorded sounds of nature give a smaller version of the same benefit. Likely to trip me up: when I am wound up, a walk feels like a luxury I have not earned. Note: these are other researchers' studies. Attempts to repeat the attention findings have had mixed results. The wider evidence linking time in nature to better mood is stronger. (Source: Chatter, Ch. 6.)
The Awe Walk (Awe, Dacher Keltner): a walk taken with your attention turned outwards. Take a Walk (Stillness Is the Key, Ryan Holiday): the old philosophers' version of the same advice.
Productivity & Focus
Nature Restores Attention
Ch. 6, Outside In. Page not verified (Crown, 2021).
Spend more time outdoors; Beat procrastination / focus; Stop overthinking / rumination
18; 07; 15
Plan: On days when my head is noisy, I will take a twenty-minute walk among trees before I try to do focused work, with no phone in my hand. I will also set up my desk so that it faces a window or a plant. I will rate my focus and my rumination before and after the walks for a month.
nature, green space, attention restoration, trees, walk, rumination, focus, mental fatigue, window view, outdoors, arboretum, soft fascination, directed attention, parks, worry, cognitive resources, plants, nature sounds, recovery, city
After a morning of worrying you cannot concentrate on anything. You push on at your desk, or pick up your phone, and both of them drain you further.
The next time your head is noisy, spend twenty minutes among trees or in a park, with your phone in your pocket. Then go back to the task.
Worry drains the attention you need to control it. Time among trees and green refills it, gently and without effort. Even a view helps.
Stillness Is the Key
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Tell rest apart from running away, and deal with what I am running from.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday separates leisure, which restores you, from escapism, which is an attempt to get away from yourself. He tells of a gifted novelist whose early books failed. He spent much of the next few decades on golf, drink and amusements, and did not write, and he came to regret the lost years bitterly. Holiday's point is that the escape can be almost anything, including things that look respectable: constant travel, overwork, being busy, a drink every evening, hours of screens. The test is what it is for. If you are running from a feeling, a problem or a piece of work that you are afraid of, then it is still there when you come back, and usually larger. He quotes an old line: the traveller takes himself along wherever he goes. His advice is to build a life that you do not need to escape from, by facing the thing itself, and to keep the kinds of rest that leave you more present. Likely to trip me up: calling it 'self-care'. Note: Holiday argues from chosen stories, and it is not research. If drink, or any other escape, has become hard to control, that is a matter for medical help. (Source: Stillness Is the Key, Part III.)
You Cannot Numb Selectively (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): numbing the bad feelings dulls the good ones as well. Remove the Thorn (The Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer): arranging your life around avoiding something never ends.
Habits & Behavior Change
Beware Escapism
Part III, Body, chapter 'Beware Escapism'. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Drink less alcohol; Cut phone / social-media use; Improve mental health / be happier
11; 06; 04
Plan: For two weeks, each time I reach for my usual escape, such as a drink, a binge of episodes, a scroll or planning a trip, I will write down what I was feeling or avoiding just before. I will pick the thing that comes up most often, and take one direct step on it each week.
escapism, avoidance, drinking, binge watching, scrolling, travel, busyness, numbing, running from yourself, leisure versus escape, regret, facing it, coping, distraction, self-care excuse, presence, unfinished work, feelings, restoration, habits
Every evening you need something to take the edge off: a drink, a series, a scroll, another trip to plan. Whatever you are getting away from is still there in the morning.
The next time you reach for your usual escape, stop for one minute and finish this sentence on paper: 'Just now, I am trying not to feel or face ...'.
Travel, drink, screens and busyness can all be ways of running from yourself. You come back to the same life. Build one you need not flee.
Finish
Single Model
Jon Acuff
Not started
Catch the two respectable ways in which I avoid my main goal.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Acuff describes two tricks that perfectionism uses to stop us finishing while allowing us to feel good about ourselves. A hiding place is an activity you give your attention to in place of your goal. It is usually something easier, at which you are already good, and which gives quick rewards: clearing your email, tidying, helping a colleague, polishing a side project. It feels productive, and that is why it works so well as cover. A noble obstacle is a reason for not working on the goal which sounds virtuous. One kind begins with 'until': I cannot start the book until I have organised my whole office. Another begins with 'if': if I get fit, I shall become vain, or if my business grows, I shall neglect my family. Both kinds add conditions that make the goal harder than it has to be. His tests are simple. Ask what you find yourself doing when you ought to be working on the goal. Ask if the thing really has to be this complicated. And ask a friend, since other people can see our hiding places long before we can. Likely to trip me up: my hiding places look like diligence. Note: Acuff is an author and speaker, and this is practical observation and not research. (Source: Finish, Ch. 5.)
Resistance (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): the force behind every clever form of avoidance. The Nothing Alternative (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): take the hiding places away for an hour.
Biases & Blind Spots
Hiding Places and Noble Obstacles
Ch. 5, Leave Your Hiding Places and Ignore Noble Obstacles. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2017).
Beat procrastination / focus; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised
07; 27; 13
Plan: For two weeks, whenever I am not working on my goal during the time I have set aside for it, I will write down what I am doing in its place. I will also list every 'I cannot start until ...' that I have been telling myself. Each week I will pick the most common hiding place and the most common 'until', and remove them.
hiding places, noble obstacles, productive procrastination, avoidance, excuses, until, conditions, email, tidying, side projects, busywork, perfectionism, self-deception, finishing, complicating, prerequisites, ask a friend, fear of success, cover, focus
You cannot begin the channel until you have learned editing properly, bought better equipment and redesigned the logo. In the meantime your inbox is spotless.
Finish these two sentences: 'When I should be working on my goal, I tend to ...' and 'I cannot start until ...'. Then ask a friend if those are real reasons.
We dodge a goal by hiding in easier work, or by inventing a worthy-sounding reason not to start yet. Name both, and they lose force.
Finish
Single Model
Jon Acuff
Not started
Get through the day after I first break a streak, which is where my goals usually die.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Acuff spent years wondering why he, and the people who read him, could start things and never finish them. He had assumed that the trouble was laziness. After running an online course on goals for thousands of people, and having a university researcher analyse the results, he concluded that the real enemy is perfectionism. It strikes at a particular moment. Most people do not quit on the first day, when their motivation is high. They quit on the day after perfect: the first day on which they miss the workout, eat the cake or skip the writing, so that the record is no longer spotless. Perfectionism then makes its case. It says that if it cannot be perfect, there is no point. Acuff says that what separates the people who finish from those who only start is the ability to tolerate imperfection. Finishers keep going on the day after perfect, with a record that already has a hole in it. Likely to trip me up: keeping a streak counter, which makes a single miss feel like the end. Note: Acuff is an author and speaker, and his evidence comes from people who signed up for his own course. It has not been published as research. The pattern matches what studies of dieting have found. (Source: Finish, Ch. 1.)
The What-the-Hell Effect (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): one slip gets turned into a collapse. A Minimum of About 21 Days (Psycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz): research finds that one missed day barely matters.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Day After Perfect
Ch. 1, The Day After Perfect. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2017).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Exercise / move daily; Lose weight
27; 01; 08
Plan: For my current goal I will decide in advance what I will do on the day after my first miss: a shorter version that I can do whatever happens. I will write it on a card. I will also track my overall completion as a percentage, and not as an unbroken streak.
day after perfect, perfectionism, quitting, streaks, first miss, all or nothing, finishing, imperfection, goals, resolutions, broken streak, persistence, restart, tolerance for imperfection, chronic starter, consistency, completion rate, shame, carry on, habit tracking
You keep your new habit for nine days in a row. On the tenth day you miss. On the eleventh the perfect record is gone, so you see no point, and that is where it ends.
Decide now what you will do on the day after your first miss: a version small enough that you can do it whatever happens. Write it down, and keep it where you will see it.
Most goals die on the day after the first miss, when the streak is broken and perfect is gone. That day decides it. Carry on imperfectly.
Chatter
Single Model
Ethan Kross
Not started
Have a short, fixed routine to run before stressful events, so that my mind has something orderly to hold on to.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kross looks at why so many top performers carry out elaborate rituals. A famous tennis champion arranges his bottles just so, and follows the same sequence of small actions before every serve. He says that it does nothing for his tennis, and that it puts his head in order. Kross explains the research. When we feel that we are losing control on the inside, we try to create order on the outside, and doing so helps. A ritual is a fixed sequence of actions with a meaning attached to it. It gives a sense of order, takes up attention that would otherwise feed the worry, and often connects us with something larger than ourselves. In experiments, people who carried out a ritual before an anxious task, such as singing in front of strangers, felt calmer and performed better. People who performed a ritual after a loss grieved less. He adds that tidying your surroundings works in a similar way, and that the mind's expectations are strong enough for a placebo to bring relief even when people know that it is a placebo. Likely to trip me up: letting the routine grow until it becomes a way of putting the task off. Note: these are other researchers' experiments, and several of them are small. A ritual helps with nerves. It does not help with skill. (Source: Chatter, Ch. 7.)
Shutdown Ritual (Deep Work, Cal Newport): a fixed sequence that tells the mind it can let go. Context, Choice, Connection (Anchored, Deb Dana): a sense of control is one of the things the body needs.
Habits & Behavior Change
Rituals Quiet the Mind
Ch. 7, Mind Magic (rituals and placebos). The related point about putting your surroundings in order is in Ch. 6, Outside In. Page not verified (Crown, 2021).
Manage stress / anxiety; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Stop overthinking / rumination
12; 27; 15
Plan: I will design a two-minute routine of fixed steps to use before recording, presenting or a hard conversation: clear the desk, three slow breaths, write one line saying what this is for, stand up. I will use it every time for a month, and rate my nerves before and after it.
rituals, routine, pre-performance, control, order, anxiety, nerves, tennis, superstition, placebo, expectations, tidying, grief, focus, stress, fixed sequence, preparation, compensatory control, calm, performance
Before anything important, your mind races and you feel that the situation is out of your hands. You pace about, check your phone, and start the thing already rattled.
Write a four-step routine that takes two minutes, to run before your next stressful task. Keep the steps simple and physical. Use it every time.
A fixed sequence of actions before or after a stressful event gives back a sense of order and control, and pulls attention off the worry.
Finish
Single Model
Jon Acuff
Not started
Bring the unwritten rules that make my goals miserable into the open, and replace them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Acuff says that perfectionism runs on rules which we have never said aloud, and did not knowingly choose. He gives examples. If something comes easily, or is fun, it does not count. Success will make me a bad person. Asking for help is cheating. If I am not miserable, I am not working hard enough. Real runners run in the mornings. The rules feel like facts, and they quietly turn a goal that could be done into a punishment, which we then give up. He offers some questions for bringing them to the surface. Do I even like this way of doing it? What is my real goal? And when a rule does appear, ask what it actually means, and who says so. The answer is usually nobody, or else someone from long ago whose opinion ought not to be running your life. Then write a new rule to replace the old one, one that makes finishing easier and more enjoyable. He reports that the people on his course who had made their goals fun were far more likely to complete them. Likely to trip me up: the rules present themselves as integrity. Note: Acuff is an author and speaker, and his figures come from his own course and have not been published as research. (Source: Finish, Ch. 6.)
Dehypnotize Yourself (Psycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz): a belief that has not been examined acts like a spell. Healthy Striving, Not Perfectionism (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): the difference between working for yourself and working for approval.
Biases & Blind Spots
Secret Rules
Ch. 6, Get Rid of Your Secret Rules. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2017).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Beat procrastination / focus
27; 04; 07
Plan: For the goal I keep abandoning, I will write down every rule I seem to be obeying, such as 'it only counts if it is hard' or 'I must do it alone'. For each rule I will ask who says so, and what it actually means, and then write a replacement rule that would make finishing more likely. I will go back to the list once a month.
secret rules, hidden rules, perfectionism, it only counts if it is hard, who says, assumptions, fun, shortcuts, help, guilt, self-imposed, unwritten rules, finishing, enjoyment, beliefs, replace the rule, integrity disguise, misery, goals, permission
You refuse to use a template, a coach or the enjoyable form of exercise, since it would 'not really count'. So you do it the hard way, hate it, and give up.
Finish this sentence three times about your goal: 'It only counts if ...'. For each answer, ask, 'Who says?' Cross out any rule that nobody ever gave you.
Perfectionism runs on hidden rules, such as 'if it is easy it does not count'. Write yours down, ask who says so, and replace them.
Finish
Single Model
Jon Acuff
Not started
Decide on purpose what I will do badly this season, so that my goal has room.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Acuff points out that a new goal takes time, and that the time has to come from somewhere. Perfectionism refuses to accept this. It insists that you can add the goal and keep doing everything else as well as before. He says there are only two real choices. You can attempt more than is humanly possible and fail at it. Or you can choose what to bomb, and succeed at the goal that matters. To bomb something is to decide, in advance and on purpose, that you will be bad at it for a season. His own examples are small and honest ones: keeping up with television, a neat lawn, answering every email, being on the newest social app. What matters is the deciding. If you choose it, there is a strategy and no shame. If you do not choose, the same things fall apart anyway, only this time you feel guilty, and the guilt wears away at the goal. Likely to trip me up: trying to bomb nothing, and ending up bombing the goal itself. Note: Acuff is an author and speaker, and this is practical advice and not research. It matches what is known about time being limited. (Source: Finish, Ch. 3.)
Trade-Offs (Which Problem Do I Want?) (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): every yes is paid for somewhere else. First Things First (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): deciding what not to do is the part that takes courage.
Decision-Making & Risk
Choose What to Bomb
Ch. 3, Choose What to Bomb. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2017).
Be more productive / organised; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Limit multitasking / context-switching
13; 27; 28
Plan: For the ninety days of my current goal I will write a 'bomb list' of three things that I will let slide without guilt, such as keeping up with series, having an empty inbox or a tidy balcony. I will tell the people who are affected. At the end I will review the list and choose again.
choose what to bomb, trade-offs, strategic neglect, time, priorities, guilt, season, saying no, overcommitment, perfectionism, let it slide, inbox, chores, focus, capacity, shame, deciding in advance, busy life, limits, goal room
You add a big new goal to a week that is already full, and you drop nothing. Within a month everything is suffering, you feel guilty about all of it, and the goal is the first thing to go.
Write down three things that you will deliberately do badly, or not at all, for the next ninety days. Tell anyone who is affected. Then let them slide.
You cannot add a goal to a full life without dropping something. Decide in advance what you will be bad at for now, and drop the shame.
Chatter
Single Model
Ethan Kross
Not started
Bring to my own problems the good sense I find so easily for other people's.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kross describes research on a pattern named after a king who was famous for his wise judgements of other people's disputes, and whose own life was a mess. In the studies, people were asked to reason about a partner's unfaithfulness. When they imagined it happening to a friend, they reasoned more wisely: they recognised the limits of what they knew, considered other points of view, and looked for a compromise. When they imagined it happening to themselves, much of that wisdom disappeared. The remedy is to create distance on purpose, which he calls zooming out. One method is to replay the event as a fly on the wall would see it, and not through your own eyes. People who did this ruminated less, and their bodies calmed more quickly. Another method is to travel in time, and ask how you will feel about this in ten years. A third is to write about the event for a few minutes as a story. Likely to trip me up: when I am upset, I want to go over it from the inside, again and again. Note: Kross is a leading researcher, and these findings come from his laboratory and those of close colleagues. They are fairly consistent, and the effects are moderate. (Source: Chatter, Ch. 3.)
Begin from the Third Story (Difficult Conversations, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen): describe it as an observer would. The Small Self (Awe, Dacher Keltner): another route to a sense of proportion.
Thinking & Reasoning
Solomon's Paradox
Ch. 3, Zooming Out. Page not verified (Crown, 2021).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety
15; 25; 12
Plan: For any problem I have been chewing on for more than a day, I will write it up as though it had happened to a friend, and then write the advice I would give them. For the emotional ones I will also ask how I will feel about it in ten years. I will act on the advice.
solomon's paradox, self-distancing, zoom out, fly on the wall, advice to a friend, wisdom, perspective, ten years from now, temporal distance, rumination, own problems, immersion, journaling, objectivity, relationships, decisions, clarity, third person, reasoning, step back
A friend's dilemma is obvious to you within five minutes. Your own, which looks much the same, has had you going in circles for weeks.
Take the problem you are stuck on. Write it as a message from a friend asking for your advice. Then write your reply to them, and read it back.
We reason wisely about other people's problems and badly about our own. Step back: picture a friend in your place, or yourself in ten years.
Try Softer
Single Model
Aundi Kolber
Not started
Stop fighting my inner critic, and find out what it is trying to protect me from.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kolber asks readers to look again at the harsh voice inside that calls them lazy, stupid or too much. As she describes it, the critic is not an enemy. It is a part of us that took shape early in life in order to keep us safe. If being perfect, quiet or useful was how a child avoided criticism, or won love, then an inner voice that enforces those rules was a form of protection. It has carried on doing its job ever since, long after the danger passed. That is why arguing with it, or trying to silence it, tends to make it louder. She suggests a different approach. Notice the voice, turn towards it with curiosity, ask what it is afraid would happen if it went quiet, and answer that fear with the compassion and reassurance that a caring adult would give. In time the critic does not need to shout in order to be heard. Likely to trip me up: I agree with the critic, and I take its tone for honesty. Note: Kolber writes as a Christian and as a therapist. This way of working with the inner 'parts' comes from a school of therapy with a growing body of evidence, which is still limited. It has not been tested in this form. I have written this row from memory of the chapter. (Source: Try Softer, Ch. 9.)
Your Inner Roommate (The Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer): you are the one who hears the voice. Invite Mara to Tea (Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach): greet the difficult visitor, and do not fight it.
Mindset & Emotions
The Critic Is a Protector
Part 2, Ch. 9, on trying softer with your internal critic. The order of chapters is confirmed by a published review, and the chapter title is from memory. Page not verified (Tyndale House, 2020).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop overthinking / rumination
27; 04; 15
Plan: When the critic starts, I will write down what it says, word for word. Underneath I will write what it seems to be afraid will happen. Then I will write a short reply to it, as a calm adult would speak to a frightened child. I will do this for the three loudest attacks each week.
inner critic, self-criticism, protector, parts, curiosity, compassion, harsh voice, childhood rules, perfectionism, shame, self-talk, fear, reassurance, fighting thoughts, kindness, inner child, safety, negative self-talk, acceptance, dialogue
A voice in your head attacks everything you do. You either believe it or shout back at it. Both of these keep the fight going all day long.
The next time your inner critic attacks, write down what it said. Then ask it: 'What are you afraid will happen?' Answer that fear as you would answer a child.
Your inner critic began as a way to keep you safe and acceptable. Fighting it makes it louder. Ask what it fears, and answer with kindness.
Stillness Is the Key
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Make a daily walk my regular way of clearing my head and working through problems.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday collects the great walkers. A Danish philosopher walked the streets of his city every day, and wrote to a relative that he walked himself each day into a state of well-being and away from every illness, and that he knew of no thought so heavy that one could not walk away from it. A German philosopher held that only ideas arrived at while walking have any value. An inventor worked out one of his most important ideas in a flash, while strolling through a city park. Holiday's explanation is that walking is a form of stillness in motion. The body is occupied with a repetitive and undemanding task, which frees the mind from its usual grip, so that thoughts can settle and connect. He says that it is not about fitness or about getting anywhere, and he advises putting the phone away, going slowly, and noticing what is around you. Likely to trip me up: filling the walk with a podcast, which is more input and not stillness. Note: Holiday argues from chosen historical stories, and it is not research. Separately, experiments have found that people come up with more ideas while walking than while sitting. (Source: Stillness Is the Key, Part III.)
The Awe Walk (Awe, Dacher Keltner): the same walk, with your attention turned outwards. Focused and Diffuse Modes (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): why answers tend to come once you stop pushing.
Habits & Behavior Change
Take a Walk
Part III, Body, chapter 'Take a Walk'. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Spend more time outdoors; Exercise / move daily; Stop overthinking / rumination
18; 01; 15
Plan: Every day for a month I will walk for thirty minutes outdoors, without headphones or calls. I will take with me one question that I am stuck on, and carry a small notebook. I will log the ideas that turn up, and my mood before and after.
walking, daily walk, thinking, stillness in motion, philosophers, ideas, problem solving, outdoors, no headphones, mood, creativity, routine, clear head, rumination, movement, solitude, notebook, slow pace, well-being, stuck
You are stuck on a problem, so you sit at the desk for longer and push harder. Or you are upset, and you sit still and stew in it. In both cases you stay put.
Take one question you are stuck on out for a thirty-minute walk. No headphones. Do not force it. Carry something to write on.
A daily walk is moving stillness. The body is busy, the mind is free, and the problems you could not solve at the desk loosen on the road.
Awe
Single Model
Dacher Keltner
Not started
Feed on other people's goodness as my main source of awe, and spend less time on their worst.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: when Keltner's team sorted people's stories of awe from around the world, the most common source turned out not to be nature or music. It was other people: their courage, their kindness, their strength and their capacity to overcome hardship. He calls this moral beauty. The stories are of a stranger who helps, a parent who endures, someone who stands up to injustice, a person facing death with grace. He describes the physical signs people report, which are tears, chills and a warm feeling in the chest. He also reports research showing that witnessing such acts makes people want to be better themselves, and more inclined to help others. Psychologists call this elevation. He writes about finding moral beauty inside a prison, among men who were working to repair the harm they had done. His point is that this kind of awe is available almost every day to anyone who looks for it, and that where we put our attention decides how much of it we get. Likely to trip me up: my feeds are tuned to outrage, which is the opposite diet. Note: Keltner is a leading researcher. The ranking comes from his team's collection of stories, and the research on elevation is fairly well supported. (Source: Awe, Ch. 4.)
Ignition (The Talent Code, Daniel Coyle): seeing what someone like you can do sets something off in you. Find the Bright Spots (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): study what is going right.
Mindset & Emotions
Moral Beauty
Section II, Ch. 4, Moral Beauty. Page not verified (Penguin Press, 2023).
Improve mental health / be happier; Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
04; 25; 14
Plan: Each week I will collect one example of moral beauty: someone's courage, kindness or quiet endurance, from my own life, from a book or from the news. I will write down what they did, and tell one person about it. Once a month I will tell someone directly what I admired in them.
moral beauty, kindness, courage, elevation, inspiration, admiration, goodness, role models, tears, chills, overcoming, outrage diet, news, everyday heroes, awe, character, generosity, gratitude to others, witness, hope
Your feeds show you the worst of people all day long, and you have come to believe that this is what people are like. You feel cynical and tired.
Think of one person whose courage or kindness has moved you. Write down exactly what they did. If they are alive, tell them this week.
The commonest source of awe is other people: their courage, kindness and strength in hardship. Look for it, and you want to do better.
Humor, Seriously
Single Model
Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas
Not started
Use a little well-judged lightness in serious settings, since I now have reason to think it will help me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors gather research on what laughter does. In the body, they say, shared laughter lowers the stress hormone cortisol and releases the chemicals linked with pleasure, bonding and pain relief, so that people who laugh together feel closer and cope better afterwards. They then report studies on how we judge others. People who used humour that fitted the situation were seen as more confident and more competent, and were more likely to be given higher status in a group. Even a joke that fell flat still signalled confidence, so long as it was not offensive. In one negotiation experiment, sellers who added a light line to their final offer obtained a better price. They also cite work showing that people in a good mood after watching something funny do better on creative problems. Likely to trip me up: fear that a light remark will make me look as if I am not taking the matter seriously. Note: the authors are business school teachers reporting other people's studies. Several of these are single laboratory experiments, and the accounts of body chemistry are simplified. The overall direction of the findings is consistent. (Source: Humor, Seriously, Ch. 2.)
The Happiness Advantage (The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor): a positive state comes before good performance. Communal Rhythms (The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk): doing something in unison bonds people.
People & Communication
Your Brain on Humor
Ch. 2, This Is Your Brain on Humor. Page not verified (Currency, 2021).
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety; Be more productive / organised
25; 12; 13
Plan: In each meeting, presentation or difficult conversation over the next month, I will include one light, true and harmless remark near the start. I will note the mood in the room afterwards, and how the rest of the conversation went compared with my usual all-serious approach.
laughter, stress hormones, trust, bonding, status, competence, confidence, negotiation, creativity, meetings, presentations, levity, rapport, first impressions, cortisol, workplace humour, persuasion, mood, resilience, connection
You keep every meeting and message strictly serious, since you believe that is how to be respected. The room stays tense, and people remember very little of what you said.
In your next meeting or message that matters, add one light, true and harmless line near the start. Watch what happens to the mood in the room.
Shared laughter lowers stress hormones and raises trust. Well-judged humour also makes you seem more competent and confident, not less.
Psycho-Cybernetics
Single Model
Maxwell Maltz
Not started
Find one belief about myself that I accepted without checking, and test it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Maltz describes what a stage hypnotist can do. A strong man is told he cannot lift a pencil from the table, and he strains and fails. A shy man is told he is a confident speaker, and he speaks fluently. Their muscles and knowledge have not changed. What has changed is what they believe to be true. Maltz's point is that we do not need a hypnotist for this. Ideas taken in uncritically from parents, teachers, friends or our own early failures have exactly the same effect, and we behave as if they were facts. He tells of people who 'knew' they could not do mathematics, or could never earn above a certain amount, and whose results moved once the belief was questioned. He gives special attention to feelings of inferiority. We feel inferior, he says, because we measure ourselves against someone else's standard. You are not inferior and you are not superior. You are simply you, and you are not in the competition. Likely to trip me up: the belief does not feel like a belief. It feels like knowing myself. Note: Maltz was a surgeon writing in 1960, and his evidence is case stories. The idea matches later findings that expectations shape performance. (Source: Psycho-Cybernetics, Ch. 4.)
The Trance of Unworthiness (Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach): another name for living under a false spell. Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday (12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson): stop measuring yourself by someone else's yardstick.
Biases & Blind Spots
Dehypnotize Yourself
Ch. 4, Dehypnotize Yourself from False Beliefs. Chapter titles are from the original 1960 text. Page not verified.
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Improve mental health / be happier
27; 26; 04
Plan: I will pick one 'I cannot' that I treat as a fact. I will write down where it came from, what evidence it rests on, and one small test that could prove it false. I will run the test three times before deciding anything.
false beliefs, hypnosis, limiting beliefs, inferiority, I cannot, suggestion, self-doubt, comparison, expectations, test the belief, childhood labels, bad at maths, ceiling, yardstick, evidence, self-talk, conditioning, not in the competition, questioning, facts versus beliefs
You 'know' that you are no good with numbers, cannot speak in public, or will never be fit. You have never tested it. Someone told you so once, or you failed once, and that settled it.
Write down one 'I cannot ...' that you treat as a fact. Underneath, answer three questions: who told me this, what is the evidence, and what small test could disprove it?
A false belief about yourself works like a hypnotist's suggestion: you cannot do what you are sure you cannot do. Find the belief. Test it.
Psycho-Cybernetics
Single Model
Maxwell Maltz
Not started
Drop the 21-day deadline, so that I do not quit a habit for failing a test it was never meant to pass.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: this is where the famous number comes from. In his preface, Maltz wrote that it usually takes a minimum of about 21 days to bring about any noticeable change in a mental image. His examples were a patient getting used to a new face after surgery, the feeling of a lost limb fading, and a new house beginning to feel like home. He was writing about getting used to something, and he said 'a minimum'. Over the following decades the sentence was repeated by one self-help author after another, until it had become 'it takes 21 days to form a habit'. When researchers at a London university actually measured it, asking 96 people to take up a new daily behaviour and tracking them for twelve weeks, they found that reaching automatic took 66 days on average. The range ran from 18 days to an estimated 254, depending on the person and the habit. Missing a single day made little difference. Likely to trip me up: judging myself at day 21, finding it still hard, and concluding that I have failed. Note: I have included this row to show the origin of a myth, not to endorse it. The 66-day figure is an average from a single study, and is not a rule either. (Source: Psycho-Cybernetics, Preface.)
The Eight-Glasses Myth (The Body, Bill Bryson): another famous number with a weak source. Test the Tables Yourself (The Wright Brothers, David McCullough): check accepted figures against what actually happens.
Habits & Behavior Change
A Minimum of About 21 Days
Preface, The Secret of Using This Book to Change Your Life, pp. xiii-xiv of the 1960 edition (page reference from a university research blog that traced the quotation).
Exercise / move daily; Eat healthier; Lose weight
01; 02; 08
Plan: For my next habit I will plan for about ten weeks, not three. I will do it after the same daily cue, track the days, and ignore single missed days. At week three I will expect it to feel like effort still, and carry on.
21 days, habit formation, myth, 66 days, how long, habit timeline, minimum, self-image, getting used to, automatic, missed days, patience, new year resolutions, expectations, origin of myth, research, consistency, cue, ten weeks, giving up early
You were told that a habit takes 21 days. At day 25 the run still takes effort, so you decide that you are the problem, and you stop.
For the habit you are building, mark a review date ten weeks from now in your calendar, not three. Decide today that one missed day does not count against you.
Maltz said a new self-image needs at least about 21 days to settle. That became the myth that any habit takes 21 days. Most take longer.
The Surrender Experiment
Single Model
Michael A. Singer
Not started
Give my full effort to the task I actually have, including the ones I did not choose.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Singer did not set out to be a builder or a software executive. People asked him for things: to put up an extension, to write a program for a shop, to build a system for a doctor's office. His experiment required him to say yes. What he brought to each job, as he tells it, was a single working rule. Do whatever is put in front of you with all your heart and soul, without regard for what you personally will get out of it, as though the universe itself had handed you the work. He describes giving a small job for a neighbour the same care as a major contract. In his account the quality of that work is what brought the next request, and the next after that. He treats work as a spiritual practice: the task is the place where you let go of the voice that asks if this is worth your while. Likely to trip me up: saving my best effort for the work I consider important. Note: this is a memoir by someone for whom it turned out very well, and it is not research. Doing every task wholeheartedly is sound. Saying yes to every request is not, and other rows in this database are about saying no. (Source: The Surrender Experiment.)
Process, Not Product (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): put your attention on the doing and not on the pay-off. Engage in the Task (The Confidence Gap, Russ Harris): performance follows where the attention goes.
Productivity & Focus
Do What Is in Front of You
From the middle sections of the book, which cover his building and software businesses. Chapter not verified. Page not verified (Harmony Books, 2015).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Limit multitasking / context-switching
07; 13; 28
Plan: Each morning I will pick the task in front of me that I least want to do, and give it one block of full attention, as though it mattered. I will note whenever my mind asks 'what is in this for me?', and go back to the work. After two weeks I will review what came of it.
wholehearted work, task in front of you, effort, service, no regard for results, craftsmanship, small jobs, attention, work as practice, reputation, reluctance, what is in it for me, presence, diligence, unchosen tasks, focus, quality, humility, single task, commitment
You do the dull or unchosen parts of your job half-heartedly while you wait for the work that deserves you. The half-hearted work is what people see.
Pick the task you least want to do today. Give it thirty minutes of your best attention, as though it had been handed to you on purpose.
Give the task in front of you your whole effort, as if it had been handed to you on purpose. Drop the question of what you will get.
Humor, Seriously
Single Model
Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas
Not started
Get funnier in my writing and my videos by noticing what is true, and not by trying to write jokes.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors studied how professional comedians work, and they reduce it to two elements. At the heart of anything funny is a truth: something that the audience recognises from their own lives. What turns it into a laugh is surprise, which comedians call misdirection: the listener is led to expect one thing and is given another. Their advice to beginners is therefore not to look for what is funny. Look for what is true. Mine your own life for observations: things that are incongruous, things that frustrate or delight you, opinions you hold strongly, small moments of pain. Then apply a few simple techniques from the comedian's craft. Exaggerate it. Set up a contrast. Be specific, since 'a beige hatchback' is funnier than 'a car'. Use an analogy. Use the rule of three, in which two ordinary items set up a pattern and the third breaks it. Likely to trip me up: I reach for ready-made jokes, which are about nobody's real life. Note: the authors are business school teachers, and this chapter is craft advice taken from working comedians. It is not research. (Source: Humor, Seriously, Ch. 3.)
The Curiosity Gap (Made to Stick, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): surprise is what holds attention. Gather Specific and General Materials (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): collect your raw material before you need it.
Creativity & Ideas
Truth and Misdirection
Ch. 3, The Anatomy of Funny. Page not verified (Currency, 2021).
Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
17; 25
Plan: I will keep a running note of small true things from my day: what annoyed me, what did not make sense, what I would be embarrassed to admit. For each video script I will take one item from the note and try a single technique on it: exaggerate it, compare it with something unexpected, or put it third in a list.
comedy writing, truth, misdirection, surprise, observation, rule of three, exaggeration, specificity, analogy, contrast, material, funny scripts, storytelling, content creation, noticing, incongruity, everyday life, punchline, craft, authenticity
You want your talks or videos to be funnier, so you go looking for jokes to insert. They feel forced, since they are not about anything that happened to you.
Write down three true things from today that were odd, annoying or embarrassing. Pick one, and exaggerate it until it makes you smile.
Funny starts with something true. Notice what is odd or annoying in your own day, then add a surprise. You do not need to invent jokes.
Psycho-Cybernetics
Single Model
Maxwell Maltz
Not started
Find the picture of myself that my behaviour keeps obeying, and begin to update it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Maltz was a plastic surgeon. He noticed that when he corrected a disfigurement, some patients changed within weeks: they became more outgoing, confident and happy. Others, given an equally good result, went on feeling and acting exactly as before, as though the scar were still there. He concluded that the second group carried an inner picture of themselves that the surgery had not touched. He called it the self-image: a mental blueprint of 'the sort of person I am', built up from past experiences, above all early successes, failures and the way others reacted to us. His central claim is that all our actions, feelings and even abilities stay consistent with this picture, so that effort which contradicts it does not last. A person who sees himself as 'bad at maths' or 'a failure type' will find a way to prove it, whatever his intentions. Change the picture, and new behaviour comes far more easily. Likely to trip me up: my self-image feels like a plain description of the facts. Note: Maltz was a surgeon, not a psychologist, and his evidence is case stories from 1960. The general idea fits later research on self-concept and on belief in one's own ability. (Source: Psycho-Cybernetics, Ch. 1.)
Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): the modern version of the same idea. Hold Your Identity Lightly (The Scout Mindset, Julia Galef): a self-picture held too tightly blocks the evidence.
Mindset & Emotions
The Self-Image
Ch. 1, The Self-Image: Your Key to a Better Life. Chapter titles are from the original 1960 text, which the 2015 TarcherPerigee edition keeps. The 2001 'New Psycho-Cybernetics' uses different titles. Page not verified.
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 04; 17
Plan: I will write ten sentences beginning 'I am the kind of person who ...' about the habit I cannot change. I will mark which are facts and which are old verdicts. For one old verdict I will collect three pieces of contrary evidence each week for a month.
self-image, identity, self-concept, inner picture, beliefs about myself, consistency, plastic surgery, inner scar, self-sabotage, limits, blueprint, change, habits, confidence, the kind of person I am, verdicts, childhood, evidence, update, personality
You try hard to change a habit, and you keep drifting back. Somewhere you hold a picture of yourself as 'not a morning person' or 'bad with money', and you keep proving it right.
Finish this sentence five times about a habit you cannot shift: 'I am the kind of person who ...'. Circle the one that is an old verdict and not a fact.
You act in line with the picture you hold of yourself. Effort that goes against the picture fails. Change the picture and behaviour follows.
Anchored
Single Model
Deb Dana
Not started
Train myself to notice the small good moments that I normally walk straight past.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: most of us know what a trigger is: a small cue that tips the body into alarm. Dana gives a name to its opposite. A glimmer is a micro-moment in which the body registers safety, connection or delight. It might be a stranger's smile, warm light through a window, the smell of rain, a pet settling beside you, or a few bars of a song. Glimmers are everywhere and they are easily missed, since a system on the look-out for danger does not register them. Her practice has three steps. Set an intention each day to find at least one. When you notice one, stop and let yourself feel it for a few breaths. Then keep track of them, and tell someone else. She is careful to say that glimmers do not cancel out hard things, and that this is not a matter of thinking positively. It is a way of helping the body learn that moments of safety exist as well. Likely to trip me up: treating it as one more task to get through, and hurrying past the moment itself. Note: Dana is a clinical social worker, and the theory behind the book is disputed. The word 'glimmer' has not been tested in research. It does match well-supported work on savouring small positive moments. (Source: Anchored.)
The Tetris Effect (The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor): what you practise looking for is what you come to see. Gratitude Is a Practice (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): it has to be done, not just felt.
Mindset & Emotions
Glimmers
I recall this from Ch. 7, Anchoring in Safety, and have not verified the chapter. Chapter titles confirmed from a published chapter-by-chapter review. Page not verified (Sounds True, 2021).
Improve mental health / be happier; Meditate / mindfulness; Spend more time outdoors
04; 21; 18
Plan: Each day I will look for at least one glimmer, such as sun on my face, a bird, a kind word or a good cup of tea. When I find one, I will stop for about twenty seconds and take it in. Each evening I will write down the day's glimmers and where I found them.
glimmers, triggers, micro-moments, savouring, safety, delight, noticing, small joys, attention, nature, sunlight, pets, daily practice, positive moments, nervous system, gratitude, presence, collect, negativity bias, settle
You can list every irritation in your day in detail, and you cannot recall a single good moment. There were some. Your attention was trained on threats, and it skipped them.
Find one glimmer before tonight: warm sun, a friendly face, a good smell. When you find it, stop for three slow breaths and take it in. Write it down.
A glimmer is the opposite of a trigger: a tiny moment of safety or delight. Notice and collect them, and the body learns to settle sooner.
Awe
Single Model
Dacher Keltner
Not started
Turn one ordinary walk a week into a deliberate search for awe.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Keltner describes a study he carried out with a neuroscientist at a California medical school. Older adults were asked to take a fifteen-minute walk once a week for eight weeks. Half of them were simply told to walk. The other half were given a short instruction in awe: go somewhere new when you can, and approach what you see with childlike wonder, looking for what is vast and what is surprising. Both groups walked about the same amount. The group who took awe walks reported more joy and more warmth towards other people as the weeks went on, and less everyday distress. Both groups were also asked to take photographs of themselves on each walk. In the awe group's pictures, the person gradually took up less of the frame and the surroundings took up more, and their smiles grew broader. The exercise was the same for both groups. What differed was where they put their attention. Likely to trip me up: walking the same route while looking at my phone. Note: this was a single study of older adults, led by a colleague and published in a scientific journal. The effects were modest and they built up over the weeks. (Source: Awe, Ch. 6.)
The Artist Date (The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron): a weekly outing alone, taken for the sake of wonder. Move Your Mood (Spark, John J. Ratey): the walking itself helps as well.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Awe Walk
Section II, Ch. 6, Wild Awe. The chapter starts on p. 117 (Penguin Press, 2023, from a library contents listing). The study's place within the chapter comes from a summary, and I have not checked it against the text.
Spend more time outdoors; Exercise / move daily; Improve mental health / be happier
18; 01; 04
Plan: Once a week for eight weeks I will take a fifteen-minute walk somewhere with something vast or new to me: big trees, open sky, water, a part of town I do not know. I will put my phone away, slow down, and look for what surprises me. I will rate my mood before and after each walk.
awe walk, walking, outdoors, wonder, attention outward, fifteen minutes, weekly, nature, novelty, childlike eyes, mood, older adults, selfies, small self, phone away, new places, joy, simple practice, vastness, routine
You walk the same streets with your eyes on your phone and your mind on your problems. It counts as exercise, and you come back in the same mood you left in.
Take a fifteen-minute walk with your phone away. Go somewhere slightly new to you. Look for one thing that is vast, and one thing that surprises you.
Once a week, walk for fifteen minutes somewhere vast or new, and look outward with a child's eyes. Even this small dose lifts mood.
Humor, Seriously
Single Model
Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas
Not started
Have a quick check to run before a risky joke, and a way to put things right when I get it wrong.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors accept that humour can go wrong, and they offer a way to think about the risk using three factors. Truth: humour works by pointing at something real, and the closer it cuts to a raw truth, the riskier it becomes. Pain: the more suffering is attached to the subject, and the more recent it is, the harder it is to joke about. Distance: how close the teller is to the subject. People can usually joke about their own group, their own misfortune or their own failing, and the same line from an outsider can wound. Status also matters. Joking about someone who has more power than you, which comedians call punching up, is generally safe. Aiming at someone with less power is not, and it reads as bullying, especially when it comes from a leader. They add that everyone misjudges this sometimes, and that the repair is simple: recognise it, work out what went wrong, and put it right without becoming defensive. Likely to trip me up: 'I was only joking', which is a defence and not a repair. Note: the authors are business school teachers, and this is a practical way of judging risk, not a research finding. (Source: Humor, Seriously, Ch. 7.)
Intent Is Not Impact (Difficult Conversations, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen): how it landed is what counts. Temper Your Eagerness (The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, Haemin Sunim): fit what you offer to the people in front of you.
People & Communication
Truth, Pain, Distance
Ch. 7, Navigating the Gray Areas of Humor. Page not verified (Currency, 2021).
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 17
Plan: Before any joke in public or in a group, I will ask three questions. Is it true? How much pain is attached to it, and whose pain is it? How close am I to the subject? I will also ask if it aims at someone with less power than me. When I misjudge one, I will say so plainly, and apologise without making excuses.
offensive jokes, risk, truth, pain, distance, punching down, punching up, power, status, reading the room, apology, only joking, sensitive topics, self-deprecation, outsiders, leaders, social media, repair, judgement, boundaries
You make a joke that would have been fine among close friends. It lands badly in a wider group or online, someone is hurt, and you reply, 'I was only joking.'
Think of a joke of yours that fell flat. Run the three checks: was the truth too raw, the pain too fresh, or was it not your subject to joke about?
A joke offends when the truth is too raw, the pain too great, or the teller too far from it. Check all three, and never punch down.
Humor, Seriously
Single Model
Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas
Not started
Notice how little I laugh on a working day, and bring some of it back on purpose.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors, who teach a course on humour at a California business school, report a worldwide survey of about 1.4 million people in 166 countries. It asked one simple question: did you smile or laugh a lot yesterday? In their teens and early twenties, most people say yes. Then, at about the age when people start work, the number falls sharply, and it does not rise again until around retirement. They call this the humor cliff. Their reading is that we do not become less funny. We come to believe that seriousness is what adult and professional life requires, and that humour is a risk. They name several mistaken beliefs behind this: that humour has no place in serious work, that a joke which fails will be a disaster, that you have to be 'funny' to use it, and that a sense of humour is something you are born with and not something you can learn. Likely to trip me up: I believe that looking serious is what makes people take me seriously. Note: the authors are business school teachers. The cliff comes from a large survey, so it shows a pattern and not a cause. (Source: Humor, Seriously, Ch. 1.)
Exhaustion Is Not a Status Symbol (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): play and rest are not a waste of time. Social Investment (The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor): the relationships that carry you are built in light moments.
Mindset & Emotions
The Humor Cliff
Ch. 1, The Humor Cliff. Page not verified (Currency, 2021).
Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety; Spend time with family/friends
04; 12; 14
Plan: For two weeks I will end each day by answering one question: did I smile or laugh a lot today? On days when the answer is no, I will note why. Each day I will also do one small thing that invites a laugh: a light line in a message, a funny story at dinner, or time with the friend who makes me laugh.
humor cliff, laughter, smiling, work, seriousness, adulthood, levity, joy, survey, professional mask, playfulness, fun at work, stress, daily laughter, myths about humour, workplace, retirement, light-heartedness, connection, habit lost
You used to laugh all the time. Now whole working weeks go by without a real laugh, and you put it down to being a grown-up with responsibilities.
Tonight, answer honestly: did I smile or laugh a lot today? If the answer is no, plan one thing for tomorrow that makes a laugh more likely.
People laugh and smile far less from their early twenties, when they start work, until they retire. It is a habit lost, not a trait.
Anchored
Single Model
Deb Dana
Not started
When I feel unsettled for no clear reason, check three things before I blame myself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dana names three elements that the body needs in order to settle into a sense of safety. The first is context. We need to know what is going on, and why, so that we respond to the present situation and not to an old one that it resembles. When information is missing, the body fills the gap with a sense of danger. The second is choice. We need some say in what happens, and she notes that there is a sweet spot: too little choice feels like a trap, and too much can leave us frozen. The third is connection: to ourselves, to other people and pets, to nature and to the world around us. She says that when any of the three is missing, we are more easily pulled into states of protection, and that restoring them is often what brings us back. Likely to trip me up: treating the unease as a fault in my character, when it is a response to something that is missing. Note: Dana is a clinical social worker, and the book rests on polyvagal theory, whose biology many scientists dispute. This checklist does not depend on that theory. It agrees with well-supported research showing that uncertainty, lack of control and isolation are the main sources of stress. (Source: Anchored, Ch. 1.)
Stress Without Control (Brain Rules, John Medina): lack of control is what makes stress harmful. Feeling Safe with Others (The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk): why connection is the third leg.
Mindset & Emotions
Context, Choice, Connection
Ch. 1, Principles and Elements of Polyvagal Theory, p. 10 (page from a published chapter-by-chapter review of the Sounds True edition, 2021).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop overthinking / rumination
12; 04; 15
Plan: When I notice that I am on edge, I will ask three questions. Do I know what is actually going on? Do I have any say in it? Am I in touch with anyone? I will act on whichever one gets a 'no': find out the facts, find one choice I can make, or contact someone.
context, choice, connection, safety, uncertainty, control, isolation, unsettled, stress sources, information, agency, belonging, checklist, on edge, new job, change, too many options, trapped, support, settle
You feel on edge and cannot say why. Nothing terrible has happened. You are short of information, you have no say in the matter, or you have been alone with it for too long.
Next time you feel unsettled, ask: do I know what is going on, do I have any choice here, and am I in touch with anyone? Fix whichever gets a 'no'.
To feel safe you need to know what is going on, to have some say, and to be in touch with someone. When unsettled, check which is missing.
Awe
Single Model
Dacher Keltner
Not started
Use awe to get my worries and my status concerns back into proportion.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Keltner reports a line of studies on what awe does to our sense of self. In one, visitors at a great national park and at an ordinary tourist spot in a city were asked to draw themselves. The people at the park drew themselves much smaller, and wrote 'me' in smaller letters. In brain-imaging work, awe quietened the network of regions that is active when we think about ourselves. His team calls the result the small self. He means a healthy sense of proportion and not humiliation: the feeling that your own concerns are a small part of something much larger. In other experiments, people who had just felt awe, for example after looking up into a stand of very tall trees for a minute, were more helpful to a stranger, more generous and less entitled than people who had looked at a building. They also felt that they had more time. Likely to trip me up: when I am caught up in myself, the last thing I think of doing is to go and look at something large. Note: Keltner is a leading researcher, and these are mostly studies from his own laboratory. Several are small, and the effects may fade quickly. (Source: Awe, Ch. 2.)
Your Inner Roommate (The Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer): awe is one of the few things that quietens the voice. The Awe Walk (Awe, Dacher Keltner): a way to get a regular dose.
Mindset & Emotions
The Small Self
Section I, Ch. 2, Awe Inside Out. Page not verified (Penguin Press, 2023).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve mental health / be happier
26; 15; 04
Plan: When I am stuck in a loop about myself, such as how I am doing, what people think or what I lack, I will go to the nearest vast thing I can find: the night sky, a large tree, a wide view, a great piece of music. I will stay for ten minutes, and rate how large the worry feels before and after.
small self, awe, perspective, self-focus, ego, proportion, generosity, humility, vastness, status anxiety, rumination, tall trees, night sky, entitlement, default self, connection, comparison, kindness, time, shrinking worries
Your mind goes round and round about you: how you are doing, how you compare with others, what you still lack. The more you think about yourself, the worse you feel.
Tonight, go outside and look up at the sky for five minutes. Or stand under the largest tree nearby. Notice what happens to the size of your worries.
Awe shrinks the self. Your worries and status take up less room, and you become more curious, more generous and more connected to others.
Humor, Seriously
Single Model
Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas
Not started
Know my own way of being funny, and adjust it to the person I am with.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say that people tend to be funny in one of four ways, and they sort them along two lines: how expressive or how subtle the delivery is, and how affiliative or how aggressive the content is. The Stand-up is bold and irreverent, a natural entertainer who does not mind ruffling a few feathers to get a laugh, and who can take a joke as well as make one. The Sweetheart is earnest and understated, with gentle humour that lifts the mood and never comes at anyone's expense. The Magnet is expressive, warm and a little silly, the person who lights up a room and laughs easily. The Sniper is dry, sarcastic and sharp, the master of the unexpected dig, who is very funny and sometimes wounding. No style is the right one. The point is to know your own default, to recognise other people's, and to move between styles as the situation demands, since a Sniper's line lands very differently on a Sweetheart. Likely to trip me up: assuming that everyone enjoys my kind of joke. Note: the authors are business school teachers, and the four types come from their own surveys. Treat it as a handy way of sorting, and not as a validated personality test. (Source: Humor, Seriously, Ch. 1.)
The Matching Principle (Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg): match the kind of conversation the other person is having. Match Mood and Energy (Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg): get in step before you try anything else.
People & Communication
The Four Humor Styles
Ch. 1, The Humor Cliff, where I recall the four styles being introduced. The styles are confirmed by the authors' own published summary of their course. Placement in Ch. 1 not verified. Page not verified (Currency, 2021).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: I will work out which of the four styles is my natural one, and ask two friends if they agree. For a month I will watch for the style of the person I am talking to, and tone mine down or up to suit. I will be especially careful if I lean towards the sniper.
humor styles, stand-up, sweetheart, magnet, sniper, sarcasm, banter, teasing, reading people, self-awareness, delivery, affiliative, aggressive humour, adapt, sense of humour, types, social skills, friendships, tone, jokes
Your teasing delights your old friends and falls flat with your new colleague, who goes quiet. You decide that they have no sense of humour. They have a different one.
Decide which of the four you are most like: stand-up, sweetheart, magnet or sniper. Then think of someone your jokes do not land with, and guess which one they are.
People are funny in four ways: the bold stand-up, the gentle sweetheart, the lively magnet and the dry sniper. Know yours, and read theirs.
The Surrender Experiment
Single Model
Michael A. Singer
Not started
In a crisis that I cannot control, put my effort into my own state and into the next practical step.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: near the end of his career, federal agents raided the company that Singer had built. He was later charged in a fraud case concerning its accounts, which ran on for years, and he writes that the case against him was in the end dropped. He tells of sitting in his office while the agents carried out boxes, with no idea what it was about. He saw that thinking about why it was happening, or how it would end, could not help him. So he spent the day letting go of whatever the voice in his head was saying, and relaxing each time his heart began to race. He writes that in that situation surrender was not one option among several. It was the only sane thing to do. Through the legal years he used the same practice on the urge to defend himself and on his fear of the outcome, while doing each practical thing that his lawyers asked of him. Likely to trip me up: believing that worry is a way of doing something about it. Note: this is one man's account of his own case, and it had a good ending, so it proves nothing. The practice is an old one: work on what is yours to work on. It is not a substitute for proper legal, medical or professional help. (Source: The Surrender Experiment, Total Surrender.)
Focus on the Road, Not the Wall (The Hard Thing About Hard Things, Ben Horowitz): give your attention to the next move and not to the disaster. The Stockdale Paradox (Good to Great, Jim Collins): face the brutal facts, and keep faith in the end.
Mindset & Emotions
Use the Storm
The closing section, Total Surrender, in the chapters 'The Raid', 'Attorneys, Attorneys, and More Attorneys' and 'United States of America v. Michael A. Singer' (section and chapter titles from readers' highlights). Page not verified (Harmony Books, 2015).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination
12; 15
Plan: When something large goes wrong and is out of my hands, I will split a page into two columns: what I can do today, and everything else. I will do the first column. For the second, each time the urge to defend, explain or rehearse comes up, I will breathe out and let it pass, and I will keep a tally.
crisis, out of my control, legal trouble, raid, letting go, reaction, defensiveness, fear, acceptance, next step, equanimity, worry, uncertainty, lawsuit, job loss, diagnosis, inner state, relax and release, endurance, surrender
Something large goes wrong that is out of your hands: a legal matter, a lay-off, a diagnosis in the family. You spend your days running through outcomes and defending yourself in your head.
If you are in a situation you cannot control, write two lists: what I can actually do today, and everything else. Do the first list. Each time the second list pulls at you, breathe out.
In a crisis you cannot control, what is left to work on is your own reaction. Relax, let the urge to defend pass, then do the next thing.
The Surrender Experiment
Single Model
Michael A. Singer
Not started
Find out how much of my resistance is only preference, by dropping it in small matters and watching what happens.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Singer describes a decision he made as a young man living alone in the Florida woods in order to meditate. He had noticed that the voice in his head had a like or a dislike about everything, and that he was spending his life trying to make the world match those preferences. So he set himself a rule. If life was unfolding in a certain way, and the only reason he was resisting it was personal preference, he would let go of the preference and let life take charge. He calls this the surrender experiment. The book is the story of what followed from saying yes to things he did not want: a request to teach, a building job, a piece of software that someone asked him to write. Over some decades it led to a meditation centre, a construction business and a large medical software company. He is clear that surrender did not mean doing nothing. It meant dropping his inner resistance first, and then doing fully whatever the situation asked of him. Likely to trip me up: using the rule to avoid decisions that really are mine to make. Note: this is a memoir by a man for whom it turned out very well, and readers have pointed out that surrender is easy to recommend from there. It is not research, and nobody should stay in a harmful situation on the strength of it. (Source: The Surrender Experiment.)
Surrender Is Not Resignation (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): give way to the moment, and keep acting. Gravity Problems (Designing Your Life, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans): accept what you cannot act on, and work on what you can.
Mindset & Emotions
The Surrender Experiment
About a quarter of the way through the book, where he states the rule (a reader's highlight places the passage at 24 per cent). I recall the section title as 'The Great Experiment Begins', and have not verified it. Page not verified (Harmony Books, 2015).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
15; 12; 27
Plan: For thirty days, in small matters only, I will ask one question whenever I notice that I am resisting something: is this a real reason, or only 'I do not feel like it'? If it is only preference, I will go along with what is in front of me, and keep notes on how it turns out. Anything involving money, safety or my values is outside the experiment.
surrender, preference, resistance, saying yes, letting go, control, likes and dislikes, inner voice, experiment, acceptance, flow of life, memoir, opportunities, stubbornness, comfort zone, I do not feel like it, openness, trust, small matters, judgement
You turn down requests, invitations and changes of plan by reflex. When you look at your reasons, most of them come down to 'I do not feel like it.'
The next time you feel yourself resisting something small, ask: is there a real reason, or only a preference? If it is only a preference, say yes once, and see what happens.
If the only reason you resist what life brings is personal preference, let the preference go and see what happens. Treat it as a test.
Psycho-Cybernetics
Single Model
Maxwell Maltz
Not started
Break the automatic link between a ping and my reaching for the phone.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Maltz points out that a telephone bell has no power to move you. You have learned, through long habit, to obey it, so that when it rings you drop what you are doing and go. He calls this over-response: reacting automatically to every stimulus that comes along. His remedy is practice. Let the telephone ring, sit quietly, and notice that you do not have to obey. The bell is a signal, and a signal has no power in itself. You gave it that power, and you can take it back. He says that delaying a response, even by counting to ten, weakens the conditioned link, and that a person who can do this carries a kind of built-in tranquilliser. He also suggests keeping a quiet room in the imagination to retreat to for a few minutes each day. Likely to trip me up: the fear that this one might be urgent. Note: Maltz was writing in 1960 about landline telephones. Applying it to notifications is my extension. The principle, that a learned response fades when the signal is repeatedly not obeyed, is standard conditioning research. (Source: Psycho-Cybernetics, Ch. 12.)
Is This Trigger Serving Me? (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): question the signal before you obey it. The Sacred Pause (Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach): the gap between a stimulus and what you do next.
Habits & Behavior Change
Let the Telephone Ring
Ch. 12, Do-It-Yourself Tranquilizers That Bring Peace of Mind. Chapter titles are from the original 1960 text. Page not verified.
Cut phone / social-media use; Manage stress / anxiety; Limit multitasking / context-switching
06; 12; 28
Plan: For two weeks I will practise once a day. When my phone rings or buzzes, I will stay still, breathe out, and say to myself that it is only a signal. I will answer on my own terms or not at all. I will log how strong the pull feels each day.
telephone, notifications, over-response, conditioning, signal, stimulus, delay, phone checking, pings, urgency, reactivity, calm, pause, count to ten, extinction, attention, interruptions, quiet room, automatic reaction, self-control
Your phone buzzes and your hand is on it before you have decided anything. Dozens of times a day, a sound decides what you do next.
The next time your phone buzzes, do not move. Breathe out, count slowly to ten, and say: 'That is only a signal.' Then decide if you will look.
A ringing phone is a signal, not a command. You have learned to jump at it. Practise not responding, and the signal loses its hold on you.
Awe
Single Model
Dacher Keltner
Not started
Treat time in wild places as something I need, and put it in my calendar.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Keltner argues that awe in nature, which he calls wild awe, is a basic human need, and that a life spent entirely indoors is missing something. His clearest evidence is a study in which military veterans, and teenagers from under-resourced schools, were taken white-water rafting for a day. A week later, both groups reported less stress and better well-being, and got on better with family and friends. When the researchers looked at which of the emotions felt on the river explained the improvement, the answer was awe, and not pride or plain enjoyment. He also reports work from his laboratory in which people who feel more awe in daily life show lower levels of a marker of inflammation in the body. And he gathers a long list of findings that link time in nature with better attention, a calmer mind and better health. Likely to trip me up: 'when I have time', which never comes. Note: Keltner is a leading researcher. The rafting study was small and had no comparison group, and the inflammation finding is a correlation. The wider research on nature and well-being is large, and it mostly points the same way. (Source: Awe, Ch. 6.)
Manage the Load (Discipline Is Destiny, Ryan Holiday): recovery has to be scheduled. Befriending the Body (The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk): the body registers where you are.
Habits & Behavior Change
Wild Awe
Section II, Ch. 6, Wild Awe. The chapter starts on p. 117 (Penguin Press, 2023, from a library contents listing).
Spend more time outdoors; Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier
18; 12; 04
Plan: I will book one half-day a month in the wildest place I can reach: hills, a forest, a lake, the coast. I will go without headphones. In between I will use the nearest green space each week. I will note my stress levels and sleep in the days that follow each outing.
wild awe, nature, outdoors, rafting study, veterans, stress, well-being, inflammation, forest, mountains, green space, need for nature, recovery, indoors, attention restoration, hiking, river, monthly outing, calm, health
You spend weeks at a time between walls and screens: home, vehicle, office, home. You feel wound up and flat at once, and cannot say what is missing.
Look at a map and find the wildest place within an hour of you. Put a half-day there in your calendar this month. Leave the headphones at home.
Time in wild nature does more than relax you. The awe it brings lowers stress and leaves people happier a week later. Humans need it.
Anchored
Single Model
Deb Dana
Not started
Have three plain words for the state I am in, so that I can name it before I act from it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dana describes three broad states that the body moves between. In the first we feel safe and connected: we can listen, think and enjoy company. In the second we are mobilised for action, ready to fight or to flee: the heart speeds up and we become anxious or angry. In the third, when the threat feels inescapable, the system shuts down: we go flat, numb and far away. She pictures them as a ladder that we move up and down many times a day. She asks readers to find their own words for the three, and offers examples such as sunny, stormy and foggy. She also asks them to complete two sentences from inside each state, 'The world is ...' and 'I am ...', to see how different the answers are. She stresses that leaving the safe state is normal. Trouble comes from getting stuck, and the skill lies in noticing where you are and finding your way back. Likely to trip me up: from inside a state, its view of the world feels like the plain truth. Note: Dana is a clinical social worker, and the book rests on polyvagal theory, whose biological claims many physiologists dispute. I have taken the three states as a simple vocabulary and not as established science. This is not a treatment. (Source: Anchored, Ch. 1 and Ch. 2.)
Top-Down and Bottom-Up Regulation (The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk): two routes back to the steady state. Befriending the Body (The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk): learning to read your body's signals.
Mindset & Emotions
Sunny, Stormy, Foggy
Ch. 1, Principles and Elements of Polyvagal Theory (the exercise with 'The world is ...' and 'I am ...' is on p. 8), and Ch. 2, Travelling Autonomic Pathways (finding your own words is on p. 24). Pages from a published chapter-by-chapter review of the Sounds True edition, 2021.
Manage stress / anxiety; Meditate / mindfulness; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 21; 04
Plan: I will choose my own three words, such as sunny, stormy and foggy. Three times a day I will stop, name my state, and finish the sentences 'The world is ...' and 'I am ...' from inside it. I will note what usually moves me from one state to another.
three states, sunny stormy foggy, fight or flight, shutdown, safe and social, nervous system, naming states, ladder, stress response, numbness, anxiety, regulation, body awareness, check-in, polyvagal, mobilised, collapse, flexibility, self-awareness, state before action
One hour you are snapping at everyone, and the next you are flat on the sofa unable to care. You call yourself moody or lazy. You have no words for what is happening in your body.
Pick your own three words for safe, revved-up and shut-down. Right now, name which one you are in. Then finish the sentences: 'The world is ...' and 'I am ...'.
Your body moves between three states: safe and social, mobilised to fight or flee, and shut down. Name which one you are in before you act.
Anchored
Single Model
Deb Dana
Not started
Stop arguing with a bleak story in my head, and deal first with the state that is producing it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dana says we usually assume that our thoughts come first and that our feelings follow. Her claim is that it runs the other way. The body's state comes first, and the mind then produces a story to match it. She writes that the body is where our stories emerge about who we are and how the world works. From a settled state, a friend's unanswered message means that they are busy. From an alarmed state, the same silence means that they are angry with you. From a shut-down state, it means that nobody cares. The facts have not changed. Only the state has. The practical result is that arguing with the story rarely works while the state is unchanged. Shift the state, through breath, movement or contact with another person, and a different story becomes available. She gives an exercise for deliberately imagining a new story once you are settled. Likely to trip me up: the story feels like an accurate reading of the situation. Note: Dana is a clinical social worker, and the theory behind the book is disputed by many physiologists. The practical point is supported by separate research showing that mood and bodily arousal colour how we read events. (Source: Anchored, Ch. 2 and Ch. 9.)
Master My Stories (Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and co-authors): separate the facts from the story you told yourself. Is It the World, or My Mind? (The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, Haemin Sunim): look at the lens before you judge the view.
Mindset & Emotions
Story Follows State
Introduced in Ch. 2, Travelling Autonomic Pathways (p. 13), and developed in Ch. 9, Re-Storying (the exercise on imagining a new story is on p. 129). Pages from a published chapter-by-chapter review of the Sounds True edition, 2021.
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier
15; 12; 04
Plan: When I catch a catastrophic story, such as 'this will never work', I will ask what state I am in. If I am revved-up or shut-down, I will shift the state first with a slow breath out, a short walk or a call to someone. Only then will I write the story down again and compare the two versions.
story follows state, body first, interpretation, catastrophising, mood, unanswered message, rumination, state shift, breath, movement, reframing, arousal, bleak thoughts, nervous system, narrative, facts versus story, re-storying, anxiety, perspective, settle first
A message goes unanswered and within minutes you are sure the friendship is over. You spend the evening arguing with that thought, and it wins.
Next time a bleak story takes hold, do not argue with it. Breathe out slowly six times, or walk for five minutes. Then write the story down again, and see what has changed.
The state of your body writes the story in your head. In an alarmed state every story is bleak. Change the state first, then look again.
Psycho-Cybernetics
Single Model
Maxwell Maltz
Not started
Give my mind a clear target, and treat my errors as steering signals.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Maltz borrowed from cybernetics, which was then the new science of self-guiding machines. A guided torpedo has a target and a way of sensing when it is off course. It does not travel in a straight line. It zigzags, making errors and correcting them, and it arrives. He argued that the brain and nervous system work as a goal-striving mechanism of the same kind, which he called the success mechanism. From this he drew some working rules. It must have a clear target, since without one it has nothing to steer by. Keep your mind on the end result, and the means will be found as you go. Do not be afraid of errors, which are how the mechanism steers, and once a correction is made, forget the error and remember the successful response. And do not jam the mechanism with anxious effort: set the goal, act, and trust it. Likely to trip me up: I read each error as a failure, where he reads it as a course correction. Note: the machine comparison is a 1960 metaphor, and the brain is not a simple device. Later research on goals does find that specific targets combined with feedback work well. (Source: Psycho-Cybernetics, Ch. 2.)
Objectives and Key Results (Measure What Matters, John Doerr): a clear target, with measures to steer by. The Confidence Cycle (The Confidence Gap, Russ Harris): act, assess and modify.
Productivity & Focus
The Success Mechanism
Ch. 2, Discovering the Success Mechanism Within You. Chapter titles are from the original 1960 text. Page not verified.
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 07; 17
Plan: For one goal I will write the end result in a single concrete sentence and picture it each morning for one minute. Each week I will note what went off course and the correction I made, without any comment on what it says about me.
success mechanism, goal seeking, cybernetics, feedback, course correction, target, errors, servo-mechanism, guided missile, end result, trial and error, goals, zigzag, anxiety, trust, clear aim, drifting, mistakes, steering, automatic
You work hard with no clear picture of where you are heading, and you take every mistake as proof that you are failing. So you stall, or go round in circles.
Write one goal as a concrete end result you could photograph. Then list your last three 'mistakes' on it and, beside each, the correction it points to.
The mind works like a guided missile. Give it a clear target and it steers there by erring and correcting. With no target, it drifts.
Awe
Single Model
Dacher Keltner
Not started
Know the eight places where awe is found, so that I can go looking for it each week.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Keltner, a psychologist who has studied emotion for decades, defines awe as the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that goes beyond your current understanding of the world. To find out what brings it on, his team collected people's stories of awe from twenty-six countries and sorted them. Eight sources came up again and again, and he calls them the eight wonders of life. They are moral beauty, meaning other people's courage, kindness and strength. Collective effervescence, the feeling of moving as one with others in a dance, a ceremony or a crowd. Nature. Music. Visual design, from paintings to buildings. Spiritual and religious experience. Life and death, such as a birth or being with someone who is dying. And epiphanies, the big ideas that suddenly change how you see things. He notes that money and possessions did not appear in the stories, and that daily diary studies find people feeling some awe two or three times a week. Likely to trip me up: thinking that awe requires a journey to a canyon. Note: Keltner is a leading researcher, and much of the book rests on his own laboratory's studies. The sorting into eight is his own reading of the collected stories. (Source: Awe, Ch. 1.)
Communal Rhythms (The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk): one of the eight, looked at more closely. Glimmers (Anchored, Deb Dana): the small, everyday end of the same scale.
Mindset & Emotions
The Eight Wonders of Life
Section I, Ch. 1, Eight Wonders of Life. A reviewer cites the eight wonders at pp. 11-17 (Penguin Press, 2023).
Improve mental health / be happier; Spend more time outdoors; Meditate / mindfulness
04; 18; 21
Plan: I will keep the list of eight, and each week I will seek out one on purpose: a walk under big trees, a live concert, a documentary about someone brave, an old building, a big idea in a book. Afterwards I will write two lines on what I felt, and notice which sources work best for me.
awe, wonder, eight wonders, moral beauty, collective effervescence, nature, music, art, spirituality, life and death, epiphany, vastness, everyday awe, meaning, sources of awe, emotion, transcendence, goosebumps, mystery, well-being
Your weeks are efficient and flat. Nothing moves you. You assume that wonder is for holidays and for other people, and you have no idea where to look for it.
Read the list of eight, and recall the last time each one gave you goosebumps. Pick the one that is easiest to reach, and plan a dose of it this week.
Awe comes from eight sources: moral beauty, moving together, nature, music, visual design, the spiritual, life and death, and big ideas.
The Confidence Gap
Single Model
Russ Harris
Not started
Build confidence in one skill by running the full loop, and not just the first step.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harris describes how confidence is actually built, in four steps that repeat. First, practise the skills: there is no substitute for repetition, and he notes that the people we think of as naturally confident have usually practised a great deal where nobody could see. Second, apply the skills effectively, in real situations, which means stepping out of your comfort zone with your attention on the task. Third, assess the results: look honestly, and without harsh judgement, at what worked and what did not. Fourth, modify as needed: do more of what worked, change what did not, and go round again. He says people tend to get stuck at particular points. Some practise for ever and never apply the skill. Some apply it and never look at the results. Some assess so harshly that they give up. Likely to trip me up: step three, where my self-criticism takes over from honest review. Note: Harris is a doctor and therapist. The loop is ordinary skill-building, and it agrees with research on deliberate practice and feedback. (Source: The Confidence Gap, Part 1.)
The Sweet Spot (The Talent Code, Daniel Coyle): practise at the edge of what you can do. Score, Assess, Reflect (Measure What Matters, John Doerr): review each round before you start the next.
Learning & Knowledge
The Confidence Cycle
Part 1, Warming Up (Ch. 1 to Ch. 3, pp. 13 to 48 in the Shambhala edition, 2011). I recall this from Ch. 2, The Good Old Days (p. 34), and have not verified the exact chapter.
Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 27
Plan: For one skill, such as speaking on camera, I will run the loop every week. I will practise a specific part of it, use it in a real situation, review the result without calling myself names, and change one thing. I will log each round for ten weeks.
confidence cycle, practice, apply, assess, modify, skill building, feedback loop, repetition, comfort zone, review, improvement, iteration, deliberate practice, real situations, self-assessment, adjust, learning loop, competence, progress, stuck points
You practise in private for ever and never try it for real. Or you try once, it goes badly, and you decide that you are not cut out for it.
For one skill, write down where you are stuck in the loop: practising, applying, assessing or modifying. Do that step once this week.
Confidence is built in a loop: practise the skills, apply them for real, assess the results, and modify what you do. Then go round again.
The Untethered Soul
Single Model
Michael A. Singer
Not started
Hear the voice in my head as a voice, so that I stop taking its commentary as the truth.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Singer points out that there is a voice in your head that talks all day. It narrates what you can already see, worries, judges, argues both sides of a question, and changes its mind from minute to minute. He proposes an experiment. Imagine taking that voice out of your head and giving it a body, so that it becomes a person who goes everywhere with you and says aloud everything the voice says: on the sofa during a film, in the car, at dinner. He says you would not put up with such a roommate for a day. You would certainly not ask them for advice about your life. Yet from the inside, we treat the same voice as ourselves, and do what it says. His point is that you are not the voice. You are the one who hears it, and noticing that is the beginning of some freedom from it. Likely to trip me up: the voice sounds exactly like me. Note: Singer is a meditation teacher writing from yoga philosophy, not a scientist. This idea is close to what therapists call stepping back from your thoughts, which has research support. (Source: The Untethered Soul, Ch. 2.)
Watch the Thinker (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): the same move, from another teacher. Defusion (Thoughts Are Just Words) (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): the version used in therapy.
Mindset & Emotions
Your Inner Roommate
Part 1, Awakening Consciousness, Ch. 2, Your Inner Roommate. Page not verified (New Harbinger Publications and Noetic Books, 2007).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Meditate / mindfulness; Manage stress / anxiety
15; 21; 12
Plan: For one week, whenever I notice the commentary running, I will picture it as a person sitting beside me saying those words aloud. I will note whether I would take that person's advice. Once a day I will write down one thing it said that turned out to be wrong.
inner voice, inner roommate, mental chatter, overthinking, self-talk, observer, narrator, commentary, worry, identification, awareness, thoughts, noise, advice, personify, mindfulness, rumination, distance, the one who hears, monologue
A voice in your head comments on everything, predicts disaster and changes its mind hourly. You assume that it is you, and that what it says is true.
For ten minutes, picture your inner voice as a person sitting next to you, saying every thought out loud. Ask yourself: would I take this person's advice?
Picture the voice in your head as a roommate who never stops talking. You would not take their advice. You are the one who hears it.
The Untethered Soul
Single Model
Michael A. Singer
Not started
Stop swinging between extremes in my habits, and hold a steady middle.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Singer draws on the old Chinese teaching of the Way, and uses the picture of a pendulum. Pull it far to one side and let go, and it does not stop in the middle. It swings just as far to the other side. He says our behaviour does the same. Starve yourself and you will overeat. Cling to a person and you push them into distance. Work without rest and you collapse into doing nothing. Each extreme produces its opposite, and a great deal of energy goes into the swinging itself and none into getting anywhere. The middle way is the point at which no energy is being spent pushing in either direction, so that all of it is available for the thing you are actually doing. He says you find it by noticing when you have gone to an extreme and easing back, again and again, until the swings become smaller. Likely to trip me up: extremes feel like commitment, and the middle feels like a lack of ambition. Note: Singer is a meditation teacher drawing on Taoist ideas, not a researcher. The swing between restriction and bingeing is well documented in studies of dieting. (Source: The Untethered Soul, Ch. 18.)
The What-the-Hell Effect (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): a strict rule is what sets up the binge. Manage the Load (Discipline Is Destiny, Ryan Holiday): effort you can sustain beats heroic bursts.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Pendulum
Part 5, Living Life, Ch. 18, The Secret of the Middle Way. Page not verified (New Harbinger Publications and Noetic Books, 2007).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Lose weight; Manage stress / anxiety
19; 08; 12
Plan: For the habit where I swing most, such as strict dieting followed by bingeing, or overwork followed by collapse, I will write down both extremes and then a middle rule that I could keep on my worst day. I will hold to the middle rule for six weeks and log any swings.
pendulum, extremes, middle way, balance, binge and restrict, overwork, collapse, moderation, swinging, tao, yo-yo dieting, all or nothing, sustainable, energy waste, steady, habits, burnout, crash diets, consistency, centre
You go all in: no sugar, the gym every day, fourteen-hour days at work. Three weeks later you are eating everything and doing nothing. Then you start again.
Pick the habit where you swing most. Write down both extremes. Then write a middle rule that you could keep even on a bad day, and start with that.
Push to one extreme and you swing back to the other. Effort is wasted on the swinging. In the middle, your energy goes into the work itself.
The Untethered Soul
Single Model
Michael A. Singer
Not started
Stop asking my mind to make me feel all right by getting the world arranged exactly so.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Singer says that most of the mind's frantic activity comes from a task we have handed to it without ever noticing. We have inner fears and hurts that we do not want to feel, and so we ask the mind to arrange the outside world in such a way that they never get touched. People must behave in a certain manner, events must go a certain way, and the future must be made safe. No mind can do this. The world is too large and keeps changing, so the mind never stops: it plans, rehearses conversations, worries and corrects. He describes it as an impossible job, and says the way to quiet the mind is to relieve it of that job. You stop asking it to fix how you feel by controlling what happens, and you deal with the feelings directly. What is left for the mind is ordinary practical thinking, which it does well. Likely to trip me up: planning for every outcome feels like being responsible. Note: Singer is a meditation teacher writing from yoga philosophy, not a scientist. The account fits with research that treats worry as an attempt to control what cannot be known. (Source: The Untethered Soul, Ch. 10.)
Let Them, Let Me (The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins): stop managing other people. Leave, Change or Accept (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): the only three real options in any situation.
Mindset & Emotions
The Mind's Impossible Job
Part 3, Freeing Yourself, Ch. 10, Stealing Freedom for Your Soul. Page not verified (New Harbinger Publications and Noetic Books, 2007).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety; Meditate / mindfulness
15; 12; 21
Plan: When I catch my mind running plans to get people and events to go my way so that I can feel fine, I will say to it, 'That is not your job.' I will then do the one practical thing that is actually mine to do, and leave the rest. I will keep a tally for two weeks.
overthinking, control, worry, impossible job, planning, rehearsing, mind, anxiety, arranging the world, other people, fixing feelings, mental noise, letting go, responsibility, rumination, quiet mind, scenarios, fear, relief, practical thinking
Your mind never stops. It rehearses conversations, plans for every outcome and tries to control how others will act, all so that you can feel all right. It never gets there.
Next time your mind starts arranging other people and the future so that you can feel fine, tell it: 'That is not your job.' Then do the one thing that is yours to do.
You have asked your mind to make you feel fine by arranging the world. It cannot, so it never rests. Relieve it of the job.
The 48 Laws of Power
Single Model
Robert Greene
Not started
Say less in meetings and negotiations, so that I listen more and regret less.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greene's argument is that the more you say, the more common you appear and the more likely you are to say something you regret. He tells of a French king whose ministers would argue a matter at length in front of him. He listened in silence, said only 'I shall see', and gave his decision later, so that nobody could predict him or talk him round. He sets against this a Roman general whose reputation rested on his deeds. When he stood for office and began making long speeches, he insulted the voters, showed his contempt, and was banished. Greene adds that short answers make the other person fill the silence, and that they often reveal more than they meant to. He notes the limit as well: silence can arouse suspicion, and there are times when it is safer to seem open. Likely to trip me up: nerves make me talk. Note: Greene is a writer who draws rules from chosen historical stories, some of them disputed, and his aim is power over others. I have taken the plain part, which is restraint in speech. Using silence to keep people anxious is his idea and not my aim. (Source: The 48 Laws of Power, Law 4.)
Drop 'Certainly' (Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, Walter Isaacson): fewer and softer words carry further. Tell It Like It Is (The Hard Thing About Hard Things, Ben Horowitz): the opposite case, where plain openness is what builds trust.
People & Communication
Say Less Than Necessary
Law 4, Always Say Less Than Necessary. Each law is its own chapter. Page not verified (Viking, 1998).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised
25; 13
Plan: In my next five meetings I will speak only after two other people have spoken, keep each contribution to two sentences, and leave a pause before answering any question. Afterwards I will note what I learned that I would have talked over.
say less, silence, restraint, oversharing, talking too much, meetings, negotiation, listening, regret, short answers, pause, composure, nerves, reputation, discretion, filling silence, interviews, power, brevity, self-control
You fill every silence. In meetings and interviews you keep talking after you have made your point, and on the way home you wince at what slipped out.
In your next conversation that matters, make your point in two sentences and then stop. Let the silence sit. Notice what the other person says to fill it.
The more you say, the more ordinary you seem and the likelier you are to say something foolish. Short answers keep you in control.
The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down
Single Model
Haemin Sunim (translated by Chi-Young Kim and Haemin Sunim)
Not started
Check the state of my own mind before I decide that the world is too much.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Haemin Sunim opens the book with a question he puts to himself when everything around him seems to be moving too fast: is it the world that is busy, or is it my mind? His answer is that we do not meet the world directly. We know it only through the window of our own mind, so a hurried and noisy mind produces a hurried and noisy world, and when the mind rests, the world rests with it. He writes candidly that as a monk who was also a professor and a public figure, he kept a very full schedule, and came to see that the whirlwind was in his mind and not in the calendar. He adds that we also choose where to look. Out of everything that is happening we attend to a small part, and that part becomes our world for the moment. Likely to trip me up: some weeks really are overloaded, and no change of view will fix those. Note: Haemin Sunim is a Korean Zen monk, and the book is short essays and sayings, not research. In 2020 he stepped back from public life after criticism in South Korea about his lifestyle. (Source: The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, Ch. 1.)
Clock Time and Psychological Time (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): the rush is mostly in the head. Slow Down to Go Faster (Discipline Is Destiny, Ryan Holiday): an unhurried mind gets through more.
Mindset & Emotions
Is It the World, or My Mind?
Ch. 1, Rest, in the essay 'Why Am I So Busy?'. Page not verified (Penguin Books, 2017).
Manage stress / anxiety; Meditate / mindfulness; Be more productive / organised
12; 21; 13
Plan: Three times a day, when I feel rushed, I will stop for one minute, sit still, and ask if it is the world that is busy or my mind. I will note what I find, and rate my sense of hurry before and after.
busy mind, slowing down, hurry, perception, mindfulness, rest, overwhelm, attention, window of the mind, pace, calm, zen, schedule, pause, stress, rushing, inner state, noise, stillness, perspective
Everything feels too fast and too much. You blame your job, your city and your phone. Even on a free afternoon, the rushing feeling is still there.
When you next feel rushed, stop for one minute and ask: 'Is it the world that is busy, or is it my mind?' Sit still until you can tell.
We know the world only through our own mind. When the mind is rushed, the world feels rushed. Before blaming the world, check the mind.
The 48 Laws of Power
Single Model
Robert Greene
Not started
Stop trying to win people over by arguing, and show them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greene says that any victory you gain through argument is hollow. The person you out-argue rarely changes their mind. They feel attacked, resent you, and hold their view more firmly, and words can always be reinterpreted later. It is far better, he says, to demonstrate. His best-known example is a Renaissance sculptor finishing a giant statue. The city's chief official told him the nose was too large. The sculptor did not argue. He climbed the scaffold with a chisel and a handful of marble dust, tapped lightly without touching the nose, and let the dust fall. The official looked again and said it was much better. Nothing had changed, and nobody had been made to admit a mistake. Likely to trip me up: I enjoy being right out loud. Note: Greene is a writer who draws rules from chosen historical stories, some of them disputed, and his wider aim is power over others. The sculptor's trick was a deception, and I would not copy that part. The sound part is that a demonstration persuades better than a debate, which fits research on how people defend beliefs that come under attack. (Source: The 48 Laws of Power, Law 9.)
Put Yourself Out of Sight (Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, Walter Isaacson): let people reach the conclusion themselves. Built to Show, Built to Grow (Contagious, Jonah Berger): what people can see spreads further than what they are told.
People & Communication
Win Through Actions, Not Argument
Law 9, Win Through Your Actions, Never Through Argument. Each law is its own chapter. Page not verified (Viking, 1998).
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 17
Plan: The next time I disagree with someone about how to do something, I will not argue the point. I will build the smallest version that shows it, or run a quick test, and let them look at the result. I will note how they respond compared with past arguments.
demonstrate, show do not tell, arguing, persuasion, proof, prototype, resentment, winning arguments, debate, actions, results, saving face, evidence, test, colleagues, convincing, stubbornness, demonstration, influence, ego
You are sure you are right, so you argue until the other person gives up. They go quiet, they do not change, and they like you a little less.
Pick one disagreement you are in. Do not make your case again. Build, test or show a small example of your point, and let them look at it.
An argument you win leaves the loser resentful and unconvinced. Show it. A demonstration persuades, and nobody has to admit being wrong.
The Confidence Gap
Single Model
Russ Harris
Not started
Stop running a scoreboard on my own worth, and keep going after a failure.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harris argues that the usual advice to raise your self-esteem is a trap. Self-esteem means holding a high opinion of yourself, and that opinion has to be kept up. You must go on proving that you are good enough, comparing yourself with others, and arguing with your own mind whenever it points to a flaw. It is tiring, it makes people defensive, and it collapses at exactly the moment you need support: when you fail. His alternative, which he gives as one of the book's rules, is that self-acceptance trumps self-esteem. Self-acceptance does not mean approving of everything you do. It means dropping the habit of passing sentence on yourself as a whole person. 'I am a loser' and 'I am brilliant' are both only stories. You let them come and go, look honestly at what you did, and put your energy into what you do next. Likely to trip me up: I believe that judging myself harshly is what keeps my standards up. Note: Harris is a doctor and therapist. Independent reviews have found that high self-esteem does not produce better performance, and studies of self-compassion find that it helps people recover from failure. (Source: The Confidence Gap, Ch. 7 and Ch. 20.)
Be Kind to Yourself (Discipline Is Destiny, Ryan Holiday): high standards without self-punishment. The Trance of Unworthiness (Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach): the background feeling of never being enough.
Mindset & Emotions
Self-Acceptance Beats Self-Esteem
Part 2, Ch. 7, The Self-Esteem Trap (p. 89), and Part 5, Ch. 20, The Power of Self-Acceptance (p. 217). Pages from the Shambhala edition, 2011, contents listing.
Improve mental health / be happier; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Stop comparing / social-media envy
04; 27; 26
Plan: When I catch a verdict on myself, good or bad, I will label it 'a judgement' and let it pass, as I would any other thought. After a setback I will write what happened, what I can learn from it and the next step, with no adjectives about me as a person.
self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-worth, judgement, comparison, failure, inner scoreboard, defensiveness, self-compassion, verdicts, labels, proving yourself, fragile confidence, setbacks, stories about me, affirmations, rating yourself, resilience, letting go, worth
You try to feel good about yourself by listing your strengths and wins. It works until you fail. Then the same scoreboard turns against you.
Catch one verdict your mind passes on you today, good or bad. Say: 'That is a judgement.' Then ask only: what did I do, and what will I do next?
Self-esteem rests on judging yourself well, so it collapses when you fail. Self-acceptance drops the judging, and holds on bad days.
The Confidence Gap
Single Model
Russ Harris
Not started
Find out which of the five is actually behind my low confidence in one area, so that I work on the right thing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harris says that a lack of confidence is not a single thing, and that people treat it wrongly when they do not ask where it is coming from. He gives five common sources. Excessive expectations: the standard you have set yourself is perfection, so any real performance falls short. Harsh self-judgement: your mind runs you down before, during and after. Preoccupation with fear: your attention is taken up with what might go wrong. Lack of experience: you have simply not done the thing often enough for it to feel familiar. And lack of skill: you are not yet good at it, in which case low confidence is an accurate reading, and the answer is practice. He points out that the first three are problems with how you relate to your own mind, and that the last two are fixed only by doing the thing. Working on your mindset will not give you a skill you do not have. Likely to trip me up: I will blame my mindset when what I need is practice, or the other way round. Note: Harris is a doctor and therapist. The list is a practical way of sorting the problem, not a research finding. (Source: The Confidence Gap, Part 1.)
The Five Obstacles (Rich Dad Poor Dad, Robert T. Kiyosaki): another self-check for knowing what to do and not doing it. Healthy Striving, Not Perfectionism (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): the first cause, looked at more closely.
Mindset & Emotions
Five Causes of Low Confidence
Part 1, Warming Up (Ch. 1 to Ch. 3, pp. 13 to 48 in the Shambhala edition, 2011). I recall this from Ch. 2, The Good Old Days (p. 34), and have not verified the exact chapter. A published review confirms the five reasons.
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 17
Plan: For the one area where I most lack confidence, I will score each of the five causes from 0 to 10. I will act on the top one: lower the bar, soften the self-talk, make room for the fear, get more repetitions, or take lessons.
low confidence, causes, excessive expectations, self-judgement, fear, lack of experience, lack of skill, diagnosis, perfectionism, inner critic, practice, self-assessment, standards, beginners, accurate doubt, mindset, repetitions, skill gap, self-doubt, sorting the problem
You say, 'I am just not a confident person', and leave it there. You have never asked if the real problem is your standards, your self-talk, your fear, or simply a lack of practice.
Pick one area where you lack confidence. Score each of the five causes from 0 to 10. Whichever scores highest tells you what to work on.
Low confidence has five sources: excessive expectations, harsh self-judgement, preoccupation with fear, lack of experience, lack of skill.
The 48 Laws of Power
Single Model
Robert Greene
Not started
When I feel threatened or low, move towards people.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greene argues that when the world feels dangerous, the natural instinct is to retreat behind walls, and that this is a mistake. A fortress cuts you off from the information you most need, makes you an obvious target, and leaves you with no allies when trouble comes. He tells of the first emperor of China, who in his later years withdrew into a vast palace of connected halls and slept in a different room each night, out of fear of assassins. He lost touch with his empire, became dependent on a handful of courtiers, and died alone and far from his capital, where his ministers concealed his death. Greene sets against this a French king who built his palace so that the whole nobility lived around him and he was constantly in view, which meant that nothing could be plotted without his knowing. Greene allows that a short period of solitude can help you think, and warns that it is easy to stay too long. Likely to trip me up: withdrawing feels like protecting myself. Note: Greene draws rules from chosen historical stories, and his aim is power. Applying this to stress and low mood is my extension, and research on isolation and health supports it. (Source: The 48 Laws of Power, Law 18.)
Feeling Safe with Others (The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk): why contact steadies the body. Triangulate with Believable People (Principles, Ray Dalio): you need other people to see what you cannot.
Systems & Strategy
Isolation Is Dangerous
Law 18, Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself: Isolation Is Dangerous. Each law is its own chapter. Page not verified (Viking, 1998).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety
14; 04; 12
Plan: I will write down my early signs of withdrawing: cancelling plans, not replying, working alone for days. When I spot two of them, I will contact one person that day and keep one standing commitment that week, whatever I feel like.
isolation, withdrawal, fortress, loneliness, allies, information, stress, threat, retreat, hiding, support, working alone, connection, cut off, solitude, cancelling plans, vulnerability, mental health, circulation, network
Work goes badly, or you feel low, and you pull back. You cancel plans, stop replying and deal with it alone. You now know less, and you have less help.
Write down your three early signs of withdrawing. If any of them is true today, message one person now and fix a time to meet this week.
When threatened, the urge is to withdraw. Behind walls you lose information and allies, and become an easy target. Stay among people.
Designing Your Life
Single Model
Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
Not started
Get the lesson out of my failures without dwelling on all of them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors argue that if life is something you design as you go, and not a single outcome you either reach or miss, then failure is just raw material. They offer a short exercise in three steps. First, log your failures, recently or over a longer period. Second, sort them into three kinds. Screw-ups are simple mistakes in things you normally get right. There is nothing to learn from them, so acknowledge them and move on. Weaknesses are failures that come from a shortcoming you have known about for years. You may improve a little, and it is often wiser to arrange your life so as to avoid those situations than to keep fighting your own nature. Growth opportunities are the failures that did not have to happen, where the cause can be found and the fix is within reach. Third, put your attention only on that last group, and ask what went wrong, what the critical factor was, and what you would do differently next time. Likely to trip me up: I treat every failure as a judgement on me, and study none of them. Note: the authors are design teachers, and this is a practical exercise, not a research finding. (Source: Designing Your Life, Ch. 10.)
Pain + Reflection = Progress (Principles, Ray Dalio): failure only pays if you reflect on it. Failure Is an Event, Not an Identity (Mindset, Carol Dweck): it is something that happened, not what you are.
Learning & Knowledge
The Failure Reframe
Ch. 10, Failure Immunity. Page not verified (Alfred A. Knopf, 2016).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Journal / self-reflect; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 24; 17
Plan: Once a month I will list my recent failures and sort each into one of three columns: slip, weakness or growth opportunity. For the growth column only, I will write down what went wrong and the one thing I will do differently. Everything else I will let go.
failure reframe, failure log, screw-ups, weaknesses, growth opportunities, sorting, lessons, reflection, mistakes, move on, resilience, critical factor, do differently, monthly review, self-criticism, failure immunity, learning, triage, insight, process
Every failure gets the same treatment from you: a wave of shame, followed by trying to forget it. The silly slip and the real lesson are buried together.
List three recent failures. Label each as a slip, a weakness or a growth opportunity. For the growth one, write down what you will do differently next time.
Sort each failure into one of three kinds: a slip, a known weakness, or a chance to grow. Only the third needs study. Learn it and move on.
The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down
Single Model
Haemin Sunim (translated by Chi-Young Kim and Haemin Sunim)
Not started
Find the right distance in my closest relationships: near enough for warmth, with room to breathe.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Haemin Sunim compares a good relationship to sitting by a fireplace. If you sit too close, you get uncomfortably hot, and you may be burnt. If you sit too far away, you feel none of the warmth. His point is that even with the people we like best, staying pressed together for too long without any space leads to feeling trapped, irritated and taken for granted. When that happens the fault lies with the distance, and not with the other person or with the fire. He advises keeping some room for yourself and for the other person, and treating that space as part of caring for the relationship and not as a threat to it. He adds that someone who does not get enough time alone has little left to give when they are together. Likely to trip me up: I read a request for space as rejection, or I use 'space' as a way to avoid closeness. Note: Haemin Sunim is a Korean Zen monk, and this is a reflective essay, not research. The idea that couples need both closeness and independence is well supported in relationship studies. (Source: The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, Ch. 4.)
The Three Pillars of Adult Friendship (The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins): nearness matters, up to a point. Let Them, Let Me (The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins): room for the other person to be themselves.
People & Communication
The Fireplace Distance
Ch. 4, Relationships, in the essay 'The Art of Maintaining a Good Relationship'. Page not verified (Penguin Books, 2017).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: For my three closest relationships I will note where I am sitting too close, such as constant contact, checking up or doing everything together, and where I am too far away. I will adjust one thing in each, and review how it feels after a month.
fireplace, distance, closeness, space, relationships, smothering, independence, warmth, couples, family, friends, boundaries, time alone, irritation, balance, togetherness, clinginess, breathing room, intimacy, living together
You and someone you love do everything together, and small things have started to grate. You take the irritation to mean that something is wrong between you.
Think of the person you are closest to. Ask yourself: am I sitting too close to the fire, or too far from it? Change one thing this week.
A relationship is like sitting by a fire. Too close and you get burnt. Too far and you feel no warmth. Keep some space, even in love.
Designing Your Life
Single Model
Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
Not started
Test a big change cheaply before I bet on it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say that you cannot think your way into a new life, since you do not have the data. You have to build your way forward, as designers do, with prototypes: small, cheap experiments that answer one question each. They describe two kinds. A prototype conversation, which they call a life design interview, means finding someone who is doing what you are considering and asking for their story: how they got there, what a real day is like, what they love and what they hate. It is not a job interview, and you are not asking for anything. A prototype experience is a short taste of the real thing, such as shadowing someone for a day, a week of unpaid work, or a small project. They tell of a woman who dreamed for years of opening a small Italian café. She went straight to the full version, opened it, and found that she hated the daily business of running one. A few weeks of working in someone else's café would have told her the same thing. Likely to trip me up: researching online in place of talking to a person. Note: the authors are design teachers, and the method comes from their course and from product design, not from research. (Source: Designing Your Life, Ch. 6.)
Validated Learning (The Lean Startup, Eric Ries): test the assumption before you build the company. Mount the Machine (The Wright Brothers, David McCullough): many small, safe trials.
Decision-Making & Risk
Prototype Your Life
Ch. 6, Prototyping. Page not verified (Alfred A. Knopf, 2016).
Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus
17; 27; 07
Plan: For the change I am considering, I will have three conversations with people who are already living it, asking for their story and not for a job. I will then set up one short experience of it: a day of shadowing, a weekend project or a one-week trial. After that I will decide the next step.
prototyping, life design interview, experiments, career change, try before you commit, shadowing, informational interview, small bets, assumptions, big decisions, café dream, trial week, side project, data, test, fail cheaply, conversations, curiosity, build forward, low risk
You are considering a big leap: a new career, a business, a move. You either think about it for years, or you jump in fully and discover the reality afterwards.
Name one change you are considering. Find one person who already lives it, and ask for thirty minutes to hear their story. Ask what an ordinary day is really like.
Do not decide a big change by thinking. Test it small first: talk to people living that life, and try a short, cheap version of it.
The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down
Single Model
Haemin Sunim (translated by Chi-Young Kim and Haemin Sunim)
Not started
Pace what I give, whether teaching, advice or help, to what the other person can take in.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Haemin Sunim tells of his first year as a college professor in America. He was full of enthusiasm. He prepared far more material than a class could absorb, set heavy reading, and arranged extra activities and outings, sure that his students would love it as much as he did. They grew tired and resentful, and he was hurt. Looking back, he saw that his passion had been serving himself: his need to be a wonderful teacher. He had not once asked what the students needed, or how much they were able to take in alongside their other courses. He draws the general lesson that passion has to be tempered by attention to other people, and that when we push our eagerness onto others, however good our intentions, it lands on them as a burden. Likely to trip me up: my enthusiasm feels like generosity, so I do not think to question it. Note: Haemin Sunim is a Korean Zen monk, and this is a personal essay, not research. It fits with what is known about how much new material a learner can take in at once. (Source: The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, Ch. 3.)
The Curse of Knowledge (Made to Stick, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): you forget what it is like not to know. Task-Relevant Maturity (High Output Management, Andrew S. Grove): fit your approach to where the other person is.
People & Communication
Temper Your Eagerness
Ch. 3, Passion, in the essay 'Temper Your Eagerness'. Page not verified (Penguin Books, 2017).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 14; 17
Plan: Before I teach, present or help, I will ask what the other person wants from it and how much time and energy they have. I will plan to deliver about half of what I prepared, and check part-way through if the pace is right.
eagerness, enthusiasm, overloading, teaching, pacing, other people's capacity, good intentions, burden, new job, mentoring, parenting, helping, passion, humility, ask first, too much, zeal, listening, readiness, giving
You are new and keen. You give your team, your students or your child everything you have, all at once. They pull away, and you feel unappreciated.
Before you next teach or help someone, ask them: 'What would be most useful to you, and how much can you take in today?' Give that, and stop.
Your enthusiasm can overload the people it is meant to serve. Match your pace to what they can take in, not to how much you want to give.
Designing Your Life
Single Model
Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
Not started
Find out from evidence, and not from guesswork, which parts of my work and my week engage and energise me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say that when you do not know your destination, you need a direction and not a map, and that the best signs of direction are engagement and energy. Their tool is the Good Time Journal. For a few weeks, you log your activities and note two things for each. The first is how engaged you were, up to the point of being so absorbed that time disappeared. The second is what the activity did to your energy, since some things that you do well leave you drained, and some hard things leave you charged. Once a week you read back through the log and look for patterns and surprises. To get more out of an entry, they suggest looking at it more closely: what exactly was the activity, what was the setting, were you dealing with people or with things, and who else was there. They tell of an engineer who was sure he hated his job. His journal showed that he loved the hard engineering problems and hated only the administrative and people-management parts, which pointed to a very different next step. Likely to trip me up: trusting my overall impression over the daily entries. Note: the authors are design teachers, and the tool comes from their course. It borrows from research on flow. (Source: Designing Your Life, Ch. 3.)
The Flow Channel (Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi): what full absorption is, and what produces it. Know Thy Time (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): record where the time actually goes before you change anything.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Good Time Journal
Ch. 3, Wayfinding. Page not verified (Alfred A. Knopf, 2016).
Journal / self-reflect; Learn a skill / upskill; Improve mental health / be happier
24; 17; 04
Plan: For three weeks I will log my main activities each day, and score each one for how absorbed I was and for how it left my energy. At the end of each week I will look for patterns and zoom in on the highs and the lows: what I was doing, where, and with whom.
good time journal, engagement, energy, activity log, wayfinding, flow, career direction, self-knowledge, patterns, drained, energised, tracking, weekly review, job satisfaction, journaling, evidence, surprises, what I enjoy, direction, reflection
You feel that you hate your job, or you have no idea what you want. It is all one grey impression, so you cannot tell which parts to keep and which to change.
Tonight, list today's main activities. Beside each, score 0 to 10 for how absorbed you were, and mark whether it gave you energy or drained it. Do this for three weeks.
For three weeks, log what you do and rate each activity for engagement and energy. The pattern shows what to do more of, and less of.
The 48 Laws of Power
Single Model
Robert Greene
Not started
Recognise the pattern of a guru or a cult-like pitch before it has my money or my loyalty.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greene presents this as a method to use. I have written it as something to recognise. He says people have a desperate need to believe in something, and he describes how the charlatans of earlier centuries turned that need into followers and income. He sets it out in five steps. First, keep it vague and keep it simple: promise something great and transforming, and avoid details that could be checked. Second, put the visual and the sensual above the intellectual, with spectacle, colour and ceremony, so that people do not stop to think. Third, borrow the forms of organised religion: rituals, ranks, titles and sacrifices. Fourth, disguise your source of income, so that the followers' money never seems to be the point. Fifth, set up an us-against-them dynamic, with an enemy outside the group for everyone to blame. Likely to trip me up: when I am lost or lonely, vague hope and a sense of belonging are exactly what I want. Note: Greene draws rules from chosen historical stories, some of them disputed, and he writes to help the reader manipulate. The checklist use is mine. It overlaps with what researchers who study high-control groups describe. (Source: The 48 Laws of Power, Law 27.)
Social Proof (Influence, Robert Cialdini): a crowd of believers works as evidence on us. Follow the Funding (The Case Against Sugar, Gary Taubes): ask who is paid when you believe.
Biases & Blind Spots
How a Cult Following Is Built
Law 27, Play on People's Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following. Each law is its own chapter. Page not verified (Viking, 1998).
Build emergency fund / invest; Improve mental health / be happier; Cut phone / social-media use
20; 04; 06
Plan: Before I pay for a course, join a community or follow someone's method, I will score the pitch against the five signs. If I count three or more, I will wait thirty days and look for evidence from outside the group before I commit anything.
cult, guru, charlatan, vague promises, spectacle, ritual, hidden income, us versus them, belonging, online courses, influencers, manipulation, belief, followers, red flags, community, transformation, scam, checklist, critical thinking
A charismatic teacher or an online community promises a transformation. It feels like finally belonging. You pay, defend them against critics, and stop asking what exactly is being offered.
Take one guru, course or community you follow. Score it on the five signs: vague promise, spectacle, ritual and ranks, unclear income, an enemy. Count honestly.
Vague promises, spectacle over substance, borrowed ritual, hidden income and an enemy to blame. Learn the five signs so you can spot a guru.
The Untethered Soul
Single Model
Michael A. Singer
Not started
Catch the moment I shut down, and choose to stay open through it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Singer says that when something touches an old hurt, such as a careless remark, a slight or a reminder, there is a moment in which you can feel yourself start to close. The chest tightens, the warmth drains out, and you want to pull away or hit back. He calls this the tendency to close, and says it is a habit of self-protection that goes back a long way. It feels as though it simply happens to you. His claim is that it involves a choice, and that the choice comes round again every time: do I want to close, or do I want to stay open? His practice is to notice the first moment of tightening, relax the shoulders and the area around the heart, and let the disturbance pass through without following it. He says that each time you close, you keep the hurt stored for next time, and that staying open is how it finally leaves. Likely to trip me up: by the time I notice, I have usually already gone cold. Note: Singer is a meditation teacher, and his language of energy and the heart comes from yoga, not from science. Staying open does not mean staying in situations that are harmful. (Source: The Untethered Soul, Ch. 7.)
The Sacred Pause (Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach): stop before the reaction takes over. Surrender Is Not Resignation (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): yielding to the moment is not the same as giving up.
Mindset & Emotions
Do Not Close
Part 2, Experiencing Energy, Ch. 7, Transcending the Tendency to Close. Page not verified (New Harbinger Publications and Noetic Books, 2007).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve relationships / communicate; Meditate / mindfulness
12; 25; 21
Plan: I will learn my own signs of closing: a tight chest, a clenched jaw, going silent, reaching for my phone. When I catch one, I will drop my shoulders, breathe out, and stay in the conversation for one more minute before I decide what to do.
closing, shutting down, defensiveness, staying open, tight chest, triggers, hurt, withdrawal, going cold, relax, release, heart, reactivity, self-protection, choice, shoulders, conflict, letting pass, openness, habit
One remark from your partner or your boss, and something in you slams shut. You go cold or sharp, the evening is ruined, and it seemed to happen by itself.
Next time you feel yourself tighten in a conversation, drop your shoulders, breathe out slowly, and stay for one more minute before you react.
When something hurts or annoys you, you feel yourself shut. That closing is a habit and a choice. Notice it, relax, and stay open.
Designing Your Life
Single Model
Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
Not started
Stop spending energy on things I cannot act on, and find the problem next to them that I can.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors, who teach design at a California university, say people waste years working on the wrong problem. The worst kind they call a gravity problem. If a problem is not actionable, they say, it is not a problem at all. It is a situation, a circumstance, a fact of life, like gravity. You can complain that gravity makes cycling uphill hard, and nothing you do will change gravity. Their example is a poet who wants to earn a good living from poetry in a society that does not pay poets. They distinguish two kinds. Some are truly impossible to act on. Others could in theory be changed, but only with an effort so great, and with so little chance of success, that they are impossible in practice, such as single-handedly changing the culture of a large employer. The response to both is the same. Accept it, since acceptance is where all good design begins, and then reframe it into something you can work on. The cyclist buys a lighter bicycle, or takes a different route. Likely to trip me up: acceptance feels like giving up. Note: the authors are design teachers, and the book comes from their course, not from research. (Source: Designing Your Life, Ch. 1.)
Leave, Change or Accept (The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle): the only three real options. Let Them, Let Me (The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins): drop what is not yours to control, and do your own part.
Thinking & Reasoning
Gravity Problems
Ch. 1, Start Where You Are. Page not verified (Alfred A. Knopf, 2016).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety; Be more productive / organised
15; 12; 13
Plan: I will list what I am currently stuck on and mark each item as actionable or gravity. For every gravity item I will write one sentence accepting it, and then rewrite it as a problem I can work on, beginning with 'Given that ..., how might I ...?'
gravity problems, acceptance, actionable, reframing, stuck, circumstances, control, wrong problem, complaining, facts of life, how might I, design thinking, constraints, workplace culture, energy, realism, problem finding, rumination, letting go, next step
You have been stuck for years on something such as your industry's low pay, your boss's personality or your height. You call it your problem. There is nothing you can do about it.
Write down what you are most stuck on. Ask: can I take any action on this? If the answer is no, write 'This is gravity', and then: 'Given that, how might I ...?'
If you cannot act on it, it is not a problem. It is a circumstance, like gravity. Accept it, and find the part of it you can work on.
Designing Your Life
Single Model
Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
Not started
Take the pressure off finding the one right path by sketching three good ones.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say that one of the beliefs that keeps people stuck is that there is a single best version of their life, and that they must work out which it is. They insist that each of us has many good lives in us. Their exercise is to sketch three alternative five-year plans, which they call Odyssey Plans. The first is the life you are already living, or the idea you already have. The second is what you would do if the first were suddenly gone. The third is what you would do if money and image were no object. Each plan gets a visual timeline, a six-word title, two or three questions that it raises, and a quick rating on four gauges: whether you have the resources for it, how much you like it, how confident you are that you could do it, and how well it fits with your values. They advise presenting the three to a few supportive people, who are asked to listen and reflect and not to criticise. Likely to trip me up: making the second and third plans mere variations on the first. Note: the authors are design teachers, and the exercise comes from their course. They report that doctoral studies of the course found that students became better at generating career options. (Source: Designing Your Life, Ch. 5.)
The Passion Hypothesis (So Good They Can't Ignore You, Cal Newport): there is no single true calling waiting to be found. Maximizers and Satisficers (The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz): hunting for the one best option makes people miserable.
Decision-Making & Risk
Odyssey Plans
Ch. 5, Design Your Lives. Page not verified (Alfred A. Knopf, 2016).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill; Stop overthinking / rumination
27; 17; 15
Plan: I will set aside two hours and draw three five-year timelines: my current path, what I would do if that path disappeared, and what I would do if money and other people's opinions did not count. I will give each a six-word title, and share all three with two people I trust.
odyssey plans, three lives, five-year plan, alternatives, career change, one true path, options, life design, timeline, six-word title, what if, money no object, plan b, possibility, stuck, future, brainstorming, choosing, gauges, multiple paths
You believe that there is one right life for you, and that you have to work out which it is before you move. The pressure of that keeps you where you are.
Draw three five-year timelines: your current path, the path you would take if that one vanished, and the path you would take if money and image did not matter.
Sketch three different five-year versions of your life. There is no single right one. Having several good options frees you to choose well.
The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down
Single Model
Haemin Sunim (translated by Chi-Young Kim and Haemin Sunim)
Not started
Let a hard feeling pass through without fighting it and without feeding it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Haemin Sunim says our usual responses to a painful emotion are to push it away or to be carried off by it, and that both of these keep it going. He compares the mind to a jar of muddy water. The more you stir it, the murkier it gets. Leave it alone and the mud settles. His instruction is to stop wrestling with the feeling, and quietly watch it. Set aside the label, such as 'anger', and the story about whose fault it is. What remains is raw energy in the body: heat, tightness, a quickened pulse. If you watch that energy with some curiosity, you find that it is not solid. It shifts, fades and leaves without your doing anything, and you come to see that you are the one watching and not the feeling itself. Likely to trip me up: the story is far more gripping than the sensation. Note: Haemin Sunim is a Korean Zen monk, and this is traditional meditation advice, not research, though it matches what mindfulness-based therapies teach. It is for ordinary emotions. Feelings that are overwhelming, or linked to trauma, call for professional help. (Source: The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, Ch. 2.)
Invite Mara to Tea (Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach): greet the feeling and do not fight it. The Struggle Switch (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): struggling with an emotion makes it louder.
Mindset & Emotions
Befriend Your Emotions
Ch. 2, Mindfulness, in the essay 'Befriend Your Emotions'. Page not verified (Penguin Books, 2017).
Meditate / mindfulness; Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier
21; 12; 04
Plan: When anger, envy or anxiety comes up, I will sit for three minutes. I will drop the word for it and the story about who caused it, find where it sits in my body, and watch how it changes. I will write one line afterwards.
emotions, observe, muddy water, anger, anxiety, labels, raw energy, body sensations, mindfulness, letting be, acceptance, watching, story, settle, impermanence, meditation, befriend, reactivity, calm, awareness
A wave of anger or anxiety comes. You either try to force it down or replay the story behind it for hours. Both ways, it stays.
Next time a strong feeling comes, sit for three minutes. Drop its name and its story. Find where it is in your body, and just watch it move.
Do not fight a hard feeling or feed it with a story. Watch the raw feeling in the body, like muddy water left to settle, and it changes.
The 48 Laws of Power
Single Model
Robert Greene
Not started
Keep my guard up after a generous first gesture, and judge people and offers by the whole pattern.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greene presents this as a tactic to use. I have written it as something to recognise. His claim is that one sincere and honest move covers over dozens of dishonest ones, since an act of honesty or generosity brings down the guard of even the most suspicious person. His main story is of a con man in 1920s Chicago who asked a notorious gangster for fifty thousand dollars, promising to double it in two months. He put the money in a safe, did nothing at all, and brought every dollar back, with an apology that the scheme had failed. The gangster had been expecting a trick. He was so struck by this honesty that he handed the man five thousand dollars, which had been the aim from the beginning. Greene also points to the wooden horse left as a gift outside Troy. Likely to trip me up: the gesture is real, so the trust I feel seems earned. Note: Greene draws rules from chosen historical stories, some of them disputed, and he writes to help the reader manipulate. The defence is mine. It matches the way investment frauds pay their early investors promptly. (Source: The 48 Laws of Power, Law 12.)
Reciprocation (Influence, Robert Cialdini): a gift creates a pull to give back. Default to Truth (Talking to Strangers, Malcolm Gladwell): we assume honesty until the doubts pile too high.
Biases & Blind Spots
Beware Selective Honesty
Law 12, Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm Your Victim. Each law is its own chapter. Page not verified (Viking, 1998).
Build emergency fund / invest; Reduce debt / control spending; Improve relationships / communicate
20; 22; 25
Plan: Whenever money or a commitment is involved, I will treat an early gift, a refund or a show of honesty as the start of my checking and not the end of it. I will write down what I would verify if the gesture had never happened, and then verify it.
selective honesty, con artists, scams, gifts, trust, disarm, first gesture, fraud, ponzi, early returns, generosity, manipulation, guard down, verification, investment scam, free trial, reciprocity, too good to be true, trojan horse, due diligence
Someone returns your money promptly, admits a small fault, or gives you something for nothing. You decide they can be trusted, and you stop checking.
Think of one person or scheme you trust mainly because of an early kindness. Write down what you would check if that gesture had never happened. Check one item.
One honest act or gift lowers your guard for everything that follows. Con artists know this. Judge the whole pattern, not the first gesture.
The Confidence Gap
Single Model
Russ Harris
Not started
Perform better under pressure by bringing my attention back to the task each time it wanders to me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harris's last rule is that the key to peak performance is total engagement in the task. He points out that top performers in sport, on stage and in exams often feel a great deal of fear, so fear cannot be the thing that ruins a performance. What ruins it is where the attention goes. When the mind starts commenting on how you are doing, predicting failure or checking on your own nerves, and your attention follows it, you are no longer fully attending to the task. That is what is happening when people choke. His remedy is not to get rid of the thoughts and feelings. It is to let them be there in the background, like a radio left on in another room, and to keep bringing your attention back to what you can see, hear and do in the task itself, as many times as it takes. He treats this as a skill that can be trained through mindfulness practice. Likely to trip me up: monitoring myself feels like being careful. Note: Harris is a doctor and therapist. The point agrees with sport psychology research, which links choking under pressure to attention turning inwards. (Source: The Confidence Gap, Ch. 22.)
Attention Is Psychic Energy (Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi): performance follows attention. Say 'I Am Excited' (The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins): the fear can stay while you get on with the task.
Productivity & Focus
Engage in the Task
Part 5, Playing the Game, Ch. 22, Reach the Peak. Starts on p. 235 (Shambhala edition, 2011, from the contents listing).
Manage stress / anxiety; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Limit multitasking / context-switching
12; 27; 28
Plan: Before anything where I perform, such as a recording or a presentation, I will pick two things in the task to anchor my attention on, for example the listener's face and my next point. Each time I notice that I am watching myself, I will return to the anchors. I will count the returns.
task focus, engagement, performance, choking, attention, self-monitoring, nerves, public speaking, recording, exams, sport, mindfulness, anchors, background noise, fear, present moment, pressure, distraction, returning attention, peak performance
Halfway through a talk or a recording you begin to watch yourself: how you sound, what they are thinking, how nervous you are. At that point you lose your thread.
Before your next performance, choose two things in the task to anchor on. Each time you catch yourself watching yourself, go back to them. Count how many times you return.
Performance suffers when attention goes to your own thoughts and nerves. Fear is not the problem. Bring your attention back to the task.
The Confidence Gap
Single Model
Russ Harris
Not started
Stop waiting to feel confident, and begin doing the things a confident person does.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harris names a trap that he calls the confidence gap. It is the belief that you cannot do the things that matter to you until you first feel confident. People caught in it wait, and the feeling never arrives, since nothing is happening that could produce it. He separates two meanings of the word. One is a feeling of certainty. The other, which is older, is an act of trust or reliance: relying on yourself to do something, however you feel. His first rule follows from this. The actions of confidence come first, and the feelings of confidence come later. You do the thing while nervous and unsure, again and again, and the feeling of confidence is a by-product of having done it. He adds that genuine confidence is not the absence of fear. It is a changed relationship with fear. Likely to trip me up: waiting feels sensible, as though I were getting ready. Note: Harris is a doctor and therapist who teaches acceptance and commitment therapy, which has been tested in many trials. The book applies it to confidence, and has not itself been tested. (Source: The Confidence Gap, Ch. 1.)
Everyday Courage (The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins): confidence is built from small acts of doing it anyway. Action Comes Before Motivation (Feeling Good, David D. Burns): the same order of events, for motivation.
Mindset & Emotions
The Confidence Gap
Part 1, Warming Up, Ch. 1, Why Bother? (p. 13), where the gap is defined. I recall the first rule being stated in Ch. 3, True or False? (p. 40), and have not verified that. Pages from the Shambhala edition, 2011, contents listing.
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus; Improve relationships / communicate
27; 07; 25
Plan: I will list three things I am putting off 'until I feel more confident'. For each I will write the smallest act of reliance I can take this week, while feeling whatever I feel. I will rate my confidence before and after ten repetitions, not before the first.
confidence gap, waiting to feel ready, action first, self-doubt, fear, reliance, trust in yourself, nervous, avoidance, public speaking, applying, asking, feelings follow, courage, practice, shyness, certainty, act anyway, hesitation, trap
You will speak up, apply, ask them out or start the channel once you feel confident. Months pass. The feeling does not come, and nothing changes.
Finish this sentence: 'If I had all the confidence in the world, I would ...'. Then do the smallest version of it today, while feeling exactly as you do now.
Waiting to feel confident before you act is the trap. The actions of confidence come first. The feelings of confidence come later.
The Untethered Soul
Single Model
Michael A. Singer
Not started
See how much of my life is arranged around one sore spot, and start dealing with the spot itself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Singer asks you to imagine a thorn stuck deep in your arm, pressing on a nerve. Any touch is agony. You have two options. The first is to make sure that nothing ever touches it. You stop sleeping on that side, keep people at a distance, avoid crowds, and perhaps build a device to shield it. Before long, where you go, who you see and how you live are all organised around the thorn, and you call this solving the problem. The second option is to take the thorn out. He says our inner sore spots work the same way. If loneliness, rejection or a sense of not being good enough is your thorn, you can spend your life arranging relationships and avoiding situations so that it is never touched. Or you can let it be touched, feel it, and let it go, so that there is nothing left to protect. Likely to trip me up: avoidance works well in the short run. Note: Singer is a meditation teacher, not a clinician. The parable matches what therapists know about avoidance, which keeps a fear alive. Deep or traumatic hurts are better faced with professional help. (Source: The Untethered Soul, Ch. 9.)
The Struggle Is the Trap (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): a life built on avoiding a feeling gets smaller. Lead Bullets (The Hard Thing About Hard Things, Ben Horowitz): go at the real problem, and stop working around it.
Mindset & Emotions
Remove the Thorn
Part 3, Freeing Yourself, Ch. 9, Removing Your Inner Thorn. Page not verified (New Harbinger Publications and Noetic Books, 2007).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety; Improve relationships / communicate
27; 12; 25
Plan: I will name one sensitivity, such as fear of rejection, and list everything I do to avoid touching it: jobs I did not apply for, things I never post, people I keep at a distance. Each week I will deliberately do one small thing on that list, and stay with the discomfort.
inner thorn, avoidance, sore spot, sensitivity, rejection, loneliness, protection, workaround, facing it, fear, triggers, life shrinking, root cause, insecurity, exposure, discomfort, letting go, coping, relationships, freedom
You do not apply, do not post, do not ask and do not get close, all so that one old fear is never touched. You call it your personality.
Name one sore spot. List five things you do, or avoid, in order to keep it from being touched. Pick the smallest, and do the opposite once this week.
A sore spot can be handled in two ways: arrange your whole life so that nothing touches it, or take it out. The first never ends.
The 5 Second Rule
Single Model
Mel Robbins
Not started
Treat my procrastination as a sign of stress and not as a flaw in my character, so that I get started sooner.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robbins separates two kinds of putting things off. One kind is deliberate: stepping away from a creative project so that the mind can go on working at it, which she says is useful. The other kind is destructive: avoiding work that you know has to be done, and knowing that you will pay for it. Drawing on a Canadian psychologist who has studied the subject for many years, she says that the destructive kind is not laziness, and is not bad time management. It is a way of getting relief from stress, and often the stress is about something else entirely, such as money or a relationship. Avoiding the task, and doing something pleasant in its place, gives a small and quick lift in mood, and so the habit gets rewarded. Calling yourself lazy adds more stress, which feeds the very thing that drives the habit. She gives three steps. First, forgive yourself for having put it off. Second, picture the person you want to become, and ask what that person would do now. She cites studies in which people who were shown digitally aged pictures of themselves chose to save more for retirement. Third, count down and begin, for a few minutes only, since the researcher's main advice is simply to get started. Likely to trip me up: treating forgiveness as permission to go on avoiding. Note: Robbins is a speaker, not a researcher, and no study has tested her countdown. The research behind this chapter is published and fairly solid. Studies link procrastination to the repair of mood, and one study of students found that those who forgave themselves for delaying their revision procrastinated less before the next exam. The aged-picture studies mostly measured choices made in a laboratory. (Source: The 5 Second Rule, Ch. 11.)
The What-the-Hell Effect (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): guilt over a slip leads to more slipping, in the same way. Hiding Places and Noble Obstacles (Finish, Jon Acuff): the pleasant task you escape into.
Productivity & Focus
Procrastination Is Stress Relief
Part 3, Ch. 11, End Procrastination. Page not verified (Savio Republic, 2017).
Beat procrastination / focus; Manage stress / anxiety; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
07; 12; 27
Plan: When I catch myself avoiding a task, I will write one line about what I am actually stressed about. I will tell myself that I forgive the delay, ask what the person I want to be in a year would do now, and then count down and work for five minutes only. I will log how often the five minutes turns into more.
procrastination, stress relief, mood repair, avoidance, self-forgiveness, guilt, laziness myth, future self, getting started, five minutes, countdown, emotions, shame, putting things off, deadlines, dreaded tasks, self-compassion, distraction, study habits, just start
A report is due, and you are tidying your desk, scrolling and making tea. Then you call yourself lazy, feel worse, and avoid the report for another day.
Pick the task you are avoiding. Say, 'I forgive myself for putting this off.' Ask what the future you would do now. Then work on it for five minutes.
We put things off to escape stress, not from laziness. Guilt adds more stress and feeds the habit. Forgive yourself, then start small.
Let's Talk Money
Single Model
Monika Halan
Not started
Have six months of living costs set aside, so that a shock does not force me into debt or into selling investments at a bad time.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Halan puts the emergency fund before any investing. She compares it to a seat belt: you hope you never need it, and you still do not drive without it. Its purpose is to cover the loss of a job, a medical bill or a family crisis, so that you are not forced to borrow at high interest or to sell long-term investments when prices are down. Her rule of thumb is about six months of living expenses. She suggests more if you are the only earner, have dependants, or work in an unstable field. In the updated edition she writes that the pandemic led her to raise her own fund to around two years of costs. The money should be kept apart from daily spending, be safe, and be easy to reach, which means a deposit or a similarly safe product and not shares. She suggests building it with a fixed monthly transfer. Likely to trip me up: dipping into it for things that are not emergencies. Note: Halan is a personal finance editor and a certified financial planner. Almost every financial planner gives this advice. The products she names are Indian and may have changed. This is general education, not financial advice. (Source: Let's Talk Money, Ch. 3.)
Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): the buffer is what keeps you in the game. Plan Your Money or Worry About It (The Millionaire Next Door, Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko): a plan takes the place of background fear.
Decision-Making & Risk
Emergencies Need a Fund
Ch. 3, Emergencies Need a Fund. Page not verified (HarperCollins India, 2018; a third edition came out in December 2024).
Build emergency fund / invest; Save money / spend less; Manage stress / anxiety
20; 03; 12
Plan: I will work out my essential monthly costs, multiply by six, and open a separate account or deposit for that sum alone. A fixed amount will go into it every month until it is full. After that I will only top it up when my costs rise.
emergency fund, six months, living expenses, buffer, job loss, medical bill, safety net, fixed deposit, liquidity, debt avoidance, seat belt, separate account, shocks, security, peace of mind, monthly transfer, single income, dependants, india, first step
All your spare money is invested, or spent. Then a job is lost, or someone falls ill, and the only ways out are a credit card or selling at a loss.
Add up your essential costs for one month and multiply by six. That is your target. Open a separate account for it, and set a monthly transfer.
Keep about six months of living costs in a separate, safe, easy-to-reach place before you invest. It stops a shock from becoming a debt.
The Let Them Theory
Single Model
Mel Robbins (with Sawyer Robbins)
Not started
Do the things I have been putting off for fear of what people will think.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robbins argues that fear of other people's opinions runs far more of our lives than we admit. We rehearse what they will think, edit ourselves, and put off the things we want to do. Her point is blunt. People will have negative thoughts about you whatever you do, and you cannot control a single one of them. Trying to manage your image in other people's heads is tiring, and it cannot succeed. So let them think what they think. She suggests choosing on purpose whose opinion you will take into account, which should be a very short list, and asking if you would be proud of the choice yourself. Likely to trip me up: treating everyone's imagined opinion as though it carried equal weight. Note: Robbins is a speaker and podcaster, and the book is not research. The point is an old one in philosophy and in therapy. A poet, Cassie Phillips, published a widely shared poem called 'Let Them' in 2022, and she and others say the book does not credit her. This is not a licence to ignore fair criticism from people who know you well. (Source: The Let Them Theory, Ch. 5.)
Man in the Car Paradox (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): others think about you far less than you imagine. Defusion (Thoughts Are Just Words) (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): 'they will judge me' is a thought, not a fact.
Mindset & Emotions
Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You
Ch. 5, Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You. Chapter titles confirmed from independent summaries, not from the publisher's contents page. Page not verified (Hay House, 2024).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Improve mental health / be happier; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
26; 04; 27
Plan: I will list three things I am not doing for fear of being judged: posting my work, speaking up, changing direction. For each I will write whose opinion I am afraid of. I will then do the smallest one this week, and notice what actually happens.
opinions, judgement, fear of criticism, people pleasing, approval, posting online, self-censorship, what will people think, reputation, embarrassment, values, courage, visibility, shame, social anxiety, critics, starting, own standards, permission, imagined audience
You want to post the video, change career or say no. You picture what relatives, colleagues and strangers will say, and you do nothing.
Write down one thing you are not doing for fear of being judged. Name whose opinion you fear. Ask yourself: would I be proud of doing it anyway?
People will judge you whatever you do. You cannot manage their opinions. Act by your own values, and let them think what they think.
The Artist's Way
Single Model
Julia Cameron
Not started
Empty my head onto paper first thing, so that worries and chatter do not run the day.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cameron's first tool is three pages of longhand writing every morning, about whatever comes into your head. She insists there is no wrong way to do them. They are not meant to be art, or even proper writing. They can be petty, whiny or dull, and nobody else is to read them. She advises not rereading them yourself for the first weeks. Her claim is that the pages get the worries, complaints and to-do lists out of the way, quieten the inner critic she calls the Censor, and leave the mind clearer for the rest of the day. She treats them as non-negotiable, and says most people resist them. Likely to trip me up: trying to write well, or skipping a day and deciding the chain is broken. Note: Cameron is a working artist and teacher, and the book has a spiritual framing. Nobody has tested Morning Pages in a trial. The nearest research is on expressive writing, which studied writing about specific upsetting events, and a large review found its average benefit to be real and small. (Source: The Artist's Way, The Basic Tools.)
Write to Make Sense of It (The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt): the research on writing about what troubles you. A Plan Quiets the Nag (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): why getting it onto paper quietens it.
Creativity & Ideas
Morning Pages
The Basic Tools, the section that comes before Week 1. Page not verified (first published by Tarcher/Putnam, 1992; the structure is the same in the later anniversary editions).
Journal / self-reflect; Meditate / mindfulness; Stop overthinking / rumination
24; 21; 15
Plan: For four weeks I will write three pages by hand as soon as I get up, before my phone. I will not reread them or show them to anyone. Each week I will rate my mental noise and how easily I start real work.
morning pages, longhand, journaling, brain dump, three pages, stream of consciousness, inner critic, censor, creativity, clarity, mental noise, morning routine, writing, worries, daily practice, unblocking, private, handwriting, self-reflection, clearing the mind
You sit down to make something and your head is full of worries, errands and a voice telling you it will be no good. The noise wins.
Tomorrow morning, before your phone, write three pages by hand about whatever is in your head. Do not reread them. Close the notebook.
Write three pages by hand every morning, about anything at all. Nobody reads them. They drain the mind's noise so the real work can start.
Let's Talk Money
Single Model
Monika Halan
Not started
Never again buy a financial product that I cannot explain in five plain answers.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Halan argues that the industry's jargon mainly serves the seller. Her defence is a short list of questions to put to any product before you buy it. What does it cost: to get in, to stay in each year, and to get out? What return can it realistically give, and what should that be compared with? Is there a lock-in, a period when you cannot take your money out? How long do you need to hold it for it to make sense? And how are the gains taxed? A good product gives clear answers to all five. If the answers are vague, buried in the small print, or met with 'do not worry about that', she says to walk away. The same questions let you compare very different products on equal terms. Likely to trip me up: asking only about the return, which is the one thing nobody can promise. Note: Halan is a personal finance editor and a certified financial planner. The method carries over to any country. The tax answers change with each budget: India has changed its tax rules for shares, debt funds and some insurance products several times since 2018, so the book's figures should be checked. This is general education, not financial advice. (Source: Let's Talk Money, Ch. 7.)
Take Advice Only From Those Who Know (The Richest Man in Babylon, George S. Clason): check who is advising you, and what they gain. Follow the Funding (The Case Against Sugar, Gary Taubes): ask who is paid when you say yes.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Product Checklist
Ch. 7, Let's De-Jargon Investing. Its exact place within the investing chapters (Ch. 6 to Ch. 9) is not fully verified. Page not verified (HarperCollins India, 2018; a third edition came out in December 2024).
Build emergency fund / invest; Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less
20; 22; 03
Plan: I will keep the five questions as a note on my phone. Before I buy or renew anything financial, I will write down the five answers in my own words. If I cannot answer any one of them, I will not buy that day.
product checklist, costs, returns, lock-in, holding period, tax, jargon, mis-selling, questions, comparing products, fees, exit load, small print, due diligence, agents, mutual funds, deposits, transparency, walk away, investing basics
A bank officer or a friend recommends a product with an impressive name and an impressive return. You do not really understand it, and you sign anyway.
Take one financial product you already own. Write down its cost, realistic return, lock-in, sensible holding period and tax treatment. Mark any answer you cannot find.
Before buying any financial product, ask five things: its cost, its likely return, the lock-in, how long to hold it, and how it is taxed.
Rich Dad Poor Dad
Single Model
Robert T. Kiyosaki (early editions with Sharon L. Lechter)
Not started
Keep my job and build something of my own beside it, month by month.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kiyosaki separates your profession from your business. Your profession is your job, and he says it mostly builds someone else's wealth. Your business is your own column of assets. He points to a famous fast-food chain and says its real business was the land under its restaurants. His advice is not to quit. It is to keep the day job, keep expenses low, and steadily buy or build assets on the side. Luxuries come last, and are bought only with money the assets have produced, so that the treat does not eat the thing that pays for it. He admits that the asset column grows slowly at first and that this takes years of discipline. Likely to trip me up: rewarding myself early out of salary, before anything I own is paying me. Note: Kiyosaki presents the book as a true story, and reporters have found no evidence that his 'rich dad' existed. Critics call much of his specific advice risky. The order he suggests here, assets first and luxuries last, is ordinary good sense. This is not financial advice. (Source: Rich Dad Poor Dad, Lesson 3.)
The Crossover Point (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): the day asset income covers your costs. Pay Yourself First (The Richest Man in Babylon, George S. Clason): the asset column gets paid before anything else.
Systems & Strategy
Mind Your Own Business
Lesson 3, Mind Your Own Business. This is Chapter Three in the current Plata Publishing edition and Chapter Four in the older Warner edition. Page not verified.
Build emergency fund / invest; Save money / spend less; Learn a skill / upskill
20; 03; 17
Plan: I will keep my job as my income. Each month a fixed share of it will go into things that can pay me later: investments and my own side project. Any treat or upgrade has to wait until that side has paid for it.
asset column, side project, day job, own business, investing, luxuries last, discipline, profession, employer, building wealth, side income, patience, delayed gratification, ownership, channel, monthly investing, low expenses, independence, slow growth, priorities
All your effort goes into your employer's business, and all your pay goes into living. Years pass and you own nothing that works for you.
Write down what you own that could pay you one day: investments, a skill, a side project. Pick one and set a fixed monthly amount of money or hours for it.
Your job pays the bills. Your real business is the assets you build beside it. Keep the job. Buy luxuries last, from what the assets earn.
The Let Them Theory
Single Model
Mel Robbins (with Sawyer Robbins)
Not started
Stop spending energy on what other people do, and put it into my own next move.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robbins says the tool has two halves, and that most people use only the first. 'Let them' means you stop trying to control what other people think, say, feel or do, since you cannot. 'Let me' is where your power lies: you decide what you will do, in line with your own values. She warns that stopping at the first half leaves you feeling superior, shut off and alone. She tells how the phrase came to her at her son's school dance. She was fussing over the teenagers' plans, and her daughter told her to let them do what they wanted. Likely to trip me up: using 'let them' to avoid a conversation that I really do need to have. Note: Robbins is a speaker and podcaster, and the book is not research. The idea restates the old Stoic rule about what is and is not in your control, and the acceptance taught in modern therapy. A poet, Cassie Phillips, published a widely shared poem called 'Let Them' in 2022, and she and others say the book does not credit her. Robbins describes the idea as old wisdom. Therapists also warn that it is the wrong tool where someone is unsafe or being mistreated. (Source: The Let Them Theory, Ch. 2.)
Tolerant with Others, Strict with Yourself (Discipline Is Destiny, Ryan Holiday): the same split, from the Stoics. The Struggle Switch (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): stop fighting what you cannot change.
Mindset & Emotions
Let Them, Let Me
Ch. 2, Getting Started: Let Them + Let Me. Chapter titles confirmed from independent summaries and a published reading guide, not from the publisher's contents page. Page not verified (Hay House, 2024).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve relationships / communicate
12; 15; 25
Plan: When I catch myself stewing over someone's behaviour, I will say 'let them', and then finish the sentence 'let me ...' with one action of my own. I will log each use for two weeks, and note where I only managed the first half.
let them, let me, control, acceptance, other people, detachment, responsibility, boundaries, stoic, reactions, opinions, stress, overthinking, relationships, letting go, my next move, values, resentment, frustration, circle of control
A friend does not invite you, a colleague ignores your idea, a relative makes a bad choice. You spend days upset, trying to work out how to change them.
Next time someone's behaviour winds you up, say 'let them'. Then finish this sentence with one thing you will do: 'Let me ...'.
You cannot control what others think, feel or do. Let them. Then turn to the part that is yours, and ask what you will do next. Let me.
The 5 Second Rule
Single Model
Mel Robbins
Not started
Build confidence by collecting small brave acts, since waiting to feel confident has not worked.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robbins argues that courage is not reserved for heroes. Most of it is ordinary, and lasts about five seconds: raising your hand, saying what you think, introducing yourself, pressing 'publish'. She tells of a bus passenger in the American South who, in a single moment, refused to give up her seat, and points out that the woman herself described it as a decision made on the spot and not planned. Robbins's point is that lives change through such small moments, and that anyone can have them. In a later chapter she turns the usual order round. Confidence is not a personality trait that you need before you act. It is a skill, built from the memory of having acted while afraid. Each small act is evidence that you can count on yourself. Likely to trip me up: waiting for a big moment, and discounting the small ones. Note: Robbins is a speaker, not a researcher, and her use of a famous historical moment is an illustration and nothing more. The claim that confidence follows action matches decades of research on self-belief, which finds that small successes are its strongest source. (Source: The 5 Second Rule, Ch. 5 and Ch. 15.)
Fear Rides in the Back Seat (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): the fear comes along, and it does not get to steer. Mount the Machine (The Wright Brothers, David McCullough): you learn by getting on, not by watching.
Mindset & Emotions
Everyday Courage
Part 2, Ch. 5, Everyday Courage, and Part 5, Ch. 15, Building Real Confidence. Page not verified (Savio Republic, 2017).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 25; 17
Plan: Each day for thirty days I will do one small act that takes a little courage: ask a question in a meeting, publish something, start a conversation. I will write each one down, and reread the list once a week.
everyday courage, confidence, small acts, speaking up, self-trust, fear, action first, raising your hand, publishing, shyness, evidence, self-belief, bravery, introducing yourself, mastery, daily practice, waiting to feel ready, moments, hesitation, growth
You are waiting until you feel confident enough to speak up, publish or apply. The feeling never comes, since it is made by the acts you are putting off.
Do one small thing today that takes five seconds of courage: ask the question, send the message, or say what you think. Write it down tonight.
Courage is mostly small: speaking up, starting, asking. Confidence does not come first. It is built from many small acts of doing it anyway.
Rich Dad Poor Dad
Single Model
Robert T. Kiyosaki (early editions with Sharon L. Lechter)
Not started
Notice when fear or desire is making a money decision for me, and pause before I act on it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kiyosaki describes a loop that he calls the rat race. People get up, go to work, pay the bills, and do the same again. He says two emotions drive it. Fear of being without money pushes people to work harder. Then, once the pay arrives, desire makes them spend it, which brings the fear back. A pay rise does not end the loop, since spending rises to meet it. In his story, a rich man he worked for as a boy paid him almost nothing, and then nothing at all, until he grew angry enough to stop and think about money differently. His advice is to notice the emotion behind a money decision and not let it decide for you. Likely to trip me up: both emotions feel like good sense at the time. Note: Kiyosaki presents the book as a true story. Reporters have found no evidence that his 'rich dad' existed, and when pressed he has compared him to a character from fiction. Critics call much of his specific advice wrong or risky, and one of his companies went bankrupt in 2012. I have kept to the general idea. This is not financial advice. (Source: Rich Dad Poor Dad, Lesson 1.)
Expenses Rise to Meet Income (The Richest Man in Babylon, George S. Clason): the same wheel, described in the 1920s. The Luxury Trap (Sapiens, Yuval Noah Harari): each comfort becomes a need.
Mindset & Emotions
The Rat Race
Lesson 1, The Rich Don't Work for Money. This is Chapter One in the current Plata Publishing edition and Chapter Two in the older Warner edition. Page not verified.
Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less; Manage stress / anxiety
22; 03; 12
Plan: For one month, before any purchase above a set amount and before any job decision, I will write one line: is this fear, desire, or a reasoned choice? I will review the list at the end of the month and count how many were fear or desire.
rat race, fear, greed, desire, salary, pay rise, spending, bills, treadmill, paycheck, money emotions, lifestyle creep, job security, impulse, debt, wage trap, working for money, financial stress, loop, awareness
You earn more every year and feel no safer. Each rise is spent before it arrives, and fear of losing the job keeps you from changing anything.
Look at your last three large purchases. Beside each, write the feeling that drove it: fear, desire, or a reasoned choice.
Fear of being without money makes you work. Desire makes you spend what you earn. Together they keep you on a wheel that no pay rise stops.
The Let Them Theory
Single Model
Mel Robbins (with Sawyer Robbins)
Not started
Stop taking fading friendships personally, and start building new ones on purpose.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robbins says nobody tells us that friendship changes after our early twenties. As children and students we are put into groups of people the same age who do the same things at the same time, and friendship happens without effort. After that, everyone scatters. She names three things that adult friendship depends on. Proximity: how often you are physically near each other. Timing: whether you are at the same stage of life. Energy: whether the two of you still click. When any of these changes, through a move, a baby or a new job, friendships fade, and she says it is rarely personal. 'Let them' covers the drifting and the invitations that did not come. 'Let me' is the work. Adult friendship does not happen by itself, so you have to be the one who goes first, without keeping score, and it takes many hours together. Likely to trip me up: waiting to be invited, and counting who called last. Note: Robbins is a speaker and podcaster, and this is not her own research. The roles of nearness and of time spent together match published studies of how friendships form. (Source: The Let Them Theory, Ch. 11 and Ch. 12.)
Feeling Safe with Others (The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk): why being truly known matters so much. The Junto (Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, Walter Isaacson): a standing group is friendship built on purpose.
People & Communication
The Three Pillars of Adult Friendship
Ch. 11, The Truth No One Told You About Adult Friendship, and Ch. 12, Why Some Friendships Naturally Fade. Chapter titles confirmed from independent summaries, not from the publisher's contents page. Page not verified (Hay House, 2024).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve relationships / communicate; Improve mental health / be happier
14; 25; 04
Plan: I will list my friendships and mark which of the three pillars each still has. For the faded ones I will drop the grudge. Each week I will make one first move towards someone near me now: an invitation, a message, a regular meet-up.
adult friendship, proximity, timing, energy, drifting apart, loneliness, making friends, going first, invitations, life stages, moving city, not personal, effort, reaching out, social life, grudges, new friends, community, initiative, fading friendships
Old friends have drifted away and you take it as rejection. You wait for someone to invite you, nobody does, and the loneliness grows.
Think of one person near you now whom you would like to know better. Send the invitation today, and do not keep score of who asks next.
Adult friendships rest on proximity, timing and energy. When these shift, friends drift, and nobody is at fault. Go first to build new ones.
Rich Dad Poor Dad
Single Model
Robert T. Kiyosaki (early editions with Sharon L. Lechter)
Not started
Sort what I own and what I buy by the direction the money flows.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kiyosaki says this is the one rule that matters. An asset puts money in your pocket. A liability takes money out of it. He draws simple diagrams of where the cash goes. In his account, the rich buy assets, the poor have only expenses, and the middle class buy liabilities that they believe are assets, such as a bigger house or a new car. His test for any purchase is to ask which way the money will flow once you own it. The aim is to build the asset side until what it pays covers your costs. Likely to trip me up: things I am proud of owning feel like assets. Note: accountants object to this. On a balance sheet, a home you own is an asset. His definition is about cash flow and it is his own, and treating it as accounting will mislead you. Kiyosaki presents the book as a true story, and reporters have found no evidence that his 'rich dad' existed. Critics call much of his specific advice on property and debt risky. I have kept to the general test. This is not financial advice. (Source: Rich Dad Poor Dad, Lesson 2.)
Wealth Is What You Don't See (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): visible spending is not wealth. You Aren't What You Drive (The Millionaire Next Door, Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko): status purchases drain money.
Decision-Making & Risk
Assets and Liabilities
Lesson 2, Why Teach Financial Literacy? This is Chapter Two in the current Plata Publishing edition and Chapter Three in the older Warner edition. Page not verified.
Build emergency fund / invest; Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending
20; 03; 22
Plan: I will list everything I own or pay for that costs more than a set amount a year, and mark each one as money in or money out. Each month I will move a fixed sum towards the money-in column before I add anything to the other.
assets, liabilities, cash flow, money in, money out, house, car, purchases, financial literacy, income-producing, balance sheet, net worth, spending test, investing, wealth, middle class, ownership, expenses, flow of money, basics
You think of your car, your gadgets and your bigger flat as things you own. Every month each of them takes money from you, and nothing you own pays any in.
List your five most valuable possessions. Beside each, write what it pays you each month and what it costs you each month.
An asset puts money in your pocket. A liability takes it out. Before you buy, ask which it is. Much of what we call assets fails the test.
The Let Them Theory
Single Model
Mel Robbins (with Sawyer Robbins)
Not started
Tell the difference between supporting someone and saving them from the results of their own choices.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robbins writes about loving someone who is struggling, whether with money, drink, their mental health or plain bad decisions. The instinct is to step in: pay the bill, make the excuse, solve the problem. She argues that each rescue removes the discomfort which might have moved the person to act, and teaches them that someone else will always handle it. So the more you rescue, the deeper they sink. Her alternative is support without control. Be present, say that you believe they can face it, offer help that they have to take up themselves, and let them feel the natural results of their choices. She says people heal when they are ready to do the work, and not before. Likely to trip me up: my own discomfort at watching someone I love struggle, which is the feeling the rescue really relieves. Note: Robbins is a speaker and podcaster, not a clinician. Therapists have warned that this idea can be misused as a reason to withdraw from people who need help. It does not apply to children, or to emergencies. If someone may be in danger, get help at once. (Source: The Let Them Theory, Ch. 16 and Ch. 17.)
Economic Outpatient Care (The Millionaire Next Door, Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko): regular money gifts to adult children leave them weaker. Shifting the Burden: The Addiction Trap (Thinking in Systems, Donella Meadows): the helper's fix erodes the person's own capacity.
People & Communication
The More You Rescue, the More They Sink
Ch. 16, The More You Rescue, the More They Sink, and Ch. 17, How to Provide Support the Right Way (chapter titles confirmed from a published reading guide). Page not verified (Hay House, 2024).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 14; 12
Plan: I will list what I currently do for one struggling adult in my life, and mark each item as support, which helps them act, or rescue, which removes a consequence. I will stop one rescue, tell them kindly that I am doing so, and keep all the support.
rescuing, enabling, support, consequences, struggling loved one, boundaries, bailing out, adult children, addiction, money help, responsibility, readiness, control, caretaking, codependency, letting go, presence, belief in them, tough love, helping
Someone you love keeps landing in the same trouble, and each time you bail them out. You are worn out and they are no better. You are afraid to stop.
Write down one thing you keep doing for a struggling adult that they could do themselves. Decide how you will tell them, kindly, that you are handing it back.
Rescuing someone from the results of their choices removes their reason to change. Support the person, and let them face the consequences.
The Artist's Way
Single Model
Julia Cameron
Not started
Put something new into my head each week, on my own, so that I have something to draw on.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cameron's second tool is a weekly outing, of an hour or two, that you take alone with what she calls your inner artist. It need not cost anything or be highbrow: a long walk, a junk shop, an aquarium, an old film. Her image is a well. Making things draws on a stock of images and experiences, and if you keep drawing without refilling it, the well runs dry. She insists on going alone, since company turns it into a social event and your attention goes to the other person. She reports that people resist this tool more than the writing, since it feels frivolous, and that the resistance is itself a sign that it is needed. Likely to trip me up: cancelling it when the week gets busy, or taking someone along. Note: Cameron is a working artist and teacher, and the book has a spiritual framing. Nobody has tested Artist Dates. Choosing outdoor ones is my extension, and there is separate research suggesting that time in natural settings restores attention. (Source: The Artist's Way, The Basic Tools.)
Gather Specific and General Materials (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): ideas are made from what you have taken in. Curiosity Over Passion (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): follow small interests and see where they lead.
Creativity & Ideas
The Artist Date
The Basic Tools, the section that comes before Week 1. Page not verified (first published by Tarcher/Putnam, 1992; the structure is the same in the later anniversary editions).
Improve mental health / be happier; Spend more time outdoors; Learn a skill / upskill
04; 18; 17
Plan: I will block two hours a week, alone, for something that interests me and has no purpose: a walk somewhere new, a market, a museum, a bookshop. I will make at least every second one outdoors. I will note any ideas that turn up in the following days.
artist date, solo outing, filling the well, inspiration, play, curiosity, input, creativity, alone time, walk, museum, novelty, weekly ritual, burnout, ideas, fun, outdoors, exploration, rest, inner artist
You keep producing and never take anything in. All your free time is errands, screens or other people. The ideas thin out and you wonder why.
Put two hours in your calendar this week for an outing alone: somewhere you are curious about, with no purpose. Do not invite anyone.
Once a week, take yourself out alone for an hour or two to something that interests you. Output needs input, and the well must be refilled.
Rich Dad Poor Dad
Single Model
Robert T. Kiyosaki (early editions with Sharon L. Lechter)
Not started
Judge my next role, and my side project, by what they will teach me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kiyosaki advises young people to pick jobs for what they will learn and not for what they will earn. He tells of taking a sales job with a copier company because he was shy and afraid of rejection, and he knew that selling was a skill he lacked. He argues that specialists are trapped by their one skill, and that people who know a little about many things, such as selling, marketing, communication, accounting and managing people, have far more options. He says the most important of these is the ability to sell and communicate. He admits that the advice sounds backwards, and that most people will not accept lower pay in exchange for learning. Likely to trip me up: a higher salary is visible at once, and a skill pays back years later. Note: Kiyosaki presents the book as a true story, and reporters have found no evidence that his 'rich dad' existed. This piece of career advice is uncontroversial. Drucker gives the opposite emphasis: build on the strengths you already have. (Source: Rich Dad Poor Dad, Lesson 6.)
Career Capital (So Good They Can't Ignore You, Cal Newport): rare and valuable skills are what buy a good working life. Make Strength Productive (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): a contrasting view, on going deep where you are already strong.
Learning & Knowledge
Work to Learn
Lesson 6, Work to Learn, Don't Work for Money. This is Chapter Six in the current Plata Publishing edition, starting on p. 115 (from a scanned contents page), and Chapter Seven in the older Warner edition.
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: I will list the skills that would matter most for the work I want: speaking, writing, selling, editing, managing money. Each quarter I will pick one and find a task, at work or outside it, that forces me to practise it.
work to learn, skills, career choice, sales, communication, generalist, specialist, salary, learning, first job, fear of rejection, skill stacking, experience, growth, side project, marketing, long-term, pay cut, upskilling, job change
You choose each job by the salary, and stay within the one thing you are trained for. Ten years on you are well paid, narrow and stuck.
Name the one skill you most avoid, such as selling, speaking or writing. Find one task this month that will force you to practise it.
Early on, choose work for the skills it teaches, not for the pay. Selling, communicating and managing people are worth more than a raise.
The 5 Second Rule
Single Model
Mel Robbins
Not started
Get from 'I should' to moving before my mind argues me out of it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robbins says there is a gap of a few seconds between an impulse to do something useful and the mind's list of reasons not to. Her rule is to fill that gap. The moment you feel the urge to act on a goal, count backwards, 5-4-3-2-1, and physically move when you reach one. She found it at a low point in her life, in debt and unable to get out of bed. She saw a rocket launch on television, and the next morning she counted herself out of bed like a launch. She then used it for calls she was avoiding, for exercise, and for speaking up. She is clear that the count does nothing by itself. It interrupts the hesitation, and you still have to move. Likely to trip me up: counting, and then sitting still. Note: Robbins is a speaker, not a scientist. She says the count switches on the front of the brain, and no study has tested her countdown. The nearest solid research is on deciding in advance exactly when and where you will act. A review of 94 studies found that doing so clearly helps people follow through. (Source: The 5 Second Rule, Ch. 1 and Ch. 2.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): make the first move tiny. Do Not Wait for Motivation (Mini Habits, Stephen Guise): act first, and the feeling follows.
Habits & Behavior Change
The 5 Second Rule
Part 1, Ch. 1, Five Seconds to Change Your Life, and Ch. 2, How I Discovered the 5 Second Rule. Page not verified (Savio Republic, 2017).
Beat procrastination / focus; Exercise / move daily; Sleep better
07; 01; 05
Plan: For two weeks I will use the countdown on three fixed moments: getting out of bed at the alarm, starting my first work block, and beginning exercise. I will tally each time I used it and each time I moved by the count of one.
5 second rule, countdown, hesitation, snooze button, getting out of bed, starting, impulse, overthinking, action, launch, procrastination, five four three two one, exercise, courage, move, window, excuses, alarm, trigger, momentum
The alarm goes off, or the thought comes that you should start. You give yourself a moment to think about it. By the end of the moment you have a reason not to.
Tomorrow, when the alarm sounds, count 5-4-3-2-1 and stand up on one. Do not decide anything. Just count, and move.
The moment you feel an urge to act on a goal, count 5-4-3-2-1 and move. Wait any longer and your mind talks you out of it.
The Artist's Way
Single Model
Julia Cameron
Not started
Turn envy into a list of things to try.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cameron says jealousy is a map. We do not envy everyone who succeeds. We envy the people who are doing what we secretly want to do and have not dared to try. She calls jealousy a mask for fear: fear that we cannot have the thing, and frustration that someone else seems to be getting what we think is ours. Her exercise has three columns. In the first you write who you are jealous of. In the second, why. In the third, one action you could take to move towards the same thing. She gives the example of envying a friend's published writing, where the action is to send out some of your own. The sour feeling becomes a short list of things to do, and she says that even one small action takes the sting out of it. Likely to trip me up: envying the result, such as fame or money, and not the activity itself. Note: Cameron writes from teaching experience, not research. The idea fits with studies that separate envy which motivates a person from envy which only resents. (Source: The Artist's Way, Week 7.)
Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday (12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson): another way to take the poison out of comparison. Ignition (The Talent Code, Daniel Coyle): seeing someone like you succeed can start you off.
Mindset & Emotions
The Jealousy Map
Week 7, Recovering a Sense of Connection. Page not verified (first published by Tarcher/Putnam, 1992).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Journal / self-reflect; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
26; 24; 27
Plan: I will draw the three columns once a month: who I envy, exactly what for, and one small action that would move me towards the same thing. I will do one action from the list each week.
jealousy map, envy, comparison, desire, fear, three columns, action, signal, social media, goals, wanting, resentment, creative dreams, permission, small step, self-knowledge, rivals, journaling, motivation, hidden wishes
Someone you know announces a success, and you feel sick and find fault with them. You are ashamed of the feeling, so you bury it and learn nothing from it.
Draw three columns: who I envy, what for, and one small action I could take towards the same thing. Fill in three rows. Do one of the actions this week.
Jealousy points at what you want and have not dared to try. List who you envy, why, and one small action towards the same thing.
Rich Dad Poor Dad
Single Model
Robert T. Kiyosaki (early editions with Sharon L. Lechter)
Not started
Find out which of the five is actually stopping me from acting on what I already know.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Kiyosaki observes that many people learn the basics of money and still do nothing with them. He names five reasons. Fear of losing money: everyone has it, and the difference lies in how you handle a loss. Cynicism: the 'what if' doubts, your own and other people's, which he answers by analysing a thing properly before dismissing it. Laziness, which he says often hides as being busy, so that there is never time to look at your finances. Against it he sets a little desire, and the habit of asking 'how can I afford it?' where you would usually say 'I cannot afford it'. Bad habits, above all paying everyone else first and yourself last. And arrogance: believing that what you do not know does not matter. He says he lost money every time he was arrogant. Likely to trip me up: I will pick the obstacle that flatters me most. Note: Kiyosaki presents the book as a true story, and reporters have found no evidence that his 'rich dad' existed. In this chapter he also tells readers to pay themselves before their creditors, which critics call reckless, and I would not copy that. This is not financial advice. (Source: Rich Dad Poor Dad, Overcoming Obstacles.)
The Five Truths About Fear (Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers): the fear does not go away, so act with it. Resistance (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): staying busy is one of its disguises.
Mindset & Emotions
The Five Obstacles
Overcoming Obstacles. This is Chapter Seven in the current Plata Publishing edition, starting on p. 129 (from a scanned contents page), and Chapter Eight in the older Warner edition.
Build emergency fund / invest; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Beat procrastination / focus
20; 27; 07
Plan: For the one money action I keep putting off, I will score myself from 1 to 5 on each obstacle: fear, cynicism, laziness, bad habits, arrogance. I will take the highest score and apply its remedy for thirty days.
obstacles, fear of loss, cynicism, laziness, busyness, bad habits, arrogance, inaction, knowing but not doing, investing, self-audit, doubt, what if, excuses, money avoidance, how can I afford it, desire, overconfidence, procrastination, first step
You have read the books and know you should be saving and investing. You still have not started, and you cannot say exactly why.
For one money action you keep delaying, score yourself from 1 to 5 on fear, cynicism, laziness, bad habits and arrogance. Work on the highest.
People who know what to do with money still do not do it. Five things stop them: fear, cynicism, laziness, bad habits and arrogance.
The Artist's Way
Single Model
Julia Cameron
Not started
See who keeps pulling me into their storms, and what I gain from letting them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Cameron describes a type she calls the crazymaker. Crazymakers are often charming and gifted. They break agreements and schedules, turn up with a crisis on the day of your deadline, expect special treatment, spend your time and money, and set the people around them against one another. Life near them is a series of storms, and everyone else's plans bend around theirs. Her sharper point is about us. She says people who are blocked in their own work often choose to stay close to a crazymaker, since someone else's drama is a respectable reason for not doing the frightening thing of your own. The first step she asks for is simply to name the crazymakers in your life and admit what the arrangement is doing for you. Likely to trip me up: seeing the other person's part and not my own. Note: Cameron writes from her experience as an artist and teacher, not from research. It is a vivid label and not a diagnosis, and it should not be used to write off someone who is in real difficulty. (Source: The Artist's Way, Week 2.)
Why Don't You, Yes But (Games People Play, Eric Berne): another pattern that uses up everyone's energy and changes nothing. Resistance (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): other people's drama is one of its favourite covers.
People & Communication
Crazymakers
Week 2, Recovering a Sense of Identity. Page not verified (first published by Tarcher/Putnam, 1992).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 13; 12
Plan: For two weeks I will note each time my plans are overturned by someone else's emergency. I will name the person, and what I was about to work on when it happened. I will then set one limit with the person who appears most often.
crazymakers, drama, boundaries, energy drain, chaos, difficult people, deadlines, distraction, excuses, time, toxic relationships, limits, creative block, other people's crises, avoidance, charm, broken plans, self-sabotage, protect your time, naming it
Whenever you clear time for your own work, the same person has a crisis that needs you. You drop everything. A part of you is relieved.
Write down the name of the person whose emergencies most often overturn your plans. Then write what you were avoiding the last time it happened.
Some people live in constant drama and pull your time and energy in. Notice who they are. Often we keep them near to avoid our own work.
Let's Talk Money
Single Model
Monika Halan
Not started
Make my saving happen through how my accounts are set up, and stop relying on willpower.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Halan's starting point is that most people do not need a better investment. They need a system, which she calls a money box, and its first part is an orderly flow of cash. She recommends three bank accounts. The income account is where salary and all other income arrive. From it, a fixed monthly amount goes to the spend-it account, and all daily spending, bills and payments come out of that one alone. What is left goes to the invest-it account, and from there into investments. You can then see at a glance what you earn, what you spend and what you save. Overspending shows up straight away as an empty spending account, and investing happens before the money can be spent. She notes that you must first know honestly what you spend, and that many people do not. Likely to trip me up: topping up the spending account from the other two. Note: Halan is a long-standing personal finance editor and a certified financial planner, and she wrote the book for Indian households. The method is sound in any country. This is general education, not financial advice. (Source: Let's Talk Money, Ch. 1 and Ch. 2.)
Automate Your Money (I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ramit Sethi): the same idea, with the transfers on autopilot. Pay Yourself First (The Richest Man in Babylon, George S. Clason): the oldest version of the rule.
Systems & Strategy
The Three-Account System
Ch. 1, The Money Order, and Ch. 2, Don't Stash That Cash! The two opening chapters set up the cash-flow system, and I could not confirm which of them describes the three accounts. Page not verified (HarperCollins India, 2018; a third edition came out in December 2024).
Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending; Build emergency fund / invest
03; 22; 20
Plan: I will set up three accounts. My salary will land in the first. On the day after payday a fixed sum will move automatically to a spending account, which is the only one with a card and payment apps attached. The rest will move to an investing account. I will review the fixed sum every six months.
three accounts, cash flow, income account, spend-it account, invest-it account, salary, budgeting, system, automatic transfer, overspending, savings, india, upi, debit card, money box, separation, payday, tracking, bank accounts, structure
Salary, spending and savings all sit in one account. You cannot tell what you can afford, the balance looks healthy until it suddenly is not, and whatever is left over gets spent.
Work out what you spend in a normal month. Open or choose a second account for spending only, and set up a transfer of that amount on the day after payday.
Use three bank accounts. Pay lands in the first. A fixed sum moves to the second for spending. The rest goes to the third for investing.
The 5 Second Rule
Single Model
Mel Robbins
Not started
Expect the first push to be the hardest part, and plan for it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robbins borrows a term from chemistry. A reaction needs an initial burst of energy to get going, which is more than it needs to keep going. She says changing your behaviour is the same. The force needed to get yourself out of a warm bed, or to start a task you dread, is far greater than the force needed to continue once you are up and moving. People read that first resistance as a sign that they are not ready, or that the task is wrong for them. She says it is simply the cost of starting, that it is always there, and that waiting does not make it smaller. Her countdown is her way of supplying the push. The point underneath is wider: expect the hump, and put your effort into getting over it. Likely to trip me up: using up the push on planning and preparing. Note: the chemistry is a metaphor, and Robbins's claims about the brain in this chapter are hers and have not been tested. That tasks feel worst just before we begin is a common finding in research on procrastination. (Source: The 5 Second Rule, Ch. 4.)
The 20-Second Rule (The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor): lower the cost of starting by changing your surroundings. Action Comes Before Motivation (Feeling Good, David D. Burns): the wish to do it arrives after you begin.
Productivity & Focus
Activation Energy
Part 1, Ch. 4, Why the Rule Works. Page not verified (Savio Republic, 2017).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Exercise / move daily
07; 13; 01
Plan: For each task I avoid, I will define the first thirty seconds in physical terms: open the file, put on the shoes, dial the number. I will give that first move one deliberate push, and record how the task felt two minutes in.
activation energy, starting, inertia, first push, resistance, getting going, dread, momentum, initial effort, warm bed, first thirty seconds, friction, beginning, tasks, hump, continuing is easier, motivation, physical first step, avoidance, launch
You feel heavy resistance before a task and take it to mean that today is not the day. You wait for it to lift. It is there every day.
For one task you are avoiding, write its first thirty seconds as a physical action. Do only that. Then see how you feel two minutes in.
Starting takes more force than continuing. Expect that first resistance, and supply one deliberate push to get past it. Then it gets easier.
The Artist's Way
Single Model
Julia Cameron
Not started
Find out what I do, and what I think, when I stop taking in other people's words.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: in the fourth week of her course Cameron asks for something that readers tend to hate: a week with no reading. Later versions widen it to all media. Her reasoning is that many of us use other people's words the way others use food or drink, to fill every empty moment and to numb ourselves. While the flow of input never stops, we never hear what we ourselves think. She says that when it is cut off, people first feel panic and boredom. Then they find themselves doing things they have put off for months: sorting, mending, writing, calling people, making things. She expects arguments and cheating, and treats the strength of the protest as a measure of the dependence. Likely to trip me up: work really does require some reading, and I will stretch that excuse. Note: Cameron writes from teaching experience, not research, and nobody has tested this week in a trial. It sits close to current ideas about cutting back on digital media, and that link is my extension. (Source: The Artist's Way, Week 4.)
Embrace Boredom (Deep Work, Cal Newport): stop filling every gap with input. The Nothing Alternative (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): take away the easy options and the real work looks better.
Productivity & Focus
Reading Deprivation
Week 4, Recovering a Sense of Integrity. The author's own site and later editions also call it media deprivation. Page not verified (first published by Tarcher/Putnam, 1992).
Cut phone / social-media use; Limit multitasking / context-switching; Beat procrastination / focus
06; 28; 07
Plan: For seven days I will read and watch nothing that my work does not strictly require: no feeds, news, videos, podcasts or books. I will keep a list of what I do with the time, and of the ideas and the restlessness that come up.
reading deprivation, media fast, input, information diet, feeds, news, podcasts, boredom, own thoughts, numbing, distraction, digital detox, one week, consumption, creating, silence, attention, dependence, neglected tasks, withdrawal
Every spare minute is filled with someone else's words: feeds, videos, podcasts, articles. You call it learning. You have not had a thought of your own in weeks.
Pick a start date for seven days with no feeds, news, videos or books beyond what your work strictly needs. Tell one person. Keep a notebook nearby.
For one week, take in no words: no books, feeds or news. With other voices gone you hear your own thoughts, and neglected work gets done.
Let's Talk Money
Single Model
Monika Halan
Not started
Make sure that what I have built reaches the people I mean it for, without a fight.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Halan says a financial plan is not finished until you have written a will, and that most people put it off, since it means thinking about death. She clears up a common confusion. Many people believe that naming a nominee on a bank account, a fund or a policy settles who gets the money. In Indian law, she explains, a nominee is generally a custodian: the person the institution hands the money to, who then holds it on behalf of the legal heirs. Who actually inherits is decided by a will, or by succession law if there is none. Where the nominee and the heirs differ, families end up in dispute, sometimes for years. A simple, clearly written and properly witnessed will, together with a list of what you own and where it is, spares the family that. Likely to trip me up: feeling too young, or too far from rich, for it to matter. Note: Halan is a personal finance editor and a certified financial planner, and she writes about Indian law. The rules on nominees and inheritance differ between countries, and between types of asset, so take legal advice for your own case. (Source: Let's Talk Money, Ch. 13.)
A Plan Quiets the Nag (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): an avoided task stays on the mind until it is planned. Tell It Like It Is (The Hard Thing About Hard Things, Ben Horowitz): give your family the plain facts while you still can.
Decision-Making & Risk
A Nominee Is Not an Heir
Ch. 13, Will It. Page not verified (HarperCollins India, 2018; a third edition came out in December 2024).
Build emergency fund / invest; Be more productive / organised; Spend time with family/friends
20; 13; 14
Plan: I will make one list of every account, investment, policy and property, with the nominee for each. I will then write a simple will that matches it, have it properly witnessed, tell my family where it is kept, and review it every three years.
will, nominee, heir, inheritance, succession, estate planning, family disputes, custodian, legal heirs, asset list, india, death planning, witnesses, documents, paperwork, protecting family, bank accounts, nominations, legal advice, putting it off
You have named nominees on your accounts and assume that settles it. There is no will and no list of what you own. If you died tomorrow your family would be left guessing, and perhaps fighting.
Make one list of every account, investment, policy and property you hold, with the nominee for each. Give a copy to one person you trust.
Naming a nominee does not settle who inherits. A nominee only holds the money for the legal heirs. Write a simple will to spare your family.
Let's Talk Money
Single Model
Monika Halan
Not started
Keep protection and investing apart, so that each does its own job well.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Halan's rule is that insurance exists to protect, and for nothing else. You need a health cover, so that a hospital bill does not wipe out your savings. If anyone depends on your income, you need a pure term life cover, which pays a large sum to your family if you die and nothing if you live, and which costs little for that reason. If nobody depends on you, she says you may need no life cover at all. Her warning is about products that bundle insurance with investment. They dominate the Indian market, and she has studied how they are mis-sold. She says they give too little cover to protect a family and poor returns as an investment, that they carry high costs, especially in the early years, and that they lock you in. Buy protection as protection, and invest separately. Likely to trip me up: a friendly agent, and the pull of getting something back. Note: Halan is a personal finance editor and a certified financial planner, and has published research on the mis-selling of insurance. Tax rules on some of these Indian products have changed since 2018. This is general education, not financial advice. (Source: Let's Talk Money, Ch. 4 and Ch. 5.)
The Myth of Financial Expertise (I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ramit Sethi): a complicated product mostly serves the person selling it. The Product Checklist (Let's Talk Money, Monika Halan): the questions that expose a bad bundle.
Decision-Making & Risk
Insurance Is Not Investment
Ch. 4, Building Your Protection (health cover), and Ch. 5, What If You Die? (life cover). Page not verified (HarperCollins India, 2018; a third edition came out in December 2024).
Build emergency fund / invest; Save money / spend less
20; 03
Plan: I will list every insurance policy I hold and mark each as pure protection or a mix of cover and investment. I will check that I have enough health cover, and enough term cover if anyone depends on my income. I will take professional advice before I stop any mixed policy.
term insurance, health cover, insurance is not investment, bundled plans, endowment, mis-selling, protection, dependants, agents, premiums, returns, lock-in, family security, pure cover, hospital bills, india, policy review, costs, separate investing, life cover
An agent or a relative sells you a plan that promises cover, savings and a payout at the end. It feels safe and sensible. You are under-protected and earning very little.
List your insurance policies. Beside each, write what it would pay out if you died or fell ill, and what it costs each year. Look hard at any that also promise returns.
Buy insurance only for protection: a health cover and a pure term life cover. Products that mix insurance with investing do both jobs badly.
The Let Them Theory
Single Model
Mel Robbins (with Sawyer Robbins)
Not started
Stop nagging the people I love about their habits, and use the little influence I really have.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Robbins starts from a plain claim: people only change when they feel like it. Pressure, reminders and lectures feel like an attempt to control, and people push back against them, so nagging makes change less likely. What you do have is influence, and she sets it out as the ABC Loop. A: apologise for the judging and the pushing you have done, and then ask open-ended questions about how they see the matter. B: back off, and observe their behaviour, which will tell you more than their words. C: celebrate any progress you see, while you go on modelling the change yourself. She adds a harder instruction. When they complain about the results of their own habit, do not reassure them or jump in with advice. Let the silence do the work. Likely to trip me up: asking the questions as a way of delivering the lecture. Note: Robbins is a speaker and podcaster, not a researcher. The approach matches published research showing that pressure tends to backfire, and the methods counsellors use to help people find their own reasons to change. It does not apply where someone is in danger. (Source: The Let Them Theory, Ch. 14 and Ch. 15.)
Why Don't You, Yes But (Games People Play, Eric Berne): what happens to advice nobody asked for. Find the Bright Spots (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): notice what is already working, and build on it.
People & Communication
The ABC Loop
Ch. 14, People Only Change When They Feel Like It, and Ch. 15, Unlock the Power of Your Influence (chapter titles confirmed from a published reading guide). Page not verified (Hay House, 2024).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 14; 12
Plan: With one person whose habit worries me, I will run the loop once. I will apologise for the pressure, ask open questions and listen, then say nothing about it for a month while I keep up my own good habits. I will mention any small step I see them take.
abc loop, influence, nagging, pressure, change, apologise, open questions, back off, celebrate progress, modelling, partner, parents, teenagers, habits, resistance, control, motivation, listening, silence, consequences
You nag your partner about their health, or your parent about smoking. They dig in. You push harder, and the subject becomes a fight nobody can win.
Pick one person you have been pushing. Say: 'I am sorry I have been on at you about this. How do you feel about it?' Then listen, and give no advice.
You cannot pressure anyone into changing. Apologise and ask open questions, back off and watch what they do, then celebrate any progress.
Sapiens
Single Model
Yuval Noah Harari
Not started
Tell apart the rules I follow that are facts of nature from those that are agreements I could question.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harari asks how humans came to cooperate in groups of millions when other apes manage a few dozen. His answer is that our language can describe things that do not exist, and that large numbers of strangers can work together if they believe in the same stories. He takes a car company as his example. It is not its factories, its staff or its shareholders, all of which could be replaced. It is a legal fiction that exists because lawyers and everyone else agree that it does. Money, nations, human rights and laws are, he says, of the same kind. He calls them imagined realities. They are not lies, since everybody believes in them, and that shared belief gives them immense force. They exist in our common imagination, and they can change very quickly when the story changes. Likely to trip me up: the stories I grew up inside do not look like stories. Note: a sweeping work of synthesis, and specialists dispute parts of it, including the account of early human language in this chapter. The point about institutions is widely accepted. (Source: Sapiens, Ch. 2.)
The Map Is Not the Territory (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): a shared map is still a map. The Normal Is Local (The Consolations of Philosophy, Alain de Botton): customs feel like nature from the inside.
Thinking & Reasoning
Shared Fictions
Part One, Ch. 2, The Tree of Knowledge. Page not verified (Harper, 2015).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Reduce debt / control spending
26; 22
Plan: I will list ten 'rules' I live by about success, status and money. I will mark each one as physical reality or shared story. For the stories, I will write who benefits from my believing them, and pick one to stop obeying automatically.
shared fictions, imagined realities, myths, money, nations, corporations, status, agreements, social rules, cooperation, belief, conventions, success story, career ladder, stories, institutions, law, culture, questioning rules, collective imagination
You treat the rules of your job, your industry or your social circle as if they were laws of physics. It never occurs to you that they are agreements.
Write down three 'rules' you obey about success or status. Beside each, write: is this a fact of nature, or a story that people agree on?
Money, nations, companies and laws exist because enough people believe in them. They are powerful, and they are agreements, not nature.
The Wright Brothers
Single Model
David McCullough
Not started
Start my project on money I already have, and treat the tight budget as an advantage.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: McCullough sets the brothers beside the best-funded flying project of the day. The head of the Smithsonian Institution, a distinguished scientist, had some seventy thousand dollars, most of it public money from the War Department, together with a staff and a great deal of press attention. His full-size machine was launched twice over a river in late 1903 and fell straight into the water both times, the second time nine days before the brothers flew. By their own account, the brothers' entire spending over four years, including travel, came to a little under a thousand dollars, all of it from the modest profits of their bicycle shop. McCullough shows what that did for them. They did the work themselves, tested cheaply with gliders before adding an engine, wasted nothing, and answered to nobody about what to try next. Likely to trip me up: believing that I cannot begin until I have proper funding or equipment. Note: a narrative history. The figures are those McCullough reports, and the lesson drawn from them is my reading. Money was only one of several differences between the two efforts. (Source: The Wright Brothers, Ch. 5.)
Small Batches (The Lean Startup, Eric Ries): cheap, frequent tests beat one grand launch. What Goes Up, Can't Go Down (The Innovator's Dilemma, Clayton M. Christensen): low costs keep small bets open.
Systems & Strategy
Small Money, Full Ownership
Ch. 5, December 17, 1903, which covers the failures of the rival government-funded machine in late 1903. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2015).
Save money / spend less; Learn a skill / upskill; Build emergency fund / invest
03; 17; 20
Plan: I will set a small fixed budget for my project from my own savings, and write down the three things I must learn before I would spend more. Every cost has to buy a test of one of those three.
bootstrapping, small budget, constraints, funding, frugality, self-funded, independence, waste, cheap tests, side project, resourcefulness, grants, equipment, ownership, bicycle shop, government money, freedom to decide, lean, savings, starting small
You are waiting for funding, a better camera, a proper studio or a sponsor before you start. With enough money, you tell yourself, it would be easy.
Write down the smallest budget on which you could test your idea this month, using your own money. Spend it only on things that teach you something.
A small budget of your own can beat a large grant. It forces cheap tests, close attention and no waste, and leaves you free to decide.
Discipline Is Destiny
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Give my most important work the first and quietest hour of the day.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday argues that the early morning is the one part of the day that belongs to you. Nobody has asked for anything yet, no meetings have started, and the mind is fresh. He tells of a novelist who, as a working single mother, wrote before dawn, since that was the only time she had, and who found that it was when she thought most clearly. He quotes the Roman emperor who argued with himself at daybreak about getting out from under the blankets, and who told himself that he had been made for work and not for huddling in the warm. Holiday's point is that the discipline is mostly exercised the evening before: getting up early is only possible for someone who went to bed on time. Likely to trip me up: staying up late and then trying to pay for the early hour out of my sleep. Note: Holiday is a populariser of Stoic philosophy who illustrates his points with chosen historical stories. It is not research. Sleep science says people differ in their natural timing, so for some the quiet hour is late at night. (Source: Discipline Is Destiny, Part I.)
The Two Forces of Sleep (Why We Sleep, Matthew Walker): your body clock decides when 'early' is for you. Know Thy Time (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): protect large blocks for the work that matters.
Habits & Behavior Change
Attack the Dawn
Part I, The Exterior (The Body), chapter 'Attack the Dawn'. Starts on p. 18 (Portfolio, 2022, from the book's contents pages).
Sleep better; Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus
05; 13; 07
Plan: For three weeks I will go to bed early enough to get up one hour before anyone needs me, and spend that hour on my main project before I look at my phone. I will log the hours done, and how I sleep.
early rising, morning routine, dawn, quiet hours, first hour, writing, bedtime, discipline, focus, before the phone, productivity, waking up, snooze, deep work, routine, night before, fresh mind, uninterrupted, habit, chronotype
Your own projects get whatever is left after work, messages and chores, which is nothing. By the evening you are too spent to start.
Tonight, set out what you need for one hour of your own work. Go to bed thirty minutes earlier. Get up an hour before the first demand.
The early hours are the ones nobody else has claimed yet. Do your most important work then, before the day's demands wake up.
The Hard Thing About Hard Things
Single Model
Ben Horowitz
Not started
Tell the people affected about a problem while it can still be fixed.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Horowitz writes that as a young chief executive he thought his job was to stay positive and keep bad news from his staff. He came to see this as a serious mistake, and gives three reasons for telling it like it is. The first is trust. Without it, communication breaks down, and nothing erodes trust faster than people finding out the truth from somewhere else. The second is that the more brains there are working on a hard problem, the better, and people cannot work on a problem they have not been told about. The third is culture. In a healthy organisation bad news travels fast and good news travels slowly, so that trouble reaches those who can act on it. He notes that the leader tends to take bad news harder than the staff do, since they did not build the thing. Likely to trip me up: wanting to have a solution ready before I admit to the problem. Note: one executive's hard-won view, not research, though it matches findings on trust and openness in teams. (Source: The Hard Thing About Hard Things, Ch. 4.)
The Pool of Shared Meaning (Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and co-authors): decisions need everyone's information. Fair Process (Blue Ocean Strategy, W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne): people cooperate when they are told why.
People & Communication
Tell It Like It Is
Ch. 4, When Things Fall Apart, section 'CEOs Should Tell It Like It Is'. The section starts on p. 64 (Harper Business, 2014, from a library contents listing).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised
25; 13
Plan: When something goes wrong that touches other people, I will tell them within a day, in plain words, with what I know and what I do not know. I will then ask for their ideas before offering mine.
bad news, honesty, transparency, trust, hiding problems, team, family, candour, leadership, early warning, more brains, culture, communication, cover-up, positivity, truth, problems, disclosure, plain words, openness
Things are going badly and you keep a brave face, to protect your team or your family. They sense it anyway, trust drops, and you face it alone.
Pick one problem you are keeping from people it affects. Tell them today: what is wrong, what you know, what you do not. Then ask for ideas.
Share bad news early and plainly with the people affected. It builds trust, and it puts more brains on the problem than yours alone.
The Hard Thing About Hard Things
Single Model
Ben Horowitz
Not started
Keep my attention on where I am going when I am under pressure, and off the list of ways it could end badly.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Horowitz says the hardest skill he had to learn as a chief executive was managing his own state of mind. The job is lonely, and everything that goes wrong feels like your own fault. He offers a few techniques. Make some friends who have been through similar decisions. Get the problem out of your head and onto paper, which separates the reasoning from the feeling. And focus on the road, not the wall. He explains that people learning to drive a racing car are taught that if they fix their eyes on the wall, they will steer into it, and that they must look at the road. If you dwell on all the ways your venture could die, you will steer towards them. He adds that there are always many things that could go wrong, and that the only useful question is what to do next. Likely to trip me up: worry feels like responsible vigilance. Note: one executive's advice, not research, though it fits what is known about attention and anxiety. Planning for risks is still sensible. The point is not to stare at them. (Source: The Hard Thing About Hard Things, Ch. 7.)
Attention Is Psychic Energy (Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi): you go where your attention goes. Top Idea in Your Mind (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): guard what your free thoughts drift towards.
Mindset & Emotions
Focus on the Road, Not the Wall
Ch. 7, How to Lead Even When You Don't Know Where You Are Going, section 'The Most Difficult CEO Skill'. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2014).
Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination; Beat procrastination / focus
12; 15; 07
Plan: When I notice I am rehearsing disasters, I will write the fears on paper once to get them out of my head, and then write the next three moves towards the goal. I will do the first of those moves before anything else.
focus, road not wall, worry, catastrophising, attention, pressure, racing driver, next move, anxiety, fear, leadership, psychology, write it down, disaster thinking, steering, composure, rumination, target fixation, decisions, calm
Under pressure you run through every way this could end badly, over and over. All that attention on the wall leaves none for steering.
Write your fears about one project on paper, once. Then write the next three moves towards the goal underneath, and do the first one.
A racing driver who stares at the wall hits it. Look where you want to go. Give your attention to the next move, not to what may go wrong.
Sapiens
Single Model
Yuval Noah Harari
Not started
Spot the conveniences that have become obligations, and refuse the next one before it sets.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harari argues that the move to farming did not make individual lives easier. Each small improvement, a little more wheat or a better tool, allowed more mouths to be fed, which required more work, until people were labouring harder than their foraging ancestors for a poorer diet. Nobody planned it, and by the time anyone could see the whole picture there was no way back. He calls this the luxury trap, and states it as one of history's few iron laws: luxuries tend to become necessities and to spawn new obligations. He gives a modern example. Email was supposed to save us the trouble of writing and posting letters. Now we receive dozens of messages a day, all expecting a prompt reply, and live more anxiously than before. He also describes graduates who take punishing jobs, meaning to retire at thirty-five, and find at that age that they have mortgages and tastes which require them to go on. Likely to trip me up: each single step really is an improvement. Note: specialists dispute Harari's account of farming as a 'fraud'. The general pattern of rising expectations is well supported. (Source: Sapiens, Ch. 5.)
What Goes Up, Can't Go Down (The Innovator's Dilemma, Clayton M. Christensen): costs rise to match income. The Fulfillment Curve (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): past 'enough', more buys less.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Luxury Trap
Part Two, Ch. 5, History's Biggest Fraud. Page not verified (Harper, 2015).
Reduce debt / control spending; Cut phone / social-media use; Be more productive / organised
22; 06; 13
Plan: I will list the conveniences I have adopted in the past five years and the new obligations each one brought. Before I adopt the next one, I will write down what it will come to demand of me once everyone expects it.
luxury trap, necessities, lifestyle creep, convenience, obligations, email, mortgage, expectations, treadmill, upgrade, time-saving, busier, farming, no way back, smartphone, subscriptions, always available, hedonic, standards, trap
Every upgrade was supposed to save you time or effort: the phone, the bigger flat, the car. You are now busier and more tied down than before.
Name one 'time-saver' you now cannot do without. Write down what it has added to your obligations. Decide if one of those can be refused.
A comfort that saves effort soon becomes a need, and brings new obligations with it. Life ends up harder, and there is no way back.
Sapiens
Single Model
Yuval Noah Harari
Not started
Ask where a desire came from before I pay for it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harari argues that the imagined order we live in shapes even our most private wishes. He points to two ideas that dominate the modern West. Romanticism tells us that to make the most of our potential we must have as many different experiences as we can. Consumerism tells us that to be happy we must consume as many products and services as possible. Married together they form what he calls romantic consumerism, and the travel industry is its clearest product: it does not sell tickets and rooms, it sells experiences. He notes that a wealthy man in ancient Egypt would never have thought of solving a crisis in his marriage by taking his wife on holiday to Babylon. He might have built her the tomb she had always wanted. The desire feels as if it rises from within us. It was written by the culture. Likely to trip me up: 'follow your heart' is advice that the same order gives me, so checking my heart does not get me outside it. Note: a sweeping synthesis that specialists dispute in places. This part is cultural argument, not data. (Source: Sapiens, Ch. 6.)
Social Currency (Contagious, Jonah Berger): experiences are bought partly in order to be shared. Functional, Social, Emotional (Competing Against Luck, Clayton M. Christensen and co-authors): see what the purchase is really hired to do.
Biases & Blind Spots
Romantic Consumerism
Part Two, Ch. 6, Building Pyramids. Page not verified (Harper, 2015).
Reduce debt / control spending; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Save money / spend less
22; 26; 03
Plan: For each large discretionary purchase, trips above all, I will write where I first got the idea that this is what a good life contains. If the answer is advertising or other people's posts, I will wait thirty days and look for the cheapest route to the feeling I am actually after.
romantic consumerism, desires, experiences, travel, follow your heart, bucket list, advertising, culture, wants, spending, holidays, consumerism, imagined order, authenticity, influence, lifestyle, social media, programmed wants, tourism, money
You feel a deep personal need for the trip, the experience or the upgrade, and go into debt for it. It does not occur to you to ask where the need came from.
Pick one thing you badly want to buy or do. Ask: where did I first learn that this is what a good life looks like? Who was selling it?
The wish to 'follow your heart' by buying experiences feels personal. It was planted by the culture around you. Check who profits from it.
The Wright Brothers
Single Model
David McCullough
Not started
Keep practising through the long stretch when nobody notices.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: McCullough points out that the famous first flights of December 1903 lasted a matter of seconds, in a straight line. The brothers did not yet have a practical aeroplane. They went home, borrowed a cow pasture a few miles outside their town, and spent the next two seasons there. They made more than a hundred flights in 1904, with many crashes and repairs, and taught themselves to bank and turn and to fly a full circle. By the autumn of 1905 they were staying up for over half an hour and covering more than twenty miles. Almost nobody paid attention. The local papers ignored them. The first eyewitness account of a complete circle was published by a supplier of beekeeping equipment, in his own trade journal. The brothers hardly minded. The pasture was where the real machine, and the real skill, were made. Likely to trip me up: taking the lack of attention to mean that the work does not matter. Note: a narrative history. The events are documented, and the lesson drawn is my reading. (Source: The Wright Brothers, Ch. 6.)
Early Work Is Meant to Be Bad (The Talent Code, Daniel Coyle): the volume of early practice is the point. The Flywheel and the Doom Loop (Good to Great, Jim Collins): many pushes come before anyone sees it turn.
Learning & Knowledge
Practise Where Nobody Is Watching
Ch. 6, Out at Huffman Prairie, which covers 1904 and 1905. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2015).
Learn a skill / upskill; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 26; 27
Plan: I will commit to a set number of repetitions of my craft over the next six months, and measure only my own progress against my first attempt. I will check audience numbers once a month, and not daily.
practice, obscurity, no audience, persistence, mastery, cow pasture, repetitions, ignored, early years, views, recognition, patience, craft, improvement, overnight success, quiet work, creator, long game, crashes, circle
You post your early work, nobody notices, and you decide it is pointless. You expected recognition to arrive along with the first result.
Set a target of repetitions for the next six months, such as fifty videos or a hundred pages. Decide now that attention does not count until then.
After their first flight the brothers spent two years flying over a cow pasture, ignored by the press. Mastery is built out of sight.
Discipline Is Destiny
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Work at a pace at which I make fewer of the mistakes that cost me the most time.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday takes up an old Latin motto that is usually translated as 'make haste slowly', which was the favourite saying of the first Roman emperor. It sounds like a contradiction, and it is not. Energy and urgency are good. Hurry is not, since hurried work produces the errors that have to be found and fixed afterwards, and those errors are what take the time. He sets this beside a saying from military training: slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. The disciplined person moves with purpose and without rushing, measures before cutting, and finishes sooner than the person who dashed at it and had to begin again. Likely to trip me up: being busy and rushed feels productive, and being deliberate can feel lazy. Note: Holiday is a populariser who argues from chosen historical stories. It is not research, though studies of errors under time pressure point the same way. (Source: Discipline Is Destiny, Part I.)
Easy, Light, Smooth, Fast (Born to Run, Christopher McDougall): speed arrives after smoothness. Chunk It, Slow It, Repeat It (The Talent Code, Daniel Coyle): slow enough to catch every error.
Productivity & Focus
Slow Down to Go Faster
Part I, The Exterior (The Body), chapter 'Slow Down ... to Go Faster'. Starts on p. 54 (Portfolio, 2022, from the book's contents pages).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised; Be more punctual / manage time
27; 13; 23
Plan: For two weeks I will do my important tasks at a deliberate pace, and keep a tally of rework: things I had to redo, resend or apologise for. I will compare that tally with a normal fortnight.
festina lente, make haste slowly, rushing, errors, rework, pace, deliberate, smooth is fast, mistakes, hurry, care, measure twice, patience, quality, speed, time pressure, redo, steady, urgency, carelessness
You rush to save time. You send the email with the wrong attachment, skip the check, misread the instructions, and spend the afternoon repairing it.
Pick one task that matters today. Do it at a deliberate pace, with one check before you finish. Note how much rework you avoided.
Make haste slowly. Rushing causes the errors that cost the most time. A steady, careful pace is the quickest way through what matters.
Sapiens
Single Model
Yuval Noah Harari
Not started
Work on my expectations as well as my circumstances.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: near the end of the book Harari asks if all our progress has made us any happier. He reviews the research and draws out one central finding: happiness does not depend on objective conditions such as wealth, health or even community. It depends on the correlation between objective conditions and subjective expectations. If you want an ox-cart and get one, you are content. If you want a new sports car and get a second-hand family car, you feel deprived. When conditions improve, expectations balloon, so that large gains can leave satisfaction where it was. He adds that mass media and advertising may be draining our contentment by changing the people we compare ourselves with, from the fifty others in the village to the most successful people on earth. He also sets out the view that each person's mood moves within a range set by their biochemistry, and the Buddhist view that the trouble lies in craving itself. Likely to trip me up: I work on my conditions, and treat my expectations as fixed. Note: he summarises a large and debated literature, and the idea of a fixed biochemical range is simplified. (Source: Sapiens, Ch. 19.)
The Psychological Immune System (Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert): we adapt, in both directions. Man in the Car Paradox (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): the comparison you are running is not the one others see.
Mindset & Emotions
Happiness Is Conditions Against Expectations
Part Four, Ch. 19, And They Lived Happily Ever After. Page not verified (Harper, 2015).
Improve mental health / be happier; Stop comparing / social-media envy
04; 26
Plan: Each week I will write down one expectation that has risen in the past few years without my noticing, and what I used to be content with. I will cut my exposure to the single biggest source of inflated expectations in my day for one month, and rate my contentment weekly.
happiness, expectations, conditions, contentment, comparison, hedonic treadmill, rising standards, progress, media, advertising, satisfaction, enough, wealth, reference group, craving, adaptation, gratitude, deprivation, wants, wellbeing
Your life is better than it was five years ago by every measure, and you do not feel any better. Your expectations rose just as fast, fed by what you see online.
Name one thing you have now that you badly wanted five years ago. Then name the thing that replaced it on your wish list. Notice the pattern.
How you feel depends on the gap between your conditions and what you expect. When conditions improve, expectations rise to match.
Benjamin Franklin: An American Life
Single Model
Walter Isaacson
Not started
Thaw a cold relationship by asking for a small favour, where I would normally try flattery.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: when Franklin was clerk of the Pennsylvania Assembly, a new and influential member spoke against him. Franklin did not want to win him over by showing servile respect. Having heard that the man owned a very scarce and curious book, he wrote asking to borrow it for a few days. The book came at once. Franklin returned it within a week, with a note expressing his strong sense of the favour. The next time they met in the House the man spoke to him, which he had never done before, and with great civility, and they remained friends until the man died. Franklin drew from it an old maxim: someone who has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than someone whom you yourself have obliged. Psychologists later tested the idea in experiments and named the effect after him. Likely to trip me up: asking feels like an imposition, and my instinct is to give. Note: a biography, drawing on Franklin's own account. The later experiments supported the effect, though it is modest in size. (Source: Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, Ch. 5.)
Talk About What They Want (How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie): asking for someone's expertise honours it. Strokes (Games People Play, Eric Berne): a request for help is a form of recognition.
People & Communication
Ask a Favour
Ch. 5, Public Citizen: Philadelphia, 1731-1748, which covers the year of the episode, 1737. The place within the chapter is not verified. Franklin's own account is in his Autobiography. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2003).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: I will pick one person who is cool towards me and ask for a small favour that suits their expertise: a recommendation, the loan of a book, ten minutes of advice. I will thank them specifically and promptly, and note any change over the following month.
ben franklin effect, favour, rival, winning people over, asking for help, borrow a book, dislike, relationships, cognitive dissonance, goodwill, colleagues, enemies, thanks, persuasion, reconciliation, advice, small request, liking, influence, cold relationship
A colleague is cold towards you. You try being extra nice and doing them favours. Nothing changes, and you begin to resent the effort.
Think of one person who is cool towards you. Ask them for something small that they are well placed to give: a recommendation or some advice. Thank them well.
To win over someone who dislikes you, ask for a small favour. People come to like those they have helped, more than those who helped them.
Discipline Is Destiny
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Keep my new standards for myself, and stop handing them out to other people.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday takes the chapter title from the private notes of a Roman emperor, who set it as a rule for himself: be tolerant with others and strict with yourself. Holiday's argument is that discipline is a standard you choose for your own life. The moment you begin to demand it of others, it changes into something else: judgement, superiority and nagging. Other people have not agreed to your rules, they are fighting battles you know nothing about, and your example will do more for them than your criticism will. He says the truly disciplined are recognisable by this pairing. They are hard on themselves in private and generous towards others in public. Likely to trip me up: a newly acquired habit makes me a preacher, and I most want to correct in others the fault I have only just fixed in myself. Note: Holiday is a populariser of Stoic philosophy, and this is an ethical argument, not research. (Source: Discipline Is Destiny, Part III.)
Hanlon's Razor (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): assume the ordinary explanation for other people's lapses. The Window and the Mirror (Good to Great, Jim Collins): be strict in the mirror and generous at the window.
People & Communication
Tolerant with Others, Strict with Yourself
Part III, The Magisterial (The Soul), chapter 'Tolerant with Others. Strict with Yourself.' Page not verified (Portfolio, 2022).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: For one month I will not comment on anyone else's habits unless they ask me. Each time I feel the urge to correct someone, I will write down the standard I was about to enforce, and check how well I am keeping it myself.
tolerance, strictness, standards, judging others, self-discipline, preaching, criticism, nagging, example, humility, stoic, family, partner, colleagues, double standard, self-righteous, leading by example, patience, forgiveness, habits
You take up a new habit and within a week you are judging everyone who has not. The people around you start avoiding you, and your discipline has become a weapon.
Catch one moment today when you want to correct someone's habits. Say nothing. Ask yourself how well you are keeping that same standard.
Hold yourself to your standards and let other people off. Your discipline is for you. Imposed on others, it becomes self-righteousness.
Discipline Is Destiny
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Hold high standards without abusing myself when I miss them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: late in a book about self-control, Holiday turns to a warning. Discipline is not the same as punishing yourself. He draws on the Stoic writers, one of whom counted it as progress that he had begun to be a friend to himself. The person who meets each failure with contempt does not become more disciplined. They become afraid of failing, and then either stop attempting hard things or give up completely after a lapse. Holiday's standard is that of a good coach: demanding, honest about what went wrong, and clearly on your side. The test he suggests is to ask if you would speak in that way to someone you love who was trying hard. Likely to trip me up: I believe my harshness is what keeps me going, and fear that being kind will make me soft. Note: Holiday argues from philosophy and chosen stories. Separate research on self-compassion does find that it helps people recover from setbacks and try again, and does not make them lazy. (Source: Discipline Is Destiny, Part III.)
Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping (12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson): the same standard, turned inwards. The What-the-Hell Effect (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): harshness after a slip is what turns it into a binge.
Mindset & Emotions
Be Kind to Yourself
Part III, The Magisterial (The Soul), chapter 'Be Kind to Yourself'. Page not verified (Portfolio, 2022).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety
27; 04; 12
Plan: After any lapse I will write what I would say to a good friend in the same position, and say that to myself. I will then set the next small step. I will track how quickly I get back on plan, compared with the times I tore into myself.
self-compassion, inner critic, harshness, self-punishment, standards, lapse, recovery, friend to yourself, coach, kindness, perfectionism, shame, relapse, self-talk, discipline, failure, getting back up, encouragement, guilt, resilience
You miss one day and spend the evening calling yourself useless. The next day the habit feels like a courtroom, so you stay away from it.
Think of your last lapse. Write what you would say to a friend who had done the same. Read it back to yourself, then plan the next step.
Self-discipline is not self-punishment. Speak to yourself as you would to a friend who is trying hard. Harshness makes quitting more likely.
Benjamin Franklin: An American Life
Single Model
Walter Isaacson
Not started
Get my views heard by stating them as views.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: as a teenager in Boston, Franklin loved to argue and to win, and found that it made him disliked. He came across an account of the method of Socrates, gave up flat contradiction, and took on the role of a humble inquirer who asks questions. He later described the lasting habit he formed. He stopped using words such as 'certainly' and 'undoubtedly', and said 'I conceive', 'I apprehend' or 'it appears to me at present'. When someone said something he thought was wrong, he began by saying that in some cases they would be right, but that in this case there seemed to him to be a difference. He wrote that conversations became more pleasant, that his opinions were more readily accepted, and that it was less painful to be found in the wrong. He credited this habit with much of his influence in public life. Isaacson notes that some people found his manner sly. Likely to trip me up: when I am sure, tentative words feel false. Note: a biography resting on Franklin's own account of himself, which he shaped for effect. It is an example, not evidence. (Source: Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, Ch. 2.)
STATE My Path (Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and co-authors): 'talk tentatively' is the same advice. The Socratic Test (The Consolations of Philosophy, Alain de Botton): ask questions to test a belief.
People & Communication
Drop 'Certainly'
Ch. 2, Pilgrim's Progress: Boston, 1706-1723, which covers the years when Franklin adopted the habit. The place within the chapter is not verified. His own account is in his Autobiography. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2003).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: For two weeks I will ban 'certainly', 'obviously' and 'you are wrong' from my speech and messages, and use 'it seems to me' and 'I may be mistaken, but'. When I disagree, I will ask a question first. I will note how people respond.
humility, tentative language, arguing, persuasion, socratic method, it seems to me, contradiction, certainty, dogmatic, questions, influence, debate, disagreement, modesty, conversation, being wrong, tone, diplomacy, opinions, winning arguments
You state your opinion as a fact and contradict people directly. You win the argument, lose the person, and cannot back down when you turn out to be wrong.
In your next disagreement, begin with 'It seems to me that ...', or ask a question. Notice if the other person's shoulders come down.
Put your views as 'it seems to me', and ask questions. Avoid flat verdicts. People stop defending, and you stay free to change your mind.
The Wright Brothers
Single Model
David McCullough
Not started
Learn by doing, in many small and safe trials, and not by watching and planning.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: in 1901 Wilbur Wright was invited to address a society of engineers in Chicago. He told them that there were two ways of learning to ride a difficult horse. One is to get on him and learn by actual practice how each motion and trick may be best met. The other is to sit on a fence and watch the beast for a while, and then retire to the house and work out at leisure the best way of overcoming his jumps and kicks. The second is the safer, he said, and the first on the whole turns out the larger proportion of good riders. If you are looking for perfect safety, you will do well to sit on a fence and watch the birds. If you really wish to learn, you must mount a machine and become acquainted with its tricks by actual trial. McCullough shows that the brothers lived by this. They chose a remote beach with steady winds and soft sand so that they could make a great many short glides in safety, where earlier experimenters had managed only a few minutes in the air. Likely to trip me up: study feels like progress. Note: a narrative history. The events are documented, and the lesson drawn is my reading. (Source: The Wright Brothers, Ch. 4.)
The Sweet Spot (The Talent Code, Daniel Coyle): learning happens at the edge, making errors. Validated Learning (The Lean Startup, Eric Ries): only real trials teach you.
Learning & Knowledge
Mount the Machine
Ch. 4, Unyielding Resolve, which covers Wilbur Wright's speech to engineers in Chicago in September 1901. The place within the chapter is not verified. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2015).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill; Exercise / move daily
27; 17; 01
Plan: For the skill I am avoiding, I will set up the smallest and safest version of real practice and do it daily for ten minutes for a month. I will count attempts, not quality, and I will cap my reading about it at the same ten minutes.
learning by doing, practice, trial, fence sitting, theory, courage, horse riding, gliders, safe to fail, repetitions, action, tutorials, overplanning, fear, beginners, experiment, hands-on, skill, first attempt, risk
You read, watch tutorials and plan, and you call it learning. You have never once tried the thing itself, since trying is where you might look foolish.
Pick the skill you keep studying. Do the smallest real attempt at it today, for ten minutes, somewhere it is safe to fail.
You cannot learn to ride from the fence. For safety, watch. To learn, get on, in small and frequent trials, and meet its tricks first hand.
The Hard Thing About Hard Things
Single Model
Ben Horowitz
Not started
See my comfortable short cuts with people as loans, and pay them back while they are small.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Horowitz borrows a term from software. Engineers speak of technical debt: a quick and dirty solution saves time now, and has to be paid for later with interest, in slower work and more faults. He says managers run up the same kind of debt when they make a short-term decision that is convenient now and costly later. He gives three examples. Putting two people into one job, since you cannot bring yourself to choose between them, so that nobody knows who decides. Paying one person far over the odds to stop them leaving, so that everyone else learns that threatening to quit is the way to get a rise. And skipping feedback and appraisal because things are busy, until nobody knows where they stand. Sometimes, he says, taking on the debt is the right choice, so long as you know you are doing it. Likely to trip me up: the saving is immediate and visible, and the interest is quiet. Note: one executive's framing, from experience and not from research. The idea transfers easily to families and friendships. (Source: The Hard Thing About Hard Things, Ch. 5.)
Shifting the Burden: The Addiction Trap (Thinking in Systems, Donella Meadows): the quick fix weakens the real one. Fix It at the Lowest-Value Stage (High Output Management, Andrew S. Grove): problems are cheapest early.
Systems & Strategy
Management Debt
Ch. 5, Take Care of the People, the Products, and the Profits, in That Order, section 'Management Debt'. Page not verified (Harper Business, 2014).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus
25; 13; 07
Plan: I will list the places where I have dodged a hard decision or a hard conversation, at work and at home. I will rank them by how fast the cost is growing, and deal with the top one within two weeks.
management debt, technical debt, short cuts, quick fix, avoided conversation, interest, consequences, exceptions, precedent, feedback, unclear roles, hard decisions, postponing, compounding problems, expedient, team, family, fairness, trade-off, later cost
You avoid the awkward decision: you make an exception, leave roles unclear, skip the feedback. It works today. Months later it costs ten times as much.
Name one hard conversation or decision you have been avoiding with a convenient short cut. Put it in your calendar for this week.
A quick fix that avoids a hard conversation is a loan. It feels free today, and you repay it later with interest. Pay it off early.
The Hard Thing About Hard Things
Single Model
Ben Horowitz
Not started
Stop searching for a trick, and do the plain hard work the problem needs.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Horowitz tells of a time when a rival's product was beating his company's in deal after deal. His ablest people came to him with clever ways out: buy another company, move to a different market, change the sales channel. He told them that there were no silver bullets for this, only lead bullets. The product was not good enough, and the only answer was to go through the front door and make it better, which meant months of grinding engineering work. They did, and it saved the company. He says there comes a time in every company's life when it must fight for its life, and that if you find yourself running when you should be fighting, you should ask what makes you think you are good enough to win at all. Likely to trip me up: looking for the clever route feels like strategy, and it is often avoidance. Note: one executive's story from a company that survived. Sometimes a change of direction is right, and other rows in this database cover that. (Source: The Hard Thing About Hard Things, Ch. 4.)
The Nothing Alternative (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): take away the escape routes. First Things First (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): courage, more than analysis, sets priorities.
Productivity & Focus
Lead Bullets
Ch. 4, When Things Fall Apart, section 'Lead Bullets'. The section starts on p. 88 (Harper Business, 2014, from a library contents listing).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
07; 13; 27
Plan: When I catch myself researching tools, hacks or a change of direction in order to avoid a hard task, I will write down the direct route, however dull, and give it my first ninety minutes for ten working days.
lead bullets, silver bullet, hard work, shortcuts, hacks, avoidance, grind, direct approach, quality, competition, tools, tricks, facing the problem, productivity porn, fundamentals, effort, front door, no magic, persistence, core problem
Your work is not good enough yet, and you know it. You spend your energy hunting for a new tool, a trick or a new direction that lets you skip fixing it.
Name the hard problem you are trying to get round. Write the plain, direct fix. Give it your first ninety minutes tomorrow, and the day after.
There is no silver bullet for a hard problem. Stop hunting for the clever way round it, and fire many plain lead bullets straight at it.
The Wright Brothers
Single Model
David McCullough
Not started
When the accepted figures do not match what I see, check the figures with a cheap test of my own.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: McCullough describes the brothers' worst moment. Their glider of 1901 had been built on the best published figures for the lift of a curved wing, the work of a respected German pioneer. It produced about a third of the lift those figures predicted. On the train home Wilbur said that man would not fly in a thousand years. What they did next is the heart of the story. They did not give up, and they did not go on trusting the tables. In the back of their bicycle shop they built a wooden wind tunnel about six feet long, with a fan driven by the shop's engine, and balances made from old hacksaw blades and bicycle spokes. Over a couple of months they tested some two hundred wing shapes and produced their own tables. The glider they built from those numbers the following year flew as calculated. Likely to trip me up: assuming that the experts must be right and my results must be wrong, or the reverse, without running a test. Note: a narrative history. The events are documented, and the lesson drawn is my reading. (Source: The Wright Brothers, Ch. 4.)
Spotting Bad Science (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): received numbers deserve checking. The Eight-Glasses Myth (The Body, Bill Bryson): another famous figure with no real source.
Thinking & Reasoning
Test the Tables Yourself
Ch. 4, Unyielding Resolve, which covers the wind tunnel experiments of late 1901. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2015).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: I will pick one 'everyone knows' number in my field that my experience contradicts. I will design the cheapest test I can, run it for two weeks, record the results, and only then decide which to trust.
test it yourself, accepted data, wind tunnel, verification, experiments, authority, measurement, first principles, own data, contradiction, cheap test, scepticism, tables, evidence, checking sources, bicycle shop, persistence, assumptions, calibration, trust
Your results do not match what the books say should happen. You assume that you are the one at fault, and either give up or keep following the book.
Name one accepted figure or rule in your field that your own experience contradicts. Sketch the cheapest test that would show which is right.
When your results contradict the accepted numbers, test the numbers. The brothers found the standard data wrong and built a wind tunnel.
The Wright Brothers
Single Model
David McCullough
Not started
Begin any new field by gathering what is already known, and by watching closely those who already do it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: McCullough tells how the brothers' interest in flight became serious in 1899. Wilbur wrote to the Smithsonian Institution saying that he wished to get hold of everything already known on the subject and asking for its published papers and a list of other works, adding that he was an enthusiast but not a crank. The brothers read everything that came. At the same time they watched birds for hours, which the earlier experimenters had also recommended. Wilbur noticed that soaring birds kept their balance by twisting the tips of their wings. That observation, which he demonstrated to Orville by twisting a long cardboard box, gave them their method of control, wing warping. It was the key that others had missed. Reading told them what was known. Watching gave them what was not. Likely to trip me up: my eagerness to start building. Note: McCullough is a narrative historian, and the events are well documented. The lesson drawn from them here is my reading, not a claim the book makes. (Source: The Wright Brothers, Ch. 2.)
Gather Specific and General Materials (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): first fill the mind. Triangulate with Believable People (Principles, Ray Dalio): go to those who have done it.
Learning & Knowledge
Watch the Birds First
Ch. 2, The Dream Takes Hold, which covers 1899 and 1900. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2015).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: Before I start my next project I will do two things. I will write to one expert or institution asking for the best reading list. And I will spend a week observing three people or things that already do it well, with a notebook, before I build anything.
research first, observation, reading list, watching experts, birds, prior knowledge, beginners, letter, asking, study, preparation, wing warping, notebook, learn from nature, literature review, starting out, fundamentals, curiosity, masters, groundwork
You are keen, so you start building at once. Months later you find that others had already solved your problems, or that you misunderstood the basics.
For the thing you want to learn, write to one person or institution today and ask for the best reading list. Then watch an expert for an hour.
Before building, study those who already do it well, and ask for everything already written. The brothers watched birds and wrote for books.
Benjamin Franklin: An American Life
Single Model
Walter Isaacson
Not started
Learn alongside a few serious people, on a fixed schedule.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: at twenty-one, Franklin formed a club of about a dozen young tradesmen in Philadelphia, which he called the Junto. They met on Friday evenings. Members took turns to bring questions on morals, politics or natural science for discussion, and once every three months each had to read an essay of his own. Franklin wrote a list of standing questions for each meeting, such as: have you met with anything in what you last read that is worth passing on? Do you know of a fellow citizen who has lately done something worthy? Is there any way the group can help you? The rules forbade direct contradiction and dogmatic statements, with small fines for breaking them. The club lasted for decades. From it came a subscription library, a fire company and other public projects, and its members sent business each other's way. Likely to trip me up: such groups slide into chat unless there is a structure and someone who keeps it. Note: a biography, drawing on Franklin's own account. It is an example, not research, though studies of peer learning support the idea. (Source: Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, Ch. 4.)
The Braintrust (Creativity, Inc., Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace): a standing group for candid help. A Truthseeking Group (Thinking in Bets, Annie Duke): agree on the rules of the conversation in advance.
Learning & Knowledge
The Junto
Ch. 4, Printer: Philadelphia, 1726-1732. Franklin founded the Junto in 1727. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2003).
Read / learn more; Spend time with family/friends; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 14; 17
Plan: I will invite three or four people who are working on themselves to meet every two weeks for ninety minutes. Each meeting will have two standing questions: what have you learned since last time, and where are you stuck? I will run it for three months.
junto, mastermind, study group, peer learning, club, discussion, mutual improvement, accountability, standing questions, friends, reading group, community, networking, regular meeting, essays, rules of debate, tradesmen, self-education, support, growth
You read and try to improve alone. Nobody questions your ideas, nobody passes on what they have found, and your motivation depends on you alone.
Name three people who are also trying to get better at something. Message one today and propose a meeting every two weeks with a fixed set of questions.
Form a small standing group that meets on a schedule to ask questions, share what each has learned, and help one another improve.
Sapiens
Single Model
Yuval Noah Harari
Not started
Keep a map of what I do not know, and treat it as the most useful map I have.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Harari argues that the scientific revolution was above all a revolution of ignorance. Earlier traditions of knowledge held that everything important was already known, to the gods, the scriptures or the sages, and that whatever was not in them did not matter. Modern science began with the admission, in his phrase, that we do not know: that our most important questions are open, and that even what we think we know may be shown to be wrong. He illustrates it with maps. Old world maps filled unknown regions with monsters and invented lands. In the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries Europeans began to draw maps with large empty spaces, which was an open admission of ignorance and an invitation to go and look. The willingness to say 'we do not know', joined to observation and mathematics, is what he credits with the enormous growth in human power that followed. Likely to trip me up: not knowing feels like being exposed, so I fill the blanks with confident guesses. Note: a broad synthesis, and historians of science would call this account too tidy. As a stance towards learning, it is sound. (Source: Sapiens, Ch. 14.)
Your Two Barriers: Ego and Blind Spots (Principles, Ray Dalio): the ego hates an empty map. The Curiosity Gap (Made to Stick, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): a named gap is what drives curiosity.
Learning & Knowledge
The Discovery of Ignorance
Part Four, Ch. 14, The Discovery of Ignorance. Page not verified (Harper, 2015).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: For the field I am learning, I will keep a running page headed 'I do not know'. Each week I will add three honest gaps and close one through reading or by asking someone. I will say 'I do not know' aloud at least once a day when it is true.
ignorance, we do not know, curiosity, learning, empty maps, science, humility, questions, bluffing, open questions, research, beginner, admitting, unknowns, inquiry, knowledge gaps, pretending, exploration, doubt, discovery
You nod along in the meeting, bluff through the conversation, and never ask the basic question. Your map has no blank spaces, so you never explore.
Write down three things in your field that you pretend to understand. Pick one, and spend twenty minutes finding out today.
Progress began when people said 'we do not know' and went to look. Admitting ignorance is the start of learning anything, not a weakness.
Discipline Is Destiny
Single Model
Ryan Holiday
Not started
Plan my rest as seriously as my work, so that I can keep going for years.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Holiday argues that self-discipline includes the discipline to stop. He draws on professional sport, where the practice of resting the best players on purpose during a long season was mocked at first and then widely copied, since it kept them healthy for the games that counted and added years to their careers. His point is that anyone can go flat out for a short time, and that the aim is to be able to do good work for decades. That takes pacing: knowing your limits, building in recovery, and saying no to extra load even when you could carry it today. He treats overwork as a failure of discipline, just as laziness is. Likely to trip me up: rest feels like weakness, and a free slot in my week looks like room for one more thing. Note: Holiday is a populariser who argues from chosen stories, not research. Sports science does support planned recovery. (Source: Discipline Is Destiny, Part I.)
Stress Is a Dose (Spark, John J. Ratey): the benefit comes in the recovery. The Minimum Effective Dose (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): more than the needed dose is waste or harm.
Habits & Behavior Change
Manage the Load
Part I, The Exterior (The Body), chapter 'Manage the Load'. Starts on p. 75 (Portfolio, 2022, from the book's contents pages).
Exercise / move daily; Manage stress / anxiety; Sleep better
01; 12; 05
Plan: I will schedule one full rest day a week and one light week in every six, for training and for my side project. I will track energy and output across twelve weeks, and compare it with a period when I pushed without breaks.
rest, recovery, load management, burnout, pacing, overwork, overtraining, longevity, rest day, limits, sustainability, career, saying no, energy, marathon not sprint, discipline to stop, deload, exhaustion, breaks, balance
You treat every day as a sprint and take pride in never stopping. After some months you are injured, ill or burnt out, and you lose far more than the rest would have cost.
Look at your next four weeks. Mark one full rest day in each week and one lighter week. Treat them as fixed appointments.
Rest is part of the work. Going flat out every single day shortens the career. Plan your recovery with the same discipline as your effort.
The Hard Thing About Hard Things
Single Model
Ben Horowitz
Not started
Recognise the worst stretch of a project as a normal stage, so I do not read it as proof that I should stop.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Horowitz gives a name to the period when a venture is failing and its leader cannot see a way out. He calls it the Struggle. It is when you wonder why you started, when people ask why you do not quit and you have no answer, and when food loses its taste and sleep does not come. He says every founder he knows has been through it, and that it is where greatness comes from. His advice is short. Do not carry it all on your own shoulders: share the burden with those who can help. Remember that it is a game of many moves, and that there is always a move. Play long enough and you may get lucky, since circumstances change. And do not take it personally. Likely to trip me up: hiding how bad things are, which leaves me alone with it. Note: Horowitz is a venture capitalist writing from his own years as the chief executive of one company. It is a memoir of someone who survived, not research. If a bad stretch turns into persistent low mood or loss of sleep, that is a matter for a doctor. (Source: The Hard Thing About Hard Things, Ch. 4.)
The Stockdale Paradox (Good to Great, Jim Collins): faith in the end, brutal facts today. No Fulfilment Without Difficulty (The Consolations of Philosophy, Alain de Botton): the hard stretch is part of anything worth having.
Mindset & Emotions
The Struggle
Ch. 4, When Things Fall Apart, section 'The Struggle'. The section starts on p. 60 (Harper Business, 2014, from a library contents listing).
Manage stress / anxiety; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 27; 04
Plan: When a project reaches the point where nothing works and I want to quit, I will write 'this is the Struggle' at the top of my notes, tell one person exactly how bad it is, and list every move still open to me, however small.
the struggle, hardship, quitting, founder, despair, resilience, persistence, low point, stress, side project, doubt, isolation, there is always a move, setbacks, burden, endurance, failing, sleepless, keep going, normal
Your project hits a wall. Nothing works, you cannot sleep, and you take it as a sign that you were never cut out for this. You tell nobody.
If you are in a stretch like this, tell one trusted person how bad it really is. Then write down every move still open to you, however small.
Every hard project has a stretch where nothing works and you want to quit. It is normal, and it is where you grow. Do not carry it alone.
Benjamin Franklin: An American Life
Single Model
Walter Isaacson
Not started
Get my proposals adopted by caring less about whose they are.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: when Franklin set out to raise subscriptions for a lending library, he met resistance. He worked out that people dislike backing a useful project if the person proposing it seems likely to gain in reputation above his neighbours. So, in his own words, he put himself as much as he could out of sight, and presented it as the scheme of a number of friends who had asked him to go round and propose it to lovers of reading. The subscriptions then went smoothly, and he used the same approach ever after for his civic projects. He observed that the small sacrifice of vanity is amply repaid later. If it remains uncertain for a while to whom the credit belongs, someone vainer than yourself will claim it, and then envy itself will be disposed to do you justice by restoring it to its right owner. Likely to trip me up: I want it known that the idea was mine. Note: a biography, drawing on Franklin's own account of himself. It is an example, not research. (Source: Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, Ch. 5.)
The Window and the Mirror (Good to Great, Jim Collins): give the credit outwards. Fair Process (Blue Ocean Strategy, W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne): people support what they had a hand in.
People & Communication
Put Yourself Out of Sight
Ch. 5, Public Citizen: Philadelphia, 1731-1748, which covers the founding of the subscription library in 1731. The place within the chapter is not verified. Franklin's own account is in his Autobiography. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2003).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised
25; 13
Plan: For my next proposal I will talk first to three people privately, take in their changes, and present it as something several of us have been working on. I will note how it is received compared with ideas I have pushed under my own name.
credit, vanity, proposals, persuasion, group idea, envy, humility, buy-in, community projects, leadership, ego, getting things done, ownership, recognition, coalition, behind the scenes, influence, library, modesty, shared idea
You present your proposal as your own idea. People who would gain from it resist it, since backing it would raise you above them.
Before you pitch your next idea, share it privately with two people and take in their suggestions. Present it as 'something a few of us have been thinking about'.
When you propose a project, present it as the idea of a group of friends. Give up the credit at the start, and the thing gets done.
Benjamin Franklin: An American Life
Single Model
Walter Isaacson
Not started
Work on my character one trait at a time, with a chart I fill in every evening.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: in his twenties Franklin set himself what he called the bold and arduous project of arriving at moral perfection. He listed thirteen virtues, each with a one-line definition: temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquillity, chastity and humility. He saw that trying to work on all of them at once would fail, so he took one each week and left the rest to chance. He ruled a small book into a chart with a row for each virtue and a column for each day, and marked a black spot every evening for each fault. Thirteen weeks made a course, and he ran four courses a year. He admitted that he never came near perfection, that order defeated him altogether, and that a friend had to tell him to add humility. He concluded all the same that he was a better and a happier man for having tried. Likely to trip me up: taking on too many traits, and giving up at the first bad week. Note: a biography, drawing on Franklin's own account. It is an example, not research, though tracking your own behaviour is a well-supported method. (Source: Benjamin Franklin: An American Life, Ch. 4.)
Keep Score (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): what gets marked down gets better. Score, Assess, Reflect (Measure What Matters, John Doerr): review at the end of each cycle.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Thirteen Virtues Chart
Ch. 4, Printer: Philadelphia, 1726-1732, where Isaacson describes the moral perfection project. Franklin's own account is in his Autobiography. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2003).
Journal / self-reflect; Be more productive / organised; Improve mental health / be happier
24; 13; 04
Plan: I will choose five traits, not thirteen, and write one line defining each. I will focus on one a week, mark a dot each evening for every lapse, and repeat the five-week cycle four times. I will judge it on the trend in the dots.
thirteen virtues, character, chart, habit tracker, one at a time, weekly focus, self-improvement, evening review, lapses, moral perfection, journal, tracking, virtues, imperfection, cycle, order, humility, progress, dots, self-examination
You want to be a better person in a dozen ways at once. You try to fix them all together, track nothing, and in a month cannot say if anything changed.
Write down five traits you want, each with a one-line definition. Pick one for this week. Tonight, mark a dot for each time you slipped.
List the few traits you want. Work on one a week and mark each lapse on a chart. You will not reach perfection, and you will get better.
Blue Ocean Strategy
Single Model
W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne
Not started
Make a big change with little time or money by concentrating effort where it spreads.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors studied a police chief who turned round several large forces within about two years, and without a bigger budget. They call his approach tipping point leadership. It assumes that in any organisation a few people, acts and activities have an outsized influence on the whole, so concentration beats spreading effort evenly. They describe four hurdles and his way round each. To get people to see the problem, he made senior officials experience it in person, which for the transit police meant riding the underground at night. To get round a shortage of resources, he moved officers from quiet areas to the few hot spots. To motivate a large force, he concentrated on the key commanders and reviewed their results in front of their peers. To deal with opposition, he identified in advance who would win and who would lose from the change. Likely to trip me up: spreading effort evenly feels fair and thorough. Note: a case study by the authors. How much of that city's fall in crime was due to this chief is debated, since crime fell across the country at the time. (Source: Blue Ocean Strategy, Ch. 7.)
Leverage Points (Thinking in Systems, Donella Meadows): a few places matter far more than the rest. The Power Law (Zero to One, Peter Thiel): results are concentrated, so effort should be as well.
Systems & Strategy
Tipping Point Leadership
Part Three, Ch. 7, Overcome Key Organizational Hurdles. Page not verified (Harvard Business School Press, 2005).
Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 17
Plan: For the change I want, I will name the few places where most of the problem sits and the few people whose example others follow. I will put nearly all my effort there for a month, and move effort away from areas that are already fine.
tipping point leadership, concentration, hot spots, kingpins, limited resources, change, influence, see it yourself, reallocation, motivation, opposition, turnaround, focus, few key people, first-hand experience, budget, leadership, hurdles, outsized impact, spread
You want to change something large and have little time, money or authority. You spread your effort thinly across all of it, and nothing moves.
For one change you want, write down the three places where most of the problem sits and the three people others copy. Start only there.
Big change on few resources: find the few people, places and acts with outsized influence, put everything there, and let it spread.
Learning How to Learn
Single Model
Barbara Oakley and Terrence Sejnowski, with Alistair McConville
Not started
Stop reading my slowness as a lack of ability.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors compare two kinds of learner. The race-car brain gets to the finish quickly. The hiker brain gets there much later. The driver sees the scenery as a blur, while the hiker can touch the leaves, smell the air and notice small tracks on the path. Slower thinkers, they say, often understand a subject more deeply for having had to work through it, and they can see problems with an idea that a faster thinker has raced past. They make a related point about memory. People with weaker working memory cannot hold as much in mind at once, so other thoughts slip in more easily, and that can make them more creative. They note that a celebrated brain scientist described himself as a slow learner with a poor memory. Their message to a young reader is that a trait which looks like a weakness may have a strength attached to it. Likely to trip me up: schools and workplaces reward speed, so the comparison is always with the race cars. Note: the authors draw on cognitive research, but this particular contrast is an encouraging metaphor more than a measured finding. (Source: Learning How to Learn, Ch. 14.)
Focused and Diffuse Modes (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): slow, wandering thought has its own job. Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday (12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson): the only fair race.
Learning & Knowledge
Race-Car Brains and Hiker Brains
Ch. 14, Learning Surprises: Pssst ... Your Worst Traits Can Be Your Best Traits! Page not verified (TarcherPerigee, 2018).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill; Stop comparing / social-media envy
27; 17; 26
Plan: When I am slower than others at something, I will write down what I noticed along the way that they may have missed. I will give myself a time allowance that fits my pace, and judge the result at the end and not the speed.
slow learner, fast learner, race car, hiker, speed, depth, comparison, self-doubt, working memory, creativity, thoroughness, confidence, school, pace, intelligence, understanding, weakness as strength, patience, students, details
Someone beside you gets it in a minute and you need ten. You conclude that you are not clever enough, and stop putting your hand up.
Think of something you learned slowly. Write down two things you understand about it that a faster learner probably missed.
Fast thinkers reach the answer first and miss things. Slow thinkers take longer and see more along the way. Slow is not the same as worse.
Learning How to Learn
Single Model
Barbara Oakley and Terrence Sejnowski, with Alistair McConville
Not started
Get more out of every chapter by looking over the whole of it before I read.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors advise that before reading a chapter you take a picture walk through it. You glance at the headings, the pictures and diagrams, the summary at the end and any questions. It takes a minute or two. They explain that this gives the brain a rough outline of where the chapter is going, so that the details have somewhere to attach when you read properly. They pair it with a few other reading habits: read with care, go easy on the highlighter, and then look away and try to recall the main ideas, since pulling them out of your own memory is what builds the links. The book is written for readers aged about ten to seventeen, and the advice applies just as well to adults. Likely to trip me up: it feels like cheating or like a delay, so I skip it and start at the first line. Note: the authors are an engineering professor and a neuroscientist, and the book rests on research in cognitive psychology. Previewing and recall are both well supported. (Source: Learning How to Learn.)
The Curiosity Gap (Made to Stick, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): a preview opens the questions the text will answer. The Velcro Theory of Memory (Made to Stick, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): give the detail hooks to cling to.
Learning & Knowledge
The Picture Walk
Introduced in the opening chapters of the book. The exact chapter is not verified: I recall Ch. 1, The Problem with Passion, and one reader's notes place it in Ch. 2 (TarcherPerigee, 2018).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: Before each chapter I will spend two minutes on a picture walk and write one line on what I expect it to say. After reading, I will close the book and recall the main points, and compare them with my one line.
picture walk, preview, skim, headings, reading, textbook, study, chapter, summary first, outline, comprehension, students, teens, recall, highlighting, big picture, before reading, questions, learning, structure
You start at the first word and push through to the last. Half way in you have lost the thread, since you never knew where the chapter was heading.
Before your next chapter, take two minutes: look at every heading, picture and the end summary. Say in one sentence what you expect it to argue.
Before reading a chapter, skim it first: headings, pictures, summary, questions. The preview gives your brain hooks to hang the detail on.
Talking to Strangers
Single Model
Malcolm Gladwell
Not started
Separate how someone comes across from what is true about them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gladwell returns to the lie-detection research. The researcher found that observers are not bad at everyone. They are very accurate with 'matched' people, whose manner fits their state: the liar who looks shifty, the honest person who looks calm. They are badly wrong with 'mismatched' people: the liar who seems open and warm, and the honest person who happens to be nervous, awkward or oddly cheerful. Trained investigators did no better on the mismatched cases, and were more confident in their wrong answers. Gladwell uses this to explain a well-known case in which a young woman was convicted of murder and later fully cleared. She had behaved in ways that people felt an innocent person would not, and that impression stood in for evidence. Likely to trip me up: I trust my gut about people, and my gut is reading demeanour. Note: Gladwell is a journalist, and some of his other case readings in this book have been criticised. The matched and mismatched finding comes from published research. (Source: Talking to Strangers, Ch. 7.)
Master My Stories (Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and co-authors): separate what you saw from the story you told. The Transparency Illusion (Talking to Strangers, Malcolm Gladwell): the assumption that makes mismatched people so costly.
People & Communication
Mismatched People
Part Three, Transparency, Ch. 7, A (Short) Explanation of the Amanda Knox Case. Page not verified (Little, Brown, 2019).
Improve relationships / communicate; Stop overthinking / rumination
25; 15
Plan: When I form a strong negative impression of someone from their manner, I will write down what they actually said and did, apart from how they seemed. I will hold the verdict until I have one fact that does not depend on their demeanour.
mismatched, demeanour, first impressions, nervous, awkward, judging honesty, gut feeling, interviews, innocent, guilty, confidence, odd behaviour, trust, misjudging, shy, social anxiety, evidence, manner, snap judgement, wrongly accused
Someone is fidgety, flat or oddly cheerful in a serious moment. You decide they are lying or do not care. It may only be their manner.
Think of someone you distrust because of how they come across. Write what they have actually done, leaving out how they seemed. Re-read it.
We judge honesty by demeanour. People whose manner does not match their inner state, such as the nervous innocent, get judged wrongly.
Willpower
Single Model
Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney
Not started
Stop one slip from turning into a lost day or a lost week.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors describe experiments from a laboratory that studies dieting. People were first given milkshakes to drink, and then offered ice cream to 'taste and rate' for as long as they liked. People who were not dieting behaved as you would expect: the more milkshake they had had, the less ice cream they ate. Dieters did the opposite. Those who had been given a large milkshake went on to eat more ice cream than dieters who had had none. The researchers' formal name for this is counterregulatory eating. Among themselves they call it the what-the-hell effect. Once the day's limit has been broken, the day is classed as a failure, and so there seems no reason to hold back. The authors point out that the first slip is usually trivial. The reaction to it does the harm. Likely to trip me up: strict daily targets, which turn every small lapse into a broken rule. Note: the wider book rests on a theory of willpower that failed large replications. This finding is separate, and comes from other researchers' published work on dieting. (Source: Willpower, Ch. 10.)
Failure Is an Event, Not an Identity (Mindset, Carol Dweck): a slip is information and not a verdict. Beware the Finish Line (Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin): another point at which people let go entirely.
Habits & Behavior Change
The What-the-Hell Effect
Ch. 10, The Perfect Storm of Dieting. Starts on p. 214 (Penguin Press, 2011, from the publisher's contents listing).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Lose weight; Drink less alcohol
19; 08; 11
Plan: I will write my slip rule in advance: after any lapse, the very next choice goes back to plan, and nothing is 'made up for' or written off. I will log each slip and what I did in the following hour.
what the hell effect, slip, lapse, binge, dieting, relapse, all or nothing, ruined day, counterregulatory eating, streak broken, guilt, recovery, next choice, overeating, drinking, giving up, perfectionism, cheat, restart, failure spiral
You eat one biscuit off plan, think 'I have blown it now', and finish the packet. One drink becomes five, by exactly the same reasoning.
Write your slip rule now, while you are calm: 'After a slip, my very next choice goes back to plan.' Put it where the slips happen.
After one slip, people on a strict plan decide the day is ruined and binge. The slip does little harm. The reaction to it does the damage.
Talking to Strangers
Single Model
Malcolm Gladwell
Not started
Keep trusting people, and add checks where the stakes are high.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gladwell presents the work of a psychologist who has spent years filming people as they lie or tell the truth about cheating on a test, and then asking others to tell which is which. Viewers score only a little better than chance. The researcher's explanation is that humans default to truth. Our working assumption is that the people we deal with are honest. We abandon it only when doubts build up to a point where we can no longer explain them away. Gladwell tells how a spy worked inside an American intelligence agency for years. Colleagues noticed odd things about her, and each time they found an innocent explanation. His conclusion is not that we should become suspicious. A society where nobody trusted anybody could not function, and those who default to truth are right nearly all the time. The price is that now and then we will be deceived. Likely to trip me up: swinging to suspicion after being fooled once. Note: Gladwell is a journalist, and his readings of some cases in this book have been criticised. The research he builds on here is published and well regarded. (Source: Talking to Strangers, Ch. 3.)
Hanlon's Razor (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): the innocent explanation is usually right, which is why it works on us. What You See Is All There Is (WYSIATI) (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): we build a coherent story from what we have.
Biases & Blind Spots
Default to Truth
Part Two, Default to Truth, Ch. 3, The Queen of Cuba. Page not verified (Little, Brown, 2019).
Improve relationships / communicate; Build emergency fund / invest
25; 20
Plan: I will keep my default of trust in everyday dealings. For anything involving large sums, contracts or my safety, I will not rely on my reading of the person. I will use independent checks: references, records, a second opinion.
default to truth, trust, lying, deception, lie detection, fraud, scams, doubt, suspicion, gullible, red flags, explaining away, strangers, verification, references, betrayal, society, honesty, checks, due diligence
Something about the deal or the person feels slightly off. You find a reasonable explanation each time. Later, it all looks obvious.
For one high-stakes dealing, list the small doubts you have explained away. If there are three or more, check one fact independently.
We assume people are honest until the doubts pile too high to explain away. It makes us easy to fool, and it is also what lets society work.
Willpower
Single Model
Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney
Not started
Quiet the nagging of unfinished tasks by planning them, since I cannot finish them all tonight.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors describe an old finding from a Berlin café. Waiters remembered orders perfectly until the bill was paid, and then forgot them at once. Unfinished tasks stay active in the mind and keep breaking into other thoughts. They then report experiments by Baumeister's own group. People with an unfinished goal were distracted while trying to read something else. People who were first allowed to make a specific plan for finishing the goal were not distracted, even though the task itself was still undone. The authors' reading is that the unconscious mind is not nagging you to finish the task. It is asking the conscious mind to make a plan: what, when and where. Once the plan exists, the nagging stops. Likely to trip me up: vague plans, such as 'deal with it soon', which leave the loop open. Note: this book is built around the theory that willpower runs on a limited fuel, which failed large replication attempts. I have chosen models from it that do not depend on that theory. This one rests on published experiments. (Source: Willpower, Ch. 3.)
Open Loops (Capture Everything) (Getting Things Done, David Allen): the practice this research explains. What Is the Next Action? (Getting Things Done, David Allen): the form a plan needs to take.
Productivity & Focus
A Plan Quiets the Nag
Ch. 3, A Brief History of the To-Do List, From God to Drew Carey. Starts on p. 61 (Penguin Press, 2011, from the publisher's contents listing).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Be more productive / organised; Sleep better
15; 13; 05
Plan: Each evening I will write every open task that is on my mind and, next to each, the specific next step and when I will take it. I will note how often they still intrude at bedtime, compared with the week before.
zeigarnik effect, unfinished tasks, planning, intrusive thoughts, to-do list, open loops, worry, bedtime, specific plan, next step, mental clutter, rumination, nagging, focus, goals, overwhelm, evening routine, distraction, when and where, closure
Unfinished tasks circle in your head while you try to read, rest or sleep. You cannot do them all tonight, so you assume the noise cannot stop.
Tonight, write down each task that is nagging you. Beside each, write the next physical step and the day you will take it. Then close the notebook.
Unfinished tasks keep intruding on your mind. You do not have to finish them to stop it. Making a specific plan for each is enough.
Blue Ocean Strategy
Single Model
W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne
Not started
Redesign my week, or my work, with four plain questions.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors give four questions for rebuilding what you offer. Which factors that the industry takes for granted should be eliminated? Which should be reduced well below the usual standard? Which should be raised well above it? And which should be created that the industry has never offered? They set the answers out in a four-box grid. The first two questions cut cost, and the last two add value. They say most firms only ever ask the third. Their example is a wine brand that dropped the technical vocabulary and the emphasis on ageing, reduced its range to a couple of bottles, and created a wine that was easy to choose and easy to drink, for people who had found wine intimidating. They insist on filling all four boxes, since a grid with nothing under eliminate and reduce is simply a list of extra work. The same four questions can be asked of a weekly schedule or a product. Likely to trip me up: adding is pleasant and cutting is painful, so the left-hand boxes stay empty. Note: a planning tool from the authors' consulting and case research, not a tested method. (Source: Blue Ocean Strategy, Ch. 2.)
Via Negativa (Antifragile, Nassim Nicholas Taleb): improvement by removal comes first. First Things First (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): deciding what to stop is the hard part.
Systems & Strategy
The Four Actions Framework
Part One, Ch. 2, Analytical Tools and Frameworks. Page not verified (Harvard Business School Press, 2005).
Be more productive / organised; Limit multitasking / context-switching; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 28; 17
Plan: Once a quarter I will draw the four-box grid for my week and fill every box, starting with eliminate. I will not allow a 'create' item unless an 'eliminate' or 'reduce' item pays for its time.
eliminate, reduce, raise, create, four actions, errc grid, redesign, simplify, cut, add, strategy, weekly schedule, offer, product, priorities, subtraction, focus, overload, stop doing, reinvent
When you want to improve something, you only ever add: more features, more commitments, more effort. Nothing is ever taken out, so it all gets heavier.
Draw four boxes for your week: eliminate, reduce, raise, create. Put at least one item in each, and fill the first two before the last two.
Ask four questions of any offering, or any week: what can I eliminate, what can I reduce, what should I raise, and what should I create?
Blue Ocean Strategy
Single Model
W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne
Not started
Get real cooperation with my decisions, at home and at work, by making the process fair.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors build on research about fairness which shows that people care about how a decision is made as much as about what is decided. They name three elements. Engagement means involving people in decisions that affect them, by asking for their input and letting them challenge ideas. Explanation means telling everyone why the final decision was made as it was. Clarity of expectation means stating the new rules plainly once the decision is made. When all three are present, people feel recognised, and they cooperate willingly even with outcomes they did not want. When any is missing, they resist, even when the decision helps them. The authors tell of a factory where a well-designed change collapsed because managers brought in consultants without a word of explanation, while a second factory run by the same company introduced the same change smoothly by doing the three things. Likely to trip me up: when I am sure I am right, consulting feels like a waste of time. Note: this rests on a solid body of research on procedural fairness, as well as on the authors' cases. (Source: Blue Ocean Strategy, Ch. 8.)
What Seems Fair? (Misbehaving, Richard H. Thaler): people punish what feels unfair, even at a cost to themselves. The Pool of Shared Meaning (Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and co-authors): people act on what they helped to shape.
People & Communication
Fair Process
Part Three, Ch. 8, Build Execution into Strategy. Page not verified (Harvard Business School Press, 2005).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Be more productive / organised
25; 14; 13
Plan: For the next decision that affects other people I will do three things in order: ask for their views before deciding, explain the decision and my reasons afterwards, and state plainly what is expected from now on. I will note how people respond.
fair process, engagement, explanation, expectations, buy-in, decisions, fairness, consultation, resistance, cooperation, family decisions, team, change, procedural justice, reasons, respect, involvement, announcement, trust, implementation
You make a sound decision for the family or the team, announce it, and meet sulking or quiet sabotage. The decision was fine. The process was not.
Before your next decision that affects others, ask them for their view. Afterwards, tell them what you decided, why, and what happens next.
People accept decisions they dislike if the process was fair: they were consulted, the reasons were explained, and the new rules are clear.
The Body Keeps the Score
Single Model
Bessel van der Kolk
Not started
Learn to read my body's signals, so that I know what I need before I reach for a habit.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: van der Kolk writes that agency, the feeling of being in charge of your life, starts with what scientists call interoception: awareness of the subtle sensations inside the body. The greater that awareness, he says, the greater our potential to control our lives. Knowing what we feel is the first step towards knowing why we feel it. If we notice the constant shifts in our inner state, we can act on them: eat when we are hungry, rest when we are tired, leave when something is wrong. He describes people who have lost touch with these signals and cannot tell what they need or find words for their feelings, and he describes practices of noticing sensation, such as mindfulness and yoga, as ways of rebuilding the link. Likely to trip me up: I live in my head and notice my body only when it shouts. Note: this is a psychiatrist's book about treating trauma, and I have taken only the general point about body awareness. For some people, turning attention inwards can be distressing, and that is a reason to work with a professional. Nothing here is a treatment. (Source: The Body Keeps the Score, Ch. 6.)
Name the Feeling (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): the next step after noticing. Stress Without Control (Brain Rules, John Medina): what it is like to have no sense of agency.
Mindset & Emotions
Befriending the Body
Part Two, Ch. 6, Losing Your Body, Losing Your Self. The theme returns in Ch. 13. Page not verified (Viking, 2014).
Meditate / mindfulness; Manage stress / anxiety; Cut junk food / emotional eating
21; 12; 19
Plan: Three times a day I will stop for one minute and scan from head to feet: tension, hunger, tiredness, temperature, breath. I will write one word for what I find. Before any snack or scroll I will do the same scan first.
interoception, body awareness, sensations, agency, body scan, mindfulness, needs, hunger, tiredness, tension, numbness, emotional eating, signals, feelings, self-knowledge, noticing, yoga, check-in, inner state, control
You eat when you are tired, scroll when you are lonely and work when you are ill. You are not ignoring your body's signals. You never notice them.
Stop for one minute. Scan from head to feet and name three sensations: tight, warm, hungry, heavy. Ask what each one is telling you.
A sense of control starts with noticing what your body feels. If you cannot read those signals, you cannot tell what you need or act on it.
Blue Ocean Strategy
Single Model
W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne
Not started
Stop trying to be a slightly better version of what already exists.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors studied 150 strategic moves across more than thirty industries and over a century. They describe two kinds of market. Red oceans are existing industries, where the boundaries are known and companies fight over the same customers until profits thin out. Blue oceans are market space that does not yet exist, where demand is created and not fought over. They found that most new launches were small improvements within red oceans, and that the minority which created blue oceans produced most of the profit. The move behind a blue ocean is what they call value innovation. You do not choose between being better and being cheaper. You raise what buyers get and lower your own costs, by dropping what the industry takes for granted and adding what it never offered. Their lead example is a circus that dropped animals and star acts, added theatre and music, and drew adult audiences at higher prices. Likely to trip me up: benchmarking against rivals feels rigorous, and it keeps me on their ground. Note: the examples were chosen after the fact, so failures built on the same logic do not appear. (Source: Blue Ocean Strategy, Ch. 1.)
The Ideology of Competition (Zero to One, Peter Thiel): rivalry makes you copy. Start Small and Monopolize (Zero to One, Peter Thiel): begin with a group nobody serves.
Systems & Strategy
Value Innovation
Part One, Ch. 1, Creating Blue Oceans. Page not verified (Harvard Business School Press, 2005).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
17; 13
Plan: I will list what everyone in my field competes on. Then I will describe one group of people that the field ignores, and write what they would value that nobody offers. I will shape my next three pieces of work for that group.
blue ocean, red ocean, value innovation, differentiation, low cost, uncontested, competition, new market, noncustomers, positioning, benchmarking, originality, circus, strategy, crowded field, channel, niche, leap in value, irrelevant rivals, creation
You study the leaders in your field and try to do the same thing ten per cent better. So does everyone else, and you all fight over the same people.
Write down the three things everyone in your field competes on. Then name one group of people who want none of those three.
Do not try to beat rivals on their terms. Offer a leap in value to a group they ignore, at lower cost, and the competition stops mattering.
Learning How to Learn
Single Model
Barbara Oakley and Terrence Sejnowski, with Alistair McConville
Not started
Stop spending my four working-memory slots on switching.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors give working memory a picture. It is an octopus living at the front of your brain, with about four arms. Each arm can hold one piece of information, so you can keep roughly four things in mind at a time. Long-term memory is pictured as a locker, large and out of the way, and working memory as a school bag, small and close at hand. When you focus, the octopus holds its few items firmly and can link them together. When you switch to another task, it has to let go of what it was holding and grab a new set, and when you switch back it must find the first set again. Each switch costs time and energy, and things get dropped. Tiredness loosens its grip as well. Likely to trip me up: switching does not feel costly in the moment. It feels like keeping up. Note: the limit of about four items and the cost of switching tasks are both well supported in cognitive research. The octopus is a teaching picture for a book aimed at school-age readers. (Source: Learning How to Learn, Ch. 7.)
Chunking (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): a well-learned chunk takes up a single arm. Top Idea in Your Mind (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): whatever holds the arms gets your thinking.
Learning & Knowledge
Your Attentional Octopus
Ch. 7, School Bags, Lockers, and Your Attentional Octopus. Starts on p. 88 (TarcherPerigee, 2018, from the book's contents pages).
Limit multitasking / context-switching; Read / learn more; Beat procrastination / focus
28; 09; 07
Plan: During any learning or hard thinking I will keep one task open, with the phone out of reach and notifications off. Stray thoughts go on a notepad. I will compare how much I can recall afterwards with a normal session.
working memory, attentional octopus, four slots, multitasking, task switching, focus, distraction, notifications, study, attention, dropped thoughts, mental load, tiredness, phone, learning, concentration, short-term memory, school bag, locker, single task
You study with messages, music and three tabs open. It feels fine. In fact you are dropping and re-gripping the same few ideas all evening.
For your next study or thinking session, keep one task open and a notepad beside you. Write stray thoughts on the pad, and do not act on them.
Working memory is an octopus with about four arms. It can hold four things at once. Each switch of task makes it let go and grab again.
Talking to Strangers
Single Model
Malcolm Gladwell
Not started
Stop assuming I can read what someone feels from their face, and ask.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gladwell names this after a television comedy. He had a specialist code the actors' facial movements in one episode, and found that every emotion in the plot was displayed perfectly on the characters' faces. You could follow the story with the sound off. We tend to assume real people are like that: that what is going on inside shows faithfully on the outside. He calls this the assumption of transparency, and reports research that undercuts it. In one study, people were led into a situation designed to astonish them. Almost all of them believed afterwards that their faces had shown great surprise. The video showed that hardly any had. Another study found that people in a remote island community did not read the 'universal' facial expressions in the way the theory predicted. Likely to trip me up: I am good at reading my close friends, since I have learned their particular signals, and I carry that confidence over to strangers. Note: Gladwell is a journalist. The studies he cites are published, and the wider debate about universal expressions is ongoing. (Source: Talking to Strangers, Ch. 6.)
Intent Is Not Impact (Difficult Conversations, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen): you cannot see inside them. Match Mood and Energy (Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg): a contrasting view, on what can be picked up.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Transparency Illusion
Part Three, Transparency, Ch. 6, The Friends Fallacy. Page not verified (Little, Brown, 2019).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: In conversations that matter, when I catch myself concluding what someone feels from their expression, I will check it in words: 'I cannot tell how this is landing with you. What do you think?' I will note how often my reading was wrong.
transparency, facial expressions, reading people, body language, misreading, strangers, emotions, assumptions, poker face, video calls, interviews, first impressions, demeanour, sitcom, surprise, culture, checking, asking, overconfidence, signals
You decide the new colleague is bored, the interviewer disliked you, or your date was not interested, all from a face. You never checked.
Next time you 'read' a stranger's feelings from their face, treat it as a guess. Ask one question that lets them tell you in words.
We assume a person's face and manner show what they feel inside, as on television. With strangers they often do not, so we misread them.
Talking to Strangers
Single Model
Malcolm Gladwell
Not started
Decide my limits and my surroundings before the first drink, since after it I will see only what is in front of me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gladwell presents a theory from two psychologists which replaced the old idea that alcohol simply removes inhibitions and reveals the real you. They call it myopia. Alcohol narrows the field of attention, so that what is near and vivid fills the mind, and what is distant or abstract, such as consequences, tomorrow or your own longer-term aims, drops out of view. A drinker's behaviour is then shaped by whatever is most prominent in the surroundings. In a quiet, structured setting the result can be calm. In a loud, charged one it can be reckless. He tells of an anthropologist who lived with a community where very heavy drinking took place inside a fixed ritual, with none of the fighting or disorder expected. He also reports research on blackouts, where a person goes on acting while no memories are being stored. Likely to trip me up: I plan to 'see how I feel' once I am there, which hands the decision to my short-sighted self. Note: the myopia theory is published and influential. Gladwell's use of it in this chapter, around a criminal case, has been criticised, and I have left that out. Anyone who may be dependent on alcohol should seek medical advice. (Source: Talking to Strangers, Ch. 8.)
A Tired Brain Has Weak Brakes (Why We Sleep, Matthew Walker): another state in which the long view drops out. Coupling (Talking to Strangers, Malcolm Gladwell): behaviour follows the setting.
Habits & Behavior Change
Alcohol Myopia
Part Three, Transparency, Ch. 8, Case Study: The Fraternity Party. Page not verified (Little, Brown, 2019).
Drink less alcohol; Improve relationships / communicate
11; 25
Plan: Before any occasion with alcohol I will set my number, my way home and my leaving time while sober, and tell one person. I will choose settings where the thing in front of me is a meal and a conversation, not a round.
alcohol myopia, drinking, short-sighted, inhibitions, setting, consequences, blackouts, limits, pre-commitment, party, environment, true self myth, narrowing attention, impulsive, night out, rounds, safety, plan ahead, context, moderation
You go out meaning to have two, and plan to decide the rest as the night goes on. By the third drink, tomorrow morning no longer exists for you.
Before your next occasion with alcohol, write three things while sober: my number, how I get home, when I leave. Tell one person.
Alcohol does not reveal the true self. It narrows attention to what is right in front of you, so the near and vivid beats the distant.
Willpower
Single Model
Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney
Not started
Make my hardest task the most interesting thing available during a fixed block.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors take the idea from a crime novelist who described how he made himself write. He set aside a fixed stretch of hours each day. In those hours he did not have to write. He could look out of the window or stand on his head if he felt like it. What he could not do was anything else positive: no reading, no letters, no tidying. He had two rules, which he said were the same ones used to keep order in a school: you do not have to write, and you cannot do anything else. The authors call this the nothing alternative, and recommend it as a simple defence against procrastination. The task no longer has to compete with every more pleasant activity. It only has to beat boredom, and boredom loses quickly. Likely to trip me up: counting 'useful' side tasks as allowed. They are the usual escape route. Note: a writer's personal method, not a research finding. It fits research on removing alternatives. It does not rest on the book's contested theory of willpower. (Source: Willpower, Conclusion.)
Time Management Is Pain Management (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): distraction is an escape from discomfort. Embrace Boredom (Deep Work, Cal Newport): being able to sit with nothing is the underlying skill.
Productivity & Focus
The Nothing Alternative
Conclusion: The Future of Willpower. Starts on p. 238 (Penguin Press, 2011, from the publisher's contents listing).
Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised
07; 13
Plan: Each morning I will set a ninety-minute block with two rules: I do not have to do the task, and I may not do anything else. Phone in another room, browser closed. I will log how many minutes pass before I begin.
nothing alternative, procrastination, writing, boredom, fixed block, no distractions, rules, avoidance, productive procrastination, deep work, focus, starting, tidying, email, discipline, time block, sit there, novelist, commitment, single task
You sit down to the hard task and find yourself answering email, tidying the desk and reading about how to be productive. You are busy avoiding it.
Set a timer for forty-five minutes. Two rules: you do not have to do the task, and you may not do anything else. Put the phone in another room.
Set a time in which you may do the one task or nothing at all. No email, no tidying. Boredom soon makes the task the better option.
Willpower
Single Model
Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney
Not started
Take the heat out of everyday cravings without a fight.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors report an experiment in which people watched a film with a bowl of sweets beside them. Some were told to imagine they had decided to eat as many as they liked. Some were told to imagine they had decided not to eat any. A third group was told to imagine they had decided to have some later. The third group ate the least. When they were offered sweets again afterwards, they also wanted them less than the people who had said no outright. The authors' explanation is that a flat refusal leaves the mind fighting the desire, while 'later' lets it set the matter down. The pleasure has been scheduled, not lost, and by the time later comes the craving has often faded. Likely to trip me up: using 'later' as a promise I then keep, every single time. Note: this was a single line of studies when the book was written. It also pulls against the bright lines advice in the same book, which fits serious dependence. Postponing suits ordinary treats. (Source: Willpower, Ch. 10.)
Move Through the Craving (Spark, John J. Ratey): another way to let an urge pass. Bright Lines (Willpower, Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney): the opposite tool, for habits where 'later' is too dangerous.
Habits & Behavior Change
Postpone, Do Not Deny
Ch. 10, The Perfect Storm of Dieting. Starts on p. 214 (Penguin Press, 2011, from the publisher's contents listing).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Cut phone / social-media use; Reduce debt / control spending
19; 06; 22
Plan: For treats, scrolling and impulse buys I will answer each urge with 'not now, I can have it later' and write it on a list. At the end of each day I will look at the list and see how many I still want.
postpone, later, cravings, delay, treats, temptation, snacks, impulse buying, scrolling, denial, never, desire, waiting, self-control, urge, shopping cart, dessert, fade, not now, permission
You tell yourself 'never again', and the forbidden thing grows in your mind until you give in. A flat refusal keeps the craving switched on.
Next time a craving hits, say: 'Not now. I can have it later if I still want it.' Write it on a list, and check the list tonight.
Telling yourself 'not now, later' calms a craving better than 'never'. The mind accepts a delay, and later the wish has often gone.
Blue Ocean Strategy
Single Model
W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne
Not started
Find ideas by looking at what people use in place of my kind of work.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors set out six ways to look beyond the accepted edges of an industry. The first is to look across alternatives. Alternatives are wider than substitutes. They are things with a different form and function that serve the same purpose. A cinema and a restaurant have little in common, yet both are ways to spend an evening out, and people do choose between them. The authors advise finding out why buyers trade across alternatives and which few factors decide the choice. Their example is a company selling shares in private jets. It saw that business travellers chose between flying first class and owning a plane, took the speed and convenience of one and the low fixed cost of the other, and dropped the rest. The other five paths look across groups within an industry, across who actually buys, across complementary products, across the emotional and practical appeal, and across time. Likely to trip me up: I define my rivals as people who do what I do. Note: the examples were chosen after the fact. It is a thinking tool, not a finding. (Source: Blue Ocean Strategy, Ch. 3.)
Jobs to Be Done (Competing Against Luck, Clayton M. Christensen and co-authors): a milkshake competes with bananas. Competing with Nothing (Competing Against Luck, Clayton M. Christensen and co-authors): look at people who use no product at all.
Creativity & Ideas
Look Across Alternatives
Part Two, Ch. 3, Reconstruct Market Boundaries. Page not verified (Harvard Business School Press, 2005).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
17; 13
Plan: I will ask five people in my audience what else they do to get the same result, and why they choose each option. I will look for the one deciding reason behind each choice, and build around the strongest of those reasons.
alternatives, substitutes, market boundaries, six paths, real competitors, customer choice, trade-offs, evening out, ideas, reframing, industry, audience, purpose, deciding factors, strategy, options, creator, cross-industry, why they choose, positioning
You compare yourself only with others who make the same kind of thing. The people you want are choosing between you and something quite different.
Ask one person who uses your work: 'If this did not exist, what would you do?' Whatever they answer is your real alternative.
Your real rivals are everything else people could use to get the same result. Study why they pick one alternative over another.
The Body Keeps the Score
Single Model
Bessel van der Kolk
Not started
Have two routes to calm, so that when thinking fails I can use my body.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: van der Kolk describes two parts of the brain with everyday pictures. One works like a smoke detector, raising the alarm at any sign of threat. The other works like a watchtower, which looks at the situation from above and can judge that the alarm is false. He says there are two ways to steady the system. Top-down regulation strengthens the watchtower's ability to notice what is going on in the body, and he names mindfulness and yoga as ways of building it. Bottom-up regulation works directly on the body's alarm system, which can be reached through breathing, movement and touch. He stresses that reasoning with yourself often fails when the alarm is loud, since the thinking parts are the first to go quiet, and that this is when the bodily route is needed. Likely to trip me up: I try to argue myself out of a state that my body is driving. Note: this is a psychiatrist's book about treating trauma. I have taken only the general idea of self-regulation from it. Nothing here is a treatment, and anyone dealing with trauma should work with a qualified professional. Some of the book's science is disputed. (Source: The Body Keeps the Score, Ch. 4.)
Slow Your Breath to Slow Your Body (Breath, James Nestor): the best-known bottom-up tool. Name the Feeling (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): a top-down tool.
Mindset & Emotions
Top-Down and Bottom-Up Regulation
Part Two, Ch. 4, Running for Your Life: The Anatomy of Survival. The place within the chapter is not verified, and the theme returns in Ch. 13. Page not verified (Viking, 2014).
Manage stress / anxiety; Meditate / mindfulness; Improve mental health / be happier
12; 21; 04
Plan: I will practise one top-down tool, a daily five-minute check of what I feel and where, and one bottom-up tool, slow breathing with a long out-breath, plus a walk. In stressful moments I will note which route actually worked.
regulation, top-down, bottom-up, calm, breathing, movement, touch, mindfulness, yoga, alarm, stress response, anxiety, body, nervous system, smoke detector, watchtower, self-soothing, panic, grounding, awareness
When you are flooded with stress, you tell yourself to calm down and think straight. It does not work, and you feel worse for failing at it.
Next time you are wound up, try the body first: breathe out slowly for longer than you breathe in, six times. Then name what you feel.
You can calm yourself from the top, by noticing and naming what you feel, or from the bottom, through breath, movement and touch. Use both.
The Body Keeps the Score
Single Model
Bessel van der Kolk
Not started
Make sure that some of my time with people is time in which I am really seen and heard, and they are too.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: van der Kolk writes that being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important part of mental health, and that safe connections are basic to a satisfying life. He draws a distinction that is easy to miss. Social support is not the same as merely being in the presence of others. The critical thing is reciprocity: being truly heard and seen by the people around us, and feeling that we are held in someone else's mind and heart. He describes how the face, the voice and the rhythm of another person who is attuned to us can settle the body, and how people who lack this can be surrounded by others and still be alone. Likely to trip me up: counting messages, likes and busy rooms as connection. Note: this is a psychiatrist's book about treating trauma, and I have taken only the general point about connection. The nerve theory he uses to explain it in this chapter is disputed among scientists. The importance of close relationships for health is very well supported by other research. Nothing here is a treatment. (Source: The Body Keeps the Score, Ch. 5.)
Strokes (Games People Play, Eric Berne): the hunger to be recognised. Social Investment (The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor): relationships are the strongest predictor of wellbeing.
People & Communication
Feeling Safe with Others
Part Two, Ch. 5, Body-Brain Connections. Page not verified (Viking, 2014).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve mental health / be happier; Improve relationships / communicate
14; 04; 25
Plan: Each week I will have one unhurried conversation, in person or by voice, with someone I trust, with no screens and no agenda. I will give my full attention and say one true thing about how I am. I will note how I feel afterwards.
connection, safety, being heard, being seen, reciprocity, loneliness, relationships, social support, attunement, presence, friends, family, mental health, trust, company, listening, alone in a crowd, voice, face to face, belonging
You are around people all day, online and off, and still feel alone. Nobody in any of it is actually listening to you, or you to them.
Arrange one conversation this week with someone you trust: no phones, no agenda. Tell them one true thing about how you are. Ask them the same.
Being truly seen and heard by another person calms the body in a way nothing else does. Company is not enough. It takes reciprocity.
Talking to Strangers
Single Model
Malcolm Gladwell
Not started
Find the places and conditions my bad habits are tied to, and change those.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gladwell uses the word coupling for the idea that a behaviour is linked to a particular context. The rival assumption is displacement: that if you block a behaviour in one place, it simply moves somewhere else. He reports work by criminologists who mapped crime street by street. In city after city, about half of all crime turned out to come from a very small share of street segments, a few per cent, and those stayed the same year after year. When the police concentrated on those few places, crime there fell, and for the most part it did not move round the corner. The troublemaker is not a free-floating force that will act wherever it finds itself. The behaviour depends on a place, a time and a set of conditions. Gladwell notes that public-health research shows the same pattern. Likely to trip me up: I think of my habit as part of me and carried everywhere, so I try to change myself and leave the setting alone. Note: the concentration of crime is one of the best-replicated findings in criminology. Applying the idea to personal habits is my extension, and it fits habit research on cues. (Source: Talking to Strangers, Ch. 10 and Ch. 11.)
The Habit Loop (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): habits fire on cues, and cues live in places. Triggers (Contagious, Jonah Berger): what the surroundings bring to mind gets done.
Habits & Behavior Change
Coupling
Part Five, Coupling, Ch. 10 and Ch. 11, Case Study: The Kansas City Experiments. Page not verified (Little, Brown, 2019).
Quit smoking / vaping; Drink less alcohol; Cut junk food / emotional eating
10; 11; 19
Plan: For two weeks I will log where, when and with what each unwanted habit happens. I expect most of it to cluster in two or three settings. I will then alter or avoid those settings and count what is left.
coupling, context, place, setting, displacement, hot spots, environment, cues, habits, location, conditions, smoking spot, drinking spot, snacking, routine, remove the setting, concentration, triggers, clustering, situation
You believe the urge lives inside you and will find a way out whatever you do. So you never look at where and when it actually happens.
For one habit, list the last five times it happened: where, when, who with, what was to hand. Circle what repeats. Change one of those.
Behaviours are tied to particular places and conditions. Change the setting and much of the behaviour stops. It does not just move away.
Willpower
Single Model
Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney
Not started
Replace one fuzzy rule with one I cannot argue my way around.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors borrow a lawyers' term. A bright line is a clear, simple rule with no ambiguity. You cannot help noticing when you cross one. 'Drink moderately' is not a bright line, since there is no obvious point at which moderate becomes too much, and each small step past it can be excused. 'Never' is a bright line. They use it to explain why total abstinence works for many people with a serious drinking problem. A person who knows that one exception will lead to many more has a strong reason to refuse the first one. They add that a rule held as sacred is brighter still, which is part of why religious commitment and mutual-help groups help some people. Likely to trip me up: my mind is very good at finding the special case. Note: the wider book rests on a theory of willpower that failed large replications. This idea does not depend on it. It comes from research on how people discount the future. Anyone who is dependent on alcohol should get medical advice before stopping. (Source: Willpower, Ch. 8.)
Abstainers and Moderators (Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin): some people do better with none than with a little. Precommitment Pacts (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): decide before the moment of temptation.
Habits & Behavior Change
Bright Lines
Ch. 8, Did a Higher Power Help Eric Clapton and Mary Karr Stop Drinking? The chapter starts on p. 167, and the bright lines passage is on pp. 185-186 (Penguin Press, 2011).
Drink less alcohol; Quit smoking / vaping; Cut junk food / emotional eating
11; 10; 19
Plan: I will pick the one habit where 'less' has failed me repeatedly and write a rule with no exceptions and no judgement calls, such as 'no alcohol on weeknights'. I will keep it for thirty days and log every time I am tempted to renegotiate.
bright lines, rules, abstinence, never, moderation, exceptions, alcohol, drinking, smoking, zero tolerance, clarity, loopholes, negotiation, commitment, sacred, relapse, fuzzy rules, self-control, no exceptions, weeknights
Your rule is 'drink less' or 'only sometimes'. Every evening becomes a negotiation with yourself about what counts, and you lose most of them.
Take one fuzzy rule you keep breaking. Rewrite it so that a stranger could tell, from the facts alone, if you kept it today.
A rule with no exceptions is easier to keep than a fuzzy one. 'Never' is a bright line you can see yourself crossing. 'Less' is not.
The Body Keeps the Score
Single Model
Bessel van der Kolk
Not started
Add one activity to my week in which I move or make sound in time with other people.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: van der Kolk observes that across history and cultures, people have dealt with overwhelming events together, and nearly always through rhythm: singing, chanting, dancing, marching, drumming. He notes how armies use drill to bind frightened recruits into a unit, how hymns carried protest movements, and how collective song and dance ran through public hearings after a period of national violence. He reports theatre programmes for troubled teenagers, in which young people learn to move and speak in time with others, take on a role, and find that their body can do something other than brace itself. His point is that moving in time with other people gives a bodily experience of belonging and of being in step, which conversation alone often cannot give. Likely to trip me up: self-consciousness, and the habit of exercising and relaxing alone with headphones in. Note: this is a psychiatrist's book about treating trauma, and I have taken only the general point. Research outside the book does find that moving in time with others increases bonding. Nothing here is a treatment. (Source: The Body Keeps the Score, Ch. 20.)
Match Mood and Energy (Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg): being in step is how connection shows. Move Your Mood (Spark, John J. Ratey): movement changes how you feel.
People & Communication
Communal Rhythms
Part Five, Ch. 20, Finding Your Voice: Communal Rhythms and Theater. Page not verified (Viking, 2014).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve mental health / be happier; Exercise / move daily
14; 04; 01
Plan: I will try one shared-rhythm activity for six weeks: a dance or exercise class, a choir, a drumming group, team sport, or group prayer or chanting. I will rate my mood before and after each session.
rhythm, synchrony, singing, dancing, choir, drumming, group exercise, belonging, community, theatre, moving together, team sport, chanting, connection, ritual, music, class, togetherness, body, shared activity
All your contact with people is talk and screens. You never sing, dance, play or train alongside anyone, and something in you stays unsettled.
Find one thing near you that involves moving or making sound in time with others: a class, a choir, a team. Book a first session.
Moving, singing or playing in time with other people steadies the body and builds belonging. Shared rhythm does what talking often cannot.
The Talent Code
Single Model
Daniel Coyle
Not started
Put myself where I can see people like me doing what I want to do, and commit for the long term.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Coyle asks where the energy for thousands of hours of hard practice comes from. He calls the answer ignition. It often starts with a small cue that says: people like you can do this. After one young golfer from South Korea won a major tournament, a wave of her countrywomen followed her onto the tour within a decade. The same thing happened in tennis after a young Russian player broke through. Once the first person ran a mile in under four minutes, others did it within weeks. He also reports a long study of children starting a musical instrument. The best predictor of progress was not aptitude, and not the amount of practice. It was the answer the child had given, before the first lesson, about how long they planned to play. With the same amount of practice, those who saw themselves playing for life progressed several times faster than those who expected to stop within a year. Likely to trip me up: relying on bursts of inspiration and ignoring my surroundings. Note: Coyle is a journalist, and the music study is a single study. (Source: The Talent Code, Ch. 5.)
Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): 'I am someone who does this' sustains effort. Built to Show, Built to Grow (Contagious, Jonah Berger): we take up what we can see others like us doing.
Learning & Knowledge
Ignition
Part II, Ch. 5, Primal Cues. Starts on p. 97 (Bantam, 2009, from the book's contents pages).
Learn a skill / upskill; Exercise / move daily; Read / learn more
17; 01; 09
Plan: I will find two people with a starting point like mine who are a few years ahead, and follow their path closely. I will write down how many years I am committing to this skill, and reread that line each month.
ignition, motivation, role models, someone like me, identity, belonging, long-term commitment, breakthrough, cues, inspiration, community, four minute mile, music study, persistence, vision, future self, peers, possibility, drive, environment
You admire experts who seem to belong to another species. Nobody you know does what you want to do, so it never feels like something a person like you does.
Find one person who began where you are now and is three years ahead. Study how they started. Then write down how many years you are committing.
Long-term drive starts with a cue: someone like me did it, so I could. A small signal about identity and belonging unlocks years of effort.
Good to Great
Single Model
Jim Collins
Not started
Choose my collaborators and my company with more care than I choose my projects.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Collins expected to find that great companies began with a new vision or strategy. He reports the opposite. Their leaders first got the right people on the bus and the wrong people off it, and only then worked out where to drive. His reasoning has three parts. If you begin with who, you can adapt more easily when the world changes. The right people need little managing or motivating. And with the wrong people, the right direction will not save you. His practical rules include: when in doubt, do not hire, and keep looking. He closes the chapter by applying the idea to a whole life. The people he studied plainly loved what they did, largely because they loved who they did it with. Likely to trip me up: choosing the project first is more exciting, and people are harder to change later. Note: Collins's method has been criticised for picking winners first and explaining them afterwards, and several of his great companies later declined. (Source: Good to Great, Ch. 3.)
Play Long-Term Games with Long-Term People (The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, Eric Jorgenson): the people compound along with the work. Social Investment (The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor): relationships are the best predictor of how well you do.
People & Communication
First Who, Then What
Ch. 3, First Who... Then What. Page not verified (HarperBusiness, 2001).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
14; 25; 17
Plan: For my next project I will decide who I want to work with before I settle the details of what we do. I will also list the five people I spend most time with, and ask if I would choose each of them again.
first who then what, right people, team, hiring, partners, collaborators, bus, friends, adaptability, direction, company you keep, co-founder, selection, relationships, trust, strategy second, when in doubt, fit, colleagues, circle
You fall in love with a plan, and then take whoever is available to carry it out. When the plan has to change, which it will, the group falls apart.
Name the three people you would most like to build something with, before you know what it is. Contact one of them this week.
Decide who you want to work and live alongside before deciding what to do. The right people adapt when the direction has to change.
Zero to One
Single Model
Peter Thiel with Blake Masters
Not started
Find the one effort in my life that outweighs the rest, and feed it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thiel explains that returns in venture capital follow a power law. The best investment in a successful fund tends to return more than all the others combined. He says most investors, and most people, act as if results were spread evenly, and so they diversify across many small bets. He then applies the pattern to a single life. Everyone is an investor in their own time. When you choose a career you are betting that one kind of work will be valuable decades from now, and you cannot hedge that bet by keeping a dozen equally likely careers in reserve. His conclusion is to think hard about where the few large outcomes could come from, and then to focus relentlessly on something you are good at. Likely to trip me up: I cannot know in advance which effort is the large one, so spreading myself thin feels safer. Note: the power law in venture returns is well documented. Carrying it over to careers is Thiel's own argument. (Source: Zero to One, Ch. 7.)
Leverage Points (Thinking in Systems, Donella Meadows): a few places in a system matter far more than the rest. The Focusing Question (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller with Jay Papasan): find the one thing that makes the others easier.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Power Law
Ch. 7, Follow the Money. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2014).
Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill; Limit multitasking / context-switching
13; 17; 28
Plan: I will list my current efforts and estimate the payoff of each over ten years if it goes well. I will rank them, give the top one my best hours for a quarter, and cut the bottom third.
power law, focus, few things matter, unequal returns, career bet, concentration, diversification, priorities, big outcomes, investing time, ten years, leverage, cut, best hours, one thing, distribution, portfolio, selection, impact, relentless
You spread your effort evenly over ten projects, as if each mattered about the same. The one that could have changed everything gets a tenth of you.
List your current projects. For each, write the best realistic payoff in ten years. Look at the gap between the top one and the rest.
A few things matter far more than all the rest put together. One skill, one project or one decision will outweigh the others. Find it.
The Innovator's Dilemma
Single Model
Clayton M. Christensen
Not started
For anything new, plan to find out, and keep enough in reserve for a second and a third attempt.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Christensen states it flatly: markets that do not exist cannot be analysed. Neither suppliers nor customers know how a truly new product will be used, or how much of it will be bought. He tells how a Japanese motorcycle maker entered America with a careful plan to sell large bikes, which failed. Its staff were riding the company's small bikes around on errands, people kept asking about those, and that accident became its market. His advice is to plan for learning and not for executing. Assume that your forecasts are wrong. Find out what needs to be known, in the right order, with small and cheap moves. Most of all, conserve resources so that you can afford to be wrong the first time and still try again. He separates the failure of an idea from the failure of a firm: many good ventures had a wrong first idea and enough left over to find the right one. Likely to trip me up: a detailed plan feels like diligence, and betting everything feels like commitment. Note: the theory has been criticised. This advice matches later work on testing assumptions. (Source: The Innovator's Dilemma, Ch. 7.)
Validated Learning (The Lean Startup, Eric Ries): the same idea, turned into a method. Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): survive long enough to be right.
Decision-Making & Risk
Markets That Do Not Exist Cannot Be Analysed
Part Two, Ch. 7, Discovering New and Emerging Markets. Page not verified (Harvard Business School Press, 1997).
Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised
17; 27; 13
Plan: For my next new venture I will write a list of assumptions in place of a forecast. I will spend no more than a third of my time and money budget on the first attempt, and decide in advance what I need to learn from it.
uncertainty, new markets, forecasts, discovery, planning to learn, assumptions, experiments, reserves, second attempt, wrong first idea, runway, launch, prediction, flexibility, small bets, honda, venture, unknowns, data, iteration
You write a detailed plan with forecasts for something nobody has done before, and stake everything on it. The first guess is wrong, and nothing is left.
For your new project, replace the forecast with a list: 'What I need to find out, in order.' Fund only the first item, and keep the rest back.
For something truly new there is no data. Plan to learn, not to execute: make small, cheap moves and keep enough in reserve to try again.
Good to Great
Single Model
Jim Collins
Not started
Hold hope and hard facts together, without letting either one cancel the other.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Collins takes the idea from a conversation with an American admiral who was held and tortured for eight years as a prisoner of war. Asked who did not make it out, the admiral answered: the optimists. They were the ones who said they would be out by Christmas, then by Easter, and who died of a broken heart as each date passed. His own stance had two halves that he refused to separate. He never lost faith that he would prevail in the end. And he never confused that faith with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of his present reality, whatever they were. Collins found the same pairing in his great companies, and suggests ways to let the truth be heard: lead with questions, debate without coercion, and examine failures without blame. Likely to trip me up: I slide to one side, into comforting optimism or into facts that leave no hope. Note: a powerful story and not a study. Collins's wider method has been criticised. (Source: Good to Great, Ch. 4.)
The Obstacle Becomes the Way (The Obstacle Is the Way, Ryan Holiday): see the situation as it is, then act on it. Three Ways to Find Meaning (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): another account of what carries people through captivity.
Mindset & Emotions
The Stockdale Paradox
Ch. 4, Confront the Brutal Facts (Yet Never Lose Faith). Page not verified (HarperBusiness, 2001).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
12; 04; 27
Plan: For my hardest current situation I will keep one page with two columns. One holds the brutal facts, written plainly. The other holds why I believe I will come through, with no dates attached. I will update both each month.
stockdale paradox, faith, brutal facts, realism, hope, optimism, resilience, hardship, denial, deadlines, endurance, prisoner of war, crisis, acceptance, long haul, false hope, truth, perseverance, despair, setbacks
You tell yourself it will all be fine by next month. Next month comes, and it is not. After a few rounds of this you stop believing anything at all.
Write two lists about your hardest situation: the brutal facts as they stand today, and why you will get through in the end. Put no date on the second.
Keep faith that you will prevail in the end, and at the same time face the most brutal facts of your situation. Drop either and you break.
Good to Great
Single Model
Jim Collins
Not started
Give credit outwards and take blame inwards, when my instinct runs the other way.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Collins reports that the leaders of the companies he studied shared a pattern that he calls the window and the mirror. When results were good, they looked out of the window and gave the credit to other people, to outside factors, or to good luck. When results were poor, they looked in the mirror and took the responsibility themselves, and never blamed bad luck. The leaders of the comparison companies did the opposite. They looked out of the window for someone to blame, and into the mirror to admire themselves when things went well. He ties this to what he calls Level 5 leadership, a blend of personal humility and strong professional will. Likely to trip me up: my mind does the flattering version automatically. Note: Collins's method has been criticised. He chose companies for their later success and then looked for shared traits, and much of his material came from press coverage coloured by that success. Several of his great companies later declined badly. (Source: Good to Great, Ch. 2.)
Fault Is Not Responsibility (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson): own the response whoever is at fault. Contribution, Not Blame (Difficult Conversations, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen): start with your own part.
Mindset & Emotions
The Window and the Mirror
Ch. 2, Level 5 Leadership, section 'The Window and the Mirror'. Page not verified (HarperBusiness, 2001).
Improve relationships / communicate; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Journal / self-reflect
25; 27; 24
Plan: In my weekly review I will name one thing that went well and write who or what helped. I will name one thing that went badly and write my own part first. I will say both aloud to the people concerned.
window and mirror, credit, blame, humility, responsibility, leadership, luck, self-serving bias, accountability, team, praise, ownership, ego, level 5, review, excuses, gratitude, failure, success, honesty
When it goes well, it was your skill. When it goes badly, it was the market, the team or bad luck. You learn nothing, and the people around you notice.
Take one recent success and name three people or pieces of luck behind it. Take one recent failure and write your own part in it first.
When things go well, look out of the window and credit others and luck. When things go badly, look in the mirror and take responsibility.
Competing Against Luck
Single Model
Clayton M. Christensen, Taddy Hall, Karen Dillon and David S. Duncan
Not started
Find what to make by watching where people struggle, and not by copying what already sells.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors give five places to look for jobs that are waiting to be done. Look close to home, at the struggles in your own life. Look at what they call competing with nothing: people who want to make progress and hire no product at all, since nothing on offer fits. They say this group is often larger than the whole existing market. Look for workarounds, where people have cobbled together their own fix from things that were made for another purpose. Look for what people do not want to do, the tasks they dread and put off. And look for unusual uses of existing products, as when buyers took a cold medicine in order to get to sleep, which led the company to a separate product for sleep. Likely to trip me up: studying competitors is easier than watching people, and it leads straight back to copying. Note: a practical framework from consulting cases, not tested research. (Source: Competing Against Luck, Ch. 4.)
Find the Bright Spots (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): look at what people already do. Start Small and Monopolize (Zero to One, Peter Thiel): an unserved group is where to begin.
Creativity & Ideas
Competing with Nothing
Section 2, Ch. 4, Job Hunting. Page not verified (HarperBusiness, 2016).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
17; 13
Plan: For a month I will keep a list of workarounds I see, in my own life and in the people around me: the spreadsheet that ought to be a tool, the task people avoid. Each month I will choose one and sketch something that does that job properly.
nonconsumption, workarounds, unmet needs, opportunity, observation, struggle, ideas, avoided tasks, unusual uses, market gap, creator, product ideas, watching people, problems, close to home, niche, demand, innovation, improvised, pain points
You look for ideas by studying what already sells, and end up making a slightly different copy. The people nobody serves are invisible in that data.
Notice one workaround today: something a person does in a clumsy, improvised way because no tool fits. Write down what job they are trying to get done.
Look for people who want progress and use no solution at all, or who have cobbled together a workaround. That struggle is the opening.
Zero to One
Single Model
Peter Thiel with Blake Masters
Not started
Commit to one definite plan, and stop hiding in optionality.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thiel sorts attitudes to the future on two lines: optimistic or pessimistic, and definite or indefinite. A definite view holds that the future can be known well enough to plan for and shape. An indefinite view treats it as chance, so the sensible thing is to keep options open and spread your bets. He argues that his own society has become optimistic and indefinite: people expect things to improve and have no plan for making them improve. It shows in students who collect credentials in order to be ready for anything, and ready for nothing in particular. His advice is to decide on the one best thing to do, and do it. Likely to trip me up: keeping options open feels prudent, and committing means I can be visibly wrong. Note: this is opinion, and it pulls against writers in this database who argue for optionality and for sampling widely before committing. Both can be right at different stages. (Source: Zero to One, Ch. 6.)
Optionality (Antifragile, Nassim Nicholas Taleb): the opposing case, for keeping choices open. Your Primary Aim (The E-Myth Revisited, Michael E. Gerber): a definite plan starts with a definite picture of the life you want.
Decision-Making & Risk
You Are Not a Lottery Ticket
Ch. 6, You Are Not a Lottery Ticket. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2014).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 13; 27
Plan: I will write a one-page plan for the next three years with one main bet. I will list the options I am keeping open 'just in case', and close two of them so their time goes to the bet.
definite optimism, plan, commitment, optionality, luck, hedging, credentials, future, conviction, well-rounded, career, one best thing, indefinite, options open, design, long term, bets, agency, drifting, decisiveness
You keep every door open: another course, another side project, another maybe. You call it flexibility. Years pass, and no single thing gets built.
Write one sentence: 'In three years I will have built ...' Then list two options you are keeping open that do not serve it, and close one.
Treat the future as something you can plan and build, not as chance to hedge against. A definite plan beats keeping every option open.
Competing Against Luck
Single Model
Clayton M. Christensen, Taddy Hall, Karen Dillon and David S. Duncan
Not started
Deal with what holds me back from a change, as well as what draws me towards it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors describe four forces at work whenever someone considers switching to something new. Two drive the change: the push of the present situation, meaning the frustration that makes you look for something better, and the pull of the new solution. Two oppose it, and they say these are the ones innovators forget: the habits of the present, since the old way is familiar and costs no thought, and the anxiety of choosing something new, with its cost, the learning it needs and the chance it will not work. Change happens only when the first pair outweighs the second. They point out that hiring something new always means firing something old, and that the old thing has its own hold on us. The practical lesson is that adding more attraction often fails, where removing one anxiety or loosening one habit succeeds. Likely to trip me up: I add more reasons to change, when the blocker is a small fear I have not named. Note: a framework from consulting interviews, not tested research. It fits well-supported work on status quo bias. (Source: Competing Against Luck, Ch. 5.)
Shrink the Change (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): lower the anxiety by making the first step small. The Endowment Effect (Misbehaving, Richard H. Thaler): why the old way holds on.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Forces of Progress
Section 2, Ch. 5, How to Hear What Your Customers Don't Say. Starts on p. 95 (HarperBusiness, 2016, from the book's contents listing).
Exercise / move daily; Quit smoking / vaping; Eat healthier
01; 10; 02
Plan: For one change I keep failing to make, I will draw four boxes: push, pull, habit and anxiety. I will write at least two items in each. Then I will work on one item from the habit box and one from the anxiety box before adding any more motivation.
forces of progress, push, pull, habit, anxiety, switching, resistance, change, status quo, fear of new, motivation, barriers, inertia, behaviour change, brakes, hiring and firing, uncertainty, old way, decision, stuck
You want the change, and the new option is clearly better. You still do not switch. Something familiar, and a small unnamed worry, hold you in place.
For one change you keep putting off, write four lists: what pushes me, what pulls me, what habit holds me, what worries me. Tackle one worry.
Change needs the push of today's problem and the pull of the new option to beat two brakes: the habit of the present and fear of the new.
Competing Against Luck
Single Model
Clayton M. Christensen, Taddy Hall, Karen Dillon and David S. Duncan
Not started
Find out what job my bad habits are doing for me, so I can hire something better for the same job.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors tell of a fast-food chain that wanted to sell more milkshakes. Asking customers what they wanted, and improving the product to match, changed nothing. A researcher then stood in a restaurant and watched. Many shakes were sold early in the morning, to people alone, who took them away. When he asked, it turned out they had a long, dull drive ahead and wanted something to keep one hand busy and hold off hunger until mid-morning. The shake was competing with bananas, bagels and boredom, not with other milkshakes. The authors' theory is that people hire a product to make progress in a particular circumstance, and that the circumstance explains the choice better than the customer's age or income does. Elsewhere in the book they apply the same question to a smoker's cigarette break. Likely to trip me up: the real job is often one I would rather not admit to. Note: a theory built from consulting cases, not from controlled tests. Using it on habits fits the better-tested idea of keeping the reward and changing the routine. (Source: Competing Against Luck, Ch. 1.)
The Habit Loop (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): find the reward the habit delivers. Golden Rule of Habit Change (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): keep the cue and the reward, and swap the routine.
Habits & Behavior Change
Jobs to Be Done
Section 1, Ch. 1, The Milk Shake Dilemma. Starts on p. 3 (HarperBusiness, 2016, from the book's contents listing).
Quit smoking / vaping; Cut phone / social-media use; Cut junk food / emotional eating
10; 06; 19
Plan: For one week, each time I reach for the habit I will note the situation and what progress I was after: a break, company, calm, a reward. Then I will pick a replacement that does the same job, and test it for two weeks.
jobs to be done, hire, progress, circumstance, milkshake, bad habits, substitute, reward, underlying need, smoking break, scrolling, snacking, motivation, why, situation, replacement, customer, purpose, real reason, function
You try to drop a habit by force, and it comes back. You never asked what it was doing for you, so the job is still open and the habit gets rehired.
Pick one habit you want to drop. Ask: what job did I hire it to do, in what situation? Name one other thing that could do that same job.
People do not buy things. They hire them to make progress in a situation. Ask what job a product, or a habit, has been hired to do.
Zero to One
Single Model
Peter Thiel with Blake Masters
Not started
Pick an audience small enough that I can be the best option for it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thiel's advice to new ventures is to start with a very small market and dominate it. A large share of a small market is easier to win and to defend than a small share of a large one. His examples are an online bookshop that sold only books at first, and his own payments company, which ignored the general public and concentrated on a few thousand heavy sellers on one auction site until most of them used it. The ideal first market is a small, concentrated group of particular people, served by few or no competitors. Only after owning it do you expand into markets next door, in a planned order. He warns against describing your market so narrowly that it is a fiction, and against defining it so widely that you are nobody's first choice. Likely to trip me up: a small audience feels like small ambition. Note: Thiel argues from his own companies and investments, which are the survivors. (Source: Zero to One, Ch. 5.)
The Zorro Circle (The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor): master a small circle first, then widen it. Specific Knowledge (The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, Eric Jorgenson): what only you can offer decides which niche.
Systems & Strategy
Start Small and Monopolize
Ch. 5, Last Mover Advantage. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2014).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
17; 13
Plan: I will describe my target group in one sentence, narrow enough that I could name twenty real people in it. I will make everything for that group for six months, and widen only once they are telling others about it.
niche, small market, dominate, focus, audience, start small, expand, specific group, positioning, channel, freelancer, first customers, beachhead, concentration, scale later, monopoly, target, narrow, differentiation, sequence
You aim your work at 'everyone', since that looks like the bigger prize. You end up as the tenth choice for all of them and the first choice for none.
Describe the smallest group for whom your work could be the best available. Write one sentence. If you cannot name real people in it, narrow it again.
Begin with a market small enough to dominate: a specific group that nobody serves well. Own it fully, then widen out step by step.
The Innovator's Dilemma
Single Model
Clayton M. Christensen
Not started
Stop adding quality that nobody needs, and notice what people now choose on.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Christensen observes that technology usually improves faster than customers' ability to use the improvement. At some point a product offers more performance than most people need, which he calls performance oversupply. When that happens, the basis on which people choose changes. He describes a common order. First people choose on function. Once that is more than enough, they choose on reliability, then on convenience, and last on price. A firm that keeps adding function after function has been oversupplied is making things nobody will pay for, and it leaves room for a simpler and more convenient rival. His cases include accounting software that beat better-equipped products by being easy to use, and an insulin maker that spent heavily on a purer product when patients wanted a more convenient way to take the old one. Likely to trip me up: improving quality is what I know how to do, and it feels virtuous. Note: a pattern drawn from cases, not a law. The buyer's perspective it takes is a useful check on perfectionism. (Source: The Innovator's Dilemma, Ch. 9.)
The Minimum Effective Dose (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): past the threshold, more is waste. Premature Optimization (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): polishing the wrong thing.
Thinking & Reasoning
Performance Oversupply
Part Two, Ch. 9, Performance Provided, Market Demand, and the Product Life Cycle. Page not verified (Harvard Business School Press, 1997).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised; Save money / spend less
27; 13; 03
Plan: For my main piece of work I will ask three users what would make them choose it over an alternative. If the answer is ease, speed or price, I will freeze quality at its present level and work on those for a month.
good enough, oversupply, over-engineering, perfectionism, features, convenience, simplicity, price, reliability, customer needs, diminishing returns, quality, basis of competition, polish, gold plating, ease of use, buying decision, specs, upgrade, wasted effort
You keep improving the part that is already better than anyone needs. Meanwhile people pick a rival that is simpler, quicker to use, or cheaper.
Ask one person who uses your work: 'What would make this easier for you?' Compare their answer with what you were planning to improve.
Products improve faster than people's needs. Past 'good enough', extra quality is wasted, and people choose on simplicity, ease and price.
Good to Great
Single Model
Jim Collins
Not started
Find the overlap between what I love, what I can be excellent at, and what pays.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Collins borrows an old contrast. The fox knows many things, and the hedgehog knows one big thing. His great companies behaved like hedgehogs. Each had a simple idea that came from understanding the overlap of three circles. What can you be the best in the world at, and, just as important, what can you not be best at? What drives your economic engine? What are you deeply passionate about? He stresses that this is not a goal or a plan to be the best. It is an understanding of what you can be best at, and it may not be the thing you currently do. It took his companies about four years on average to reach that clarity, through repeated debate. Once they had it, they said no to anything that fell outside the three circles. Likely to trip me up: wishing my way into the first circle. Note: Collins's method has been criticised, and several of his great companies later declined. The three circles are a thinking tool, not a finding. (Source: Good to Great, Ch. 5.)
Specific Knowledge (The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, Eric Jorgenson): what you can be best at often feels like play to you. The Passion Hypothesis (So Good They Can't Ignore You, Cal Newport): a warning about leaning too hard on the passion circle.
Systems & Strategy
The Hedgehog Concept
Ch. 5, The Hedgehog Concept (Simplicity within the Three Circles). Page not verified (HarperBusiness, 2001).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
17; 13
Plan: I will draw the three circles and fill each one honestly, including a list of what I cannot be best at. I will revisit the drawing every quarter, since Collins says the answer took his companies years to find.
hedgehog concept, three circles, passion, best at, economic engine, focus, career, simplicity, strategy, fox and hedgehog, saying no, strengths, niche, clarity, vocation, overlap, one big thing, self-knowledge, direction, income
You chase what pays and hate it. Or you chase what you love and cannot live on it. Or you do what you are merely competent at. You never look for the overlap.
Draw three circles: what I love, what I could be best at, what pays. Write three items in each. Circle anything that appears in all three.
Find where three circles meet: what you love, what you could be best at, and what pays. Build there, and say no to what falls outside.
Competing Against Luck
Single Model
Clayton M. Christensen, Taddy Hall, Karen Dillon and David S. Duncan
Not started
Stop mistaking buying for doing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors separate two moments. The Big Hire is when you buy the product. The Little Hire is when you actually use it, and it has to happen again each time. Companies measure the first one and declare success. The authors say the second is the only real evidence that the job is being done. Plenty of products are bought and then sit in a cupboard or on a phone, never used. The buyer made the Big Hire with a picture of progress in mind. In daily life the product lost out, at each Little Hire, to habit and to easier alternatives. They advise designing for the moment of use. Likely to trip me up: the purchase itself gives me a small feeling of progress, which can stand in for the real thing. Note: a framework from consulting cases, not tested research. It fits the large body of evidence that intentions often fail to turn into action. Reading it as a rule for my own purchases is a small extension of the authors' point. (Source: Competing Against Luck, Ch. 5.)
The 20-Second Rule (The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor): make the moment of use easy. Signs It Has Become a Habit (Mini Habits, Stephen Guise): the evidence that the Little Hire is secure.
Habits & Behavior Change
Big Hire, Little Hire
Section 2, Ch. 5, How to Hear What Your Customers Don't Say. Starts on p. 95 (HarperBusiness, 2016, from the book's contents listing).
Exercise / move daily; Read / learn more; Save money / spend less
01; 09; 03
Plan: Before I buy anything meant to improve me, I will write down when, where and how often I will use it, and what it replaces in my week. I will review my last five such purchases and either schedule their use or let them go.
big hire, little hire, buying, using, unused, gym membership, courses, books unread, purchase, follow through, intention, consumption, shelf, subscriptions, self-improvement, waste, usage, daily use, equipment, illusion of progress
You buy the gym membership, the course, the book and the app. Buying feels like progress. None of them gets opened after the second week.
Pick one thing you bought and do not use. Write exactly when and where you will use it this week. If you cannot, cancel it or give it away.
Buying is the Big Hire. Using it, day after day, is the Little Hire. Many things are bought and never used. Design for the Little Hire.
The Innovator's Dilemma
Single Model
Clayton M. Christensen
Not started
Keep my fixed costs low enough that I can still afford to take a small, promising opening.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Christensen shows that established firms find it easy to move up-market, towards customers who pay more, and very hard to move down. As a firm climbs, its costs rise to fit the higher margins, and lower-margin business stops making sense for it. His example is the steel industry. Small mills using a cheaper process began with the lowest-grade product. The big mills were glad to leave that business, and their profit figures improved as they did so. The small mills then moved up one product tier at a time, and each time the big mills withdrew with relief. There was no step at which going back down made financial sense. Likely to trip me up: each rise in my spending feels earned and harmless at the time. Note: this is Christensen's account of companies. Reading it as a warning about personal lifestyle costs and a career change is my own extension, not his claim. The wider theory has also been criticised. (Source: The Innovator's Dilemma, Ch. 4.)
The Fulfillment Curve (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): past the point of enough, more spending buys less. Career Capital (So Good They Can't Ignore You, Cal Newport): what gives you the freedom to move.
Decision-Making & Risk
What Goes Up, Can't Go Down
Part One, Ch. 4, What Goes Up, Can't Go Down. Page not verified (Harvard Business School Press, 1997).
Reduce debt / control spending; Learn a skill / upskill; Save money / spend less
22; 17; 03
Plan: I will work out the lowest monthly figure I could live on and compare it with my current spending. I will treat the gap as the price of my freedom to start small, and cut one fixed cost each quarter until that gap is one I can stand.
fixed costs, lifestyle creep, golden handcuffs, up-market, margins, career change, trapped, salary, overheads, starting small, freedom, cost structure, downshifting, steel mills, options, expenses, runway, commitment, side project, affordability
A small, promising opening appears. You cannot afford to take it, since your rent, your loans and your habits now need your full salary to stand still.
Work out your lowest livable monthly cost and your actual monthly cost. The gap shows how trapped you are. Pick one fixed cost to cut.
As you move to bigger, better-paid work, your costs rise to match. Small openings stop looking worth it, so you cannot go back down.
The Talent Code
Single Model
Daniel Coyle
Not started
Practise where I make mistakes, not where I look good.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Coyle visited places that produce far more talent than their size would predict. He found the same kind of practice in all of them, and calls it deep practice. Learners work at the edge of their ability, make errors, notice them and correct them, again and again. It looks slow and clumsy from outside. He tells of a small-sided version of football that Brazilian players grow up on. The ball is heavier and the pitch is tight, so players touch the ball far more often and must solve problems at speed. He also tells how early pilots learned to fly blind in a ground simulator, where they could crash many times a day in safety. He quotes a learning researcher on the point that difficulties which slow you down now tend to produce stronger learning later. Likely to trip me up: easy practice feels better, and I take fluency for progress. Note: Coyle is a journalist, and his visits are anecdotes. The core claim matches well-supported research on effortful practice. His explanation in terms of myelin in the brain is simplified and partly speculative. (Source: The Talent Code, Ch. 1.)
The Flow Channel (Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi): challenge set just beyond your skill. The OK Plateau (Moonwalking with Einstein, Joshua Foer): comfortable practice stops improvement.
Learning & Knowledge
The Sweet Spot
Part I, Ch. 1, The Sweet Spot. Starts on p. 11 (Bantam, 2009, from the book's contents pages).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more; Exercise / move daily
17; 09; 01
Plan: In each practice session I will spend the first twenty minutes on the hardest part, at a level where I fail about a third of the time. I will note each error and fix it on the spot before going on.
deep practice, sweet spot, edge of ability, mistakes, struggle, errors, correction, effortful, skill, futsal, simulator, difficulty, learning, practice quality, fluency illusion, improvement, feedback, challenge, slow, deliberate
You practise what you can already do, since it feels good and sounds good. An hour passes pleasantly, and you are no better than when you began.
In today's practice, find the part where you fail about one time in three. Stay there for twenty minutes, and fix each error as it happens.
Skill grows fastest at the edge of your ability, where you make mistakes, notice them and fix them. Smooth, easy practice builds little.
Good to Great
Single Model
Jim Collins
Not started
Keep pushing in one direction long enough for momentum to build.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Collins asks the reader to picture a huge, heavy flywheel. You push, and it barely moves. You keep pushing in the same direction, and after a long effort it completes one turn. You do not stop. It moves a little faster, and at some point its own weight begins to work for you. If someone asked which push made it go fast, there would be no answer. It was all of them together. He found that from the outside, great companies seemed to change in a single dramatic moment. From the inside, people described no such moment, only steady effort in one direction. The comparison companies were caught in what he calls the doom loop. They launched new programmes, brought in new leaders and lurched in new directions, and each change threw away the momentum they had. Likely to trip me up: early pushes show nothing, and a fresh plan always looks more exciting than the fiftieth push. Note: Collins's method has been criticised. The picture itself is sound and matches how compounding works. (Source: Good to Great, Ch. 8.)
Confounding Compounding (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): results arrive late and then all at once. Pivot or Persevere (The Lean Startup, Eric Ries): the counterweight, for when a direction really should change.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Flywheel and the Doom Loop
Ch. 8, The Flywheel and the Doom Loop. Page not verified (HarperBusiness, 2001).
Exercise / move daily; Be more productive / organised; Save money / spend less
01; 13; 03
Plan: I will choose one direction for each of three areas and commit to not changing the approach for six months. I will log one push a day. When I feel the urge to restart with a new plan, I will write it down and wait thirty days.
flywheel, momentum, consistency, doom loop, compounding, persistence, restarting, new plan, direction, patience, breakthrough, steady effort, habits, overnight success, programme hopping, build-up, discipline, long term, pushes, streak
Every few weeks you start a new diet, a new system or a new strategy. Each one is dropped before it can build, so you are always back at the first push.
Pick one area where you keep restarting. Choose one approach and write: 'I will not change this for six months.' Do today's push.
Big results come from pushing one heavy wheel in one direction, turn after turn, until it carries itself. Lurching to new plans resets it.
Zero to One
Single Model
Peter Thiel with Blake Masters
Not started
Find out where I actually think for myself, and where I only repeat what is around me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thiel opens with the question he asks in interviews: what important truth do very few people agree with you on? He says it is hard for two reasons. Most of what we know was taught to us and is agreed by definition. And giving an unpopular answer takes courage, which he thinks is rarer than intelligence. A good answer has the form: most people believe this, and the truth is the opposite. He links the question to progress. Copying what works takes the world from one to many. Doing something new takes it from nothing to one, and that starts with seeing something others do not. Likely to trip me up: being contrary for its own sake. An unpopular opinion is not true because it is unpopular. Note: Thiel is an investor arguing from his own experience, and a polarising public figure. The book grew out of his university lectures and is opinion, not research. (Source: Zero to One, Ch. 1.)
The Socratic Test (The Consolations of Philosophy, Alain de Botton): a belief is tested by reasons, not by how many hold it. The Outsider Test (The Scout Mindset, Julia Galef): look at your view as a stranger would.
Thinking & Reasoning
The Contrarian Question
Ch. 1, The Challenge of the Future. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2014).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: Once a month I will write an answer to the question for my own field. I will check each answer against two tests: can I give reasons, and would most people I respect disagree? I will keep the list and see which answers survive a year.
contrarian, independent thinking, truth, consensus, originality, conformity, courage, beliefs, interview question, new ideas, secrets, zero to one, copying, conviction, unpopular opinion, first principles, insight, niche, differentiation, reasons
Everything you believe about your field is what everyone else in it believes. You have no view of your own, so you can only copy what already exists.
Write one answer to: 'Most people in my field believe X. I think the truth is closer to Y, because ...' If you cannot, note that too.
Ask: what important truth do very few people agree with me on? A good answer is a belief you hold for reasons, which most people reject.
The Innovator's Dilemma
Single Model
Clayton M. Christensen
Not started
Know what my routines and priorities make me unable to do, before I take on something new.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Christensen says that what an organisation can and cannot do is set by three things. Resources are what it has: people, equipment, money, information. Processes are the patterns by which it turns resources into results, both the formal ones and the habitual ones. Values are the standards by which it sets priorities and decides what is worth doing. Resources are flexible and can be bought or moved. Processes and values are inflexible by design, since their purpose is to make people do the same thing in the same way each time. It follows that the very things which make an organisation good at its present work define what it is bad at. He argues that when a new task does not fit the existing processes and values, it needs a separate unit with its own. Likely to trip me up: I assume that if I have the skill, I can do the new thing, and I forget that my routines and priorities are built for the old one. Note: a framework from case research. Applying it to one person is a modest extension. (Source: The Innovator's Dilemma, Ch. 8.)
Make Strength Productive (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): peaks come with valleys. Look at the Machine from the Higher Level (Principles, Ray Dalio): see the design that produces your results.
Systems & Strategy
Resources, Processes, Values
Part Two, Ch. 8, How to Appraise Your Organization's Capabilities and Disabilities. Page not verified (the chapter appears in the HarperBusiness edition, 2000).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
17; 13
Plan: Before a new kind of project I will write three short lists: what I have, how I habitually work, and what I always put first. For each item on the last two, I will ask if it helps or blocks the new work, and set up a separate routine where it blocks.
resources, processes, values, capabilities, disabilities, routines, priorities, habits, organisation, new task, fit, inflexibility, separate unit, strengths and weaknesses, change, skills, culture, self-audit, blocking, transition
You have the skill and the tools for the new project, and it still stalls. Your daily routine and your priorities were built for the old work.
Write three lists for a project that is stalling: what I have, how I usually work, what I always put first. Mark which habit or priority is blocking it.
What you can do is set by what you have, how you habitually work, and what you put first. The habits that make you good also limit you.
Competing Against Luck
Single Model
Clayton M. Christensen, Taddy Hall, Karen Dillon and David S. Duncan
Not started
See the social and emotional reasons behind what I buy and do, not only the practical one.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors define a job as the progress a person is trying to make in a particular circumstance. They insist that every job has three dimensions. The functional one is the practical task. The social one is how the choice makes us appear to other people. The emotional one is how it makes us feel. Companies usually study only the first, and then cannot work out why people pass over the product that looks better on paper. Often the social and emotional sides carry more weight than the functional one. A parent who buys a child a milkshake in the afternoon is mainly hiring it in order to feel like a kind parent. The authors add that the circumstance is central, and that the same person hires different things in different situations. Likely to trip me up: I explain my choices to myself in functional terms, since those sound rational. Note: a framework built from cases, not tested research. It fits well-supported findings that emotion and status drive many purchases. (Source: Competing Against Luck, Ch. 2.)
Social Currency (Contagious, Jonah Berger): the social side of what we choose. Your Feelings Come From Your Needs (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): look under the choice for the need it serves.
Thinking & Reasoning
Functional, Social, Emotional
Section 1, Ch. 2, Progress, Not Products. Starts on p. 21 (HarperBusiness, 2016, from the book's contents listing).
Reduce debt / control spending; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Save money / spend less
22; 26; 03
Plan: Before any purchase over a set amount I will write three lines: what it does, how I expect it to make me look, and how I expect it to make me feel. If the last two carry the decision, I will look for a cheaper way to get them.
functional, social, emotional, motives, purchases, status, feelings, rationalising, spending, image, identity, impulse buying, reasons, three dimensions, justification, brand, self-image, decision, hidden motive, wants
You justify the expensive phone, car or course on its features. The real reasons are how it makes you look and feel, which you never examine.
Take your last big purchase. Write what it does, how it makes you look, and how it makes you feel. Be honest about which of the three decided it.
Every job has three sides: the practical task, how it makes you look to others, and how it makes you feel. The last two often decide.
The Innovator's Dilemma
Single Model
Clayton M. Christensen
Not started
Watch the cheap, simple and 'not good enough' options in my field, as well as the leaders.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Christensen studied the computer disk drive industry, where the leading firms were overturned again and again. He found that the leaders were excellent at what he calls sustaining innovation, which means making products better along the lines their best customers already valued. They failed at disruptive innovation. Disruptive products began as worse on the measure that mattered to the main customers, and were smaller, simpler and cheaper. The leaders' customers did not want them, so the leaders quite rationally ignored them. The new products found a foothold with other users, improved year by year, and in time became good enough to take the main market. His uncomfortable conclusion is that these firms failed by doing what good management teaches: listening to their customers and investing where the returns were highest. Likely to trip me up: the new thing really is worse at first, so dismissing it feels like good judgement. Note: an influential theory that has been criticised. Later reviews found that many of its cases do not fit every part of it. (Source: The Innovator's Dilemma, Ch. 1.)
Local and Global Optimum (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): being the best on your own hill is not the same as being safe. Learn to Drop Your Tools (Range, David Epstein): expertise can stop you seeing the shift.
Systems & Strategy
Sustaining and Disruptive
Part One, Ch. 1, How Can Great Firms Fail? Insights from the Hard Disk Drive Industry. Page not verified (Harvard Business School Press, 1997).
Learn a skill / upskill; Build emergency fund / invest
17; 20
Plan: Twice a year I will list the tools and methods in my field that serious people dismiss as toys. For each I will note who uses it, what it costs, and how fast it is improving. I will learn one of them to a working level.
disruption, sustaining innovation, disruptive innovation, incumbents, good enough, cheaper, simpler, new technology, career risk, toys, obsolete, customers, low end, skills, industry change, improvement curve, dismissal, foothold, upstarts, established
A new tool in your field looks like a toy, and the serious people laugh at it. You keep polishing the old skill, and the toy keeps getting better.
Name one tool or method in your field that experts dismiss as not good enough. Find out who is using it, and how much it improved in the past year.
Sustaining changes improve what your best customers already value. Disruptive ones start out worse, cheaper and simpler, and then climb.
The Talent Code
Single Model
Daniel Coyle
Not started
Give, and ask for, short and specific instructions in place of praise or speeches.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Coyle describes a study in which two education researchers sat through a season of practices run by one of the most successful basketball coaches in American college history. They expected stirring speeches. They coded more than two thousand separate acts of teaching. Only a small share were praise, and a similar small share were expressions of displeasure. About three quarters were pure information: what to do, how to do it, when to push harder. His comments were short, often a few seconds long, and aimed at the particular player in front of him. A favourite pattern was to show the right way, then the wrong way the player had just used, then the right way again. Coyle found the same manner in the other master coaches he visited: quiet, watchful people who gave small, precise, well-timed adjustments. Likely to trip me up: when I want to help, I explain at length, or I cheer. Note: the coaching study is a real piece of published research about a single coach. Coyle's wider argument is journalism. (Source: The Talent Code, Ch. 8.)
The Artful Critique (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): be specific and offer a way forward. Task-Relevant Maturity (High Output Management, Andrew S. Grove): how much instruction depends on experience with the task.
People & Communication
Short, Specific Corrections
Part III, Ch. 8, The Talent Whisperers. Starts on p. 159 (Bantam, 2009, from the book's contents pages).
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 17
Plan: When I help someone learn, I will limit each comment to one sentence that says what to do next. When I ask for feedback, I will ask: what is the one thing I should change on the next attempt?
coaching, feedback, specific, short instructions, praise, teaching, information, correction, demonstration, mentor, lectures, parenting, training, precise, timing, basketball coach, guidance, what to do next, tutoring, master coach
When you teach or give feedback, you either say 'great job' or deliver a long talk. Neither tells the person what to do differently on the next try.
Next time you help someone, give one instruction of under ten words about the very next attempt. Skip the praise and skip the theory.
Great coaches rarely praise or lecture. They give a stream of brief, precise instructions fitted to the person: do this, not that.
The Talent Code
Single Model
Daniel Coyle
Not started
Break hard skills into pieces small enough, and slow enough, that I can get each one right.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Coyle gives three rules. The first is to chunk it up. Take in the whole skill first, by watching or listening until you can picture it. Then break it into its smallest pieces. Then slow each piece right down. He describes a music school where students play so slowly that someone walking past could not name the tune. Going slowly lets you notice errors you would otherwise skate over, and gives you a working picture of how the skill is built. The second rule is to repeat it, with attention. He notes that even top performers manage only a few hours a day of this kind of practice, since it is tiring. The third is to learn to feel it, which means becoming sensitive to the sensation of being slightly off, so that you notice your own mistakes. Likely to trip me up: slow practice is boring, and playing the whole thing at full speed is fun. Note: Coyle is a journalist reporting on coaches and schools. The method agrees with research on skill learning. His brain explanation is simplified. (Source: The Talent Code, Ch. 4.)
Easy, Light, Smooth, Fast (Born to Run, Christopher McDougall): form before speed. Making Smaller Circles (The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin): go deep on the smallest unit.
Learning & Knowledge
Chunk It, Slow It, Repeat It
Part I, Ch. 4, The Three Rules of Deep Practice. Starts on p. 74 (Bantam, 2009, from the book's contents pages).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: For the skill I am learning I will watch or read a complete expert example first. Then I will split it into the smallest units I can, practise each at half speed until it is error-free three times running, and only then link two units together.
chunking, slow practice, repetition, break it down, small pieces, errors, music practice, whole then parts, attention, skill building, half speed, feel, technique, language learning, coding, drills, linking, precision, tiring, method
You run through the whole piece at full speed, stumble at the same three places each time, and carry on. The errors get practised along with the rest.
Take the one spot where you always stumble. Isolate just that chunk. Do it at half speed until it is right three times in a row.
Take in the whole skill, break it into the smallest chunks, and practise each slowly enough to catch every error. Then join them up.
The Talent Code
Single Model
Daniel Coyle
Not started
Make a lot of bad early work on purpose, since that is how good work gets built.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Coyle looks at three famous clusters of talent that are usually explained by genius. The Brontë sisters wrote great novels, apparently out of nowhere. He reports a scholar's finding that as children they produced a huge quantity of tiny handmade books, and that this early writing was derivative, slapdash and full of errors. It was practice, and there was a vast amount of it. A group of Californian skateboarders changed their sport after a drought gave them empty swimming pools to fall in, day after day. The artists of Renaissance Florence came up through workshops where boys spent years grinding pigments, copying and correcting under a master. In each case the visible brilliance sat on top of a great volume of early, flawed, corrected work. Likely to trip me up: I compare my first attempts with other people's finished work and conclude that I lack talent. Note: Coyle is a journalist, and these are historical stories chosen to fit his case. The point agrees with research on how expertise develops. (Source: The Talent Code, Ch. 3.)
Quantity Breeds Quality (Originals, Adam Grant): more attempts, better best work. Perfectionism Is Fear in Fancy Shoes (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): waiting to be good is a way of hiding.
Learning & Knowledge
Early Work Is Meant to Be Bad
Part I, Ch. 3, The Brontës, the Z-Boys, and the Renaissance. Starts on p. 54 (Bantam, 2009, from the book's contents pages).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 17
Plan: I will set a quota of small, finished, imperfect pieces, one a week for three months, and publish or share each one. I will judge the three months by the count and by what I learned, not by the quality of any single piece.
early work, bad drafts, juvenilia, genius myth, volume, practice, beginners, perfectionism, first attempts, comparison, apprenticeship, quantity, talent, imperfect, publishing, learning curve, creative work, quota, skateboarders, workshop
Your first attempts are embarrassing, so you decide you have no talent and stop. You are comparing your first draft with someone else's thousandth.
Make one small, complete, imperfect piece today and show it to one person. Number it '1'. The aim is to reach number 50, not to make number 1 good.
Clusters of genius came from masses of early, clumsy practice. The Brontës' childhood books were poor copies. Bad first work is the route.
Zero to One
Single Model
Peter Thiel with Blake Masters
Not started
Notice when I want something mainly because a rival wants it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thiel argues that we are trained to compete from school onwards, and come to treat competition as a sign of value. His claim is that rivalry makes people more alike. Rivals fix their attention on each other, copy each other's moves, and fight over prizes that matter less than they seem, while the real opportunity lies somewhere else. He contrasts two explanations of why people fight. One says they fight because they are different. The other, which he takes from Shakespeare, says they fight because they are the same and want the same thing. He tells of missing out on a prestigious clerkship he had competed hard for, and seeing later that winning it would have kept him on a conventional track. Likely to trip me up: competition gives a clear scoreboard, and clear scoreboards are hard to walk away from. Note: Thiel is an investor arguing from his own experience, and a polarising figure. This is opinion, not research. (Source: Zero to One, Ch. 4.)
Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday (12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson): a scoreboard with one player. Social Currency (Contagious, Jonah Berger): why rivals' wins are the ones you get to see.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Ideology of Competition
Ch. 4, The Ideology of Competition. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2014).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Learn a skill / upskill; Manage stress / anxiety
26; 17; 12
Plan: I will list the contests I am in, at work and online. For each I will write what winning would actually give me. Where the honest answer is 'beating them', I will look for a version of the goal that no rival is chasing.
competition, rivalry, imitation, status, comparison, prestige, envy, copying, scoreboard, career ladder, conformity, prizes, school, mimetic, rivals, differentiation, winning, distraction, ambition, track
You chase the same title, the same numbers and the same prizes as everyone around you. You fight hard for them, and never ask if you wanted them.
Name one thing you are competing for. Ask: if nobody else wanted it, would I? If not, write down what you would want in its place.
Rivalry makes you copy your rivals and overvalue what they want. Fighting harder on the same ground is a good way to lose sight of the goal.
Principles
Single Model
Ray Dalio
Not started
Turn my painful moments into written lessons while they are still fresh.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dalio writes this one as an equation: pain plus reflection equals progress. He argues that pain of the right kind is a signal that there is something to learn, much as soreness follows useful exercise. Most people react to psychological pain by looking away from it or blaming someone. He trained himself to do the reverse, and to treat the moment of pain as a cue to stop and reflect. He says reflecting while the pain is present, or soon afterwards, is what produces the lesson, and that doing this again and again turns into a habit of seeking out what is uncomfortable. He writes his lessons down as principles so that they can be reused. Likely to trip me up: the urge to move on quickly and feel better. Note: Dalio is a hedge fund founder writing from his own experience, not from research. Journalists and former employees have criticised how his firm's culture of radical openness worked in practice. (Source: Principles, Life Principle 1.7.)
The After Action Report (Can't Hurt Me, David Goggins): review every failure in writing. No Fulfilment Without Difficulty (The Consolations of Philosophy, Alain de Botton): difficulty is raw material.
Mindset & Emotions
Pain + Reflection = Progress
Part II, Life Principles, 1, Embrace Reality and Deal with It, principle 1.7. The chapter starts on p. 132 (Simon & Schuster, 2017, from the book's contents pages).
Improve mental health / be happier; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Journal / self-reflect
04; 27; 24
Plan: I will keep a pain log. Whenever something stings, I will write within a day what happened, what it shows about my part in it, and one principle for next time. I will reread the log monthly.
pain, reflection, progress, mistakes, lessons, journal, failure, discomfort, growth, avoidance, setbacks, review, principles, learning, signal, criticism, resilience, self-awareness, feedback, hard moments
Something goes badly. It hurts, so you distract yourself, blame someone, or move on fast. The same thing happens again a year later.
Think of one thing that stung this week. Write three lines: what happened, what it shows about my part in it, and what I will do differently.
Pain is a signal that something needs learning. Most people look away. Stop and reflect on it while it is fresh, and it turns into progress.
The Lean Startup
Single Model
Eric Ries
Not started
Finish and release one complete piece at a time, so I find my mistakes early.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ries retells a story from the lean manufacturing literature about stuffing newsletters into envelopes. The obvious method is to fold them all, then stuff them all, then seal them all. The other way is to finish one envelope completely before starting the next. Finishing one at a time turns out to be faster, even though it feels slower. The batch method carries hidden work: sorting, stacking and moving piles about. There is a bigger benefit. If the letters do not fit the envelopes, the person working one at a time finds out on the first envelope. The person working in batches finds out after everything has been folded. Ries applies the same logic to releasing software many times a day in tiny changes, so that a fault is traced to its cause within minutes. Likely to trip me up: large batches feel efficient, since I get into a rhythm on a single step. Note: the underlying principle comes from the Toyota production system, where it is well established. (Source: The Lean Startup, Ch. 9.)
Delays Add Up, Gains Do Not (The Goal, Eliyahu M. Goldratt and Jeff Cox): piles between steps slow the whole line. Stupid Small (Mini Habits, Stephen Guise): the smallest complete unit gets done.
Productivity & Focus
Small Batches
Part Three, Ch. 9, Batch. Starts on p. 184 (Crown Business, 2011, from the publisher's contents listing).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Limit multitasking / context-switching
13; 07; 28
Plan: For my next five pieces of work I will take each one all the way to finished and published before I start the next. I will compare total time, and the number of late surprises, with my usual way of batching each stage.
small batches, one at a time, single piece flow, batching, envelopes, finish, release, feedback, errors, rework, publish, workflow, toyota, lean, work in progress, iteration, shipping, pipeline, rhythm, early detection
You write ten scripts, then record ten, then edit ten. At the editing stage you find a flaw that runs through all ten, and you have nothing finished.
Take one piece of work all the way from start to finished today, before you touch the next. Note what you learned that batching would have hidden.
Finishing one item at a time beats doing each step in bulk. It feels slower and is faster, and problems show up at once, not at the end.
The Lean Startup
Single Model
Eric Ries
Not started
Get to the root of recurring problems without turning it into a big project.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ries takes the method from Toyota. When something goes wrong, ask why it happened, then ask why that happened, and keep going about five times. A technical fault usually turns out to have a human cause a few levels down, such as someone who was never trained. His own addition is proportional investment: make a fix at each of the five levels, and scale the effort to the size of the problem. A small glitch earns a small fix at every level, and a larger fix only if it happens again. This stops a team from swinging between ignoring root causes and over-building prevention. He warns that the method can turn into 'five blames', where people use it to find a culprit. His defence is to have everyone affected in the room, and to treat a first-time mistake as the fault of the system. Likely to trip me up: I stop at the first why, since it already gives me something to fix. Note: a long-standing practice in manufacturing, not a research finding. (Source: The Lean Startup, Ch. 11.)
Generic or Exception? (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): a problem that recurs needs a rule, not a patch. The Why Drill (Mini Habits, Stephen Guise): the same repeated question, turned on your own motives.
Thinking & Reasoning
Five Whys
Part Three, Ch. 11, Adapt. Starts on p. 224 (Crown Business, 2011, from the publisher's contents listing).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus
13; 07
Plan: The next time something goes wrong twice, I will write down the five whys and commit to one small fix at each level. I will set the size of the fix to match the size of the problem, and note if the problem comes back.
five whys, root cause, recurring problem, toyota, symptoms, blame, proportional fix, post-mortem, process, training, prevention, mistakes, diagnosis, why, system, incident, repeat errors, lean, investigation, small fix
The same thing goes wrong again. You fix the visible fault again. You never reach the cause, or else you overreact and build a huge system to prevent it.
Take one thing that went wrong this week. Write 'why?' and answer it, five times in a row. Pick one small fix for the deepest answer.
Ask 'why?' five times to get from a symptom to its root cause. Then make a small fix at each level, in proportion to the problem.
Measure What Matters
Single Model
John Doerr
Not started
Cap what I am trying to achieve at a number I can actually pursue.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Doerr's first claim for the system is focus. He quotes Andy Grove's view that each extra thing we commit to takes away from our ability to do any of the others, and his line that the art of management lies in picking the few activities with the greatest leverage. The working rule is three to five objectives in a cycle, and no more than about five key results under each. The list does double duty. It says what matters, and it says just as clearly what does not matter for now, which frees people to say no. He also warns about key results that measure only quantity. Pair each one with a measure of quality, so that a target is not met by cutting corners. Likely to trip me up: every goal on my list feels important, and dropping one feels like a failure. Note: Doerr is a venture capitalist promoting a system, and the book is built on success stories from companies he backed. (Source: Measure What Matters, Ch. 4.)
First Things First (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): deciding what not to do is the hard part. The 90 Percent Rule (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): if it is not a clear yes, it is a no.
Productivity & Focus
Less Is More: Three to Five Objectives
Part One, Ch. 4, Superpower #1: Focus and Commit to Priorities. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2018).
Limit multitasking / context-switching; Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus
28; 13; 07
Plan: Each quarter I will list every goal I am carrying, keep three, and write the rest on a 'not this quarter' list. When a new goal arrives during the quarter, it must replace one of the three.
focus, priorities, three to five, fewer goals, less is more, saying no, overcommitment, quarter, okr, trade-offs, not now list, goal overload, commitment, clarity, limits, essential, choosing, multitasking, planning, capacity
You have eleven goals for the year. Each gets a little attention and none gets enough. In December you have eleven things that are half done.
List every goal you are carrying right now. Circle three. Write the others on a 'not this quarter' list and put it away.
A few well-chosen objectives say what matters and, just as loudly, what does not. Three to five per cycle is the limit. More is no focus.
The Lean Startup
Single Model
Eric Ries
Not started
Measure my projects by what I have proved, not by how much I have built.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ries tells how his own company spent six months building a product on an assumption about customers that turned out to be false. Almost nobody wanted it. He could have called that period a learning experience, and he points out that 'learning' is the oldest excuse for a failure to deliver. His answer is validated learning: progress is counted as what you have demonstrated, by experiment with real customers, about what they actually want. Anything built that does not contribute to that learning is waste, however well made. He later realised the same lesson could have been learned in weeks, with a far cruder product. Likely to trip me up: building feels like progress, and asking real people feels like risk. Note: Ries generalises from his own company and from lean manufacturing, so the evidence is mostly case-based. A randomised trial with Italian start-ups did find that founders trained to test their assumptions performed better. (Source: The Lean Startup, Ch. 3.)
The Law of Financial Viability (So Good They Can't Ignore You, Cal Newport): let people's behaviour vote. Premature Optimization (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): test before you polish.
Learning & Knowledge
Validated Learning
Part One, Ch. 3, Learn. Starts on p. 37 (Crown Business, 2011, from the publisher's contents listing).
Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised
17; 27; 13
Plan: For my main project I will write the one belief it depends on, and run the cheapest test of that belief within two weeks. I will keep a log of beliefs tested, with the evidence for each.
validated learning, experiments, assumptions, customers, evidence, progress, waste, building, testing, side project, launch, feedback, proof, hypothesis, learning excuse, demand, prototype, research, real users, startup
You spend months building the thing, launch it, and nobody comes. You console yourself that you learned a lot. You could have learned it in a week.
Write the one belief your project depends on, such as 'people want this'. Design a test of it that you could run this week with real people.
Progress is what you have proved about what people want, shown by experiment. 'We learned a lot' is the usual excuse for a failed plan.
The E-Myth Revisited
Single Model
Michael E. Gerber
Not started
Spend regular time improving how my work gets done, as well as doing it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gerber's best-known line is that owners should work on their business and not only in it. He says most owners treat the business as a job, a place they go to do the work. He asks them to see it as a product in its own right, something to be designed, tested and improved, with the owner as its designer. His questions show the shift. How can I get the business to work without me? How can I get other people to work without my constant interference? How can I systematise it so that it gives the same result every time? He states plainly that your business is not your life, and that its purpose is to serve your life. In Part III he names three activities for this work: try something new, measure what it did, and make routine whatever proves to work. Likely to trip me up: daily work is urgent and design work is not, so the block will be the first thing I give up. Note: Gerber is a consultant writing a parable, not reporting research. (Source: The E-Myth Revisited, Ch. 9.)
Look at the Machine from the Higher Level (Principles, Ray Dalio): designer and worker are two roles. Managerial Leverage (High Output Management, Andrew S. Grove): time spent on the system multiplies.
Systems & Strategy
Work On It, Not In It
Part II, Ch. 9, Working On Your Business, Not In It. Page not verified (HarperBusiness, 1995).
Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill; Beat procrastination / focus
13; 17; 07
Plan: I will keep a fixed two-hour block each week for working on the system: writing one process down, removing one bottleneck, or testing one change. No production work is allowed in that block.
work on it not in it, systems, design, owner, step back, improvement, process, independence, job versus business, time block, strategy, freedom, automation, delegation, product, routine, innovation, measure, trap, busy owner
You left a job in order to be free, and built yourself a worse one: longer hours, no holidays, and a boss who never lets up, which is you.
Block one hour this week in which you do none of the work itself. Spend it on one question: how could this get done just as well without me?
Step back from doing the work and design how the work gets done. The business is a product you build. It is not a job you hold.
The E-Myth Revisited
Single Model
Michael E. Gerber
Not started
Get my recurring work out of my head and onto paper, so it runs the same way every time.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gerber holds up the business-format franchise as the model. What made it succeed, he argues, was the system for producing the product, which could be taught to anyone, more than the product itself. He asks owners to pretend that their business is the prototype for five thousand more just like it, even if they never plan to open a second. That pretence forces a set of rules. The business has to deliver the same result every time. It has to run on documented systems and not on the talent of particular people. All the work has to be written down in operations manuals. It has to be orderly. The benefit to the owner is a business that does not depend on them being there. Likely to trip me up: writing down what I do feels slower than simply doing it. Note: Gerber is a consultant. His rule that a system should run on the lowest possible level of skill is contested, since it can strip the judgement out of good jobs. Take the documentation and leave the de-skilling. (Source: The E-Myth Revisited, Ch. 8.)
Generic or Exception? (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): recurring work deserves a rule. Rules and Filters (Seeking Wisdom, Peter Bevelin): decide once, in advance.
Systems & Strategy
The Franchise Prototype
Part II, Ch. 8, The Franchise Prototype. Page not verified (HarperBusiness, 1995).
Be more productive / organised; Be more punctual / manage time; Limit multitasking / context-switching
13; 23; 28
Plan: Each week I will pick one recurring task and write it up as a checklist that a stranger could follow. I will test it by following only the list myself the next time, and fix whatever is missing.
franchise prototype, systems, documentation, checklist, operations manual, repeatable, consistency, process, delegation, scale, in your head, handover, standard, recurring tasks, replicate, order, workflow, template, independence, procedures
Everything runs through you, since only you know how it is done. You cannot take a week off, hand anything over, or get the same result twice.
Pick one recurring task. Write the steps so that a stranger could do it without asking you anything. Next time, follow your own list and fix the gaps.
Build your work as if you would hand it to 5,000 strangers to run. Whatever lives only in your head is a weak point. Write the system down.
Principles
Single Model
Ray Dalio
Not started
Get advice on big decisions from people who have actually done the thing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dalio advises against treating all opinions as equal. He defines believable people as those who have repeatedly and successfully done the thing in question, and who can explain clearly the cause and effect behind their approach. His principle is to triangulate: take an important question to several such people, preferably ones who are willing to disagree with you and with each other, and listen to how they reason. When believable people disagree, working out why is where most of the learning is. He gives a personal example of consulting several specialists about a worrying medical result. Their views differed sharply, and working through the differences led to a much better outcome than following the first opinion. At his firm this became a formal system, in which views are weighted by each person's track record on that kind of question. Likely to trip me up: I tend to ask whoever is nearest, or whoever is likely to agree. Note: Dalio writes from his own experience, and his firm's system has been criticised by former staff. (Source: Principles, Life Principle 3.4 and Work Principle 5.)
Circle of Competence (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charlie Munger): know whose circle the question sits in. Surrogation: Ask Someone Who Is There (Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert): other people's experience beats your own forecast.
Decision-Making & Risk
Triangulate with Believable People
Part II, Life Principles, 3, principle 3.4 (chapter starts on p. 182), and Part III, Work Principles, 5, Believability Weight Your Decision Making, which starts on p. 370 (Simon & Schuster, 2017, from the book's contents pages).
Build emergency fund / invest; Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
20; 17; 25
Plan: For each major decision I will find three people who have done it successfully more than once. I will ask each for their reasoning, not only their verdict. I will look hardest at the points where they disagree with each other or with me.
believability, advice, experts, track record, triangulate, opinions, decisions, second opinion, disagreement, mentors, reasoning, credibility, who to ask, investing, medical, career, weighting, experience, confidence, sources
You ask whoever is nearby what they think, and give equal weight to a confident friend and a person who has done it three times. Confidence wins.
For one decision you face, name three people who have done it successfully more than once. Ask one of them today how they would think it through.
Do not weigh all opinions equally. Seek people with a record of success at the thing, who can explain their reasoning, and who disagree.
Principles
Single Model
Ray Dalio
Not started
Look at my results as the output of a design I can change, not as a verdict on me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dalio asks the reader to think of themselves as a machine working inside a larger machine, and to know that they can alter both. The machine is made of a design, meaning the plan and the routines, and of people, including you. You compare the outcomes with your goals. When they do not match, the fault lies in the design or in the people. His key distinction is between you as the designer of your machine and you as a worker within it. Most people stay in the worker's seat and never look down on the whole. He adds that the designer has to be objective about the worker. If you are weak at something the machine needs, the right design gets it done some other way, and does not rely on you improving by willpower. Likely to trip me up: taking poor outcomes as a judgement of my worth, and not as information about the design. Note: Dalio writes from his own experience as an investor and founder, not from research. (Source: Principles, Life Principle 1.10.)
Work On It, Not In It (The E-Myth Revisited, Michael E. Gerber): the same step back, for a business. Leverage Points (Thinking in Systems, Donella Meadows): change the structure and the results change.
Systems & Strategy
Look at the Machine from the Higher Level
Part II, Life Principles, 1, Embrace Reality and Deal with It, principle 1.10. The chapter starts on p. 132 (Simon & Schuster, 2017, from the book's contents pages).
Be more productive / organised; Journal / self-reflect; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 24; 17
Plan: Once a month I will review one area of my life from above. I will compare the outcomes with my goal and ask if the fault is in the design or in the person doing the work. I will write one change to the design.
machine, designer, worker, higher level, system, outcomes, goals, objectivity, routines, redesign, weaknesses, delegation, review, self-management, perspective, results, process, detachment, structure, life design
When results are poor you push yourself harder inside the same routine. It does not occur to you that the routine itself is what is broken.
Pick one area where results disappoint you. Draw the 'machine' that produces them: the steps, the people, the timing. Mark one part to redesign.
See your life as a machine that produces outcomes. You are its designer and one of its workers. Poor outcomes mean redesign the machine.
Measure What Matters
Single Model
John Doerr
Not started
Close each goal cycle properly before I open the next.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Doerr says goals that are written down and never looked at again are close to useless. His third claim for the system is tracking. During a cycle you check in often, and at each check-in a goal gets one of four decisions: continue, update, start a new one, or stop. Dropping a goal that no longer makes sense is allowed, so long as you say so openly. At the end of the cycle there is a wrap-up in three parts. Score each key result, which at Google is done on a scale from 0 to 1. Make a self-assessment, since the number alone can mislead: a low score may hide great effort against bad luck, and a high score may come from a goal that was set too low. Then reflect on what helped, what got in the way, and what you would change. Only after that do you set the next goals. Likely to trip me up: I like setting goals and tend to skip the ending. Note: Doerr promotes this system, and his evidence is success stories. (Source: Measure What Matters, Ch. 10.)
The Weekly Review (Getting Things Done, David Allen): the regular check-in. Pain + Reflection = Progress (Principles, Ray Dalio): reflection is what turns results into lessons.
Habits & Behavior Change
Score, Assess, Reflect
Part One, Ch. 10, Superpower #3: Track for Accountability. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2018).
Journal / self-reflect; Be more productive / organised
24; 13
Plan: I will check my goals weekly and mark each as continue, update, start or stop. At the end of the quarter I will score each key result from 0 to 1, write one line on why, and answer two reflection questions before setting new goals.
tracking, scoring, check-in, reflection, review, accountability, quarter end, self-assessment, continue or stop, goals, okr, wrap-up, progress, lessons, cadence, weekly, grading, retrospective, honesty, next cycle
You set goals in January and find the list again in November. Nothing was checked, scored or learned, so next year's list will look the same.
Take your last set of goals. Score each from 0 to 1. Write one line on why you got that score, and one thing you would now do differently.
Goals need a rhythm: check in often, and at the end score each key result, judge the score honestly, and reflect before setting new ones.
Measure What Matters
Single Model
John Doerr
Not started
Aim high on a few goals without treating a partial result as a failure.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Doerr describes how Google separates two kinds of goals. Committed goals are tied to things that must happen, such as a release or a hiring target, and are expected to be met in full. Aspirational goals are deliberately set beyond what the team knows how to reach. For these, Google expects to achieve about 70 percent on average, and treats that as a good result. The reasoning is that an ambitious goal, even when missed, tends to get people further than a safe goal that is met. It matters to say in advance which kind a goal is. Otherwise people play safe in order to protect their score, or treat an essential goal as optional. He adds that a stretch goal still has to be believable, or people simply give up on it. Likely to trip me up: my perfectionism reads anything under 100 percent as failure, so I set small goals. Note: Doerr's evidence is success stories. Research on stretch goals is mixed, and critics warn that very aggressive targets can encourage people to cut corners. (Source: Measure What Matters, Ch. 12.)
The Flow Channel (Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi): challenge set just beyond your skill. Goodhart's Law (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): a target pushed too hard gets gamed.
Productivity & Focus
Stretch Goals: 70 Percent Is Success
Part One, Ch. 12, Superpower #4: Stretch for Amazing. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2018).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill; Exercise / move daily
27; 17; 01
Plan: I will label every goal as committed or stretch. Committed goals I expect to hit in full. For the single stretch goal I will decide in advance that 70 percent is a success, and I will score it at the end without beating myself up.
stretch goals, aspirational, committed, 70 percent, ambition, perfectionism, playing safe, moonshot, scoring, failure, partial success, goal types, okr, big goals, risk, fear of failure, targets, growth, expectations, effort
You set only goals you are sure to hit, since missing one would feel like failure. You hit them all, and you never find out what you could do.
Label each current goal 'must hit' or 'stretch'. Make one of them a true stretch, and write beside it: '70 percent of this would be a win.'
Separate goals you must hit from stretch goals you aim high on. For a stretch goal, reaching 70 percent is a good result, not a failure.
High Output Management
Single Model
Andrew S. Grove
Not started
Stop my tracked numbers from pushing me into the opposite mistake.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Grove says indicators are the windows into a process, and that a manager needs a small set to look at every day. He warns that any indicator pulls your attention towards the thing it measures, and that people then overreact. If you start to watch stock levels closely, you will run them down until you get shortages. His answer is to pair indicators, so that the effect and its counter-effect are measured together. Stock levels are paired with the number of shortages. The quantity of work done is paired with a measure of its quality. He gives the example of office cleaning, where the area cleaned per person is paired with a rating of how clean the building is. He adds that an indicator should measure output and not activity, and should be a physical thing that can be counted. Likely to trip me up: one number is simpler to watch than two. Note: Grove writes from his experience running Intel. The practice answers the problem that economists call Goodhart's law. (Source: High Output Management, Ch. 2.)
Goodhart's Law (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): the problem that pairing is meant to solve. Vanity Metrics (The Lean Startup, Eric Ries): choosing numbers that inform action.
Systems & Strategy
Pair Your Indicators
Part I, Ch. 2, Managing the Breakfast Factory. Starts on p. 15 in a scan of the book's contents pages. The edition is not confirmed, so treat the page as unverified (first published by Random House, 1983).
Be more productive / organised; Lose weight; Exercise / move daily
13; 08; 01
Plan: For each number I track I will write its likely side effect and add a second number that would show it. Weight will be paired with strength or energy. Output will be paired with error rate. I will review the pairs together.
indicators, paired metrics, counter-measure, side effects, quality and quantity, tracking, overreaction, dashboard, weight, strength, speed, errors, output, measurement, balance, kpi, monitoring, trade-off, numbers, guardrail
You track one number and drive it hard: weight down, output up, spending down. Something you were not watching quietly gets worse.
Take the number you watch most. Ask what could get worse if you pushed it too far. Start tracking that second number beside it from today.
What you measure, you will push too far. Pair each indicator with one that shows its side effect: speed with errors, output with quality.
High Output Management
Single Model
Andrew S. Grove
Not started
Match how much direction I give, and how much I ask for, to experience with the specific task.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Grove argues that there is no single best style of management. The right style depends on what he calls the task-relevant maturity of the person: their experience, training and readiness for this particular task. When it is low, the effective style is structured and precise, spelling out what to do, when and how. When it is medium, the style shifts to two-way discussion and support. When it is high, the manager's part shrinks to agreeing objectives and keeping an eye on progress. The point he stresses is that maturity belongs to the task, not to the person. A highly capable person who moves into a new kind of job drops back to low, and needs structure again for a time. He notes that close supervision is a matter of fit and is not an insult, and that the same reasoning applies to raising children. Likely to trip me up: I tend to manage everyone in the way I myself like to be managed. Note: Grove writes from his experience at Intel. The idea is close to a well-known leadership model whose research support is mixed. (Source: High Output Management, Ch. 12.)
Make Strength Productive (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): fit the job to the person. The Four Tendencies (Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin): people also differ in how they respond to being told.
People & Communication
Task-Relevant Maturity
Part IV, Ch. 12, Task-Relevant Maturity. Starts on p. 172 in a scan of the book's contents pages. The edition is not confirmed, so treat the page as unverified (first published by Random House, 1983).
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 17
Plan: Before I hand over any task, or take one on, I will rate experience with that exact task as low, medium or high, and set the amount of structure and the frequency of check-ins to match.
task relevant maturity, supervision, delegation, micromanagement, experience, new task, structure, autonomy, management style, parenting, teaching, onboarding, check-ins, support, monitoring, trust, senior, beginner, fit, handover
You leave a capable person alone with a task they have never done, and it goes wrong. Or you hover over an expert, and they resent it.
Before you hand over your next task, ask: how many times has this person done exactly this? Set your check-ins by that answer alone.
How closely to supervise depends on experience with this exact task, not on seniority. New to it: give structure. Skilled at it: step back.
High Output Management
Single Model
Andrew S. Grove
Not started
Find my mistakes at the outline stage, where they are cheap, and not at the finished stage, where they are dear.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Grove explains production through a small restaurant serving breakfast. As material moves through any process it gains value, since more work has been put into it. A raw egg is worth less than a boiled egg, which is worth less than a breakfast on the customer's table. His rule is to detect and fix any problem at the lowest-value stage possible. Reject the bad egg when it is delivered, not after it has been cooked and served and sent back. He applies the same rule to hiring, where a short early screen costs far less than finding out a poor fit at the end of a long and costly process. He also sets out a range of checks, from inspecting everything to sampling, and suggests checking more when things are going wrong and less when they are going well. Likely to trip me up: showing unfinished work is uncomfortable, so I put off the check until late, when it is most expensive. Note: Grove ran Intel, and the book rests on his experience, not on research. The principle is standard in quality management. (Source: High Output Management, Ch. 1.)
Validated Learning (The Lean Startup, Eric Ries): test the assumption before you build on it. Small Batches (The Lean Startup, Eric Ries): work one at a time and faults surface early.
Systems & Strategy
Fix It at the Lowest-Value Stage
Part I, Ch. 1, The Basics of Production. Starts on p. 3 in a scan of the book's contents pages. The edition is not confirmed, so treat the page as unverified (first published by Random House, 1983).
Be more productive / organised; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 27; 17
Plan: For each kind of work I produce, I will add one check at the earliest stage, such as showing a one-paragraph outline to one person before I write anything. I will log how much rework it saves over a month.
early detection, lowest value stage, quality, inspection, rework, outline, draft, feedback, cost of errors, process, screening, hiring, review, checkpoints, prevention, mistakes, production, stages, catch early, sampling
You discover the flaw at the very end, after days of work are stacked on top of it. Fixing it now means redoing everything that came after.
For your current piece of work, name the earliest point at which a mistake could be caught. Put one check there today: an outline review, a test, a question.
Catch a problem at the earliest, cheapest stage, before more work is added on top. A rejected egg costs less than a returned breakfast.
High Output Management
Single Model
Andrew S. Grove
Not started
Spend my best hours on the activities that multiply other people's output, or my own future output.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Grove defines a manager's output as the output of their own organisation plus the output of the neighbouring organisations they influence. It follows that an hour of the manager's time is worth whatever it does to everyone else's hours. He calls this leverage. An activity has high leverage when it affects many people, when it affects one person's work for a long time, or when it supplies a piece of knowledge that a whole group needs. Training and a clear early decision are examples. He also describes negative leverage: turning up unprepared to a meeting and wasting everyone's time, putting off a decision that others are waiting for, or meddling in work that someone else can do perfectly well. He warns that delegating a task and never checking on it is abdication. Likely to trip me up: low-leverage tasks are concrete and satisfying, and high-leverage ones are vague and easy to put off. Note: Grove writes from his experience running Intel, not from research. (Source: High Output Management, Ch. 3.)
Leverage (The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, Eric Jorgenson): the same word applied to code, media and capital. What Can I Contribute? (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): judge your work by its results for other people.
Productivity & Focus
Managerial Leverage
Part II, Ch. 3, Managerial Leverage. Starts on p. 39 in a scan of the book's contents pages. The edition is not confirmed, so treat the page as unverified (first published by Random House, 1983).
Be more productive / organised; Limit multitasking / context-switching; Be more punctual / manage time
13; 28; 23
Plan: For one week I will rate each activity as high, neutral or negative leverage. The following week I will move two hours from low to high, for example by writing a guide once where I now explain the same thing each time.
leverage, output, influence, high leverage activities, delegation, training, decisions, meetings, time use, multiplier, team, negative leverage, preparation, documentation, teaching, priorities, manager, impact, hours, abdication
You answer the same question for the tenth time and do the task yourself because it is quicker. You are busy all day, and nobody around you gets faster.
List what you did yesterday. Mark each item: did it help only me, once, or did it help many people or for a long time? Do one more of the second kind today.
Your output is the output of everyone you influence. Pick the activities where one hour of yours improves many hours of other people's.
Measure What Matters
Single Model
John Doerr
Not started
Turn my vague goals into ones that can be checked.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Doerr learned the system at Intel from Andy Grove, and later taught it to Google's founders. An objective is what you want to achieve. It should be significant, concrete and oriented to action. Key results are how you will know you are getting there. They are specific, tied to a date, and measurable, so that at the end of the period there is no arguing about it: you did it or you did not. Grove's test was that a key result has to be verifiable. The pairing matters. An objective alone is a wish, and a list of measures with no objective has no meaning. Doerr adds that goals should be written down and visible to the people you work with. Likely to trip me up: writing key results that are activities, such as 'work on it', and not results. Note: Doerr is a venture capitalist who has promoted this system for decades, and the book is built on success stories from companies he backed. Research does support specific, challenging goals over vague ones. (Source: Measure What Matters, Ch. 1 and Ch. 2.)
Commander's Intent (Made to Stick, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): the objective, stated plainly. Keep Score (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): a goal you cannot check teaches you nothing.
Productivity & Focus
Objectives and Key Results
Part One, Ch. 1, Google, Meet OKRs, and Ch. 2, The Father of OKRs. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2018).
Be more productive / organised; Exercise / move daily; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 01; 17
Plan: For this quarter I will write one objective in plain words, and three key results under it, each with a number and a date. At the end of the quarter, each key result must be answerable with yes or no.
okr, objectives, key results, goals, measurable, deadline, numbers, quarter, goal setting, specific, verifiable, progress, planning, yes or no, vague goals, targets, focus, written goals, results, tracking
Your goal is 'get fitter' or 'grow the channel'. Three months on, you cannot say if you did. With nothing to check, nothing told you to change course.
Write one objective for the next three months. Under it write three key results, each with a number and a date. If it cannot be checked, rewrite it.
An objective is what you want to achieve. Key results are how you will know: measurable and dated. No number means it is not a key result.
Measure What Matters
Single Model
John Doerr
Not started
Give feedback and thanks in small, regular doses.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Doerr argues that a yearly performance review comes too late and carries too much weight to help anyone improve. He proposes three continuous practices in its place. Conversations: regular one-to-one talks between a manager and each person, with the agenda set by that person, covering goals, progress, growth and what the manager could do differently. Feedback: specific and timely, moving in every direction, upwards and between colleagues included. Recognition: appreciation tied to real contributions, given often and by peers as well as by managers. He also advises keeping these talks separate from pay decisions, since people stop being candid about their goals and their struggles once money is riding on it. The same three practices work at home as well as at work. Likely to trip me up: saving everything up, and then delivering it all at once in a tense moment. Note: Doerr's evidence is company stories. Research does support frequent, specific feedback over rare, general reviews. (Source: Measure What Matters, Ch. 15.)
Strokes (Games People Play, Eric Berne): recognition is a basic need. The Artful Critique (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): how to make feedback specific and usable.
People & Communication
Conversations, Feedback, Recognition
Part Two, Ch. 15, Continuous Performance Management: OKRs and CFRs. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2018).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Be more productive / organised
25; 14; 13
Plan: I will hold a short, regular one-to-one with each person I work closely with, and ask what is going well, what is getting in their way, and what they need from me. I will give one specific piece of recognition a week.
feedback, recognition, conversations, one to one, annual review, appreciation, continuous, manager, team, praise, candour, check-in, growth, performance, thanks, coaching, relationships, specific, timely, two-way
You save up your feedback and your thanks for one big occasion. When it comes, it is too late to change anything, and too stale to mean anything.
Tell one person today one specific thing they did well this week, and ask them one question: 'What could I do differently that would help you?'
Replace the yearly review with three ongoing habits: regular one-to-one conversations, feedback both ways, and recognition for real work.
Principles
Single Model
Ray Dalio
Not started
Work through a goal one step at a time, and get help with the step I am worst at.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dalio sets out five steps. Have clear goals. Identify the problems that stand in the way, and do not tolerate them. Diagnose the problems to reach their root causes. Design a plan that gets around them. Then push through to completion. He insists that the steps be done one at a time and in order. When you are setting goals, only set goals. When you are diagnosing, do not leap ahead to solutions. Blurring the steps gives worse answers at each one. He adds that the steps call on different abilities and almost nobody is good at all five, so the sensible move is to know your weakest step and lean on other people for it. The process then repeats as a loop. Likely to trip me up: jumping from the problem straight to a fix and skipping the diagnosis. Note: Dalio writes from his own experience, not from research. The structure is close to standard problem-solving methods used in engineering and management. (Source: Principles, Life Principle 2.)
The Five Focusing Steps (The Goal, Eliyahu M. Goldratt and Jeff Cox): another five-step loop for improving a system. Five Whys (The Lean Startup, Eric Ries): a tool for the diagnosis step.
Systems & Strategy
The 5-Step Process
Part II, Life Principles, 2, Use the 5-Step Process to Get What You Want Out of Life. Starts on p. 168 (Simon & Schuster, 2017, from the book's contents pages).
Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill; Beat procrastination / focus
13; 17; 07
Plan: For one goal I will keep a single page with five headings and fill them in order. I will not write a plan until the diagnosis is done. I will rate myself on each step and ask someone stronger to help with my weakest.
five step process, goals, problems, diagnosis, root cause, design, plan, execution, follow through, loop, weaknesses, problem solving, sequence, method, review, completion, discipline, steps, improvement, help
You spot a problem and start fixing it at once, with no diagnosis. Or you set goals and never look at what blocks them. One step is always skipped.
Take one goal. Write five headings: goal, problems, root causes, plan, doing. Fill in only the first three today. Notice which one is hardest for you.
Set goals. Identify problems. Diagnose root causes. Design a plan. Push through. Do the steps one at a time and do not blur them together.
The E-Myth Revisited
Single Model
Michael E. Gerber
Not started
Decide what life I want first, and only then what my work has to deliver to support it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gerber opens his development programme with a question about life, before anything about the business. He calls it your primary aim: what do I want my life to look like? How do I want it to be from day to day? What would I like to be able to say I truly know? How much money will I need to live the way I wish? He asks the reader to imagine their own funeral and to write the account of their life they would want to hear read out. His reasoning is that great people build their lives on purpose, while most are carried along by whatever happens. A business designed with no primary aim behind it tends to swallow the life it was supposed to serve. Once the aim is written down, the business can be sized to fit it, and his next chapter does exactly that. Likely to trip me up: it is easier to plan the business than to answer what I want. Note: Gerber is a consultant writing a parable. This is reflection, not research. (Source: The E-Myth Revisited, Ch. 12.)
What's Your Sentence? (Drive, Daniel H. Pink): a life summed up in one line. Three Ways to Find Meaning (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): where a primary aim can come from.
Mindset & Emotions
Your Primary Aim
Part III, Ch. 12, Your Primary Aim. Page not verified (HarperBusiness, 1995).
Improve mental health / be happier; Be more productive / organised; Spend time with family/friends
04; 13; 14
Plan: I will write one page on what I want an ordinary day to look like five years from now: who I am with, where I am, and how I spend my hours. I will then list what my work would need to provide for that, and compare it with my present plan.
primary aim, life design, purpose, vision, funeral exercise, eulogy, priorities, work-life, meaning, goals, freedom, enough, money needed, day to day, intention, direction, values, business serves life, reflection, five years
You plan the project, the income and the growth. You never ask what kind of days you want to live, so the plan quietly takes over your life.
Write half a page: on an ordinary Tuesday five years from now, where am I, who is with me, and how do I spend the hours?
Decide what you want your life to look like before you design the business. The business exists to serve your life. It is not your life.
The E-Myth Revisited
Single Model
Michael E. Gerber
Not started
Find out what running the thing demands, beyond the craft I already have.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gerber says most small businesses are not started by entrepreneurs. They are started by technicians, people who are good at a craft, in a moment he calls an entrepreneurial seizure, when they decide to stop working for someone else. They make what he calls the fatal assumption: that if you understand the technical work of a business, you understand a business that does that technical work. The two are different. The baker who opens a bakery finds that baking has become a small part of the job, next to marketing, money, hiring and administration. The work she loved becomes a chore among a dozen others that she never learned. Likely to trip me up: skill at the craft gives me a confidence that spreads, wrongly, to everything around it. Note: Gerber is a small-business consultant who sells coaching, and the book is told as a parable about one client. The failure rates he quotes are higher than official United States figures show. (Source: The E-Myth Revisited, Ch. 1.)
Circle of Competence (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charlie Munger): skill in one circle does not carry over to the next. Career Capital (So Good They Can't Ignore You, Cal Newport): you need rare skills for the role you are moving into.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Fatal Assumption
Part I, Ch. 1, The Entrepreneurial Myth. Page not verified (HarperBusiness, 1995).
Learn a skill / upskill; Build emergency fund / invest; Be more productive / organised
17; 20; 13
Plan: Before I commit to any venture I will list every function it needs apart from the craft: finding customers, selling, money, delivery, admin. I will rate myself on each, and talk to two people who already run something similar.
fatal assumption, technician, craft, business, self-employment, freelancer, starting out, entrepreneur, skills gap, marketing, admin, quitting job, side business, competence, overconfidence, owner, bakery, channel, venture, reality check
You are good at the craft, so you start the business. Within a year you are buried in invoices, marketing and admin, and doing the craft badly and late.
List every job your venture needs done besides the craft itself. Mark the ones you have never done. That list is the real work of the first year.
Knowing how to do the technical work is not knowing how to run a business that does that work. They are two separate skills.
The E-Myth Revisited
Single Model
Michael E. Gerber
Not started
Give the planner and the dreamer in me fixed time, so the doer does not take all of it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Gerber says everyone who goes into business is really three people in one. The Entrepreneur is the visionary who lives in the future and thrives on change. The Manager is the pragmatist who lives in the past, wants order, and builds the systems. The Technician is the doer who lives in the present, distrusts ideas, and wants to be left alone to get on with the work. Each of them wants to be in charge, and none of them wants a boss. He estimates that a typical small-business owner is about one part Entrepreneur, two parts Manager and seven parts Technician. The result is a business where the work gets done, nobody is steering, and there is little order. The aim is balance, with each of the three given room to do their part. Likely to trip me up: doing the work feels productive, and planning feels like avoiding it. Note: Gerber is a consultant, and these proportions are his own impression, not a measurement. Treat it as a useful picture and nothing more. (Source: The E-Myth Revisited, Ch. 2.)
Parent, Adult, Child (Games People Play, Eric Berne): another three-part picture of who is in charge. Busy Is Not Productive (The Goal, Eliyahu M. Goldratt and Jeff Cox): what happens when the Technician runs everything.
Systems & Strategy
The Entrepreneur, the Manager and the Technician
Part I, Ch. 2, The Entrepreneur, the Manager, and the Technician. Page not verified (HarperBusiness, 1995).
Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 17
Plan: I will block one hour a week for direction and one hour for systems and numbers. All other work time belongs to the doer. I will check monthly that those two blocks really happened.
entrepreneur, manager, technician, roles, vision, order, doing, balance, small business, owner, planning, systems, inner conflict, founder, solo, time allocation, strategy, operations, craft, three hats
You spend every hour doing the work. Nobody in your one-person operation is planning next year or putting things in order, so nothing improves.
Look at last week's hours. Estimate the split between dreaming, organising and doing. Block one hour this week for the one that got least.
Anyone who starts something is three people: the Entrepreneur who dreams, the Manager who orders, the Technician who does. They fight.
Principles
Single Model
Ray Dalio
Not started
Put finding out what is true ahead of being right.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dalio names two barriers to good decisions. The first is ego: the need to be right and to look capable, which makes us defend a position when we should be testing it. He describes this as the emotional part of the brain fighting the reasoning part. The second is blind spots: each person's mind works in its own way, so there are things each of us cannot see, in the way a colour-blind person cannot see a colour. We do not know what we are missing. His remedy for both is the same. Replace the attachment to being right with the pleasure of learning what is true, and go looking for people who see what you cannot. He calls this being radically open-minded. He marks it off from giving way: you can hold your view firmly and still explore, sincerely, how you might be wrong. Likely to trip me up: my ego answers before my reasoning has had a turn. Note: Dalio writes from his own experience. His brain language is a loose simplification. (Source: Principles, Life Principle 3.1.)
The Curse of Knowledge (Made to Stick, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): another thing you cannot see from the inside. Hold Your Identity Lightly (The Scout Mindset, Julia Galef): the less you need to be right, the more you see.
Biases & Blind Spots
Your Two Barriers: Ego and Blind Spots
Part II, Life Principles, 3, Be Radically Open-Minded, principle 3.1. The chapter starts on p. 182 (Simon & Schuster, 2017, from the book's contents pages).
Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
17; 25
Plan: In disagreements I will ask questions until I can state the other person's reasoning to their satisfaction. Each month I will ask one person who knows me well what I do not see about myself.
ego, blind spots, open-minded, being right, defensiveness, feedback, truth, disagreement, humility, self-awareness, learning, perspective, arguments, certainty, criticism, advice, curiosity, mistakes, reasoning, others
Someone points out a flaw in your plan. You feel attacked and start to defend it. You never find out if they were right.
In your next disagreement, swap 'I am right' for 'how do I know I am right?' Ask the other person to walk you through their reasoning.
Two things stop you seeing clearly: an ego that needs to be right, and blind spots you cannot see by definition. Other people fix both.
The Lean Startup
Single Model
Eric Ries
Not started
Decide on a schedule, with evidence, to continue or change course, so I neither quit early nor drift for years.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ries says the hardest question a founder faces is when to change direction and when to stay the course. He defines a pivot as a structured change of course, made in order to test a new basic assumption, while keeping what has been learned so far. It is not the same as giving up, and it is not the same as trying something at random. His practical advice is to hold a pivot-or-persevere meeting at a regular interval, set in advance, and to bring real measurements to it. He notes that a company's remaining life is best counted as the number of pivots it still has time to make. He also observes that most founders who pivoted wish they had done it sooner. Vanity metrics and vague goals allow a project to stay in a state of being neither dead nor alive. Likely to trip me up: pride and sunk effort, and having no date on which the question gets asked. Note: Ries generalises from his own company and from case stories. (Source: The Lean Startup, Ch. 8.)
Learn to Drop Your Tools (Range, David Epstein): what got you here can hold you here. Local and Global Optimum (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): a change of direction means a dip first.
Decision-Making & Risk
Pivot or Persevere
Part Two, Ch. 8, Pivot (or Persevere). Starts on p. 149 (Crown Business, 2011, from the publisher's contents listing).
Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised
17; 27; 13
Plan: I will put a pivot-or-persevere review in my calendar every eight weeks. Before each one I will write what result would count as enough progress. At the review I will change at most one element of the plan.
pivot, persevere, quit, change direction, review, sunk cost, strategy, stubbornness, evidence, runway, course correction, side project, career, decision date, progress, persistence, drifting, test again, hypothesis, schedule
Your project is neither failing nor succeeding. You keep going out of habit, and years pass. Nobody ever scheduled the question 'should this change?'
Put a review date in your calendar six to eight weeks from now. Write today what result by then would mean 'continue' and what would mean 'change'.
Set a regular date to ask, with data: is this working well enough to continue, or should I change one part of the plan and test again?
High Output Management
Single Model
Andrew S. Grove
Not started
Work out if a stall is a skill problem or a motivation problem before I choose the fix.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Grove says that when a person is not doing a job there can be only two reasons: they are not capable of it, or they are not motivated to do it. He offers a simple test to tell which. If the person's life depended on doing the work, could they do it? If yes, the problem is motivation. If no, it is capability. The two call for different remedies. Capability is dealt with by training. Motivation cannot be installed from outside. All a manager can do is create conditions in which a motivated person can flourish, and Grove spends the rest of the chapter on what those conditions are, including clear measures to compete against. The question works just as well when turned on oneself. Likely to trip me up: I tend to treat every stall as a lack of willpower, and the test is blunt, since in practice both causes are often present. Note: Grove writes from his experience running Intel. His account of motivation leans on a theory of needs from the 1950s that has little research support. (Source: High Output Management, Ch. 11.)
Do Not Wait for Motivation (Mini Habits, Stephen Guise): one answer to 'won't'. Contribution, Not Blame (Difficult Conversations, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen): ask what in the system produced this.
People & Communication
Can't or Won't?
Part IV, Ch. 11, The Sports Analogy. Starts on p. 157 in a scan of the book's contents pages. The edition is not confirmed, so treat the page as unverified (first published by Random House, 1983).
Beat procrastination / focus; Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
07; 25; 17
Plan: For each task I keep avoiding, and for each person I am frustrated with, I will first write 'can't' or 'won't'. If it is 'can't', I will arrange training or help. If it is 'won't', I will look at the reasons and the conditions.
can't or won't, capability, motivation, training, performance, diagnosis, skills gap, willpower, procrastination, management, employees, children, stalled task, coaching, conditions, environment, test, delegation, excuses, ability
A task is not getting done, by someone else or by you. You push harder, or lecture. It turns out that nobody ever knew how to do it.
Pick one task you keep avoiding. Ask: if my life depended on it, could I do it today? If yes, it is a 'won't'. If no, find what you need to learn.
When someone is not doing a job there are two causes: they can't or they won't. Test: could they do it if their life depended on it?
The Lean Startup
Single Model
Eric Ries
Not started
Track numbers that tell me what to do next, not numbers that make me feel good.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ries describes showing his board charts of total customers and total revenue that went up and to the right every month, while the product itself was not getting better. He calls such figures vanity metrics. A running total can only go up, so it flatters you and tells you nothing about which of your actions caused what. He sets three tests for a useful metric. It should be actionable, showing clear cause and effect. It should be accessible, so that everyone can understand it. And it should be auditable, so that it can be checked against real cases. His main tool is to compare groups: look at how each new batch of customers behaves, and run split tests, so that a change can be tied to a result. Likely to trip me up: vanity metrics are the pleasant ones to look at. Note: Ries generalises from his own company, and the evidence is case-based. The measurement advice is standard practice in product work. (Source: The Lean Startup, Ch. 7.)
Goodhart's Law (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): a number that becomes a target stops measuring. Social Currency (Contagious, Jonah Berger): why flattering numbers are the ones that get shown.
Biases & Blind Spots
Vanity Metrics
Part Two, Ch. 7, Measure. Starts on p. 114 (Crown Business, 2011, from the publisher's contents listing).
Be more productive / organised; Stop comparing / social-media envy; Lose weight
13; 26; 08
Plan: I will list the numbers I check most often and mark each as vanity or actionable. For each vanity number I will find a replacement that compares like with like, such as results per attempt, and check only that for a month.
vanity metrics, actionable metrics, totals, views, subscribers, followers, cause and effect, cohorts, split test, tracking, dashboard, progress, numbers, growth, success theatre, measurement, analytics, weight, rate, per attempt
Your totals keep climbing, so you feel things are going well. You cannot say which of your actions caused any of it, so you cannot do more of it.
Take one number you watch. Ask: can it ever go down, and does it tell me what to do differently? If not, replace it with a rate or a comparison.
Vanity metrics always go up and feel good: total views, total sign-ups. Actionable metrics show cause and effect. Track those instead.
Supercommunicators
Single Model
Charles Duhigg
Not started
Read and meet the other person's mood and energy before I say what I came to say.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duhigg says we signal emotion mainly without words, and that the simplest way to read it is to notice two things: is the mood positive or negative, and is the energy high or low? He tells of a psychiatrist who screened astronaut candidates for NASA by watching whether they matched his own laughter and energy in the interview, which he took as a sign that they wanted to connect. He also tells how a television comedy about awkward scientists only worked once the characters were written to match each other's mood and energy, even while saying the wrong words. Matching shows the wish to connect, and that wish is what people respond to. Likely to trip me up: arriving with my own mood and delivering it regardless. Note: Duhigg is a journalist, and both of these are stories, not studies. Matching is not mimicry, and faking it tends to show. (Source: Supercommunicators, Ch. 4.)
Label the Emotion (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): say what you are picking up. The Emotional Hijack (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): high negative energy means the thinking brain is offline.
People & Communication
Match Mood and Energy
Ch. 4, How Do You Hear Emotions No One Says Aloud?: The Big Bang Theory. Page not verified (Random House, 2024).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: For two weeks, at the start of each conversation I will silently rate the other person's mood as up or down and their energy as high or low, and set my own first sentence to match.
mood, energy, matching, nonverbal, tone, laughter, empathy, reading people, emotional intelligence, connection, body language, attunement, rapport, voice, listening, calm, excitement, awkward, signals, presence
You bounce in cheerful when they are flat, or stay flat when they are excited. Your words are fine. They still feel you are not with them.
In your next conversation, notice two things before you speak: is their mood up or down, and is their energy high or low? Start there.
People show they want to connect by matching the other person's mood and energy. Notice theirs first, then meet it, even if words fail.
The Goal
Single Model
Eliyahu M. Goldratt and Jeff Cox
Not started
Find the one step that limits my output, and stop polishing the others.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: on the hike, the troop can move no faster than its slowest walker, a boy called Herbie. The gaps in the line keep growing until the manager changes two things. He puts Herbie at the front, so that nobody can run ahead and the line stays together. And he shares out the heavy load from Herbie's pack among the faster boys, so that Herbie himself walks faster. The whole troop speeds up. Back at the plant, Jonah defines a bottleneck as any resource whose capacity is equal to or less than the demand placed on it, and tells the manager to balance the flow of work through the plant, not the capacity of each machine. The place to look is wherever work piles up waiting. Likely to trip me up: the bottleneck is often the step I enjoy least, so I improve the pleasant ones. Note: a business novel. The theory of constraints is widely used in operations, and the evidence is mostly case studies. (Source: The Goal, Ch. 15 and Ch. 18.)
Leverage Points (Thinking in Systems, Donella Meadows): effort in the right place counts for far more. Scale and Limits (Seeking Wisdom, Peter Bevelin): a system performs only as well as its weakest link.
Systems & Strategy
Herbie: Find the Bottleneck
Ch. 15 (Herbie on the hike) and Ch. 18 (bottlenecks defined). The novel's chapters are numbered and untitled. Page not verified (North River Press, 2nd revised edition, 1992).
Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill; Exercise / move daily
13; 17; 01
Plan: For one project I will map the steps from start to finish and mark where work waits longest. That is my Herbie. For a month I will put my improvement effort only there, and measure finished output.
bottleneck, constraint, herbie, slowest step, flow, pile-up, waiting, throughput, weakest link, workflow, editing, pipeline, capacity, process, improvement, queue, limiting factor, system speed, lighten load, pace
You work hard at every stage of your process and output does not rise. One slow step is setting the pace, and you have never named it.
Pick one process you run. Find where work piles up waiting. That is your Herbie. Take one thing off its plate today.
A system moves at the speed of its slowest part. Find that part, lighten its load, and set the pace of everything else by it.
Supercommunicators
Single Model
Charles Duhigg
Not started
Keep hard conversations from collapsing into my side against yours.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duhigg says that in tense conversations people tend to shrink to a single identity, such as their party, faith or profession, and then hear everything as an attack on it. He draws three pieces of advice from the research he reviews. Remind everyone that they hold many identities, not one. Put people on an equal footing, so nobody speaks as the expert talking down. And build on an identity both sides share. His cases include doctors who got further with vaccine-hesitant parents by asking about their lives before giving advice, and a football league that mixed players from groups in conflict. Likely to trip me up: when I feel attacked I shrink to one identity too. Note: Duhigg is a journalist. Some of the laboratory research in this area, on how identity cues change performance, has a mixed record when repeated. The practical advice does not depend on it. (Source: Supercommunicators, Ch. 6.)
Hold Your Identity Lightly (The Scout Mindset, Julia Galef): the tighter the label, the harder it is to think. The And Stance (Difficult Conversations, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen): a person is more than one thing.
People & Communication
We All Hold Many Identities
Ch. 6, Our Social Identities Shape Our Worlds: Vaccinating the Anti-Vaxxers. Page not verified (Random House, 2024).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: Before a conversation across a divide, I will write down three identities I share with the other person. I will mention one early on, and I will ask about their experience before giving my view.
identity, us and them, tribes, politics, religion, shared identity, equal footing, polarisation, conflict, family arguments, belonging, labels, common ground, vaccines, groups, defensiveness, roles, respect, bridge, divides
A talk about politics, faith or parenting turns into my side against yours. Each of you stops being a person and becomes a representative.
Before a touchy conversation, list three identities you share with the other person: parent, neighbour, fan. Mention one early.
In tense talks people shrink to one identity: us or them. Remind everyone, yourself included, of the many roles each person holds.
Games People Play
Single Model
Eric Berne
Not started
Spot the moment a conversation crosses, and bring it back without joining the fight.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Berne analyses each exchange as a stimulus from one person's ego state to another's, followed by a response. When the reply comes from the state that was addressed and goes back to the state that spoke, he calls the transaction complementary, and his first rule is that communication can then continue without limit. His second rule is that communication breaks off when a transaction is crossed. His example is a husband who asks, Adult to Adult, if his wife knows where his cuff links are, and is told that he always blames her for everything, which is a Child speaking to a Parent. The subject has changed from cuff links to the relationship, and nothing more can be said about cuff links until that is settled. Likely to trip me up: a crossed reply invites me to cross back, by defending or scolding. Note: a clinician's model from the 1960s. It is a useful vocabulary with limited research behind it, and the book's examples are of their time. (Source: Games People Play, Ch. 2.)
The Matching Principle (Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg): a newer account of the same mismatch. Silence or Violence (Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and co-authors): a crossed reply is a sign that safety has gone.
People & Communication
Crossed Transactions
Part I, Ch. 2, Transactional Analysis. Page not verified (first published by Grove Press, 1964).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: When a simple question gets a heated answer, I will not defend the question. I will answer the feeling briefly and then ask the question again calmly. I will log what happens each time for a month.
crossed transaction, communication breakdown, misunderstanding, defensiveness, tone, simple question, overreaction, couples, blame, ego states, complementary, argument, reply, escalation, partner, colleague, feelings, redirect, calm, stimulus
You ask a plain question, 'Where are the keys?', and get 'Why do you always blame me?' You are now arguing, and you still have no keys.
Next time a simple question gets a hot reply, do not defend the question. Name the feeling you heard in one sentence, then ask again calmly.
Talk flows while replies come from the state that was addressed. It breaks when an Adult question gets a Child or Parent reply.
Games People Play
Single Model
Eric Berne
Not started
Notice which part of me is speaking before I send the message.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Berne observed that people shift between three consistent patterns of feeling and behaviour, which he called ego states. The Parent is a set of attitudes copied from the people who raised us: rules, judgements and ways of caring. The Adult works out what is going on in the present and weighs it up objectively. The Child carries the feelings and reactions we had when small, including fear and sulking, and also play, intuition and creativity. He insists that all three have value. He calls the Child in many ways the most valuable part of the personality, and says the Parent saves a great deal of energy by making routine decisions automatic. The skill lies in knowing which one is in charge at a given moment. Likely to trip me up: under stress the switch happens before I notice it. Note: Berne was a psychiatrist writing from clinical observation in the 1960s. The three states are a vocabulary, not a finding about the brain. (Source: Games People Play, Ch. 1.)
System 1 and System 2 (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): another map of who is in charge at a given moment. The Emotional Hijack (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): when the oldest reactions take the controls.
People & Communication
Parent, Adult, Child
Part I, Ch. 1, Structural Analysis. Page not verified (first published by Grove Press, 1964).
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 12
Plan: For two weeks, before I reply to anything that irritates me, I will label my draft as Parent, Adult or Child. If it is not Adult, I will rewrite it once before sending.
ego states, parent, adult, child, transactional analysis, tone, reactions, scolding, sulking, self-awareness, inner voices, conflict, stress, replies, email, criticism, objectivity, play, upbringing, communication
You hear yourself scolding exactly like your father, or sulking like a ten-year-old, in the middle of a work conversation. It happened by itself.
In one tense exchange today, ask yourself: which of the three is speaking in me right now? If it is not the Adult, pause before you reply.
You speak from one of three states: Parent (copied rules), Adult (here-and-now reasoning) or Child (old feelings). Notice which is talking.
Games People Play
Single Model
Eric Berne
Not started
See recognition as a real need, and get it from good sources before I go looking in bad ones.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Berne begins with studies of infants who were fed and kept clean but seldom handled, and who failed to thrive. He argues that adults keep the same need in another form, which he calls recognition hunger. He uses the word 'stroke' for any act that acknowledges another person's presence, from a nod to a long conversation, and treats it as the basic unit of social life. An exchange of strokes is a transaction. He states that any social contact at all has a biological advantage over none. That helps to explain why people will provoke a quarrel, or go looking for criticism, in preference to being ignored. Likely to trip me up: a like or a notification is a very small stroke that is always on offer, so it is easy to fill up on those. Note: Berne was a psychiatrist writing in the 1960s from clinical observation. Transactional analysis is a useful vocabulary with limited research behind it as a theory, and some of the book's language is dated. (Source: Games People Play, Introduction.)
Social Investment (The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor): relationships are the best predictor of wellbeing. Social Currency (Contagious, Jonah Berger): why online recognition is handed out the way it is.
People & Communication
Strokes
Introduction. Page not verified (first published by Grove Press, 1964).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop comparing / social-media envy
14; 04; 26
Plan: For two weeks I will give three sincere acknowledgements a day, by name and in person where I can. I will note my mood, and how often I reach for the phone for a quick dose of attention.
strokes, recognition, attention, acknowledgement, loneliness, belonging, validation, likes, notifications, negative attention, praise, greeting, being ignored, connection, need, appreciation, contact, quarrels, approval, noticed
You pick fights, fish for compliments or refresh your notifications. You are not after the thing itself. You are hungry to be noticed.
Give three real strokes today: greet someone by name, thank someone for a specific thing, tell someone what you noticed they did well.
People need recognition the way they need food. A stroke is any act that acknowledges you. Starved of good strokes, we settle for bad ones.
Games People Play
Single Model
Eric Berne
Not started
Stop feeding the 'yes, but' loop, in other people and in myself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Berne describes a pattern he saw constantly in groups. One person presents a problem. The others offer solutions, each beginning 'why don't you'. Every one is met with 'yes, but' and a reason it will not work, until the helpers fall silent. Berne's point is that the problem was never offered in order to be solved. The payoff for the player is the silence at the end, which proves that nobody can tell them what to do. On the surface it looks like an Adult asking for information. Underneath, it is a Child showing a roomful of Parents that they are no use. His counter-move is to decline to give advice and to reply that it sounds like a hard problem, and to ask what the person is going to do about it. Likely to trip me up: giving advice feels generous, and I play 'yes, but' myself more often than I would like to admit. Note: a clinician's observation from the 1960s, not tested research, though it is widely recognised in counselling. (Source: Games People Play, Ch. 8.)
The Matching Principle (Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg): they may want to be heard, not helped. Master My Stories (Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and co-authors): 'there is nothing I can do' is the helpless story.
People & Communication
Why Don't You, Yes But
Part II, Ch. 8, Party Games, 'Why Don't You—Yes But'. Page not verified (first published by Grove Press, 1964).
Improve relationships / communicate; Stop overthinking / rumination
25; 15
Plan: When I hear the second 'yes, but', I will stop suggesting and ask what the person plans to do. I will also listen for my own 'yes, but' when others advise me, and count how often I say it in a week.
yes but, advice, complaining, helplessness, games, suggestions, rejecting help, venting, problem, payoff, frustration, friends, support, coaching, excuses, stuck, conversation pattern, responsibility, what will you do, rescuer
A friend describes the same problem again. You offer five sensible ideas and each gets 'yes, but'. You end up drained, and they end up proved right.
At the second 'yes, but', stop advising. Say: 'That does sound hard. What are you thinking of doing about it?' Then listen.
Someone states a problem, then rejects every suggestion with 'yes, but'. The payoff is not a solution. It is proving nobody can help.
Contagious
Single Model
Jonah Berger
Not started
Notice when I am being fired up, and wait before I share, reply or buy.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Berger and a colleague analysed thousands of newspaper articles to see which ones readers emailed to others. Whether a piece was positive or negative mattered less than how activating the emotion was. Articles that produced awe, anger, anxiety or amusement were shared far more. Articles that produced sadness or contentment were shared less. He explains this by physical arousal: some feelings ready the body for action. In one of his experiments, people who had just jogged on the spot were much more likely to share an unrelated article than people who had been sitting still. The plain consequence is that whatever spreads online has been selected for its power to agitate. Likely to trip me up: arousal feels like importance, so the urge to react presents itself as a duty. Note: the newspaper analysis is Berger's own peer-reviewed research. The wider framework is his synthesis. (Source: Contagious, Ch. 3.)
The Emotional Hijack (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): arousal acts before thought. Noise and Signal (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): most of what reaches you in a day is noise.
Mindset & Emotions
High-Arousal Emotions
Ch. 3, Emotion. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2013).
Cut phone / social-media use; Manage stress / anxiety; Stop overthinking / rumination
06; 12; 15
Plan: For two weeks I will apply a ten-minute rule. If a post, message or headline raises my pulse, I will do nothing with it for ten minutes. I will keep a tally of how often I still want to act afterwards.
arousal, outrage, anger, anxiety, awe, sharing, viral, doomscrolling, news, reaction, social media, impulse, pause, agitation, clickbait, feed, emotions, calm, pulse, ten minute rule
You put the phone down angrier and more anxious than when you picked it up. You shared and replied while fired up, and regretted it later.
When a post or message makes your pulse rise, do nothing with it for ten minutes. Notice how much of the urge to react has gone.
Emotions that fire you up, such as awe, anger and anxiety, make people share and act. Calm and sadness do not. Feeds are tuned to arousal.
The Goal
Single Model
Eliyahu M. Goldratt and Jeff Cox
Not started
Stop planning my days as if every step will take its average time.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the manager takes a scout troop on a hike and watches the line stretch out. Each boy's speed varies from moment to moment, and each can walk only as fast as the boy in front. A slow moment passes down the whole line. A fast moment is wasted, since nobody can overtake. At lunch he models this with bowls, matches and a die. Each boy rolls, and may pass on only the matches he has actually received. The average roll is three and a half, yet the line delivers far less than that, and matches pile up between the bowls. His conclusion is that a chain of dependent steps, each with ordinary variation, runs slower than the average of its parts, since delays accumulate and gains do not. Likely to trip me up: I plan every step at its average time and leave no slack. Note: a business novel, but the mathematics is standard, and the game can be played at a kitchen table. (Source: The Goal, Ch. 13 and Ch. 14.)
Every Step Must Work (Seeking Wisdom, Peter Bevelin): chains are weaker than their links feel. The Planning Fallacy (take the Outside View) (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): plans assume that everything goes to average.
Systems & Strategy
Delays Add Up, Gains Do Not
Ch. 13 (the hike) and Ch. 14 (the dice and matches game). The novel's chapters are numbered and untitled. Page not verified (North River Press, 2nd revised edition, 1992).
Be more punctual / manage time; Be more productive / organised
23; 13
Plan: I will stop booking things back to back. For two weeks I will put a buffer after the first and the longest item in any chain, and record how often I arrive on time compared with the two weeks before.
delays, dependent events, variation, schedule, back to back, lateness, buffer, chain, queue, fluctuations, planning, hike, dice game, slack, appointments, knock-on, average, punctuality, project plan, accumulation
Your day is a row of back-to-back commitments, each planned at its usual length. One runs over, and you are late for everything after it.
Look at tomorrow's chain of commitments. Put one buffer after the item most likely to overrun. Do not fill it with anything.
In a chain of dependent steps, delays pass down the line and early finishes are wasted. The chain runs slower than the average of its parts.
Contagious
Single Model
Jonah Berger
Not started
Check what people around me really do, and make my own good habits visible.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Berger's rule is that what is built to show is built to grow. We imitate what we can observe, so private behaviour spreads slowly and public behaviour spreads fast. His examples include a charity that made support for men's health visible by having men grow moustaches for a month, and a yellow wristband that left a trace of a good cause on millions of arms. The warning is that this works for bad habits as well. He describes an evaluation of anti-drug advertising which found that teenagers who saw more of the adverts became more likely to use drugs, apparently because the adverts signalled that many of their peers did. He also describes students who drank more than they wished to, since each wrongly believed everyone else was comfortable with heavy drinking. Likely to trip me up: I judge what is normal from the loudest examples. Note: Berger is a marketing professor. The drinking and advertising findings come from published research by others. (Source: Contagious, Ch. 4.)
Find the Bright Spots (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): look for the visible cases that are working. The Normal Is Local (The Consolations of Philosophy, Alain de Botton): what seems normal depends on where you stand.
Habits & Behavior Change
Built to Show, Built to Grow
Ch. 4, Public. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2013).
Drink less alcohol; Quit smoking / vaping; Exercise / move daily
11; 10; 01
Plan: I will pick one belief of the form 'everyone here does it' and ask three people directly how much they really do. I will also leave one visible trace of a good habit, such as running shoes by the door.
public, visible, imitation, social proof, norms, drinking, peers, everyone does it, observable, copying, wristband, campaign backfire, smoking, vaping, students, pressure, normal, example, role model, traces
You think everyone around you drinks, smokes or skips the gym, since that is what you can see. The people quietly doing otherwise are invisible.
Ask three people directly how much they really do the thing you assume 'everyone' does. Compare their answers with your guess.
We copy what we can see. Make a good habit visible and it spreads. Broadcasting how common a bad habit is can spread that one too.
Contagious
Single Model
Jonah Berger
Not started
Tie each habit to something I see many times a day, so the world reminds me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Berger's phrase is 'top of mind, tip of tongue'. Things get talked about and acted on when something in the surroundings calls them to mind, and frequency matters more than cleverness. Sales of a chocolate bar rose while a space mission with the same name was in the news. A snack's sales recovered when a campaign tied it to coffee, which people meet several times a day. In Berger's own study, students who were shown a slogan linking fruit and vegetables to their dining-hall trays ate about a quarter more of them, since they saw a tray at every meal. A wittier slogan with no link to the setting did nothing. Likely to trip me up: a cue that is already tied to many other things is a weak reminder. Note: Berger is a marketing professor, and the tray study is his own peer-reviewed work. It fits wider research on cues and habits. (Source: Contagious, Ch. 2.)
Action Triggers (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): decide the when and where in advance. Habit Stacking (Atomic Habits, James Clear): attach the new act to an existing one.
Habits & Behavior Change
Triggers
Ch. 2, Triggers. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2013).
Eat healthier; Exercise / move daily; Drink more water / cut sugary drinks
02; 01; 16
Plan: I will pick one habit and one object I meet at least three times a day, and write a single sentence linking them. I will count how often the object reminded me over two weeks.
triggers, cues, top of mind, reminders, environment, frequency, slogan, tray, coffee, association, habit cue, daily objects, prompt, forgetting, link, context, vegetables, water, nudge, routine
Your good intention lives in your head, where nothing reminds you of it. Hours pass, and you only remember when the moment has gone.
Pick one habit and one thing you see several times a day: the kettle, your desk, a door. Write the link: 'When I see X, I do Y.'
What is top of mind gets done and talked about. Tie a behaviour to a cue you meet often in daily life, and the cue does the reminding.
Made to Stick
Single Model
Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Not started
Turn the big numbers in my life into units I can feel, so that I act on them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the Heaths say statistics are rarely meaningful in themselves, and that people remember the relationship a number illustrates, not the number. Their human-scale principle is to bring figures down to a size that intuition can handle. One campaigner made the scale of nuclear arsenals felt by dropping a single pellet into a metal bucket to stand for one bomb, and then pouring in five thousand. Another example restates dry survey percentages about a workplace as a football team on which only a few players know which goal is theirs. The number does not change. What changes is whether anyone can judge it. Likely to trip me up: a translated number can mislead if the comparison is chosen to flatter a case, so I should check the arithmetic. Note: the framework is the authors' synthesis, backed by research on how poorly we grasp large numbers. (Source: Made to Stick, Ch. 4.)
The Size Instinct (Factfulness, Hans Rosling): never leave a number alone, compare it. The Cost Is Measured in Life (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): convert cost into the hours of life it takes.
Thinking & Reasoning
The Human-Scale Principle
Ch. 4, Credible. Starts on p. 130 (Random House hardcover, 2007, from the book's contents pages).
Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending; Improve relationships / communicate
03; 22; 25
Plan: I will convert my five largest yearly costs into hours of my own work, and my savings target into an amount per day. I will keep both lists where I make spending decisions.
statistics, numbers, scale, human scale, comparison, money, budget, hours of work, yearly cost, subscriptions, data, persuasion, intuition, big numbers, analogy, debt, savings, presentation, meaning, translate
A yearly cost, a loan total or a statistic slides straight past you. It is too big or too abstract to feel like anything, so you do nothing.
Take one large number in your life, such as a yearly subscription total. Convert it into hours of your own work. Decide again if it is worth it.
Big numbers do not stick. Translate them to a scale people can feel: a day's work, a football team, a bucket. Then they can be judged.
Supercommunicators
Single Model
Charles Duhigg
Not started
Get past small talk with people I already know and people I have just met.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duhigg describes deep questions as ones that ask about someone's values, beliefs or experiences and not about the plain facts of their life. 'What do you like most about your job?' invites a real answer where 'Where do you work?' does not. He tells of a psychologist whose research shows people expect such questions to be awkward and find them far more welcome than they feared. He also describes the 'fast friends' procedure, in which pairs of strangers took turns answering more and more personal questions and came away feeling close. The turn-taking is the point: closeness comes from both people opening up, not from one person being interviewed. Likely to trip me up: fear of seeming nosy, and forgetting to share my own answer. Note: Duhigg is a journalist. The original fast-friends study was small, though the general finding has been repeated. (Source: Supercommunicators, Ch. 3.)
Listen as if They Know Something You Don't (12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson): a deep question is an invitation to be taught. Social Investment (The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor): relationships are where effort pays back most.
People & Communication
Deep Questions
Ch. 3, The Listening Cure: Touchy-Feely Hedge Funders. Page not verified (Random House, 2024).
Spend time with family/friends; Improve relationships / communicate
14; 25
Plan: I will rewrite my three usual small-talk questions as deep ones and use one a day for two weeks. Each time I will answer it myself as well. I will note which conversations went somewhere new.
deep questions, small talk, values, beliefs, experiences, vulnerability, closeness, friendship, strangers, dinner, connection, curiosity, reciprocity, opening up, listening, fast friends, family, first date, colleagues, meaningful
Your conversations stay on weather, work and traffic. You have known some people for years and could not say what they care about.
Take one fact question you always ask and turn it into a feeling or value question. Ask it once today, and give your own answer too.
Ask about values, beliefs and experiences, not facts. 'What do you love about your work?' beats 'Where do you work?' Then answer it too.
Supercommunicators
Single Model
Charles Duhigg
Not started
Work out what kind of conversation someone wants before I reply.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duhigg says every conversation is one of three kinds. The practical one asks what this is really about. The emotional one asks how we feel. The social one asks who we are to each other. Conversations go wrong when two people are having different kinds at the same moment, for example when one person wants sympathy and the other offers solutions. He calls the remedy the matching principle: notice which kind the other person is in and join them there. He reports a question some teachers are trained to ask an upset pupil: do you want to be helped, hugged or heard? Likely to trip me up: my reflex is to fix, since fixing feels like caring. Note: Duhigg is a journalist. He mixes peer-reviewed research with stories from the CIA, NASA and television, and the stories carry more of the weight than the studies. (Source: Supercommunicators, Ch. 1.)
The Three Conversations (Difficult Conversations, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen): a close cousin, with three layers inside one talk. Observation, Feeling, Need, Request (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): find the need before you answer.
People & Communication
The Matching Principle
Ch. 1, The Matching Principle: How to Fail at Recruiting Spies. Page not verified (Random House, 2024).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: For two weeks, when someone brings me a problem, I will ask one question before I respond: do you want help with this, or do you want me to listen? I will note how often my first guess was wrong.
matching, conversation types, practical, emotional, social, advice, listening, fixing, sympathy, venting, partner, mismatch, helped hugged heard, connection, empathy, solutions, misunderstanding, support, colleague, children
Your partner describes a bad day and you offer three solutions. They go quiet. You were being helpful, and they feel unheard. You were in different conversations.
Next time someone brings you a problem, ask before you answer: 'Do you want to be helped, hugged or heard?' Use your own words.
Every talk is one of three kinds: practical, emotional, or about who we are. It works when both people are having the same kind at once.
Made to Stick
Single Model
Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Not started
Make myself want to read and learn by starting from a question.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the Heaths present a theory from a behavioural economist: curiosity happens when we feel a gap in our knowledge, and a gap is uncomfortable in the way an itch is. We stay to the end of a bad film because not knowing how it ends is worse than watching. The consequence for anyone who teaches or writes is that the gap must be opened before it is closed. Our habit is to hand people facts. First they have to realise that they need them. The authors suggest posing a question or a puzzle, or asking people to predict an outcome. They add that a little knowledge makes gaps easier to feel, since we need to know something before we notice what is missing. Likely to trip me up: used cheaply, this becomes clickbait, where the promise is bigger than the answer. Note: the gap theory is published psychology. The framework around it is the authors' synthesis. (Source: Made to Stick, Ch. 2.)
Read What You Love Until You Love to Read (The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, Eric Jorgenson): follow real curiosity. Top Idea in Your Mind (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): an open question keeps working in the background.
Learning & Knowledge
The Curiosity Gap
Ch. 2, Unexpected. Starts on p. 63 (Random House hardcover, 2007, from the book's contents pages).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
09; 17; 25
Plan: Before each reading session I will write the one question I want the chapter to answer. When I explain something to others, I will open with the puzzle and hold the answer back for a minute.
curiosity, knowledge gap, questions, mystery, attention, teaching, reading, learning, hook, puzzle, teaser, prediction, interest, boredom, presentation, storytelling, open loop, motivation, study, explain
You open a book or a talk with the facts. Attention dies in minutes, yours included. Nobody felt a question, so the answers had nowhere to land.
Before you read or teach anything today, write the one question it answers. Read the question first, and only then go to the material.
Curiosity is the itch of a gap in what we know. To hold attention, open the gap first: pose the puzzle, and only then give the facts.
Supercommunicators
Single Model
Charles Duhigg
Not started
Find out what the other person wants from a conversation, and which kind of reasoning will reach them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Duhigg says every conversation begins with an unspoken negotiation over two things: what we are really going to talk about, and how we will make decisions together. He describes two kinds of reasoning people use. The logic of costs and benefits weighs options in a practical way. The logic of similarities asks what someone like me does in a situation like this, and it runs on stories, values and empathy. He tells of a juror who changed a deadlocked jury by finding out what each person wanted and by switching logics, and of a cancer surgeon who got further with patients once he began by asking what the diagnosis meant to them. Likely to trip me up: I tend to pile on more facts when facts are not working. Note: Duhigg is a journalist, and these are case stories built around a body of negotiation research. (Source: Supercommunicators, Ch. 2.)
Interests, Not Positions (Getting to Yes, Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton): ask what they want it for. Talk About What They Want (How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie): start from their side.
People & Communication
The Quiet Negotiation
Ch. 2, Every Conversation Is a Negotiation: The Trial of Leroy Reed. Page not verified (Random House, 2024).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised
25; 13
Plan: At the start of any discussion that matters I will ask what the other person hopes to get from it. If facts are not landing, I will switch to a story or to what people like us usually do, and see if that moves things.
negotiation, persuasion, goals, what do you want, logic, stories, values, costs and benefits, facts, empathy, decisions, jury, doctor, meetings, agenda, similarity, reasoning, talking past, agreement, asking
You bring data to someone who is deciding by values, or a moving story to someone weighing costs. You repeat yourself louder, and neither of you moves.
Open your next important conversation with: 'What would you like to get out of this?' Listen for whether they answer in costs or in stories.
Every talk opens with a silent negotiation over what it is about and how to decide: by costs and benefits, or by stories and values.
Made to Stick
Single Model
Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Not started
Remember what I read by attaching each idea to something I can picture.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the Heaths compare memory to Velcro, not to a filing cabinet. One side of Velcro has thousands of tiny hooks and the other thousands of tiny loops, and an idea sticks according to how many hooks it has. Concrete things, which you can see, hear or touch, have many hooks. Abstractions have few. They retell the story of a schoolteacher who, the day after a famous assassination, taught prejudice by dividing her class by eye colour for a day, which her pupils remembered for decades. They also argue that concrete language is the only safe common ground between experts and novices, since each can picture the same object. Likely to trip me up: abstraction feels more intelligent, and finding the right example takes effort. Note: that concrete material is remembered better is well supported in memory research. The framework is the authors' synthesis. (Source: Made to Stick, Ch. 3.)
New combinations (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): new ideas hook onto what you already hold. The Mind Fills In and Leaves Out (Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert): vague memories get rewritten, vivid ones less so.
Learning & Knowledge
The Velcro Theory of Memory
Ch. 3, Concrete. Starts on p. 98 (Random House hardcover, 2007, from the book's contents pages).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: For every idea I want to keep from a book, I will write one concrete example from my own life next to it. After a month I will test which ideas I can still recall, with and without examples.
memory, concrete, examples, hooks, velcro, abstraction, remembering, notes, learning, teaching, vivid, senses, images, recall, study, explanation, analogy, stories, details, retention
You read a chapter full of sound principles and a week later can recall none of them. They were abstract, so they had nothing to hold on with.
Take one abstract idea you want to keep. Write one concrete example of it from your own life, with a place, a person and an object in it.
Memory works like Velcro: an idea sticks by its hooks. Concrete details, things you can see and touch, give an idea far more hooks.
The Goal
Single Model
Eliyahu M. Goldratt and Jeff Cox
Not started
Have a repeatable way to improve anything, one constraint at a time.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: near the end of the novel the manager's team writes down what they have been doing all along, in five steps. Identify the system's constraint. Decide how to exploit it, which means getting the most from it as it stands. Subordinate everything else to that decision, so that other steps work to the constraint's pace and not to their own efficiency. Elevate the constraint, by adding capacity, and only after the first three steps have been done. Then, if the constraint has been broken, go back to the first step. In the next chapter they add a warning: do not let inertia become the constraint. They discover that rules they had set up around the old bottleneck were still in force and were now holding the plant back. Likely to trip me up: jumping straight to buying more capacity, and keeping old rules after the constraint has moved. Note: a business novel. The five steps are the core of the theory of constraints, which rests mostly on case evidence. (Source: The Goal, Ch. 36 and Ch. 37.)
Leverage Points (Thinking in Systems, Donella Meadows): change the system where it responds. Generic or Exception? (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): rules made for an old situation outlive it.
Systems & Strategy
The Five Focusing Steps
Ch. 36 (first version) and Ch. 37 (revised, with the warning about inertia). The novel's chapters are numbered and untitled. Page not verified (North River Press, 2nd revised edition, 1992).
Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 17
Plan: I will run the five steps on one system each quarter, such as my weekly output. I will write the current constraint at the top of my plan, and review the rules I made around the old one whenever it moves.
five focusing steps, theory of constraints, identify, exploit, subordinate, elevate, repeat, inertia, continuous improvement, process, constraint, system, old rules, review, capacity, method, workflow, bottleneck moves, ongoing, upgrade
You fixed your biggest problem last year and still run your life around it. The constraint has moved, and your old rules are now the obstacle.
Write the five steps on a card. Run the first two on one system today: what is the constraint, and how do I get more from it as it is?
Find the constraint. Get the most from it. Make all else serve it. Then expand it. When it moves, start again, and beware of inertia.
Contagious
Single Model
Jonah Berger
Not started
See other people's posts for what they are, so they stop working as a measure of my life.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Berger says people share things that make them look good to others, much as they use money to buy things. He calls this social currency and describes three ways to earn it. We pass on what is remarkable, since it makes us seem interesting. We respond to game mechanics, such as status levels that show how well we are doing. And we like to feel like insiders, with access to something scarce. His examples include a bar hidden behind a phone booth and a blender company that filmed itself destroying phones. The reverse reading is the useful one for ordinary life: if people post what earns currency, then a feed is a selection of wins, not a fair sample of anyone's days. Likely to trip me up: I know this and still compare. Note: Berger is a marketing professor. The six-part framework is his own synthesis, and many of the examples are stories told after the fact. (Source: Contagious, Ch. 1.)
Man in the Car Paradox (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): nobody is as impressed as you think. You Aren't What You Drive (The Millionaire Next Door, Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko): display is not wealth.
People & Communication
Social Currency
Ch. 1, Social Currency. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2013).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Cut phone / social-media use
26; 06
Plan: For two weeks, whenever a post makes me feel behind, I will name what the person gains by sharing it. I will also notice what I choose to share and what I leave out.
social currency, sharing, status, looking good, highlight reel, social media, comparison, envy, posts, remarkable, insider, exclusive, bragging, feed, image, likes, word of mouth, showing off, selection, impression
You scroll past holidays, promotions and perfect meals and feel behind. You are comparing your whole life with what others chose to show.
Next time a post makes you feel behind, ask: 'What does sharing this earn the person who posted it?' Then ask what they left out.
People share what makes them look good: the remarkable, the exclusive, the win. A feed is social currency, not a record of ordinary life.
Made to Stick
Single Model
Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Not started
Explain what I know in a way someone new to it can follow.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the Heaths describe a Stanford experiment in which people tapped out the rhythm of well-known songs on a table while listeners tried to name the tune. The tappers predicted listeners would get it right half the time. Listeners managed about one song in forty. The tapper cannot help hearing the melody in their head, and the listener hears only knocking. The Heaths call this the curse of knowledge: once we know something, we find it hard to imagine not knowing it, so we speak in shorthand and abstractions. They name it as the main villain of the book. Their two ways out are to test your message on real people, and to turn it into something concrete. Likely to trip me up: my explanation will always sound clear to me. Note: the tapping study was a doctoral project. The wider effect is well documented in psychology. The book's framework is the authors' own synthesis. (Source: Made to Stick, Introduction.)
Be Precise in Your Speech (12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson): say the specific thing. What You See Is All There Is (WYSIATI) (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): your listener has only what you gave them.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Curse of Knowledge
Introduction, What Sticks? Starts on p. 3 (Random House hardcover, 2007, from the book's contents pages).
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 17
Plan: Before I publish or send an explanation, I will give it to one person outside the field and ask them to tell it back to me. I will rewrite every point where their version and mine differ.
curse of knowledge, explaining, jargon, teaching, expert, beginner, tapping, clarity, communication, assumptions, presentation, writing, documentation, simple, audience, feedback, abstraction, misunderstanding, instructions, empathy
Your explanation is perfectly clear to you. Your listener nods and understands nothing. You skipped the three steps that feel too obvious to say.
Explain one idea from your work to someone outside it. Ask them to say it back. Every gap in their version is your curse of knowledge.
Once you know something, you cannot imagine not knowing it. So you skip steps, use jargon, and wonder why nobody follows you.
Games People Play
Single Model
Eric Berne
Not started
Find out which of my obstacles are real and which are shields.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Berne uses this as his model example of a game. A woman complained that her domineering husband had always stopped her from learning to dance. When changes at home left him less in control and she signed up for classes, she found she had a strong fear of dance floors and had to give up. Berne's reading is that she had chosen a restrictive partner, without being aware of it, so that she could say 'if it weren't for you' and never have to meet the fear. The restriction was doing her a service. The same structure turns up whenever an outside obstacle, such as a job, a family duty or a lack of time, is blamed for something we are in fact afraid to attempt. Likely to trip me up: some obstacles are entirely real, and this idea must not be used to blame people who are truly constrained or controlled. Note: a clinician's case reading from the 1960s, with the period's view of marriage. Take the question it asks and leave the theory. (Source: Games People Play, Ch. 5 and Ch. 7.)
Fault Is Not Responsibility (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson): whoever is to blame, the next move is yours. Master My Stories (Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and co-authors): the villain story excuses you from acting.
Mindset & Emotions
If It Weren't For You
Part I, Ch. 5, Games, where it is the worked example, and Part II, Ch. 7, Marital Games, 'If It Weren't for You'. Page not verified (first published by Grove Press, 1964).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 25; 17
Plan: I will list every 'if it weren't for' I use about my work, family and time. For each one I will write what I would have to face if it vanished tomorrow, and I will test the smallest one for a week.
blame, excuses, fear, avoidance, partner, job, no time, if only, obstacles, protection, self-deception, games, responsibility, dreams, side project, courage, restriction, hidden fear, complaint, starting
'I would write, travel or change career if it weren't for my job, my partner, my schedule.' The obstacle is real, and it is also very convenient.
Finish the sentence: 'If it weren't for ..., I would ...' Then ask honestly: if that obstacle vanished tomorrow, what would I be afraid of?
We blame a person or a job for stopping us doing what we secretly fear. The restriction protects us. Remove it, and the fear is still there.
Contagious
Single Model
Jonah Berger
Not started
Tell stories in which the lesson cannot be left out.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Berger says people do not think in terms of information. They think in stories, and information travels inside them, in the way soldiers travelled inside the wooden horse. People retold the story of a man who lost a great deal of weight eating sandwiches from one chain, and the chain's name went with it, since the story cannot be told without it. His caution is what he calls valuable virality. He describes an advert with roller-skating babies that was watched tens of millions of times while the brand's sales fell, and a stunt at the Olympic Games that everyone remembered while nobody recalled the sponsor. In each case the brand could be removed and the story still worked. The test is simple: retell it without the point and see if it survives. Likely to trip me up: falling for an entertaining story and bolting the lesson on at the end. Note: the framework is Berger's synthesis, and these examples are stories told after the fact. (Source: Contagious, Ch. 6.)
The Velcro Theory of Memory (Made to Stick, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): a story gives an idea its hooks. The Curse of Knowledge (Made to Stick, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): a story forces you to be concrete.
People & Communication
Trojan Horse Stories
Ch. 6, Stories. Page not verified (Simon & Schuster, 2013).
Improve relationships / communicate; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 17
Plan: For each thing I want people to remember, I will write a short true story that only works if the lesson is in it. I will test it by asking a listener to retell it a day later and checking if the lesson survived.
stories, trojan horse, lesson, retelling, message, teaching, presentations, virality, examples, anecdote, brand, memorable, narrative, moral, content, explain, integral, entertainment, persuasion, word of mouth
People remember your funny story and forget what it was for. The lesson was stuck on the side, so it fell off when the story was retold.
Take a story you tell to make a point. Try retelling it with the point removed. If it still works, rebuild it so the point is the plot.
People pass on stories, and lessons ride inside them. Build the story so the point cannot be removed without the story falling apart.
Made to Stick
Single Model
Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Not started
Boil each plan down to the one thing that must happen, so I can adapt when the plan breaks.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the Heaths borrow the idea from the United States Army, which found that detailed plans stop being useful soon after an operation begins. So every order opens with the commander's intent: a plain statement of the goal, which lets people at every level improvise when the plan falls apart. The authors give two prompts the Army uses: if we do nothing else during tomorrow's mission, we must do this, and the single most important thing we must do tomorrow is this. Their business example is an airline that judged every decision against being the low-fare airline. They stress that simple means finding the core, which requires leaving out other things that also matter. Likely to trip me up: choosing one thing feels like neglecting the rest. Note: the framework is the authors' synthesis of research and case stories, not a tested method. (Source: Made to Stick, Ch. 1.)
The Focusing Question (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller with Jay Papasan): one thing that makes the rest easier. First Things First (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): deciding what not to do is the hard part.
Productivity & Focus
Commander's Intent
Ch. 1, Simple. Starts on p. 25 (Random House hardcover, 2007, from the book's contents pages).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Improve relationships / communicate
13; 07; 25
Plan: Each evening I will write one line for the next day: if I do nothing else, I must do this. When the day goes sideways, I will protect that line and let the rest go.
commander's intent, core, priority, plans, simple, one thing, goal, improvise, mission, daily plan, focus, essentials, decision rule, clarity, briefing, team, adapt, overwhelm, most important, message
Your plan has twelve steps, and the day wrecks it by ten o'clock. With no single aim to fall back on, you drift into whatever is loudest.
Finish this sentence for tomorrow: 'If I do nothing else, I must ...' Write it where you will see it first thing.
Plans fall apart on contact. State the one goal so plainly that anyone can improvise towards it: if we do nothing else, we must do this.
The Goal
Single Model
Eliyahu M. Goldratt and Jeff Cox
Not started
Protect the hours at my bottleneck as if they were the whole project's hours.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Jonah visits the plant and asks what an hour of downtime costs on the bottleneck machine. The accountant gives the machine's own hourly rate, a small figure. Jonah corrects him. Since nothing can be sold until it has passed through the bottleneck, an hour lost there is an hour lost for the entire plant, and the true cost is the plant's whole hourly expense, close to a hundred times more. He then lists ways of finding hidden capacity. Never let the bottleneck stand idle during breaks or while waiting for parts. Inspect quality before the bottleneck, so that it never wastes time on work that will be scrapped. Send some of its load elsewhere. The reverse also holds: an hour saved at a step that is not the bottleneck adds nothing to output. Likely to trip me up: I tend to improve whatever is easiest to improve. Note: a business novel, but the reasoning is simple arithmetic about flow. (Source: The Goal, Ch. 19.)
First Things First (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): concentrate on the few things that decide results. The Focusing Question (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller with Jay Papasan): find the one thing that makes the rest easier.
Systems & Strategy
An Hour Lost at the Bottleneck
Ch. 19. The novel's chapters are numbered and untitled. Page not verified (North River Press, 2nd revised edition, 1992).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus
13; 07
Plan: Once I know my bottleneck step, I will block its hours first each week. I will stop it waiting on anything, feed it only work worth doing, and hand off whatever someone else could do.
bottleneck, downtime, lost hour, constraint, priority, protect time, idle, quality check, offload, throughput, system cost, leverage, optimisation, mirage, wasted effort, focus, critical step, scheduling, capacity, improvement
You speed up the parts of your work that are easy to speed up. Output stays flat, since none of them was the step that everything waits for.
Name your bottleneck step. List what makes it wait or wastes its time: interruptions, poor inputs, work others could do. Remove one today.
An hour lost at the bottleneck is an hour lost for the whole system. An hour saved anywhere else changes nothing. Improve the constraint.
The Goal
Single Model
Eliyahu M. Goldratt and Jeff Cox
Not started
Judge my days by movement towards the goal, not by how full they were.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: in the novel, a physicist called Jonah asks a plant manager what the goal of his factory is. The manager offers efficiency, quality and new technology. Jonah's reply is that an action is productive only if it moves you towards the goal, and that everything else, however busy, is not. For a company, the manager concludes, the goal is to make money, and the robots he is proud of have not helped with that. Later Jonah tells him that a plant in which everyone is working all the time is very inefficient, since keeping every person and machine busy produces piles of unfinished work and no more finished goods. The idea transfers directly. Once I have named my goal, a full day and a productive day are two separate things. Likely to trip me up: busyness is visible and feels virtuous, and most workplaces reward it. Note: this is a business novel that teaches a method called the theory of constraints. The method is widely used in operations, and the evidence for it is mostly case studies. (Source: The Goal, Ch. 4, 5 and 11.)
What Can I Contribute? (The Effective Executive, Peter F. Drucker): results, not effort. Goodhart's Law (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): efficiency figures can replace the goal they were meant to serve.
Productivity & Focus
Busy Is Not Productive
Ch. 4 and Ch. 5 (the goal) and Ch. 11 (the line about everyone working all the time). The novel's chapters are numbered and untitled. Page not verified (North River Press, 2nd revised edition, 1992).
Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus; Limit multitasking / context-switching
13; 07; 28
Plan: I will write my goal for this quarter in one sentence. Each evening for two weeks I will mark every task done that day as 'towards' or 'not'. I will look at the ratio, not at the length of the list.
goal, productivity, busy, efficiency, activity, results, purpose, measurement, to-do list, progress, utilisation, idle, work in progress, priorities, effectiveness, direction, busywork, output, focus, quarter
You finish the day exhausted with forty things ticked off. Nothing that matters moved. You measured activity, since the goal was never stated.
Write your goal for this quarter in one sentence. Tonight, mark each thing you did today as 'towards it' or 'not'. Count the first group.
An action is productive only if it moves you towards your goal. A system where everyone is busy all the time is very inefficient.
The Effective Executive
Single Model
Peter F. Drucker
Not started
Measure my work by what other people can do with it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Drucker says effective people look up from their own work and outward, towards results. The question he gives is: what can I contribute that will significantly affect the performance and the results of the institution I serve? He argues that a person who focuses on effort and on their own authority remains a subordinate however senior they are, while a person who focuses on contribution is in the real sense part of management however junior. He adds that asking the question also improves communication and teamwork, since it forces you to find out what others need. Likely to trip me up: effort is visible and comfortable to count. Results mean asking other people, and hearing the answer. Note: Drucker wrote from consulting and observation, not from experiments. (Source: The Effective Executive, Ch. 3.)
Talk About What They Want (How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie): start from the other person's need. The Craftsman Mindset (So Good They Can't Ignore You, Cal Newport): ask what you can offer, not what you are owed.
Productivity & Focus
What Can I Contribute?
Ch. 3, What Can I Contribute? Starts on p. 52 (HarperBusiness paperback, from the publisher's contents listing).
Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
13; 17; 25
Plan: I will ask three people who depend on my work what they need from me and what I do that gets in their way. I will change one thing for each and check back in a month.
contribution, results, effort, usefulness, outward focus, colleagues, customers, output, busy, value, teamwork, career, impact, responsibility, feedback, service, performance, what is needed, work, purpose
You measure your day by effort and hours. You are busy and tired, and nobody downstream can use what you produced.
Ask one person who uses your work: 'What do you need from me to do your job well, and what do I do that gets in your way?'
Ask what results others need from you, not how hard you worked. Looking outward to contribution turns effort into usefulness.
Born to Run
Single Model
Christopher McDougall
Not started
Test the belief that my body is not made for this, in the gentlest way possible.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: in chapter 28 McDougall tells how biologists at the University of Utah and at Harvard came to argue that the human body is built for distance running. They point to springy tendons in the legs and feet, a ligament that steadies the head, a great many sweat glands and very little body hair. None of these helps much with walking, and all of them help a runner keep going in heat. Their proposal is that early humans hunted by chasing animals in the midday sun until the animals overheated. McDougall also describes a researcher who ran with hunters in the Kalahari who still hunted this way. Likely to trip me up: taking the theory as an order to run far, soon. Note: the endurance running hypothesis was published in a leading science journal in 2004 and is taken seriously. How common such hunting was is still debated. It does not mean everyone should run. Anyone with a heart or joint condition should get medical advice first. (Source: Born to Run, Ch. 28.)
Built to Move, Built to Rest (The Body, Bill Bryson): the other half of the same evolutionary story. Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): what you believe you are decides what you try.
Mindset & Emotions
The Running Man
Ch. 28 (the book's chapters are numbered and untitled). Page not verified (Alfred A. Knopf, 2009).
Exercise / move daily; Spend more time outdoors
01; 18
Plan: Three times a week for a month I will go outside and move slowly for ten to twenty minutes, walking or jogging at a pace where I can talk. I will write down what my body actually did, next to what I expected.
running, evolution, endurance, persistence hunting, belief, body, not built for it, knees, outdoors, walking, jogging, identity, limits, ancestors, sweat, heat, natural, story, excuse, test
You believe running, or exercise in general, is unnatural for your body: 'my knees', 'my build'. The belief decides before you try.
Go outside and move slowly for ten minutes: walk, or jog so gently you could talk. Treat it as testing a belief, not as training.
One theory says humans evolved as endurance runners who outlasted prey in the heat. If so, 'I am not built to run' is a story, not a fact.
The Case Against Sugar
Single Model
Gary Taubes
Not started
Replace the vague rule 'in moderation' with my own two-week test.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: in his closing chapter Taubes admits that research cannot say how much sugar is too much, and that the answer may differ from person to person. He points out that 'moderation' is usually defined in a circle: it is whatever amount does no harm, so everyone believes they are already there. His suggestion is practical. Since no study can tell you, go without for a while and see what changes, much as a smoker only learns what life without cigarettes is like by stopping. Likely to trip me up: expecting to feel better can make me feel better, so I should be wary of reading too much into two weeks. Note: a self-experiment proves nothing in general. Taubes's wider claims about sugar are contested. Anyone with diabetes, or on medication that lowers blood sugar, should speak to a doctor before making large changes to their diet. (Source: The Case Against Sugar, Epilogue.)
Abstainers and Moderators (Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin): find out which one you are. The Minimum Effective Dose (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): dose matters, and it has to be found by testing.
Decision-Making & Risk
How Little Is Still Too Much?
Epilogue, How Little Is Still Too Much? Page not verified (Alfred A. Knopf, 2016).
Drink more water / cut sugary drinks; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Lose weight
16; 19; 08
Plan: I will pick the one sweet drink I have most often and go without it for two weeks. Each evening I will rate sleep, energy, cravings and mood out of five. Then I will decide what to keep, using my own numbers.
moderation, sugar, self-experiment, trial, abstain, two weeks, dose, sweet drinks, soda, cravings, energy, n of 1, test, going without, personal data, limits, habit, comparison, quit, how much
You are told to have sugar 'in moderation'. You believe you do. So does everyone, at every level of intake.
Pick one sweet drink you have daily and go without it for two weeks. Note sleep, energy, cravings and mood. Then decide with your own data.
'In moderation' is useless if nobody can say what moderation is. When the safe dose is unknown, run your own trial: go without and compare.
The Effective Executive
Single Model
Peter F. Drucker
Not started
Find out where my hours really go before I plan another week.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Drucker says effective people do not start with their tasks. They start with their time, in three steps. Record where it actually goes, as it happens and not from memory. Manage it, by asking of each activity what would happen if it were not done at all, which parts someone else could do, and what you do that wastes other people's time. Then consolidate what is left into the largest possible blocks, since important work cannot be done in scraps. He reports that people who estimated their time from memory were badly wrong when compared with a log. Likely to trip me up: keeping the log honestly and in real time, and doing it again. Drucker suggests repeating it a couple of times a year, since we drift back. Note: Drucker wrote from decades of consulting and observation, not from experiments. Some examples are dated. (Source: The Effective Executive, Ch. 2.)
Opportunity Cost (Seeking Wisdom, Peter Bevelin): an hour spent here cannot be spent there. The Weekly Review (Getting Things Done, David Allen): a set time to look at the whole picture.
Productivity & Focus
Know Thy Time
Ch. 2, Know Thy Time. Starts on p. 25 (HarperBusiness paperback, from the publisher's contents listing).
Be more punctual / manage time; Be more productive / organised; Limit multitasking / context-switching
23; 13; 28
Plan: I will log my time as it happens for two weeks, in half-hour lines. Then I will ask Drucker's questions of each entry, cut what need not be done, and block two half-days a week for my most important work.
time log, time management, tracking, hours, blocks, wasted time, meetings, punctual, schedule, calendar, delegation, busy, memory, audit, deep work, priorities, interruptions, planning, consolidate, late
You are sure you know where your time goes. You are wrong. Memory flatters you, so your plans rest on hours that do not exist.
Log your time today as it happens, in 30-minute lines. Do not rely on memory tonight. Tomorrow, circle what need not have been done at all.
Do not start with your tasks. Start with your time. Record where it really goes, cut what wastes it, and gather the rest into large blocks.
Born to Run
Single Model
Christopher McDougall
Not started
Start moving in a way that feels easy, so I keep coming back to it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: McDougall describes a lesson from Caballo Blanco, an American who had lived and run for years among the Tarahumara people of Mexico's Copper Canyons. His instruction was to think easy, light, smooth and fast, in that order. Begin with easy, since if that is all you ever get, it is not so bad. Then work on light, making the effort feel like nothing. When you have practised so long that you forget you are practising, work on smooth. The last one needs no work: get the first three and you will be fast. Likely to trip me up: my ego, and any device that shows me a pace. Note: McDougall is a journalist and a storyteller, and reviewers note that he dramatises some scenes. This is one runner's coaching cue, not research, though it matches how physical skills are usually taught: form before speed. The book's claims about barefoot running are disputed, and I have left them out. (Source: Born to Run.)
Making Smaller Circles (The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin): master the feel of the basic movement first. Stupid Small (Mini Habits, Stephen Guise): make starting so easy that you do not resist it.
Learning & Knowledge
Easy, Light, Smooth, Fast
Caballo Blanco's running lesson on the trail. The book's chapters are numbered and untitled, and the chapter number is not verified (Alfred A. Knopf, 2009).
Exercise / move daily; Learn a skill / upskill; Spend more time outdoors
01; 17; 18
Plan: For four weeks I will leave the watch at home. Each session has one aim: make it feel easy. I will stop while it still does. I will only think about 'light' once easy is routine.
running, easy, light, smooth, fast, form, pace, beginner, technique, injury, enjoyment, effort, jogging, skill, practice, patience, trail, speed, relaxed, order of learning
You start a new activity by pushing for speed or numbers. It feels awful, your form falls apart, you get hurt or hate it, and you stop.
In your next run, swim or practice session, ignore pace completely. Your only goal is to make it feel easy. Stop while it still does.
Learn a physical skill in this order: make it easy, then light, then smooth. Do not chase speed. With the first three, fast arrives.
The Body
Single Model
Bill Bryson
Not started
Stop counting glasses and put the effort into replacing sweet drinks.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Bryson writes that we take in about two and a half litres of water a day, and that about half of it arrives inside our food. He calls the belief that everyone should drink eight glasses a day the most enduring of dietary misunderstandings. He traces it to a 1945 paper from the American Food and Nutrition Board, which noted that this was roughly what an average person consumed in a day. A kidney specialist he quotes says people then confused that total with an amount they needed to drink on top of everything else. Likely to trip me up: a number is easier to follow than a signal like thirst. Note: independent reviews agree that the eight-glass rule has no research behind it. Needs do rise with heat and exercise, thirst can be a weaker signal in older people, and some medical conditions come with specific advice from a doctor. (Source: The Body, Ch. 14.)
Water as the Default Drink (How Not to Die, Michael Greger): a different view, with a number attached. Spotting Bad Science (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): ask where a health rule came from.
Thinking & Reasoning
The Eight-Glasses Myth
Ch. 14, Food, Glorious Food. Page not verified (Doubleday, 2019).
Drink more water / cut sugary drinks; Eat healthier
16; 02
Plan: For two weeks I will drop any glass target and drink when thirsty. My one rule will be that water or unsweetened tea comes before any sweet drink. I will note how many sweet drinks I still have.
water, hydration, eight glasses, myth, thirst, sugary drinks, soda, health rules, dehydration, tea, juice, bottle, drinking, habit, fluids, folklore, number, guilt, kidneys, replace
You count glasses and feel guilty at six. Meanwhile the real issue, the sweet drinks, goes untouched, because 'at least I am hydrating'.
Drop the glass count for a week. Make one change only: each time you would reach for a sweet drink, have water or unsweetened tea first.
No research says you need eight glasses of water a day. About half your water comes from food. Drink to thirst, and pick water over sugar.
The Case Against Sugar
Single Model
Gary Taubes
Not started
Find out what my sweet cravings are really answering, before I try to fight them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taubes opens by asking how we would regard sugar if it were not classed as a food. He points out that we give it to children as a reward and a comfort, that we crave it, that many people find it hard to take in small amounts, and that in animal studies it acts on the brain's reward system. His question is whether it behaves more like a mild drug than like a nutrient. Likely to trip me up: if I call it an addiction, I may use that as a reason not to try. Note: this is contested. Taubes is a science journalist arguing a case, as his title says. Sugar addiction in humans is not an accepted diagnosis, and most of the evidence comes from rats under special conditions. His larger claim, that sugar is the main cause of obesity and diabetes, is not accepted by most nutrition scientists. What is well supported is that sweet, highly processed foods are very easy to overeat. (Source: The Case Against Sugar, Ch. 1.)
Abstainers and Moderators (Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin): some people do better with none than with a little. The Habit Loop (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): find the cue and the reward behind the craving.
Habits & Behavior Change
Drug or Food?
Ch. 1, Drug or Food? Page not verified (Alfred A. Knopf, 2016).
Drink more water / cut sugary drinks; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Eat healthier
16; 19; 02
Plan: For one week I will write down each time I reach for something sweet and what came just before: tired, bored, stressed, or 'I earned it'. I will change nothing until I can see the pattern.
sugar, cravings, reward, comfort, addiction, sweets, soda, treat, moderation, dopamine, children, habit, emotional eating, dessert, chocolate, trigger, boredom, stress eating, sweet tooth, craving log
You plan to have 'just a little' and cannot. You blame weak will, and never ask if the thing itself is built to be hard to stop.
Notice today when you reach for something sweet: what came just before? Tired, bored, rewarded? Write it down each time.
Taubes asks if sugar acts more like a drug than a food: craved, used as a reward, hard to moderate. Treat it as a question to test.
The Effective Executive
Single Model
Peter F. Drucker
Not started
Stop improvising fixes for problems that keep coming back.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Drucker says the first question in any decision is whether the situation is generic or an exception. He describes four kinds. Some events are truly generic, and the single case is only a symptom. Some are new to you but common in general. A very few are truly unique. And some are the first sign of a new generic problem. Generic situations should be answered with a rule or a principle. The commonest mistake, he says, is to treat a generic situation as a string of unique events, which leads to endless patching. Effective people therefore make few decisions, and make them at the level of the rule. Likely to trip me up: the symptom looks different each time, so each case feels special. Note: Drucker wrote from observation, not experiments. (Source: The Effective Executive, Ch. 6.)
Rules and Filters (Seeking Wisdom, Peter Bevelin): decide once, in advance. Leverage Points (Thinking in Systems, Donella Meadows): change the rule, not the single event.
Decision-Making & Risk
Generic or Exception?
Ch. 6, The Elements of Decision-making. Starts on p. 113 (HarperBusiness paperback, from the publisher's contents listing).
Be more productive / organised; Limit multitasking / context-switching
13; 28
Plan: I will list the problems that have come up three or more times this year, at work and at home. For each I will write one rule or routine that would have handled every case, and put the first two in place.
generic, exception, recurring problem, rule, principle, decisions, patching, root cause, routine, pattern, firefighting, systems, policy, special case, repeat, symptoms, fix once, process, improvise, checklist
The same kind of problem keeps coming back. Each time you improvise a fresh fix, because each time it looks like a special case.
Pick a problem that has happened three times. Write the rule or routine that would have handled all three. Put it in place.
First ask: is this problem one of a kind, or one case of a general pattern? Most are generic. Solve those with a rule, not case by case.
How Not to Die
Single Model
Michael Greger with Gene Stone
Not started
Have a food rule simple enough to use while standing at the fridge.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greger sorts food into three groups. Green-light foods are unprocessed plant foods. Yellow-light foods are processed plant foods and unprocessed animal foods. Red-light foods are ultra-processed plant foods and processed animal foods. His advice is to eat as much green as possible, less yellow, and as little red as you can. He says it is the overall pattern from day to day that matters, not any single meal. The strength of the system is that it needs no counting and no weighing. Likely to trip me up: thinking in all-or-nothing terms, so that one red meal becomes a reason to give up. Note: Greger is a physician who advocates a fully plant-based diet. Critics say he selects studies that favour that view, and much of the evidence is observational. Health bodies do broadly agree on more whole plant foods and fewer ultra-processed ones. This is not medical advice. (Source: How Not to Die, Part 2.)
Rules and Filters (Seeking Wisdom, Peter Bevelin): a few criteria set in advance beat deciding in the moment. Abstainers and Moderators (Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin): decide if red means never or sometimes for you.
Habits & Behavior Change
Traffic Light Foods
Part 2, introduction to Dr. Greger's Daily Dozen ('Dining by Traffic Light'). Page not verified (Flatiron Books, 2015).
Eat healthier; Cut junk food / emotional eating; Lose weight
02; 19; 08
Plan: For one week I will only label what I eat as green, yellow or red and change nothing. In week two I will swap one red item a day for a green one and keep a count.
traffic light, food rules, green, yellow, red, processed food, whole foods, plants, junk food, simple diet, fridge, choices, snacks, ultra-processed, eating, categories, swap, vegetables, no counting, heuristic
Diet rules are complicated, so you give up and eat whatever is nearest. You need a rule simple enough to use while standing at the fridge.
Label everything you eat today green, yellow or red. Change nothing yet. Tomorrow, swap one red item for a green one.
Sort foods by three lights. Green: whole plant foods, eat freely. Yellow: go slow. Red: ultra-processed, stop and think. No counting.
How Not to Die
Single Model
Michael Greger with Gene Stone
Not started
Change my eating by adding good things, since every list of bans I have tried has failed.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greger's checklist has twelve lines: beans, berries, other fruits, cruciferous vegetables, greens, other vegetables, flaxseeds, nuts and seeds, herbs and spices, whole grains, beverages and exercise, each with a number of servings. He says it is not a meal plan. It is a list of what he tries to fit into his own day, meant to prompt better choices. The design is the useful part: it tells you what to add, and what you add tends to push out what you would otherwise have eaten. Likely to trip me up: the full list is a lot of food and a lot of boxes, and an unticked box can feel like failure. Note: Greger advocates a fully plant-based diet, and critics say he selects studies that favour it. No trial has tested the Daily Dozen as a package. The single items rest mostly on observational studies. (Source: How Not to Die, Part 2.)
Keep Score (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): what gets ticked gets done. Eat the Same Few Meals (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): fewer decisions, more consistency.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Daily Dozen
Part 2, Dr. Greger's Daily Dozen. Page not verified (Flatiron Books, 2015).
Eat healthier; Lose weight; Exercise / move daily
02; 08; 01
Plan: I will start with a list of five items, not twelve: beans, a fruit, greens, water and a walk. I will tick them daily for a month and add a sixth only when the five are routine.
checklist, daily dozen, adding, beans, berries, greens, whole grains, nuts, servings, tick list, tracking, diet, deprivation, crowd out, vegetables, fruit, routine, healthy eating, positive goals, habits
Every diet you try is a list of things to stop. You feel deprived, rebel, and quit. Nobody ever told you what to add.
Write a short tick-list of five good things to fit in today, such as beans, a fruit, greens, water, a walk. Tick them off. Ban nothing.
A daily tick-list of things to fit in: beans, berries, greens, grains, nuts, water, exercise and more. It adds good things. It bans nothing.
The Effective Executive
Single Model
Peter F. Drucker
Not started
Work on one important thing at a time, and drop what I would not start today.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Drucker says that if effectiveness has one secret, it is concentration. Effective people do first things first, and they do one thing at a time. The first step is to get rid of yesterday: review every activity and ask, if we were not already doing this, would we go into it now? If the answer is no, stop or cut it back sharply. He says setting priorities is easy. The hard part is what he calls posteriorities, deciding what not to tackle, and sticking to it, which takes courage more than analysis. His guides are to favour the future over the past and opportunity over problems. Likely to trip me up: pressure always favours yesterday's commitments and whatever is urgent. Note: Drucker wrote from observation, not experiments. Research on task-switching supports doing one thing at a time. (Source: The Effective Executive, Ch. 5.)
The Focusing Question (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller with Jay Papasan): what is the one thing that makes the rest easier? Top Idea in Your Mind (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): you only get one.
Productivity & Focus
First Things First
Ch. 5, First Things First. Starts on p. 100 (HarperBusiness paperback, from the publisher's contents listing).
Limit multitasking / context-switching; Beat procrastination / focus; Be more productive / organised
28; 07; 13
Plan: I will list everything I have in progress and ask of each: if I were not already doing this, would I start it now? I will drop or pause what fails, and work on the top item alone until it is done.
concentration, one thing, priorities, posteriorities, multitasking, focus, old projects, sunk cost, stop doing, courage, commitments, urgent, important, single-tasking, abandon, finish, overload, decide, not-to-do list, first things
You keep five things moving at once and finish none. Old commitments that stopped mattering still take your best hours.
Ask of each ongoing task: 'If I were not already doing this, would I start it now?' Drop or pause one that fails the test.
Do first things first, and one thing at a time. Most of the work is deciding what not to do, including old projects that no longer pay.
The Body
Single Model
Bill Bryson
Not started
Use calorie numbers as a rough guide and pay attention to how foods actually fill me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Bryson tells the story of Wilbur Atwater, an American chemist who in the late 1800s built a sealed chamber to measure the energy in food and in the people eating it. He worked out values for some four thousand foods, and his 1896 reference book shaped nutrition for a generation. Bryson says much of what Atwater concluded later proved wrong, through no fault of his own. The deeper problem is that a calorie figure measures the heat in a food. It does not account for how much of that energy a body actually absorbs, and it says nothing about whether the food is good for you. Likely to trip me up: a number on a label feels exact, and my own sense of fullness does not. Note: nutrition research supports the point. Studies have found, for example, that whole nuts deliver fewer usable calories than their labels state. Calories still matter for weight. They are just a blunt measure. (Source: The Body, Ch. 14.)
Goodhart's Law (Super Thinking, Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann): chasing the number can miss the purpose. The Map Is Not the Territory (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): the label is a map.
Thinking & Reasoning
The Calorie Is a Rough Guide
Ch. 14, Food, Glorious Food. Page not verified (Doubleday, 2019).
Lose weight; Eat healthier
08; 02
Plan: For two weeks I will note, next to the calorie figure of each main meal, how many hours it kept me full. I will look for foods that hold me longest for the same number.
calories, counting, labels, atwater, nutrition, absorption, fullness, hunger, diet, weight loss, tracking, numbers, food quality, satiety, precision, measurement, nuts, energy, rough guide, apps
You track calories to the last digit and trust the label over your own hunger. Two foods with the same number leave you feeling nothing alike.
For one week, judge meals by how long they keep you full as well as by the label. Note which foods hold you longest for the same calories.
Calorie figures come from burning food in a lab over a century ago. They ignore how your body absorbs each food. Treat them as rough.
The Body
Single Model
Bill Bryson
Not started
Stop waiting to feel like exercising, and build movement into things I have to do anyway.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Bryson writes that our ancestors worked hard for their food and ended up with bodies designed for two somewhat contradictory things: to be active much of the time, and never to be more active than necessary. He quotes the Harvard evolutionary biologist Daniel Lieberman, who says that to understand the body you have to understand that we evolved as hunter-gatherers, ready to spend a lot of energy to get food and unwilling to waste energy when there was no need. Bryson's summary is that exercise is important and rest is vital too. Likely to trip me up: modern life has removed the necessity and kept the instinct to rest, so nothing forces me to move. Note: Bryson is a writer, not a scientist, and the book is a well-sourced tour of facts more than a book of models, so I have taken only three from it. Lieberman's view is widely respected. (Source: The Body, Ch. 10.)
Do Not Wait for Motivation (Mini Habits, Stephen Guise): act first, feeling follows. The Type I Fitness Plan (Drive, Daniel H. Pink): choose movement you enjoy for its own sake.
Habits & Behavior Change
Built to Move, Built to Rest
Ch. 10, On the Move: Bipedalism and Exercise. Page not verified (Doubleday, 2019).
Exercise / move daily; Spend more time outdoors
01; 18
Plan: I will stop treating my reluctance as a character flaw. For a month I will attach movement to necessity or pleasure: walking to errands, taking calls on foot, and one walk a week with a friend.
exercise, laziness, evolution, hunter-gatherer, energy, rest, motivation, guilt, walking, movement, instinct, necessity, gym, sedentary, active, reluctance, body, errands, effort, natural
You feel lazy and guilty for not wanting to exercise. You wait to feel like it, and that feeling never comes.
Stop waiting to want it. Tie one bout of movement today to something necessary or enjoyable: walk to an errand, or walk with a friend.
Humans evolved to be active when needed and to save energy when not. Disliking exercise is normal wiring. Plan around it, not against it.
The Case Against Sugar
Single Model
Gary Taubes
Not started
Check who paid before I change my eating because of a headline.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taubes describes how the sugar industry's trade body paid for research and public relations from the middle of the last century onwards, to defend its product and to point blame at dietary fat. This is the best-documented part of his book. Independent researchers, writing in a leading medical journal in 2016, published internal industry papers showing that Harvard scientists were paid in the 1960s for a review that played down sugar's part in heart disease, and the funding was not disclosed. Likely to trip me up: sliding into cynicism. Funding is a reason to look twice. It is not proof that a finding is wrong, and almost all research is paid for by someone. Note: Taubes is a journalist arguing a case, and his wider claims about sugar are contested. This historical point is well supported. (Source: The Case Against Sugar, Ch. 7 and Ch. 8.)
Spotting Bad Science (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): funding is one of the questions to ask. Incentives (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): people tend to find what they are paid to find.
Biases & Blind Spots
Follow the Funding
Ch. 7, Big Sugar, and Ch. 8, Defending Sugar. Page not verified (Alfred A. Knopf, 2016).
Eat healthier; Drink more water / cut sugary drinks
02; 16
Plan: For the next month, before I act on any health claim, I will spend two minutes finding who funded the study behind it. I will keep a tally of how often I can find out at all.
funding, industry, bias, studies, research, conflict of interest, headlines, nutrition, sugar industry, sponsorship, who benefits, scepticism, science news, claims, evidence, lobbying, trust, disclosure, marketing, source
A headline says a food is fine, or deadly. You change what you eat. You never learn that the study was funded by people selling the answer.
For the next health claim you see, spend two minutes finding who funded it. If you cannot find out, treat the claim as unproven.
Ask who paid for the study and who gains from its conclusion. Industry money does not make a finding false. It makes a second look wise.
How Not to Die
Single Model
Michael Greger with Gene Stone
Not started
Have a plain test for 'processed', so labels and marketing stop deciding for me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greger gives a working definition of unprocessed food: nothing bad added, nothing good taken away. It turns a vague word into two questions that anyone can ask of a product. It also makes clear that not all processing is harmful. Cooking, freezing or tinning a vegetable may take away little or nothing, while refining a grain removes its most valuable part, and many packaged foods have salt, sugar or fat added. Likely to trip me up: deciding what counts as 'bad' and 'good' still takes some knowledge, and marketing is designed to blur it. Note: Greger advocates a fully plant-based diet, and critics say he selects studies that favour it. This particular test is a rule of thumb, not a research finding, though it fits the broad agreement that ultra-processed foods are worth limiting. (Source: How Not to Die, Part 2.)
Via Negativa (Antifragile, Nassim Nicholas Taleb): improve by taking the harmful thing out. Spotting Bad Science (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): a short checklist beats a vague impression.
Habits & Behavior Change
Nothing Bad Added, Nothing Good Taken Away
Part 2, introduction to Dr. Greger's Daily Dozen. Page not verified (Flatiron Books, 2015).
Eat healthier; Cut junk food / emotional eating
02; 19
Plan: On my next two shopping trips I will run the two-question test on anything in a packet before it goes in the basket, and note what I put back.
processed food, whole food, labels, ingredients, added sugar, salt, refined, fibre, shopping, packaged, marketing, test, definition, grains, juice, tinned, healthy eating, supermarket, additives, simple rule
'Processed' is a vague word. You cannot tell if tinned beans, oats, juice or brown bread are fine, so labels and marketing decide for you.
Pick three foods from your kitchen and run the test on each: what was added, and what was removed? Decide which pass.
A working test for processed food: was anything bad added, or anything good taken away? If neither, treat it as whole food.
How Not to Die
Single Model
Michael Greger with Gene Stone
Not started
Make water the drink that is in front of me, so sweet drinks need a decision.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Greger's checklist includes five large glasses of drink a day, with water, green tea and hibiscus tea as his preferred choices. He cites a large study of Seventh-day Adventists in which people who drank five or more glasses of water a day had about half the risk of dying from heart disease of those who drank two or fewer. Likely to trip me up: I drink what is in front of me, so the change has to be made to my surroundings, not to my intentions. Note: the Adventist finding is observational, and people who drink more water differ in many other ways. Bill Bryson's book points out that no fixed number of glasses has research behind it. The safest reading is substitution: trials of replacing sugary drinks with water show modest benefits for weight. People with heart or kidney conditions should follow their doctor's advice on fluids. (Source: How Not to Die, Part 2, 'Beverages'.)
The Eight-Glasses Myth (The Body, Bill Bryson): the opposing view on counting glasses. The 20-Second Rule (The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor): make the good choice the nearest one.
Habits & Behavior Change
Water as the Default Drink
Part 2, Dr. Greger's Daily Dozen, 'Beverages'. Page not verified (Flatiron Books, 2015).
Drink more water / cut sugary drinks; Eat healthier; Lose weight
16; 02; 08
Plan: I will keep a filled bottle on my desk and in my bag, and move sweet drinks out of sight at home. Water comes first each time. I will count sweet drinks per week before and after.
water, default, sugary drinks, soda, juice, tea, green tea, hydration, bottle, substitution, environment, replace, cola, sweet coffee, thirst, habit, desk, calories, drinks, five glasses
You drink what is in front of you: fizzy drinks, juice, sweet coffee. You do not decide to drink sugar. It is simply what is there.
Put a filled water bottle where your sweet drink usually sits. Today, water comes first. If you still want the other drink after, have it.
Make water or unsweetened tea your automatic drink. Greger's target is five large glasses a day. The bigger win is what it replaces.
The Effective Executive
Single Model
Peter F. Drucker
Not started
Spend more of my effort where I am already strong, and stop judging people by what they cannot do.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Drucker says results are produced by strengths, and that strong people always have strong weaknesses: where there are peaks there are valleys. So the effective person fills jobs, and plans their own work, by asking what someone can do very well, not what they cannot do. He tells of Lincoln, warned that General Grant drank. Lincoln is said to have replied that if he knew the brand he would send a barrel to his other generals. He had chosen the general who won battles. Drucker applies the same question to your boss and to yourself: find out how you work best and build on it. Likely to trip me up: the wish for well-rounded people, myself included. Note: Drucker wrote from observation, not experiments, and research on strengths-based development is mixed. Some weaknesses cannot be made irrelevant and have to be fixed. (Source: The Effective Executive, Ch. 4.)
Specific Knowledge (The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, Eric Jorgenson): build on what comes naturally to you. Circle of Competence (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charlie Munger): know where your edge is, and stay there.
Systems & Strategy
Make Strength Productive
Ch. 4, Making Strength Productive. Starts on p. 71 (HarperBusiness paperback, from the publisher's contents listing).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised
17; 13
Plan: I will write down the one or two things I do better than most people around me and move one extra hour a week onto them. I will also name one weakness I can hand off or design around.
strengths, weaknesses, talent, hiring, delegation, well-rounded, career, focus, team, self-knowledge, performance, development, grant, lincoln, fit, role, best work, energy, improvement, advantage
You spend your energy repairing what you are bad at and judging others by what they cannot do. Everyone ends up mediocre at everything.
Write the one thing you do better than most people around you. Find a way this week to spend an extra hour on it, and hand off one weak spot.
Results come from building on strengths, yours and other people's. Nobody is strong in many areas. Make weakness irrelevant where you can.
Difficult Conversations
Single Model
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen
Not started
Stop turning my hurt into their motive.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors describe two mistakes. The first is assuming we know what the other person intended. We work it out from the impact on us, we tend to assume the worst, and we judge ourselves far more kindly than we judge them. The second mistake comes when we are accused: we think our good intentions wipe out the bad impact, so we defend our motives and never acknowledge the hurt. Their method is to separate three things: what the person actually did, what the impact was on me, and what I am assuming about their intent. Hold the assumption as a guess, share the impact, and ask. Likely to trip me up: when I am hurt, my assumption about their motive feels like a plain fact. Note: from the Harvard Negotiation Project. A framework, not a tested treatment. It fits well-known research on how differently we explain our own and other people's behaviour. (Source: Difficult Conversations, Ch. 3.)
Hanlon's Razor (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): carelessness explains more than malice. Master My Stories (Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and co-authors): the story comes between the event and the feeling.
People & Communication
Intent Is Not Impact
Ch. 3, Don't Assume They Meant It: Disentangle Intent from Impact. Starts on p. 44 (Viking hardcover, 1999, from the publisher's contents listing).
Improve relationships / communicate; Stop overthinking / rumination; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 15; 12
Plan: When something stings, I will say it in three parts: what you did, the effect it had on me, and 'I do not know what you intended'. When I am the one accused, I will hear the hurt first and explain my intentions second.
intent, impact, assumptions, motives, hurt, accusation, mind reading, defensiveness, misunderstanding, texts, tone, blame, good intentions, apology, conflict, partner, colleague, benefit of the doubt, offence, clarify
'You did that to embarrass me.' You have turned your hurt into their motive. They defend their good intentions, you feel unheard, and both of you are right.
Say it in three parts: what you did, the effect it had on me, and 'I do not know what you intended.' Then ask.
You know how their action hurt you. You do not know what they intended. We judge ourselves by intent and others by impact. Separate them.
Difficult Conversations
Single Model
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen
Not started
See all three layers of a hard conversation before I walk into it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say every difficult conversation is really three. The 'what happened?' conversation is the argument over who is right, who meant what, and who is to blame. The feelings conversation asks what each person feels and whether those feelings are valid and should be voiced. The identity conversation is the one we have with ourselves about what this says about us: am I competent, am I a good person, am I worthy of love? Feelings that are not expressed leak into the talk anyway, and a shaken identity knocks us off balance. Their overall shift is from delivering a message to having a learning conversation. Likely to trip me up: I stay on the 'what happened' layer, since arguing about facts feels safer than the other two. Note: from the Harvard Negotiation Project, built on the authors' teaching and consulting. A framework, not a tested treatment. (Source: Difficult Conversations, Ch. 1.)
Observation, Feeling, Need, Request (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): another map with a feelings layer. Name the Feeling (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): unnamed feelings run the conversation.
People & Communication
The Three Conversations
Ch. 1, Sort Out the Three Conversations. Starts on p. 3 (Viking hardcover, 1999, from the publisher's contents listing).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 14; 12
Plan: Before each hard talk I will write three lines for myself: what I think happened, what I feel, and what I fear it says about me. Then I will guess the same three for the other person.
difficult conversations, feelings, identity, what happened, blame, layers, preparation, conflict, self-image, emotions, argument, facts, partner, boss, family, learning conversation, hurt, competence, understanding, hard talk
You argue about the facts for an hour and get nowhere. The real heat comes from hurt feelings and a bruised sense of who you are, which nobody mentions.
Before your next hard talk, write three lines: what I think happened, what I feel about it, and what I fear it says about me.
Every hard conversation is three at once: what happened, what we each feel, and what this says about me. Trouble hides in the two you skip.
Crucial Conversations
Single Model
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
Not started
Stop choosing between saying the truth and keeping the relationship.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say that under stress we come to believe we face two bad options: be honest and hurt the relationship, or keep the peace and swallow the problem. They call this the fool's choice, and say skilled people refuse it. The first step is to refocus on what you really want: for yourself, for the other person and for the relationship. Then ask how you would behave if you really wanted those results. Finally, look for the 'and': state what you want, state what you do not want, and ask how you could get the first without the second. Likely to trip me up: the authors say that when we feel threatened our motives slide without our noticing, from solving the problem to winning, punishing or keeping the peace. Note: the authors are corporate trainers, and the book rests on their field observation, not on trials. (Source: Crucial Conversations, Ch. 3.)
The Graceful No (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): firm on the matter, warm to the person. Observation, Feeling, Need, Request (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): a format for honesty that does not attack.
People & Communication
Refuse the Fool's Choice
Ch. 3, Start with Heart: How to Stay Focused on What You Really Want, section 'Second, Refuse the Fool's Choice'. Page not verified (McGraw-Hill, 2nd edition, 2012).
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 12
Plan: Before each hard conversation I will write one sentence in the form 'I want to ... and I also want to ...', and then one way I could get both. I will read it again if I feel myself heating up.
honesty, keeping the peace, candour, kindness, conflict, avoidance, either or, false choice, speaking up, motives, what i want, respect, truth, relationships, confrontation, feedback, stress, winning, both and, courage
You think your options are to blurt out the truth and damage the relationship, or to stay silent and resent it. You pick one, and lose either way.
Before a hard talk, finish this sentence: 'I want to ... and I also want to ...' Then ask yourself how you could get both.
We think we must choose between honesty and keeping the peace. That is a fool's choice. Ask how to do both: be candid and keep respect.
Getting to Yes
Single Model
Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton
Not started
Ask why before I argue about what.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors tell of two men quarrelling in a library. One wants the window open and the other wants it shut. The librarian asks each why. One wants fresh air, and the other wants to avoid a draught. She opens a window in the next room. A position is something you have decided on. Your interests are what caused you to decide. Behind opposed positions lie shared and compatible interests as well as conflicting ones. To find them, ask 'why?' and 'why not?'. The authors say the most powerful interests are basic human needs: security, economic wellbeing, belonging, recognition and control over one's life. Likely to trip me up: a position is concrete and easy to defend, while stating an interest means revealing something. Note: from the Harvard Negotiation Project. A framework built from practice, not a tested treatment. (Source: Getting to Yes, Ch. 3.)
Talk About What They Want (How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie): start from their interest. Your Feelings Come From Your Needs (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): under each demand is a need.
People & Communication
Interests, Not Positions
Part II, The Method, Ch. 3, Focus on Interests, Not Positions. Page not verified (Penguin, 3rd edition, 2011).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: For each standing disagreement I will ask 'what is that for?' of my own demand and of theirs, write both answers, and look for one option that serves both before I defend my position.
interests, positions, negotiation, why, needs, compromise, deadlock, demands, win-win, conflict, underlying, motives, salary, family, agreement, asking why, shared interests, bargaining, flexibility, understanding
You demand X, they demand Y, and you split the difference or deadlock. Nobody asked why, so the deal that would have suited you both is never found.
For one standing disagreement, ask 'what is that for?' of your own demand and of theirs. Write both answers, and look for an option that serves both.
A position is what someone says they want. An interest is why they want it. Clashing positions often hide interests that can both be met.
Crucial Conversations
Single Model
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
Not started
Catch the story I tell myself before it sets my mood and my behaviour.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors describe a path to action with four steps: we see and hear something, we tell ourselves a story about it, the story produces a feeling, and we act on the feeling. Other people do not make us angry. The story does, and it forms in an instant. They name three 'clever stories' that let us off the hook. The victim story: it is not my fault. The villain story: it is all your fault. The helpless story: there is nothing else I can do. Their remedy is to retrace the path back to the facts and to tell the rest of the story, with three questions. What am I pretending not to notice about my own part? Why would a reasonable, decent person do what they did? What should I do now to move towards what I really want? Likely to trip me up: the story arrives so fast that it feels like a fact. Note: from corporate trainers, but this one matches well-supported research on reinterpreting events to change emotion. (Source: Crucial Conversations, Ch. 6.)
It Is Your Judgement, Not the Event (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius): the same insight, from a Stoic. Hanlon's Razor (The Great Mental Models Vol. 1, Shane Parrish and Rhiannon Beaubien): look for the innocent explanation first.
Mindset & Emotions
Master My Stories
Ch. 6, Master My Stories: How to Stay in Dialogue When You're Angry, Scared, or Hurt. Page not verified (McGraw-Hill, 2nd edition, 2012).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve relationships / communicate; Stop overthinking / rumination
12; 25; 15
Plan: When I feel a surge of anger at someone, I will write two columns: what I saw and heard, and the story I added. Then I will write one other story that fits the same facts before I respond.
stories, anger, interpretation, facts, victim, villain, helpless, assumptions, emotions, blame, reappraisal, conflict, resentment, jumping to conclusions, colleague, partner, reaction, self-justification, calm, perspective
'He did that to undermine me.' You are furious before you have checked a single fact, and your anger then produces the very reaction you feared.
When you feel a surge of anger at someone, write two columns: what I saw and heard, and the story I told. Then write one other story that fits.
Between what you see and what you feel, you tell yourself a story. Victim, villain and helpless stories excuse you. Return to the facts.
Super Thinking
Single Model
Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann
Not started
Test the rough version before I spend effort on polish.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors borrow the idea from computer science, where tuning code too early wastes effort on parts that are later thrown away. They join it to two related models. De-risking: write down the assumptions your plan rests on and test them in the real world as early as you can. And the minimum viable product: put out the smallest version that lets you learn from real users. Together they say: find out if it is the right thing before you make it a good thing. Likely to trip me up: polishing feels productive, and it puts off the moment of being judged. Note: the book is a catalogue of some three hundred models collected from many fields by a technology founder and a statistician. Each gets a page or two, so treat it as an index. This one is an engineering rule of thumb, not a research finding. (Source: Super Thinking, Ch. 1.)
Perfectionism Is Fear in Fancy Shoes (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): polish as a hiding place. The Law of Financial Viability (So Good They Can't Ignore You, Cal Newport): let reality vote before you invest more.
Productivity & Focus
Premature Optimization
Ch. 1, Being Wrong Less. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus
27; 13; 07
Plan: For each project I will write its riskiest assumption and the cheapest way to test it. I will not work on design, naming or tooling until that test is done.
premature optimisation, perfectionism, polish, mvp, testing, assumptions, de-risking, launch, prototype, rough draft, procrastination, tools, logo, overengineering, feedback, experiments, shipping, validation, side project, details
You spend weeks perfecting the logo, the template, the first chapter or the system. Then you find nobody wanted it, or the plan changes anyway.
Pick the project you are polishing. Name its riskiest assumption. Design the cheapest test of it, and run that before you polish further.
Do not polish something before you know it is the right thing. Test the rough version against reality first, then improve what survives.
Super Thinking
Single Model
Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann
Not started
Keep my tracked numbers honest, so that hitting the number still means what I wanted it to mean.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors present a rule named after an economist: when a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure. Once people are rewarded for a number, they find ways to move the number that do not serve the purpose behind it. They set it beside perverse incentives and the 'cobra effect': a colonial government is said to have paid a bounty for dead cobras, and people began breeding cobras to collect it. Their advice is to be careful when tying rewards to anything measurable, since unintended behaviour is likely. It applies just as well to the targets we set ourselves. Likely to trip me up: numbers are concrete and purposes are vague, so the number quietly takes over. Note: widely observed in economics and management. The cobra story is an illustration and may be apocryphal. (Source: Super Thinking, Ch. 2.)
Keep Score (Superforecasting, Philip Tetlock and Dan Gardner): the case for measuring, which this model keeps honest. Incentives (Same as Ever, Morgan Housel): people do what they are rewarded for.
Systems & Strategy
Goodhart's Law
Ch. 2, Anything That Can Go Wrong, Will. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Lose weight; Be more productive / organised; Exercise / move daily
08; 13; 01
Plan: For each number I track, I will write its purpose beside it, list one way to hit it while failing the purpose, and add a second measure that would expose that. I will review the pairs monthly.
goodhart, metrics, targets, measurement, gaming, scale, step count, streaks, views, kpi, incentives, cobra effect, numbers, purpose, tracking, vanity metrics, cheating, goals, proxy, unintended
You chase the number: the scale, the step count, the streak, the views. You hit it by means that miss the point, like skipping water before a weigh-in.
Take one number you track. Write the purpose behind it. List one way to hit the number while failing the purpose, and add a second measure.
When a measure becomes a target, it stops being a good measure. People, you included, start serving the number and lose the purpose.
Seeking Wisdom
Single Model
Peter Bevelin
Not started
Before I scale anything up, find what breaks first.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Bevelin lists three mistakes under this heading. We fail to consider that changes in size or time alter form, function and behaviour. We fail to consider breakpoints, critical thresholds and limits. And we fail to consider constraints: a system performs only as well as its weakest link. He draws his cases from physics and biology, where a change in size changes how a thing has to be built, and from business, where what suits a small firm fails in a large one. Likely to trip me up: I think in straight lines, so ten times the input feels like ten times the result. Note: Bevelin is an investor who collected and organised ideas from Munger, Buffett, Darwin and many scientists. The book is a synthesis of other people's thinking, not original research. The underlying ideas here are standard science and engineering. (Source: Seeking Wisdom, Part Three.)
The Minimum Effective Dose (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): past a threshold, more adds nothing or does harm. Fragile, Robust, Antifragile (Antifragile, Nassim Nicholas Taleb): stress helps only up to a point.
Systems & Strategy
Scale and Limits
Part Three, The Physics and Mathematics of Misjudgments, section 2, 'Scale and limits'. Page not verified (3rd edition, 2007).
Exercise / move daily; Be more productive / organised; Save money / spend less
01; 13; 03
Plan: For each thing I intend to increase, such as training load, output or spending, I will write what would break at double the size and what my weakest link is. I will strengthen that link before I scale.
scale, limits, thresholds, breaking point, weakest link, constraints, growth, bottleneck, doubling, nonlinear, overtraining, capacity, size, tipping point, systems, expansion, overload, critical mass, linear thinking, bottlenecks
A routine, budget or side project worked at a small size, so you assume ten times more will work ten times as well. It breaks somewhere you did not look.
Take one thing you plan to scale up: training, output, spending. Ask what breaks first at double the size, and what your weakest link is.
When size or time changes, behaviour changes. What works small may fail big. Look for thresholds, breaking points and the weakest link.
Seeking Wisdom
Single Model
Peter Bevelin
Not started
Stop reading meaning into chance events, and stop acting on 'signs'.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Bevelin says we underestimate the fact that surprising and improbable events happen somewhere, some time, to someone, whenever there are enough opportunities. With millions of people living millions of moments, a one-in-a-million event happens many times a day. He adds two more errors. We look for meaning and make up patterns for chance events, most of all when they touch our feelings. And we ignore the cases where the cause or the effect was absent: all the times we thought of a friend and the phone did not ring. Likely to trip me up: the brain is built to find patterns, and an emotional coincidence feels like a message. Note: a synthesis by an investor, not original research. The point is standard probability. (Source: Seeking Wisdom, Part Three.)
Survivorship Bias (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): we see the hits and not the misses. Noise and Signal (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): most short-run variation means nothing.
Biases & Blind Spots
Coincidences and Miracles
Part Three, The Physics and Mathematics of Misjudgments, section 7, 'Coincidences and miracles'. Page not verified (3rd edition, 2007).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Build emergency fund / invest
15; 20
Plan: When a coincidence feels meaningful, I will write down how many chances there were for something like it to happen, and how many near-misses I never noticed. I will make no decision on the strength of a coincidence.
coincidence, chance, luck, signs, patterns, randomness, probability, miracles, superstition, meaning, large numbers, omens, hot tip, prediction, streaks, fate, intuition, gambling, noise, rare events
Someone you were thinking of calls. A tip comes true. A stranger's success story matches your dream exactly. You read it as a sign, and act on it.
Next time a coincidence feels meaningful, ask: how many chances were there for something like this to happen, to anyone, that I would have noticed?
Given enough people and enough time, unlikely things happen every day. A striking coincidence needs no special cause and proves nothing.
Getting to Yes
Single Model
Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton
Not started
Settle money and fairness questions by an outside standard, not by who pushes harder.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors argue that settling differences by will, where one side simply has to give in, is costly to the relationship and produces poor agreements. The alternative is to agree first on a standard that is independent of either side's wishes. Fair standards include market value, replacement cost, precedent, expert judgement and equal treatment. Fair procedures include 'one cuts, the other chooses', taking turns, and letting a third party decide. They advise framing each issue as a joint search for the right standard, staying open to reason, and never yielding to pressure, only to principle. Likely to trip me up: each side tends to bring the standard that happens to favour it. That still narrows the argument, but it does not end it. Note: from the Harvard Negotiation Project. A framework built from practice, not a tested treatment. (Source: Getting to Yes, Ch. 5.)
What Seems Fair? (Misbehaving, Richard H. Thaler): people judge deals by fairness. Anchoring (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): an outside standard is a defence against their first number.
Decision-Making & Risk
Insist on Objective Criteria
Part II, The Method, Ch. 5, Insist on Using Objective Criteria. Page not verified (Penguin, 3rd edition, 2011).
Improve relationships / communicate; Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less
25; 22; 03
Plan: Before any negotiation over price, pay or shares of work, I will find two outside standards, and I will open by asking how we should decide what is fair.
objective criteria, fairness, standards, market value, precedent, negotiation, salary, rent, price, pressure, principle, expert, procedure, one cuts one chooses, haggling, reason, benchmark, dispute, shares, legitimacy
It comes down to who wants it more or who shouts longer. Whoever gives in feels beaten, and the result has nothing to do with what is fair.
Before your next negotiation over money, find two outside standards, such as what others pay. Open with 'how should we decide what is fair?'
Settle differences by a standard outside either side's will: market value, precedent, expert view, a fair procedure. Yield to reason only.
Super Thinking
Single Model
Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann
Not started
Make my most important problem the thing my mind goes to when it is free.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors take this model from an essay by a well-known programmer and investor. At any time, he says, there is one idea your thoughts drift towards when they are free to drift. That idea gets the benefit of your background thinking, which is where many insights come from. You can have only one. He names two things that tend to seize the top spot and are useless there: disputes and money worries. The authors tie it to their advice against multitasking: choose the one activity that matters most and make it the top idea in your mind. Likely to trip me up: I cannot order my mind where to drift. I can only control what I let in, and an argument or an inbox gets in easily. Note: an essayist's observation, not a finding, though it fits research on incubation and mind-wandering. (Source: Super Thinking, Ch. 3.)
Attention Is Psychic Energy (Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi): where attention goes, the self follows. Drop (Incubation) (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): the background mind works on what you loaded into it.
Productivity & Focus
Top Idea in Your Mind
Ch. 3, Spend Your Time Wisely. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Beat procrastination / focus; Limit multitasking / context-switching; Stop overthinking / rumination
07; 28; 15
Plan: For two weeks I will note where my mind goes in the shower and on walks. If something else is sitting there, I will either deal with it or write it down to park it, and re-read my main problem last thing at night.
top idea, focus, shower thoughts, background thinking, distraction, worry, arguments, money worries, priority, mind wandering, insight, multitasking, attention, main project, inbox, rumination, deep work, incubation, idle mind, one thing
Your idle thoughts are taken by an argument, a money worry or your inbox. Your most important project gets the scheduled hours and never the free ones.
Notice where your mind goes in the shower tomorrow. If it is not your most important problem, find what is sitting there and deal with it or park it.
Your mind drifts to one idea when it is free, in the shower or on a walk. That idea gets your best thinking. Choose it on purpose.
Getting to Yes
Single Model
Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton
Not started
Keep disagreements about the issue, and deal with feelings as a separate matter.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors start from the fact that negotiators are people first, with emotions, values and different views of the same facts. Every negotiator has two interests: the substance and the relationship. The two get tangled, so that a comment about the issue is heard as an attack on the person. Their advice is to handle people problems directly, under three headings. Perception: put yourself in their shoes, and do not deduce their intentions from your fears. Emotion: let them let off steam, and acknowledge feelings as legitimate. Communication: listen actively, and speak about yourself, not about them. Then face the problem side by side. Likely to trip me up: being angry at the person feels like making progress on the issue. Note: from the Harvard Negotiation Project. A framework built from practice and widely taught, not a tested treatment. Critics say it assumes more calm than people have under pressure. (Source: Getting to Yes, Ch. 2.)
Complain, Do Not Criticise (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): address the act, not the character. You Can't Win an Argument (How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie): beating the person loses the point.
People & Communication
Separate the People from the Problem
Part II, The Method, Ch. 2, Separate the People from the Problem. Page not verified (Penguin, 3rd edition, 2011).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Manage stress / anxiety
25; 14; 12
Plan: In my next disagreement I will write the problem on paper, sit beside the other person and not opposite, and keep pointing at the paper. If feelings rise, I will stop and deal with them directly before going back.
negotiation, conflict, relationship, problem, emotions, personal attack, side by side, perception, listening, argument, disagreement, rent, chores, workplace, blame, substance, respect, steam, family, dispute
The dispute about rent, workload or chores turns into a dispute about who is unreasonable. You attack each other, and the actual problem is untouched.
In your next disagreement, sit side by side with the problem written on paper in front of you both. Talk to the paper.
Every negotiation has two tracks: the substance and the relationship. Handle each directly. Be soft on the people, hard on the problem.
Seeking Wisdom
Single Model
Peter Bevelin
Not started
Put honest odds on my multi-step plans, and protect the weakest step.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Bevelin says we overestimate the probability of scenarios in which every one of a series of steps must succeed, and we underestimate the number of ways things can fail and what normally happens in similar cases. The arithmetic is simple. Five steps that each have an 80 percent chance give about a one in three chance of the whole plan working. He adds that systems with many parts can fail in one way or another, that longer time spans raise the odds of failure, and that we should add a factor of safety whose size depends on how bad failure would be and how well we understand the risks. Likely to trip me up: every step feels likely, and a detailed story feels more probable than a vague one, when each added detail makes it less so. Note: a synthesis by an investor, not original research. The mathematics is standard, and it matches well-known research on how people misjudge combined probabilities. (Source: Seeking Wisdom, Part Three.)
The Planning Fallacy (take the Outside View) (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): ask how such plans usually go. Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): the safety margin.
Decision-Making & Risk
Every Step Must Work
Part Three, The Physics and Mathematics of Misjudgments, section 6, 'Scenarios'. Page not verified (3rd edition, 2007).
Be more productive / organised; Build emergency fund / invest; Learn a skill / upskill
13; 20; 17
Plan: For any plan with more than three steps, I will write a chance of success next to each step, multiply them, and add a backup for the step with the lowest chance.
probability, plans, steps, chain, multiply, scenarios, overconfidence, failure, safety margin, backup, project, launch, odds, conjunction, risk, weakest step, planning, optimism, contingency, dependencies
Your plan reads well: five sensible steps, each likely to work. You feel 80 percent sure of the whole. The true odds are closer to one in three.
Write the steps your plan depends on. Put an honest chance on each and multiply them. Then find the weakest step and add a backup for it.
A plan that needs many steps to all succeed is far less likely than it feels. Multiply the chances of each step, and add a safety margin.
Difficult Conversations
Single Model
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen
Not started
Open hard conversations in a way the other person can agree with from the first sentence.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say every difficult conversation has at least three stories: mine, yours, and the one a keen observer with no stake in it would tell. Most of us open from inside our own story, which the other person hears as an accusation, and that sets off their defence of their own identity. Mediators begin from the third story, and we can too without a mediator. The first step is to describe the problem as a difference between our two views, in words both sides would accept. The second is to extend an invitation: say what you hope to achieve and ask the other person to join you as a partner in working it out. Likely to trip me up: my own story feels like the plain truth, so a neutral version feels like giving ground. Note: from the Harvard Negotiation Project. A framework, not a tested treatment. (Source: Difficult Conversations, Ch. 8.)
STATE My Path (Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and co-authors): another way to open without a verdict. The Outsider Test (The Scout Mindset, Julia Galef): look at your situation as a stranger would.
People & Communication
Begin from the Third Story
Ch. 8, Getting Started: Begin from the Third Story. Page not verified (Viking, 1999).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: For each hard talk I will write my opening as a neutral mediator would put it: a description of the difference between us with no judgement of either side, followed by an invitation to sort it out together.
third story, opening line, neutral, mediator, observer, accusation, invitation, hard conversation, defensiveness, framing, difference, partner, start, conflict, perspective, impartial, first sentence, joint problem, disagreement, tone
Your first sentence is your verdict: 'We need to talk about your attitude.' They hear an attack, put up the shields, and the talk is over before it starts.
Write how a neutral mediator would describe your disagreement in one sentence, with no judgement of either side. Use that as your opening line.
Do not open a hard talk from inside your own story, which sounds like an accusation. Open as a neutral observer would describe it.
Difficult Conversations
Single Model
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen
Not started
Hold a picture of myself that can take criticism without cracking.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say hard conversations shake us by threatening one of three core questions: am I competent, am I a good person, am I worthy of love? If my identity is all-or-nothing, any criticism forces a choice between denial, where I throw out the feedback to stay 'good', and exaggeration, where one mistake makes me worthless. Their remedy is to make the self-image more complex. They call it the And Stance: I am a caring person and I hurt someone. I am good at my job and I got this wrong. They list three things to accept in advance: I will make mistakes, my intentions are mixed, and I have contributed to the problem. Likely to trip me up: the jolt to my identity is fast and physical, and it arrives before I can think. Note: from the Harvard Negotiation Project. A framework, not a tested treatment. (Source: Difficult Conversations, Ch. 6.)
Failure Is an Event, Not an Identity (Mindset, Carol Dweck): one result does not define you. Shame vs Guilt (Daring Greatly, Brené Brown): 'I did something bad', not 'I am bad'.
Mindset & Emotions
The And Stance
Ch. 6, Ground Your Identity: Ask Yourself What's at Stake. Starts on p. 111 (Viking hardcover, 1999, from the publisher's contents listing). The 'And Stance' is first introduced in Ch. 2.
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve relationships / communicate; Improve mental health / be happier
27; 25; 04
Plan: I will write three 'and' sentences about myself, each joining a strength with a recent failing. I will read them before feedback sessions and note if I hear more of what is said.
identity, criticism, feedback, self-image, all or nothing, defensiveness, mistakes, self-worth, competence, denial, shame, and stance, complexity, balance, perfectionism, resilience, accepting, inner critic, hearing feedback, ego
One criticism and you swing between 'I am fine, they are wrong' and 'I am useless'. Either way you cannot hear the feedback, since too much is at stake.
Write one sentence about yourself with 'and' in the middle: 'I am a caring parent and I lost my temper.' Read it before your next feedback.
Hard talks threaten how you see yourself: competent, good, lovable. All-or-nothing identities are brittle. I am good and I made a mistake.
Super Thinking
Single Model
Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann
Not started
Check if I am at the best place available, or only the best place nearby.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors take the model from mathematics. A local optimum is the best solution close to where you are. The global optimum is the best solution overall. A search that only ever moves uphill gets stuck on the nearest hill. To reach a higher peak it has to accept getting worse for a while. They advise trying to understand what the global optimum looks like in any system you are part of, and favouring decisions that move you towards it. Likely to trip me up: the dip is certain and the mountain is a guess, so staying put always looks sensible. Note: a metaphor from the mathematics of optimisation. It is useful for asking the question. It is not evidence that a better peak exists in any particular case. (Source: Super Thinking, Ch. 6.)
The OK Plateau (Moonwalking with Einstein, Joshua Foer): good enough stops improvement. Learn to Drop Your Tools (Range, David Epstein): what got you here can hold you here.
Decision-Making & Risk
Local and Global Optimum
Ch. 6, Decisions, Decisions. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Be more productive / organised
17; 27; 13
Plan: For work, health and money I will write where I am, name one clearly higher peak, and describe the dip I would have to cross to reach it. I will run one cheap test of the path before deciding anything.
local optimum, global optimum, plateau, stuck, good enough, career change, comfort zone, dip, hill climbing, trade-off, risk, better path, settle, improvement, restart, switching, method, potential, short-term loss, peak
Your job, routine or method is decent, and every small change makes it worse. So you stay, and never learn if something far better is reachable.
Ask of one area of life: am I at the best spot, or only the best spot nearby? Name one bigger hill, and the dip you would have to cross.
You can stand on top of a small hill and miss the mountain next to it. Reaching the higher peak means going downhill first, for a while.
Getting to Yes
Single Model
Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton
Not started
Never walk into a negotiation needing a yes.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say a fixed bottom line protects you but is rigid and usually set arbitrarily. A better measure is your best alternative to a negotiated agreement, or BATNA: what you will do if no deal is reached. It is the standard any offer should be measured against. They say that the relative power of two sides depends mainly on how attractive to each is the option of not reaching agreement. So the work is done before the meeting: list what you could do if talks fail, turn the most promising ideas into real alternatives, and pick the best. Consider the other side's alternative as well. Likely to trip me up: the authors warn that we see our many possible alternatives as one rosy total, when we can take only one of them. Note: from the Harvard Negotiation Project. One of the most widely used ideas in negotiation teaching. A framework, not a tested treatment. (Source: Getting to Yes, Ch. 6.)
Optionality (Antifragile, Nassim Nicholas Taleb): alternatives are what let you say no. Career Capital (So Good They Can't Ignore You, Cal Newport): rare skills are what give you alternatives.
Decision-Making & Risk
BATNA
Part III, Yes, But..., Ch. 6, What If They Are More Powerful? (Develop Your BATNA). Page not verified (Penguin, 3rd edition, 2011).
Build emergency fund / invest; Learn a skill / upskill; Improve relationships / communicate
20; 17; 25
Plan: Before each negotiation I will write what I will actually do if there is no deal, and spend an hour making that alternative more real, with one more quote, application or contact.
batna, alternatives, negotiation, leverage, walk away, salary, job offer, rent, power, bottom line, desperation, options, preparation, quotes, bargaining, no deal, confidence, fallback, plan b, client
You walk into the salary talk, the rent renewal or the client meeting needing a yes. They can feel it. You accept terms you would once have refused.
For your next negotiation, write what you will actually do if there is no deal. Then spend one hour making that alternative more real.
Your power in a negotiation is your best alternative if no deal is reached. Know it, improve it, and never accept a deal worse than it.
Getting to Yes
Single Model
Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton
Not started
Widen the options before we start choosing between them.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors name four obstacles to good options: judging too early, searching for the single answer, assuming the pie is fixed, and thinking that solving their problem is their problem. Their prescriptions follow. Separate the act of inventing from the act of deciding. Broaden the options on the table. Look for mutual gain, by finding shared interests and by dovetailing different ones. Their picture of this is two people fighting over an orange, where one wanted the peel and the other the juice. Finally, make the other side's decision easy. Likely to trip me up: judgement kills imagination, and each side fears that floating an idea means committing to it. Note: from the Harvard Negotiation Project. A framework built from practice. Research on brainstorming suggests listing ideas alone first and sharing them after. (Source: Getting to Yes, Ch. 4.)
Quantity Breeds Quality (Originals, Adam Grant): more options, better best option. New combinations (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): a good deal is a new combination of what each side has.
People & Communication
Invent Options for Mutual Gain
Part II, The Method, Ch. 4, Invent Options for Mutual Gain. Page not verified (Penguin, 3rd edition, 2011).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised
25; 13
Plan: In my next negotiation at home or at work, I will propose ten minutes of listing options with two rules: nobody criticises and nobody commits. We will judge the list only afterwards.
options, brainstorm, mutual gain, win-win, fixed pie, negotiation, creativity, trades, dovetail, compromise, inventing, judging, orange, agreement, alternatives, problem solving, partner, deal, expand, choices
You treat the argument as one pie to be cut. Every idea gets shot down as it is spoken, since each side fears that inventing means committing.
With the other person, set ten minutes to list options together where nobody may criticise or commit. Pick the promising ones only afterwards.
Before deciding, widen the choices. Separate inventing from judging, and look for trades where what is cheap for you is valuable to them.
Crucial Conversations
Single Model
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
Not started
Notice the moment a conversation turns unsafe, and fix that before going on with the topic.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say that in a heated conversation we watch the content and miss the conditions. People who feel unsafe stop contributing honestly and move to one of two patterns. Silence: masking with sarcasm or sugar-coating, avoiding the subject, or withdrawing. Violence: controlling the conversation, labelling people, or attacking. Either is a sign that safety is gone, not that the person is difficult. Their advice is to step out of the content, restore safety by showing that you share a purpose and respect the person, and only then step back in. One tool is contrasting: say what you do not mean, then what you do mean. Likely to trip me up: I read the other person's silence or aggression as the problem, when it is a signal. Note: the authors are corporate trainers, and this rests on their field observation, not on trials. (Source: Crucial Conversations, Ch. 4 and Ch. 5.)
The Emotional Hijack (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): the threat system takes over. Label the Emotion (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): naming what you see lowers the heat.
People & Communication
Silence or Violence
Ch. 4, Learn to Look: How to Notice When Safety Is at Risk. The repair is in Ch. 5, Make It Safe. Page not verified (McGraw-Hill, 2nd edition, 2012).
Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety; Spend time with family/friends
25; 12; 14
Plan: I will learn my own pattern under stress, silence or violence, by looking back at my last five arguments. In the next tense talk I will watch for the first sign, stop the topic, and say what I do and do not intend.
safety, silence, violence, sarcasm, withdrawing, attacking, labelling, arguments, defensiveness, conflict, stonewalling, shouting, tension, mutual respect, contrasting, stress style, heated, shutting down, control, signals
You are so deep in the content of the argument that you miss the moment it turned. By the time you notice, one of you is sulking and the other is shouting.
In your next tense talk, watch for the first sign of silence or violence, in them or in you. When you see it, pause the topic and say what you do want.
People who feel unsafe in a talk go silent (mask, avoid, withdraw) or violent (control, label, attack). Spot it, and restore safety first.
Crucial Conversations
Single Model
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
Not started
Open hard topics with facts and a question, and keep my conclusion for later.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors give five steps under the word STATE. Share your facts, since facts are the least controversial and most persuasive place to begin. Tell your story, meaning the conclusion you are starting to draw. Ask for the other person's path, their facts and their story. Talk tentatively: 'I am beginning to wonder if', not 'the fact is'. Encourage testing: invite the opposite view and mean it. The first three are what to do, and the last two are how to do it. Likely to trip me up: the authors say that the more strongly we believe we are right, the harder we push, and the harder we push, the more others resist. Note: the authors are corporate trainers, and the method rests on their field observation. It is close to the format taught in Nonviolent Communication. (Source: Crucial Conversations, Ch. 7.)
Observation, Feeling, Need, Request (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): observation before evaluation. The Artful Critique (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): be specific and offer a way forward.
People & Communication
STATE My Path
Ch. 7, STATE My Path: How to Speak Persuasively, Not Abrasively. Page not verified (McGraw-Hill, 2nd edition, 2012).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: For each hard conversation I will script the first three sentences: two facts, then 'I am starting to think ...', then 'How do you see it?' I will say them in that order and then listen.
feedback, hard conversation, facts first, tentative, persuasion, confrontation, speaking up, criticism, script, opening line, ask, conclusions, defensiveness, boss, partner, difficult topic, candour, humility, testing, state
You open with your conclusion: 'You do not respect my time.' They defend themselves, and you never reach the facts that led you there.
Script your opening for one hard conversation: two facts, then 'I am starting to think ...', then 'How do you see it?' Say it in that order.
To raise a hard topic: Share your facts, Tell your story, Ask for theirs, Talk tentatively, Encourage testing. Facts first, verdict last.
Crucial Conversations
Single Model
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
Not started
In tense talks, get everyone's information out before anyone decides.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors say each of us comes to a conversation with a private pool of opinions, feelings and experience. People who are skilled at dialogue make it safe for everyone to add to a shared pool, including ideas that are unpopular or seem wrong. A bigger shared pool gives two things. Decisions are better, since they rest on more information. And they are carried out, since people act on decisions they understand and helped to shape. When people do not feel safe adding to the pool, they fall back on silence or on forcing their view. Likely to trip me up: time pressure, and the feeling that I already know what they will say. Note: the authors are corporate trainers. Their claims rest on their own observation of skilled communicators in companies, not on peer-reviewed trials. (Source: Crucial Conversations, Ch. 2.)
Listen as if They Know Something You Don't (12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson): assume they hold a piece you lack. The Braintrust (Creativity, Inc., Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace): a room built so that candid views get aired.
People & Communication
The Pool of Shared Meaning
Ch. 2, Mastering Crucial Conversations: The Power of Dialogue. Page not verified (McGraw-Hill, 2nd edition, 2012). The 3rd edition renumbers the chapters.
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Be more productive / organised
25; 14; 13
Plan: In my next three tense discussions, I will spend the first ten minutes only drawing out the other person's full view, and sum it up back to them, before I add mine.
dialogue, shared meaning, meetings, decisions, speaking up, candour, information, buy-in, commitment, listening, silence, team, family decisions, disagreement, open discussion, safety, consensus, holding back, input, conversation
In the meeting that matters, people hold back what they know or force their view through. The decision rests on half the facts, and half the room quietly ignores it.
In your next tense discussion, make it your only job for ten minutes to get the other person's full view into the open before adding yours.
Good decisions need everyone's information in the open. Dialogue fills a shared pool of meaning, and people act on what they helped fill.
Super Thinking
Single Model
Gabriel Weinberg and Lauren McCann
Not started
Give my important-but-not-urgent tasks a fixed event that forces them to happen.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors define a forcing function as a pre-scheduled event that helps you take a desired action. Their examples come from work: a regular one-to-one meeting forces feedback conversations that would otherwise be put off, and a standing review forces a team to look at its numbers. They place the model among ideas borrowed from physics about inertia. Things at rest stay at rest, and a forcing function is a way to overcome that without needing fresh willpower each time. It works the same way in private life: a booked trainer, a class, a weekly review. Likely to trip me up: a forcing function decays into an empty ritual if nobody prepares for it, or gets cancelled 'just this once'. Note: a management rule of thumb, not a research finding. It is close to the well-supported idea of planning when and where you will act. (Source: Super Thinking, Ch. 4.)
Action Triggers (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): let the situation start the act. The Weekly Review (Getting Things Done, David Allen): the best-known personal forcing function.
Habits & Behavior Change
Forcing Functions
Ch. 4, Becoming One with Nature. Page not verified (Portfolio/Penguin, 2019).
Be more productive / organised; Exercise / move daily; Save money / spend less
13; 01; 03
Plan: I will pick the two things I postpone most and attach each to a recurring booked event with another person involved, such as a monthly money review with a friend. I will keep each for three months before judging it.
forcing function, deadline, appointment, scheduled, recurring, review, accountability, inertia, trainer, class, meeting, important not urgent, calendar, commitment, routine, procrastination, standing meeting, partner, budget review, booked
The important-but-not-urgent thing has no deadline, so it never happens. You keep meaning to review your money, your goals or your health.
Pick one thing you keep postponing. Book a recurring slot for it with another person attached: a review with a friend, a class, a standing call.
A forcing function is an event fixed in advance that makes you act: a weekly review, a booked trainer, a demo date. Schedule it first.
Seeking Wisdom
Single Model
Peter Bevelin
Not started
Stop deciding every request and purchase from scratch, by setting a few filters in advance.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Bevelin says filters help us prioritise and work out what makes sense. The question to ask is which few critical and knowable factors cause what we want to achieve or avoid. The criteria should rest on evidence, be as few as possible, and be ranked, so the most important is applied first. He calls elimination a great conservator of effort: rule out early what could cause great sorrow, what is not important or knowable, and what lies outside our competence. Acting by rules, filters and checklists set in advance, he says, often makes more sense than acting on emotion. Likely to trip me up: Bevelin warns against too many rules applied without thinking. We must still understand what we are trying to achieve. Note: a synthesis of how investors such as Munger and Buffett screen decisions, not research. (Source: Seeking Wisdom, Part Four.)
The 90 Percent Rule (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): one tough criterion, applied strictly. Spotting Bad Science (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): a ready-made filter list for health claims.
Decision-Making & Risk
Rules and Filters
Part Four, Guidelines to Better Thinking, section 4, 'Rules and filters'. Page not verified (3rd edition, 2007).
Be more productive / organised; Reduce debt / control spending; Limit multitasking / context-switching
13; 22; 28
Plan: For the two kinds of decision I face most often, I will write three filters each, in order of importance. For a month I will run every case through them first and note how many fail at filter one.
filters, rules, criteria, checklist, decisions, elimination, screening, priorities, requests, saying no, purchases, consistency, emotion, shortlist, standards, quick decisions, avoid, simplify, judgement, selection
You weigh every opportunity, request and purchase from scratch, in whatever mood you are in. It is exhausting, and your choices are inconsistent.
For one kind of decision you face often, write three filters in order of importance. Run your next case through them before anything else.
Decide your few key criteria in advance and use them as filters, most important first. Most options fail the first one, which saves effort.
Seeking Wisdom
Single Model
Peter Bevelin
Not started
Judge each use of my time and money against the best other use, not against nothing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Bevelin offers personal opportunity cost as a filter for comparing choices. Our time and money are limited. Deciding to do one thing is deciding not to do some other available thing. Every minute spent on one thing is unavailable for anything else, and every unit of money invested is unavailable for other investments. The cost of using a limited resource is the value of its best alternative use. He adds that decisions are not equally important: one that will shape our life ten years from now matters far more than one that affects only today. Likely to trip me up: the alternative is invisible. Nobody sends a bill for the thing I did not do. Note: a synthesis, not research. Opportunity cost is a basic idea from economics, which Bevelin illustrates with how Munger and Buffett compare investments. (Source: Seeking Wisdom, Part Four.)
Trade-Offs (Which Problem Do I Want?) (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): every yes is a no to something. The Cost Is Measured in Life (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): what an activity costs is the life you trade for it.
Decision-Making & Risk
Opportunity Cost
Part Four, Guidelines to Better Thinking, section 6, 'Alternatives'. Page not verified (3rd edition, 2007).
Be more productive / organised; Save money / spend less; Cut phone / social-media use
13; 03; 06
Plan: Before I agree to any new commitment or non-essential purchase, I will name the best other use of the same hours or money. I will keep a list for a month of what I chose and what I gave up.
opportunity cost, alternatives, trade-offs, time, money, choices, priorities, saying yes, commitments, comparison, best use, limited resources, scrolling, investing, spending, value, decision, hours, what else, hidden cost
You judge each use of your time or money by itself: 'is this worth doing?' Almost everything passes that test, and your best options get crowded out.
Before you say yes to anything today, name the best other use of that same hour or that same money. Say yes only if this one wins.
Every choice costs you the best alternative you gave up. Time and money spent here cannot be spent there. Compare options with each other.
Difficult Conversations
Single Model
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen
Not started
Replace the hunt for who is at fault with a map of how we each fed the problem.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the authors separate blame from contribution. Blame asks who caused this, whether they were wrong, and how they should be punished. It judges, and it looks backwards. Contribution asks how each of us helped to bring this about and what we can change. It seeks understanding, and it looks forwards. When blame is in the air, people defend themselves and hide information, so nobody learns why the problem happened. They list contributions that are easy to miss: avoiding the issue until now, being hard to approach, differences in style that collide, and unspoken assumptions about roles. They are clear that contribution is not the same as equal shares, and is not a way of blaming a victim. Likely to trip me up: admitting my part feels like accepting all of the blame. Note: from the Harvard Negotiation Project. A framework, not a tested treatment. (Source: Difficult Conversations, Ch. 4.)
Fault Is Not Responsibility (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson): who caused it and who acts next are separate questions. The After Action Report (Can't Hurt Me, David Goggins): review what happened in order to improve.
People & Communication
Contribution, Not Blame
Ch. 4, Abandon Blame: Map the Contribution System. Starts on p. 58 (Viking hardcover, 1999, from the publisher's contents listing).
Improve relationships / communicate; Be more productive / organised; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
25; 13; 27
Plan: For one recurring problem, I will write what each person contributed, starting with me and including what I avoided saying. I will open the conversation by naming my own part.
blame, contribution, fault, responsibility, learning, defensiveness, recurring problem, team, couple, post-mortem, avoidance, roles, system, accountability, finger pointing, punishment, understanding, mistakes, forward looking, joint
Something went wrong and the hunt for the guilty party begins. Everyone defends, nobody explains, and the same thing happens again next quarter.
For one recurring problem, write what each person contributed, starting with yourself. Include what you avoided saying. Open with your part.
Blame asks who is at fault and looks back. Contribution asks how we each helped create this, and looks forward. Blame blocks learning.
Mini Habits
Single Model
Stephen Guise
Not started
Keep my daily minimum honest and small, so that one bad day cannot break the habit.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Guise gives eight rules, and most of them protect the smallness. Never cheat, by which he means never secretly expect more of yourself than the stated minimum. Be happy with all progress. If you feel strong resistance, back off and go smaller. Never think a step is too small. And put extra energy into bonus repetitions, not into a bigger requirement. His reasoning is that the minimum is what gets done on the worst day, so it is what keeps the chain alive. Likely to trip me up: ambition dressed up as progress. One push-up goes well, so I start to 'really' expect twenty. Note: Guise's own experience. James Clear gives different advice, which is to scale a habit up once it is established. Both agree that the start must stay easy. (Source: Mini Habits, Part 7.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): Clear warns the small version can become a ceiling, and Guise answers that the floor should never move. Emotions Create Habits (Celebrate at Once) (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): feel good about the minimum.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Floor Stays Low
Part 7, Eight Mini Habit Rules. Page not verified (self-published, 2013).
Exercise / move daily; Beat procrastination / focus; Read / learn more
01; 07; 09
Plan: I will write my mini requirement on a card where I can see it. I will log two things each day: minimum done, and anything extra. I will not raise the minimum for at least two months.
minimum, bonus reps, requirement, consistency, bad days, floor, ceiling, cheating, expectations, streak, small, habit chain, ambition, pressure, progress, extra, rules, tiny, sustainable, overreach
One push-up went well, so now you 'really' expect twenty. The tiny habit has become a big one in disguise, and on the first bad day you miss it.
Write your mini requirement where you can see it. Do as much extra as you like today, then remind yourself that only the minimum was owed.
Never quietly raise the daily minimum. Do more whenever you like, as a bonus. The requirement stays tiny, so a bad day cannot break it.
Mini Habits
Single Model
Stephen Guise
Not started
Stop making my habits depend on how I feel that day.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Guise argues that 'getting motivated' is an unreliable strategy. Motivation is a feeling, feelings change with sleep, mood and events, and enthusiasm for any behaviour fades as it becomes routine. If the plan only works when I feel like it, it fails on the days that matter. His alternative is to rely on forcing a very small action, which can be done in any mood, and to let the feeling follow the action. Likely to trip me up: on a good day a big plan feels easy, which tempts me to raise the requirement for all the bad days too. Note: the practical point matches a well-tested therapy method, in which people act first and mood improves afterwards. Guise's supporting science is weak. This part of the book leans on the claim that willpower is a fuel that runs down with blood sugar, which has largely failed to replicate. (Source: Mini Habits, Part 3.)
Action Comes Before Motivation (Feeling Good, David Burns): the same point from cognitive therapy. Turning Pro (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): the professional shows up whatever the mood.
Habits & Behavior Change
Do Not Wait for Motivation
Part 3, Motivation vs. Willpower. Page not verified (self-published, 2013).
Beat procrastination / focus; Exercise / move daily; Be more productive / organised
07; 01; 13
Plan: For each habit I will define the version I could do while tired, busy and in a bad mood, and treat that as the requirement. On low days I will do only that, and count it as a full success.
motivation, willpower, mood, feelings, bad day, consistency, discipline, enthusiasm, tired, lazy, waiting, inspiration, routine, low energy, reliable, habits, show up, start, force, minimum
You wait until you feel like it. Some weeks you never do. When enthusiasm fades, as it always does, the habit goes with it.
Decide the smallest version of your habit that you could do while tired, busy and in a bad mood. Make that your daily requirement.
Motivation is a feeling, and feelings come and go. Build habits on a small act you can make yourself do on your worst day.
So Good They Can't Ignore You
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Stop judging my work by whether it matches a passion I was supposed to have found already.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport starts with a famous speech urging graduates to find what they love, and shows that the speaker's own path was nothing like that: he drifted into the business that made his name. Newport cites a survey in which most students' passions were hobbies with no link to work. He cites research showing that whether people see their work as a job, a career or a calling depends most on how long they have been doing it. And he draws on motivation research: autonomy, competence and connection produce engagement, and none of them requires a pre-existing passion. He calls the passion idea dangerous, since it breeds job-hopping and constant self-doubt. Likely to trip me up: 'follow your passion' is everywhere and sounds kind. Note: an argument from interviews and selected studies, all observational. Some people do have an early calling. (Source: So Good They Can't Ignore You, Rule #1.)
Interest Is Developed, Not Found (Grit, Angela Duckworth): passion grows out of practice. Curiosity Over Passion (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): follow small interests, not a grand calling.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Passion Hypothesis
Rule #1, Don't Follow Your Passion (Ch. 1 to Ch. 3). Page not verified (Business Plus, 2012).
Learn a skill / upskill; Improve mental health / be happier
17; 04
Plan: I will list what my current work could teach me that is rare and useful, and what I already like in it. When the 'is this my calling?' question comes up, I will swap it for 'what am I getting good at?'
passion, career, calling, job satisfaction, dream job, follow your passion, purpose, job hopping, doubt, work, meaning, fulfilment, graduates, motivation, mastery, autonomy, vocation, anxiety, choosing a career, love your work
You keep asking 'what am I truly passionate about?' and no job measures up. You hop or stew, waiting for a calling that does not arrive.
List what you like about your current work and what rare skills it could build. Ask what you can offer the world, not what it offers you.
The belief that you must first find your passion and then a job to match it. Newport argues it is mostly false, and makes people anxious.
Mini Habits
Single Model
Stephen Guise
Not started
Check that the habits I am working on are mine, and not borrowed from other people's expectations.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: step two of Guise's plan is what he calls the why drill. Take a habit you think you want and ask why. Then ask why of the answer, and keep going until the answers start to circle back on themselves. At that point you have reached the root. He says honest answers are the whole point, and that the habits worth building grow out of your own values, not out of peer pressure or what others expect of you. Likely to trip me up: giving the respectable answer and not the true one. Note: this is a version of the 'five whys' used in problem solving. It is a reflective exercise, not a finding, though it fits research showing that people stick longer with goals they hold for their own reasons. (Source: Mini Habits, Part 6.)
Choose What to Care About (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson): pick your values before your goals. The Goal Hierarchy (Grit, Angela Duckworth): small goals should serve one you truly hold.
Thinking & Reasoning
The Why Drill
Part 6, Mini Habits: Eight Small Steps to Big Change, Step 2. Page not verified (self-published, 2013).
Journal / self-reflect; Be more productive / organised
24; 13
Plan: I will run the why drill in writing on each habit on my current list. Any habit whose last answer is about pleasing or impressing someone else gets dropped or rewritten.
why, values, five whys, reasons, goals, authenticity, peer pressure, expectations, should, root cause, reflection, journal, priorities, habits, self-knowledge, honest, purpose, choosing habits, meaning, drill
Your list of habits came from other people: the internet, your parents, a colleague. You keep failing at them, partly since you never wanted them.
Take one habit you think you should have. Ask 'why?' five times in writing. If the last answer is about pleasing someone else, think again.
Before committing to a habit, ask why you want it, then ask why of each answer, until the answers circle. Keep habits whose root is yours.
Better Than Before
Single Model
Gretchen Rubin
Not started
Make a habit I avoid ride along with something I look forward to.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rubin's strategy of pairing couples two activities so that one happens only with the other. She watched certain programmes only on the treadmill. A friend let herself read magazines only at the gym. It is not a reward, she says, since nothing has to be earned. The two things simply go together. She adds that pairing works in reverse as well: many bad habits are pairs, such as always having a drink with a certain friend or always eating in front of the television, and they can be unpicked by separating the two. Likely to trip me up: cheating, by enjoying the treat alone just this once. Note: researchers call this temptation bundling. In a field study, people given gripping audiobooks that they could hear only at the gym went more often at first, though the effect faded after a holiday break. (Source: Better Than Before, 'Pairing'.)
Habit Stacking (Atomic Habits, James Clear): one act after another, where pairing is one act with another. Reimagine the Task (Find the Fun) (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): make the dull thing more engaging.
Habits & Behavior Change
Pairing
Section 'Desire, Ease, and Excuses', chapter 'Sitting Is the New Smoking: Pairing'. Page not verified (Crown, 2015).
Exercise / move daily; Read / learn more; Be more productive / organised
01; 09; 13
Plan: I will choose one podcast or series I enjoy and allow it only while walking or exercising. I will count my sessions for a month against the month before.
pairing, temptation bundling, podcast, treadmill, audiobook, gym, tv, chores, want and should, enjoyment, exercise, walking, combine, guilty pleasure, routine, motivation, commute, housework, bundling, habits
The exercise bike gathers dust while you watch your favourite series from the sofa. The thing you want and the thing you should do never meet.
Choose one treat you look forward to, such as a podcast or a show. From today, allow it only while you do one habit you keep skipping.
Tie something you want to do to something you ought to do, and allow the first only with the second: the podcast only while walking.
Antifragile
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Improve by taking harmful things out before I add any new fix.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb borrows the term from theology, where it meant describing something by what it is not. His claim is that negative knowledge is sturdier than positive knowledge. A thousand confirmations do not prove a rule, and one clear failure disproves it. So we know what harms more surely than we know what helps. His practical rule is to improve by subtraction, and to reduce the downside first. In medicine he stresses harm caused by treatment itself, and argues for intervening mainly when the illness is serious and the benefit large. He notes that giving up smoking does more good than almost anything one could add. Likely to trip me up: subtraction does not sell, and nobody gets credit for a harm that never happened. Note: a rule of thumb. The medical examples are Taleb's reading of the evidence, and he is not a doctor. Never stop a prescribed treatment on the strength of this. Talk to your doctor. (Source: Antifragile, Book VI.)
Inversion (Poor Charlie's Almanack, Charles T. Munger): ask what to avoid. Less but Better (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): remove the trivial many.
Thinking & Reasoning
Via Negativa
Book VI, Via Negativa: Ch. 20, Time and Fragility, and Ch. 21, Medicine, Convexity, and Opacity. Page not verified (Random House, 2012).
Eat healthier; Drink more water / cut sugary drinks; Cut phone / social-media use; Reduce debt / control spending
02; 16; 06; 22
Plan: Each month I will remove one thing: a sugary drink, an app, a recurring cost, a standing commitment. I will add no new tool or supplement for that problem until the removal has had two weeks to show its effect.
subtraction, remove, via negativa, less, harm, sugary drinks, soda, apps, debt, junk food, supplements, quick fix, simplify, avoid, downside, elimination, stop doing, clutter, intervention, smoking
Every problem sends you shopping for an addition: a supplement, an app, a course, a gadget. The things actually hurting you stay in place.
Name one thing to remove from your day, not add: a sugary drink, an app, a standing meeting, a cost. Remove it for two weeks before adding any fix.
We know more surely what harms than what helps. So improve by removing first: cut the harmful food, habit or debt before adding anything.
So Good They Can't Ignore You
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Time any move towards more freedom by what I can prove, not by how much I want it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport calls control over what you do and how you do it the dream-job elixir, and says it comes with two traps. The first: control gained without career capital does not last. He tells of someone who quit a secure job to open a studio after a short training course and ended up struggling to pay for food, and of bloggers who left jobs to 'design their lifestyle' with nothing to sell. The second trap comes later: once you are valuable enough to demand control, you are valuable enough that your employer will fight to keep things as they are. His example is a developer who had to push hard for a shorter week. Likely to trip me up: from the inside the two traps feel identical, since in both cases people are telling me not to do it. Note: illustrative stories, chosen to fit the argument. (Source: So Good They Can't Ignore You, Ch. 9 and Ch. 10.)
Keep a Balanced Risk Portfolio (Originals, Adam Grant): keep the day job while the new thing proves itself. Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): a buffer keeps you in the game.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Two Control Traps
Rule #3, Ch. 9, The First Control Trap, and Ch. 10, The Second Control Trap. Page not verified (Business Plus, 2012).
Learn a skill / upskill; Build emergency fund / invest; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 20; 27
Plan: Before any leap, I will write who would pay me, for what, and what proof I have. Where there is no proof, I will build it on the side first and review every three months.
control, autonomy, quitting, freedom, self-employment, leap, career capital, employer, resistance, timing, side project, risk, lifestyle design, promotion, courage, income, proof, independence, negotiation, trap
You dream of quitting to work for yourself, and picture the freedom, not the income. Or you are finally valuable, and every offer of 'more' ties you down further.
Before any leap towards more freedom, write down who would pay you, for what, and what proof you have. No proof yet? Build it on the side first.
Trap one: grabbing freedom before you have skills to fund it. Trap two: once you have the skills, others fight to keep you where you are.
Better Than Before
Single Model
Gretchen Rubin
Not started
Work out how I respond to expectations, so I stop copying habit systems built for a different kind of person.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rubin sorts people by how they respond to two kinds of expectation. Outer ones come from others, such as deadlines. Inner ones are promises to yourself. Upholders meet both. Questioners meet only what they find justified. Obligers meet outer expectations and struggle with inner ones. She says this is the largest group, and that they need outside accountability. Rebels resist both and act from choice and identity. Her point is that a method that suits one type can fail for another. Likely to trip me up: Rubin says we assume everyone is like us, so we keep prescribing ourselves what worked for someone else. Note: Rubin is a writer, not a researcher. The typology comes from her own observation. Her online quiz has many respondents, but it has not been validated in peer-reviewed research, and people do not sort cleanly into four boxes. Use it as a prompt, not a diagnosis. (Source: Better Than Before, 'The Four Tendencies'.)
Choose Someone to Watch You (Letters from a Stoic, Seneca): outside accountability, two thousand years early. Precommitment Pacts (Indistractable, Nir Eyal): ways to build the outer expectation you need.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Four Tendencies
Section 'Self-Knowledge', chapter 'The Fateful Tendencies We Bring into the World: The Four Tendencies'. Page not verified (Crown, 2015).
Be more productive / organised; Exercise / move daily; Beat procrastination / focus
13; 01; 07
Plan: I will look back at three habits that stuck and three that failed, and note for each who was expecting it of me. Then I will add the matching support to one current habit: a partner, a reason, or more freedom.
four tendencies, accountability, expectations, obliger, questioner, upholder, rebel, personality, habits, self-knowledge, deadlines, promises, discipline, partner, motivation, resolutions, follow through, types, inner expectations, outer expectations
You copy a habit system that worked for someone else, it fails, and you decide you lack discipline. It may have been built for a different kind of person.
Ask yourself: do I keep promises to others more easily than promises to myself? If yes, give one habit an outside deadline or a partner this week.
People differ in how they meet outer and inner expectations: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger or Rebel. Pick habit methods that fit your type.
So Good They Can't Ignore You
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Put my energy into the quality of what I produce, and stop auditing whether the work is 'the one'.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the book's title comes from a comedian's advice to newcomers: be so good they can't ignore you. Newport contrasts two mindsets. The passion mindset focuses on what the world can offer you. It makes you hyper-aware of what you dislike in your work, and it asks questions that cannot be answered, such as 'who am I?' The craftsman mindset focuses on what you can offer the world. It gives clarity: the job is to get better at something valuable. He says to adopt it whether or not you are sure the work is right. He names three cases where a job should be left: it offers no way to build rare skills, it does something you think is useless or harmful, or it forces you to work with people you really dislike. Likely to trip me up: it means putting my head down in work I have doubts about. Note: an argument from interviews, not research. (Source: So Good They Can't Ignore You, Ch. 4.)
Turning Pro (The War of Art, Steven Pressfield): show up and do the work. Deliberate Practice (Peak, Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool): how the getting-better is actually done.
Mindset & Emotions
The Craftsman Mindset
Rule #2, Ch. 4, The Clarity of the Craftsman. Page not verified (Business Plus, 2012).
Learn a skill / upskill; Be more productive / organised; Beat procrastination / focus
17; 13; 07
Plan: For one month I will track hours spent stretching a skill, and try to raise the number each week. I will park the question of whether this is the right work until the month is over.
craftsman, skill, quality, output, mindset, career, passion, focus, getting good, practice, value, contribution, work ethic, doubt, mastery, clarity, effort, improvement, job, craft
You spend your energy judging whether this job is 'the one'. Every flaw becomes evidence that it is not, and the work never gets your full effort.
For one week, drop the question 'is this right for me?' Track only the hours you spend stretching a skill, and try to raise the number.
The passion mindset asks what the world can offer you. The craftsman mindset asks what you can offer the world, and gets on with it.
Antifragile
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Find the fragile parts of my life and stop mistaking comfort for safety.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb points out that we have no everyday word for the opposite of fragile. 'Robust' only means unharmed. He uses three images from myth: a sword hanging by a hair (fragile), the phoenix that returns the same (robust), and the Hydra that grows two heads for each one cut off (antifragile). The body is his main example. Bones and muscles grow stronger under load and weaken without it, and small doses of some harmful things build tolerance. Systems that are shielded from all stress, he says, become weak and then fail badly. Likely to trip me up: removing every stress and surprise looks like safety. Note: a conceptual framework from a former options trader, not research. Getting stronger from small doses of stress is real biology, but the dose matters greatly and many stresses simply do harm. Critics say Taleb stretches one idea across too many fields. (Source: Antifragile, Ch. 1.)
Stress Is a Dose (Spark, John Ratey): the body's version of the idea. The Black Swan (The Black Swan, Nassim Taleb): the rare shocks that fragile things cannot survive.
Systems & Strategy
Fragile, Robust, Antifragile
Book I, Ch. 1, Between Damocles and Hydra. A scanned contents page puts the chapter start at p. 31, edition not stated, so treat the page as unverified (Random House, 2012).
Manage stress / anxiety; Exercise / move daily; Build emergency fund / invest
12; 01; 20
Plan: I will sort income, health, skills and relationships into fragile, robust or antifragile, and write how one realistic shock would hit each. I will work first on the one that a single shock could wreck.
antifragile, fragile, robust, resilience, shocks, stress, volatility, uncertainty, hormesis, comfort, safety, risk, strength, adversity, income, health, systems, disorder, growth, hydra
You try to make your life safe by removing every stress and surprise. It works until the first real shock, which finds you weaker than before.
Sort three parts of your life (income, health, skills) as fragile, robust or antifragile. For the most fragile, write how one shock would hit it.
Fragile things break under shocks. Robust things resist them. Antifragile things improve from them, up to a point. Know which you build.
Mini Habits
Single Model
Stephen Guise
Not started
Know when a habit is really established before I add another one on top.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: the last step in Guise's plan is to watch for signs that a behaviour has become a habit. His list: there is no resistance, so it feels easier to do it than to skip it. You identify with it, as in 'I am a reader'. You start without making a decision. You no longer worry about missing it. It feels normal. And it is a little boring, which he says is how good habits are supposed to feel. He warns against the idea that habits form in 21 or 30 days, and cites research in which the average was 66 days with a very wide spread. Likely to trip me up: three good weeks feel like proof, and I pile on four new habits at once. Note: the checklist is Guise's own. The 66-day figure comes from a well-known study of 96 people, where the range ran from 18 to 254 days. (Source: Mini Habits, Part 6.)
Selected Discipline (One Habit at a Time) (The ONE Thing, Gary Keller and Jay Papasan): build one before starting the next. Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): 'this is who I am' is one of the signs.
Habits & Behavior Change
Signs It Has Become a Habit
Part 6, Mini Habits: Eight Small Steps to Big Change, Step 8. Page not verified (self-published, 2013).
Be more productive / organised; Exercise / move daily
13; 01
Plan: Once a month I will check each current habit against the signs. I will add a new habit only when the existing ones pass, and I will expect that to take months, not weeks.
habit formation, automatic, 66 days, 21 days myth, identity, boring, resistance, signs, established, adding habits, patience, too many habits, overload, routine, mindless, normal, checkpoint, consolidation, pace, stacking
After three good weeks you declare the habit 'done' and pile on four new ones. All five collapse together.
Check one current habit against the signs: no resistance, no deciding, part of who I am, slightly boring. If any is missing, add nothing new yet.
A behaviour is a habit when resistance is gone, you start without deciding, it feels part of who you are, and it has become a bit boring.
Mini Habits
Single Model
Stephen Guise
Not started
Get one stalled habit moving by making the daily requirement too small to refuse.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Guise tells how, at the end of 2012, he could not make himself do a thirty-minute workout. He tried thinking of the opposite of a big goal and came up with one push-up. He did it, and then did a few more, and the 'one push-up challenge' became a daily habit that later grew into full workouts. He calls such targets 'stupid small': one push-up, fifty words, two pages. They cost almost no willpower, they succeed every day, and he found that once he had started he usually did more. Likely to trip me up: pride. The step feels beneath me, so I am tempted to skip it or to inflate it. Note: Guise is a blogger writing from his own experience. The approach matches BJ Fogg's research-based method and the therapy practice of starting with very small actions. (Source: Mini Habits, Part 1.)
Two-Minute Rule (Atomic Habits, James Clear): shrink the start. The Ability Chain (Tiny Habits, BJ Fogg): find the link that makes the act hard, and make it easier.
Habits & Behavior Change
Stupid Small
Part 1, Introduction to Mini Habits. Page not verified (self-published, 2013).
Exercise / move daily; Read / learn more; Beat procrastination / focus
01; 09; 07
Plan: I will pick one habit and set a requirement that sounds silly, such as one push-up or two pages. I will do it every day for a month and record whether I did the minimum or more.
mini habits, small steps, one push-up, tiny, start, exercise, reading, writing, willpower, resistance, consistency, daily, easy, momentum, lazy, overwhelmed, too small to fail, beginner, streak, procrastination
You plan a thirty-minute workout, feel no energy for it, and do nothing. The gap between the plan and your mood is too wide to cross.
Pick one habit you want. Cut the daily requirement until it sounds silly. Do it today, and stop there if you wish.
Set a daily requirement so small it sounds stupid: one push-up, fifty words, two pages. It is too small to fail, and it gets you started.
So Good They Can't Ignore You
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Use payment, not praise, as my test of whether a project can support me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: to tell the two control traps apart, Newport borrows a rule from an entrepreneur: do what people are willing to pay for. Money, he says, is a neutral indicator of value. If people will pay, or an employer will grant the change you ask for, you have enough career capital and should go ahead. If they will not, you do not have enough yet. The entrepreneur in question left his job only when his income from music had matched his salary. Newport applies the rule to employees too: a request for a sabbatical or a shorter week is tested by whether the employer says yes. Likely to trip me up: 'money is not everything' becomes an excuse to avoid the test. Note: a rule of thumb from one entrepreneur. It suits paid work. It is a poor test for things whose value is not commercial, such as art for its own sake or caring for others. (Source: So Good They Can't Ignore You, Ch. 11.)
Take the Idea out into the World (A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young): let reality test it. Test and Learn (Flirt with Your Possible Selves) (Range, David Epstein): small real trials beat planning.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Law of Financial Viability
Rule #3, Ch. 11, Avoiding the Control Traps. Page not verified (Business Plus, 2012).
Learn a skill / upskill; Build emergency fund / invest; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 20; 27
Plan: For my side project I will define the smallest thing a person could pay for and offer it to a handful of people within a month. I will record payments and ignore compliments.
money, validation, payment, side project, customers, value, praise, likes, proof, business idea, quitting, test, pricing, viability, income, freelancing, market, feedback, control, sales
Friends praise your idea and strangers 'like' it. You take that as proof. Praise is free, so it says little about whether the idea can support you.
For your side project, define the smallest thing someone could pay for. Offer it to five people this month. Count payments, not compliments.
When deciding whether to seek more control over your work, ask one thing: will people pay for it? Money is a neutral vote on your value.
Better Than Before
Single Model
Gretchen Rubin
Not started
Stop building my habits around end dates that give me permission to stop.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rubin is wary of rewards for three reasons. A reward teaches me that the activity is not worth doing for itself. It demands a decision each time: have I earned it? And, most dangerous of all, a reward or a goal creates a finish line. Once we cross it we stop, and starting again is harder than carrying on would have been. She points to people who train for a race and never run again, and dieters who reach the target weight and regain it. Her alternative is to find the reward inside the habit, and to give herself treats that are not tied to performance. Likely to trip me up: deadlines and targets are motivating, which is exactly why I reach for them. Note: Rubin's argument, drawing on the same research on rewards that Drive covers. The specific claim about finish lines is her observation, not a tested finding. (Source: Better Than Before, 'Reward'.)
Values Are Directions, Goals Are Destinations (The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris): a direction has no end point. If-Then Rewards Backfire (Drive, Daniel Pink): payment can drain the interest out.
Habits & Behavior Change
Beware the Finish Line
Section 'Desire, Ease, and Excuses', chapter 'No Finish Line: Reward'. Page not verified (Crown, 2015).
Exercise / move daily; Lose weight; Read / learn more
01; 08; 09
Plan: For any challenge or target with an end date, I will write down in advance what I will do the day after it. I will treat the date as a milestone and the day after as the real test.
finish line, goals, challenge, 30 days, marathon, diet, reward, stopping, restart, deadline, target weight, streak, milestone, motivation, after the goal, relapse, maintenance, lifelong, habit, quit
You trained for the race, dieted for the wedding, did the 30-day challenge. The day after, you stopped, and starting again was harder than the first time.
For any goal with an end date, write today what you will do the day after it. Make that the real plan, and the date just a milestone.
A finish line is a stopping point. Hit the goal, run the race, end the 30-day challenge, and the habit often ends too. Plan what follows.
Misbehaving
Single Model
Richard H. Thaler
Not started
Treat all my money the same, however it arrived, and stop chasing losses.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thaler noticed it at his regular poker game with colleagues. Players who were ahead treated their winnings as the house's money and took risks they would never take with their own. Players who were behind became drawn to long shots that could get them back to even, while avoiding bets that could deepen the hole. He later confirmed both patterns in experiments. In theory, money is money. In practice, people keep separate mental accounts, and money in the 'winnings' account is spent and gambled more freely. He links this to how investors behave late in a boom. Likely to trip me up: it does not feel like a bias. It feels like sensibly 'playing with profits'. Note: shown in laboratory gambles and in studies of game-show contestants and traders. The size of the effect varies. (Source: Misbehaving, Ch. 10.)
Mental Accounting (Nudge, Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): the wider habit this belongs to. Buzz and Brakes (Quiet, Susan Cain): some people speed up after a win or a loss.
Decision-Making & Risk
House Money
Part II, Ch. 10, At the Poker Table. Starts on p. 80 (W. W. Norton paperback, 2016; same pagination in the Allen Lane edition).
Build emergency fund / invest; Reduce debt / control spending; Save money / spend less
20; 22; 03
Plan: Any windfall goes into my main account for a week before I decide anything. After a loss, I will make no new risky move for a week, and I will write down what I would do if I were starting fresh.
house money, windfall, bonus, tax refund, winnings, gambling, break even, chasing losses, mental accounting, risk, investing, trading, lottery, splurge, profits, casino, poker, doubling down, lucky, savings
A bonus, a refund or a lucky trade gets blown on things your salary never would. After a bad run, you double up to 'get back to even'.
Next time money arrives unexpectedly, move it into your main account and wait a week. Then decide as if you had earned it hour by hour.
Money you have just won feels like the casino's, so you gamble it freely. After losses, you chase risky bets to get back to even.
So Good They Can't Ignore You
Single Model
Cal Newport
Not started
Know what I hold that is rare and valuable, and build more of it on purpose.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Newport observes that the traits that make work great, such as creativity, impact and control, are rare and valuable. By simple supply and demand, if you want them you need something rare and valuable to offer in return. He calls those skills career capital, and says the craftsman mindset is how you build it. He profiles a television writer and a venture capitalist who both focused on getting good and not on finding a calling. One of them tracked every hour of his day to keep his time on the work that mattered. Likely to trip me up: impatience, since this takes years. Note: a useful economic metaphor, not a measured quantity. Labour markets also reward luck, connections and background, which the book says little about. (Source: So Good They Can't Ignore You, Ch. 5.)
Specific Knowledge (The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, Eric Jorgenson): what cannot be trained is what cannot be replaced. The Three Steps of Apprenticeship (Mastery, Robert Greene): the years of building it.
Systems & Strategy
Career Capital
Rule #2, Ch. 5, The Power of Career Capital. Page not verified (Business Plus, 2012).
Learn a skill / upskill; Build emergency fund / invest
17; 20
Plan: I will write down the skills I have that are both rare and valuable to someone who pays. I will choose one to deepen this quarter, with a weekly block of stretching practice and honest feedback.
career capital, skills, rare and valuable, leverage, negotiation, autonomy, job market, expertise, patience, investment, career, bargaining power, experience, reputation, value, craft, growth, salary, freedom, trade
You want autonomy, meaning and good pay now, and feel cheated that your job gives none. You have not yet built anything rare to trade for them.
Write down the skills you have that are both rare and valuable to someone who pays. If the list is short, pick one to deepen this quarter.
Great jobs offer rare things: creativity, impact, control. To get them you must offer rare and valuable skills in return. That is capital.
Misbehaving
Single Model
Richard H. Thaler
Not started
Judge what I own, hold and do by whether I would choose it again today.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thaler began by collecting odd behaviour among his fellow economists. One would not sell a bottle from his cellar for a hundred dollars, and would never pay more than thirty-five for the same bottle. Later, with two colleagues, he gave coffee mugs to half the students in a class and let them trade. Owners asked about twice what buyers were willing to pay, and few mugs changed hands. Once something is ours, giving it up counts as a loss, and losses weigh more than gains. He notes that this is why free trials and money-back guarantees work so well for sellers. Likely to trip me up: the feeling of ownership arrives fast, sometimes after only a trial. Note: one of the most studied effects in behavioural economics, and it holds up well in the laboratory. It weakens among experienced traders and for goods held only to resell. (Source: Misbehaving, Ch. 2 and Ch. 16.)
Loss Aversion (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): the engine behind it. Uncommit (Cut Your Losses) (Essentialism, Greg McKeown): ask what you would pay to get it if you did not have it.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Endowment Effect
Part I, Ch. 2, The Endowment Effect, starts on p. 12. The experiments are in Part IV, Ch. 16, Mugs, which starts on p. 148 (W. W. Norton paperback, 2016).
Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending; Be more productive / organised
03; 22; 13
Plan: Once a month I will pick five things I own, subscribe to or am committed to, and ask if I would take each on today at its current cost. I will let go of at least one that fails.
endowment effect, ownership, clutter, selling, loss aversion, free trial, subscriptions, possessions, declutter, portfolio, attachment, value, status quo, keep, let go, commitments, mugs, pricing, returns, inertia
Your cupboards, portfolio and calendar are full of things you would never choose today. You keep them, since giving them up feels like a loss.
Pick five things you own. For each ask: 'If I did not have this, would I buy it today at this price?' Sell or give away one that fails.
We value a thing more once it is ours. People demand about twice as much to give up an object as they would pay to get the same one.
Better Than Before
Single Model
Gretchen Rubin
Not started
Catch the reasonable-sounding excuses that quietly end my habits.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rubin lists ten loopholes. Moral licensing: I have been good, so I have earned this. Tomorrow: I will start properly tomorrow. False choice: I cannot exercise since I am too busy working. Lack of control: I cannot help it. Arranging to fail: putting myself in temptation's way. This does not count: I am on holiday, I am ill, it is the weekend. Questionable assumption. Concern for others: it would be rude to refuse. Fake self-actualisation: you only live once. And the one-coin loophole: what difference does one make? She calls the last one the most dangerous, since it is true of any single time and false of the total. Likely to trip me up: a loophole arrives in the moment and sounds perfectly reasonable. Note: a catalogue from Rubin's own observation. Moral licensing has been studied, though recent analyses suggest the effect is smaller than first reported. (Source: Better Than Before, 'Loophole-Spotting'.)
The Inner Lawyer (The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt): the mind argues for what it already wants. Cope Without Fooling Yourself (The Scout Mindset, Julia Galef): comfort that does not need a false story.
Biases & Blind Spots
Loophole-Spotting
Section 'Desire, Ease, and Excuses', chapter 'Nothing Stays in Vegas: Loophole-Spotting'. Page not verified (Crown, 2015).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Exercise / move daily; Reduce debt / control spending
19; 01; 22
Plan: For two weeks, each time I skip a habit I will write down the exact excuse and give it one of Rubin's labels. At the end I will see which loophole I use most and write a rule against it.
excuses, loopholes, rationalisation, moral licensing, tomorrow, cheat, exception, just this once, holiday, self-deception, habits, skipping, diet, spending, yolo, one coin, earned it, justification, relapse, slip
You never decide to quit your good habit. You just grant yourself one reasonable exception after another, and a month later the habit is gone.
Next time you are about to skip a habit, say the excuse out loud and give it a label: 'that is the tomorrow loophole'. Then decide.
We rarely drop a habit outright. We use a loophole: 'I earned it', 'tomorrow', 'this does not count'. Name the loophole and it loses force.
Misbehaving
Single Model
Richard H. Thaler
Not started
Stop letting the pleasure of a deal pass itself off as the value of the thing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thaler splits the satisfaction of buying into two parts. Acquisition utility is what the thing is worth to you, minus what you paid. Transaction utility is how the price compares with what you expected to pay: the quality of the deal. His test case is a cold beer on a beach. People say they would pay far more for the same beer if a friend fetched it from a smart hotel than from a shabby shop, though they would drink it in the same spot. Sellers work on the second kind of pleasure with 'suggested' prices and permanent sales. He tells of a department store that dropped its fake sales for honest low prices, and lost customers. Likely to trip me up: a discount feels like money earned. Note: based on surveys and market cases, by a Nobel laureate. Widely accepted. (Source: Misbehaving, Ch. 7.)
Anchoring (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): the 'was' price is an anchor. Epicurus's Shopping List (The Consolations of Philosophy, Alain de Botton): ask what you were really after.
Decision-Making & Risk
Transaction Utility
Part II, Ch. 7, Bargains and Rip-Offs. Starts on p. 57 (W. W. Norton paperback, 2016; same pagination in the Allen Lane edition).
Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending
03; 22
Plan: For one month, before buying anything on sale, I will hide the old price and ask if I would pay the asking amount with no sale on. I will keep a list of what I walked away from.
bargain, sale, discount, deal, shopping, impulse buying, reference price, coupons, black friday, saving, spending, value, regret, unused, retail, offers, thrill, rip-off, price, need
It was 60 percent off, so you bought it. The 'saving' felt like income. The item sits unused, and the money is gone all the same.
Before buying anything on sale, cover the old price and the discount. Ask: 'Would I pay this amount for this item if there were no sale?'
A purchase gives two pleasures: from the thing itself, and from the deal. The thrill of a bargain makes us buy things we do not need.
Better Than Before
Single Model
Gretchen Rubin
Not started
Find out, temptation by temptation, if 'none' is easier for me than 'a little'.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Rubin quotes Samuel Johnson, who said that abstinence was as easy for him as temperance would be difficult. She says people split into two camps. Abstainers find it far easier to have none: there is no decision to make and no bargaining. Moderators get rebellious when told 'never', and do better with an occasional treat. Each camp lectures the other. For abstainers, she says, giving something up entirely frees mental energy, since every 'just this once' is a decision. Likely to trip me up: other people push 'just have one', and 'everything in moderation' sounds like the mature answer. Note: Rubin's own distinction, not a research finding. It fits studies showing that avoiding temptation works better than resisting it. Strict food rules can backfire for anyone prone to disordered eating, and with alcohol or nicotine dependence the choice is a medical one. (Source: Better Than Before, 'Abstaining'.)
Eat the Same Few Meals (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): fewer decisions, fewer slips. Self-Control Is a Setup, Not a Struggle (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): avoid the fight, do not win it.
Habits & Behavior Change
Abstainers and Moderators
Section 'Desire, Ease, and Excuses', chapter 'Free from French Fries: Abstaining'. Page not verified (Crown, 2015).
Cut junk food / emotional eating; Drink less alcohol; Cut phone / social-media use
19; 11; 06
Plan: I will pick one temptation where moderation keeps failing and try complete abstinence for two weeks. I will note how much daily bargaining with myself goes away.
abstaining, moderation, temptation, sugar, junk food, alcohol, all or nothing, bargaining, willpower, cravings, rules, quit, cold turkey, treats, snacks, phone, decisions, self-knowledge, never, just one
'Everything in moderation' is the advice you keep getting. For you, one biscuit means the packet, and each day is a new negotiation that you lose.
Pick one temptation. Ask: is 'none' easier for me than 'a little'? If yes, try none for two weeks and notice how much inner bargaining disappears.
Some people do better giving a temptation up entirely. Others do better with a little now and then. Know which you are for each temptation.
Misbehaving
Single Model
Richard H. Thaler
Not started
Use honest framing on purpose, on myself and others, and stop assuming presentation does not matter.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Thaler tells of his first exams as a young professor. The average score was 72 out of 100 and the students were furious, though grades were curved and nobody was worse off. For the next exam he made the total 137 points. The average came out at 96 points, which is about 70 percent, and the students were delighted. Nothing real had changed. He calls such things supposedly irrelevant factors: details that the rational agents of economic theory would ignore, and that real people do not. The rest of the book shows that they shift behaviour in predictable ways. Likely to trip me up: I assume I am the exception who sees through the framing. Note: Thaler won the Nobel Prize in economics for this body of work. The exam story is an anecdote. The framing effects behind it are among the best replicated in the field. (Source: Misbehaving, Ch. 1.)
Choice Architecture (Nudge, Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): how options are laid out changes what is chosen. Anchoring (Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman): an irrelevant number pulls the estimate.
Biases & Blind Spots
Supposedly Irrelevant Factors
Part I, Ch. 1, Supposedly Irrelevant Factors. Starts on p. 3 (W. W. Norton paperback, 2016; same pagination in the Allen Lane edition).
Be more productive / organised; Save money / spend less
13; 03
Plan: I will take the numbers I report to myself, such as savings, study hours and output, and try two honest framings of each for a fortnight. I will keep whichever keeps me going.
framing, irrelevant factors, presentation, numbers, scores, perception, rational, behavioural economics, targets, reporting, motivation, percentages, context, pricing, messaging, feelings, design, nudges, exam, reference point
You design a plan, a price or a message as if people, you included, will weigh it logically. Then a trivial detail of presentation sinks it.
Take one number you report to yourself or others: a score, a budget, a target. Reframe it another honest way, and see which version motivates better.
Things a rational person would ignore, such as how a number is framed, often decide what real people feel and do. Thaler calls them SIFs.
Antifragile
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Tilt my reading and my tools towards things that have already lasted.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb separates things that age, like people and cats, from things that do not, like ideas, books and technologies. For the first kind, every extra day lived means fewer days left. For the second kind it runs the other way: a book that has been in print for forty years can be expected to stay in print for about another forty, and if it lasts ten more, another fifty. Time, he says, is the best filter of fragility, since whatever has survived has been tested by everything that happened. He advises reading older books and trusting long-lived tools over new ones, and names the love of novelty for its own sake as a modern disease. Likely to trip me up: newness is exciting and wins attention. Note: a rule of thumb, named after a New York deli where actors traded such sayings. It is a statistical tendency, not a law, and says nothing certain about any single book. What survives is also a selected sample. (Source: Antifragile, Ch. 20.)
Linger with a Few Great Minds (Letters from a Stoic, Seneca): the same reading advice, itself two thousand years old. Survivorship Bias (Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Taleb): the caution, since survivors are a selected sample.
Thinking & Reasoning
The Lindy Effect
Book VI, Ch. 20, Time and Fragility. Page not verified (Random House, 2012).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 17
Plan: For every new book I read, I will read one that has been in print for fifty years or more. Before adopting a new tool or method, I will ask how long it, or its kind, has already survived.
lindy effect, old books, classics, longevity, time test, new, novelty, reading list, tools, technology, durable, fads, trends, survival, filter, tradition, wisdom, neomania, lasting, selection
Your reading list and toolkit are whatever launched this year. Most of it will be forgotten in five years, and you keep starting over.
For your next book, choose one that has been in print for fifty years or more. For your next tool or method, ask how long it has already lasted.
For things that do not age like bodies, such as books, ideas and tools, each year survived raises the expected years left. Old is a filter.
Antifragile
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Stop trying to predict the one right path, and collect cheap options instead.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb retells an old story about the philosopher Thales. Tired of being mocked for his poverty, he paid a small deposit for the right to use every olive press in the region for the coming season. The harvest turned out to be large, demand for presses soared, and he rented them out on his own terms. He did not need to forecast the harvest precisely. He had a small, known cost and a large, open gain. Taleb calls this optionality and says it is a substitute for intelligence: with enough cheap options, you only need the sense to recognise a good outcome when it arrives. He argues that trial and error with the freedom to keep what works has driven more progress than planning. Likely to trip me up: options cost something, and most expire unused, which feels like failing. Note: an idea from finance. Taleb's wider claim that tinkering, not science, drives most innovation is contested by historians of technology. (Source: Antifragile, Ch. 12.)
Test and Learn (Flirt with Your Possible Selves) (Range, David Epstein): small trials beat grand plans. Make Your Decisions Nonreversible (The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz): the counterweight, since open options cost peace of mind.
Decision-Making & Risk
Optionality
Book IV, Ch. 12, Thales' Sweet Grapes. A scanned contents page puts the chapter start at p. 173, edition not stated, so treat the page as unverified (Random House, 2012).
Learn a skill / upskill; Build emergency fund / invest
17; 20
Plan: Each month I will run one small, cheap trial that would open a door if it worked and cost little if it failed. I will keep what works and drop the rest without guilt.
options, optionality, asymmetry, trial and error, experiments, uncertainty, prediction, upside, small bets, flexibility, career, tinkering, opportunity, planning, luck, cheap trials, doors, exploration, commitment, risk
You try to plan the one right path in advance, and freeze, since you cannot know enough. Or you lock in early and cannot benefit from surprises.
List three small, cheap trials you could run this month that would each open a door if they worked and cost little if they failed. Start one.
An option is the right, not the duty, to act. With many cheap options you need not predict the future, only recognise a good outcome.
Antifragile
Single Model
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Not started
Pair a very safe base with a small number of bold bets, and get out of the risky middle.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Taleb's barbell puts weight at two ends and nothing in the middle. In money, that might mean most of your savings in the safest things available and a small part in highly speculative bets. The most you can lose is the small part, and the upside is open. He contrasts this with putting everything in 'medium risk', which can be wiped out by one error in how the risk was measured. He gives life versions too: writers who kept a dull, secure job and wrote in their own time. His order of work is to remove the chance of ruin first, and only then to take risks. Likely to trip me up: the safe part feels like wasted potential, and the bold part feels irresponsible. Note: a principle from options trading, offered as philosophy. It is not financial advice, and whether it beats an ordinary diversified portfolio is disputed. (Source: Antifragile, Ch. 11.)
Keep a Balanced Risk Portfolio (Originals, Adam Grant): the same shape, found in the lives of entrepreneurs. Room for Error (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): survive first.
Decision-Making & Risk
The Barbell Strategy
Book III, Ch. 11, Never Marry the Rock Star. A scanned contents page puts the chapter start at p. 159, edition not stated, so treat the page as unverified (Random House, 2012).
Build emergency fund / invest; Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
20; 17; 27
Plan: For career and for savings, I will write what my very safe part is and what my small, bold part is. If one is missing, I will sketch how to add it within three months.
barbell, risk, safe, speculative, bets, downside, upside, investing, career, side project, ruin, medium risk, security, asymmetry, day job, savings, portfolio, bold, uncertainty, strategy
You take 'medium' risk everywhere: a moderately risky job, portfolio and plan. You are exposed to ruin and have no real shot at a big win.
For one area, such as career or savings, write what your 'very safe' part is and what your 'small, bold' part is. If either is missing, sketch it.
Avoid the middle. Keep most of what you have very safe and put a small part in bold bets with big upside. Cap the loss, keep the luck.
Misbehaving
Single Model
Richard H. Thaler
Not started
Check how a price, a request or a change will look to the other person before I make it.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: with two colleagues, Thaler ran telephone surveys about everyday fairness. One question: a hardware shop raises the price of snow shovels the morning after a big storm. About four in five people called that unfair, though any economics textbook would call it sensible. The pattern across many questions was that people accept price rises that cover higher costs, and resent ones that exploit a shortage. They feel entitled to the terms they are used to. Framing matters as well: removing a discount is tolerated far better than adding a surcharge. He gives cases of firms that ignored these norms and paid for it in lost customers. Likely to trip me up: the spreadsheet says raise the price, and the damage to goodwill does not show up until later. Note: survey research from the 1980s, repeated since in several countries with broadly similar results. (Source: Misbehaving, Ch. 14.)
Reciprocation (Influence, Robert Cialdini): people repay what they receive, good or bad. The Emotional Bank Account (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): unfairness is a large withdrawal.
People & Communication
What Seems Fair?
Part IV, Ch. 14, What Seems Fair? Starts on p. 127 (W. W. Norton paperback, 2016; same pagination in the Allen Lane edition).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: Before I raise a price, withdraw a benefit or ask a favour, I will write how it compares with what the other person is used to, and look for a framing that is honest and feels fair.
fairness, pricing, gouging, trust, goodwill, customers, surcharge, discount, entitlement, reference point, relationships, negotiation, resentment, reputation, favours, salary, business, norms, loyalty, backlash
You set a price, a fee or a favour by what you can get away with today. The other side feels gouged, and the relationship pays for it for years.
Before you raise a price, cut a benefit or ask a favour, ask how it will look to the other person compared with what they are used to.
People judge prices and pay by fairness, not only by supply and demand. Exploit a shortage and they remember, and punish you later.
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Single Model
Joe Dispenza
Not started
Spend less of my day braced for problems, so that some of my attention is free to make things.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dispenza says the stress response evolved for short emergencies, and that humans can switch it on by thought alone and leave it on. In that survival state, attention narrows to three things: the body, the surroundings and time. We become self-absorbed, reactive and focused on the material world. He contrasts this with creation: moments when we are so absorbed that we forget body, surroundings and time, which is when new thinking happens. Likely to trip me up: he says stress chemicals feel like energy and importance, so we get attached to our problems. Note: the picture of long-term stress narrowing attention and harming health fits mainstream research. The claims that people become chemically 'addicted' to their emotions, and the book's wider metaphysics, are not established. (Source: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Ch. 5.)
Slow Your Breath to Slow Your Body (Breath, James Nestor): a direct way out of the braced state. The Emotional Hijack (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman): the threat system takes over thinking.
Mindset & Emotions
Survival vs Creation
Ch. 5, Survival vs. Creation. Page not verified (Hay House, 2012).
Manage stress / anxiety; Improve mental health / be happier; Stop overthinking / rumination
12; 04; 15
Plan: Twice a day, when I notice I am rushing and braced, I will stop for two minutes, slow my breathing, and turn my attention to something I am building. I will note how often I catch it.
stress, survival mode, fight or flight, creativity, attention, anxiety, braced, rushing, calm, reactive, worry, absorbed, flow, body, time pressure, threat, overthinking, burnout, nervous system, focus
You are always braced for the next problem. Your attention never leaves your body, your surroundings and the clock, so nothing new gets made.
Once today, when you catch yourself rushing and braced, stop for two minutes. Slow your breathing, and turn your attention to something you are making.
Living in stress locks attention on body, surroundings and clock. Change and creativity need a calmer state in which attention is free.
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Single Model
Joe Dispenza
Not started
Find out what feeling my distractions are covering, and look at it directly.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dispenza describes a gap between the person we show the world and the person we are inside. The gap, he says, is filled with old feelings we have never dealt with, such as unworthiness, anger or fear. To avoid feeling them, we use the outer world to change our inner state: work, relationships, entertainment, technology, food and substances. For years it works. Then, often in midlife or a crisis, the same distractions give less relief and we need more of them. He says the way out is to face and unlearn those feelings until how we appear matches who we are. Likely to trip me up: distraction works in the short run, so the ten quiet minutes will feel like the wrong use of time. Note: Dispenza's own description, not a research finding, though it fits what psychologists call avoidance of inner experience. Lasting low mood or reliance on alcohol or drugs deserves professional help. (Source: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Ch. 7.)
You Cannot Numb Selectively (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): dulling the bad feelings dulls the good ones too. Solitude Deprivation (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): never being alone with your own mind.
Mindset & Emotions
The Gap
Ch. 7, The Gap. Page not verified (Hay House, 2012).
Cut phone / social-media use; Drink less alcohol; Improve mental health / be happier
06; 11; 04
Plan: Three times a week I will sit for ten minutes with no phone, music or task, and write one line about the first feeling that comes up. After a month I will look for the pattern.
avoidance, distraction, numbing, busyness, phone, alcohol, emptiness, identity, feelings, midlife, crisis, mask, authenticity, solitude, escape, entertainment, unworthiness, inner life, facade, restlessness
You keep yourself busy, entertained and slightly numbed. Underneath sits a feeling you have not looked at for years, and it takes more and more distraction to keep it quiet.
Sit for ten minutes with no phone, music or task. Notice which feeling comes up first. Write one line about it.
There is a gap between who you appear to be and who you are. We fill it with busyness, gadgets and substances, until they stop working.
Breath
Single Model
James Nestor
Not started
Retrain my shallow desk breathing by finishing the out-breath.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Nestor tells the story of a choir conductor who noticed in the 1950s that his singers, and later patients with severe lung disease in veterans' hospitals, were barely breathing out. He taught them to exhale fully and to use the diaphragm, and patients who had been bedridden improved. He went on to coach Olympic runners. Nestor says most adults use only a small part of the diaphragm's range, and that a longer, fuller exhale makes each breath more efficient. The practice he describes is to count softly from one to ten, over and over, on a long out-breath. Likely to trip me up: nobody notices their own shallow breathing, and the full exhale feels unnatural at first. Note: the conductor's work was never tested in controlled trials, and the hospital results are historical accounts. Slow breathing with a long exhale does have research support for calming the nervous system. Anyone with a lung or heart condition should ask a doctor first. (Source: Breath, Ch. 4.)
The Sacred Pause (Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach): a slow breath out is the simplest pause. Stress Is a Dose (Spark, John Ratey): tools that bring the dose back down.
Habits & Behavior Change
Exhale Fully
Ch. 4, Exhale. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2020).
Manage stress / anxiety; Exercise / move daily; Meditate / mindfulness
12; 01; 21
Plan: Three times a day I will breathe out slowly through my nose to a soft count of ten until my lungs feel empty, and let the in-breath come by itself. I will note my stress level before and after.
exhale, breathing, diaphragm, shallow breathing, desk, stress, calm, lungs, breath out, anxiety, posture, running, singing, relaxation, nervous system, count to ten, tension, breathwork, slow, chest
You breathe high in the chest in short sips, more so at a desk or under stress. You feel short of air, and respond by trying to breathe in harder.
Three times today, breathe out slowly through your nose to a soft count of ten, until your lungs feel empty. Let the next breath in come by itself.
Most people only breathe out part of the way. A slow, complete exhale works the diaphragm and makes room for a deeper, easier breath in.
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Single Model
Joe Dispenza
Not started
Have a practised response ready for my hard moments, so the old one does not win by default.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dispenza describes experiments in which people who only imagined practising a simple piano exercise showed changes in the same brain area as people who practised on the keys. He argues that when we rehearse with full attention, the brain treats it much like the real thing, so the new response is already familiar when the moment comes. His seventh step is to decide who you want to be and rehearse that person's thoughts, actions and feelings daily. Likely to trip me up: attention drifts, and it is tempting to picture only the happy ending and not the actions. Note: mental practice is real. Reviews find it improves performance, though less than physical practice, and it works for rehearsing actions. Research also shows that only daydreaming about a good outcome can reduce effort. Dispenza's larger claim, that rehearsal draws events towards you, has no support. (Source: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Ch. 13.)
Plan for the Hard Moment (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): decide the response before the moment arrives. Action Triggers (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): tie the rehearsed act to a specific cue.
Habits & Behavior Change
Mental Rehearsal
Ch. 13, Create a New Mind for Your New Future (Week Four), Step 7: Creating and Rehearsing. Page not verified (Hay House, 2012).
Quit smoking / vaping; Learn a skill / upskill; Exercise / move daily
10; 17; 01
Plan: Each morning I will spend five minutes picturing one hard moment of the day ahead, such as a craving after a stressful call, and walk through exactly what I will do, step by step.
mental rehearsal, visualisation, imagery, practice, preparation, craving, hard moment, performance, brain, piano study, new self, routine, confidence, sport, presentation, response, habits, focus, simulation, plan
When the hard moment comes, you have no practised alternative, so the old response wins by default.
Pick one hard moment you expect this week. Spend five minutes picturing, step by step, what you will do and how it will feel to do it.
Rehearse the new behaviour in your mind, in detail and with feeling, until it is familiar. The brain practises it much as if you had acted.
The 4-Hour Body
Single Model
Tim Ferriss
Not started
Stop changing my habits on the strength of headlines, and check the claim first.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ferriss gives a short list of questions for judging a study or headline. Is a relative change, such as a percentage, being used to impress, when the absolute change is tiny? A risk that falls from two in a hundred to one in a hundred has 'halved'. Is it an observational study being presented as proof of cause? Did it rely on people reporting their own behaviour, such as food diaries? Was there a control group? And who funded it? Likely to trip me up: I check numbers that annoy me and wave through numbers that confirm what I hoped. Note: this is standard research-methods advice, and it cuts both ways. The same questions apply to Ferriss's own book, which rests largely on self-experiments with a sample of one. (Source: The 4-Hour Body, 'Spotting Bad Science 101'.)
Swimmer's Body Illusion (The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli): selection mistaken for cause. The Size Instinct (Factfulness, Hans Rosling): a lone number means little without a comparison.
Thinking & Reasoning
Spotting Bad Science
Appendices and Extras: 'Spotting Bad Science 101: How Not to Trick Yourself'. Page not verified (Crown Archetype, 2010).
Eat healthier; Read / learn more; Lose weight
02; 09; 08
Plan: For any health claim that tempts me to change what I do, I will run the questions before acting and write down the answers. I will apply the same test to the books I cover on the channel.
science, studies, headlines, relative risk, absolute risk, correlation, causation, control group, self-report, funding, health claims, supplements, nutrition, scepticism, evidence, statistics, media, diet advice, critical thinking, research
A headline says a food 'doubles your risk' or a supplement 'boosts' something by 40 percent. You change your habits, and next year the advice reverses.
Take one health headline you see today. Find out if the number is a relative or an absolute change, and if the study observed people or ran an experiment.
Before trusting a health claim, ask: relative or absolute change? Observation or experiment? Self-reported? Control group? Who paid?
The Millionaire Next Door
Single Model
Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko
Not started
See my car, and other status purchases, as a monthly cost set against my savings.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Stanley and Danko surveyed American millionaires in the 1990s and asked what they drove. Most did not drive luxury cars. The typical millionaire had paid a modest sum for their latest vehicle, a large share bought used, and most did not lease. The authors sort buyers into types and find that those who shop for used vehicles tended to be the best at building wealth. People with high incomes and little wealth spent a far larger share of their net worth on cars. Likely to trip me up: a car is visible to neighbours and colleagues, and an investment account is not. Note: a 1990s American survey of people who were already rich. It cannot show that frugality caused their wealth, since frugal people who never became rich were not surveyed. The arithmetic of car costs holds either way. (Source: The Millionaire Next Door, Ch. 4.)
Wealth Is What You Don't See (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): the money not spent is the wealth. Expenses Rise to Meet Income (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): every raise finds a new cost.
Decision-Making & Risk
You Aren't What You Drive
Ch. 4, You Aren't What You Drive. Page not verified (Longstreet Press, 1996).
Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending; Stop comparing / social-media envy
03; 22; 26
Plan: I will work out the full monthly cost of my vehicle, including loss of value, and put it next to my monthly savings. Before my next vehicle purchase I will price a used model two to three years old first.
car, status, spending, used car, lease, depreciation, frugal, millionaire, net worth, showing off, raise, lifestyle, vehicle, payments, image, neighbours, wealth, luxury, budget, big purchases
You got a raise, so you 'deserve' a better car. The payment eats the raise, and the car tells the world about money you no longer have.
Work out what your vehicle really costs per month: payment, insurance, fuel, repairs and loss of value. Compare it with what you save each month.
Most millionaires in the survey drove modest cars, often bought used. A car is a purchase that shows wealth and drains it at the same time.
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Single Model
Joe Dispenza
In progress
Quit smoking by changing the state I am in when the urge comes, and not only the act of smoking.
From my own attempts so far (summary only, my original notes belong here): failed on the first and second tries, succeeded on the third, relapsed after a stressful work call. Likely to work next time: Dispenza says a habit is a loop of familiar thoughts and familiar feelings, so the moment to act is when the old feeling arrives, before the act itself. A pause and slow breathing change the feeling first. Likely to trip me up: he says the body has memorised the old state and pushes hard to return to it, most of all under stress. Note: Dispenza is a chiropractor, not a neuroscientist. His claims about quantum physics and about thoughts changing matter are rejected by physicists and have no research support. The thinking-and-feeling loop itself is close to mainstream cognitive therapy. Nicotine dependence is physical as well as mental, and medical support improves the odds of quitting. (Source: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Part I.)
Identity-Based Habits (Atomic Habits, James Clear): become the person first, and the acts follow. Move Through the Craving (Spark, John Ratey): a physical way to shift state when the urge comes.
Mindset & Emotions
State of Being
Part I, The Science of You. The thinking-and-feeling loop is set out in the early chapters. Exact chapter not verified, so check your copy. Page not verified (Hay House, 2012).
Quit smoking / vaping; Improve mental health / be happier; Cut phone / social-media use
10; 04; 06
Summary carried over from my first version of this entry, to be replaced with my original words: I tried this on smoking. The first and second attempts failed. The third worked, and then I relapsed after a stressful Webex call. Plan for next time: when the urge hits, slow breathing and a five-minute delay before anything else.
smoking, quit, craving, urge, stress, state of being, identity, feelings, thoughts, loop, relapse, breathing, delay, habit, autopilot, emotion, personality, change, triggers, cigarette, vaping, mood
Stress pushes you back to the old habit before you even notice.
When the urge hits, delay five minutes and do one slow round of breathing first.
Your thoughts and feelings feed each other in a loop that hardens into a state of being. You mistake it for who you are. Change the loop.
The 4-Hour Body
Single Model
Tim Ferriss
Not started
Take most food decisions out of my week, so I stop deciding what to eat when I am hungry and tired.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Ferriss's diet has five rules: avoid 'white' carbohydrates, eat the same few meals over and over, do not drink calories, do not eat fruit, and take one day off a week. The second rule is the transferable one. He says the most successful dieters, whatever their plan, eat the same few meals again and again, built from short lists of proteins, legumes and vegetables. The fifth rule gives a weekly day when anything is allowed, which he says makes the other six days bearable. Likely to trip me up: boredom, and the free day stretching into a free weekend. Note: Ferriss's evidence is his own self-experiments and reports from readers, not trials. Cutting down decisions and planning a release valve fit research on choice and on sticking to plans. The specific food rules, such as no fruit, are contested, and planned binge days are a bad idea for anyone with a history of disordered eating. (Source: The 4-Hour Body, 'The Slow-Carb Diet I'.)
Know When You Will Choose Badly (Nudge, Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein): take the decision away from the hungry moment. Be Boring (Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon): routine frees energy for what matters.
Habits & Behavior Change
Eat the Same Few Meals
Section 'Subtracting Fat: Basics', chapter 'The Slow-Carb Diet I: How to Lose 20 Pounds in 30 Days Without Exercise'. Page not verified (Crown Archetype, 2010).
Lose weight; Eat healthier; Cut junk food / emotional eating
08; 02; 19
Plan: I will choose one breakfast and two lunches I am content to repeat, shop for them on Sunday, and eat them on workdays for a month. I will keep one planned free day a week and note if it spills over.
meal planning, same meals, diet, decisions, variety, weight loss, cheat day, routine, slow carb, meal prep, hunger, willpower, simplicity, groceries, lunch, breakfast, adherence, boredom, rules, eating
Every meal is a fresh decision, made when you are hungry and tired. Variety feels healthy, and it is where the plan falls apart.
Choose one breakfast and one lunch you would be content to eat all week. Shop for them today. Decide which day is your free day.
Pick a few meals that work and repeat them. Less variety means fewer decisions and fewer slips. One planned day off a week guards the rest.
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Single Model
Joe Dispenza
Not started
Break the daily chain of cues that keeps me thinking and acting the same way.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Dispenza says our surroundings are mapped into the brain. The same people, places, objects and times of day fire the same circuits each morning. That produces the same thoughts, which lead to the same choices, the same behaviour, the same experiences and the same feelings. His phrase for change is to think greater than your environment: hold a clear inner picture of who you want to be that does not depend on what is around you today. Likely to trip me up: he says the familiar feels safe to the body, so new surroundings and routines feel wrong at first. Note: the core claim, that context cues drive habitual behaviour, is well supported by habit research. Dispenza's further claim that thought alone reshapes outer reality is not supported. (Source: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Ch. 2.)
Jump Through Windows (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): a change of context is the easiest time to change a habit. The Habit Loop (The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg): the cue comes first.
Habits & Behavior Change
Think Greater Than Your Environment
Ch. 2, Overcoming Your Environment. Page not verified (Hay House, 2012).
Cut phone / social-media use; Quit smoking / vaping; Cut junk food / emotional eating
06; 10; 19
Plan: I will list the fixed cues of my day, from the first thing I touch in the morning to my evening seat. Each week I will change one, and note which automatic thought or urge fails to show up.
environment, cues, routine, surroundings, autopilot, triggers, same thoughts, familiar, change, context, habits, phone, smoking, snacking, morning, people, places, vision, rut, stuck
You wake in the same bed, reach for the same phone, take the same route and see the same people. Then you wonder why you think and feel the same as last year.
Change one fixed cue today: a different route, seat, morning order or lunch spot. Notice which automatic thought does not arrive.
Familiar places, people and objects cue the same thoughts, choices and feelings every day. To change, think beyond what surrounds you.
Breath
Single Model
James Nestor
Not started
Stop gulping air when I exercise or feel anxious, and get comfortable with lighter breathing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Nestor explains that carbon dioxide is not just waste. The blood needs it in order to release oxygen to the muscles and organs. Breathing too much blows off carbon dioxide, which is why overbreathing makes people dizzy and tingly. He meets followers of a Soviet doctor who taught patients, many of them asthmatic, to breathe less, and he describes a champion runner who trained while holding his breath. Nestor tries jogging on reduced breathing himself. Likely to trip me up: the feeling of air hunger is alarming, and the instinct is to open the mouth and gulp. Note: the role of carbon dioxide in oxygen release is textbook physiology. Trials of the breathe-less method for asthma show better symptoms and less use of reliever inhalers, and no change in lung function. It is never a substitute for medication. Do these exercises seated or walking, never in water or while driving. (Source: Breath, Ch. 6.)
The Minimum Effective Dose (The 4-Hour Body, Tim Ferriss): more is not better. Wu Wei: Act Without Forcing (Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu): effort that does not strain.
Habits & Behavior Change
Breathe Less
Ch. 6, Less. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2020).
Exercise / move daily; Manage stress / anxiety; Sleep better
01; 12; 05
Plan: On easy walks I will keep my mouth closed and breathe only through my nose, slowing down when I need to. I will do this three times a week and note how breathless I feel at the same pace.
breathing, overbreathing, carbon dioxide, nose breathing, breathless, running, anxiety, panic, dizzy, air hunger, asthma, light breathing, endurance, exercise, buteyko, calm, hyperventilation, stamina, walking, oxygen
You have been told to take big deep breaths. When anxious or exercising you gulp air through your mouth, and end up dizzy and more breathless.
On an easy walk today, keep your mouth closed and breathe only through your nose. Slow down if you must. Note how it feels after ten minutes.
Most of us breathe too much and too fast. Fewer, lighter breaths through the nose keep more carbon dioxide, which helps release oxygen.
Man's Search for Meaning
Single Model
Viktor E. Frankl
Not started
Stop hunting for one grand meaning of life, and look for meaning along three ordinary roads each week.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Frankl says the meaning of life differs from person to person and from hour to hour, so asking for it in general is like asking a chess champion for the best move in the world. Life puts the question to us, and we answer by being responsible. He names three ways to find meaning. The first is creating a work or doing a deed. The second is experiencing something, such as goodness, beauty or nature, or encountering another person in their uniqueness, which is love. The third is the attitude we take towards suffering we cannot avoid. He is firm that suffering is not required. If it can be removed, removing it is the meaningful act. Likely to trip me up: waiting for one grand purpose and overlooking the small ones. Note: Frankl's clinical philosophy, drawn from his practice and his years in the camps. Later research links a sense of meaning with better wellbeing, though it cannot show which causes which. (Source: Man's Search for Meaning, Part II.)
What's Your Sentence? (Drive, Daniel Pink): meaning through the work you choose. Amor Fati (The Obstacle Is the Way, Ryan Holiday): meeting what cannot be changed.
Mindset & Emotions
Three Ways to Find Meaning
Part II, Logotherapy in a Nutshell, section 'The Essence of Existence', with 'The Meaning of Love' and 'The Meaning of Suffering'. Page not verified (Beacon Press, 2006).
Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety
04; 12
Plan: Each Sunday I will write one line under three headings: something I will make or do, someone or something I will give my full attention to, and one hardship I will try to meet well.
meaning, purpose, logotherapy, work, love, suffering, attitude, emptiness, responsibility, existential, depression, grief, values, deeds, experience, nature, relationships, hardship, why, direction
You ask 'what is the meaning of my life?' as one giant question, find no answer, and conclude there is none.
Write one line under each heading for this week: something I will make or do, someone I will give full attention to, one hardship I will meet well.
Frankl names three ways to find meaning: doing a deed or creating a work, loving someone or something, and how you meet unavoidable pain.
Breath
Single Model
James Nestor
Not started
Put more food that needs real chewing back into my meals, and into my family's.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Nestor examines old skulls and finds that people who lived before farming and industry had wide jaws and straight teeth. As food became soft and processed, jaws and mouths grew smaller, teeth crowded, and airways narrowed, which he links to snoring, mouth breathing and sleep apnoea. He cites researchers who raised animals on soft or hard diets and found narrower faces on the soft one. He also tries a device meant to widen his own palate and reports new bone growth. Likely to trip me up: soft food is quicker and more convenient, which is how we got here. Note: anthropologists broadly accept that softer diets contributed to smaller jaws and crowded teeth, and that this happens while children grow. The claim that adults can widen their airways by chewing or mouth exercises has weak evidence, and Nestor's own result is a sample of one. Snoring or suspected sleep apnoea needs a doctor. (Source: Breath, Ch. 7.)
Medicine 3.0: Prevent, Don't Repair (Outlive, Peter Attia): act decades before the problem shows. Harnessing Adaptability (Peak, Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool): the body builds what it is made to use.
Habits & Behavior Change
Chew
Ch. 7, Chew. Page not verified (Riverhead Books, 2020).
Eat healthier; Sleep better
02; 05
Plan: I will add one food that needs proper chewing to each main meal, such as raw vegetables, nuts or tougher whole grains, and swap one soft processed snack a day for a whole one.
chewing, jaw, teeth, airway, soft food, processed food, snoring, sleep apnoea, children, whole foods, mouth breathing, crunchy, raw vegetables, nuts, diet, face, development, texture, eating, evolution
Almost everything you eat is soft: bread, pasta, smoothies, processed snacks. Your jaw does little work, and your children's jaws even less.
Add one food that needs real chewing to a meal today: raw carrot, apple, nuts or tough whole grains. For children, offer whole foods over purées.
Soft modern food gave us smaller jaws, crowded teeth and narrower airways. Chewing harder food, from childhood on, helps keep airways open.
A Technique for Producing Ideas
Single Model
James Webb Young
Not started
Produce ideas on demand by joining things I already know, and stop waiting for one to arrive from nowhere.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Young gives two principles. The first is that an idea is nothing more nor less than a new combination of old elements. The second is that the ability to make new combinations depends largely on the ability to see relationships. To some minds each fact is a separate bit of knowledge. To others it is a link in a chain. He says the habit of looking for relationships between facts can be cultivated, and he compares the mind to a kaleidoscope: the more pieces of glass in it, the more patterns it can make. Likely to trip me up: Young says the formula is so simple to state that few who hear it really believe in it. Note: a 1940s advertising executive's account of his own working method, in about fifty pages. Experience, not research, though it fits later studies of creativity as linking distant ideas. (Source: A Technique for Producing Ideas, 'Combining Old Elements'.)
Steal Like an Artist (Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon): nothing comes from nowhere. The Adjacent Possible (Where Good Ideas Come From, Steven Johnson): new ideas are built from the parts at hand.
Creativity & Ideas
New combinations
Section 'Combining Old Elements'. Page not verified (McGraw-Hill, 2003 edition).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: For each new video or project, I will write down two things I know well that seem unrelated, and force three links between them before I look anywhere else for ideas.
ideas, creativity, combination, old elements, relationships, originality, connecting, kaleidoscope, brainstorm, innovation, advertising, links, inspiration, new ideas, blank page, side project, content ideas, patterns, remix, invention
You wait for an idea from nowhere. You think originality means inventing from nothing, so you feel you have nothing to offer.
Take two things you know well that seem unrelated. Write three ways they could be joined into something useful.
An idea is nothing more than a new combination of old elements. The skill behind it is seeing how things that seem unrelated connect.
The Happiness Advantage
Single Model
Shawn Achor
Not started
Retrain the fault-finding scan my job has built, so I do not turn it on my home and myself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Achor describes a study in which people played a block-stacking video game for hours a day and then kept seeing falling blocks everywhere, even in their sleep. He says any pattern we practise becomes what the brain looks for. He tells of tax auditors who spent their days hunting for errors and began to see errors in everything, including their families. His fix is to train the opposite scan: each day, write down three good things that happened. He cites a study in which people who did this for a week were happier and less depressed at follow-ups months later. Likely to trip me up: Achor says the effect comes from doing it daily, at a set time, and that it fades when the practice lapses. Note: the three-good-things study used online volunteers and self-report, and later replications found smaller effects. (Source: The Happiness Advantage, Principle #3.)
Gratitude Is a Practice (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): the same exercise, reached from interviews. The Negativity Instinct (Factfulness, Hans Rosling): we notice the bad more than the good.
Habits & Behavior Change
The Tetris Effect
Part 2, Principle #3: The Tetris Effect. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2010).
Improve mental health / be happier; Journal / self-reflect; Improve relationships / communicate
04; 24; 25
Plan: Each evening at the same time I will write three specific good things from the day. After three weeks I will check if I notice good things more readily during the day.
tetris effect, attention, scanning, negativity, gratitude, three good things, fault-finding, pattern, positivity, journal, auditors, criticism, habit, optimism, perception, bias, training the brain, work mindset, relationships, daily practice
Your job trains you to find what is wrong: bugs, errors, risks. You bring the same scan home, to your partner, your children and yourself.
Tonight, write three specific good things that happened today. Do it for a week, at the same time each day.
You keep seeing what you practise looking for. Hunt faults all day and faults are all you see. Train the scan on good things and it shifts.
The Happiness Advantage
Single Model
Shawn Achor
Not started
Stop postponing a good mood until after the result, and use it as a tool for getting the result.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Achor says most of us follow a formula: work hard, become successful, then be happy. He argues the evidence points the other way. He cites a review of more than two hundred studies which found that happiness tends to come before success in work, health and friendship. He describes doctors who were put in a good mood before a diagnosis task and reached the right answer faster. He draws on research showing that positive emotions widen attention and build resources. His list of mood lifters includes meditation, something to look forward to, acts of kindness, exercise and using a personal strength. Likely to trip me up: Achor says we treat happiness as a reward for later, so lifting our mood first feels like cheating. Note: the link between positive mood and later success has support, though much of it is correlational and the effects are modest. The book also cites a 'positivity ratio' for teams whose mathematics was later discredited. (Source: The Happiness Advantage, Principle #1.)
Move Your Mood (Spark, John Ratey): exercise as a direct mood lever. Happiness Cannot Be Pursued, It Must Ensue (Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl): a caution against chasing the feeling itself.
Mindset & Emotions
The Happiness Advantage
Part 2, Principle #1: The Happiness Advantage. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2010).
Improve mental health / be happier; Be more productive / organised; Manage stress / anxiety
04; 13; 12
Plan: Before my hardest task each day I will spend two minutes on something that reliably lifts my mood, and note if the task went differently.
happiness, success, positive mood, performance, productivity, mindset, optimism, work, motivation, wellbeing, broaden and build, energy, stress, results, positivity, formula, mood boost, kindness, creativity, advantage
'I will be happy when I get the promotion, the grade, the body.' Each target moves when you reach it, and you work the whole way in a grim mood.
Before your hardest task today, spend two minutes on something that reliably lifts your mood: a short walk, a message of thanks, a funny clip.
We assume success brings happiness. Achor argues it mostly runs the other way: a positive mood comes first and makes good work more likely.
A Technique for Producing Ideas
Single Model
James Webb Young
Not started
Keep my stock of raw material full, so there is always something to combine.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Young says the first step is to gather raw material, and that most people dodge it and sit around hoping for inspiration. He names two kinds. Specific material is about the problem in hand, studied until you find what is individual about it. He recalls a novelist who was told to study one cab driver until he could describe how that man differed from every other cab driver in the world. General material is knowledge about life and events, and gathering it is a lifelong job. Every good creative person he knew was curious about everything. His tools are index cards for the specific facts and a scrapbook or file for the general ones. Likely to trip me up: Young calls gathering a terrible chore, since it does not feel like working on the problem. Note: one practitioner's method, not research. (Source: A Technique for Producing Ideas, 'Ideas Are New Combinations'.)
The Slow Hunch (Where Good Ideas Come From, Steven Johnson): keep a commonplace book so half-ideas can meet. Read a Lot and Write a Lot (On Writing, Stephen King): input is the raw material of output.
Learning & Knowledge
Gather Specific and General Materials
Section 'Ideas Are New Combinations' (step one of the method). Page not verified (McGraw-Hill, 2003 edition).
Read / learn more; Journal / self-reflect; Learn a skill / upskill
09; 24; 17
Plan: For each project I will put every specific fact on its own card. Alongside, I will keep one running file of anything interesting from any field, and add to it daily.
research, raw material, facts, general knowledge, curiosity, index cards, scrapbook, notes, commonplace book, gathering, preparation, reading widely, swipe file, homework, ideas, creativity, collecting, inspiration, depth, breadth
You sit waiting for inspiration with an empty head. You skipped the dull work of collecting, so there is nothing to combine.
For your current project, write every specific fact you know on separate cards. Then start one file for interesting things from outside it.
Ideas need two kinds of raw material: deep facts about the problem, and wide general knowledge built up over years. Most skimp on both.
The Consolations of Philosophy
Single Model
Alain de Botton
Not started
Stop measuring myself against one town's habits as if they were laws of nature.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: de Botton describes Montaigne travelling through Europe and reading accounts of newly met peoples. Everywhere he found that each nation took its own customs for reason itself. He wrote that every man calls barbarous whatever is not his own practice. His small example is heating: Germans thought French open fires absurd, and the French thought the same of German stoves. His conclusion was to judge customs by reason and not by familiarity, which cuts both ways: less contempt for others, and less shame about oneself. He also wrote frankly about the body and its failings, to console readers that everyone shares them. Likely to trip me up: the local normal is invisible from inside. Note: de Botton's popular reading. Montaigne's tolerance had limits, and he still condemned cruelty wherever he found it. (Source: The Consolations of Philosophy, Ch. IV.)
The Extrovert Ideal (Quiet, Susan Cain): one 'normal' that is really a local fashion. Fitting In Is Not Belonging (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): do not reshape yourself to match the room.
Biases & Blind Spots
The Normal Is Local
Ch. IV, Consolation for Inadequacy (Montaigne). Page not verified (Pantheon, 2000).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Improve mental health / be happier
26; 04
Plan: When I feel abnormal about how I live or work, I will look for one time or place where it was ordinary. Then I will ask if I have a real objection to it, or only an unfamiliar feeling.
montaigne, normal, custom, culture, shame, abnormal, inadequacy, relativism, travel, judgement, difference, body, conformity, self-acceptance, tradition, prejudice, comparison, weird, tolerance, perspective
You feel odd for how you live, eat, love or work. You have compared yourself with one town in one decade and called that the standard.
Take one thing you feel 'abnormal' about. Find one time or place where it was ordinary. Then ask what your real objection is, if any.
What counts as normal or shameful is mostly local custom. Before you judge yourself or anyone as abnormal, ask whose 'normal' that is.
The Consolations of Philosophy
Single Model
Alain de Botton
Not started
Read and explain things for use in life, in plain words, and stop being cowed by difficult language.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: de Botton says Montaigne, one of the best-read men of his age, attacked the scholars around him. They knew their Latin grammar and could not manage their own lives. Montaigne separated learning from wisdom, and said he would sooner understand himself well in himself than in Cicero. He distrusted difficult prose, calling difficulty a coin the learned use to hide the emptiness of their studies. If a book was too hard or too dull, he put it down. He held that an ordinary life contains all the material needed for wisdom, since every person carries the whole form of the human condition. Likely to trip me up: obscure language impresses, and we defer to what we cannot follow. Note: de Botton's popular reading. The idea can be misused as an excuse to avoid books that are hard for good reason. (Source: The Consolations of Philosophy, Ch. IV.)
Chauffeur Knowledge (The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli): sounding informed is not understanding. Read What You Love Until You Love to Read (The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, Eric Jorgenson): drop the book that is not serving you.
Learning & Knowledge
Wise, Not Learned
Ch. IV, Consolation for Inadequacy (Montaigne). Page not verified (Pantheon, 2000).
Read / learn more; Learn a skill / upskill; Stop comparing / social-media envy
09; 17; 26
Plan: After each book I will write one way it changed what I do. In my own scripts I will replace any phrase I would not say to a friend. If a book is dense without reward, I will put it down.
wisdom, learning, montaigne, plain language, jargon, pedantry, reading, usefulness, intellectual insecurity, clever, books, difficulty, scholars, self-knowledge, practical, education, humility, simplicity, impress, understanding
You feel stupid next to people who quote big names. You slog through unreadable books to keep up, and remember nothing you can use.
For the last book you read, write one way it changed what you do. If you cannot, ask if you read it to live better or to look clever.
Judge what you learn by whether it helps you live, not by how hard it sounds. Plain words that make you wiser beat dense ones that impress.
12 Rules for Life
Single Model
Jordan Peterson
Not started
Measure my progress against my own yesterday, and make the daily aim small enough to hit.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Peterson says that in a small community a person could be the best at something. Online, you are compared with the best in the world at everything, and your inner critic picks whichever comparison you lose. He does not say to drop standards. He says to change the reference point. Take stock honestly: what is bothering me, could I fix it, and would I actually be willing to? Then set a very small aim for today, and bargain with yourself as you would with a worker you wanted to keep, reward included. Small daily gains compound, he says, and after a few years your life is a different one. Likely to trip me up: Peterson says the aim has to be small enough that you will do it, which means it will feel beneath you. Note: clinical advice from a polarising public figure. It is in line with research linking upward social comparison to lower wellbeing. (Source: 12 Rules for Life, Rule 4.)
What's Your Sentence? (Drive, Daniel Pink): the same nightly question. Never Enough (Daring Greatly, Brené Brown): the comparison habit seen as culture.
Mindset & Emotions
Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday
Rule 4, Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today. Page not verified (Random House Canada, 2018).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Improve mental health / be happier; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
26; 04; 27
Plan: Each morning I will ask what one small thing would make tomorrow slightly better than today, do it, and mark it on a calendar. I will check the trend monthly, not daily.
comparison, envy, social media, progress, yesterday, small steps, self-improvement, inner critic, standards, daily aim, incremental, reward, compounding, self-worth, jealousy, goals, benchmarks, discouragement, growth, tiny wins
You open your phone, and within a minute you have lost to a fitter body, a richer founder and a happier family. You feel like giving up.
Ask: 'What one small thing could I do today that would make tomorrow slightly better?' Do it, and give yourself a small reward.
Someone is always better than you at anything. The fair comparison is with who you were yesterday. Aim to be a little better, and repeat.
A Technique for Producing Ideas
Single Model
James Webb Young
Not started
Get unstuck on creative work by stepping away on purpose, once the hard thinking is done.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Young says that in the third stage you make no direct effort at all. You drop the whole subject and put the problem out of your mind as completely as you can, and let the unconscious work on it while you sleep. He points to Sherlock Holmes, who would stop in the middle of a case and drag Watson to a concert. His advice is to turn to whatever stirs your imagination and emotions: music, the theatre, poetry, a detective story. Then, in the fourth stage, the idea appears out of nowhere, often while shaving, bathing or half awake in the morning. Likely to trip me up: Young stresses that the gathering and digesting must come first. Dropping a problem too early just means there is no raw material for the mind to work on. Note: one practitioner's method. Later research on incubation does find a real, modest benefit from stepping away. (Source: A Technique for Producing Ideas, 'Constantly Thinking About It'.)
Focused and Diffuse Modes (A Mind for Numbers, Barbara Oakley): the brain keeps working when attention lets go. Strategic Procrastination (Originals, Adam Grant): an open problem keeps gathering ideas.
Creativity & Ideas
Drop (Incubation)
Section 'Constantly Thinking About It' (steps three and four of the method). Page not verified (McGraw-Hill, 2003 edition).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Beat procrastination / focus
15; 07
Plan: After a focused block of reading or writing, I will drop the problem fully and do something that absorbs me, such as a walk, music or a game. I will keep a notebook close for when the idea turns up.
incubation, drop it, step away, break, subconscious, unconscious, walk, music, sleep on it, stuck, insight, shower ideas, rest, creativity, eureka, overthinking, downtime, problem solving, pause, games
You grind at a problem and the answer will not come, since you never step away from it.
After a block of hard, focused work, stop on purpose and do something unrelated that absorbs you: a walk, music or a game.
Once you have worked a problem to a standstill, drop it completely. Do something that stirs you, and let your mind work on it out of sight.
The Consolations of Philosophy
Single Model
Alain de Botton
Not started
Judge my ideas by the quality of the reasons for and against them, not by how many people nod or frown.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: de Botton describes Socrates stopping people in the marketplace and asking them to explain beliefs they took as common sense, such as what courage is. He sets out the method in steps. Find a statement widely held to be obvious. Imagine it could be false, and search for cases where it does not hold. If you find one, the statement is false or imprecise. Refine it to take in the exception, and repeat. De Botton's point is that a belief is not made true by a majority, and that what should worry us is not how many people oppose us but how good their reasons are. He adds the other side: being unpopular does not prove you right either. Likely to trip me up: disapproval hurts, so I read it as evidence. Note: de Botton is a populariser, and philosophers consider his accounts simplified. The steps are a fair short version of Socratic questioning. (Source: The Consolations of Philosophy, Ch. I.)
Look for What Would Prove You Wrong (The Black Swan, Nassim Taleb): hunt for the exception. Social Proof (Influence, Robert Cialdini): why the crowd's view feels like evidence.
Thinking & Reasoning
The Socratic Test
Ch. I, Consolation for Unpopularity (Socrates). Page not verified (Pantheon, 2000).
Stop comparing / social-media envy; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
26; 27
Plan: When I feel pushed by approval or disapproval, I will write the belief in one sentence, look for a clear exception, and rewrite it. For criticism, I will ask how good the reasons are.
socrates, unpopularity, common sense, criticism, majority, reasoning, exceptions, conformity, approval, logic, beliefs, doubt, independent thinking, disapproval, questioning, definitions, crowd, confidence, truth, debate
You drop an idea the moment others frown, or defend one because everyone around you nods. In both cases the crowd did your thinking.
Take one 'everyone knows' belief about success or money. Find one clear exception. Rewrite the belief so that it survives the exception.
A belief is not true because most people hold it, nor false because they reject it. Test it by reason: hunt for exceptions, then refine it.
12 Rules for Life
Single Model
Jordan Peterson
Not started
Turn my vague dreads into a short list of named problems I can act on.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Peterson says that when something goes wrong and we leave it vague, it stays as large as everything. He retells a children's story in which a small dragon appears in a house. The mother insists there is no such thing as a dragon, and it grows until it carries the house away. It shrinks the moment someone admits it is there. He applies this to couples who never discuss small irritations until they have piled up into something monstrous. His advice is to say exactly what is wrong and exactly what you want. A named problem can be tackled. He adds that we often find out what we mean only by trying to say it precisely. Likely to trip me up: Peterson says precision makes it possible to fail or to be refused, so vagueness feels safer. Note: clinical observation from a polarising public figure. It fits the standard therapy practice of making problems concrete. (Source: 12 Rules for Life, Rule 10.)
Practice Objectivity (The Obstacle Is the Way, Ryan Holiday): state the bare event without the story. What Is the Next Action? (Getting Things Done, David Allen): turn a worry into a physical next step.
Thinking & Reasoning
Be Precise in Your Speech
Rule 10, Be precise in your speech. Page not verified (Random House Canada, 2018).
Stop overthinking / rumination; Improve relationships / communicate; Manage stress / anxiety
15; 25; 12
Plan: When I notice a fog of worry, I will write three lines: the specific problem is, what I want instead is, the first step is. At home, I will raise small irritations while they are still small.
precision, clarity, vague, worry, dread, naming, problems, communication, couples, avoidance, specific, fog, dragon, anxiety, conflict, say what you mean, define, honesty, overthinking, first step
'Everything is going wrong.' 'We never talk.' The fog feels too big to tackle, so you avoid it, and it grows.
Take one vague worry. Write it as: 'The specific problem is... What I want instead is... The first step is...'
A vague problem grows in the dark. Say exactly what is wrong and exactly what you want. A named problem is smaller than a nameless dread.
The Happiness Advantage
Single Model
Shawn Achor
Not started
In my busiest weeks, protect time with people, since that is when I need it most.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Achor says that when pressure rises, most people retreat: they cancel dinners, skip calls and eat at their desks, to get more done. He argues this is the opposite of what works. In his survey of sixteen hundred university students, social support was by far the strongest predictor of happiness. He cites a study that followed a group of men for decades and concluded that relationships mattered more than anything else for a good life. At work, he says even brief, high-quality contact with colleagues lowers stress and lifts performance. Likely to trip me up: Achor says that under stress we see other people as a distraction from the work, which is exactly backwards. Note: the very high figure comes from Achor's own student survey. The broader link between social ties, health and wellbeing is among the best-supported findings in the field. (Source: The Happiness Advantage, Principle #7.)
The Emotional Bank Account (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): keep making deposits. Conversation, Not Connection (Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport): real contact, not likes.
People & Communication
Social Investment
Part 2, Principle #7: Social Investment. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2010).
Spend time with family/friends; Manage stress / anxiety; Improve relationships / communicate
14; 12; 25
Plan: When a deadline week comes, I will keep at least one social plan that I would normally cancel, eat one meal a day with someone, and send one message of thanks at work.
social support, relationships, stress, friends, family, isolation, deadlines, colleagues, connection, resilience, loneliness, busy, withdrawal, teamwork, wellbeing, burnout, investment, lunch, gratitude, community
Deadline week: you cancel the dinner, skip the call and eat at your desk. You cut off the one thing most likely to carry you through.
In your busiest stretch this week, keep one social plan you were about to cancel. Send one message of thanks to a colleague.
Under pressure most people withdraw to get more done. Those who cope best do the reverse: they put more into their relationships.
The Almanack of Naval Ravikant
Single Model
Eric Jorgenson (compiling Naval Ravikant)
Not started
Shift more of my effort into work that keeps producing after I stop.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Naval describes three classes of leverage. The oldest is labour: other people working for you, which is hard to manage. The second is capital: money, which someone has to give you. The newest is products with no marginal cost of replication: books, media, films and code. He calls this last kind permissionless, since you need nobody's approval to write a book, record a podcast or ship software. With leverage, he says, judgement matters more than hours, and what you put in stops matching what comes out. Likely to trip me up: leverage multiplies bad judgement as well as good, and most leveraged work reaches almost nobody at first. Note: a description of how some founders and creators built wealth. Results from media and software are extremely uneven, so this is a direction to lean in, not a promise. It is not financial advice. (Source: The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, 'Find a Position of Leverage'.)
Confounding Compounding (The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel): small returns that keep working. Share Something Small Every Day (Show Your Work!, Austin Kleon): a steady way to build a body of media.
Systems & Strategy
Leverage
Part I, Wealth: section 'Find a Position of Leverage'. Page not verified (Magrathea Publishing, 2020).
Be more productive / organised; Learn a skill / upskill; Build emergency fund / invest
13; 17; 20
Plan: Each week I will sort my outputs into those that end when I stop and those that keep working, such as videos, articles and templates. I will move a few hours a week from the first kind to the second.
leverage, scale, code, media, capital, labour, permissionless, passive, output, judgement, hours, creator, content, software, business, wealth, compounding, side project, automation, time for money
You trade hours for pay. Your output is capped by the hours in your day, and it stops the moment you do.
List your outputs this week. Mark each one that keeps working after you stop: a video, an article, a tool, a template. Make one more of those.
Leverage multiplies what your judgement produces. The old forms are labour and money. The new ones, code and media, need nobody's consent.
The Almanack of Naval Ravikant
Single Model
Eric Jorgenson (compiling Naval Ravikant)
Not started
Stop treating luck as one thing, and work on the kinds I can influence.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Naval describes four kinds of luck. The first is blind luck, which just happens. The second comes from persistence and motion: you stir things up and create more chances for something to land. The third comes from skill: you know a field so well that you notice a lucky break that others would miss. The fourth is the strangest and hardest: you build a unique character, reputation or skill, and luck comes looking for you. His example is the best deep-sea diver in the world. When someone finds a treasure ship that nobody else can reach, they bring the opportunity to the diver. Likely to trip me up: the third and fourth kinds take years to build, and the first kind gets all the attention. Note: a way of thinking borrowed from an older book on chance, not a finding. Blind luck, such as where and to whom you were born, still explains a great deal. (Source: The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, 'How to Get Lucky'.)
Good Luck Follows Action (The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason): chances come to those who act. Engineer Serendipity (Where Good Ideas Come From, Steven Johnson): arrange your life for happy accidents.
Decision-Making & Risk
Four Kinds of Luck
Part I, Wealth: section 'How to Get Lucky'. Page not verified (Magrathea Publishing, 2020).
Learn a skill / upskill; Break perfectionism / fear of failure
17; 27
Plan: For my main goal I will write one action for each workable kind of luck: more attempts and more contact with people, deeper skill so I can spot openings, and steady public work so that openings find me.
luck, chance, opportunity, persistence, hustle, preparation, reputation, serendipity, skill, motion, attempts, spotting, brand, career, success, randomness, deep-sea diver, exposure, initiative, fortune
You put other people's success down to luck and your own stalls down to bad luck. Either way there is nothing for you to do.
For your main goal, write one action for each kind: more attempts, sharper skill at spotting chances, and a reputation that draws them.
Luck comes in four kinds: blind chance, luck from staying in motion, luck you are skilled enough to spot, and luck that seeks you out.
12 Rules for Life
Single Model
Jordan Peterson
Not started
Spend my complaining energy on the things in my own life that I already know need fixing.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Peterson writes about people who turn their suffering into resentment, and sets against them people who suffered terribly and chose another path. He tells of a writer imprisoned in a labour camp who, instead of cursing fate, went through his own life asking where he himself had gone wrong. Peterson's rule is a set of questions. Have you cleaned up your life? Are you doing anything you know to be wrong? Could you stop today? He advises starting there, and not setting out to reorganise the world until your own experience is in order. He says life gets simpler and judgement improves. Likely to trip me up: Peterson says blame is easier and feels righteous. Note: a moral argument from biography and literature, by a polarising public figure. Some problems really are structural. The rule is a starting point for an individual, not a claim that the world is fair. (Source: 12 Rules for Life, Rule 6.)
Circle of Concern, Circle of Influence (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): work where you have power. Fault Is Not Responsibility (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson): whoever caused it, the next move is yours.
Mindset & Emotions
Set Your House in Order First
Rule 6, Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world. Page not verified (Random House Canada, 2018).
Be more productive / organised; Improve mental health / be happier; Manage stress / anxiety
13; 04; 12
Plan: Each week I will pick one thing I know I am doing wrong and could stop, and stop it. I will note what happens to my urge to blame others.
responsibility, blame, resentment, order, clean your room, self-discipline, complaining, integrity, stop doing, mess, accountability, victim, criticism, habits, control, humility, start small, bitterness, fix yourself, conscience
You have sharp opinions on what is wrong with your company, your family and your country. Your own desk, sleep and promises are a mess.
Ask: 'What am I doing that I know is wrong and could stop today?' Stop doing one such thing, today.
Before you blame the world, fix what is plainly in your power. Begin with what you already know you are doing wrong, and stop doing it.
The Almanack of Naval Ravikant
Single Model
Eric Jorgenson (compiling Naval Ravikant)
Not started
Find the kind of knowledge that comes naturally to me, and build on that in place of whatever is fashionable.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Naval says that if society can train you to do something, it can train someone else and replace you. Specific knowledge is the kind that cannot be taught in a course. It is found by pursuing your genuine curiosity and not whatever is hot right now. It is often technical or creative, and when it is passed on at all, it is through apprenticeship. His test: building it feels like play to you and looks like work to others. He adds that nobody can compete with you at being you. Likely to trip me up: what comes easily to me does not feel valuable, so I discount it and chase what is hard for me and easy for others. Note: aphorisms from a very successful technology investor, compiled from his tweets and interviews. They reflect one career, and the people for whom the same approach failed are not in the book. (Source: The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, 'Find and Build Specific Knowledge'.)
Curiosity Over Passion (Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert): follow the small interests. The Life's Task (Mastery, Robert Greene): look to childhood inclinations for direction.
Learning & Knowledge
Specific Knowledge
Part I, Wealth: section 'Find and Build Specific Knowledge'. Page not verified (Magrathea Publishing, 2020).
Learn a skill / upskill; Read / learn more
17; 09
Plan: I will list what I have done for hours unasked since childhood, ask two people who know me well what they have noticed, and look for the overlap with something others would pay for.
specific knowledge, career, skills, curiosity, talent, replaceable, unique, play, apprenticeship, strengths, niche, passion, self-knowledge, value, expertise, authenticity, hot skills, competition, calling, learning
You chase the skill that is 'hot' this year, along with a million others. You are easy to replace, and bored.
List what you did for hours as a child or teenager without being asked. Ask a parent or old friend what they noticed. Look for a pattern.
Specific knowledge is know-how no course can teach. It comes from following real curiosity, and feels like play to you but work to others.
The Happiness Advantage
Single Model
Shawn Achor
Not started
Rearrange my rooms so the habits I want are the easy ones.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Achor wanted to practise the guitar every day. It sat in a cupboard twenty seconds away, and he gave up after four days. He bought a stand and put the guitar in the middle of the room, and practised for twenty-one days straight. He then took the batteries out of his television remote and put them in a drawer twenty seconds away, and watched far less. He calls the effort needed to start a behaviour its activation energy, and says lowering it by even twenty seconds for good habits, and raising it for bad ones, changes what we do. Likely to trip me up: Achor says we overrate willpower and underrate the path of least resistance. Note: the chapter leans on the idea that willpower is a fuel that runs down, which has largely failed to replicate. The finding that small amounts of friction change behaviour is well supported elsewhere. (Source: The Happiness Advantage, Principle #6.)
Friction (Good Habits, Bad Habits, Wendy Wood): the research behind the rule. Change Your Defaults (Make Time, Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky): set things up so the good choice needs no decision.
Habits & Behavior Change
The 20-Second Rule
Part 2, Principle #6: The 20-Second Rule. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2010).
Exercise / move daily; Cut phone / social-media use; Read / learn more
01; 06; 09
Plan: I will put my book and workout clothes where I cannot miss them, and move my phone charger and the remote twenty seconds away from where I sit. I will count how often each habit happens for two weeks.
activation energy, friction, 20 seconds, environment, guitar, remote, willpower, habits, easy, convenience, phone, exercise, reading, path of least resistance, setup, defaults, temptation, design, distance, start
The guitar is in the cupboard and the remote is on the sofa. You blame willpower for a contest the furniture had already decided.
Pick one good habit and one bad one. Move one object so the good one is twenty seconds closer and the bad one twenty seconds further away.
Make a good habit twenty seconds easier to start and a bad habit twenty seconds harder. That small gap in effort often decides what you do.
A Technique for Producing Ideas
Single Model
James Webb Young
Not started
Get my ideas out of my head and in front of good critics early, and stay patient through the reworking.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Young calls the last stage the cold, grey dawn of the morning after. You take your newborn idea out into the world of reality, and usually find it is not quite the marvellous child it seemed at birth. It needs patient working over to fit the exact conditions it must meet. He says this is where many good ideas are lost, since the people who have them are often not patient or practical enough. His advice is not to hold the idea close to your chest. Submit it to the criticism of the judicious. A good idea, he says, has self-expanding qualities: it stirs those who see it to add to it, and possibilities you overlooked come to light. Likely to trip me up: pride in the idea makes me hide it, and impatience makes me drop it at the first flaw. Note: one practitioner's method, not research. (Source: A Technique for Producing Ideas, 'The Final Stage'.)
The Braintrust (Creativity, Inc., Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace): candid notes from people who want the work to succeed. Door Closed, Then Door Open (On Writing, Stephen King): first make it, then open it to readers.
Creativity & Ideas
Take the Idea out into the World
Section 'The Final Stage' (step five of the method). Page not verified (McGraw-Hill, 2003 edition).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Improve relationships / communicate
27; 25
Plan: For each new idea I will explain it to one person whose judgement I trust within a week, write down everything they add or question, and rework it before deciding its fate.
feedback, criticism, shaping, refine, idea development, patience, reality check, launch, iteration, trusted critics, sharing, ego, execution, polish, newborn idea, improve, practical, testing, collaboration, persistence
You fall in love with your idea and keep it to yourself. Or the first flaw makes you drop it. Either way it never becomes usable.
Take one idea you have been sitting on. Explain it to one person whose judgement you trust, and write down every addition they make.
A newborn idea rarely looks as good the next morning. Show it to sound critics, and rework it patiently until it fits the real world.
The Almanack of Naval Ravikant
Single Model
Eric Jorgenson (compiling Naval Ravikant)
Not started
Rebuild a daily reading habit on enjoyment first, and let the difficulty rise by itself.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Naval's rule is to read what you love until you love to read. He says a genuine love of reading is a superpower, and that it has to be built on enjoyment, since nobody keeps up a habit they dislike. He treats books without reverence: he starts many, skims, skips, and drops them without guilt, and finishes only the few that become the foundation of what he knows. As the habit grows, he says, taste moves by itself towards the originals and the classics in science, mathematics and philosophy, and the best books deserve slow, repeated reading. Likely to trip me up: guilt about unfinished books and about 'unserious' ones is what stops most people reading at all. Note: one person's practice, not research. His claim about how rare daily reading is was not meant as a statistic. (Source: The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, 'Learn to Love to Read'.)
Inspectional Reading (How to Read a Book, Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren): skim first to see if a book deserves more. Linger with a Few Great Minds (Letters from a Stoic, Seneca): go deep with the few that matter.
Learning & Knowledge
Read What You Love Until You Love to Read
Part I, Wealth: section 'Learn to Love to Read'. Page not verified (Magrathea Publishing, 2020).
Read / learn more; Cut phone / social-media use
09; 06
Plan: I will drop any book I am forcing, keep three books on the go that I want to pick up, and read for twenty minutes a day in a slot where I would otherwise scroll.
reading, books, habit, enjoyment, guilt, unfinished books, skim, skip, classics, originals, daily reading, fiction, love of reading, taste, learning, screens, slow reading, foundation, self-education, quit a book
You think you 'should' read serious books. You buy them, stall on page thirty, feel guilty, and stop reading altogether.
Drop the book you are forcing yourself through. Pick up the one you actually want to read, and give it twenty minutes today.
Start with whatever you truly enjoy reading, however light. The habit comes first. Taste then pulls you towards harder and better books.
The Consolations of Philosophy
Single Model
Alain de Botton
Not started
Check what I am really after before I buy, and go for it directly.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: de Botton explains that Epicurus, remembered as a lover of pleasure, lived simply in a shared house with friends and ate bread, olives and cheese. He sorted desires into three kinds. Natural and necessary: friends, freedom from bosses and patrons, time to think through one's worries, and basic food and shelter. Natural but unnecessary: a grand house, banquets. Neither: fame and power. De Botton draws a graph in which happiness rises steeply with the first money and then goes flat. He also explains why we keep craving luxuries: adverts tie goods to our real needs, so a car is sold as freedom and a drink as friendship. Likely to trip me up: objects are easier to buy than friendship is to build. Note: ancient philosophy retold by a populariser. Modern research broadly agrees that extra income matters less the more you have, though recent studies find it keeps mattering somewhat. (Source: The Consolations of Philosophy, Ch. II.)
The Fulfillment Curve (Your Money or Your Life, Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez): the point past which spending adds nothing. The Happiness Formula (The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt): we adapt to most purchases.
Decision-Making & Risk
Epicurus's Shopping List
Ch. II, Consolation for Not Having Enough Money (Epicurus). Page not verified (Pantheon, 2000).
Save money / spend less; Reduce debt / control spending; Spend time with family/friends
03; 22; 14
Plan: Before any non-essential purchase I will name the need under it: company, freedom or peace of mind. If a more direct route exists, such as calling a friend, I will take that first.
epicurus, money, enough, friends, freedom, simple living, advertising, luxury, needs, wants, happiness, consumerism, spending, substitutes, contentment, desire, status, frugality, thought, shopping
You feel a lack and an advert offers an object. You buy it. The lack was for friendship, freedom or calm, so it is still there.
Before your next non-essential purchase, ask: 'What am I really after: company, freedom or peace of mind? Is there a more direct way?'
Epicurus held that happiness needs few things: friends, freedom, an examined life, and basic food and shelter. Past that, money adds little.
12 Rules for Life
Single Model
Jordan Peterson
Not started
Give myself the same steady care I would give a person or animal who depended on me.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Peterson starts from a puzzle. Large numbers of people never collect their prescriptions or do not take their medicine properly, yet people reliably give medicine to their pets. His explanation is that we know our own faults too well and come to feel we do not deserve care. His rule is to treat yourself as if you were someone you were responsible for helping. He stresses that this is not indulgence. With a child, you ask what would be good for them, not what would make them happy this minute. So it means deciding where you are going, keeping promises to yourself, and looking after your health. Likely to trip me up: Peterson says self-contempt makes care of oneself feel undeserved. Note: Peterson is a clinical psychologist and a polarising public figure. The book mixes clinical experience with readings of myth and scripture. The figures on skipped medicine are well documented. The explanation is his own. (Source: 12 Rules for Life, Rule 2.)
Healthy Striving, Not Perfectionism (The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown): self-compassion without lowering standards. P/PC Balance (Sharpen the Saw) (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): look after what produces the results.
Habits & Behavior Change
Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping
Rule 2, Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping. Page not verified (Random House Canada, 2018).
Eat healthier; Sleep better; Improve mental health / be happier
02; 05; 04
Plan: Each Sunday I will ask what I would arrange for someone I loved who had my week ahead: sleep, meals, a doctor's visit, a break. Then I will book those things for myself.
self-care, responsibility, health, medication, pets, self-worth, sleep, diet, doctor, self-respect, neglect, discipline, kindness, wellbeing, promises to yourself, self-contempt, caring, habits, future self, deserve
You would never let your dog miss its medicine or your child skip sleep. You do both to yourself every week.
Ask: 'If someone I loved had my week ahead, what would I make sure they did?' Do one of those things for yourself today.
Many people look after a pet better than themselves. Treat yourself as someone in your care: ask what is good for you, not what you fancy.
The Happiness Advantage
Single Model
Shawn Achor
Not started
When I am overwhelmed, win back a sense of control through one small area before I widen out.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Achor borrows from the legend of Zorro. The young hero is wild and keen to fight everything at once. His teacher draws a small circle in the dirt and makes him fight inside it until he has mastered it, and only then widens it. Achor says the feeling of control is one of the strongest drivers of wellbeing and performance, and that under stress the emotional brain takes over from the thinking one. His steps: put your feelings into words, separate what you control from what you do not, choose one small goal you can reach quickly, and expand from there. Likely to trip me up: Achor says ambition pushes us to change everything at once, which is how most resolutions die. Note: the link between a sense of control and wellbeing is well supported. Some of the classic studies the chapter cites were small. (Source: The Happiness Advantage, Principle #5.)
Shrink the Change (Switch, Chip Heath and Dan Heath): make the first win certain. Circle of Concern, Circle of Influence (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): work where you have power.
Productivity & Focus
The Zorro Circle
Part 2, Principle #5: The Zorro Circle. Page not verified (Crown Business, 2010).
Manage stress / anxiety; Be more productive / organised; Reduce debt / control spending
12; 13; 22
Plan: When everything feels urgent I will list what is stressing me, sort it into what I can and cannot control, pick the smallest controllable item and finish it. Only then will I pick the next.
overwhelm, control, small goals, zorro circle, stress, focus, helplessness, first step, debt, inbox, mastery, expand, resolutions, priorities, calm, locus of control, manageable, progress, crisis, confidence
Everything is on fire: the inbox, the debt, the house. You flail at all of it, fix none of it, and feel more helpless each day.
Write everything that is stressing you. Circle the items you can control. Pick the smallest one and finish it today.
When you feel overwhelmed, shrink your effort to one small circle you can fully control. Master that, then widen the circle bit by bit.
A Technique for Producing Ideas
Single Model
James Webb Young
Not started
Do the uncomfortable middle work of wrestling my material together, and stop expecting ideas to appear from notes alone.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Young describes the second step as chewing the material. Take one fact, turn it this way and that, look at it in different lights, and feel for its meaning. Bring two facts together and see how they fit. While you do this, tentative or partial ideas will come. He says to put them down on paper however crazy or incomplete. Then you will get tired. He warns against stopping too soon, since the mind has a second wind. Keep going until everything is a jumble and you reach what he calls the hopeless stage. Only then is step two done. Likely to trip me up: Young says most people give up at the first tiredness, well before the hopeless stage. Note: one practitioner's method, not research. (Source: A Technique for Producing Ideas, 'The Mental Digestive Process'.)
Seed, Experiment, Craft, Complete (The Creative Act, Rick Rubin with Neil Strauss): the playful trying-out stage. Quantity Breeds Quality (Originals, Adam Grant): write down the poor ideas too.
Creativity & Ideas
The Mental Digestive Process
Section 'The Mental Digestive Process' (step two of the method). Page not verified (McGraw-Hill, 2003 edition).
Beat procrastination / focus; Learn a skill / upskill
07; 17
Plan: After gathering, I will set a timer for thirty minutes, pair my cards at random, and write down every half-idea without judging it. When I feel tired I will do one more round before I stop.
thinking, digestion, working the problem, notes, partial ideas, fatigue, second wind, pairing, synthesis, brainstorm, effort, stuck, persistence, creative process, jumble, writing down, combinations, focus, struggle, preparation
You collect plenty of material and then expect the idea to appear. You never do the uncomfortable middle work of wrestling the pieces together.
Take your notes on one problem. For twenty minutes, pair items at random and write whatever link occurs to you. Judge none of it.
Chew over what you gathered. Try facts together in pairs and write down every half-idea, however poor. Keep going past the first fatigue.
The Consolations of Philosophy
Single Model
Alain de Botton
Not started
Stop reading difficulty as a sign that I chose the wrong project.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: de Botton explains that Nietzsche began as a follower of a philosopher who advised avoiding pain, and then turned against that advice. He came to hold that fulfilment is reached by responding well to difficulty, not by escaping it. His images are the mountain, where the view comes only after a hard climb, and the gardener. Painful feelings such as envy and anxiety are like roots: ugly, and yet a good gardener grows them into something that bears fruit and does not cut them out. Envy, for instance, can show us what we want. He distrusted comforts that simply dull the pain, since they remove the signal along with the hurt. Likely to trip me up: I take pain as proof that something is wrong. Note: Nietzsche's view in de Botton's gentle version. Not all suffering is useful, and some of it needs relief or treatment, not cultivation. (Source: The Consolations of Philosophy, Ch. VI.)
Choose Your Struggle (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson): the pain you accept decides what you get. Stay on the Bus (Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman): the good part lies beyond the stretch where you want to quit.
Mindset & Emotions
No Fulfilment Without Difficulty
Ch. VI, Consolation for Difficulties (Nietzsche). Page not verified (Pantheon, 2000).
Break perfectionism / fear of failure; Manage stress / anxiety; Learn a skill / upskill
27; 12; 17
Plan: When my main project gets painful, I will write what the difficulty is, what it is asking me to learn, and one way to work with it. I will decide about quitting only at a planned review, not in the bad moment.
nietzsche, difficulty, struggle, pain, fulfilment, quitting, perseverance, envy, anxiety, growth, mountain, gardener, hardship, comfort, numbing, setbacks, meaning, effort, resilience, worthwhile
The project gets hard and you conclude it is 'not for you'. You quit and start something new, until that gets hard too.
Name the hardest part of your main project. Write what that difficulty is teaching you, and one way to work with it and not against it.
Nietzsche held that nothing worthwhile comes without difficulty. Pain on the way is not proof you chose wrongly. Ask what it can grow into.
12 Rules for Life
Single Model
Jordan Peterson
Not started
Listen well enough that the other person agrees I have understood, before I say what I think.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Peterson draws on his clinical practice. He says people think by talking, and that a good listener helps them sort out what they mean. He borrows a rule from the psychologist Carl Rogers: each person may speak up for themselves only after restating the ideas and feelings of the previous speaker accurately, and to that speaker's satisfaction. He lists the gains. You actually understand what was said. The speaker hears their own position boiled down and can refine it. And you cannot argue against a weak version of their view, since they have approved your summary. Likely to trip me up: Peterson says that summarising someone fairly might change your mind, which is exactly why we avoid doing it. Note: from a polarising public figure, but the technique is Rogers's and is standard in counselling. (Source: 12 Rules for Life, Rule 9.)
Listen for Feelings and Needs (Do Not Fix) (Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg): hear what is under the words. Aim for 'That's Right', Not 'You're Right' (Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss): a summary they fully endorse.
People & Communication
Listen as if They Know Something You Don't
Rule 9, Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't. Page not verified (Random House Canada, 2018).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends
25; 14
Plan: In disagreements I will first say 'let me check I have this right', sum up the other person's view, and wait for them to confirm or correct it before I reply.
listening, summarise, understanding, arguments, conversation, active listening, carl rogers, straw man, empathy, disagreement, curiosity, humility, partner, colleagues, conflict, thinking aloud, respect, paraphrase, dialogue, learning
While they talk, you are loading your reply. You win the point, learn nothing, and they leave feeling unheard.
In one conversation today, say 'Let me check I have this right', and sum up what the other person said before you give your view.
Assume the person speaking knows something you need. Before replying, sum up what they said so well that they agree you have understood.
The Almanack of Naval Ravikant
Single Model
Eric Jorgenson (compiling Naval Ravikant)
Not started
Choose the few people and fields I want to be with in twenty years, and behave accordingly now.
Not tried yet. Likely to work: Naval says all the returns in life, whether in wealth, relationships or knowledge, come from compound interest. In a long-term game, he says, everybody ends up making each other rich. In a short-term game, everybody is making themselves rich. Trust is what compounds between people: with someone you have dealt with for twenty years, you hardly need a contract. So he advises picking an industry where long-term games are possible, and partners with high intelligence, energy and, above all, integrity. Likely to trip me up: compounding looks like nothing for years, which is when most people switch games and reset to zero. Note: aphorisms from one investor's career, not research. It matches what is known about repeated dealings and trust. (Source: The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, 'Play Long-Term Games with Long-Term People'.)
The Emotional Bank Account (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey): trust built by small deposits. Stick Around (Show Your Work!, Austin Kleon): the ones who last are the ones who stay.
People & Communication
Play Long-Term Games with Long-Term People
Part I, Wealth: section 'Play Long-Term Games with Long-Term People'. Page not verified (Magrathea Publishing, 2020).
Improve relationships / communicate; Spend time with family/friends; Learn a skill / upskill
25; 14; 17
Plan: I will name three relationships and one field for the long haul. Each week I will do one thing in each that pays off slowly: a favour, a kept promise, an hour of deep learning.
long term, compounding, trust, relationships, reputation, partners, integrity, patience, career, loyalty, networking, friendship, iterated games, job hopping, commitment, decades, consistency, goodwill, investing, character
You hop between jobs, cities, partners and projects every year or two. Each time, the trust and knowledge you built resets to zero.
Name three relationships and one field you would like to still be in twenty years from now. Do one thing today that a twenty-year partner would do.
Big returns in wealth, relationships and knowledge come from compounding. So pick fields and people you can stay with for decades.
A framework for change
“I can't change” is usually the wrong conclusion
Atomic Changes turns mental models from great books into one small habit you actually keep.
We have all been in the place where change feels impossible. What has to change first is the approach. Atomic Changes gives you mental models, curated from the books worth reading, to aim at one specific habit — and most habits need several models, not one. That is the framework: intellect over impulse.
Habits × mental models
Each habit keeps its own mental models. Add one to a habit, leave it on Trying while you test it, and mark it Working when it helps.
- 0 trying
- 0 working
- Name one habit you want to change, or start from a ready-made stack.
- Add a mental model to it, and an if-then plan for the moment it starts.
- Press “I did it today” each day, and note what's working. A missed day dents your progress; it never resets it.
- No habits yet. Press “Add a habit” to name one and pick its mental models, or start from a stack.
A copy for yourself: